Warhammer Jokes, (oh dear....)

[JonathanC]

Beacuse Lord Tremendous started it off and Kitsune suggested it should continue....

Firstly, the ones I posted up earlier:

"Your momma's so gross she makes Nurgle sick!"

"Your momma's so ugly even Slaanesh wouldn't have her!!"

"Your momma changes her mind so much even Tzeentch doesn't know whats going on with her!!!"

"Your momma's caused so many road accidents even Khorne went: 'oh come on, that's just too much!!!!'"

"Your momma's a Fury!!!!!"

And another one for those who have seen these already:

A Clanrat walks into a bar....
....the bar then gets closed down by the local authorities for violating public health regualtion 16a on the control of pests and vermin.

Feel free to add your own.

[Lord Tremendous]

"Your mother is a high elf!" (This is the precursor to violence)

"Oh Gawd, I just Hanked!" (Only my circle of gamers will get this one... but I promise you they're smiling and shaking their heads)

"An Ogre Tyrant, a Gnoblar, an Elf, and a Kroxigor walk into a bar... Only the Tyrant walks out"

As your walking towards the bathroom, "Sorry guys I'll be right back, Nurgle must be sated!"

As your walking out of the bathroom with a haze drifting from the door. "Nurgle's will be done!"

Thats all I can come up with at the moment. More wiseass as my brain permits.

-Tremendous

[Saintspirit]

At dakkadakka there was this "He was the most interesting Commissar ever"-topic.

Slaanesh tells him "Not tonight, I have a headache". He doesn't care about that.

[LAV-Kitsune-]

Bad pun time!

"Your momm is so fat that she uses light lore to lose weight."
"They do not use Viagra in Empire, they have awakening the wood and flesh to stone"

"Dad, it followed me home, can I keep it?" Plaguebearer to GuO when it found a beast of Nurgle. One happy family.

In grim dark future, Nurgles greatest invention is BaleMachinegun.

Why is Bloodthirster snickering alone in dark corner? He has dark insanity.

USA is land of Chaos. 4 of their latest presidents have been representatives of Nurgle, Slaanesh, Khorne and now Tzeentch.

Why doesnt Masque ever perform in land of Nurgle? Shes afraid that fans would leave a slime trail.


Hmm, I got to try again later when I'm more tired and twisted, these are plain bad ^.^;;;;

[brother_maynard]

i get +1 to hit your mom

[Lord Tremendous]

"Your mom sounds like a Banshee!"

"Anyone ever tell you you look like a new recruit in a VC army?"

"Your so nasty not even a Ghoul would eat your corpse!"

"Oh God, why dont you go jump in a corpse cart?"

-Tremendous

[JonathanC]

That last one especially made me chuckle.

"You're like a Vampire - you suck!"

One for you Blood Bowl fans:
"I've met Hobgoblins smarter than you!"

"He has all the subtelty of a Black Orc....."

and of course:

"Has that Giant got an Orc stuffed down his trousers or is he just pleased to see me?"

[gjnoronh]

http://warhammer-empire.com/library/the-da...e-of-warhammer/