Alternate 8th Edition DoC army book, The definitive Daemon re-write.

Updated page 1 with the new version of the PDF.

I think those changes to the Daemonettes' upgrades are good. I think they are necessary to make them viable next to the other Core choices. Also: We've removed/nerfed some of the most central elements to making a 'monoslaanesh' list competative as things stand.. cutting the 'Nettes some slack seems like a reasonable thing to do.

Here's to hoping JonathanC won't react too strongly on that one. Furious being 1pts/model I'm sure he'll agree with, but I'm not sure about Supernatural Sprint.. *hehe*

Regarding the Palanquin:
I can't imagine it's necessary to explicitly state that the Palanquin is removed from play together with the rider. I could be wrong though, but the way I see it since it's not a Chariot or a Monster it should be pretty clear. (?)

Regarding N'Kari's Revelation of Dark Desires:
You're right RealVeon, those hits are distributed as a Shooting Attack and thus it ought to be obvious that if you take 25% casualties there should be a Panic Test. However, I think the explicit clarification of this (as we have it written now) is probably a good idea anyway because, well, it just seems like one of those issues that would start stupid threads at Warseer really..
'It says distributed as a shooting attack... - Yeah well, it isn't really a shooting attack.. bla bla bla'
The clarification cuts straight to the chase and underlines something that should be clear to anyone. I would keep it.

In that spirit, perhaps it would actually be a good idea to make the same kind of 'obvious statement' about the Palanquin being removed from play if the rider is slain... Let's see if JonathanC comes by later and has something to add on this issue.

Colors
At this point it doesn't seem to matter 'how many' colors is in the PDF. Nobody has asked about it specifically. When it comes to the company that I have decided to use for printing the PDF, I did sent them the previous version of the PDF to look over for reference. I imagine they will hit me back with comments tomorrow afternoon.

Oh.. and no worries about being busy man. I feel I should have been quicker about finding a lead on a printers-company myself. Last week I really didn't get much done I'm afraid.

***************************************************************************
EDIT
TheRealVeon said:

Naturally I shall under no circumstance send it off to the printers before you give me the go-ahead man!
I've been in further contact with the printers this morning though.
I've specified that the front and back page of the printed document is to be 'laminated' (i.e. glossy, whatever you call it), and the paper used inside the document is of higher quality compared to normal paper.

When looking at the dokument they noted that page 82 (the Summary) will become the 'back' of the dokument unless we add a page 83-84.

Personally I think it will be kind of neat to have the Summary on the back, in glossy/laminated texture so to speak - because this is a playtest document after all. On the other hand, it's not going to be whole lot more expensive to add another page if you feel like RealVeon - so I leave that one up to you.

I also concidered making the 'binding' of the document more like a real Army Book. That would warrant some further work however, as we would have to create a full 'cover sheet' that envelopes the document in 3 dimensions.. argh.. I hope you're getting what I'm trying to say because I would have a hard time explaining this even if it was in Swedish I'm afraid..

Bottom line is this would make it a whole lot more expensive! And while I don't want to be cheap over here it's still a 'playtest-document' and going the extra mile of having it bound like a proper magazine might be 'overdoing it'. (?)

As things stand, it would be bound by a metal spiral.. Which is totally 'meh' compared to the real thing of course.. but again, doing it any other way will require a lot more work and quite a bit more of cash.

I also told them we'd be ready to have it printed within 'days rather than weeks' - do you think that's a fair assessment with regards to the further tweaking you mentioned that you wanted to do? I don't want to stress you, just telling you what I told them in case I should correct myself.

Oh.. and they also noted that the document was made in the American 'Letter' standardized size format. I should have thought of that. I initially told them we wanted it done in the (European) 'A4' Standard:

European A4 is 210x297mm
American Letter is 216x279mm

Anyway.. I just heard back from them (they are awesome quick at responding to my questions btw!) and they have NO problem what-so-ever about doing the print-out in 'Letter'-format so don't worry another second about that!!

The price of the offer (with the metal spiral binding) is almost $100 less than with the fully bound version, too.. So I'm hoping you won't be too put off by that.

That's all for now I believe. I hope everything is good on your end of the globe!

I'm a bit pressed for time (working on a really difficult course assignement), should have posted a reply earlier. I don't mind the 1pt Furious upgrade but I'm not in favour of reducing the cost of Swiftstride. It would make situations like your last game D-Reign where your opponent got off a lot of early charges more the norm than the exception. If you deploy 24" apart and your opponent marches forwards 8" in his first turn, Daemonettes with Sprint deployed opposite them will need to roll a 9 to make the charge. Its still less than 50/50 odds but much improved with Swiftstride. Also, please remember the upgrade includes the cost of giving it to any Heralds in the unit for 'free' essentially. In a game where manouverability is so useful, being able to make longer range charges more relaibly is very advantageous. Add in the increased chance of catching fleeing units and you can start to see how good it is.

It may be its only really worth 1.22589pts or something, but I'd rather err on the side of caution here and price it at 2pts.

As for the printed copies, well if your offering DaemonReign I'd love one of course, providing you aren't putting yourself out too much financially. Roughly £45 a copy (the same cost as the Tamurkhan book) sounds quite pricey though.....

Oh well, only a month off our original deadline - thats quite good as far as most projects go!

Anything I've missed above I'll try to cover later.

This is not the final pdf. I've not changed the cover art nor have a changed the Swiftstride price based on Jonathan's input. I have added a contributor section which lists everyone who's made a comment on this thread. I was originally only going to include the people who had made five or more posts, but there were a few who came in, made one comment that really resonated, and send us off for three or four pages. So it was hard to narrow it down based off of numerical contributions. Also the final list wasn't too long and fit well on the page.

If for some reason you don't want your Daemonic Legion handle listed on this document, which will be sent to GW, please leave a message on this thread saying so.

Anyway, here it is:

http://www.mediafire.com/?7sv3nyby8js1cdn

Lastly, I wanted to clarify my point on the Borne Aloft Nurgling Palanquin rule, and how they, as a mount, are treated. The main rule book on page 104 only lists Cavalry, Monstrous Cavalry, Chariots and Monsters as possible mounts. It then goes through the special rules for those units, saying things like cavalry characters follow all the rules for cavalry.

Since a Palanquin is none of those things, I feel that it's best for clarity to specify that the Palanquin is removed when its mount dies. Otherwise you could have someone, somewhere say, 'That Great Unclean One is on a Palanquin, and this rule says that it remains the same troop type, which is Monster. Does that mean that the Palanquin's troop type is Monster? Does it take a Monster Reaction Test?' Just one sentence would clear this up.

* Added the latest version of the PDF to page 1. Downloading it now, will look at it and comment on that later in this post.

Daemonettes
I'm glad we all agree on the Furious Upgrade being 1 point. It's potentially better than an additional hand-weapon, but statistically it's actually slightly worse - and Daemonettes needing to be cut some slack does it for me in the end: So 1 pt it is!
When it comes to the Supernatural Sprint I was never sure about this. To make a long story short I'm fine with JonathanC's sentiment (as I half expected it to be) on this issue, so let's keep the Supernatural Sprint at 2pts/model.
Perhaps this will make these upgrades more 'niched' - as in: Furious being 'viable' as an upgrade on Hordes while Supernatural Sprint is something you'd get for those smaller flanking forces etcetera.
It's also true that it incporporates the Herald (which is necessary too) and yes in the end it's probably best to apply caution. So 2pts/model is fine.

The Palanquin
I have nothing inherently against your argument RealVeon. Let me first say that clearly. I can see no harm in adding a sentence that clarifies that the Palanquin is removed from play if the rider is slain/removed from play.
However, before applying this change: Let's look at the Palanquin in the Skaven Book that works exactly like ours does (with the exception that there's no Monster that can ride it in the Skaven Book, of course).
What I am essentially getting is simply 'What To Write?'
How would you word it?
"Note that while any Character mounted on a Palanquin of Nurgle remains the same troop-type as if not mounted, the Palanquin itself follows all the normal rules for Cavalry."
-- Clearly this would be a mess because suddenly the Palanquin would have to take Dangerous Terrain Tests just like normal Horses do... Or perhaps that isn't 'a mess' (quite fluffy actually) but still..
"The Palanquin of Nurgle is a Cavalry mount but the model is concidered to be the same troop-type as listed on the rider's profile."
That would perhaps cover it? Or do you have something better in mind already?
So as far as I am concerned: Yes, add a sentence that makes it clear! Better safe than sorry!
I must say that I personally wouldn't have thought in a million years that the Palanquin would remain on the field if the rider is slain, but yeah one should never underestimate the power of rules-lawyering.

The Print Out
Yes it's gonna cost a little bit of money, sure. But I think we're worth it. One copy for Jervis and one each for the 3 of us that's realized this project. I would have liked to make a copy for everyone who's contributed but that's where my wallet would have begun to hurt I'm afraid. One of my friends is probably gonna plug the whole thing into Army Builder too, and I reckon I'll be using this book instead of the 'real' one from now on.

The Latest Version of the PDF
That looks great! Good inititative to list all the contributors. What I would actually suggest is to put that list on page 84 however.
That would then become the 'back' of the 'book', where-as when you open the first page you'll have the disclaimer on one page and the table of contents directly across the page.
Following my reasoning here? No big deal of course, just something that struck me when I saw it that's all.

Oh.. and what about those slight errors in page-referencing that we experienced earlier? Isn't adding more pages going to 'confuse' some of those page-references once more?!

Here's the (hopefully) final pdf:

http://www.mediafire.com/?4wn4uz19omd9lm9

I still wouldn't go out and print this one off right away. I would still like to print off the cover and some other pages to make sure all the colors are working fine. Once I do that and make any necessary tweaks, it should be good to go.

Speaking of test prints, you should try to ask the printers if they could run off a page or two just to see how the final product will look. If anything is really off or too dark, or unclear, then let me know and I'll try to fix it.

And as for the cross-references, they are supposed to auto-update even when you put in new pages, so they should be fine.

*Updated page 1 as usual.

Now I'm suddenly having the same 'trouble' downloading as others have mentioned before from time to time.. I'm sure it'll sort itself out after a few tries, but at the moment ... oh there we go.. 2 minutes download time.. *haha*

Getting the Colors Right In Print
I'll talk to the printers on Monday and ask them about their routines. Basically I feel like I have a rather good conversation going with one of the guys over there, he's been really informative and forthcoming.. So at this point I'm assuming he's not a complete ass.. meaning that he'll look at the PDF and compare it to a test-print and if anything is off he'll sound the alarm. That sort of thing.

Generally speaking, aside of commenting that the PDF was made in the American 'Letter' standard there didn't seem to be any questions what-so-ever about printing it out. The guy just told me to get in touch when we had the final document ready and that would be the end of it.

I think you have more experience and 'know-how' about this compared to me though RealVeon, so if this issue goes beyond 'common sense' (as I described above: of course the printed pages should look like the PDF document!) then that will have to be sorted. Meaning I'd physically have to go to the printers when they run a test.. Or have them print a couple of pages and send over. If you think it's necessary I'll set something like that up, just tell me what to do.

Looking at the New PDF
Had a quick look at it and couldn't spot any differences to that last one. *haha* I know, I know, I think I know at what level you're 'fixing' stuff at this point and I'm sure it's a good thing too.. Nothing an untechnical being like myself would spot though.

The Palanquin Issue
I was almost expecting you to have added wording with regards to this issue that you brought up [removed from play when rider is slain]. But I can't find anything in the Bestiary entry on page 23 or in the army list section. Did you decide it wasn't a problem after all?

It's a shame JonathanC haven't given us his two cents yet on this issue. Personally I still feel it would be very far-fetched for people to misunderstand that Palanquin as we have written it - it's not a "brand new" unit after all, people ought to know how it works, and I really can't see how letting the GUO have this "mount option" would change that. But yes, we've been over this before.. No harm in clarifying things beyond any reasonable doubt.

Another Rules-Issue That's Been Bugging Me
I've been thinking about the Eye of Tzeentch lately and specifically the 'Conduit of Magic' Special Rule:
How does this Special Rule mesh with the four basic restrictions of casting spells?
As it is currently written:

The Eye can be used as a conduit for casting spells by any friendly Wizard with the Daemonic (Tzeentch) special rule within 12". When casting a spell, measure range and line of sight from the Eye as if it were the caster. If the Wizard casts the spell with Irresistible Force, he suff ers the miscast effect as normal, while the Eye suffers an automatic wound with no saves of any kind allowed and may not be used as a conduit for the rest of the Magic phase.

Ok, so let's say I have an Eye of Tzeentch that is in combat and a few inches behind it I have a Tzeentch Herald that wants to cast Flickering Fire using the Eye as a Conduit - I'm sure at this point you guys are seeing what I am getting at:
Flickering Fires is a Magic Missile so can't be cast if engaged in close combat, and cannot be cast at a unit that is engaged in close combat either.
But the Conduit of Magic [Special Rule] doesn't cover this, and creates a kind of loop-hole in the process.

Doesn't it?

I know that the Special Rules says 'measure range and line of sight from the Eye as if it were the caster.' and perhaps this is enough to make it clear that any casting restrictions that 'would apply to the wizard' also applies to the Eye - I just want you guys to concider it. It's up there with the Palanquin-issue that TheRealVeon brought up earlier - something that ought to be obvious, but - is it??

Because it seems to me that while you couldn't cast a Magic Missile at a unit that is engaged in combat (using the Eye as Conduit), the current wording of the Conduit of Magic Special would allow you to use an Eye of Tzeentch that is engaged in Close Combat to cast a Magic Missile at another unit that is not. (!)

I just worry it would require a FAQ clarification as we have it written now..

Finally
I notice in the PDF that you decided to keep the list of contributors at the beginning of the document. Now.. I still don't think this is a big deal, but my suggestion of moving that "list" to the very last page of the document still stands for the reason(s) I stated in my previous post.

* I think that's all I have at the moment. But as per usual Daemonreign-rules I will edit this post should anything surface that has presently slipped my mind.

EDIT
I did edit my post a little bit just now, with regards to the Eye of Tzeentch Issue. I also noticed that theRealVeon has indeed corrected the cost of Supernatural Sprint to 2pts/model for Daemonettes!

Downloaded the pdf just fine. Looks good so far but if I find anything to correct I'll let you know. I'd be surprised if there is any mistakes in it though after going through so many edits.

When it comes to the Palanquin I didn't mention anything before as I think it should be obvious it should be removed with the rider when he dies. However, seeing what RealVeon has said I can see how it could be misinterpreted so it might be a good idea to add something along the lines of:

Note: whilst the Palanquin is not a normal cavalry mount it is still removed when its rider dies as normal.

Something along those lines anyway.

As for the Eye, it should be obvious if the Eye "counts as the caster", although if it was ruled the other way by an FAQ I wouldn't necessarily see it as a problem.

As for the list of contributors, I had that in the word doc we were using so I aprove of this, although I mainly kept it to people who had repeatedly taken an interest and made contributions that were included, or prompted something that was included. I guess including everyone is less likely to upset anyone. I'f prefer to keep the list where it is so the Summary can be on the back page (since the pdf doesn't have a back cover). If it did have an army book style back cover then I guess that would be one place the list of contributors could go.

Finally, I've almost finished painting up my Eye of Tzeentch mock-up, hopefully I'll be able to get a picture of it up here tomorrow. I assume DaemonReign is still planning to include photos of some of the stuff from around the forum that looks like it could represent new stuff in our re-write, like his Battle-hardened Bloodletters and the pictures on p1.

I guess I could have expanded on what I meant a bit more.

As for the printers, I've often found that when I print something, the colors seem a bit different from what I was expecting. For example, on the cover, I had to darken the Bloodletter's skin gradient because the first version looked like it was all the same color. On my monitor I could see that it went from dark to light, but when I printed it out, the difference in shades was too slight to pick up on. Another thing happened with almost all the Nurgle portraits. All the skin tones were way too dark and the dripping background didn't show up at all. But on the screen it looked fine.

Those are the types of things I'm talking about. But if these guys are professionals, they are probably used to it and know how to handle such things. DaemonReign, you make it sound like you'd have to travel a bit or have sample pages sent to you, and that would probably be more than is necessary just for this project. I thought this may be a business in town which you could drop by on the way to work or something. If not that's fine. It really depends on how much of a hassle it would be to get the pages to see them (and how much the final price will be).

One thing you can as them: would they prefer to print from the pdf or would they like the original Adobe InDesign documents. If they want the originals, they'll also need all the Adobe Illustrator images, all the fonts and the files themselves are organized in a Book format, so make sure you tell them that when you ask them. I can bundle all of those things up and put them online like the pdf, but they'll be responsible for integrating them on their end.

Other things...

I think the rules for the Eye are pretty clear, but I could add a little bit after the as if it were the caster to say something like following all the normal rules for casting spells. That would pretty much clear everything up, right?

I'll make the changes to the Palanquin now that Jonathan has chimed in.

As for the contributors, I like where they are now. It's partly because the summary is on the back, and also it maintains the page layout. It's not very clear on the screen, but the pages are laid out in an open book format. So some things are meant to be on the left page and others on the right. The easiest way to see this is too look at the page numbers which are always on the "outside" of the page. It will be much clearer when it's printed out. Removing that page of contributors would make all the pages after it realign, so right pages would become left pages and vice versa. Then I'd have to move everything around which would add a lot of time. So adding even numbers of pages if far easier than adding odd.

Finally, I did add more fluff to the Battle Standard Bearer icons (universal and the four for each god) so you can check those out for any errors. I just wanted to fill out the pages a bit more so they aren't quite so empty.

The Eye of Tzeentch

First of all, that's awesome JonathanC I can't wait to see the finnished model!

With regards to the Conduit of Magic Special Rule I think we have two options now that I've thought it over:
1 - We do it 'your way' (i.e. what you guys are discussing in your last posts), which would mean adding a wording that says that the Eye 'counts as the caster for the purpose of determining range and any restrictions (Line of Sight etcetera) that may be relevant)' - this seems like a perfectly viable solution.
edit - Or along the lines of the wording that you exemplify RealVeon! That works just as well of course!
2 - The other idea I have is to simply say:

While not engaged in Close Combat the Eye can be used as a conduit for casting spells by any friendly Wizard with the Daemonic (Tzeentch) special rule...

This, at first glance, would of course make the Conduit-ability a bit less versatile, which could perhaps prompt a decrease in the total cost of the model. At the same time; a merge of option 1 and 2 would give us the quite peculiar ability to a Tzeentch Caster to cast Magic Missiles/Direct Damage from combat by using an un-engaged Eye of Tzeentch as Conduit. (!)

All right, I know what you're gonna say: I'm overthinking things getting carried away as usual. And by the way I agree with you JonathanC that it wouldn't be a problem [at all] if a FAQ resolved this issue in 'any-which-way' - my only reason for bringing this bit up was that it should be our ambition to reduce the need for any FAQ:ing as much as we can possibly muster.

After this long exposé of blabbering I guess Option 1 is the way to go!

Pictures Included
Yes we should do this. Especially now that JonathanC have contributed with a painted Eye of Tzeentch model! I will make it a separate appendix, printed out with a good old-fashioned color printer with high resolution. Hm.. Let's see what we can add there:
- JonathanC's Eye of Tzeentch.
- My Battle-Hardened Bloodletters
- My 'out of scale' Behemoth of Khorne (?)

Beyond those all we really have are a handfull of images that I have scavenged from the interwebz. We're talking "Flamers of Discs" and not much else as far as I can remember..

I have, by the way, collected the necessary bits for making 2 Slaanesh Chariots (with variable magnetized crew herald/2 'Nettes) and another Burning Chariot (magnetized Flamers and/or Horrors or Herald) but save for some green-stuff modelling on that Burning Chariot these projects are still pretty much on the idea-stage alas.

So at this point I'd say that there's no harm in sending along what little pictures have that are worth showing, and then perhaps when our playtest-run is complete we can add another set of pictures (of whatever we might have put together at that point).

I've been thinking hard on how to make a Phantasm of Slaanesh, but I can't seem to find a suitable "snake-body" to base it on - everything I've seen is either too small or too big, and I don't want to use the TK Snake Surfers because the Phantasm should remind us as little as possible of those IMO.

The Contributors Page
I understand RealVeon. That's a lot of work re-arranging every single page just to make the Contributors Page end up at the back of the volume. I agree it's not important enough for us (you) to bother with that!

Printing/Production
I will talk to the printers company on Monday. They are certainly proffessional and so far my correspondance with them has been great so I have high hopes of leaving the actual production to their 'common sense'.

They are not located at walking distance or on the way to my deadbeat job I'm afraid. It's not a question of money or ambition really, but let me just talk to them first and measure their stated self-confidence in terms of making a hard-copy that will look just as nice as the PDF.

Making a mental note of your question (to them) with regards to the InDesign files. My impression so far has been that they are totally fine/confident about simply printing directly from the PDF though.

Added Fluff for the BSBs
I forgot to check this before making this post. But it's remembered now. I will return with an edit in case I find anything out of order with that!

The Eye - option 1 as you say DaemonReign!

Also, I'll just leave these here for now......

That's very cool JonathanC. Quite nice job you've done with the iris there! I also have to take this opportunity to say that I think it's a great initiative that you choose to make a 'showcase' conceptual model for the Eye of Tzeentch (out of all our new units) - because it is perhaps the most difficult model to explain in words..
And it's also perhaps the most 'interesting' idea for a new Daemonic unit that we've got - so yeah, a very good inititative!

I was here like an hour ago and updated page 1 to include direct links to these two picks you've posted here. At the time I was in the middle of prepping dinner with the missus so I wasn't allowed to type anything.. thus the delay in my response, in case you wondered.

And yeah, as long as we're sure that the Conduit of Magic Special Rule isn't going to immediately become the same kind of FAQing mess that Steadfast Detachments have become with the new Empire Book I'm happy with any resolution.

Thanks, I was rather pleased with how the iris turned out too, although I'm wondering if I should have cleared my painting table up a bit more before taking the photos.....

Long before I thought of making the mock-up for the Eye, I was planning to convert a Phantasm using a TK Necropolis Knight, Minotaur body and head, plus 4 claw arms from 'somewhere', however I never got around to it as it would have cost a bit to get the necessary parts together. The Eye has the advantage though of being made from card and a paperclip, so was a lot cheaper! If I was to do it again though I'd replace the flat circualr Eye in the middle for a table tennis ball to give it a more 3D look, which would also make it easier to mount on a conventional flying stand and chariot base (which could be swapped for a large round base for 40k).

And I totally get what you are saying about it being trickier to explain as a concept, which was why I drew that picture ages ago to help visualise it for everyone.

Been looking at page 1 and noticed in the 40k section Pox Riders are still called Plague Riders, the original name we had for the unit. This should probably be ammended to bring it into line with their WFB equivalents. Will also take a look at the designers notes again to see if I have anything to add to them.

- Changed Plague Riders to Pox Riders in the 40k section.
- You'll find some spelling errors in the Designer's Notes for sure. I haven't got to that yet. It's great if you help me out of course.

I guess the TK Snakes could have worked as a conversion-basis for the Phantasm. I'd almost rather model them from scratch though.. which is my 'reason' for never getting around to it I guess.. hehe

Well here is some more stuff on the designers notes, carrying on from where I last left off.

Table of Contents

Appendix A
This is the actual re-write. Presented in PDF-format mimicking an actual army book.

Appendix B - The 'Legion Lords'
In past incarnations of Chaos there have been Exalted Daemons, characters that were a middle-ground between Heralds and a Daemon Prince. We analysed the possibility of reintroducing something like this in the form of Infantry Lords to the Daemonic repertoir, which we named 'Legion Lords.'

This board was divided over the pro's, con's, and possible constingencies of adding a Lord choice (effectively bridging the gap between the Daemon Prince and Heralds) with the ability to join units. We decided not to include these Legion Lords in the actual re-write, but our drafts for what we envisioned can be viewed here as a reference.

It should be noted that after dropping the idea of these Legion Lords we made a lot of changes to the Daemon Prince that arguably makes the inclusion of Legion Lords obsolete. In essence, their inclusion would probably necessitate the Daemon Prince becoming more powerful and with a higher points cost to differenstiate it from these new Lord choices.

Appendix C - Warhammer 40,000 Codex: Chaos Daemons
This project has been focused on the Warhammer Fantasy Battles Daemons of Chaos, but consideration was naturally paid to the application of our suggestions in the 40k setting. Appendix C therefore presents a rough draft adressing how units like (for example) the Phantasm and Behemoth/Skullshrine could operate in Warhammer 40,000. It should be noted that, unlike our Fantasy Section, we have no immediate plans to playtest in Warhammer 40,000.

Appendix D - Review of Playtesting for Warhammer Fantasy
As we submit this project to Games Workshop we have already started playtesting the contents of Appendix A. This has already led to minor changes to details (implemented in the first draft sent to Games Workshop) and will no doubt generate further changes down the line. Appendix D will be a separate submission at a later point, not included in the initial package sent to Games Workshop.

Commentary on Appendix A - The Re-write

CORE UNITS
Plague Toads have been added here, using rules fairly identical to the experimental rules provided by Forge World prior to the Tamurkhan release.
The already existing Core units have received minor changes to points costs where appropriate, and each unit has been endowed with two optional upgrades each.

SPECIAL UNITS
This section has grown considerably compared to our current army book. We have reintroduced Chariots for Khorne, Slaanesh and Tzeentch as independent units, and Furies, Fiends and Bloodcrushers have been moved to this section.
------------------------------------------------------

Mostly just some spelling and grammar corrections, plus the Appendix B descriptive text has been rearranged a fair bit. I've also removed almost all the 'quotation marks' as very few of them were actually necessary. I'll try and cover the rest soon.

* I added JonathanC's latest clean-up (above post) to the Designer's Notes, as well as doing a couple of random little fixes myself. Most notably I added another Appendix-heading which is to include the pictures/concepts that we have gathered throughout this project.

Sitting here reading the additional text that RealVeon has added with regards to the Daemonic Icons and Battle Standards. I do have a couple of comments, but over-all it's looking great (as usual) so most of them I guess you could say are merely nit-picking and if you feel like disregarding my suggested edits I'm not going to be grumpy about it.

Page 62 -

First paragraph reads:

Standard Bearers may only choose one of the Icons of the Chaos God indicated in their Daemonic special rule. For example, a Daemonette Standard Bearer with the Daemonic (Slaanesh) special rule may only take one of the Icons of Slaanesh. These are all listed on the following pages.

I would write:
Standard Bearers may choose one of the Icons listed on the following pages indicated by their Daemonic special rule. For example, a Daemon with the Daemonic (Slaanesh) special rule may only take one of the Icons of Slaanesh.

Second Paragraph reads:

A Herald who is the Battle Standard Bearer may choose one of the Battle Standard Icons on this page. They may also take any of the Icons associated with the god indicated in their Daemonic special rule, as listed on the following pages, as long as the army’s general also has the same god indicated in their Daemonic special rule.

- The part which I have emboldened/underscored seems superflous to me - I would simply delete that bit and keep the rest!

Standard of Chaos Glory:
The last sentence of the fluff-text reads:
This grand icon helps the horde sustain their forms despite great damage which would otherwise banish them back to their eternal domain.

I would swap this sentence for something like this:
Thus, engaging Daemons in proximity of this terrible icon is almost akin to facing them in the very dimensions of the Warp from which they have manifested!

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It's all beautifully written as far as I am concerned!

The only thing I will point out is that the fluff-text for the Banner of Intoxication (while being a really nice piece of writing by itself) seems a bit 'unassociated' with the actual 'mechanic' of that specific Icon... Again, this is really nit-picking, and the fluff-text you've written about Patrick Schröter is just awesome, so I don't want to change that [at all!] but yeah the 'jump' from the fluff-text to the simple statement of 'b2b enemy is never steadfast' looks a little 'forced' to me at this point..
Below is an attempt of mine to 'sync' the fluff-text with the mechanic, as it were:
*My changes/additions are underscored!*

Patrick Schröter, a popular nobleman who lived on the banks of the River Aver, once claimed that his vineyards produced the finest wine in all the Empire. Th is boast soon created jealousy in his competitors and so to maintain his prominence, he hired the finest sommeliers from across the Old World to come and improve his wines. One of these experts was actually a Herald of Slaanesh in disguise, and her formula quickly became the most popular at Schröter’s estate. One night, while the house slept, this Herald crept down to the vats and dipped a massive banner within her creation. This Banner of Intoxication still drips with the wine to this day and any who face a daemon carrying it will experience drunkeness and confusion from its mere scent, let alone its ravishing taste!

Something like that.. I really feel like a douche commenting on your great writing to be honest, but I hope you see what I'm getting at with this minute change of the wording!

The rest is all great as far as I am concerned. As always a pure undivided pleasure to read it!