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Sorry for not responding earlier, interesting Prologue, certainly throws a new slant on it, I assume there's a reason in there for this being moved to the Fantasy section rather than the realistic (where the previous version was) You were a bit further on plotwise in the last incarnation, some more changes in store there I presume?
It's good, nice dialogue and internal thoughts, would help to do double carriage returns between paragraphs before you copy and paste it over, otherwise everything gets bunched up and less comfortable to read.
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