Title: In regard to recent events...
Santana I. Lopez - July 9, 2010 02:25 AM (GMT)
I have something that I need to address. Too many things are getting blown far out of proportion, and it's making the site become more and more unrealistic. A lot of sensitive issues have been brought up in roleplay (well, actually in the IC but for this time we're going to consider that RP) that are being carelessly glossed over with no in depth explanation or character development. For example, three different issues have been brought up recently that have raised some red flags: suicide, debate over sexual identity, and depression. While I haven't had to deal with these three things directly on my own, I have had enough contact with them indirectly to know a good deal about them. Because of this knowledge, I have noticed that these things are being taken too lightly. It seems as though they're being used to create unnecessary drama on the site, and it's uncalled for. These are very important issues that if they are to be discussed or used by a character, should be done justice. This morning, particularly with suicide, I brought up the fact that if a person was to attempt suicide, they would be submitted to a full, 100% closed off inpaitent facility for an extended period of time. At the same time, any person who was to say they were going to kill themselves in a chat room of people that they some what know, such a comment wouldn't be taken lightly. There would be a reaction. Looking at this, I see it as a massive attempt at gaining attention. It is uncalled for.
The same has occurred with sexuality. I lived through this. I know how difficult it is for someone to come to terms with their sexuality. To get the courage to come out to those closest to them, and have to deal with the aftermath of that. It feels unfair to me to simply make all the effort of 1) keeping your sexuality secret, then 2) coming out carefully, 3) finding the comfort in yourself to identify yourself as gay, and then out of nowhere 4) suddenly doubt that again because your relationship ended. Being gay is not a choice. It's really bothered me that it has been flipped back and forth. If the character was bisexual, then I could sympathize a bit more… but when site specified information states that the character is GAY… that to me is law. There should be no debate.
As for being 'clincally depressed', it takes MONTHS … sometimes YEARS… of therapy for a doctor to declare someone clinically depressed. No therapist will prescribe antidepressants for a patient after one meeting, especially after one meeting right after a break up. To simply toss around the term 'depressed' really bugs me as well. This is not an issue to be taken lightly.
Now, I don't have any problems with these issues (or any similar ones for the record) being used, as long as they are portrayed fairly and accurately. In fact, I would quite enjoy that. It would be nice to see someone attempting to assimilate to a culture like Lima's going through depression. It just needs to be played out the right way, and at this point.. none of these issues have done that.
Maybe it's just me, but it seems as though these issues are being piled upon to make a character appear more dramatic. It doesn't do that. It makes them appear unrealistic, and is a really big turn off to other roleplayers. I, personally, don't want to deal with a character who is constantly whining. Because if I do, I'd be doing damage control and the only character development that would be occurring would be for the other character… and chances are it wouldn't even be paid attention to.
I'm sorry if I've singled out or offended any one with this, but I'm honestly fed up. I'm fed up and offended, and extremely turned off by this right now. If anyone has any questions or concerns, or want help at doing a more accurate portrayal of a character with a specific issue, please don't hesistate to contact me. I'm really good at doing research if I haven't lived through something. I just really want to keep things smart, realistic, and fun and if this continues without being addressed, it won't be like that for me.
Mally - July 9, 2010 03:26 AM (GMT)
I am basically just going to echo Jackie's words here, but I thought it would be beneficial for you guys to see it, just to clear the air on whether I agree or not.
The in-character chatbox has seemed to once again be the cause of the trouble of too much, too fast, please don't make me do something like take it away because you guys are using it too wildly. I keep seeing mention of things happening in the ICC, large things, in threads and the like and… and slow it down. The ICC moves at too fast a pace for you to be bringing that stuff over into threads so quickly. The threads should dictate the ICC more than the other way around, by far. And as I mentioned in the last announcement about the ICC, without proper threading, this place will die because you're all too concerned about playing in a chatbox all day instead of doing what we're all really supposed to be here for.
The dramatics need to come to a bit of a slow down, to say the least. It's hard to have fun on a site that's such a downer all the time, and exhausting to keep up with it. It tends to be even more exhausting playing damage control, as Jackie said. If just a few people are the constant attentiongrabbers because they're always doing something dramatic, it makes everyone around them nothing more than props to fawn over them and try to cheer them up or solve the crisis of the week, when they could be doing something for themselves plottingwise instead.
Like Jackie I have also struggled with sexuality and I can say it's not generally a fast process that just snaps back and forth. Hiding your sexuality becomes some ingrained thing, and the process of outing is often a long and hard road; I'm 22 and I still haven't due to the inevitable backlashing I know waits for me. It's hard.
On the subject of depression, I know for a fact it can often take years and years to be diagnosed with it, much less given medication for it. Doctors are especially very hesitant to give medication to children under the age of 18, as well. They will make you make lifestyle changes first, and do all sorts of things to keep a kid off antidepressants.
Likewise, I have a cousin who overdosed herself on drugs and they put her in a facility thinking she'd been trying to kill herself; these sorts of things are not things to just throw into a roleplay without much thought on the consequences of it. To this day the mistakes she made at that age, 5 years later, show up and effect her life in bad ways.
Like Jackie I do not have a problem with playing out any of these issues on their own. But care should be taken with a serious subject to do it justice, otherwise it falls flat and unbelievable. Basically; research is your friend, and please think before you make your drama plots. You will, in the end, come out with something richer and more believable if you do. And if you take your time with it, it will also be far more rewarding for the effort that you put into it.
Not everyone needs to have so much drama in their lives all the time. It does, in fact, become tiresome. It takes a lot more to care about a character who has a new dramatic plot every other week than it does to develop deep feelings for one who moves a bit slower, giving plots time to blossom and grow. When things move too fast, it becomes a question of "why should I care when I know it wont matter in a few days anyway?" for other people. It is all of the time spent watching a character grow that makes someone care about the end result of movies and books; roleplay is no different. Or, it shouldn't be, for maximum effect.
Tyler J. Utkin - July 9, 2010 03:37 AM (GMT)
Okay I'm going to start off by saying I know this is surrounding me and tyler for the most part. I'm pulling out of everything going on in tyler's life except the break up. But everything else is no longer in existance. I am threading things out that happen in the IC more recently and am slowing everything down. So you won't have to deal with any more drama coming from tyler except the break up.
Loren J. Ericson - July 9, 2010 04:01 AM (GMT)
You have to be the most amazing admins I have ever come across.
I applaud you for having the inner strength to relate to a bunch of people you barely know what you've experienced (or haven't) in relation to some of the things that happen online.
You're absolutely right, these are three very very serious issues that shouldn't just be played around with. Having had personal experience with both the depression thing and the suicide thing, I know for a fact that is a long, heartbreaking not nearly as dramatic as we make it look on here.
On the whole sexuality thing, while i can't directly relate, I've been the friend of quite a few people who had a sexual identity crisis (i use this phrase in lack of a better option) and no, it's not an easy thing to endure at all.
So yes, you guys are right, we should be more careful. Lots more careful.
This is supposed to be a fun game, and Jackie's absolutely right that it won't remain that way if we keep playing recklessly with something that is very very serious.
So, thumbs up to you two, for making us all aware.
Derek S. Love - July 9, 2010 10:33 AM (GMT)
So I saw this and I think I am going to basically throw my two cents in.
So, on terms of clinically depressed, yes, I do actually have someone that is directly related to me that is clincially depreesed. That being my older brother. He just sits in his room all day and basically has no life. He doesnt do a thing at all. It actually scares me. He does play WoW but he really just doesnt seem happy at all. He is suffering with depression and a nasty temper issue, as well as anxiety and I am pretty sure, he is also suicidal. So yeah, that is what I got to deal with.
In terms of sexuality..... What they said is all correct. Mal and Jackie that is. Currently, I am still battling with my own sexuality. Im not afraid to admit it one bit. I am actually on the fence when it comes to it. Im not sure if I am Straight or Bisexual. I mean, right now, I am dating a girl but there are some guys that flirt with me and I do flirt back somewhat I guess. Anyway, Im getting sidetracked. Personally, I will never tell my family because of what my mom is like. My mom said and I quote "If you turn out to be Gay, I will lock you in a closet until you turn straight" Yes, that bad, I mean it sucks, it really does, having to actually hide who you are. To be honest though, I can live without my mom knowing that I am on the fence with my sexuality I suppose. Though it is a process that cant just be blown through. Seriously, you cant just be all "IM GAY" all of the sudden and then get a positive or consoling answer, its going to take time to actually adjust. I mean, I wont come out to anyone until I get out of my house to be honest. To be honest, One of my friends know and it brought us closer. Its just something that needs to ferment out there. Think about it before you actually do it to be honest. Its just a hard thing to think about when it comes down to it but it is what it is. You cant change who you are, you cant. No matter how crappy of a hand that you have been dealt, you cant fold this one and then play the next hand. You have to let it ride and see what happens. I mean, you never know, you could find that special one someday. Its all in the cards I suppose.
In terms of RP sense, You cant speed up anything even though you think you can. It just isnt the way things were made. I mean to be honest, you cant blow through plots like they are nothing. I mean, you have to let them grow. YOu have to let them affect more charries and you have to give the others time to actually react. The ICC is meant to be a break from actually posting, not to be lived in cause you dont have any posts to do. I just dont think that you should use it to speed up plots either I suppose. Its just one of my many observations.
I know I am not an admin, but I do want to mention something. GODMODING AND POWERPLAYING. Now I am not naming any names and I have seen this going around on more then one occasion. I really wouldnt be talking about this unless I only saw it once but no, Ive seen this a few times. Godmodding is when Your charrie, is controlling the actions of others without permission. You guys should know by now that you cant do that with out the written (or in this case Typed) consent of the other person. I mean, I would never give someone permission to just go a head and do something to my charrie and let them also decide what is going to happen and the after affects. That is just too much power for a roleplayer to have. I am just throwing it out there that people should watch out for it. I dont think it is cool to be honest.
Another thing I want to talk about is MARYSUES AND GARYSTUS. Like I said, Im not an admin but I have noticed this too. (Im quite observant arent I?) anyway, People need to watch out because some charries are beginning to go over to the place of no return. Yes, that place is the world of PERFECT. and lets be honest, No one is perfect. Not one bit. I have notcied that some charries also say they are one thing and then totally say they are not the next second. Say one thing and mean it. Its just simpler to be honest. Im not attacking charries at all. I am just pointing it out so we all can fix it. I know that its hard to catch as well but ASKING is also a nice thing to do. Ive been doing this for 8 years almost and I can spot a MARY SUE/GARY STU anywhere. And it could also just be in something like that history, or Personality. No one has the perfect life and no one has the sparkling personality. No one is perfect. Everyone has there issues, weather they are bad or good, they still have there issues and should be acknowledged.
Anyway, like I said, these are just things I have been noticing thats all. Im not an admin but I think these issues need to be voiced as well. I love Mal, Jackie, and Holly to peices and I think that they are just awsome for sticking to the site and admining the hell out of it. They are all awsome and deserve a round of an applause to be honest. they make the site run and they are all awsome for that.
My Aim is spiderman2351 if you want to talk about it, I can help in anyway to be honest, Im not afraid and I dont bite. If you guys want to discuss anything, Im sure I can be of assistence. Just throwing it out there. Thats all.