Kill a Boss, CARA-style!

This is a topic I ran into on the Secret of Mana board on GameFAQs a while back. And, it fits the style of the CARA well, so, I figured, why not? Anyway, the rules:

1)We start with the first boss in the CARA (Kirby, I guess), and continue on from there as each one is defeated.

3)Look to the seconds-place of your post for damage. The damage is equal to the seconds.

4) :00-:09 does no damage whatsoever.

5) :30 does double-damage. (60)

6) :59 does QUADRUPLE-DAMAGE! (236!)

EDIT: 6.5) No double-posting.

7) Resolve the previous posters attack, including damage done, and make your own.

EX: The boss is Kirby, with 40 HP. Gooper Blooper posted "Mario drops a hammer on Kirby!", with the seconds being :12.

The next poster would do something like the following:

----------------------------------------
"The mallet only hits Kirby's foot

Kirby: 40 - 12 = 28 HP

Pa-patch comes and explodes on Kirby!"
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So, anyway, it seems like Kirby is the best choice for the first boss. Note that, if a boss has <100 HP, multiply its starting HP by 10 to make it interesting.

Kirby: 400 HP

Lord Bob Bree grabs Grubba's Gizmondo and throws it at Kirby!

This looks pretty cool.

SnD hits Kirby with Sandbag as hard as possible.

Kirby: 349

Kirby took a faceful of Sandbag.


Kirby: 298 HP

Mad Steve pulls a chainsaw from out of nowhere, goes completely berserk, and attacks Kirby ferociously!

The 349 is the damage I did. You did 19 damage so...

Kirby: 330 (including my attack and Mad Steves attack)

Kirby takes much cuts from Mad Steve going (Posted Image)!

Kirby: 330

I... throw a rock at him. A BIG rock.

SnD becomes a pirate and attack Kirby with a sword

We in the business call that a "boulder". And the result a "pancake."

Kirby: 330 - 57 = 273 HP

Lord Bob Bree feeds Kirby some Pep Brew!

(SnD, update when you attack, or it doesn't count)

Sorry, forgot to update it.

I drown Kirby in the Mustard of his Doom!

Kirby: 260

Update, meaning: resolve previous poster's attack, update boss's HP, post your own attack.

Fawful takes the Mustard of Doom and flies off.
Kirby:256

An elephant lands on kirby because yes.

Kirby gets swallowed by a rabid octopus.

Kirby: 243

GB: ...This guy not taste so good. *barfs Kirby out*

I think his HP should be

256 - 28 = 228 - 13 = 215

Kirby flies into a wall!

His HP is 183 as SnDs posts don't count because he didn't resolve the atttack.

The wall cracks sending cracks around the whole wherever bringing the celing crashing down.

A chunk of celing hits kirby on the head.

EDIT: Darn it! Benstar posted while I was posting!

The damage got waay messed up somewhere along the line...
(since my last attack)

Kirby: 273 - 24 = 249 - 13 = 236 - 28 = 208 - 13 = 195 - 45 = 150 HP

...Ok, I see where it went wrong. Slicendice, you subtract the previous poster's second in your own post, not your own seconds. And Benstar ignored SnD's post and subtracted damage from my post, even though it wasn't an attack. That clears it up.

Anyway...

The chunk doesn't do too much, do to Kirby's amazing bounciness.

Kirby: 150 - 19 = 131 HP

Lord Bob Bree does a random Bros. Attack with Mario!

SnD: When I say "resolve previous poster's attack", I don't mean only HP-wise (though only leaving out the HP will really be the cause of me ignoring your post). I also mean something like "And the wall comes out in a much better condition than Kirby did." Just to clear things up.

Um..I confused.
Mario also becoms confused and misses kirby completely.Nice going.

Kirby:131

Ultros (sig picture guy octopus thing) yells GAME OVER! at Kirby causing much damage somehow.

Benstar: 4) :00-:09 does no damage whatsoever.

Ultros's supersonic voice blows Kirby's ear drums to bits!

Kirby: 131- 57 = 74 HP

Lord Bob Bree bites Kirby!

You bit off Kirbys ear!

74-45= 29

I do something painful to Kirby!

Kirby gets hurt!

Kirby:12

A thwomp crashes down on kirby almost killing him.

Finish Him!

It only hits his pinky.

12-10=2

I use Monocle Beam!

Kirby is beaten!

Kirpy:-38

New Boss: Rawk Hawk - 300 HP (I think...)

Lord Bob Bree grabs a rafter and shakes it!

Some junk and a hammer falls off the rafter. The hammer hits RH in the head.

Rawk Hawk: 278 HP

A GIANT ENEMY CRAB falls down and attacks Rawk Hawk!

The crab attacks for MASSIVE DAMAGE! (darn fad...)

Rawk Hawk: 278 - 56 = 222 HP

Lord Bob Bree burrows underground!

Lord Bob Bree comes back up under Rawk Hawk! Super effective!

222-33=189

I shoot tons of water forms at Rawk Hawk!

Rawk Hawk can't handle the Water Forms. It's too..waterey.

Rawk Hawk: 154

I talk about x-stats in front of Rawk Hawk!

Rawk Hawk is too stupid to understand them (BTW what are they?)

154-17=137

I throw a Bulky Bob-omb at Rawk Hawk.

It explodes and does a lot of damage. Sounds normal.

Rawk Hawk: 85

I throw a Bob-Ulk at Rawk Hawk.

Anyways, x-stats are stats about each character in the GameFAQs contest. The x-stats show how much percent you'll get on the winner of the contest. Of coure, they usually don't help. (Knuckles > Magus, Pac-Man > Ocelot, Mario > Samus etc.)

The Bob-Ulk explodes, doing a good amount of damage.

32 HP

I shout "OBJECTION!".

Pika025 reveals that Rawk Hawk uses illegal steroids! He is swarmed by angry fans, and pummeled to death!

32 - 39 = Dead!

Next Boss: Macho Grubba - 600 HP

Lord Bob Bree steals Macho Grubba's Game Gear!

Macho Grubbas faints from loss of Game Gear.

600-30=570

I throw Kirby at Macho Grubba.