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 HIGHER HIGHS, LOWER LOWS ;;, tag, zuko, you're it!
Katara
Posted: Aug 22 2010, 03:45 PM


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Group: WATER TRIBE
Posts: 24
Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up..
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
1385
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
holy crap, this is long... and rambly... i hope it's okay though XDDD ahaha. sorry if most of it doesn't make sensse, i'm sick and my brain is scattered all over the place. but i wanted to get his up /because i can't wait to get this plot started/ :DDDD
there was something very cliche about traveling down to the beach, to pay the peace, which seemed to dominate the beach, a visit. but then again, if you already were at the beach.. was it that odd? it felt almost wrong to break away from the rest of the gaang, with the little addition of mai, in order to try and find some peace so she could admire her surroundings, but katara did it anyway. despite it feeling wrong, to just leave them at their little camp on the beach, without really saying a word about where she was going or why, there was also something very content about the decision of doing it.. something very peaceful and right, which set her mind into a state of comatose - obviously, it was not literal comatose.. that would mean she'd be unconscious.. her mind had just been working overtime, ever since she and sokka had arrived to ember island, and by getting away from it all it seemed like it could finally relax and sort of slip into a state of unconsciousness. for the past few days, she had spent her days playing with her friends - non-stop. they had been at the beach and such much of the time, and had really had a blast. it was wonderful to be reunited with her friends, and not have to worry as much about what was going on in the world at the moment (even though those thoughts were still a great hazard, at the back of her mind and most likely also in all the others minds). it was also nice getting away from home, and the constant reminder of what her life was slowly shaping up to become. she occasionally found herself how the wedding plans were coming along, but would immediately dismiss them as guilt would slowly wash in and invade ever corner of her conscious mind. it wasn't that she didn't like the man she was to marry - he was a wonderful man, very nice and smart and funny.. he made her feel very special. he listened to her and was and understanding and caring man - one she had always imagined herself marrying. marrying him wasn't so bad, and it was the right thing for her tribe. never mind the fact that marrying him would be betraying her heart - helping her tribe came in first priority, she wouldn't be selfish and dismiss the proposal because she was not in love with this man. no. her heart would grow accustomed to the idea that she could not marry the man she loved, for various reasons.. slowly, but surely, it would get used to live without the little piece, which belonged to the mysterious man she loved, of it missing.

as she sat on the sand, staring out at the sunset in front of her - which painted the sky a magical red color - she remembered aunt wu's prediction, which she had made more than two years ago. she'd told her that she would end up marrying a powerful bender.. at that time, she had believed it to be aang (curse sokka's idiotic comments, sometimes he really made her want to face-palm him - but he managed to do that to himself much of the time, so she didn't need to bother herself about that), but had learned that he wasn't the one. she was not in love with him either, but viewed him as a little brother. the mere thought of her being with him felt weird.. it would be like being with sokka, in the whole 'he's-my-brother' way.. not that aang was anything like sokka - they were two different people, aang was sweet and kind and sokka was just an idiot.. who cared about katara, but he was an idiot. when zuko had been hit by azula, in their battle during sozin's comet, katara had thought that he was going to die.. she remembered the loss of hope, which had gathered in her stomach, as nothing had happened when she'd made an attempt of healing his wounds. then, when he had opened his eyes and spoken to her - thanking her - she had felt so full of life and had begun to cry. the feelings were so intense and alive.. they weren't feelings you'd normally feel for a friend, and it puzzled her. for a long time she had gone, wondering if zuko could have been the bender aunt wu had predicted she would eventually marry and have babies with (he was powerful as well.. just because it took time for him to master firebending, doesn't mean that he isn't).. then he got engaged, and she figured she was just being silly. she made herself think that she had felt the same kind of emotions, as she had seen aang die and revive from the dead.. she fooled herself into thinking that she could absolutely not feel anything stronger for zuko than simple friendship. very strong friendship.. but nothing more than that. and then she got engaged.. and came to visit ember island.. and things just went tumbling down again, as she found herself questioning her happiness. she couldn't see her future - the one aunt wu had predicted for her, the one she believed in and wanted to hold onto so much - with the man she was engaged to be married to.. and she felt like she was betraying everyone (mai especially) by even thinking that there was a possibility that zuko might have been the man in the prediction.

with her chin propped on her knees and her hands wrapped around her legs, she'd closed her eyes and shooed any thought regarding the topic from her mind. no - she was here to clean her mind, not to try and figure out what in the world was going on in her love life at the moment (her very complicated, miserable love life, on that note), she was already dealing with it every day, having zuko around her all day. besides.. she'd broken away from the group in order to try and get her mind cleared right? - she was literally almost going insane by now, and really needed it. she just needed to have her mind cleared, so she would not break down in front of them and spill all of her well-bottled-up thoughts and secrets. one hour or so, and she would be ready to return and play her normal self with the others.. including zuko, if he would act a little normal himself. the guy acted just as weirdly as she would if she'd let herself, and it made her wonder if he was suspecting anything. wow, that would be bad. mentally slapping herself over the wrist, she reminded herself not to think about it and inhaled deeply. she sat there a few moments, just listening to the waves crashing unto the shore where she was sitting, until the sound of someone breathing and kicking to the sand a little to hard interrupted her. the first reaction of hers was to assume that it was either sokka or aang coming to see what was going on - whereas, if it was sokka that was coming, he would ask her to come make him something to eat or something. she went with that, as it sounded the most plausible. turning around, she began to snap at the person she assumed to be sokka; "if you're here to ask me to make you something to eat then you can.." she stopped mid-sentence, as she realized she was not speaking to sokka.. but to zuko. "oh, erhmm..." she looked puzzled at him, unsure of what to say at first. however, when she finally found her way of speech, she apologized; "i'm sorry. i thought you were sokka," she admitted, uncomfortable rubbing her hands against each other, as she offered him a smile. "why aren't you over with the others?" she questioned him, contemplating whether she should stand up, and escort him back, or just keep sitting and see what he'd say and do. how in the world had he found her anyway? she'd gone quite far from the group. had he walked around looking for her? that sounded absolutely ridiculous, why would he do that?



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Zuko
Posted: Aug 22 2010, 06:45 PM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
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Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


As far as vacations go, this had without a doubt been the best one Zuko had ever taken. Of course, he'd come to Ember Island for get-aways too many times to count, many when he was just a child. Back then he'd usually come with his mother and Azula, when his father had serious business to attend to and wanted them gone. Naturally that was never what he told them, but Zuko understood that eventually. Occasionally Ozai would join them, and they would begin to mirror the idealistic family - when Azula wasn't tormenting him, or his father wasn't avidly displaying how favoritism towards Azula. But actually, the times when they were all at the beach, doing the typical things like building sand castles and whatnot, were probably the only times when Zuko was truly content as a child. Of course, those moments were few and far between, but they helped him hold on to his sanity, at least. And as many "good" memories Ember Island held, there were at least twice as many awful ones. So being back had initially given the Firelord some conflicting feelings - especially since he was feeling a bit conflicted about other things as well. Yet as soon as his old friends had arrived, being reunited with them made all his old memories fade away in the rush of excitement.

The day had been spent like most others so far - at the beach. Whether it was laying out, swimming, building sand sculptures, or just gathering round to chat about everything the others had missed out on. It still amazed Zuko how easily he was able to talk to each and every one of them... Minus Suki, because he didn't know her all that well, and Katara, because.. Well, it just wasn't that easy to talk to her anymore. But Sokka, Toph, and Aang? It was like second nature talking to them, and it made him miss the old days, when they were training in order to defeat his father. The only thing he didn't miss was being chased and almost killed multiple times by Azula, feeling like his Uncle hated him, and never knowing if they were going to win or lose. Other than all of those worries, however, life had been pretty good when he'd been a part of Team Avatar. And maybe he still was, in a way, but at the same time it felt like there really was no Team Avatar when there wasn't someone they had to defeat, when the world didn't have to be saved. Of course, another problem heavy on Zuko's shoulders... The war very well might have been on the verge of another war. And of course, he was trying to prevent it, but there really was no telling what could happen - and that caused him more stress than even the marriage-to-Mai-while-having-feelings-for-Katara fiasco.

The day had passed quickly, and soon everyone was winding down, relaxing rather than playing, as the day began to draw to a close. Like usual, everyone was talking and having a good time, so perhaps no one else noticed when Katara suddenly left - without saying where she was going or anything. Naturally Zuko was a bit curious, it wasn't like Katara to just walk away without telling anyone where she was going. And true, this whole time he had managed to do pretty well with keeping his mind off of her unless he had reason to - he'd done the best he could to only talk to her a normal amount, the same as anyone else, and to do it in a, well, inconspicuous way. Now, of course, he hadn't done a very good job. He'd tripped over his words, said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and had even blushed far too much over the course of their stay. But when it came to having her on his mind, he had done pretty well, in his opinion. Not to say that when they were in the same vicinity he could keep his eyes off her for a very long while... He just hoped she hadn't noticed, but his gaze always went back to her every minute or so. Which is why he was probably the only one who noticed her subtly get up and walk away. And he couldn't help it - a few moments later he strode after her, as quietly as he could manage.

Zuko had thought he was being pretty stealthy, treading lightly on the sand, and had planned to sit down beside her before she even knew he was there, until she spoke. "if you're here to ask me to make you something to eat then you can.." Zuko paused mid-step, confusion written all over his face, until she turned and realized it was him. He gave her a little shrug and a half-hearted grin when she confessed she'd thought he was Sokka - it did make sense, after all. When she asked him why he wasn't back with the others, he fought against wincing. "Well... I noticed that you left... And, well, I-I thought something might be wrong, so I thought I'd come and check on you, because if you need to talk to someone, you know, well, I could be that someone... That you could talk to... And... Yeah." He rubbed the back of his head as he spoke, wondering why on earth he couldn't form an intelligent sentence around her. He could always talk like an educated human being when he was around Mai, or pretty much any other girl for that matter! So of course when he really needed to keep his cool, around someone who he certainly should not feel anything other than friendship for, he wouldn't be able to. Way to be subtle, Zuko.

Giving a low sigh, he sat on the ground next to her, his arms folded on top of his knees. He turned his head to look at her, only to move his gaze to the ocean in front of them, for fear that he would stare too long and add a whole new level of awkwardness to the situation. "So... Why did you come out here all alone?" He was curious - unhealthily so. It really wasn't any of his business, but hey, they were friends, right? Really close friends. And that was what friends did - they asked when they had reason to believe something was wrong. So Zuko asking her that question would come off as nothing more than a concerned friend hoping to lend some help if he could. Or at least, that was what he was counting on. He couldn't even think about the possibility that she could see through his little facade.

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 1,123 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, WOO WOOOOO, ZUTARA GOODNESS.



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Katara
Posted: Aug 23 2010, 06:14 AM


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Group: WATER TRIBE
Posts: 24
Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up.
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
1560
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
<3<3 :D i'm not sure if i like this. the first paragraph was definitely crap, and it feels like something is missing in the end. and it's long and rambly, and i hope you can figure it out. i'm still sick and pretty incoherent. but i was awake, couldn't sleep, and had to post xDD
the way he tripped over his words, as he stood there and made excuses for following her out (when it had been somewhat obvious that she had not wanted anyone to follow - she would've told someone if she had) to where they were facing each other now, was utterly adorable.. or a very non-freaky 'i-love-my-best-friend' way. she fought the urge to just giggle at him, like the little schoolgirl he occasionally made her feel, and nodded slightly as acceptance of his words. so.. he could be that someone to talk to, if something was wrong? oh, she highly doubted that one. the past few days, he had done no effort in talking to her, what so ever, unless it was highly necessary. or well.. at least, unless he sort of had to. she didn't know what triggered this behavior of his, but she figured it might have been because of her - maybe she was sending subtle hints about her liking him, without even noticing, and he was picking up on them.. and because he didn't feel the same way, and was obviously uncomfortable, he was just trying to let her down easy. oh for the love of god, she must be making a complete fool out of herself! and what about mai? katara had done her best to befriend zuko's apathetic fiancee, and she thought she was doing very well.. of course, unless she was doing the unacceptable and hitting on zuko without really noticing it. then again.. if he was trying to let her down easily - by trying to somewhat avoid her - then why would he have bothered to go after her and stray away from the group? her head was exploding with all of this thinking.. so much for attempting to clear her mind, all her thoughts were buzzing inside her mind, as if some bee had penetrated her scull and was now flying freely inside her brain. she finally came to the conclusion (just to get that buzzing sound to leave her mind) that despite whatever he was thinking about her, he was trying to act like a friend and that was why he was here. yeah, that sounded fair enough. zuko had been the last katara had befriended - speaking of the gaang, of course - and so, obviously, they had the shortest friendship. however, for some reason, zuko had become her best friend.. it was rather odd to think about, at least katara thought so whenever it came to her attention. zuko had not only become her friend last, but he had also betrayed her trust more than once. he'd made up for all the things he'd done in the past - and then some - and she had forgiven him, but the past wan non-erasable. however, she had come to trust him so much that she would go as far as calling him her best friend. obviously though, she would never admit that - it would be rude and it would hurt a lot of people. she was absolutely against hurting anyone.

she smiled at him, grateful to have a friend like him. "you seem be the only one who noticed," she stated - she wasn't blaming any of the others for not noticing, as she didn't want them to. she hadn't left them for good, she'd just planned to be away for an hour or less. she was simply stating that he had been the only one thinking about her - noticing that she was away. which puzzled her even more, as she thought deeper about it. "every thing's fine though, you don't have to worry about me," she shook her head, flashing him one of those reassuring smiles. of course.. she never needed to be looked after. she was the one looking after the others, and she didn't need them to be worried about her.. they should be worried about themselves, they were the most important. she'd manage on her own, without any supervision. she'd done it for years.. been the one taking care of people, not being taken care of. beside that, he had no idea of what he was talking about.. he could be the one she could talk to? really? she didn't think so.. her issues involved him, and she was not about to open up and tell him what she felt and what was bothering her. she'd scare him away - that was the last thing she needed. she wanted to keep this friendship unharmed, as much as she possibly could manage, and be there for him when he got married... have him there when she got married. if she couldn't be with him (which was out of the question) then she needed to keep him as her friend. and by explaining her issues to him she could risk that friendship.. not only that, but she would hurt so many people in the process. she just wouldn't have that. she was a reasonable woman, who did what was best for everyone before thinking of herself.. keeping her thoughts and feelings towards zuko in the shadows was the best for everyone. (everyone except from her) "it's really thoughtful of you, but there's honestly nothing the matter. you can head back to the others, if you want, i'll follow you in a few," she answered, lying in order to turn down his offer of talking to him about her issues as casually as she could manage.

however, he did not notion of wanting or planning to leave, and soon came to sit on the sand beside her. her gaze was locked unto his face, tracing the contours of it. admiring the scar that crazed his eye, temple and part of his cheeks. even when he looked away, she kept looking at him. however, as he questioned her about why she had left to go here all alone, she uncomfortably looking away - knowing that she would be forced to lie straight to his face. it made her feel so wrong.. she never lied. or, at least hardly did, and she wanted so badly to tell him the truth. but she couldn't. forcing herself not to pout, she shrugged her shoulder, quickly trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for her to come out here. as she thought, she realized that her issues with zuko were only part of the reason why she had come out here.. she was surrounded by couples back then, and was sort of a.. seventh wheel, of sorts, when it came to evenings and just sitting around. sokka and suki were together, cuddling against each other.. mai and zuko were together(much to her dismay), about to get married. aang and toph might be in denial of their feelings, but it was still clear to her that it wouldn't take long before they would be together as well (which would be the absolute cutest). she constantly had to watch those couples - which normally wouldn't bother her, if her love-life wasn't as messed up right now. literally shaking the thoughts out of her mind, she turned her gaze up at the stars - which were slowly popping up on the darkening sky above them - and shrugged her shoulders yet again "i came out to admire the sky," yeah, that sounded like something she'd do. "and, i was trying to avoid babysitting sokka.. suki can manage that from now on," she let out a quick chuckle. this lying thing was going pretty well. and it wasn't like she wasn't completely lying to him, the things she was saying were completely true. just not the whole truth. "you know. i'm really happy your uncle invited us to come. this is exactly what we all needed," she was back to looking at him again "a vacation, to get our minds off of all our troubles, and just relax.. i know sokka and i were very happy to get a little away from the south pole. there aren't many beaches like these there.. ah?!" she smirked, attempting to coax him into laughing at her lame joke. yeah.. joking had never been her department.. it had always been sokka's profession. katara was just.. the mom who used to make sure everyone was safe, cooked and stuff like that. she was just trying to lift the tension between her and zuko - it was suffocating her. she just wanted to get through this, get through the two months until he would get married, and then return to the south pole and leave her feelings with zuko back in the fire nation. she wondered if she would ever see him after that - obviously, she would see him at her own wedding.. but would things ever be the same after that? she felt her mood sink, and instinctively leaned in to lay her head on his shoulder - seeking for comfort from any source she could get it from. she hardly even noticed she was doing it. and when she finally did, she figured he'd just find it a friendly gesture - as to say thank you for coming to check up on her. katara had always displayed overly affectionate emotions for her friends, so it wouldn't be something new for her to lay her head on one of her friends shoulders or give them an unexpected hug - or something of that sorts. she thought she was doing pretty well.. keeping everything as normal as possible. he was making it hard - why was he avoiding her like that anyway? she pulled away from him again shortly after, propping her chin up on her knees instead - instantly feeling the lack of his bodywarmth against the side of her head.



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Zuko
Posted: Sep 11 2010, 02:55 PM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
Group Icon

Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


Why did he have to feel something for Katara? Something more than he should be feeling? It made everything complicated. Now, when he was around her he second-guessed himself, when normally he was somewhat confident, self-assured. There was a kind of cycle with him, he supposed. When he was younger he'd been cocky, and not even rightfully so, but that arrogance had been shattered at the same time that his confidence in knowing right from wrong had been. Around the time that his allegiance changed, so did his self-confidence. While he'd still been confident in his abilities - mostly revolving around fighting and bending - his demeanor had changed almost completely. He was meeker, shy, and didn't feel as though he was above everyone else for once. Eventually he'd grown comfortable with the gang, and some of his old nature peeked through; sometimes he was sarcastic, rebellious, and reckless. And now, he was all but back to his normal self. Perhaps not as arrogant, and certain of the true difference between right and wrong, but all in all quite the same. Yet around Katara... Where once he'd been comfortable, now he felt the same as he did when he was the new kid in the group - his heart rate sped up until it felt likely to jump out of his throat, beads of sweat would gather on his brow, and his already inarticulate tendencies became even more severe.

"you seem be the only one who noticed," Zuko blanched momentarily, paranoia rising to an almost suffocating degree - that was obvious, wasn't it? That he was the only one who'd noticed, out of all the other people there! He was so conspicuous. He simply never thought things through all the way, one of his many flaws. "Well... They were all busy talking. I wasn't doing much of anything, so I guess that's why I was the one to notice.." The excuse sounded poor in his mind, but perhaps she wouldn't worry about why he had been the one to have been paying attention. That was what Zuko was counting on at this point - if he thought about anything else, he probably would have gone into a frenzy. He was too panicky around her, any composure that he had always seemed to flee him when he was in her presence. It was both frustrating and disconcerting. When she spoke again, he looked away from her, gnawing on his bottom lip for a moment, quiet in thought. She obviously felt the need to reiterate her statement (possibly because it had been several moments and he hadn't spoken) so he looked back at her, his brows furrowed. "No, I'd rather stay here with you, if you don't mind. Even if nothing's wrong." Some part of his was proud of the fact that he didn't stammer or pause or flush while saying that - maybe that meant he was making some progress with his unruly nerves!

So she came out here to admire the sky? Frankly, he didn't believe that nothing was wrong. Katara just had an ongoing problem - she kept her issues to herself, never letting anyone help, and she spent all her energy helping out everyone else around her. It was one of the things he admired most about her, though he did wish she would open up a little more, even if it wasn't to him. It couldn't be healthy, doing that, bottling everything up. The selfish part of Zuko was a little glad that she'd had a reason to come out here alone at all though, because it meant that he actually got to spend some time alone with her... And when did that ever happen? Never. He was always flanked by Mai (understandably) and she was usually followed by someone else, too, whether it was Aang or her brother, complaining about this or that. So this rare occurrence was quite a nice change. Of course, even being alone with her, his problems weighed heavily on his mind. Even if she felt the same way... There was no way. They were both engaged - thinking that someone was going to marry Katara made him wince; it was painful to know - and... No one would want that. His people would be furious; their Firelord with a Water Tribe girl? They'd never have it, and she doubted her family would like her being with someone like him, either. And even if none of those things were factors, Zuko was quite aware that he simply wasn't good for Katara - or good enough for her, either. He was moody, had a rather bad temper, and he wouldn't be able to give her the care and attention she deserved. Sure, he could present her with almost anything money could buy, but he would be busy. The same problem he had with Mai would quickly arise, and Katara certainly deserved someone who could give her better than that.

So the fact that he could even entertain thoughts of being with her was ridiculous, and inexcusable.

He gave a thin smile when she said she was glad his Uncle had invited them, and raised his eyebrows a fraction when she attempted some poor humor. "Sorry Katara... I really think you should leave the jokes to Sokka. And his are already cheesy." He managed to crack a crooked grin at that, but fell somber again shortly after. "I'm glad too... I'm sure I would have been pretty miserable if you all hadn't come. I missed you." He paused, before nervously adding, "And the rest of the group too, of course..." Suddenly her head was rested against his shoulder - automatically, Zuko froze at the touch, his entire body tensed. And why? It was nothing - it was a completely friend thing to do, Katara was just seeking comfort. Why did her sudden proximity make him feel like he couldn't breathe? Forcing himself to relax, he slowly lowered his head until it rested gently on top of her's. It didn't matter though, because she was gone almost as soon as she'd come - sitting away from him again, her head resting on her knees now. Despite the heat, Zuko felt unnaturally cold. It was pathetic, the effect she had on him. A sigh left his lips, and without thinking, he voiced the first question that came to his mind. "So, this fiancee of yours... Do you love him?" Almost immediately after he said it, he regretted it, and began to backtrack, shamefaced. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. You don't have to answer that." Of course, she never had to do anything. You couldn't tell Katara to do anything, she was completely stubborn. It was another trait that he admired... One of many. But of course, he still yearned for an answer, although the sensible part of his mind told him he probably didn't want to hear it. But since when did Zuko listen to reason?

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 1,161 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, BLAH, I COULD HAVE KEPT RAMBLING FOREVER, BUT I'M ON A LIMITED TIME SCHEDULE. AND ON THAT NOTE, SORRY ALL THIS IS IS RAMBLING. BLAH BLAH BLAH.



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Katara
Posted: Sep 27 2010, 03:10 PM


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Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up..
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
965
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
we'll slowly be cutting down on the wordcount xDDD <3 hope that's keeeewl <3 you're welcome to cut down on the word count as much as you can, that'll help me cut down as well XDD <3
well, of course there should've been no special reason for zuko to be the only one who'd noticed her absence; they had all been busy catching up with each other, having fun with each other, and zuko - being zuko - had probably just fallen silent, looked around and noticed the sudden disappearance of katara. there had been no need to get carried away, and begin entertaining the ridiculous fantasies and ideas that popped into mind. none of them could possibly ever happen, and katara would not let herself get her hopes up; she knew she'd be disappointed if she did, and no one would disappoint her but herself. she said nothing, simply nodded and offered him a little tug at the corners of her lips - a little smile, just to assure him that she understood. then, right as she was telling him he was dismissed if he'd like to return to the others, he'd sat down on the vacant place beside her, in the sand. and as he spoke, she found her whole facial features, as well as the rest of her body, relax and soften. this was reassurance to her that he wasn't trying to ignore her, or else he would've taken off without further sayings, and it somewhat soothed her.. maybe it'd just been in her mind the whole time. that sounded plausible, since her mind was absolutely swamped.. she was bound to wind up delusional and paranoid at some point, with all this mental distress. "no.. no, of course, i don't mind," she said. funny - she'd wanted to be alone, but now didn't mind him staying with her. there was short silence, in which katara just looked down at her bare feet, before she let her eyes travel back to his face - a kind smile grazing her features, tugging on the corners of her mouth "thank you." she'd not planned or expected to have someone follow her, let alone zuko, but she was sort of happy he had. maybe she'd secretly wanted someone to follow her - being alone sounded nice, but spending some rare quality time with zuko sounded even better. even though it seemed rather silly to thank zuko, she still wanted to let him know that she appreciated him staying with her, rather than returning to his girlfriend, who was waiting for him back with the others - oh god, she just hoped that mai wouldn't notice zuko's absence anytime soon. katara already had a hard time around the girl, and she didn't want it getting further strained.. she was doing such an immense effort to keep on the teenagers good side, she didn't want it come tumbling down just because mai would make assumptions. not that her assumptions might not be true, but she didn't need to know that. to hear nothing was fact.

for a short moment, there was yet another silence between the pair - which had been when katara had attempted breaking the ice, and lightning the mood, by shooting an attempt at some humor.. which clearly failed, but at least managed to crack a grin over his lips. she liked seeing zuko smile.. and that had absolutely nothing to do with the feelings she may or may not be feeling (that was what she was telling herself, anyway). he just looked really nice when he was smiling.. and laughing.. happy suited him much better than gloomy, someone should eventually tell him that. "it wasn't that bad," she said, rolling her eyes in defeat. why did she even try? - no one would ever humor her, not even aang, when she made jokes, but only made her feel completely useless on the subject. "humor me for once, it was ten times more funny than any of sokka's cheesy jokes," that was most likely a lie - katara knew she sucked at jokes, but she'd much rather just think everyone else were gloomy, ungrateful little kids. "miserable? it can't be that bad to be firelord, stop complaining," she leaned in to bump her arm against his, indicating that she was simply teasing him. "i really missed you too," she then said, after yet another short moment of silence. "i think we all missed to have the whole group in one place.. it's been a long time since the last time we were all together," it'd been two years.. a lot of things had changed since then, but one thing that hadn't was the sense of family there was about the group. the two feel silent again, until..

"so, this fiancee of yours... do you love him?"

katara's chin left her knee, as she sat up straight and turned to look at him. in general, it was a harmless question - one a girl should be able to answer fairly quickly, and genuinely, about her fiancee.. but katara couldn't seem to get a single word out of her mouth. she found herself feeling scared rather than insulted by his question - did he know something? then he spoke again, telling her she didn't have to answer his question, and katara regained he ability to speak; "of course i don't, that was an incredibly rude question to ask," she snapped, folding her arms over her chest "it'd be like if i asked you if you love mai.. which you obviously do, unless you wouldn't be marrying her!" she didn't sound angry she just sound.. upset. "my marriage may be arranged, but the man i'm marrying is kind and sweet and gentle.. and he loves me," her brows were furrowed, and the corners of her mouth were turned down in an upset frown. she was so distraught by the stinging in her eyes, that she completely missed the fact that she'd avoided his question.



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Zuko
Posted: Sep 27 2010, 10:02 PM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
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Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


When Katara said she didn't mind - even thanked him, which completely boggled his mind - he visibly relaxed, an easy, casual smile upon his lips. It was ridiculously easy to be like this around the girl; he didn't feel the need to act defensive or behind a sarcastic or cold exterior, which he'd had the tendency to do more and more frequently as of late. It was rather upsetting... That wasn't him. That was a shadow of the old Zuko, the Prince who spent years trailing a young boy in hopes of regaining the honor which he'd thought he'd lost. To say he was misguided in those days was a huge understatement... And yet, these days his temper got the best of him far too often. Especially when it came to Mai. Perhaps it was partly because of the guilt that he was feeling about what he now saw in Katara that made him lash out, maybe some part of him was hoping that Mai would end the relationship, and spare him the trouble. At the thought of that, he nearly winced. That was unbelievably cowardly. Besides, what would he do if their relationship did end? Katara had one of her own, so that would get him nowhere. And even if she did, Zuko wasn't a fool. It had taken her long enough to trust him, to consider him a friend. Why was he even attempting to fool himself into thinking she might think more of him? That was the perfect way to end up hurt. More hurt than he already was, anyway. Realizing he hadn't actually responded, he gave a small shrug, his shy smile as much of a 'you're welcome' as was needed.

He attempted to resist rolling his eyes, but ultimately failed, humor lighting them as he peered at the slender girl next to him. He didn't look too long, though, for fear his eyes would adopt a more intimate expression, rather than the friendly, amused gleam they currently carried. "Whatever you say." He chortled, quickly turning his eyes back to the ocean infront of them. It was just as she was... Calm, soothing, gentle and motherly. Yet it was volatile. Without warning it could turn dangerous and cold, if under the right circumstances. So very like the waterbender beside him. He'd witnessed her darker side years ago when he'd helped her track down her mother's murderer. For a moment, he'd truly thought she would end the life of that man... But she'd spared him. Something about her doing that made Zuko see her in a new light. He respected her, more than he'd respected any woman other than his mother. She shook him from his thoughts by bumping lightly into his shoulder, and at her remark he snorted, shaking his head slightly. "It's not all it's cracked up to be." He murmured, mostly to himself; he wasn't sure if she'd heard or not, but it didn't really matter. She said she missed him, and that lit up his night. Even if she followed it up with something about the whole group missing eachother, it didn't matter. Zuko struggled to keep from beaming. What a strange thing... Usually he struggled to keep from scowling. Funny the effect she had on him.

He'd known as soon as he asked it that his question was inappropriate and discourteous, but he hadn't been able to stop himself at the time. His expression faded into a somber one, his eyes pleading with her to understand that he hadn't been thinking as she spoke. He sighed, shaking his head slightly. The sad thing was... He did love Mai. But not in the right way. He'd thought he had, or that it would be enough, anyway. But the sad truth was he couldn't honestly picture his future with Mai as his wife. He just couldn't. He bit his lip. "I'm sorry Katara, I wasn't trying to... say that you didn't... I mean, that is- I wasn't thinking. And it's just.. It's just strange and a little saddening to think that you're going to be married soon." His knees were propping up his elbow now, his palm resting on his forehead, as if his hand were the only thing holding him together at that point. "To be honest... It kind of saddens me... that i'll be getting married soon." He took a deep, shuddering breath after those words; what would that make her think? His mind raced with ways to make the statement seem more innocent - stress, fear of the unknown, his age - but he remained stonily silent, refusing to look at the girl at his side, staring instead at the ocean infront of him, wondering if it would somehow mimic her feelings if she were to suddenly become even angrier... Or whatever other frightening prospect her emotions held in store.

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 808 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, I TRIED TO MAKE IT SHORTER DAMMIT!



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Katara
Posted: Sep 28 2010, 05:27 AM


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Group: WATER TRIBE
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Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up..
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
802
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
no worries, we're slowly getting there xDDD <3 i love this, this is so uhmazing! >D
she never really noticed the change in zuko's attitude and mood, whenever he was around her alone. not because she didn't care (she cared more than she should really be allowed to) but perhaps because it made her feel like more of a home-wrecker than she already felt like.. so, she, subconsciously, just pushed the subject to the back of her head, without giving it too much thought. if she did wind up thinking about it, the thought would eventually spiral out of control, like always, and she didn't know if she could handle anymore internal battles between good and wrong thoughts and deeds.. her subconsciousness took that into account as well. meanwhile, she ignorantly continued to live her life. she really liked this zuko though, her subconscious let her chew on that feeling.. she liked spending time with zuko, like this - like friends, just sitting around and chatting, teasing each other and laughing. setting aside all that really mattered and just enjoy each others company - something they rarely seemed to get the chance to do. they were never left alone (they were either just unfortunately around the others, or mai was flanking zuko, making sure they never got a wake moment alone together - did she suspect? oh god, katara hoped not,), and zuko was eternally gloomy around them.. which sort of just wrung any sense of longing to be alone with him. sadly enough, the amusement and happiness, which was practically beaming off of his eccentric red eyes, was quick to fade and was replaced with a sort of empty feeling. she'd heard what he had said, but had decided not to answer to it - she knew the feeling much too well. it was the same with her and rebuilding the water tribe.. her wedding.. it was a great honor to be such a great part of rebuilding the two water tribes - uniting between the two, by marrying the northern water tribe chief's son - but her heart felt unusually empty and unsatisfied. the feeling was only intensified, as she sat here and looked at the one thing she wanted and couldn't have. they were so alike, it was almost frightening.

their conversation took an even worse turn - from then on, everything just sort of went down hill for the two of them. at some point, she knew she was getting upset over a silly, little innocent question.. regular people wouldn't become upset when asked if they loved their fiancee - they'd delightfully answer the question positively, with a beam on their face. there was nothing regular about katara, though, or the situation she was in - she didn't love her fiancee, and she felt as if she was incapable of lying on that subject to anyone.. zuko especially. she didn't love her fiancee, she loved zuko and she couldn't say anything.. that was what was upsetting her. his words echoed through her mind, and she found herself with jaw dropped nearly to the ground. "it's just strange and a little saddening to think that you're going to be married soon..." ... "to be honest... it kind of saddens me... that i'll be getting married soon." her heart had jumped straight up to her throat, and was beating so rapidly that she for a second felt like vomiting. "it saddens you?" she asked, suddenly very quiet. all the anger had dispersed, and she was left silent with the torment her beating heart and crazy thoughts left her. "why? you and mai.. you love each other," she muttered, keeping her voice at a very low volume for the reason that it was hard for her to talk about. she was silent for a while - repeatedly opening and closing her mouth, as if she was about to say something. when she finally did, it came out barely above a whisper; "you're the one shaping your future.. you decide how you want you future to look like.. who you want to spend it with." it could easily sound like she was lecturing him - and it wouldn't be unlikely of her to try.. but you could hear by the way she spoke that she was far from lecturing him. "you have a choice.. i know you love mai, so maybe you're just having cold feet.. but if you're.. unhappy.. and don't want to.. get married.. don't," .. could that possibly have been a request? "i don't have a choice.. i wish i had," she hoped to say it so quietly that he would overhear it.. but everything around them had fallen completely still, as if to give them their privacy and quiet to talk about this. her heart felt like is was going to jump right out of her throat, and land in her hand, at any minute now, as her eyes found their way back to his face. he was facing the horizon in front of them - the beautiful still ocean - wishing that he would look at her.. just so she could examine the emotions in his eyes, figure out what he was thinking.



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Zuko
Posted: Sep 28 2010, 03:22 PM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
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Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


Zuko was getting increasingly uncomfortable as time wore on and their conversation turned from light and trivial to things that were darker, more intense. And frankly, he really shouldn't have said anything about his own marriage. As a matter of fact, he shouldn't have brought up Katara's fiancee at all. Zuko knew these things all too well, and knew he was an idiot for broaching the subject when all it would lead to was disappointment anyway. Because that's all there was with her. There could be nothing else when he felt like this. Much as he would have liked to allow himself a small shred of hope, her engagement was a done deal. She would never let down her people. She was too selfless for that. She would abandon her own happiness for theirs... Of course, here he went again. Assuming that she wasn't happy. What on earth did he know? She was probably very happy, moreso than him atleast. Besides, she'd said he loved her... Not that she loved him, he realized suddenly, and frowned at the thought. If he was as great as she claimed he was - which the bitter part of Zuko doubted very highly - then surely she should be head over heels for the guy, right? But then, this was Katara. She wasn't exactly your typical girl. The thought made him want to smile and grimace at the same time. Yes... she was definitely one in a million.

"it saddens you?" she inquired, and Zuko nervously gnawed on his lips. He was seriously regretting admitting that. He had opened his mouth to speak, to offer some sort of odd excuse as to why he would say such a thing - how silly, of course he wanted to get married! - when she spoke again. At first he simply listened quietly, trying to decide if her words were plainly spoken, or if there was more meaning to them than he thought. His eyes traveled to her's, utter and complete confusion flitting across his features. But as she continued to speak, his head began to shake, his eyes closing as if in impatience, but honestly he was just frustrated with the situation in its entirety. "No, Katara, I don't have a choice!" His voice rose with his desperation, his hand traveling to his forehead. With an effort, he lowered his voice so that it was calm once more. "My advisors, my friends and family, my entire nation is counting on me to give them a Fire Lady, and soon. You think I have a choice? I don't. And Mai was really the only one for the job." He winced at his words. They seemed cold, but they were true. Or at the least, they were how he felt. He bit his lip once again, his eyes searching her's. "Firelord or not, I'm just as helpless as you in this situation." Of course, he could call off the wedding, but then he'd have even more upset people to deal with. And he'd had an abundance of those lately. "Besides, Katara, you don't have to marry him either. You could refuse. People would be disappointed, but what could they do? They can't force you. Just as no one can force me..." He sighed softly, "But you see, there's no point in me not getting married. Because..." He paused, trying to figure out just how to word it. Yet he really couldn't think of a way, not without ruining his cover completely, not without letting her know exactly how he felt. And tempting as that was... He just couldn't. His shoulders slumped, and his head shook slightly once again. "I don't know." He mumbled, frustrated by his cowardice. Why couldn't he just tell her?

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 625 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, I GOT IT SHORTER! XD



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Katara
Posted: Sep 28 2010, 04:39 PM


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Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up..
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
682
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
this kind of sucks. my head is betraying me o__o damn sickness. but i wanted to post for you anyway, so here you go xD <3
she was shaken up - and with good reason, she believed - when zuko raised his voice and told her off. she was a mess already, him taking his frustration wasn't doing any good.. if any, it was only making matters worse. insulted by the act, she crossed her arms - readying herself to defend her own person, if he continued yelling at her. that was who she was, she didn't take any crap from anyone and zuko was no exception. she opened her mouth to contradict his statement, but he interrupted her - his voice low and more or less calm once more. she relaxed, ashamed of the thought that she'd just about to yell right back at him. he'd snapped - completely understandable, she supposed.. the subject seemed to be almost as touchy for him as it was to her. yet another something they shared. she listened carefully, her eyes searching his for.. she wasn't sure what. at the mention of mai, that familiar sting in her heart returned to torment and upset katara even further -god, had she known she'd be in so much agony tonight she would've never gotten out of bed. she wanted so badly to return to her home now.. she needed so badly to sit in her grandmothers lap right now. she wanted to be comforted, she didn't want to have to feel these feelings anymore. it was too hard. of course, she'd been the only option.. there was no way katara could ever be an option - she'd been silly to even dream about it - what would everyone say? no; the firelord marrying a water tribe girl? it was absurd, even in her mind it sounded crazy. and she loved him. "no one is forcing you! no one arranged this for you! you proposed, out of will, to mai, so it was your choice! i understand that people are counting on you, as the fire lord, to give them a fire lady.. and you will give them a fire lady some day, whether it's now or later and they should trust you enough to trust that you will someday!" in all honesty, she didn't know what she was trying to get out of this conversation. "you should be thinking about yourself too.." she knew this was contradicting everything she was doing herself - but that was simply because she was incapable of thinking about herself for one second. she was her lowest priority, her friends and family and tribe were her first. it was everyone else before her. it was harmful.. zuko shouldn't be like that. she wouldn't let him destroy himself.

"it's different with me," she immediately defended herself, her eyes quickly glued to the sand beneath her - intentionally avoiding zuko's eyes. "my marriage is an arranged marriage. to help rebuild the two tribes. it's different," it really wasn't that different.. yes, it was an arranged marriage. but her father was a man with the greatest heart in the whole world - if she told him she did not want to get married, he would call the agreement off in a heartbeat. she left that detail out, hoping zuko wasn't secretly capable of reading peoples thoughts. he had her attention seconds after, yet again. "no wait.. because what?" he'd caught her curiosity. "enlighten me, why is there no point in you not getting married?... why is there point in you getting married, if you'll be unhappy? mai will be unhappy too, she'll sense you're unhappy! if you're trying to please her, you won't succeed. she'll be unhappy if your unhappy." mai was already the gloomy kind of person, but katara could guarantee she'd be even more upset and downright unhappy if zuko married her and turned out miserable. katara was looking out for mai.. that was strange. she realized it may sound wrong, all of what she was saying - as if she was trying to break them apart. she wasn't, she just wanted for zuko to be happy. couldn't they wait with marriage a little? until zuko was ready? honestly, she didn't know - who was she to say he wasn't ready. she just wanted him to think of his own happiness first.



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Zuko
Posted: Sep 29 2010, 08:27 PM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
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Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


Zuko's heart was hammering in his chest so quickly that he was sure it was going to burst at any moment. This definitely hadn't been in his plans... He certainly wouldn't have imagined they'd be here talking about these matters when he came out here. He'd figured they'd spend their time chatting about trivial things, keeping the mood light... staying away from serious topics. Yet here they were... discussing each other's marriages. It was both a dream come true and a nightmare for Zuko. He couldn't decide, but in all honesty it was probably more bad than good. After all, they would probably just end up fighting... If he argued with her, anyway. You couldn't deny how fiesty she could be. His eyes were cast down even further as she spoke, melancholy threatening to overwhelm him. She made it seem like he had a choice... In fact, everyone did. But when it came down to it, the choice was marry Mai and make everyone - almost everyone - happy, or call it off and have most of the world hating you. Frankly, Zuko was just tired of it all. Tired of the constant stress of wars and threats and negative energy, tired of trying to please everyone all the time, and most of all, tired of hiding his feelings when all he wanted to do was blurt them out. When she said he should be thinking about himself, he nearly laughed, but instead it came out as a short breath of air through his nose. His head gave a quick shake once more - he was just full of disagreements tonight, wasn't he? - and he peered at her from the corner of his eye.

"That's just another thing we have in common Katara. I can't think about myself, hardly ever." It was difficult to focus on his thoughts, what he was saying, when he looked at her. Especially with the moon out, highlighting her long hair, her smooth skin, the iridescent blue of her eyes... Shaking himself back into focus, he smiled grimly. "But, I think about others because it's my duty to. You do it because you're selfless." Another thing he loved about her... Add it to the list. He could go on and on. As she continued speaking, he listened closely; from what he heard, she found no true longing in her arrangement, either. Not if it was simply a political match. He stared at her in wonder, trying to figure out exactly what she felt... Which, even looking into her all-too expressive eyes, was nearly impossible to comprehend. It was sick, selfish thing to hope, but he really did hope she didn't love her husband-to-be. Because even though Zuko knew he had no chance, he couldn't help but yearn for it anyway. And if she didn't love the man, maybe she would change her mind about marrying him... Maybe...

"Because..." He sighed. What reason was he supposed to have for that? As far as anyone knew, he and Mai bickered a lot, but were still madly in love. He didn't know what exactly his feelings were, but if he couldn't classify them, they couldn't have been right.Yet when he looked at Katara... They were clear as crystal. He could sum it up in one word, but he couldn't think it. Not knowing she was about to go off and get married. "Because there's someone else, Katara!" He snapped, but not in a way that was directed at her. He was upset with himself. Angry that he was feeling these things that he had no right to feel. "I mean... Not really. But I... feel something for someone else. And I... I have no idea what to do. At all." He said, his voice dropping to a whisper by the end. He shook his head; he really didn't know what she would get from that, but he was done with all the pretense.

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 655 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, I GOT IT SHORTER! XD



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Katara
Posted: Sep 29 2010, 09:18 PM


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Group: WATER TRIBE
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Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up..
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
712
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
this kind of sucks. my head is betraying me o__o damn sickness. but i wanted to post for you anyway, so here you go xD <3
her eyes were practically frowning themselves, as he expressed his incapability of being able to think about himself, and compared them to each other - pointing out the similarities and difference between them. for some reason, it always made her so sad to hear it when someone was putting himself and his feelings as second priority, and wound up putting the feelings of the people around him as first - it was part of her motherly nature, she supposed, she always felt sickly ill whenever someone was unhappy. you could only imagine how she was feeling now, hearing these kind of things coming from zuko - she was practically vomiting in her own mouth, out of a guilty conscience that he was not thinking of himself enough and thus harming himself. and if he thought he was going to get away with it, without having to put up a well thought out argument, he was wrong - katara had some (although pretty dirty) tricks up her sleeve; "you've not always been like that," she knew that what she was going to say was going to be incredibly unfair, but she simply couldn't help herself - he could wind up hating her as much as he'd like after this, she just wanted him to realize that he was capable of thinking of himself.. and convince him to actually do it "once it was all about you.. i'm not saying you're that person anymore, you're not!" she spewed the words out of her mouth, so quickly, that it ended up nearly sounding like one long word. "i'm not saying that at all.. you were a bad guy back then, and i don't ever wish you to go back to that. just.. i think it'd be good if you adopted some of the selfish attitude from back then.. and apply it on the zuko that's sitting with me, here, today." she bit down her lip "that sounded wrong. i'm just trying to say.. you should feel comfortable feeling selfish sometimes. it's unhealthy not to be" she was being very hypocritical, but he would surely understand. he knew her, and he knew that she truly was incapable of being selfish and thinking of herself. there was a moment of silence after he was done speaking, in which katara slowly let her eyes travel back to the, now, dark horizon in front of her. "being selfless can sometimes be a true curse," she admitted, in a low whisper. take the situation she was in now - marrying a man she didn't love, torturing herself by watching the man she did have feelings for get married. she wasn't very nice to herself, she realized, and she would pay the price eventually, when she was older. she just couldn't bring herself to be a little selfish, and it wounded her.

"because there's someone else, katara!" at that one, katara nearly choked on her own heart, as it jumped straight forward up into her throat and nearly leaped out of her mouth. she stopped breathing for a total of 15 long seconds, before she finally remembered the ancient art of breathing and saved herself from near death. she could honestly not decide if she was happy or unhappy about this new discovery of hers, because she was still unsure of who the hell he was talking about.. could it possibly be her? she couldn't help but heavily doubt it, but... who else was there? she didn't know, she had to find out.. she'd go mad if she didn't. the way he had snapped it at her however, easily exterminated any sort of hope that it could be her. "i don't understand.. why would there be no point in you not getting married, if you.. have feelings for someone else? that alone should give you a good enough reason not to get married," she muttered, trying to make her voice sound even. god, how she wished she could take her own advice and do so herself. ".. if you love someone else.." back up a bit, who'd spoken about love? she corrected herself; .. like.. someone else.. why not be with her? would the council disapprove?" then a short silence, before the million dollar question flew out of her mouth; "who is she?" she asked, her voice a little lower and quieter. way to be subtle, katara.. she just couldn't help herself. "i don't mean to be nosey.. just know that i'll listen, if you want to tell me," she continued, knowing she might be crossing a line, which was why she continued with the following; "we're friends. you can trust me." her eyes occasionally stole a glance at him, through the corners of her eyes, when she spoke - but soon settled on the folded hands in her lap. she'd listen to whatever he had to tell her, because he was her friend and she wanted to help, but she refused to look at him.



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Zuko
Posted: Nov 1 2010, 10:48 PM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
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Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


Zuko had no idea that when he came out here, followed Katara tonight, that it would come to this. He'd thought it would be idle chitchat, talk between friends, as it always was. And, in all the ways that counted, it was still just a talk between friends. But there was something different. The atmosphere was too tense, almost... expectant. Was he just imagining it? Was it his own mind making it up because that was what he wanted? There was no way of telling. All he knew was that it felt as though something had changed, like some important dynamic between them had shifted. Or atleast, again, that's just what he was feeling. Then again, his emotions were in overdrive, he felt like that overdramatic boy hunting for the Avatar years ago. Only today, today he was looking for something much different, and the need that drove him was of a completely different sort. He listened to her words in a stony silence, his hands clasped around his elbows, staring contemplatively into the ocean infront of him. Beautiful. It was both so different and so similar to his fire. Fire and water could both be destructive if used in the wrong ways... Or they could bring good things. Water healed, fire warmed. Sure, they might clash when put together under most circumstances, but sometimes... they could work together perfectly. His thoughts whirled around that as she spoke, and only when she paused and proceeded to speak again did he realize he'd been more or less zoning out. Whoops. "that sounded wrong. i'm just trying to say.. you should feel comfortable feeling selfish sometimes. it's unhealthy not to be." He frowned, pondering on that. Maybe that was true, but it sounded like something he should have been telling her - not the other way around. Zuko had been completely selfish most of his life. He needed to be selfless now - or try to be, as he was rather failing at the moment - if only to make up for how long he'd been greedy. "Does it matter?" He asked quietly, after she'd finished speaking. "I'm selfish anyway. Even if I try to be good, I always do something that hurts someone else. Like right now... I'm being more selfish than I've been in a long time."

Was that too obvious? Probably, but Zuko was tired. He was fed up. And he felt like he was steadily falling apart. Every time he thought about Katara, Mai wormed her way into his mind, and then the guilt threatened to make him sick. It was exhausting, and made him feel like an awful person. He didn't look at her when she talked again. So she didn't understand? Well, of course she didn't. He didn't even understand his own feelings really, so how could she? He ignored her questions, turning to look at her and leaning over until they were eye-to-eye, quite too close for casual, friendly conversation. His stare was too intense - this certainly wasn't appropriate. But was he thinking about that right now? Not really. "So what about you, Katara? Could you be selfish?" He paused, letting his question sink in for a moment, before he continued. "If you had to be selfish for just a little bit, to make yourself happy, would you? Or would you continue to give everything you have to everyone else, knowing that you'll be miserable in the long run?" His eyes scanned her face, looking closely for her reaction, whatever that may be. His voice softened audibly. "...I'm just curious."

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 595 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, OMFG I'M SOOOO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. KILL ME.



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Katara
Posted: Nov 6 2010, 06:05 AM


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Group: WATER TRIBE
Posts: 24
Member No.: 28
Joined: 17-August 10



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I know that hope weighs on your mind, lost within the seams, it seems like we lose ourselves in between. But the harder things become, the harder you push away. Oh baby, yeah baby, it kills me. You said it, you said it I'll take you at your word. These promises that you can't keep, it's getting harder to hold on. You said it, you said it don't ever let me fall. Don't give up because you're losing (you haven't lost). In time you'll find that we can sober up, clean up any dirt so we can open up..
These wounds have been open for forever now.
tagged
zuzu :D
location
ember island
wearing
look at banner
lyrics
chasing cars BY snow patrol
word count
1121
credit
TEMPLATE MADE BY KAYLA JEAN FROM MARS OF A THOUSAND FIREFLIES.
notes
i will most certainly not kill you >< i still need you for the uhmazing plooot xD <3 anyway.. this is fucking long. i got waaay carried away. other than that.. i lost my first attempt at it, so this is pretty suckish compared to the first one :/// but oh well. that's what you get for not writing in word, dammat ><
she frowned, displaying the dislike of the whole situation plainly on her face. to her, zuko had possibly been one of the strongest people she had ever gotten to know. he'd gone through so many hardships in his life - the hardest one being his journey to figure out who he was. his whole life, he'd let the loss of his so called 'honor' define him.. he'd been the banished prince, who'd been sentenced to capture the avatar to return his title back to him, for the longest time.. until he'd realized he didn't have to be the person everyone perceived him to be, and slowly shaped up to be the strong person he was today. a strong person, who should be aware of the fact that it was completely fine to let yourself be selfish sometimes.. especially if being selfish was the one thing that would make you happy. and it wasn't like he wasn't familiar with the term.. he had most likely even mastered the art of selfishness (she was not judging, honestly).. so now he just needed to was apply the selfishness to the kind, strong, honest person he'd shaped up to be. what disappointed her the most was the fact that he was sitting here, telling her that he could do nothing without hurting someone - he was basically describing the old zuko, which she wouldn't let him get away with. he was not that person anymore. he could be selfish without the end of the world happening. "of course it matters," she whispered, "and you don't always do something that hurts someone else, you know that's not true. and you've turned into such an amazing person over the years, so what if you're a little selfish sometimes? it's part of who you are. and it doesn't make you a bad person.," she shook her head, wanting nothing more than to get into that head of his and force him to realize that he had every right to be a little selfish sometimes. especially when it came to love. "and i really don't see how you're being selfish lately," he really wasn't, according to her. he was marrying a woman, whom he obviously loved, while harbouring feelings for someone else. someone he'd maybe rather be with? that was very selfless. he may feel bad about it, but that didn't mean he was being selfish. after all, he had no affairs going on with the other female. this conversation between them was rather odd.. she was actually trying to make him act selfishly. she was being a complete hypocrite, and he knew it - perhaps that was why he wasn't giving in to her.

suddenly he was closer, leaning in so close that she could nearly feel his breath on her face when he spoke. his eyes, still locked on hers, drew her to him in a strange way - she felt herself fighting the urge to lean in forward, and either snuggle up to him or kiss him.. she hasn't entirely made up her mind on what she wanted to do right now. well, she didn't want to do anything; which was sort of why she was having this internal battle with herself. the fact that he was completely ignoring any of her intruding questions completely passed her mind, as she was too absorbed staring into the red iris of his eyes - still bravely fighting her subconsciousness, and the little fantasies that kept popping up in her brain. oh, this was so inappropriate, she could feel herself shrinking to the size of.. something tiny, microscopic.. as the images o her fiancee and mai popped into her brain. zuko was definitely going to be the death of her, at this rate she could see herself going mad within the next year. this was all so unhealthy.. for some reason, she didn't really care much. too caught up in all the craziness happening in her head, and the deep red color in his eyes, she nearly missed his question - and when she finally realized that he had asked a question, she noticed the slight gap between her upper and lower lip, and the intense stare she was giving him. she changed position, looking away for a while to ease up her facial expression, and then returned to looking him in the eye. "if i could be.. selfish?" she asked.. "i've been selfish.. leaving aang to go rebuild my tribe - marry another man - was selfish and it hurt him and i.. was so angry with myself." she felt the frustration tingle in her breast as she spoke, poured her heart in front of him. settling down again, she looked up at him "i'd like to think i'd never have to be selfish to be happy.. i don't want to have to hurt other people to be happy.." that was katara, and he knew her well enough to have expected that answer. prioritizing other people's happiness over her own was all she knew - as much as she wanted to make a switch, and for once think about herself, she wasn't sure she could do that. and sitting here with zuko made her want that so much - why couldn't she be selfish for herself, set other people's feelings aside for a while and do something for her - something that made her happy. "on the other hand i'd like to think i could be strong enough to put my foot down and say.. that i deserve whatever or.. whoever, because it or.. they make me happy.. but there are no guarantees that i could ever have it.. or them.. or that it would last.." was she being obvious? maybe a little.. she didn't thin so, because really - she wasn't thinking much about what she was saying ".. and then, would it have been worth possibly having hurt other people to get what i wanted? and myself?" was it? were there any guarantee's that she could ever have zuko? there were no guarantee's, since he had a fiancee and she had a fiancee.. and of course, there were absolutely no guarantee's he felt the same as her. as a matter of fact, he couldn't possibly think of her the same way. and even if they did.. they were so different. she looked away, gently removing her hair from her face. she chuckled nervously, shaking her head "you asked a simple question and i give you a whole speech with no real point to it. i think i'd play it safe, if i had to choose between being selfish or not, and keep putting others before me. that way i don't hurt anyone or myself.. i realize it's not ideal, but it's easier that way. and i mean.. i'm not entirely miserable. when you care about something or someone, seeing them happy would be enough to make you happy," she attempted a smile, then looked away and down into the sand. this was bothering her so much. she wanted to be selish, she just didn't know how. he knew her well enough or that answer not to be a surprise.. hopefully not a v either. she felt rather weak as a person.



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Zuko
Posted: Nov 7 2010, 10:59 AM


YOU RISE WITH THE MOON. I RISE WITH THE SUN.
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Group: FIRE NATION ADMIN
Posts: 121
Member No.: 5
Joined: 26-July 10



WE'RE DOING FINE, WE'RE DOING NOTHING AT ALL. MY HOPES ARE SO HIGH THAT YOUR KISS MIGHT KILL ME, SO WON'T YOU KILL ME, SO I DIE HAPPY? MY HEART IS YOURS TO FILL OR BURST, TO BREAK OR BURY, OR WEAR AS JEWELRY
whichever you prefer,


Zuko felt his frustration rise up quickly again. This was going absolutely nowhere. He was exasperated, he was feeling like it would be so much easier to just say to hell with it, to give up this stupid fantasy he had. Wishful thinking, that's what it was, that was all it ever was, he reminded himself. So why was he suddenly acting like it could be a reality? It couldn't. It never could. She'd go off and get married and so would he, and frankly it wouldn't even surprise him if he rarely or never saw Katara again. And much as the thought was a horrible one to bear, he had to accept it. Honestly, becoming the Firelord had rather screwed up his life - why couldn't his Uncle have just taken up the throne? He would have been a great Firelord, and Zuko was certain Iroh would be doing a much better job of it than he was. Zuko was too volatile, his decisions too rash, and he put too much of his emotions into what he was thinking. He knew all of this, yet he continued to do it. So it was bad enough that he was a terrible Firelord - but it ruined any chances he had with- with certain things! Like the girl sitting in front of him. He hadn't known becoming the Firelord would change everything so drastically. Would he have done any different if he had known? Probably not. When the good of the world is at stake, there's no room to be selfish. No matter what Katara said. After all, she was marrying that man for the good of the Water Tribes - so she had no room to talk. She was being such a hypocrite! Though, to be fair, Zuko hadn't exactly given her the details of why he couldn't do what he wanted, but still. How could she sit there and tell him to be selfish when she was doing the exact same thing he was?

"and you don't always do something that hurts someone else, you know that's not true. and you've turned into such an amazing person over the years, so what if you're a little selfish sometimes? it's part of who you are. and it doesn't make you a bad person.," He sighed, shaking his head. She really didn't understand. He settled his head down into his hands for a moment, trying to contain how utterly frustrated he was feeling, but he just couldn't do it. "Of course you don't understand." He grumbled through a clenched jaw, "You don't know anything. I haven't told you everything. And for good reason, because if I did tell you, it wouldn't make a difference. If I did tell you, you'd probably never look at me the same way again!" He paused, worried that he'd said too much, and carefully, slowly picked his head up, looking everywhere but at her. That was the one thing that frightened him most, that she'd look at him with... revulsion. Or something like it. He wasn't sure he could stand such a thing.

When he leaned over towards her, her reaction almost made him crack a smile... If he were able to do such a thing. Wide eyes, parted lips, she looked every bit taken aback. He wished he could just reach over and push her hair behind her ear, or put his hand on her cheek. But try as he might, his limbs seemed to have stopped working. He was frozen in place, as it seemed that she was, though he listened carefully when she talked, hoping for some reason that if she did feel anything for him, she'd be a bit bolder than he was and choose to just say it. She seemed to speak for ages, and nothing what she said came as a surprise to him. In fact, it had been what he'd expected. Wanted? No. Expected? Definitely. Though... Was it just him, or was she dropping hints? Just as he had been? He leaned away again as she had, frowning into the sand below him. This was all too complicated to bear. He led a complex life already, hell, he himself was complex. And now, not knowing anything, it seemed, he felt like he wanted to just pull out his heart and leave it behind. How much easier life would be without it.

He couldn't sit there any longer. His entire being was divided into two parts that had little semblance with one another, where nothing agreed and where nothing made sense. He bit his lip, brow furrowing for a minute, before he began to stand - and paused. His eyes darted around to nowhere in particular, as he sat there half-poised to stand for a few precious seconds, and then his hand found her shoulder, and he tugged, bringing her around to face him. And by then his decision was made. His palm moved to her cheek, cradling her face in it as he'd wanted to, and he leaned down, his lips brushing hers quickly and for the faintest instant before he stood up, shaking his head at his own brazen actions, and walked away from her without a word. He walked with purpose, but all the while his thoughts were in a guilty, frantic jumble. What had he just done? He possibly just ruined everything. She wasn't dropping hints! Why'd he do that? He probably just ruined their friendship. And what if she told Mai? Then his to-be marriage would also be ruined. Everything turned to dust. He wanted away, away to where everything made sense. If only there was such a place.
What have I done?

HELLO, ZUKO HERE WITH A POST TAGGED FOR KATARA. WE'RE LIVING IT UP IN EMBER ISLAND, AND ZUKO LOOKS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES - MOODY. >.< ANYWHO, THERE ARE 944 WORDS IN THIS POST, THE TEMPLATE AND THE GRAPHICS WERE MADE BY LANAH, AND THE LYRICS ARE BY DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL. ALSO, ERMMM... KIND OF DICTATED ACTIONS THERE TOWARD THE END. SORRY XD I CAN CHANGE IT IF YOU REALLY WANT ME TO. ALSO! LIKE, IF YOU WANT TO END THE THREAD HERE, THAT'S COO', JUST SAY SO. OR NAWT, WHATEVS!



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