EPIPHANIES., open.

[MAXWELL ADRIAN SOMMARTINI]

fiat lux !

Oh right, right. They're worse than Catholics. Damn religion. It fucks everything up. I can't imagine that your mom didn't know that at least I was gay. I mean, I'm not obvious in public, but I was terribly obvious anytime I was around you. She had to know that I wanted to tear your clothes off. And I've never been with a muscle man, just so you know. I think they'd break me, you know, fragile little Maxie. >_>;; I like guys that look like Brent!...I'm serious too. ... Why do I feel like this is going to be the future? Oh Ilaria, don't rip your horrid vagina giving birth to all those children! Maybe she'll give us one of them. Wait. No. That's a terrible idea. We'd be horrible parents. or at least I would be. Hmm, I guess I'm kind of looking forward to this now. I've never really had the opportunity. I just kind of go with what I know, and what I know is, well, you know. >.> ... <.<

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[BRENTLEY BOYD MILLER]

mastercheef.

yup..Religion is unnecessary. Honestly, I think my mom knew but she didn't want to accept it. So, she figured that if she ignored it, you'd magically become straight. loool. I almost died one afternoon during church. She got my family to pray for you. I had tears.

Oh did you? I think that's why she never left us completely alone. We would have destroyed each other. Good, muscles are gross. Fragile, gorgeous Maxie. <3 Well, I'd have hoped so.

Because it is the future. You and I can see it plain as day. I just...poor llaria. Her vagina is gonna be like a clown car by the end of it. oh lord. No. No children for us. You and I would be shitty parents baby.

Let me just say one word. Tight.

OMG THANK YOU MOO MOO MAIZIE OF ATF.

[

[MAXWELL ADRIAN SOMMARTINI]

fiat lux !

Did you start laughing? I probably would have busted up if my mom ever prayed for you. Oh god, that's really funny! ...Wait, now that I think about it, I think my mom did pray for once once. Ilaria told me that she mumbled something about "please don't let my fuck up and his friend fuck up more than they already do" or something along those lines. We both assume she was talking about and you there. It's a damned shame we didn't too! I could have lost my virginity before I turned 20... Yeah, I feel bad for her children too. That girl is crazy. At least they'll probably be smart, academically I mean. Everyone knows street smarts don't run in the Sommartini line. We should definitely never EVER have kids. Those poor children. A classical nerd stoner for one parent and a crazy lush musician for another. They'd turn out worse than us! Ah. Ahhh, Brent, is your ass a virgin? DO I GET YOUR ASS VIRGINITY?! That's going to make me so happy. So so happy.

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[BRENTLEY BOYD MILLER]

mastercheef.

Yeah. I laughed so hard. Y'know how quiet it gets during prayers too. Everyone stared. I couldn't help it. It was just too much and I ended up snorting like a pig and my face was so red. Oh, your mom. Bless her. lol. We were quite the "fuck ups"

A damn shame indeed dear Maxwell. A damn shame.

We'd be such bad, bad parents. I'd probably forget the get kid at walmart or some shit or leave it on top of my car and drive down the interstate going 90. Why our child would be on top of our car instead of inside it is beyond me. But, it'd be our kid so no further explanation would be required. The closest thing we're getting to children are pets.

Yessir. I figured I'd save it for that special someone. Just...please try and last for more than a few minutes. It's not you. I just have taken quite a few anal virginities and it's too much sometimes.

OMG THANK YOU MOO MOO MAIZIE OF ATF.

[MAXWELL ADRIAN SOMMARTINI]

fiat lux !

Oh god! That's great! I wish I could have been there...Actually no, we would have got kicked out very fast. Yeah...please never EVER bring up that I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20. If you knew the details too...oh, it just gets worse. ;; Oh god, Brent, one of us would put the baby seat up on the car. And then off we'd go. I'd probably kill it from asphyxiation somehow. You know, smoking in the living room...next to the baby. Probably not a good idea. Aren't you sweet! Saving part of yourself for Maxie. I, uh...I make no promises on that. I'll do my best, but I really don't know. I mean, when I lost my virginity... FUCK NO. Not getting into anymore of that. Just, ahh, if I fuck up, remember when you lost your virginity and pretend I'm a little better than that. ;_;

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[BRENTLEY BOYD MILLER]

mastercheef.

ahaha. we'd be forever blacklisted by the church of latter day saints. Oh, how will we ever live? /faint

I won't. But, of course you've peaked my interest with the "if you knew the deatils" part. It's gonna be gnawing away at me because..these details. I can only imagine..It is you after all.

loooool. those poor children. It'd be a death sentence getting us as parents. Just never. We could always babysit for your sister....actually. Nevermind that. We'd probably end up doing something stupid to get them killed as well. Children should just stay away from us.

kadsfjl;a lmao.I doubt you'll fuck up. oh god. the horror. I'm sure that you'll be a million times better than when I first had sex. Just..jesus christ. I was so damn proud in that moment. But now that I look back on it..Just...no. /shudder

OMG THANK YOU MOO MOO MAIZIE OF ATF.

[MAXWELL ADRIAN SOMMARTINI]

fiat lux !

It's...it's really embarrassing. It all was bad. Maybe I'll tell you. You can tell me about your first time, and then I'll think about telling you I don't know, we might be better than her for parents. I mean, she's fucking crazy. But then again...yeah, it's probably for the best if we just are never around children. I don't want to be someone's bitch. ...well, unless it's you, but I figure you know that already. Yeah, yeah. That sounds like how it usually goes I think. Losing virginity is so glorious, and then you look back on it and cry a little. I hope I'll be better than you! I think I need to build back some endurance before I try that though. It's...yeahhhh.

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[BRENTLEY BOYD MILLER]

mastercheef.

lord. My first time was with a wookie. The girl had Yellowstone's forest downstairs. Pubes were in places they didn't belong. She had more hair on her body that I did. Dead. Dead. Dead. GOD. fuck. Kill me please.

Maybe. I'd feed them dry kibble and crate em' at night. Maybe if we do have kids, can we...like adopt an Asian. They're SO CUTE.

I do more than cry a little. There's a bit of dry heaving thrown into the little party mix of nasty.Yes, endurance is something that'd be nice for you to have. With time, I'll make you into a marathon runner.

OMG THANK YOU MOO MOO MAIZIE OF ATF.

[MAXWELL ADRIAN SOMMARTINI]

fiat lux !

That's uh...really disgusting. >_>;; and this is why I'm gay! well, besides the many, many other reasons. My first time is probably more embarrassing. I think you might need to either bribe me or get me drunk for me to tell you. It's...yeah.... Well, our offspring would probably be studious partiers, if we managed to find a way to give them half of our genes. So it might be good to cage them. BUT YES. We should adopt a little asian child. We could be like modern family! yes! I...yes. marathon runner sounds good. I don't know if my smoker lungs will be too happy about this, but I will be, and that's all that matters. I forgot how much I enjoy sex. ;__; FUCK CELIBACY.

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[BRENTLEY BOYD MILLER]

mastercheef.

I know. You just don't know how fucking happy I was the day you told me that you were gay. I almost jumped out of my fucking skin.You're gonna have to tell me. There's absolutely no way of getting out of it.

Oh. fuck yes. Great little family.

Your smoker lungs can suck it up tonight and yes sir! Fuck celibacy to the moon. Sex is great. Especially if it's with you.

OMG THANK YOU MOO MOO MAIZIE OF ATF.

[MAXWELL ADRIAN SOMMARTINI]

fiat lux !

Really? You were the first person I told and I was petrified that you were going to call me some choice names or be grossed out. Though, at the same time I figured you probably knew, considering I hit on you all the time. it was a relief, you have no idea. Ahhh, I'm not going to tell you about it yet. I think you really are going to have to get me drunk. It's...bad... At least my unwanted abstinence makes sex again that much better. Or...maybe it's just you. I'm not sure. Probably both.

BEATNIK BOY ! @ caution & atf

[BRENTLEY BOYD MILLER]

mastercheef.

Really, really. Y'know...I was so oblivious to you hitting on me. It never really struck me at all. then again, my attention span is that of a goldfish. At least they have great memory. haha. I was a bit intimidating. It's understandable that you'd worry about me saying things like that. You saw how I was in school after all.

I'm sure that I can get it out of you sober. I have my ways baby.

It may be both. I am pretty amazing.

OMG THANK YOU MOO MOO MAIZIE OF ATF.