After he’d tossed his phone at the wall, the sound of the phone and the wall colliding had startled the sleeping Jayden into soft cries. Hakeem was dealing with a mixture of heartbreak and anger into one. His destructive ways wanted to rear its ugly head into destroying every object in sight. However, due to Jayden being on his lap, he couldn’t express his anger in the way he felt would be best. ”Ughh, stop crying.” Hakeem muttered to the baby.
Looking down at Jayden, he tried to smile, but once he saw the small tear drop his eyes onto Jayden’s cheek, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold his emotions in for too long ”Fuck!” He groaned in frustrated, using his forearm to wipe away the tears rolling down his eyes. The last thing he needed was for Sierra to wake up and come down to see him in a weak stage of his life. He didn’t want nobody to see him like this… not even his own brother.
Tonight was a good night. Hakeem had persuaded her to actually get some sleep around the time that normal people slept. That, of course, meant that he would be up with Jayden whenever he woke up. Sierra decided to take him up on the offer, but of course, good things never stayed good for long. Hearing Hakeem’s voice rising, she growled lowly. ”Please shut up,” Sierra mumbled, but figured that he was too deep into his conversation to hear her. She didn’t know where Jayden was, but figured that he was sleeping and that was great, especially for the time. Hearing something crash into the wall opposite of her bedroom, Sierra rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She knew that something was wrong, but this was her sleep. Right now, the only person that disturbed her sleep was Jayden. She growled lowly as she began walking out of her room but slowed down when she could hear the frustration in Hakeem’s voice. Her first thought was that Zach called him tripping about him being here and that didn’t sit too well with Sierra at all. She walked out, finally, and took the crying Jayden from Hakeem’s hands and stared at him with much concern in her voice. Not only was Jayden crying, but so was Hakeem, ”If you need to go back to Vegas, I think you’d better leave before I’ve gotten pissed,” Sierra spoke before turning on her heels and rubbed Jayden’s back and went into the kitchen and began making the newborn a bottle. Okay, that was rude of her, but Sierra wasn’t in the mood. She let out a deep breath, ”Are you okay, Hakeem?”
Hakeem was about to just call for Sierra to come get Jayden so he could go for a walk. He needed to go out and clear his mind. Last thing he wanted to do was get upset and tear up her home in complete rage. Sighing, he bit down on his bottom lip to keep his emotions heavily pinned up inside of him and shake it off. It wasn’t important at all. He had to fall back to his old way of thinking – one bitch gone, a whole bunch of bitches out there to fuck. But sadly, he couldn’t do that. Not in this time around.
He heard the sound of footsteps making their way into the living room. Fuck, he thought, assuming it was Sierra coming. He felt his arms become lighter as she took Jayden out of his hands. Without replying to her “attitude”, he waved her off to go way and leave him alone to deal with his emotions in peace. ”I’m fine. I can handle myself.” He spoke with his voice raspy and soft. Clearing his throat, in case she hadn’t heard him, he repeated and waved her off again.
Sierra shook the bottle up and held it up to make sure that it was just right. Jayden would be sleep soon after he had burped, but that was only if he wasn’t agitated. Sierra stuck the bottle into the newborn’s mouth before heading into Jay’s room to retrieve a burping cloth and hanging it on her shoulder in preparation for when he finished the bottle. Sierra looked down to see the tears from Jayden’s face and sighed before leaving his room. She looked over to see Hakeem’s phone on the ground, noting that it was what he had thrown. ”Really?” She asked him, tilting her head a bit.”You can handle yourself, but sent the phone flying across the room, waking me up and startling Jayden?” Sierra looked at him for clarification. ”Hakeem, what’s wrong?” She asked for the final time. After this, she was done asking him and possibly caring. She looked down briefly at Jayden to make sure that he was okay, before diverting her attention back to Hakeem.
Her attitude wasn’t helping his mood none at all. He was doing all that he could to hold onto the last grasp of sanity to keep from losing his cool, ‘cause well… she wasn’t really the one he wanted to attack at this time. Sierra had nothing to do with the way Hakeem was feeling, the way his heart was hurting, and how dead he was feeling on the inside. Feeling the need to, he stood to his feet and paced around the room. He needed to keep himself occupied. The more he sat down and thought about it, the more he grew the impulses to destroy and break something around him—more specifically, a object of some sort.
”Because someone acts like fucking bitch, Homes, that’s why.” He snapped with the bitterness in his tone of his voice, even though it was obvious who he was referring to. Without even answering her question, he found himself venting about it anyway. ”Stupid motherfucka gonna call me talkin’ about sum, he knows what I’m doing here in Ashwick and how I’m going to manage getting back from Vegas to here, and then break up with me ‘cause he feels that’d make me happier off? Why the fuck did I even BOTHER givin’ that nigga a second chance, Ese? I ain’ never listening to no advice about sum follow your heart again, ‘cause that’s some bullshit ass advice. I wanna follow my guts, go to Vegas and whoop his stupid ass for making me invest my time into his worthless ass. Man, fuck him!” He bit down on his bottom lip as the anger once again boiled over. He was about to punch the wall next to him. But instead, he brought the palm of his hand against the wall and sighed, looking down at the ground as the tears began to fall freely from his eyes onto the floor.
Sierra shot a look at him when he said that someone was acting like a bitch. See, it was too early in the morning for him to make accusations like that. Sierra, at this moment, was being the bitch inside the house, but she had a damn good reason. But as he continued, she knew exactly who he was referring to. Sierra narrowed her eyes, feeling as though – once again – she was the problem. She looked over to the clock on the wall and saw that it was four in the morning. As she listened to Hakeem talk, Sierra took the liberty to begin burping Jayden. She couldn’t hold the young one and be with Hakeem at the same time. Hearing the soft burp erupt from the newborn’s mouth, Sierra walked back into Jay’s room and laid him on his back and placed the pacifier into his mouth. She made sure the baby monitor was on before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Cautiously, Sierra walked over to Hakeem and wiped the tears from his eyes. She looked at him, and sighed. She had never seen him like this, but Treasure had told her that his depressed states were probably the worst to witness. Unlike many people, Sierra felt as though it was important to be cool with the best friend because you learned about a lot of things. ”Look at me, Hakeem,” Sierra told him, sighing a bit. She didn’t know what to say. Her opinion with everything would sound biased, but she was biased. She didn’t care for Zach, she cared Hakeem. ”Going to Vegas to do anything to him won’t solve anything. If his mind is made up, you need to make up yours and move on. Whoever gave you that advice gave you some great advice, because hopefully, now, you can learn from this and just go on with life, Hakeem. I’m not Treasure; I don’t know what to say to you right now.” Sierra spoke honestly. She wouldn’t lie to him about it. ”I just know you don’t look too sexy crying right now.”
Getting that load of anger and hatred off of his chest made him feel a bit little better, but that opened up the chance for his sad emotions to fall over him now. He couldn’t hold them in for the sake of his pride, ego, and the way he was. He just couldn’t. All of his guard had dropped tremendously into showing this weaker side to her for the first time. He was coming to the terms that dudes were just as worse as females in a relationship; although, he would always find females grabbing most of his attention than a male in the long-run
He shook his head when she began to wipe away the tears from his eyes. ”I’m okay.” Besides showing his weak side, he still had the pride of being independent and able to act like he was fine, even though it was clear to see he wasn’t. That excuse wasn’t going to always work in his favor for too long, especially not with someone that knew things about him from either him, his actions, or Treasure’s big ass mouth. Slowly, his eyes moved over onto her face after she told him to do so. He took in her words and registered them into his mind carefully. However, and sadly, he was still too stubborn to listen to advice – or should I say, comforting words – to help him get over this. He cracked a small chuckle, wiping away his eyes. ”Yeah… you’re right.” He sniffed. At least he managed to get a small chuckle. That was a start, right?
Sierra rolled her eyes at him trying to tell her that he was okay. It was typical fashion, as she usually did the same thing when someone tried to comfort her. Sierra liked Nazir’s approach to her sensitivity. He usually just let her cry it out and get on her nerves later. It usually worked. But with Hakeem, she didn’t know exactly how to deal with this. She didn’t want to upset him any further, so she figured that laughter was probably the best medicine for them. She just wanted to take his mind off of the problem, but she knew it probably wasn’t going to be easy. ”Oh, I know I am. I’m sitting here looking like a typical Mexican,” she joked before playfully rolling her eyes. ”So is Hakeem in there? Because I really have an urge to kick his ass in some game right about now.”
The chuckle had lightened up his mood just a little bit. Not by much. He was still hurting, pissed off, and upset about the way things had unfolded. Happiness was just a load of bullshit to him at this point. Wiping his eyes, he looked towards Sierra with the redness around his pupil and looked elsewhere with a slight huff escaping his lips. ”Stop trying to make me laugh.” He palmed his face with his hands to keep from chuckling at her. After fighting off the urge to chuckle, his hands dropped down onto his lap and mentally tried to push his problems to the far back of his mind to try and get over it quicker. ”… What kind of games?’
”Sorry, it’s either this or I just stare at you and make you really uncomfortable because I don’t know how to comfort you without touching you.” Sierra shrugged with much honesty in her voice. It was her bluntness that she carried around for many purposes. She hadn’t dealt with a depressed person since probably Nazir. Unlike Hakeem, Nazir turned to drugs and ended up in jail. ”All the games that I can beat you in. If I can’t win we’re not playing. You know that,” Sierra smirked a bit. Sierra tilted her head at him and locked eyes with him, ”It’ll be okay. I promise.”
Hakeem would rather have her stare at him than trying to make him laugh. Even though, at this point, he wouldn’t have cared if she thought touching him would help bring him that comfort. Anything would be nice to push his mood out of this hole he got pushed into. It wasn’t like him to take something so serious, but things were suppose to be different this time around. Supposedly, that wasn’t the case. He was slightly quiet as she spoke, but he finally broke the ice berg to say something towards the games. ”I don’t care what we do.” He looked up into her eyes, giving a small nod of his head. "... I believe you."
”Good,” Sierra spoke with a small nod. ”Now get yo Mexican ass out my face.” Sierra laughed softly before moving and going into the kitchen. She had the sudden urge for something sweet and she couldn’t put it off. Remembering that Sarah had brought a pan of brownies over, Sierra grabbed it and took one of the brownies out, ”Would you rather lay down? And we can possibly go for a walk later.” She told him, noting that fresh air would be best for them all.
”Shut up,” He muttered under his breath with a light chuckle leaving his lips. He forced himself to sigh away most of the remaining frustrations that remained on the inside, not really having nothing more to say on that topic itself. He was still dealing with an upset heart, but he knew it’d be time before he gets over that… if only he had the patience to wait for that shit. Without her commenting, he laid down onto the couch, tucking his hands behind his head, staring up idly at the ceiling. At this time, her words went in one ear and right out of the other, as he focused more on getting his thoughts together than caring for what she said.
Sierra sighed a bit when he didn’t respond to her. She didn’t know what to do, but Sierra was only used to touching Hakeem. If they weren’t having a good time and playing with each other competitively, then they were in some way touching. Sierra put the brownie down and walked over to him. She saw him laying on the couch and went over and straddled him. ”You wanna talk?” Sierra ran her hands across his bare chest, while looking at him. She didn’t care about her hands. She was more into the massage that he was going to receive than him getting any other type of feeling.
You can get over this shit, Hakeem. You’re stronger than this. Don’t let it get you down. Hakeem thought in his mind, mentally trying to push every thought of Zach and their relationship to the far back of his mind and push forward the positive thoughts. He was thrown out of his thoughts when he felt a small amount of weight straddle onto him. Opening his eyes, his eyes immediately landed onto Sierra and sighed, shaking his head. ”Talk about what?” He positioned his hands onto each side of her waist.
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