TAG: STU | OUTFIT: CLICK |NOTES: I decided it could be after she's had the babyIt had been several weeks since she gave her daughter up for adoption. Joanie still had some of the baby weight on but she had started to lose some of it. She wondered how the little girl was doing, yes she had been given permission to see the little girl. She got pictures and letters. She held the first picture in her hand blond hair, her eyes changed to brown. Joanie wasn't sure but she could see alot of Stu in her. Joanie took the picture and placed it in the pocket outside of her flute case as she headed off to the park. It was a pretty late February day and the birds were chirping. She sat down on the bench as she watched the parents playing with their kids. A tear slipped down her face as she slipped the baby's picture out of the pocket just slightly. Joanie played her flute, the instrument she was best at.---------------------------------------that's the return to yourselfReturn to innocence
Stu hadn't really given much thought about his kid after she was given up for adoption. He was worried that it would consume his life, that he would be guilt stricken and unable to sleep because he missed his baby girl. That wasn't the case. If anything, he felt guilty for not feeling guilty over giving his kid up. Wasn't that supposed to be how these things went? Adoptions were never easy, particularly open adoptions, where there was a constant reminder that someone else was raising your kid, and you were supposed to be happy with it. He hadn't talked to Joanie in depth about how she was feeling about the situation, either, and that surprised him as well. Normally he was pretty compassionate when it came to serious things like another life, one that he had made. But for some reason, in the back of his mind, he was just glad this was all over.
He had been at his sister's place over night and decided he'd walk home and take the time to think about things. Not just the kid, not just Joanie. Everything. He just needed time to think. He cut through the park, his shoulders holding his puffy jacket up around his narrow shoulders. It was colder than he had anticipated, or maybe he was still tired, but that thought was quickly thrown out of his mind when he heard the sound of a flute and noticed it was coming from a familiar figure. His first instinct was to avoid her, to walk in the opposite direction and hope she hadn't seen him. But he couldn't do that. He had tried to do that when he first found out she was pregnant with his kid and that didn't work out so well. He breathed deeply, relaxed his shoulders, and invited himself to sit next to her. "Hey," he said shortly, shoving his hands into his pockets.
TAG: STU | OUTFIT: CLICK |NOTES: I completely stepped into Joanie's shoes writing this, made me tear up a bit . My Sweetheart.She had tried to get a bit caught up in the Irish inspired song she had been working on to help calm herself. It wasn't working like she had hoped, her mind had kept wondering. She kept telling herself it was for the best but why couldn't she believe it? Joanie Looked up as she heard a familiar voice. She looked over at him as she put her flute down, his dark hair and brown eyes. Stu, she hadn't talked to him much about their daughter since she was born. Joanie wasn't sure what to say, she wanted to talk about things so badly, her sisters were a bit of help but it just didn't seem to be enough. "Hey Stu" Joanie said in her soft voice.Part of her was happy to see him but she was really nervous too. She thought about everything that had happened before and during her pregnancy with him. Joanie looked down at her flute as she carefully ran her finger across the smooth surface."What..." She started to say, but her voice faded out.She looked up just slightly, her blue eyes making contact with his.---------------------------------------that's the return to yourselfReturn to innocence
She looked sadder than normal. Or no, maybe sad wasn't the best word. There was a heaviness about her though, a certain darkness that hadn't been there before. He was almost certain that it was because of the adoption. He adjusted his position so he wasn't completely facing her, he didn't want to be too intrusive after all. For all he knew she didn't want company and had come to the park to avoid talking to people. "Hey," he repeated himself, this time adding a smile.
Her reaction to seeing him was different, too. He couldn't help but feel a little unwelcome, if only because he had invited himself into her bubble unexpectedly. "I uh.. Haven't really talked to you since, you know. I've been wondering how you were doing?" He rubbed the back of his neck and adjusted his black leather jacket, so the collar kept his neck warm.
---------------------------------------------- tagged: joanie/shadow
notes: short as fuuuck.
TAG: STU | OUTFIT: CLICK |NOTES: aww poor Stu She saw him smile and Joanie blushed a little bit before a small smile crept across her face. Something about his smile made her feel a bit warm inside. She listened to Stu as he asked how she was doing. Joanie fiddled with her flute a little more. how was she going to answer that? She was quiet for a few moments."I wish I was better...." Joanie finally answered as she felt tears in her eyes she gave a quiet shaky breath.Joanie removed her hand from the flute she turned to Stu, she wanted to hold his hand or something but only got as far as skimming him. She didn't know if he wanted her to touch him. What if he was just going to run away again? Hide? Avoid her? What if he didn't even want to listen to her? If those were true why would he ask how she was doing? Joanie sat up straight and looked at Stu."Stu" She started shyly. "Can I ask you something?" She said as she freed her other hand but only to play with her sleeve a little bit. A habit she had that usually occurred when she was nervous or something was bothering her.---------------------------------------that's the return to yourselfReturn to innocence
He watched her fiddle with her flute in her hands and from that moment, he knew he wasn't going to be home for a while. Something was on her mind. He wasn't sure if she was going to tell him, but he was going to do his best to weasel it out of her. They may not have been together, but he had put her through hell. The least he could do was show some compassion once all was said and done. "Yeah..." he mentioned, nodding his head. He was going to continue, he just had to think of something else to say. "What's wrong" would have sufficed but could have come off as too cold, and he didn't want that. He wanted to comfort her, not alienate her even more.
Before he could continue, however, she turned toward him and said his name. She asked if she could ask him something, and he would have been lying if he said his heart didn't sink a little. He nodded, his mind screaming at his mouth for him to say something, but nothing was coming out. He watched her play with her sleeve, buying him time to mutter a quiet, "Yeah, go ahead."
He had been anticipating her question ever since they first hooked up. It was the sole reason he had continued to avoid her, after the initial awkwardness wore off. The first week went by, and then a month, then several months where he would avoid walking the same hallway as her. Of course they spoke sometimes -- there was no way around that. But if he could avoid small talk, he'd count it as a victory. He wasn't exactly sure why. He had never been one to "hit it and quit it." That's certainly not what he was trying to convey by his adamant avoidance of her.
He rubbed the back of his neck again and tried to come up with something that wouldn't sound completely rude. His sister had pointed out that he had no tact and he wasn't trying to hurt Joanie's feelings, not when she was feeling so down because of something he did to her. "It's not you," he groaned, his face turning red hot. "It's just like..." He readjusted his position but remained staring at the grass off to the side. "Like, I pussied out, I guess. I don't know. I had no idea how to react to something like this, you know? I'm sorry... I don't know what else to say."
Talking to Joanie about anything, even looking her in the eye, ever since the pregnancy had been extremely difficult for Stu. He wasn't in denial and he sure as hell wasn't one of those guys who wouldn't own up to his own mistake, if that's what he could call it. He wasn't going to deny that he had gotten Joanie pregnant, but he didn't know how to handle it. It had been so unexpected - even the conception had been unexpected - that he had no clue how to prepare himself. Fair enough, but he wasn't the only guy in that situation. His adamant avoidance of Joanie had snowballed into a compulsive addiction, almost. It's not that he would have been more comfortable not talking to her, it was that he experienced severe discomfort when he did. And for that, he felt terrible.
Especially now, that she was trying to so hard to fight back tears. He grimaced when she put her hand on his back. She meant well, he knew that much. She wasn't trying to freak him out, but there was no way he couldn't be freaked out. "I know, and I should have been there," he replied.
"This probably doesn't mean much, since everything is said and done now." He shrugged and inhaled deeply, trying to muster up the courage for what he was going to say next. "I feel like shit for playing you like that, and I'm sorry." Whether or not she accepted his apology was completely up to her.
TAG: STU | OUTFIT: CLICK |NOTES: she did forgive him XDJoanie held onto her instrument on her lap listening to him. She pushed a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. She looked back up at Stu wondering what was going on in his head, before she knew it he spoke. She listened closely pulling her legs up to her chest wrapping her arms around them. Her flute was caught between her abdomen and thigh as she grabbed onto the sleeve of the sweatshirt again, biting her lip. Joanie sniffled quietly. She listened to the way he spoke as he apologized, she lifted her head slowly with a slight glance at him.Joanie turned slightly as she opened up her flute case in order to put her instrument away. The baby's picture was still in the case. She looked at it as tears slipped down her face."She was unexpected Stu, everything was..." She started with a slight shake in her voice. "....I don't think either of us were ready..." Joanie finished softly as she bit her lip again.---------------------------------------that's the return to yourselfReturn to innocence
Stuart tried not to stare as he watched the girl fidget out of the corner of his eye. He should have been used to it by now. She was always folding herself up and picking at her clothing, fiddling with whatever was in her hands and all around being an extremely twitchy person. It made it difficult for him to relax, and after a while his shoulders felt tense. If she asked, he'd just blame it on the cold wind.
"I know, I know," he said through a long, deep exhale. He probably sounded more nervous than he did when she first let him know that she was pregnant. It made sense -- he had had the better part of a year to think and think and think some more, and eventually come to the conclusion that he was an enormous ass hole. "I know, and I should have been there with you."
TAG: STU | OUTFIT: CLICK |NOTES: Joanie is actually one of my hardest characters to play. I like the challenge of looking out of the box of my usual types of characters.Joanie looked away from the picture and then closed the case. She tried to relax her nerves she took a deep breath. Then put her feet on the ground and sat with her hands gently on her lap. She looked over at Stu."Are you okay?" She asked him concerned.Joanie looked at him as he said his next few lines. His voice sounded as nervous as Joanie had been. She intertwined her fingers on both hands on her lap. "If you still want to" She asked innocently as her hands clasped."You still can be" Joanie said blushing a moment before releasing her hands.---------------------------------------that's the return to yourselfReturn to innocence
"Yes, I'm fine," he said shortly, sounding much more stern than he wanted to or intended to. He said it as if he were trying to convince himself. But even if he wasn't fine, he had no idea what he wasn't fine about. Confused was the best word to describe him at that moment, and maybe guilty. He forced a half smile so she knew he wasn't upset with her, because that much he was sure about. If anyone had the right to be upset it was her, simply because he hadn't been there to support her for the majority of the pregnancy or adoption procedures. He was that guy,. But she wasn't upset with him as far as he could tell, and he appreciated it immensely.
Her response caught him off guard, mostly because he had no idea what it meant but judging from her tone he could infer what it might mean. He didn't want to assume anything. "What's that mean?" he asked, sounding as innocent as he could as his teeth chattered in the biting wind. How was she not freezing her ass off?
---------------------------------------------- tagged: joanie/shadow
notes: sorry for the wait! D:
TAG: STU | OUTFIT: CLICK |NOTES: Stu's got a new PB, who is this one? And sorry this took so long.Joanie listened to Stu ask the question. She thought about her words and blushed it did sound like exactly what she meant although she didn't exactly say it. She looked at Stu who's teeth seemed to be chattering as the wind hit. Joanie rubbed her shoulders."I was just wondering if maybe...we could... see each other more often." Joanie turned around to pack up her flute. "I'm sorry if it's too awkward.. I just really.." Joanie started the wind caught the baby's picture. She quickly closed the case and chased it down catching it, but not without some difficulty. She breathed relieved as she took a look at the blond female baby version of Stu. She walked back to the bench as she rubbed some dirt away from it.---------------------------------------that's the return to yourselfReturn to innocence