01. Schuyler Fisk - From Where I'm Standing From where I'm standing I think I caught your eye/ Are you looking at me? cause I swear I saw you smile/ And I'm coming over Gonna take things off your mind/ And I bet you'll be fine
Seeing her again brought back memories he’d thought he’d forgotten. Smiles he thought he’d lost. Laughter he couldn’t even bring himself to hear. And heart ache he thought he’d lost forever.
But just one look and he was at her heels again as if nothing had happened, not the million times she’s rejected him, not Grace, not even the year after.
Everything, for that one flickering moment that she smiled that half amused smile, he was back in the game.
02. Black Rebel Motorcycle – Shuffle You’re Feet
i never thought i'd see it comin'; i never thought i'd ever know/
nothin' seems to take me over, nothin' seems to let me go
He didn’t think it’d be that easy. He’d always known the magnitude of her control, the indescribable effect she had on him but he never thought it would be this easy, this effortless for her to waltz back into his heart with just one singular smile.
And just like all those years ago, he was consumed again. Nothing else mattered than for him to just bask in this short reprieve, this crippling sense of familiarity that was his love for her.
It didn’t matter that she refused; didn’t matter that she was just as annoyed as she’d always been; didn’t even matter that he was pushing himself back into a perilous journey of unending heart ache.
He was terrible at letting go.
03. The Maine – I Must Be Dreaming
She thinks I’m crazy, judging by the faces that she’s making/
I think she’s pretty but pretty’s just one of the things /
she does that amaze me
He throws a joke. She counters with a snide remark. He tries to smile. She rolls her eyes. He knew what she was thinking. He knew what she wanted. And yet all he could do was just stay there, clinging to the air, hoping for something that he knew would always remain nothing.
He was the insane love crazed fool. She was the unreachable dream. And yet losing her was unthinkable.
It wasn’t the smiles or the wit that made him stay after all; it was the small moments he’d catch her off guard; the little peeks into what laid underneath that brave and brilliant front; the girl she wouldn’t allow him to get near to.
04. The Cranberries – Linger
and i'm in so deep/ you know i'm such a fool for you/ you got me wrapped around your finger
She laughs, finally.
He didn’t know what to do. He just stared and gawked, his feelings as plain as the clouds on the sky – on his face.
And he wondered if she ever realized, if she ever even notices, or if she’s even aware, just how crazy he was about her. How desperately he’d wanted to say good bye before he ran off, how he wished on so many lonely nights, she would have asked him to stay.
05. Simian – Skin
you're on my mind all day and night/
i need your touch i ain't asking much
“I don’t think I could count the days I woke up from dreaming about you.” He told her, with that lopsided grin of his. It was the truth after all, embarrassing as it probably was. Fortunately, he’d never been the guy who was shy to tell the truth, well, maybe with anyone else but her.
“That sounds perverse, somehow.” She remarked with a straight face and he just couldn’t help but laugh as his heart crumbled a little.
”You still find it perverse if I say they happened to be all PG-13?” His expression hopeful; of course, most of those dreams were. He would never deny though more than that popped in on him on occasion.
06. Luluc – I Found You
How my heart is beaming like the sun/
And the moon, and the stars beyond/
I found you
“Still Insane, huh, Landrick?” She asked with that critical glaze in her hazel orbs and that barely there smirk which he could never tell whether it was approving or silently judging him.
He’d just force a grin and another chuckle, shrugging his shoulders almost proudly as if she should have expected nothing less. “Why would I ever change?”
And there she went, shaking her head again, hugging her things closer to her chest before surprising him by looking him directly in the eye and taking him seriously.
“Because that’s what normal people do.” She replied haughtily.
He chuckled, a loud genuine chuckle, as he skipped a few steps advances, twirling around before looking back at her and asked, “Exactly when have I ever been normal?”
She laughed and shook her head again, causing him to smile proudly back at her. But as soon as that soft melodious cheer reached his ears, she was already slipping away, muttering apologies and going the other way.
His heart skipping and deflating with every breath, his smile still clinging to his lips.
07. Stateless – Bloodstream
I think I might have inhaled you/ I can feel you behind my eyes/
You’ve gotten into my bloodstream/ I can feel you flowing in me
His feet had began to drag him on his own accord away from her, doing what his heart was to weak to make him do. His brain might have learned from his past mistakes but his heart surely hadn’t.
And just when he was so sure, he was going to stop listening to both.
It didn’t matter though. No matter how fast his feet walked, no matter what distance he put between the two of them, he would still be tethered to her somehow – a loose stray string tied around his neck – suffocating him with every second of every day with thoughts of her that it almost drove him insane.
08. The Pretenders – Brass in Pocket
i gonna make you see/
there's nobody else here/
no one like me
And one again, he found himself wondering, why the hell he was doing this to himself. What was the point when staying away was obviously impossible.