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lately, tiffany's mind been everywhere. she was lost. confused. unsure. she had no idea what was coming over her and it was driving her insane. she was highly tempted to pick up her switchblade and make a lovely vertical line against her flesh. but shockingly, she didn't. another coping skill that she stupidly forgot about. which was strange to her, to be honest. she had her sister, devin, in her life to talk to about her issues and whatever else that's been prancing around in that head of hers. she needed advice. she needed help. she needed her big sister more than anything right now.
<p>
pulling up to the gated residence, tiffany raked her fingers through the ends of her ponytail and inhaled, making her way through the gates and proceeded to walk to the front entrance of devin's home. sighing, she licked across her lips before chewing down on the right corner of her bottom lip and extended her index finger out, ringing the doorbell, hoping that devin was home.
<p>
so much was going on with the eighteen year older. school was around the corner, her senior year. the most pressure year of the school year. she was giving more hours at her job, which was affecting her social and love life. and to add to that, tiffany's mind was starting to play tricks on her. thoughts of a really good friend of hers, azario, was starting to lingering around. she was all over the place. she needed guidance.
<p>
hearing footsteps on the other side of the door, a sigh of relief left tiffany's lips and smiled faintly when the door open and a female figure was now in her view. pressing her lips together, she glanced at her sister, devin, and sighed softly. ...hi. she said, her voice drained and low.


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devin sat on the sand, glass in hand as she watched maxxie run around with draco and rocky on the beach. she smiled, resting her arm on her knee. to her, she was enjoying each day at a time. everyday was getting better. she had someone to thank for that. her smile grew bigger, thinking about her first date in four years. she never thought that she would ever see that day ever. her first day in four years with her best friend that is. <p> that night was perfect. it was simple and nice, but she really enjoyed herself. happy that she decided to take him up on his date and hoping that there would be soon. it felt like she was starting all over again. her feelings for him were strong, the love part...still something to work on. maybe one day she would let herself get there. the thought of thinking of being in love again wasn't something she excited for. <p> she loves tahj, she did. but she wasn't quite there of being in love. it was still too soon to even know if he was there yet. she was thinking too much about it. she took a drink from her glass, her tongue coming across her lips. looking up, she smiled as maxxie ran from the water coming back over to her. you okay baby? the curls bounced as her five year old nodded. mhm. devin laughed as the little one crash into her arms. <p> love you mommy. devin wrapped her arms around her, giving her a kiss on the forehead. love you too baby. she covered her face in kisses, making maxxie burst into giggles. she pulled away, hearing the doorbell going throughout the house. she stood up slowly, dusting herself off. c'mon boys! she whistled, and the dogs came running into the house along with maxxie. she wasn't expecting any company,making her wonder who it could be. she placed her glass on the counter before making her way to the door with rocky behind her. <p> standing up on her tiptoes, she saw her sister. a face that she was happy to see again. she unlocked the door, opening it with a smile across her lips. hey. it slowly started to fade, her eyes on her sister. something was off. come in, she moved out of the way, letting her in. she closed the door behind her, locking up. you okay? she wrapped her arm around her shoulders. <div style="width: 350px; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 9px; letter-spacing: 1px; font-family: tahoma; line-height: 100%; color: CD3333"><marquee>
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sighing, tiffany played with her fingers and smiled lowly to herself, hearing the dogs from the other side of the door and shook her head. her smile quickly turned into a frown as she looked down to her jordans and inhaled deeply, just thinking. hearing her sister's voice cause a small little smile on her lips again, lowly waving at her as she entered the house. tiffany glanced around the place and pressed her lips together, hearing the door clicked close and flinched at the touch of devin's arm around her shoulder. for some reason, it startled her. ..huh? she confusingly asked, not hearing what she said. well, she really didn't know if she did speak or not.
<p>
oh. yeah. i'm.. i'm fine. tiffany softly let out, glancing over at devin and gave her a false smile. how are you? she asked her, keeping her eyes on her older sister, chewing on the inside of her cheek, wanting to focus on her sister instead of her. for now.

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devin was a bit taken back that tiffany flinched at her touch. something was definitely off with her. i said you okay? that was a lie. she wasn't okay. there was nothing okay with her. she was going to care what was wrong with her. she was the only family tiffany had. she had to look out for her the best she could. she wanted to be there for her. she wanted all the attention off of her and onto devin. she knew that trick. she'll let her have it for now. <p> she nodded, pulling away from her. i've been good. she smiled at her. taking care of the little one. she walked towards the living room before going towards the kitchen. you want something to drink sweetie? she smiled, hearing maxxie yell out tiffany's name. the little one ran to her, wrapping her arm around her leg. well i see someone misses you. <div style="width: 350px; text-transform: lowercase; font-size: 9px; letter-spacing: 1px; font-family: tahoma; line-height: 100%; color: CD3333"><marquee>
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tiffany glanced over at devin as she spoke and just nodded her head. her lips wouldn't part. sighing lowly to herself, she then watched as devin made her way to the living room and soon after the kitchen, as she took baby steps over to the couch. .. no.. i'm good. thank you. tiffany lowly mumbled, her eyes darting ahead when she heard her name being called and before she knew it, her leg was being wrapped by the arms of her niece, maxxie. tiffany glanced down, creating a false smile on her lips. hey, maxxie. i missed you. she forced herself to say. though, she really did. her mood today was just being isolated.
<p>
seating herself on the couch, tiffany raked her fingers through her look, looking over at maxxie as she joined her and gave the young girl a smile before removing her eyes off of her and onto the television, staring at it blankly as her fingers nervously played with each other.
<p>
tiffany wanted to speak. she wanted to talk to devin and tell her everything that's been going on. but she can't. she couldn't find the words to say. she was stuck. frozen. it was like she's was being forced to stay quiet and she hated it. this feeling was disgusting. ...dev.. she finally mumbled out, not knowing if her sister heard her or not. tiffany closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, counting to ten in her head and parted her lips, getting ready to say something else. but instead, a low sigh left her lips as her eyes began to swell and next thing tiffany realized, she was hiding her face in her palms as the back of her hands touched her lap and.. and tears falling trickling down her face. she was crying. she didn't know what else to do. but to cry and hope that this will solve all of her problems.

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devin went on to pour herself another glass a wine. she placed everything away and wrapping her fingers around the glass. taking a slow sip, she walked over to her bay doors, closing them up. she heard tiffany say her name, making her look back. yeah? but nothing. nothing came from her lips. what was going on? nothing was right. right at all. she wanted to know what was bothering her. this wasn't tiffany. not the one she's got to know and love. everything was off. <p> mommy. something's wrong with auntie tiffany. she heard max this time before making her way over to the couch with rocky behind her. she frowned, looking over at her sister. tiff… she sighed, placing her glass on the table in front of them. her hand resting against her back, rubbing it up and down slowly. she didn't want to see her like this. what was happening? <p> tiffany. she spoke softly, wanting to get her attention. what is it babe? her hand still ran over her back, hoping to sooth her. whatever it is, you can tell me. anything. she wanted to assure her that she had nothing to be afraid. she could talk to her if she had to. rant if you have to. i'm here. her eyes looked over at maxxie, nodding towards the steps. the little one nodded, doing what she was told with the pups going behind her to leave the sisters alone for awhile.
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once again, her body flinched at the slight touch of devin's hand running up and down her back, causing tiffany to inhaled deeply and exhaled lightly as she shook her head. still with her face burying against her palms, tiffany sniffled as tears continued to trickle down her face. she couldn't understand why all this was happening. she was never one to cry about her issues. she was always the one to confront them and move along. but for some reason, this was too much for the young girl to handle and control.
<p>
she heard her name being called again and shook her head, not wanting to look up and face her own sister, looking like this. she felt somewhat embarrass. she didn't want devin to see her like this. to see her in this emotional stressed state. this was her first time seeing tiff like this. tiffany inhaled deeply, grazing her fingers across her face, wiping away the fallen tears and inhaled deeply, her head shaking side to her as she started to speak. well, mumble. i can't do this anymore. this is too much for me to handle. it's driving me.. it's driving me fucking crazy. i'm drained. work is kicking my ass. hours after hours after hours... she paused to take a deep breath and shook her head once more. i.. i give up. i don't wanna do this anymore, devin. it's too much for me. too soon. she finished, finally looking up and over at devin, swaying her fingers across her face. it's hard.


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what was going on in her head? if she needed to cry, then she would let tiffany cry. cry herself out until she got tired. sometimes it makes you feel better, getting it all out. her hand continued to run up and down her back soothingly. whatever it was that she was going through, they would get through it together. not caring how long it would take her, devin was going to be there for her. she heard her cries, hearing her speak. she was stressing. it was something that she could understand. she's been down this road before. sighing softly, their eyes met, and devin smiled faintly at her. she wiped her tears away before reaching over for her hand. <p> growing up in the house with their parents, everything was hard for devin. she had to defend herself while on the other hand, tiffany had it easy. so now, she was dealing with everything and it's breaking her down. everything is going to be hard. it's not always going to be easy. she started. you have to keep moving on, even when your days get tough. take a step back, deep breath and just relax. mom and dad, she laughed lightly, shaking her head, they were never any help. she sighed. you just can't quit. you can't. you're stronger than this. i know it. at your age, i was pregnant and engaged. she smiled. i mean i wasn't the best person, but i grew up and took on every obstacle that was fuckin' thrown at me. i'm stronger because of it all. her thumb ran across her knuckles. if i can do it, i know you can.
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tiffany inhaled, keeping her eyes on her older sister, but felt them fluttered when she reached over, swaying them away. she pressed her lips together, eyes slowly looking down at her hand now holding hers . she chewed on the left corner of her bottom lip, trying to force herself to stop crying. but, the tears continued to trickle down her face, nonstop. she shook her head, wishing that this will all go away. this was killing her. she couldn't handle this. any of this. it was so much.
<p>
she listened as devin talked. but between you and i, her words wasn't coming clear to her. she couldn't pay any attention to what her older sister was telling her and that bugged her. tiffany knew that , at one point, devin was also in the position. so, this, her words, her advice could help her. but, her mind wouldn't let her focus on it. she was growing a little irritated by it. tiffany inhaled, shaking her head, locking her eyes on dev's. it's just so much, devin. i'm not used to this. i always had mom and dad helping me. now. now, i'm alone, on my own. and i . don't know what to do. she told her, tears still trickling down her face. i don't know what to do anymore.

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of course, she had mom and dad helping her with everything. she was the lucky one, well, in devin's eyes she really wasn't. devin was the lucky one not to deal with their parents. being on her own made her a better person. she didn't want to throw that in her face, but she wanted her to know that when you're on your own it's not a bad idea, but she wasn't alone. she had devin. if she ever needed anything, she could come to her. <p> then stop doing what you're doing. take a break from it all. she sighed softly. you're still young. enjoy your teenage years. don't grow up too fast. you'll regret it.
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closing her eyes and she wiped the tears away, tiff licked across her lips and inhaled deeply, fingers running through her hair and exhaled lightly as she slowly opened her eyes and glanced over at her big sister as she spoke. hearing her say those words, made tiff cringed a bit. she couldn't do that. she couldn't take a break from work. she couldn't take a break from her relationship. she couldn't take a break from back back and forth to the doctor's. well, she could, for a few of them. but, would that be helpful? she didn't believe so.
<p>
i can't do that, devin. i can't stop doing what i'm doing. i don't wanna slack off and disappoint. she lowly said, inhaling softly, keeping her eyes on her sister as she shook her head. you make it sound so easy to just sit back and catch a breather. she let a low chuckle leave her lips. i'm just taking everything to deep in the ass. stressing for no reason, probably. tiffany said with a shrug of her shoulders and looked away from devin for a minute or two and looked back at her, arching an eyebrow. how you do it, devin? how you go through so much and manage to make it this far in your life?

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tiffany was young, and devin knew that it was going to be hard for her to take any of her advice. she was going to do what she wanted to do, and devin wasn't going to stop her. she could take whatever the adult had to say to her or leave it. it was all up to her. devin could say so much before shutting up and letting the girl do her. she just wanted to see her sister happy and not depressed. it wasn't fun. she wants to help her sister she did, but she had to stop making excuses, stop feeling sorry for herself and just grow up. maybe devin was being a bit heartless, but that's how she felt about it all. she blamed her parents for all of this. <p> she looked at the teenager next to her. she wanted to know how she did it. her fingers ran over her hair, shrugging her shoulders. i grew up. wayyyy before my time. she smiled faintly, looking ahead. i was on my own since i was seventeen. i did everything i had to do just to get by and then i had lucas. she nodded, turning her eyes back to her. even when he was around, i was so used to being just me and doing me. yeah, i'm a rich kid, but i didn't have mom and dad there everyday like you. they came around when they wanted to make sure i was taken care of. so you have a little bit of learning to do. you'll have to just take baby steps. you shouldn't burn yourself out so fast. you're gonna have to let something go. you have to make that choice of what.
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tiffany pressed her lips together and inhaled, glancing down at her fingers and played with it. chewing on the inside of her cheek, she closed her eyes again and parted her lips, inhaling deeply and exhaling from her nose. so many thoughts was roaming in her mind. mostly the "what ifs". what if her parents haven't spoiled her, would she be going through this today? what if she didn't have parents like the ones she has now, what then? would she still go through this or would everything be okay. normal for an eighteen years old? and much, much more. in the back of mind, she sorta in a way.. blame her parents for this. for being on their hands and feet for her and not letting her grow on her own. was that wrong? to blame your struggles on your parents?
<p>
she listened carefully to what devin was saying as she continued to play with her fingers, keeping her mind at ease. sniffling, she ran her fingers across her face and pressed her lips together, chewing on the right side of her bottom lip and nodded her head. hearing devin made tiffany realized that devin had it better than she did at her age. minus the pregnancy and the issues that she went through. but because she left and grew up at a young age. younger than tiffany, seventeen. licking across her lips to moisture them, she nodded her head again. i know. she mumbled, fingers going through her hair and sighed, closing her eyes for a few seconds, thinking exactly of what she will let go and how she would do it. she inhaled and shook her head. it was hard. it was going to be a hard choice but hopefully, it would also be a good one. question is, which one would she let go?
<p>
life's a bitch sometimes. she manage to let out a chuckle as she shook her head.. it really was, shoot.


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she wanted what she told her to get through her head. she wanted her to take her advice and take the time to just sit back and think. she didn't need to be giving herself premature wrinkles. she didn't need to see her sister becoming stressed out at her age. she needed to go out, have fun, and just enjoy her few years left of her teenage years. she didn't want her to lose out on that. this was the only life that she got. she just wish that their parents weren't one way with one child and then another way with the other. it was stupid, but it was in the past and nothing to dwell on now. <p> raking her fingers through her hair, her eyes stayed on tiffany. devin didn't want her to have to grow up now when she didn't have to. she really didn't. not yet at least. she nodded, giving her a small smile. she brought her hand over, resting it against her back, giving it a rub. <P> she chuckled softly, nodding. yes. yes it can be. but you'll get through it. she gave her a reassuring smile. and if you need anything, i'm always here.
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pressing her lips together as her fingers now played in her hair, tiffany glanced over at devin, giving her a light smile and looked ahead, placing her eyes on the television, letting her mind scatter away in thoughts and concerns about her future. what would she let go? was the biggest question right now. her job, her studies, her relationship with tristan? all three choices that matters so much to her and all three, well mostly two choices that had her stressing. a lot. well, another choice would be her life, but, that's out of the question. probably. shaking the thoughts off, she glanced back at devin and sighed lowly, not knowing what else to say. well, she did. but, that can wait. <p> tiffany chuckled along with devin and nodded her head, bringing her eyes back on hers and smiled when she spoke. i know i will. she assured her big sister and smiled again at her next response. thank you. she said, leaning over and embracing her big sis in a hug. for being here. after all these years. and, she really meant it.


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devin smiled, don't have to thank me. it's the truth. she sighed, feeling her wrap her arms around her. making her do the same, she gave her a slight squeeze. hearing the last part of her comment made the older woman smile. it was surprising to her that she got on very fast with the teenager. never knowing a damn thing about each other and the day tiffany showed her face at her doorstep, it changed devin's life. it was good to have more family around her. the thought of having of a younger sister was reminding her of her and her sister jennifer. <p> now it was her turn to play the role for tiffany. pulling away slowly, she sighed. you're a smart girl. you'll know what to do. she gave her a nod. she knew that tiffany would be okay. she had nothing to worry about.
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tiffany smiled, looking over at her big sister and nodded. well, if you say so. she playfully shrugged her shoulders and chuckled lightly, tilting her head to the side. she let out a soft sigh of relief and raked her fingers through her hair, glancing around the house and back onto devin, a soft smile gracing her lips. tiffany was happy to have devin in her life. she never had a older figure in her life. so, she was very grateful and blessed that devin accepted her, after everything that had happened in their home with their parents. which honestly still confused tiffany. she still has her nights, thinking why they kept devin away from her and vice versa. but, that didn't matter. it shouldn't, anymore. dev's in her life now. that's all it counts. so, to think about it, tiffany was kinda glad that her parents hid her from her. cause who knew what would've happen if both knew each other in the past, right? <p> nodding her head, tiffany smiled once more and looked over at dev. i get that a lot. she chuckled softly, looking away from her for a split second, to gather her thoughts and looked back at her. enough about me. how are you? and maxie? she smiled, pulling this attention out on her and onto devin. anything new going on with you?


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<br><br><b>note</b>; [hush mode] || <b>wearing</b></marquee>
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devin rested her legs beneath her, reaching for her glass that was on the table. she took a drink before placing it back. fingers going through her hair, just thinking about everything that was happening. it would always go back to her parents and thinking what the hell did she do so badly that made them push her away. yeah, she was rebellious and yes, she dealt with a lot of shit in her short lifetime. the hell she basically went through, her attack, the drugs, her older sister dying and her parents never being there for her. she wanted them to be there. but now, she was a mother to the greatest little girl she could ever have in her life: her daughter and now, she was being the big sister to tiffany. something she would have never see herself doing, but she wouldn't have it any other way. <p> she sighed, pushing her hair back, looking over at tiffany. she smiled, giving her a nod. i'm good. we're good. it's the same with us, all day every day. she chuckled softly. it was just sunny days for them. hanging out on the beach, watching movies and just doing whatever. luckily, her mother was being sweet enough and was paying for everything that she had and didn't have to work a day in her life. she sighed softly, smiling. i've been dating. a close friend of mine. she nodded. it's going good.
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<br><br><b>note</b>; eeek || wearing</marquee>
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