Description: EUREKA - staff etc.
Derren Ausburn - July 23, 2011 09:42 AM (GMT)
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<div style="font-family: wire one, arial narrow; font-size: 83px; letter-spacing: -3px; line-height: 100%; color: C53163;">eureka !</div><br>
Eureka is a popular adult club offering nightly stage shows with private one to one topless and nude dancers. Should you wish to view our 'a la carte' menus, as it were, all you've got to do is ask. Eureka also has a five star restaurant and valet parking.
<div style="background-color: ffffff; padding: 10px; margin: 15px; text-align: justify; font-size: 8px;">code: <a href=http://francosity.tumblr.com/>katie</a> @ <a href=http://forums.athousandfireflies.com/>atf</a></sup></div></div>
<div style="font-family: wire one, arial narrow; font-size: 63px; letter-spacing: -3px; line-height: 100%; color: C53163;">WELCOME !</div><br>
<img style="border:2px dotted #C53163;" src="http://i50.tinypic.com/2eygt29.jpg" align="right" width="75"> "<i>Ladies and gents, welcome to Eureka. Ashwick's top adult night spot. We have stunning girls and guys to suit your every whim and fancy. Whether you want a flirt or a full on session, we're sure that our boys and girls can satisfy you in ways you never quite imagined. I'm Derren Ausburn- but you'll hear me being referred to as 'Big Daddy' by my boys and girls- I own this place. Literally. Own it. As in- its mine, my property, my baby, my staff who I care for very dearly. My rules are there for a reason, abide by them and we'll remain on good terms. Break them-- I'll break you.<br><br>
All of our boys and girls are required to have a health check before joining us and regular checks beyond this as part of their contract. We do NOT accept play without protection. There is CCTV in operation, we have panic buttons located in numerous areas, and we have undercover security on stand by for our dancers safety and indeed your own. Eureka is registered and legal... Everyone knows about us so trying to sabotage won't get you anywhere ; )</i>"<br><br>
<div style="font-family: wire one, arial narrow; font-size: 63px; letter-spacing: -3px; line-height: 100%; color: C53163;">OPENING HOURS !</div><br>
<div style="font-family: wire one, arial narrow; font-size: 63px; letter-spacing: -3px; line-height: 100%; color: C53163;">CLUB RULES !</div><br>
<b>Rule #1: Time is Money</b><br>
In spite of the sequined bras, jock straps come hither looks, and lacy garters... this is still a business. If you don't keep the dollars flowing, dancers will have to move upstream for better bait. It's nothing personal, but if you were a car salesman, would you waste your time and energy on someone looking to buy a Gremlin if you had a room full of potential Porsche purchasers? Although they show their skin to make a living, they are there to make a living. No one enjoys working for free so, if a dancer smiles at you and gets up from your table to sit at another, don't curse him or her; have empathy. We all have bills to pay and we all need bills (particularly fifties and hundreds) in order to pay them.<br><br>
<b>Rule #2: Don't Try to Get a Date</b><br>
Consider visiting a strip club to be the ultimate date. Your date laughs at your jokes, sympathizes about your horrible boss and, when a good dance number comes up, strips his or her clothes off in front of you. Chances are, you won't be getting that lucky with dinner and a movie. Aside from your late night dreams, the only place you're likely to have this happen is under black lights in our club.<br><br>
<b>Rule #3: Stay Reasonably Sober</b><br>
Alcohol can turn the most mild-mannered accountant into a drooling, wiggling, pants-dropping idiot. Alcohol makes ordinary men want to wear bras on their heads and dance like Madonna. Liquored men will jump on stage and proceed to strip. Hey, that's our job! Alcohol also provokes such memorable lines as, "You have more legs than a bucket full of fried chicken," and, "your nipples make me want to go home and slap my wife." Topless dancing can be a very private experience, but you're still in public. Watch your alcohol intake, and if you need to throw up run, don't walk, to the nearest bathroom to do it... don't use the stage or a dancer's shoes.<br><br>
<b>Rule #4: Touch... and go.</b><br>
Different clubs have different standards, but when a dancer tells you a rule, pay attention! We have a strict "touch and go" policy. Touch a dancer and you go. Bouncers and managers can't see everything, but you never know who you are grabbing. You probably don't want to have to explain to your wife that your black eye resulted from grabbing the butt of a stripper with a mean left hook. Trust us when we say- ours will lash out when threatened. OR, they'll... be calling one of our burly security guards over- and you REALLY don't want to piss off Big Daddy, he'll string you up by your genitals as soon as blink at you if he thinks any of his boys or girls are uncomfortable. Just... be wary of your actions. Keep your hands to yourself- unless... you want to pay good money.<br><br>
<b>Rule #5: Just Because They Get Naked Doesn't Mean They're Brainless</b><br>
Don't fall off your chair in shock if they know who the speaker of the house is, or who won the NBA tournament, or the true meaning of existentialism. Not all dancers are rocket scientists, but they don't all drink rocket fuel, either.<br><br>
<b>Rule #6: If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Anything at All</b><br>
This is a basic school yard rule but it's also a rule for dancers. A classy dancer will never slam or belittle fellow dancers. So don't comment about other dancers to the one you're with. Cutting down one dancer will not bring you up in another's eyes. If a certain dancer doesn't appeal to you, simply smile and say no thank you. It's a business of rejection and they understand that they're not going to appeal to everyone who walks in the door... just like not every customer who walks in the door appeals to them. But be nice.<br><br>
Derren Ausburn - July 23, 2011 10:07 AM (GMT)
STAFF AND WHATNOT GONNA GO HERE!!
Derren Ausburn - July 23, 2011 11:12 AM (GMT)
SHIPPER REPLY FORM HUR?
-hoarding posts like a boss-
ANTONIO DE ROSSI - July 31, 2011 09:56 PM (GMT)
As your local police officer, im going to have to shut this operation down. :P
ERIN LÉVESQUE - August 2, 2011 09:03 PM (GMT)
erin here has come to ashwick to finally get a legit job as a bartender for eureka. (:
ANTONIO DE ROSSI - August 3, 2011 02:36 AM (GMT)
im going to make a new guy to be head of security/bouncer.
Elliot Avery - September 3, 2011 03:40 PM (GMT)
ehh eheh heh ; )
Ohai security guard.
Nathan Walsh - October 13, 2011 10:45 PM (GMT)
Just gonna give this a curt kick up the butt |:
LEIGH JONES - October 26, 2011 09:23 PM (GMT)
Leigh would like to be a dancer. She needs money. So yeah.
Nathan Walsh - October 28, 2011 09:33 AM (GMT)
Sounds great :D
We should thread Derren and her... perhaps having an audition or something :)
ROSELYN WHITE - October 28, 2011 03:56 PM (GMT)
Sure I would love a thread with him, I am fine with audition thread :)
Derren Ausburn - December 26, 2011 08:20 PM (GMT)
...must get ass in gear |:
EMMA CARTER-ROUX - December 27, 2011 01:04 AM (GMT)
my Emma needs a job outside of her modeling gig. She's not doing any dancing for anyone but her wifey, so Bartender ? need one ? ta da
my gavin can be the technician for the sound/lights/all that stuff
Buick Bahe - March 3, 2012 02:39 PM (GMT)
RORI ILLIANO-LOPEZ - March 4, 2012 05:26 AM (GMT)
I'm so not changing accounts but I have Damien (de Laurentis) listed as a strip club bouncer so if you want someone to plot with and wouldn't mind him sliding in there he's free for the taking XD.
I also might bring back my Ieza who is a stripper with a lot of daddy issues lol, if you wanted to talk about potential plots there before I decide if I want to bring her back then feel free to grab me on AIM circusdiabolique
Adam Moyer - March 4, 2012 08:53 AM (GMT)
Sounds pretty epic!! I really need to get my ass in gear... I've been sayin that for ages 0-0 ROFL!
I shall add you :3 We shall plot epicness.
PHOEBE CHASE - March 4, 2012 04:30 PM (GMT)
stripper at yo' service
Derren Ausburn - August 23, 2012 05:50 PM (GMT)
ALANNA RIZZA - August 24, 2012 02:01 AM (GMT)
so, lanna here needs some income - she can totally be a dancer, no shame, she'd be up for it .
Derren Ausburn - October 27, 2012 07:46 PM (GMT)
Accepted! She got some appeal (; Hoyeah.