|
This is something Sammy and I fleshed out last night after All Hell Breaks Loose (Part 1)
----------
Dean stood over his brother's body as it lay out on the huge stack of wood he'd assembled for the funeral pyre. It was Sam's makeshift wake with a mourning party of one. Sinking to sit on a flatted rock, Dean stared over to the corpse and started to talk to it… to Sam… as if he could still hear him.
"Its bullshit Sam. You're not. You're not dead. Do you hear me? I understand…" Face crumples, "I understand now why Dad did what he did now. I'm cutting the goddamned deal."
A voice came to his mind; Dean fancied it was what Sam might say back. As he sat there talking with Sam – who in his mind was sitting up, speaking, pale and blood stained. Dean guessed it was the beginning of his decent into madness.
So he ran with it.
""No, you'll find another way."
"Ten years... it's not a bad stretch of road, for a guy in my line of work."
"It's not how it's supposed to be."
"You're right. And I'll go now to put things back in their natural order. You dad, all of it."
"No Dean. Maybe it's better I'm dead."
"You're not dead do you hear me?!"
"Don't make that deal, Dean. Ten years is so little, it might seem long but... it's nothing."
"What am I supposed to do Sam? I can't do this alone. I won't."
"I don't want you to throw away what you have. To you, it may not seem like much, but it's enough to go on."
If things were reversed, can you honestly tell me you'd do anything differently?"
"I would've already made a deal."
"There you go."
"I don't want you to. Believe me, if this had happened long before. You'd still have Dad, still have something more."
"And you'll have ten years to remind that I made a mistake."
"I want this."
"Bullshit. I can't have that. You "stay dead", I retire plan and simple." He reaches around behind his back for the .45
"Then retire, Dean. It's what I want. You to be done with this, get that sense of freedom you've wanted. Walk away..."
He almost lays weapon down but stops mid-motion, standing up.
"To what? What the hell do I have Sam? I don't have a friend in the world, a house, hell in most states I'm already dead. The FBI has me in their top 100 and what, what'd I have? A car? Trunk load of weapons?"
Dean throws his hands up, kicking the bumper off the Impala.
"I have nothing! I can't do this alone Sam!"
"Then make it Dean. Damn it, make it into something. All those years you kept what you wanted shadowed by Dad! All those ambitions, dreams.. Then he went missing. All you hinted at was getting away from the job, living a life far away from dark corners. Constantly shining a flashlight on a world no one even knows about. Cash out.."
"Exactly what I plan to do."
"Not with me. Not with dad. You bring us back, it owns you."
Dean lowers his head, "maybe it already did."
"You can do it without me, hell you did it for two years. I know Dad wasn't there all the time so don't use the bullshit excuse you had him to lean on. I know, it's hard; with everything that's been taken from us, from you. I don't want to be the reason it finishes us off by getting you. NO Dean. Bury me, and walk away."
Dean's eyes slam closed at the bloody image of his brother pleading for him to let go. He screams clutching his head, falling to his knees, finally crying - the noises like an injured animal begging to be put out of its misery.
Sam's apparition moves closer to his brother, hand hesitating before falling along shoulder. Grip tightens in gesture. Taller stature takes a knee beside Dean. Letting knees sink into the dampened mud.
"Just let me go."
Sam drew back, Dean's head lifting to look at him through his tears. Sam's head tilted to the side as his eyes watered, but remained steady.
"…Jerk"
Dean's eyes closed, his hand running over his face. He smiled a ruined smile and opened his eyes to say "Bitch." But Sam was gone. The body was all that remained.
--
Bobby stood in the distance with Ellen. The pair watched without drawing any nearer. They both knew what Dean was going through.
"I don't think he's coming back from this one El."
"Then this world really is gonna tear itself apart."
|
Sam's Funeral, All Hell Breaks Loose
