February 18, 1882
[dohtml]<head><link href='http://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Pinyon+Script' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'></head><center><div style="width: 400px; border-top: 18px solid #6A5157; border-bottom: 18px solid #6A5157; border-left: 2px solid #6A5157; border-right: 2px solid #6A5157; background-image: url(http://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k527/whimsicalmoon/3392493624_34c63968bd.jpg); background-repeat: repeat;"><br><div style="width: 300px; background-color: #506278; border: 1px dotted #C2B2B3;"><div style="width: 300px; height: 278px; -moz-border-radius-topright: 25% 25%; border-top-right-radius: 25% 25%; -moz-border-radius-bottomleft: 25% 25%; border-bottom-left-radius: 25% 25%; -moz-border-radius-topleft: 25% 25%; border-top-left-radius: 25% 25%; -moz-border-radius-bottomright: 25% 25%; border-bottom-right-radius: 25% 25%; background-image: url(http://i1114.photobucket.com/albums/k527/whimsicalmoon/2d2gdt2.jpg); background-repeat: no-repeat;"></div><div style="width: 300px; font-family: 'Pinyon Script', cursive; font-size: 20pt; color: #C2B2B3; line-height: 65%;">who is the lamb?<br>who is the knife?</div><div style="width: 275px; font-family: Century Gothic; font-size: 9pt; color: #dddddd; text-align: justify; line-height: 95%;">Lilyana toyed nervously with the fleur de lis necklace that Octavius had given her. She’d worn it every day since it was gifted to her. She was still getting used to the fact, however, that she was in love with a man she hardly knew. She never used to believe in love at first sight, but that was the most appropriate phrase to describe what was happening between her and Octavius. There was an undeniable connection between the two that she had finished trying to pick apart. If this was God’s plan for her then so be it. There were much worse things that could happen. Like the fact that Lucian Allaird was black mailing her.
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She tried not to think about it, but it was hard. She was being forced to do things that most women reserved only for the men they would wed. While true that she hadn’t slept with any man, she was certain that at some point she’d be forced to. She dreaded the thought of giving her maidenhood to anyone but Octavius, the man she loved. Would he love her if he knew what she’d done? How she’d exposed her body to lecherous men? Probably not. The thought of him finding out made her heart ache. No. Octavius would not find out. She wouldn’t let him. She’d continue to do Mr. Allaird’s bidding until he got bored of her and moved on. She could only hope that the moment would come swiftly.
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Letting a sigh pass her plush lips she looked at her grandfathers pocket watch that had been gifted to her since she was the only child of the Orlov family. It was just about time for Octavius to make his appearance. Her gut fluttered at the thought of seeing him again. She feared he’d try once more to break off whatever it was that they had. She certainly hoped he wouldn’t, but she still had her fears. After all, he hadn't been exactly easy to convince that whatever was going on between them was a good thing. He’ been resistant, but he seemed to realize now that they could have something special.
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The waitress tried once again to take her order, but Lilyana just told her that she was still waiting for her friend to arrive. She couldn’t exactly be honest about who she was waiting for. Could he even be considered her lover? Nothing about their relationship was exactly conventional. From what she’d heard, they had nothing close to a courtship. But there was love between them and to her that was all that mattered. She couldn’t care less about abiding the laws of what was considered proper. It was an odd thought that she didn’t care, for the seamstress was always proper. But she was madly in love, and that did crazy things to someone.
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The bell of the door tingled to indicate that someone walked through the door. She turned and saw that it was Octavius and smiled broadly as he caught her eye. She gave the smallest wave, her cheeks heating up just by seeing him. Oh what did he do to her? She thought of him every moment of the day, left with a near constant fluttering in the gut. She daydreamed about becoming Mrs. Weasley. Such childish fancies she had and she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was in love when she never thought she’d get to experience it. What a joyous thing it was.
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