[dohtml]<center><div style="width:400px; line-height:120%; text-align:justify; font-family:georgia,times,serif; font-size:11px;"><div style="width:400px; text-align:center; text-transform:lowercase; font-size:15px; color:#578893; height:25px; letter-spacing:6px; font-style:italic; transform: rotate(90deg); -ms-transform: rotate(90deg); -webkit-transform: rotate(90deg); -o-transform: rotate(90deg); -moz-transform: rotate(90deg); position: relative; right: -210px; top: 230px;">i found the curse to growing older</div>
ooc: niamh's almost definitely given ainsley permission to call her whatever the hell she wants<p>

Niamh rarely left her crapshack for things other than work and selling her drawings at conventions. She visited Cillian and her nieces and nephews, sure, but only when she was sure she wouldn't run a risk of running into Evander and either forgiving him in a moment of weakness or killing him in a blind rage. Niamh was too pretty to go to Azkaban, even though she had heard that the prisoners there had very little contact with one another. <p>

Niamh supposed it was ironic, that her own courtship had fallen to a similar fate as Ainsley's. Happy relationships, looking as though you would end up spending the rest of your lives together. Then- bam! The guy ends up being a total prick. Never mind that her own boy may have been under the influence of love potions, and Evander could have just made a stupid mistake. Neen had decided she was never forgiving either of them, even though Evander had finally returned. <p>

Despite her desire to sit in her house and draw, Niamh had a date to make. She put on a blue gown and hat, smiled at herself in the bright letter she had installed in the crapshack bathroom, and walked to a small cafe on High Street, not the one where a brawl had occured. Not spying her fellow lonely lady, she sat at a small table and studied her fingernails, wondering aimlessly if Ainsley knew that her brother was in Hogsmeade.
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Sometimes it was hard for Ainsley to go and see Niamh, though the two girls had been close for a long time. Years now and while her friend made her think of her lost love, it was harder to get along without Neevy in her life. Ainsley had moved on for the most part, started painting in color again, was getting back out into society, which was harder than she imagined. People gave her time, but she needed more than they thought was acceptable to mourn a broken engagement. The social ramifications of being a recluse for so long were greater than she imagined, but things were slowly returning to normal.

Well, except for the huge hole in her heart.

Some days were better than others. Just today she and Aengus had enjoyed a nice long ride in the crisp air. Riding had always been something she enjoyed and her brother had been very patient in waiting for her to come back around. Things were starting to look up and while she wasn't looking to court anybody at the moment, Ains could still enjoy the parties, chat with her girlfriends and generally have a good time.

Seeing Neevy though was always a pleasure and the two girls were so a like in so many ways, but different enough to consistently have things to talk about. They gossiped, shared fashion advice and were frequent shopping buddies.

Aengus had very kindly walked her to the cafe she and Niamh had agreed to meet at, tucking himself in the corner with a book. Most often Ainsley didn't mind having a chaperon and she had been thrilled when her brother was finally considered old enough to do so. The two of them got a long very well, better together than any of the MacCarthaigh siblings, though they were all still close. Aibhlinn was really the only one who took after their parents. She was just as snobbish and self-centered. Ainsley, Aengus, Brigid and Cormac were all far more civilized and pleasant. Fortunately, Aibhlinn was married and out of the house. Aengus and Cormac shared a flat downtown, leaving Ainsley and Brigid at home, but things really were lovely and getting better, slowly but surely.

Ainsley sat, a pot of tea already on the table for when Neevy arrived. It was a cozy little place, especially since the day had turned colder. Winter was definitely settling in and while it meant much more time spent indoors, Ainsley never really minded. The artist in her could appreciate the blanket of while as a blank canvas and a new time of year. Things could really only go up from there anyway. As her friend entered the cafe, she smiled warmly, standing to hug Neevy. "Hello Darling, how are you today?" She questioned politely,curious to know what Niamh had been up to lately.


outfit

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It turned out Niamh did not need to wait; there was her Ainsley waiting. She beamed and walked over to her friend, returning the hug Ainsley offered. Niamh wasn't really good about chaperons; in her first few years at Hogwarts she hadn't left often and the school supplied them, but since she had officially started courting her that boy he had acted as her chaperon. The courtship had been broken, sure, but no one seemed to want to explain to the occasionally fiery Niamh that she should get a chaperon. She couldn't really afford one anyways, unless she stuck Cillian on a leash or, well, moved in with him.<p>

"Afternoon Doll," she said, releasing the hug cheerily. "It was good, but a stench of the less-fortunate parts of town is starting to invade my shack. I'm going to have to buy some candles or something. How are you?" she was practically buzzing with the urge to tell Ainsley about Evander's return, but considering the chances of that crushing her friend she decided to drag it out, soften the blow a bit. Who knew if Ainsley even wanted to hear such news, anyways? Neen certainly didn't. It was time such as this she wished she had a more useful skill set in Divination, instead of frightening dreams years in advance. She also half-wished that she had taken the NEWT class; perhaps then she could have gotten a feel for how Ainsley would react.
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"Oh Dear, you know you can come stay with us if you need to." Aisnley had made the offer before and it still stood. Naimh was like a sister to her and the two of them had always gotten along well and Ains worried about Neevy living where she did. "I have some nice candles you can have too, next time we visit I'll bring them. Incense will also work nicely." She frequently burned a short stick of incense when she was painting; it helped to create a mood for her.

She had half a mind to ask if Naimh had heard from Evander, but decided that would be not only cruel to herself, but to her friend as well. Evander hadn't told anybody he was leaving so it was just as much of a shock to his family as well and the girl across the table took it just as hard, if not harder, than Ainsley had herself. Instead she decided to ask about the other Kavanagh brother. "And how are Cillian and the Daimhin? Expecting any more nieces or nephews any time in the near future?" While her own romance hadn't worked out, she had also watched Cillain and Daimhin get married and give birth to their first child. Not that Aisnley wasn't somehow still a part of the Kavanagh family, but it was a harsh reminder sometimes of what she could have had. She had been around when Neevy's first niece was born too, but much more removed, just a quick visit after the baby was born and that was it. That day it had been very hard to force a smile and act happy. While she was truly happy for the couple, it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her all over again.

"Do give them my best next time you see them." Ainsley never was one to impose on friends or family so she tended never to just drop in without being invited any more. She had done it quite frequently in the past, all of them had been that close, but not it was strained and tiresome and Ainsley didn't have it in her to try any more. She was trying to move on from Evander altogether. Some day she would be able to see the Kavanaghs without her heart throbbing, but for now it was best just not to put herself in that position.

Casting a look over her shoulder at her brother, she caught his curious expression and scowled at him. While he couldn't understand her want to remain friends with Naimh, Ainsley found her friend to be a soothing presence in her life. Sometimes it took a few days to recover, but it was still worth it in the end. Aisnley always came out a little stronger and better for it, but Aengus couldn't see the point in it.

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"Thanks for the offer," she said. "But I'll have to decline. I like my freedom, even though it's in a hovel," she made a face. "I will however mooch candles from you," another face, this one playful. She just barely resisted the urge to stick out her tongue at Ainsley, deciding it to be too innapropriate. <p>

Niamh shrugged. "Not that I've heard, but unless they follow the Kavanagh 'two close together, one a few years later' pattern I think there'll be some more nieces and nephews for me to spoil." Not that she had visited them lately... she was still determined to selfishly avoid Evander. <P>

"I will," she said. "But that might not be for a while. Ainsley, I have some... interesting news." Preparing Ainsley for the axe blow. Neen was blushing, and she cracked her knuckles anxiously. Damnit, why didn't Evander just stay gone? She really hoped this didn't send Ainsley back into her depression... if it did, Niamh would kill her brother herself, whether he was sorry for leaving or not. (She didn't know if he was, but he better be if he wanted to survive when she first saw him. Niamh had a great propensity for holding grudges, and she wasn't likely to let go of them just because Evander was her brother. <p>

Still, she appeared to be the one who had to give Ainsley the news... and she figured that hearing it from Neen after she had softened the blow of the information axe. If her dear friend was mad at her over this she was going to throttle her brother.
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While Ainsley worried about her friend, she understood the need for some freedom. Leaving her own home had crossed her mind many a time, striking out, finding a place of her own. Too bad that was frowned upon. A lady was not supposed to live by herself, unless she was widowed. Aisnley felt like she had been widowed but since she had never married, that was not the case. The hurt was there, but not the documents. Chuckling despite her dreary thoughts, Ainsley nodded though in agreement to bring Neevy some candles. It was the least she could do.

"Oh, yes well there are patterns to follow." Ains laughed quietly. She hadn't seen Cillian and Daimhin in so long; she missed spending time with them. They had been just as much a part of her family as her own was. In a large family like her own, it was the more the merrier. Of course it had taken quite some time for her own parents to come to the conclusion that even though the Kavanaghs were middle class, they were still exceptionally fine people. Ainsley had been raised in that mindset, but had never taken stock in it herself. In going to school she realized that most upperclassmen were snotty and not worth the time, whereas the middle and lower class folk were much more down to earth and therefore much more likable. That wasn't to say that there weren't pleasant upper class people or that the middle and lower classes couldn't have their snotty moments, but it had just been what she had observed in her time there. Ainsley was an extremely observant person to begin with.

He whole demeanor changed when Neevy started a sentence then, paused and slowed. Her friend seemed nervous, or rather put out by something and it had Ainsley automatically on edge. She waited a minute, for Niamh to continue, but when she didn't it was hard not to let her mind wander? Had something happened? Interesting couldn't mean something had gone wrong. She was jumping to conclusions and that was irrational. "What is it Niamh?" She said finally after another moment's pause. The anticipation has built up n her system and she had to know. "Tell me. You know you can tell me anything." She hoped her friend was alright.

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Niamh grinned at her friend. "Exactly," she said. Of course, at this rate Cillian and Daimhin would be the only child of the trio to have kids, in which case he would be required to have nine of them just to balance it all out. Unless Evander got his head out of his arse and courted Ainsley again, or Niamh was swept off her feet.<p>

Niamh bit her lip at Ainsley's prompting. "Recently... uh... well.... He's back. Evander, I mean, not," not her own ex-fiance. But this was about Ainsley, so she shook her head and got back on track, still not quite willing to meet her friend's eyes. "And I think he's living at Cillian's. I'm not sure though." <p>
She waited for the fallout, thinking please don't be mad at me and still averting her gaze. Evander was back. This was big news. And Ains was finally going out again, Niamh was... well, she was herself, she had always been herself, but still. If he was going to come back, why wait until everyone had moved on? Why not when Ains had been depressed and when he could be around to put the fear of god into Niamh's boy? This was just annoying. Three years was a long time, and she couldn't help but feel that they had all finally started to be better off without him.
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Oh, she hadn't expected that at all. Ainsley had accepted that' she'd moved on from Evander. There was no point in missing somebody who was no longer within your reach. He'd been gone for so long from her life, left such a huge hole in her heart that her only reaction to hearing that news was to be numb. She was sure she'd be upset and angry later, but couldn't muster it right now. Even absent from their presence, Evander could dampen even the most innocent of outings between girlfriends.

In all honestly Ains assumed Neevy was about to tell her something about her own long lost beau, but she quickly squelched that idea. It would have been easier to play the sincerely supportive friend at this point in her life than to again be the lonely brokenhearted ghost. The two girls sitting at the table were so alike, Ainsley knew that Evander returning would not only be hard for her, but for her friend as well. The Kavanagh siblings were close. Evander's unexpected departure hadn't just rocked her world, it had sent Niamh's into disarray as well. Even through her grief, Aisnley knew that and had tried to reach out to her friend but it had been so painful that she couldn't. Instead she suffered at home, along in silence stuck in a house full of people who, while sympathetic, had no idea what she was going through and no idea what to say to her, so they simply said nothing. Eventually Aengus had broken through the mist and gotten her to open up. They knew what had happened, but talking about it was something entirely different.

"Oh, well then." Was all Aisnely could think of to say. She was still dumbstruck, she figured. All of the emotions would pile up on her as usual. She would think she was fine then all of a sudden the depression would take over again and she'd be sidelined for a day or so. This was happening less and less frequently as of late, but she was sure that it would strike again tonight.

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It appeared to Niamh that Ainsely was in shock. That was perfectly acceptable, of course, and Neen would actually have been surprised if her friend didn't express some sort of surprise. After all, nobody had expected Evander to return, and Niamh was fairly certain that Ainsely had been hit the hardest by his abandonment. Sure, she and Cillian were his siblings and they were close to him, but they weren't his one true love. (Niamh bought into all the romantic trappings of fairy tales. After her former fiance had screwed up she had blamed Evander for that, too. He had read her the books that started it all.)<p>

"Yeah," she said. "That's uh... yeah." She shifted uncomfortably in the seat. Niamh wanted desperately to switch the conversation to something less awkward. She almost started blathering on about the weather, but she just managed to stop herself. She and Ainsely were friends, they didn't have to do things that were so... boring.<p>

She needed to change the subject, though, and she needed to do it now or she was going to go insane. Niamh cleared her throat, feeling incredibly awkward, and said, "So, uh, how are your utterly fantastic paintings going?" As someone who couldn't paint for her life, Neen did truly find Ainsely's skills to be awe-inspiring. She far preferred drawing, but that was her own business.
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"Thanks for warning me Neevy, really." Ainsley was glad she'd gotten some kind of warning. Had she just seen Evander out and about it would have been much more embarrassing and harder to handle. Now she was prepared that if she did see him she could at least be calm and collected rather than just looking like she'd seen a ghost. But her friend looked uncomfortable at the subject on the table so Ains easily let her friend switch subjects. It wasn't one to dwell on anyway. Though she knew she would spend the better portion of the rest of the day thinking about it. She would go through a wide range of emotions, anger, sadness, fear and many more in the span of a few hours.

Little did her friend know that her paintings were a sore connection to Evander, but she went with it anyway. "Going well, I've been busy working on a lot of realism and still life paintings." That much was true, through she would always have an affinity for portraits as well. "I've started dabbling in other mediums, charcoal, sketching a lot more. It's good to change things up a bit."

Expanding her comfort zone was not something she was ever very good at, but with her art, she found it the one place she was unafraid to try new things. There was no right or wrong answer in art so therefore nothing was really at risk. Ainsley had never taken a risk in her entire life until she'd asked her father to consider letting her court a middle class man.

"What about you Niamh, what have you been doing with your time?" They didn't get to see one another nearly as often as she would have liked, so Ains felt like she was missing out and tried to make up for it whenever they did managed to get together. Of course through her depression that had been hard. Now that she was finally over the worst of it, she was finding it easier and easier to regain some of the things she liked from her past life. It was sad to think of it that way, but Ainsley no longer considered herself to be the person she was before Evander left. She was a new person and while she didn't exactly feel like herself sometimes, she was coming to terms with the new her.

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Niamh gave a small smile as Ainsley accepted her subject change. If there was anything she could listen to other people talk about for hours, it was their art. She liked to talk about her own too, but it was always fascinating to see what other people were thinking of. Charcoal sounded fun but Niamh herself would always prefer her pencils; she had been messing with them since she was little and while she would make changes to her style often enough, she very rarely dabbled in anything else. "Always good," she said, her smile widening into a grin for a brief moment.<p>

Niamh shrugged. What had she been up to? "I've been sketching a lot. Sometimes for commision," she said. "And I've pretty much burned through half the Ministry's notepads during work. You have no idea how boring it is; you have two or three periods of activity followed by hours and hours of nothing. Good for ideas, though." She gave a small laugh.<p>

"It's still eerie to be an official adult. I mean, this time last year I was still in school! I still have no idea what I'm doing half the time." This time the previous year she had been planning on getting married. "Did you ever feel like that?" she asked.
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Ainsley knew exactly how Neevy felt about being an adult. One minute you're a student, without a care beyond passing your next exam then you were thinking about trying to find a husband, to strike it out on your own, to make something of yourself. It was surreal and scary but at the time of her graduation she'd been nothing but excited. At the time, she'd had her Coming Out ball, gotten offers for courting, held out for Evander and started their courtship. She dreamed of marrying him, of having kids with him, a house, everything. For three years it all seemed so clear and concise, like she knew exactly where her life was headed.

Then he disappeared and she just shattered.

It was then that she really felt like she had to figure out what to do with her life. She threw herself into her art, wondering if she could give being an artist and honest to goodness try, but never got off of the ground with it. It was her passion, her hobby; it could never be her occupation, her means of living.

It had been a dream of hers for a long time, but just like getting married and having a family, it seemed it wasn't to be. She was approaching twenty-five, would turn so this year and would officially be considered a spinster. While her parents were strongly against it, she didn't want to support them forever, she'd have to find a job by the summer time. It was depressing really, she thought her life would have been entirely different, but here she was.

"I get it." She said with a smile, trying to to betray her real thoughts on the subject. "Things will work themselves out, they always do." She had to be positive for Niamh. The poor girl had been, probably still was, in a predicament very much like her own, but Neevy had been able to take a chance and do something for herself. She'd gotten a job, which didn't sound terribly exciting, but she it was something. "Perhaps I should apply to be a welcome witch," She chuckled, though wasn't entirely kidding. "Then at least we could be bored together, plus Cormac is interning, it would be nice to see both of you more often."