Bob likes books, Bob RP#1

[Cthuhlu]

Bob likes books.
Bob likes books with pictures.
(Naked pictures!)
Bob likes books turned into movies.
(Quick and easy.)
Bob has not read War and Peace.
Too long.
Too boring.
(Snore!!!)
No movie.
(No naked women)
Bob has seen WarrenPeace wrestle.
It’s like the book.
(Snore)
Boring as hell.
(No naked women either)
Bob usually changes the channel.
Bob has to wrestle WarrenPeace.
Bob would rather wait for the commercial.
It would be more entertaining.

North Carolina, home of two of the greatest college basketball teams in the nation, UNC and Duke. Man it’s great to watch them play. The level of competition, the rivalry, the history, all makes for a riveting match up.

Must be nice.

I get to wrestle WarrenPeace. No rivalry, no history, and certainly no level of competition. I mean seriously. WarrenPeace? He went from Drinking his Juice in the Hood, to thinking he was some sort of prophet or some sort of G.O.D complex? What the hell? I think someone has let the smoke for the stage fireworks and flashing lights go to his head.

Just who the hell has he beaten? Ok yeah he was at one time a uWe tag team champion, but everyone knows it was because of his cousin and the fact that Project Mayhem had all but fallen apart. As soon as they won it, didn’t Bad Attitude come by the next week and take it from them? So sad.

Oh yeah that’s right, he beat Dante Nathaniel. AND then got beat down by Joker in less than a week or so.

Wow. What a champ.

Didn’t he walk around the uWe calling himself the Universal Champion of some stupid shit like that? Listen shit for brains, anyone can go to Michael’s, buy some leather, a thousand rhinestones, and a Bedazzler. Hell fans do it all the time, but that doesn’t make them a Champion.

But hey, it’ll be my pleasure kicking you in the face again. It’s been a while since I got to do that.

---

We find me, Bob, the BadGuy, sitting outside of the Bank of America stadium, a few hours before the doors open. He is laying on the hood of a car, smoking a cigarette staring across at the empty arena. Taking a drag in blows the smoke into the air and sits up

“Tonight a championship is defended here at the Bank of America stadium. I hope the Panther fans come out tonight, it might be the closest thing to a championship match-up they will ever see.

Poor putty-tats, they ain’t got much of a shot at bringing the Lombardi Trophy home. Although

Bob holds up a finger

“They do have a better shot than Peace does at keeping the Television Title tonight.

Bob hops off the car and flicks his cigarette to the concrete.

“I mean, no offense, but it’s Warren fucking Peace. Two weeks ago I’m fighting Styx in a no holds bar match in Italy, I kick him into the river, he almost drowns me, I kick him in the face. Now that was a fucking match!

Bob is all excited, his face is lit up as he recounts he action, hands waving in the air and everything

“Last week they team me and Styx up against Billy Bob and Jimbo or whatever the hell their names are, and it takes me longer to pull up my zipper than it does to beat them.

Bob’s face goes from excited to drab

“Now I get the chance to be the New Television Champion! Yes! And my opponent is…….wait for it…..

Bob gets real excited

WarrenPeace!!!

Bob stares blankly at the camera for a few long seconds not blinking

“Seriously?? Seriously? From freaking epic awesomeness against Styx, to mediocre tag team match, to a title shot against someone that can’t hang onto a belt longer than a week unless the uWe is postponed do to rain?

Bob quirks an eyebrow

“Really?

But hey, who am I to complain? Two months back in the uWe and I already get to be a champion. I got Lily chasing me around the globe trying to get me to see her naked, Krissy tripping over herself to get me on the mat with her, and Lucilla wanting to watch.

It’s good to be me.

Bob.

Bob the BadGuy”

Bob flashes a shit eating grin and heads off toward the Bank of America Stadium.

This post has been edited by Cthuhlu on Apr 16 2012, 10:09 AM

[The Green Lantern]

Deliciously arrogant. You also seem to divide your roleplays into several distinct parts. I really like your style, both in content and lay-out!

[Cthuhlu]

Thanks.