Nothing Takes the Edge Off Like a Pint, tag: marley

[Marley Grayson]

"I...I am,"

Marley's face fell. She had actually been entertaining the notion, if Josh was willing. It had been a while and he was the first guy who she wasn't afraid of. He was supposed to be a player, but he played for the other team.

"Oh..." she said quietly. "That's too bad."

She found her glass again and drank some more of her beer.

As least she was glad it wasn't her regular problem. That would have been hard to deal with.

"At least it wasn't the fact that I am blind. I don't think I could have taken that tonight."

She sighed.

"Helping you out today opened up a lot of wounds for me. Don't feel bad about it though. I was happy to help you out with your claustrophobia."

She let go of his arm and instead gripped the edge of the bar.

"I just didn't want to be alone tonight."

She reached down and fished her phone out of her bag.

"I should call a cab. Get out of your hair."

Then she promptly dropped it.

"Son of a bitch... Can you help a poor blind girl out?" she asked, definitely feeling a little down on herself. "It isn't broken is it?"

[Josh Brewer]

Josh felt bad about lying to her, but it was better than telling the truth. This wasn't a lie to be an asshole, this was a lie to preserve her feelings, and he felt as though that was alright. "Still, I'm sorry," he stated, glad for probably the millionth time in his life that he was a phenomenal liar. He had never been bad at telling people what he wanted them to know and nothing more, and he was glad that his ability had only become more fine tuned over the past few years. He did a lot of things that he knew were probably...amoral, but he didn't care, his primary goal was to protect himself.

He felt another pang of guilt as she mentioned that helping him had opened up wounds for her. He had not meant to do that, but he had been unable to help himself. He took another sip from his own beer to counteract the fact that it had brought up shit for him as well, and he still didn't want her to know that. "I'm sorry that it took a toll on you, but...thanks for helping me out, I've just never really liked small spaces." He shrugged it off as though it were nothing, even though really, it was pretty much everything. "Embarrassing, really - a grown man who can't handle being stuck in an elevator."

He did feel a bit stupid about the whole thing, about having let himself enter that position, where he was freaking out and needed to he be helped, but he had. He was slightly relieved that she mentioned calling a cab, because honestly, he didn't feel up for much other than some sleep tonight, and a cab sounded like a good idea. He picked up her dropped phone and handed it to her. "Nope, I think it's okay - and if you don't mind, we can share a cab? I can go with you, make sure you get home safe, and then it can take me home?" It was the least he could do - she was drunk and blind, and a lot of guys would take advantage of that."[/b]

[Marley Grayson]

"Still, I'm sorry,"

Marley shrugged.

"It is what it is."

She wondered if his wife knew. It took everything she had not to ask. After all, her inihibitions were running at a low point.

Then he soundednapologetic when she had told him that wounds had been opened.

"I'm sorry that it took a toll on you, but...thanks for helping me out, I've just never really liked small spaces." "Embarrassing, really - a grown man who can't handle being stuck in an elevator."

"Don't feel sorry. We don't ever get to choose what or who we are afraid of. Sometimes it is just inherent like your claustrophobia and sometimes it is something that happens to us like me and John," she told him, the alcohol letting her speak more of him. "That was his name. John White. Or at least the one he went by."

She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts that were scaring her and the memories flowing forward that she didn't want to remember.

It was only her concern over her dropped phone that got her mind off of it. That phone was everything. It held everything about her life. It was a big part of what made her more indepedent.

"Nope, I think it's okay - and if you don't mind, we can share a cab? I can go with you, make sure you get home safe, and then it can take me home?"

She nodded her head. She didn't know what else to do.

"That's be nice..." she murmured.

She wished she didn't have to be alone that night. She wished there would be something to take her mind off it all.

But that was not to be.

Hey... She really wouldn't be alone...

John White would be there again. There to take her world back over.

In spirit.

[Josh Brewer]

He let the gay thing go, deciding that talking about it too much might unravel his lie and let her know that he wasn't being honest with her, and he didn't want to do that. Of course, she was right about fear. About his fear, about all fear - you don't control who or what you are afraid of, and while he was afraid of small spaces, it was more a fear of not being able to help himself that scared him. His kidnappers were still at large, but he didn't think they would come for him again, after all, they had let him go, it wasn't as though he had been rescued or escaped. They were done with him, they had moved on, but he was left scarred. "Fear is a son of a bitch," he exclaimed, slamming his empty glass down on the table and startling the bartender, but only momentarily.

He felt awkward when she talked more about her stalker, because he didn't know what to tell her or what to say. He knew what it was like to be hurt by someone who had power over you. His had been different than hers, of course, he had been stalked in the beginning, he supposed, but what scared him had been the fact that he had been too physically weak to fight back from his attackers, even before they had him tied up. He had been unable to fight and that had left him, well, helpless until his ransom was paid. "I'm sorry that that had to happen to you," he said softly, hoping that they would be able to leave it at that, as he really didn't know what else to say to her. He didn't know how to comfort someone in that sort of situation, especially when he didn't even know how to take care of himself.

"Alright, then share a cab, we shall." He called for one, and stood up. It was going to meet them outside very soon, and he was glad for that, because getting home was really his main objective right now. Sure, if Marley were...pretty much anyone else he would have tried to sleep with her, but her blindness did get in the way, even if she was good at touch and whatnot, a part of him wasn't quite to the point where he could just have a one night stand with someone who was blind. It didn't make sense, in fact it was more than a little irrational, but he wasn't known for being a rational person and this wasn't any different. "They said they'll be outside, do you need escorting outside? You know, with the tipsy from the alcohol?"

[Marley Grayson]

"Fear is a son of a bitch,"

Marley nodded her head again, It was a bitch. Or better yet, it made you one of his. She always imagined fear being male. Or more appropriately since the stalking.

"I'm sorry that that had to happen to you,"

It was spoken softly and thus sounded quite sincere. Somehow, she felt like he somehow empathized with her. Had he perhaps known someone who was stalked? Or victimized somehow?

She would have asked him, but she just wanted to put it behind her. She picked up her beer and chugged the remainder down before placing it unceremoniously on the bar.

"Alright, then share a cab, we shall."

She was about to call for one himself, after all, there was even an app for that on her phone, but he beat her to it. It was nice, being taken care of. Every once in a while, it was nice, even to fiercly independent folks like herself.

"They said they'll be outside, do you need escorting outside? You know, with the tipsy from the alcohol?"

"Perhaps that might be good," she conceded. "Either that or there might be several wounded shins when I try to navigate out of a room of folks towards the door."

She had done that before. It wasn't pretty. Drunk and staggering while trying to leave... Stupid cane kept smacking someone's shins no matter where she tried to move. You would think people might move out of the way a little, it wasn't like she was super stealthy sometimes.

"I just need to use your elbow," she told him. "I'll follow along as steadily as possible."

She stood up and the floor seemed to tilt and it disoriented her for a moment. A good grip on the chair helped, along with an equally good grip on his arm. Once the floor seemed to be level again, she picked up her bag off the back of the chair and slung it over her shoulder.

"Whenever you are ready..."

The truth is that she wasn't ready. She didn't want to go home, but she had no other place to go. It is not like she had time to make any friends yet.

She wished she would've drank more. Then maybe she wouldn't care if she got home to an empty apartment to be left in the company of her memories and fears.

[Josh Brewer]

Aside from Sayra, this was the nicest that Josh had been to anyone in a long time. He usually figured that if he could fend for himself, so could everyone else, and as a result, he didn't need to bother being kind to anyone, but this was different. This woman had helped him in the elevator, and he was just returning the favor so that he felt he didn't owe her anything...he didn't want to be in debt to anyone, because debts made people weak, and being weak just wasn't an option for Josh, not anymore, not after everything that he had been through. He wanted to be clean and even with everyone and owe them nothing.

"That I can do." He offered her his elbow, making sure that she found it before he started to walk. He didn't know if she needed him to walk slowly or carefully or anything like that, but he was going to anyways. He wasn't going to risk running her into something, because not only would his debt be heightened, but he would be judged by the people in the bar as the asshole who slammed the blind girl into a wall or a post or perhaps even another person. He already had enough of a reputation for being a jerk, he didn't need that to grow anymore than it already had.

"Okay, cab's right here." He watched as the cabby opened the door, and he helped her inside, sitting in the back with her, leaving the passenger's seat untouched. he always sat in the back, most everyone he knew did, and whenever he saw someone riding in the front, he never understood why they chose to do that. "Two stops tonight, if that's alright - first one is, uh..." he turned to Marley. "Where do you live?" he asked, realizing that he really had no idea of where to leave her off. He figured it was probably one of the Vow owned apartment complexes, but he wanted to be sure, didn't want to drop her at the wrong place.

[Marley Grayson]

Marley took his arm and let him lead her out. One thing that was nice with that is that she didn't need to get her cane out quite yet. Peoples' shins were safe for now.

She was also grateful that he had decided to walk slowly. Staggering at a quick pace wouldn't be pretty either. She'd be OK once she got to the cab, but those first few (or twenty) steps were the hardest.

"Okay, cab's right here."

He helped her in, then slid in next to her. She was happy he did, she wanted just a little more comfort before she had to strike out on her own and return to the deafening silence that was her empty apartment.

"Two stops tonight, if that's alright - first one is, uh..." "Where do you live?"

Of course he had to know where she lived.

"I live in the engaged complex until they have found my match," she told him.

Her match... She hoped that whoever the guy was, that he made her feel like Josh did. With him she didn't feel afraid. She almost felt... safe.

She laid her head down on his shoulder.

"It's too bad you're gay," she said, perhaps a little too loud. Unbeknownst to her, the driver looked up from the road and quickly studied Josh. "I really don't want to be alone tonight and I don't know anyone else. At least no one that knows. I don't want to relive it yet again today."

She sighed.

"Times like this... it's like the silence speaks to you," she waxed poetic. "And what it says isn't exactly soothing to the soul."

With that she had nothing else to say. Things were what they were and she would face the empty apartment alone, just like she had done at the beginning.

[Josh Brewer]

After clarifying that the cabby knew where the engaged complexes were, Josh relaxed into the seat. He lived in a house now, not the huge one that he had lived in with Sasha, that one had been almost too much show even for him, though having the guest house to sneak around in and conduct his...businesses on the side with other women and the occasional man had been very nice, but he liked the house that he lived in now in the suburbs. Maybe one day he and Bellamy would upgrade to the hills, assuming that their marriage lasted long enough for them to do so, but for now, he was just trying to figure out how to keep her from making him talk about his past...and that was hard enough.

He bit his lip when she mentioned not wanting to be alone. He knew what that was like. After his kidnapping, he had wanted to be surrounded by people, but people that he could trust, people that he knew would protect him. His parents had gotten him a bodyguard for a little while, and that man had been who he had relied on for protection until he had taken enough self defense and martial arts classes to protect himself. Now he was confident in his abilities as a fighter and a defender, but then had been a completely different story, and he knew what it was like to be so afraid...but he didn't know what to do or how to help her. He let out a sigh, understanding that she was afraid, but not sure what to do.

Josh didn't know if she was the kind of woman who would sleep with a man like him solely for the protection that he could offer her for the night, but he knew that there were women who did that, women who went from bed to bed because they knew that they would be safe in the arms of the strong men they had given it up to. He didn't want her to feel like she had to do that for him, so he came to a compromise in his mind. "Look, if you're afraid of being alone, or I guess if you just don't want to, I can crash on your couch or something...I don't know if that will do anything to help you feel less...alone or engulfed in silence, but...it's the best I can offer." In Josh's mind, that was one of the most generous offers he had ever made, though he wasn't sure if he wanted her to accept it or not.

[Marley Grayson]

She was terrified. Absolutely terrified of going home. But she was ready to face it. She really had no other choice. What was she going to do? Sleep on a park bench?

No stupid... she thought. You'll grab some things, call a cab and find a hotel.

So that was her plan. She was going to get home, maybe have Josh check her place out to make sure no one was there, then let him get on his way. She'd pack some things, call another cab and high tail it to a hotel. At least there would be some other folks there. Perhaps a bar too if she couldn't sleep.

She didn't say much on the way there. She just stayed there with her head on his shoulder, grateful for the warmth he gave her. She was already making a mental list of what she'd need when she got back to her place. She'd need clothes for the next day, toothbrush...

She knew she would probably forget something important, but her thoughts were interrupted by his voice.

"Look, if you're afraid of being alone, or I guess if you just don't want to, I can crash on your couch or something...I don't know if that will do anything to help you feel less...alone or engulfed in silence, but...it's the best I can offer."

A sob nearly broke through, but she kept it inside. She nodded.

"Thank you, Josh..." she whispered. "I would really appreciate it."

It was like a weight had been lifted, even just for a little bit. At least she didn't need to be afraid. Maybe now she could get a good night's sleep and possibly 'stuff the genie back in the bottle' before bedtime the next night.

[Josh Brewer]

Josh felt that Marley was getting a little emotional, but sometimes alcohol did that to people, and he was alright with that. He understood that one couldn't be totally tame and together all of the time, because he wasn't together any of the time, he just put on an act and was lucky enough to be believed by the majority of the people in his life. He wanted to be okay with his life and who he was, but he also knew that there was very little chance of that ever being a thing. After all that had been done to him when he was in captivity, he saw no light for his future.

"Don't worry about it." Josh shrugged. Sleeping on a stranger's couch was not something that he did often, but he felt like he had the jump on her if she ever did try to attack him simply because he had his eyesight - not to mention the several pounds of muscle that he had on her. No, Josh didn't fear Marley attacking him as much as he feared her discovering his secret, but that was just something that he was going to have to prevent, something that he made sure never got out, because he didn't want her going down that path with him - hell, he didn't even want to go down that path alone.

He pulled out his phone and texted Bellamy, letting her know that he was staying with a friend, because he didn't want her to wake up and worry that he wasn't there. Usually he came home after his trysts, and since she hadn't heard from him since he had headed to the hospital, he felt that it was only right to let her know that he was both safe and not coming home that night. Avoiding confrontation with her was his number one priority, and he hoped that she never asked what was up. "Change that to just the first destination," he told the driver. "We won't be continuing on to my place after all."

[Marley Grayson]

"Don't worry about it."

Josh acted like it was no big thing, but to Marley, it was. To have someone there with her tonight was more comforting than anyone could imagine. It was a long time since she'd felt this unstable. She had tried really hard to put all of this behind her and get on with her life, but it seems that it was proving again to be harder than she wanted it to be.

She felt Josh move a little like he was getting something out of his pocket but didn't try to conciously determine what it was. She was just happy to not be alone.

"Change that to just the first destination," "We won't be continuing on to my place after all."

She wanted to tell him 'thank you' again, but didn't want to sound TOO desperate. She was supposed to be this independent woman, only she wasn't feeling too terribly independent at the moment. She felt like a failure. John was coming back to yank her life away from her again only he actually wasn't even there. She had her own psychological prison in which she could not win.

Tomorrow had to be better. If she could get through the night, then tomorrow would have to be better.

Then something else entered her mind.

"Is your wife going to be upset with you for staying over to help me? Well at least she doesn't have to worry about your intentions," she asked him. Then she thought again. "Did you tell her that you are gay? Does she know that? Cause if she doesn't, I don't want her to think that this was anything other than you helping me through a rough spot."

[Josh Brewer]

Marley brought Bellamy into all of this, and he wasn't sure what to do. His wife was kind enough, but she wasn't right for him, at least he didn't feel that she was - first off, she wanted a relationship with someone, someone who would sweep her off of her feet and give her love, and Josh wasn't that person now, nor would he probably ever be. He wasn't the sort to be a woman's night in shining armor, and he didn't understand why people wanted that, why people wanted love. He had been hurt too badly, he supposed, to see it, but he didn't even understand the appeal of being with one person forever.

"She'll be fine with it," he stated. He had no idea if that was true, but she was used to him coming back late, often smelling of other women, or even sometimes men, and it didn't bother him, the way that she reacted. This would be different of course, because he wasn't actually sleeping with Marley, but at the same time, how was Bellamy to know that? He hadn't told her in the text that he was crashing on a friend's couch, merely that he was staying with a friend, though as far as Bellamy knew, the only friend he had was Sayra, and she was pretty sure she knew he wasn't staying there, so odds were she thought he was getting laid.

"She doesn't know I'm gay, but she doesn't have to, it will be fine." He sighed, paying the cabby as it stopped outside of the complex. Sure, maybe he wasn't the only one with money to throw around at this juncture, but that didn't stop him from paying the fare. "I'll tell her that I slept on your couch, and if she doesn't believe me, you can back up my story." He wasn't going to have sex with Marley, meaning that this overnight was truly as innocent as it was supposed to be, and he didn't care what Bellamy thought...after all, he was unfaithful most every other night.