Table For Two, Tag: Beau

Beau laughed, “Thank you! I really didn’t want to let you down. Dr. Pepper and Company really needed to know that they’d let you down.” He looked up at her and into her eyes. Maybe he was a little inappropriate, but he couldn’t even help himself from being entranced by her hair, and her eyes, and her nose, and everything else. Forcing himself to look away, he folded up the piece of paper he had written the letter on and stuck it in his wallet: half intending to keep it as a memento and half intending to actually send it. Who knows? Companies will do anything to avoid a lawsuit, nowadays.

The longer he sat with her, the more he wished he had known her earlier: before either of them ever got involved with The Vow and arranged marriages to people they barely knew. Bringing himself back to her voice, he nodded and smiled. He was a nice guy, a nice guy to be friends with. That is what they were to be, always. Without the ring on his finger, it made it a little difficult, but he would stomach all of those feelings and shove them deep inside again. “Thank you, you’re a great person to be friends with too.” He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it, at all. She’ll just have to realize we’re just friends.” Clearly, they were so just-friends-ing it.

Laughing feebly at her joke, he was a little embarrassed. He was incredibly hungry though. The gnawing hunger pangs were demanding pizza to calm them. He wasn’t about to deny them of that. “Of course I don’t mind, and alright. I’ll let you pay next time, maybe.” He winked a dorky wink. Somehow in his presence, everything was a joke. God forbid, he’d have to a serious conversation where he’d actually have to talk about himself. When she asked him for advice, he swallowed the lump in his throat. “From a man’s perspective,” he started then took a drink of his water, “Wear minimal clothing.” He smirked, as if to imply he was slightly joking. Although if it were him, he’d come home early every damn night for a girl in lingerie.

”I can assure you that you have not let me down. I’m awfully impressed. You really have a way with words.” Leah was beyond amused by the two of them working together to pen a letter to Dr. Pepper and Co. It just went to show that not everyone had to take everything so seriously. That it was okay to be silly and enjoy being that way. Leah certainly was enjoying it and she felt confident in thinking that Beau felt the same. It didn’t matter if the letter that was now placed in Beau’s wallet was sent or not, it was fun imagining that it was going to be sent. They’d shared several laughs over it and Leah felt her mood lighten.

For some inexplicable reason Leah was left feeling dumbstruck when her gaze met Beau’s. She stared right back at him with this half smile resting lightly on her lips. Maybe she was a bit awestruck by him but that wasn’t a bad thing. It was a horrible thought and she knew that the moment it popped into her head but she wished they’d met before she was married and Beau engaged. Who knows what could have happened. Leah had a great deal of respect for him and wished him and his soon to be wife nothing but the best. His compliment came unexpectedly and was well received with a blush that started at the roots of her hair and ended high on her cheeks. ”Thank you, Beau. That really means a lot to me to hear you say that. As long as I don’t cause problems I’d like to continue this friendship. I so enjoy spending tim with you.” Maybe she enjoyed it too much.

Leah hoped that her joking with Beau about the amount of food he was eating hadn’t made him uncomfortable or awkward. She didn’t care how much or how little he ate, she was just happy to be sharing a meal with him. He was a much needed distraction. ”Good. Next time is on me, I insist.” As far as Leah was concerned that matter was settled! She blushed even more when he mentioned that men liked women while minimal clothing. She wondered if he was talking about what he liked or what men in general liked. She wasn’t about to ask! ”Right, gotcha. I’ll keep that in mind. I hate to complain after you’ve been so kind to meet me for lunch but it’s been hard being married. My husband doesn’t really like me. I can’t seem to do anything right for him, no matter how hard I try.” Of course she felt bad complaining to Beau when they should be having a light, enjoyable lunch. ”I’m sorry, Beau. I shouldn’t unload on you it’s not right. I don’t want to ruin our lunch. So I’m not going to. And I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable asking for advice. You’re a man so I though to get your opinion. It’s kinda inappropriate isn’t it?” If only....she thought to herself sadly, if only.

Beau chuckled a little more, satisfied with himself. He shrugged a little, “Thank you, I like to think I’m pretty good with words as well.” He was definitely a dabbler in writing, but he would never admit that to anyone on God’s green earth. If the words he wrote were insufficient to prove him to be good with words, you could just look at the string of ex-girlfriends he left behind. They’d all tell you he was pretty charming with his words.

She was cute when she blushed, and he knew that very well. To him, she always seemed so modest and never expecting of praise, even when she deserved it. He liked that a lot in a person. “You’re welcome, and don’t worry about it. I promise you won’t cause problems.” He didn’t actually know that for sure. Any woman would be intimidated and uncomfortable because of a man like Beau: a man who surrounded himself with women that were in his words just friends. But what woman in this world believes in the idea of just friends? Very few, and he could hardly promise his future wife would be one of the few.

He smirked a little, and let the matter slip away. He’d save the argument over who would pay for the next time they were together when he’d most likely insist on paying, again. Listening to her unload all of her feelings and frustrations, he didn’t really mind at all. He hated seeing her so torn up over her husband, but it really wasn’t ruining anything. It was always hard to be married; no one ever said that marriage was easy, and aside from her terrifying him about the future of his engagement, she was doing no harm to the conversation. He slipped his hand across the table to rest on top of hers, “Leah,” he started, no longer forcing his eyes away from hers, “It’s totally okay, don’t be sorry at all. I’m your friend, you know, and if I have any helpful advice at all then it’s okay to ask for it.” He smiled at her.

Beau didn’t have to be modest, she was in total agreement. He was so easy to talk to and he had an wonderful sense of humor. She so enjoyed any time spent with him. She chuckled right along with him, focusing on the sound of his own chuckle, so much deeper than her own. ”You’re welcome. I don’t say anything that I don’t mean. Have you ever thought of being a writer? I think that you’d be very good at it.” More compliments, not that Leah was keeping track of how often she was complimenting him, it just sorta happened naturally.

Hearing Beau’s voice once again Leah’s eyes flicked up at him and she regarded him curiously, her eyes traveling leisurely over the features of his face. Realizing that she was staring and how rude it was she glanced down at the top of the table between them. She wondered briefly when their food would arrive, hopefully soon, she was starved! Leah looked up once again to peer over at Beau and she smiled her most pleasant smile at him. ”I hope not. You are a good friend, Beau and I feel most relax when we’re talking or hanging out. It’s just really relaxing.” It may sound lame but it was true, she could fully relax around Beau, unlike her husband Josh who kept her feeling as though she were walking on eggshells.

Leah felt his hand cover her own and her eyes snapped to their hands at they touched on the top of the table. Without thinking about it she turned her hand and threaded the fingers of her hand through Beau’s fingers. That wasn’t something a friend would do but she’d done it anyway and she wasn’t pulling away just yet. She met his gaze and she stammered a bit while trying to complete her thought. ”I...I....jus...I just value your opinions and your advice. I don’t have a lot of people I’m comfortable talking to, not like this. This goes both ways. I’m here for you if you ever need to talk. Is...is there anything you need to talk about Beau?” Still she hadn’t pulled away. Leah kinda like the attention and the affectionate even if it was friendly. She was an affectionate woman, when with an equally affectionate man.

Shaking his head with a small smile on his lips, “No, I’d be terrible at it. Who would want to hear anything I could write?” His wasn’t interested in writing books, or scripts, or poetry. He’d only ever written lyrics. It was hard to resist writing something to go with it when stumbling across a catchy melody. Every once in awhile, they were songs about girls, and Leah, with how sweet and endearing she is, was the kind of girl that should have songs written about her. He couldn’t even try to push that idea into the back of his mind like everything else. He probably would write a song about her someday, and he probably would never be able to show it to her.

“I feel the same way, you make me feel so,” he searched for the right word, “comfortable.” Being around her felt like being home. She was a little piece of heaven in Evergreen. He noticed her eyes on him, and he loved every moment they were. It meant that he wasn’t the only one looking, and in no part of him did he think of that gaze as rude whatsoever.

When her fingers threaded his, his heart jumped in his chest. His fingers mimicked hers, and he sat there holding her hand in his. Everything she did, from her stammering to her blushing cheeks, was adorable to him. He wasn’t thinking about her marriage or his engagement at that moment. That wasn’t important right now. All that was important right now was her hand in his and their locked eyes. He didn’t know how to talk about anything, or at least, not about his past and all the demons that hid behind the exterior of a good ole boy. She thought so highly of him, and he couldn’t bring himself to shatter that illusion. He shook his head once again, “No,” he smiled again at her to hide his shame, “I don’t need to talk about anything.”

Leah smiled slightly. She’d want to hear about what he wrote, but she didn’t say that. The look in her eye when she peered across the table at him would speak far louder than any words would have. Leah did shrug a shoulder no, she wanted to reply in some manner. She wasn’t anything close to having a way with words, not like Beau did. She stuck her foot in her mouth often times and she wondered why she bothered speaking at all at times. Her eyes remained on him and their food order was completely forgotten about. For some inexplicable reason she was completely fascinated by him, and very much smitten if the truth were known. She didn’t spare one single solitary thought to her husband or her being married.

She was too focused on Beau seated across from her. Leah lowered her eyes feeling somewhat humbled by his admission that he was comfortable around her. There was a comfortableness between them that stretched a little too comfortable but Leah had not a care in the world to question it therefore she didn’t. Leah did wonder if Beau felt the same butterflies in his stomach that she felt in hers, of course she wouldn’t as him! That would be completely inappropriate. ”Then I guess there’ll be no keeping us from being friendly. I really could use a friend, ya know? And I think that you could too.” She was being a bit presumptuous but she felt that they were kindred spirits, of sorts.

Leah was taken by surprise when Beau didn’t pull his hand away from their grasp. She didn’t feel this was something friends would do under normal circumstances then again she didn’t feel as though these were normal circumstances. In fact she liked how it felt to have a firm grip on her hand. She didn’t get that at home. There was a lot she was lacking when it came to her marriage and her home life. ”Okay. I’m just putting it out there if you ever need or want to.” She glanced down at their joined hands then she flicked her gaze back up to meet Beau’s. ”Is this okay?” God knows she was fine with holding his hand, she didn’t want to let go. ”It’s kinda nice holding someone’s hand.” She didn’t need to say she was lonely, it was there in her eyes for him to see and she sighed heavily, sadly. He was getting married and she was married to a man that didn’t want her much less love her.

Beau looked across the table at those eyes of hers. Against all his better judgment, he felt like if anyone would listen, or even care at all, about what he said, it would be this girl. He brought himself to a piece of emotional real estate he hadn’t quite resided in before; he was going to tell her just this one thing. In his mind, he reasoned that it wasn’t that big of a deal for Leah to know. “You know,” he started a little nervously and feeling a bit sheepish, “I do attempt to write songs sometimes…” In the grand scheme of things, that sentence was miniscule, but for him, the lump it had been forming in his throat had been enormous. Somehow, she had gotten him to talk about something he wasn’t comfortable with saying before. He trusted her.

He had never felt this comfortable with a woman he wasn’t related to before, and he wasn’t sure if he had ever felt his stomach drop, twist, and flop around before the way it was now. It could have been hunger, but he’d never felt hunger do that. With a smile and a nod, he showed her that he agreed. He really could use a friend like her in his life. “I’m glad I can be the friend you need.” A small smile just rested on his lips, “And you’re right, about me needing a friend.”

Friends didn’t hold hands and friends didn’t feel the way he did when she was around. He would know: he had many friends that were girls throughout the course of his lifetime. Maybe this wasn’t right, but maybe it was. Maybe this was better than whatever The Vow had given them. He would never say that, though, and he would never try to harm her marriage any more than it initially was. ‘Okay. I’m just putting it out there if you ever need or want to’ he heard her say, and he nodded. Maybe someday he would tell her everything. If anyone could open him up, it probably would be her. Watching her gaze, he wasn’t sure what to say. Would he seem like an asshole for saying it was okay? He pushed those thoughts aside, squeezed her hand a little as if to say he wasn’t letting go yet, and smiled. “If it's okay with you, then it's okay with me...and it is nice to hold someone’s hand.”

How everything seemed to fall into place and feel perfectly normal when with Beau but not her husband Leah couldn’t understand. For some inexplicable reason she found it much easier to be herself, flaws and all, than it was to show that side of herself around her own husband. In truth it wasn’t fair to Josh but at the moment he wasn’t being exactly fair to her. He wouldn’t share his past with her and he seemed convinced that she couldn’t handle it if she did. She was in a lose-lose situation when it came to her husband. She sighed heavily but was not going to air her dirty laundry in front of Beau. She didn’t want him to think badly of her. It was his voice that pulled her out of her musings and had her blinking her eyes and refocusing on Beau seated across from her.

”How long have you been writing songs? What kind of music? County? Rock? R&B?” She didn’t mean to hurl questions at him and she smiled in apology for doing so but she wanted to know more about his interest in writing music. She loved music, loved it! There it was again, unexpectedly, that smile of Beau’s. If she’d have been standing surely her knees would have buckled, it was that sweet of a smile. She felt horrible thinking that though, he was going to be married soon. And wasn’t that depressing. ”Then we’ll be there for each other when needed. I’ll be here whenever you need me to be, Beau,” she replied sweetly.

If Leah was a smart woman, and in this setting with this man she clearly wasn’t, she’d have pulled her hand away and laughed it off as no big deal. Truth of the matter was that for her it was a big deal. Leah was a very affectionate woman, not that she was given much opportunity to be in her marriage she liked human contact as much as the next person. On the same token Beau didn’t see too hurried to break contact either. Damned inappropriate holding another man’s hand when he was engaged and she already married but here they sat and she felt content, for the first time in a very long time. ”Yeah, it’s okay with me,” she replied softly. ”I wish that you and I had met before signing up for the Vow. Things would have been different and this wouldn't be wrong. But...it feels right.” She was a damned fool! Leah didn’t know when to shut her trap and she’d just done what she did best, open mouth insert foot! Leah could cry she was in such upheaval in her life while Beau seemed so calm and collected about his own.

It wasn’t normal for him to have someone be so interested in all the little details of his life. The most unusual of it all was that she was genuinely interested in what he had to say, and for some reason, he didn’t mind at all. All the girls that use to drill him with questions about what he wanted to do, where he wanted to be, what he liked, and what he hated would drive him nuts, but with Leah, it was different. He wanted her to know him. Beau actually wanted her to know about everything because for the first time ever, he felt like maybe someone would understand.

Smiling at another one of her questions, he answered, “Country…I don’t really know anything else.” He chuckled a little. Growing up, it was either singing the gospel or singing George Jones. His pastor father wouldn’t allow of that other ‘strange, angry music’ to be played around him, and Beau and his brothers were always with his dad. It took until his freshmen year in high school for him to even hear other music. “What kind of music do you like?” He nodded and thought about how sweet she was. She was the kind of girl you could call at 3 in the morning, and she would pick up and stay on the phone with you. He liked that. He really did. "Thank you," he grinned.

He didn’t give a damn at all about his engagement at this moment. He just wanted to sit here forever, and he didn’t want to get married. Knowing something is wrong and stopping it in its tracks is what he had always thought he could do, but he knew this was wrong but wasn’t going to stop. He wouldn’t pull his hand away and pretend that this was nothing because it wasn’t, and because it wasn’t, he knew it wasn’t wrong. The whole thing was sending him into all sorts of confusion. He listened to her, and he wished they had met before the Vow too. “I wish it could have been that way too,” he nodded, “We could’ve fallen in love, you know?” The moment those words left his lips he knew he had gone too far. Smiling feebly and offering an apology, he spoke, “That was a little too far…I’m sorry.”

With friendship came the ability to be your true self without having to pretend you’re something that you’re not. At least Leah found it that way. She smiled slightly across the table at Beau. Their waitress arrived unexpectedly and dropped off their respective lunches then she left them in peace to continue their conversation. What had started out as an innocent lunch between friends was quickly, for Leah, becoming far less innocent with the passing of time. It was with Beau that she was able to speak what she truly felt and wished to say, not the same when with Josh, sadly.

”Ahh country. I should have guessed,” she replied softly, glancing away only momentarily before glancing back over at Beau. ”I like all kinds really. I do like country, I’m from San Antonio after all, that’s about all they listen to out there. I’d like to hear your music sometime, if that’s okay with you.” Beau was becoming more and more fascinated the more he revealed of himself. A mystery being solved right in front of her and he was drawing her in. ”How long have you been writing songs? Have you tried selling any of them or getting a label to pick you up?” If he had the talent of singing and songwriting Leah didn’t see any reason for him not to try and find himself a label to get signed to.

Leah didn’t give a damn about being a married woman. She was too focused on Beau and her mind was wheeling with ‘what ifs’. It was hard not to think of them when it felt to her that the man she should have been paired with sat across from her. Beau was attentive, he genuinely cared about what she had to say, her thoughts and feelings. Josh cared about number one, himself, and to hell with everyone else, herself included. A tough pill to swallow. Leah felt great relief upon hearing that it wasn’t just her having these unexpected feelings. In fact it took a weight of her shoulders that she wasn’t alone in feeling this way.

”Yeah, I really think we could have fallen in love. We’re a lot alike. If only.” She loved her husband, she knew what she felt for Josh was love, she just didn’t feel that he loved her back and Leah wanted more than anything to be loved. ”That’s not too far,” she reassured Beau, squeezing his hand and skimming her fingertip over the back of it. ”I feel the same. This is wrong, I know that. We’re already spoken for. I can’t explain why I feel this way, Beau, I just do. I wished for your wife’s sake and Josh’s that I didn’t. But I do. What do we do about it? Do we do anything?” She wasn’t sure what exactly was going on here and was hoping that maybe Beau could shed some light on it for them both.

Aside from the beautiful girl across from him, the arrival of that food was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. The gnawing hunger pangs he had been avoiding could finally be soothed. He listened to her attentively despite shoveling breadsticks into his mouth. He conquered a couple breadsticks pretty quickly then looked up at Leah sheepishly. Showing he was still very much listening, he replied, “I’m not that great,” he chuckled a little. “I’ll play for you, sometime…if you really want. I’m just an amateur though.” Somehow, she could get things out of him. Things that no one else could ever get him to say and things no one else could ever get him to do. He truly was a mystery, even to himself.

He shook his head a little, listening to her talk as if he had a chance at a label or anything like that. She had more faith in him than anyone before, and it scared him a little. It would feel worse than ever before to let this girl down. What if she knew about everything? Would she still smile like she smiled now? He cleared his throat a little then answered, “Oh no, no. I couldn’t sell my songs. I’d actually have to be good at guitar.” He smiled, joked, and sold himself short once again.

What if everything he needed was sitting across from him? It was a hard question to avoid. What if the Vow was wrong? He didn’t know how to keep himself from thinking that this, and not with his fiancée waiting for him somewhere, was the right place for him to be. How do you ask for forgiveness for something you don’t think is wrong? Beau had never been so selfish before; someone was going to get hurt. Someone was going to invest too much in a messed up relationship. At the moment, he thought that maybe that person was him. Here he was: wishing he was married to Leah. Leah loved her husband though, and there was everything in the world telling her that Beau was a bad idea. Maybe he was genuine, and sweet, and listened, but he was also a commitment-phobe, working class man who was holding hands with another woman not even a week into his engagement. All of the worrying couldn’t make the slightest difference when she ran her fingertip over his hand. Maybe, she was feeling the same way he was.

He looked into those eyes of hers and listened to that voice, but he had no idea what to say. What did they do? He hardly knew what he was doing now, let alone in the future. They had to do something, though. Living without her now seemed wrong. It was strange how someone could just walk into your life and all of the sudden you don’t know what to do without them there. It felt like he had known her forever. In a rush of unintelligent thinking, he took a leap. Mentioning them falling in love had been a mere dabble as compared to what he had to say now. “Do you want to come over, to my apartment, tonight?” He knew they wouldn’t have sex, but he wanted her there. He wanted to cuddle her, hold her hand, and kiss her. It was so wrong, but it was better in the secrecy of his home than here in this restaurant.

It bothered Leah to hear Beau sell himself short when it came to his music. He hadn’t come right out and said that it was his passion in life but Leah felt that it might be. It was important to him, she could see that much and her smile slipped when he’d spoken negatively of his music. She was shaking her head at him before he’d completed his thought. ”So you say, but what do others who have heard you play say?” Leah did smile a bit then and she nodded her head, pleased that he’d agree to play for her. ”Yeah I really would like to hear you play. And you’ve already promised me lessons.” Leah looked forward to those lessons, not just to learn to play but it would give her more time spent with Beau.

Leah dove into her burger and fries with gusto, much like Beau had attacked the bread sticks that he’d ordered. She chuckled at them both eating as though they’d never had a meal before now. He has as much appreciation for food as she had and it was something else that the two of them had in common, that wasn’t lost on Leah. They had much in common. ”I don’t see why you couldn’t. If you can teach someone else to play then you must be pretty good yourself.” Leah was confident that Beau could sell his music and she’d yet to hear it.

Two days ago Josh had packed up his belongings and left home. He hadn’t come back. Two days she’d slept alone in their bed and waited up for him to come home, he never did. Leah didn’t know where or with whom he was staying with. It could be another woman for all she knew. Leah knew that Josh had a propensity to like women, he had a straying eye that he’d admitted to having. And here she sat with a man that hadn’t so much as glanced at another woman since he’d arrived and Leah had taken notice of it. She was torn. She cared about Josh she did genuinely love him, for the man she felt he could be if he wanted to but his walking out on her stated blatantly that he didn’t love her in return and didn’t want to be that man. And then there was Beau. A man that was stunning to look at. She felt her heart skip a beat when he held her hand and looked at her. And something was stirring at the touch of their joined hands.

Leah blinked her eyes slowly and refocused her attention on Beau. Josh had left her, she’d asked him to stay and he hadn’t wanted to which Leah took to mean he didn’t want her. He’d said they wouldn’t work out. Maybe he was right, even if she didn’t want him to be. And Beau. God help her but he’d just invited her over to his apartment. Involuntarily her fingers tightened around his hand and she nodded her head slowly in the affirmative. There was no man waiting at home there was nothing and no one that would miss her if she didn’t come home. And the truth was that more than anything she did want to go home with Beau. She didn’t know what to expect out of it but she’d expect nothing. She smiled at him and answered with conviction. ”Yes. I’d like that very much.” She was a little nervous, she wasn’t entirely sure why and she was excited at the same time. Leah forgot all about her meal. ”When can go whenever you’d like.” Leah's heart beat a little faster and she smiled sweetly over at Beau.

He continued to eat breadstick after breadstick then switching to his pizza slices more than happily. The nervousness of seeming just a little obese had vanished when he had reached starving level. After everything Leah said, he was sure that a little binge eating wouldn’t change her mind about him, or at least entirely change her mind. She was entirely too sweet to him and had this way of getting him to change his mind about everything he thought he was. Maybe that wasn’t good, but it felt good to have someone telling you that you’re great all the time. “That’s right, I did didn’t I?” He smiled and wiped his mouth with a napkin, “I’ll let you decide how good I am then.” Sometimes with Beau, the most important things about him were the things he wouldn’t say. He use to play guitar all the time back in Alabama. Beau and all his friends would sit by the river, drink, and he would play guitar for them and the fireflies.

He wasn’t sure what this meant: she was coming over, and he was getting married in two days. What was it suppose to mean? Was he cheating? Hell, he didn’t even care at the moment. All he had ever wanted was to feel this way about a woman, and in proper twists of irony, it was the wrong woman. He didn’t want to be scared of getting married, settling down, having children anymore; this time, he wasn’t pretending to be able to do those things. Beau smiled when she agreed and hid a lot of his excitement with silence. Just like little girls, they were going to play house tonight, and just like every other stubborn little boy, he had never wanted to play house before. “Okay,” he responded and wrote down his address for her, “I get off of work at 7, if you wanted to come over then?” He smiled that handsome smile again. “Maybe I’ll teach you a few chords,” he winked. For some reason, he seemed to wink even when it wasn’t appropriate to wink. His father had always done the same thing, and his mother thought they were both just strange.

Glancing down at his watch, he noticed the time. This had been one of the longest periods of time he had gone without checking his watch obsessively. It felt nice to not know what time it was, but it was now time to get back to work. He signaled the waitress for a box to take his remaining food with him. He looked back at Leah, “I’m so sorry, I need to get to work, but I will see you later. Thank you for inviting me to lunch.” He squeezed her hand one last time then pulled it away and left Mancini’s. He spent the next few hours thinking about her red hair, her smile, her blush, her hands, her voice, and just waiting for the clock to strike 7. Inwardly, he was a little embarrassed about how strung up he was.