Butterfly in the Sky, I Can Go Twice as High, Tag: Naomi W

[Devin Moran]

Wednesday May 16th, 2012 @ Early Afternoon.

Today was a very full day for the Moran household. After breakfast there was Mommy and Me yoga down at the community gym for Caitie and Devin. Today was the newborn class and so Connor was put into the kids room for the hour. After that was a walk in the park and some time on the swing set. Back home there was laundry to do and naps to take. When everyone was up and ready to go it was to Daddy's office to join him for lunch. Devin reminded him that she and the kids wouldn't be home right away as Caitie needed some summer clothes in a size bigger and Connor needed floaties. That meant Shane would have the house to himself for an hour or so to have alone time or work on Caitie's nursery if he was in the mood. No matter what it was going to be completed this weekend when they could go furniture shopping as a family.

With a kiss from him to all of them, it was back into the car and on the way to the library. Connor couldn't read but he loved being read to. Devin felt it was never too early to have her children get into books. If Connor was like his father he'd need all the encouragement he could get. So with other mom's in Evergreen and kids of all ages, Devin made herself at home with Connor in her lap listening to the story that was being read to them. Caitie remained silent, looking up at her surrounds with big eyes and flailing legs and hands every so often to show she was still there too. There were only two times Connor started to get restless and Devin had to shoot the other mother's an apologetic look. If she was sure about it, Connor would be talking in no time the way he was imitating sounds more so at the sing-a-long at the beginning to get the kids to congregate on the magic rug in the kid section.

"There we go little girl. All clean... yes... all clean and pretty again." Packing up the contents of the diaper bag, Devin placed Caitie in the stroller that was her portion and double checked to make sure that Connor was buckled in. Sometimes she would strap Caitie to her and only take the single stroller but with seeing Shane and the book reading this just made it easier.

Walking out the bathroom door, Devin made her way to the books to check out a few for Connor's bed time when she thought she saw a familiar face. Devin had sent Naomi a birth announcement for Connor and Caitie, along with a wedding announcement. They were friends after all and she tried to keep in touch. Caitie's had come back return to sender though and Devin felt horrible for losing touch so much with her old college friends that she hadn't even known the woman had moved. "Naomi? Naomi Bachman?" she asked hoping that she wasn't having a case of mistaken identity again. "It's me... Devin... Devin Taylor... well Moran now... it's been awhile!"

[Naomi Woodcomb]

It was still strange for Naomi to think that her brother wasn't living under the same roof as her; that he had his own job, and even (sometimes, when he felt up to it) did his own grocery shopping and took his own paychecks to the bank. Strange, but exhilarating--though it also left her, from time to time, missing the fact that she no longer saw him several times every day, but rather every other day or so. They still texted daily, as even without her asking to, Caleb felt the need to keep Naomi apprised of how his life was going, and she was grateful for the insight into how the autistic man was functioning.

She still made it a point to see him as often as she could, though, a fact which was helped by the fact that her route in and out of town every day to work took her right past the library, where Caleb worked as the librarians' assistant--a position she was fairly certain they'd invented for him, which mostly consisted of any of the work that didn't require a library sciences degree or interaction with people. He was happy there, though, and had even begun developing tentative friendships with some of the other library employees, which was a huge step for him--and one that left Naomi beaming as she headed out of the library. God, it was a good day. Maybe she'd just take the rest of the afternoon off, surprise Alec at work with a coffee and some sort of sweet treat during his break, and then head home. It wasn't like she didn't make the time up; the good part of being married to a doctor was that when he was dragged into the hospital, she could indulge her latent, workaholic ways and put in some overtime.

She was headed out of the library into the sunny courtyard that sat out front when she heard someone calling her name--but not, she realized after half a confused second, her married name. Her maiden name. And it was a woman's voice. Who...? She turned, looking around herself perplexedly for the source of the voice, before her eyes fell on a brunette with two babies in tow. It took a couple more seconds for her to shuffle through her memory, find a similar face, age it up a few years; she'd barely reached the correct conclusion before the woman was supplying it for her.

"Devin!" she said with a laugh, turning to adjust her path back towards the woman and lean in for a quick greeting hug. "Oh, wow. Wow! I didn't think I'd see you here! This must be Connor, and--ohgosh, did you have another? They're beautiful! Wow. Wow." She laughed again, her slightly tawny cheeks turning pink. To be completely honest, she'd known that Devin lived in Evergreen--Alec had mentioned her at some point--but had forgotten in the wake of bat flu and so much work and Alec and Caleb and... well, there was also a fair bit of avoiding-her-husband's-ex-girlfriend-and-her-former-close-friend in there too. There was just... well. It was all a little bit complicated, wasn't it? And from everything she'd heard, Devin was happily settled here, so Naomi had figured it wouldn't hurt to give herself a chance to settle in too, before searching her old friend out.

[Devin Moran]

It had been awhile since Devin had physically seen her friend from college. Their group had been almost inseperable. In fact Naomi was one of the girls that had pressured Devin onto spring break trips. Eventhough there was Preston and the Weathersby boys and Alec here, Devin never really thought of one of her college friends winding up in Evergreen. At the beginning she thought it was because no one else was a desperate loser like she was who would marry a complete stranger. In the end though she figured it was more selfishness trying to keep her old life separate from the new life.

Still, she sent christmas cards and announcements. Seeing Noami felt like a pin prick trying to burst her little bubble of a world. She wondered for a moment how Naomi saw her. Did the other woman think she was a loser or brave or lucky? Devin knew it shouldn’t matter and she had told Shane that so many times but a little part of her did care and maybe not so much for herself but their children. Connor and Caitie shouldn’t have to be looked down upon by the outside world for the actions of their parents.

Letting go of the stroller, Devin returned the hug and smiled back. This was... well... awkward. Devin was wondering how long Naomi had been here in town. Was it a visit, was it to stay, was she signing up for The Vow? There was really no subtle way to ask those questions or even ask them politely without seeming nosey. But if Naomi had been here for awhile, Devin couldn’t help but wonder why she hadn’t said hello sooner. It was no mystery this was where she lived and by her comment about Connor, she obviously got his birth announcement with a return address on it.

“We came for the children’s reading hour. Trying to get them to like books early and undo some of their father’s influence,” she joked. Shane did accused Devin of turning their children into nerds, but Devin said at least they’d have a big vocabulary to draw insults from in a fight which made him laugh and smile. “And this is Connor...he’s a bit bigger now than the picture you got last year and I did... in March. This is Caitlin May Moran... Caitie.” Devin glowed when she talked about her children and she knew it. Anyone who knew her knew that she was born to be a mother and that int he end that’s all she dreamt of being. Now she was and life... well it was good. “I didn’t know you were in Evergreen let alone Indiana. Just a visit to small town america? How’s your brother?” Devin didn’t know much beyond that Naomi had a brother that needed taking care of but since she asked about her family, Devin felt it only right to ask about hers.

[Naomi Woodcomb]

Nope, this wasn't awkward at all. Not a bit. Now, Naomi was just hoping that Devin would be understanding about the whole... well, married to Alec thing. That and the haven't-called-because-I-was-nervous-and-then-deathly-ill thing. Luckily, conversation turned to the kids; kids were always safe territory, especially adorable ones like Connor and Caitie. "Right! Shane, right? And Caitlin May's a beautiful name. God, I can't believe it's been so long since we really talked... do you have a few minutes? It's nice outside; we could sit at one of those picnic tables out in the courtyard and just catch up." Nae, you are signing your own death certificate.

Of course, she was being ridiculous; Devin agreed easily, because Devin was just one of those people who was always accommodating and kind and reasonable. She'd understand. At least, that's what Naomi was banking on. "Caleb's actually here in Evergreen, now... he works at the library, helping the librarians out. He loves it," she said brightly, in response to Devin's earlier question about her brother.

As she sat down and Devin got the little ones settled--though at least they were still at that age where it was reasonably easy to restrain or distract them--Naomi licked her lips and decided to just address her old friend's first question head-on. "Um. I actually live here now. I just moved in not long ago--about five weeks ago. I've been meaning to look you up! Things were so busy in the beginning, getting settled into the new house and getting Caleb used to town, and then--well, that bat flu thing? I was in the hospital for a couple weeks. Totally crazy," she said with a little laugh, tucking a freefloating strand of brunette hair behind her ear. "And since then it's just been..." She took a deep breath before plunging on.

"Okay, to be completely honest, I was worried. You remember Alec, Alec Woodcomb? Oh, what am I saying; of course you remember Alec. Well, um, the thing is, we kind of ran into each other in April? And... well..." She couldn't help but look down at the ring on her finger. "Um. It's Naomi Woodcomb, now?" she said, her tone hitching upward at the end in a questioning way--not questioning the statement, but rather her sanity for just coming out with it this baldly. "We've been married about a month and a half... so... yes. There. Now you know." She took a deep breath, then crumpled a little again and looked at her old friend hopefully.

[Devin Moran]

“Mhm,” Devin stated with a nod as Nae asked about her husband’s name. If Naomi had just gotten to Evergreen then she’d be one of the few people who didn’t know about her husband and her. It was nice for someone to not ask if things were getting better with them or if Shane had stuck around this time. She didn’t have to deal with a person looking at her with pity or judgment. Not that Naomi would ever look at her in that way, Devin was sure. They might not have been the best of friends but Devin could recall that Naomi was not one for judging anyone. But who knew? She could have heard it right from the start that the couple picked as the perfect match was in therapy trying to save their marriage. Devin’s stomach knotted and she just tried to nod her head.

Adjusting one child and then the other, Devin settled herself at one of the tables. “That’s good! For both of you. I’ll have to bring him some cookies next time we are here.” Popping Caitie’s pacifier back in her mouth, Devin tried to get Connor to settle for a bit. He was a wiggle worm on the best of days and today he had decided he’d be a ball full of energy. Of course, he had sat during story time completely still so at least he wasn’t the kid screaming in the library.

“Oh?” Devin asked as Naomi stated that she moved here now. Maybe she had signed up for The Vow. For a moment she wasn’t sure if she should tell Nae to run away or that it is the best thing that could happen to her. And yet, even if Devin hated it because she fell in love with a man that when he was gone her world turned to grey, she’d do it all again. That was why they were going to get through this… they had to. “My neighbor’s came down with it and an… acquaintance’s wife. It sounded horrible. Somehow none of us got it… well Connor had a mild case they think back in the winter but nothing like this stuff.” The doctor’s all agreed that Connor had built up an immunity from earlier in the year and that Shane’s blood had been the reason why Devin hadn’t gotten it. His immunity had been passed to her which was then passed to Caitie so that they now lived in a little bubble of wellness. That was one thing they had going for them.

Then Naomi said that name and Devin’s mouth had gone dry. Of course she remembered… in fact, she had just seen Alec and it had been awkward. Not in that they didn’t have anything to say but in that there was something there and if things were different… but they weren’t and it was just better that Alec and Devin stay away from each other except when it came down to Connor until she could find a new pediatrician. “Oh… well… congratulations?” Why was there a lump in her throat? Of course Alec would meet someone else and get remarried and it wouldn’t be to her. She was in love with her husband but there was something about the quickness of it and the fact that Naomi… Naomi was her friend. Wasn’t there some rule against that? “I mean… Alec’s great… and he’s… yeah… he’s great.” God she was awkward and that usually turned into babbling with nerves.

[Naomi Woodcomb]

PHEW. That was the only thing on Naomi's mind when it came to Devin's reaction. Well, no, that's not entirely true--she was also thinking thank you god and in the clear! and yay, I will not get yelled at! But it all basically came down to the same emotion, which was relief -- intense and incredibly grateful relief. Naomi, oblivious to the hints of unease and awkwardness emanating from her old college friend, was over the moon that her news had gone over so well.

"Thank you!" the brunette said with a grin, tucking that same bothersome strand of hair back behind her ear as it fell forward again. "I know -- he's amazing. It's like... well, it happened really suddenly. He was in Vegas after his divorce with some friends, and I was in Vegas for a friend's bachelorette party, and we ran into each other somewhere down on the strip, and one thing kind of led to another..." She laughed, remembering that hazy, neon-streaked night in Nevada when she'd run back into the man she'd secretly been in love with years and years before. "I mean, it wasn't a dream wedding, but it's kind of a dream marriage -- and it'll make a great story to tell in the future, right?"

She leaned one elbow on the edge of the picnic table and propped her cheek against it, smiling a little goofily; she couldn't help it. Her husband brought that kind of look to her face with astonishing ease. Everything about him was just so... effortlessly perfect. His goofiness, his sweetness, how earnestly he put in 100% of his effort when it came to his job, how good he was with Caleb -- perfect. "You know, I kind of had a crush on him back in college, when you two were together," she admitted with a sheepish smile. "I guess I should probably thank you for introducing us. I mean, we probably wouldn't have gotten married if it wasn't for you, way back then, bringing us into the same circle of acquaintance."

She waved a hand then, laughing a little at her own rambling circumlocution. "I'm sorry... I'm just going on and on. It's so great to see a friend here in town, though -- I mean, someone who I knew before. How are you doing, though? How are things? Tell me everything." She was on a high; she had an amazing husband, and now she'd run back into one of her oldest friends, and best part of all, Devin seemed happy for her. Today was an amazing day!

[Devin Moran]

All Devin could do was nod and smile and say “mhm” at the appropriate times to demonstrate she was listening. Because right in the pit of her stomach was a giant ball of lead that made her feel sick. It wasn’t that she wanted Naomi to be unhappy, or Alec but with recent events it just made her feel different, weird. The thought of them together? She just wasn’t used to it... that was all. Besides, what happened with Alec was nothing. It meant nothing. She was happy now... wasn’t she?

“Yeah...a great story. It’s good that things are working out so well for you guys.” Devin really did try to sound sincere, and she did mean every word of it. But it was like Naomi had just punched her in the gut and all the air had been sucked out of her lungs. A small little voice in the back of Devin’s head reminded her that it could have been her but she quickly tried to dismiss it away. Shane and her were doing better. They had two children. They were married and together and he loved her. At least she thought he did. So why was she getting all knotted up over the fact that her friend had married her ex, who was only her ex because of minor factors several years ago? E

Bouncing Connor in her lap, Devin’s eyes looked at her little boy, then to Caitie. The hits just kept on coming as Naomi went into thanking her for introducing them to eachother. Even worse was the fact that her friend liked him while Devin was dating him. Some little vicious part of her that was still upset and hurting wanted to say that she could have been there instead of Naomi. But that wasn’t Devin. So she swallowed all the bile and all the poison that was building up inside of her. “Well... you know me. Glad to help where I can,” she smiled fakely trying to hide it in Connor’s soft hair as she gave him a kiss.

She would have loved to just blurt it all out. How Shane had left her, how they were in therapy, how she might have feelings for Alec but she loved her husband, and that some days she felt trapped by being a wife and a mother of two in such a quick amount of time. Instead she just smiled and jostled Connor lightly as he played with her hair. “Well... these two are keeping me busy and my husband, Shane, and I are doing fine. My brother Joshua has decided to move here.” Of course she left out the part where he decided to move there with his pregnant wife.

[Naomi Woodcomb]

It wasn't until Naomi caught sight of that fake smile that she had any idea that her words might be less than welcome -- might, in fact, be hurting her friend. Her heart dropped abruptly, and the expression on her face followed suit; the last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt someone, whether it was intentional or not. Especially when the someone in question was an old friend with whom she'd only just reunited for the first time in years -- who she'd hoped would share her joy at her new marriage and become just as good a friend again as she had been in college.

But now Devin was talking about her life and her family, and Naomi swallowed back her apologies and just smiled, the expression a little apologetic and hopeful at the same time, as Devin explained how things were going for the Morans. At least her life, too, sounded like it was going well -- disconnected from the rumor mill in this small town as she was, Naomi had had no chance to catch whispers about how the couple wasn't doing as well as Devin claimed. And Joshua was in town, too -- Naomi had only met him once, briefly, years and years ago, but as family-oriented as Devin was, it had to make her happy to have her little brother so close to her new family. And it'd be great for the kids to have extended family close by too. "He's in town too?" she asked rhetorically, her smile becoming easier. "Oh, that's great; I'll have to keep an eye out for him around. Well... someone who looks the right age and kind of Joshua-ish anyway. He's still practically a kid in my head."

She lowered her hands to her lap, fingers fidgeting and twisting over one another with an unspoken gesture of nerves. "I'm, um... I'm sorry if I said too much, or if I upset you. I mean, with the news about Alec. I just -- I guess I figured since you're so happy here, you wouldn't mind, which was stupid of me. I mean, you guys were so close back then... we all thought you'd be Mrs. Woodcomb." She gave her old friend a weak little smile. "I should've been more sensitive about how I told you, instead of just... dropping it on you. Are you angry?"

[Devin Moran]

“No he’s still a kid.” A kid who had no business being married or a father or any of those things. Devin wish that just for a month… a week… things could be good. Who knew that her brother’s mess up would bring Shane and her together a bit more. Still she wished it could have been better than her brother’s stupidity that had them talking like a normal married couple or really the couple they used to be. At least focusing on that was better than thinking about her old friend married to an ex-boyfriend who a few months before had kissed her in not a way that friends do. Maybe she should have blamed Alec.

And now she felt horrible as Nae was apologizing. Why should she even be upset? Well, Alec and her never had closure but then he had Audrey and she had Shane. Then all of a sudden that door was there again with Shane gone and Audrey and Alec having problems. Did Devin want to be Mrs. Woodcomb? No. She wanted to be Mrs. Moran… stay Mrs. Moran. Shane was the love her life and every cell in her body knew it. He was the father to her children, the man that when she wasn’t around him her heart ached. For so long she had felt broken and not even Alec was going to fix that. All he was, was a flickering flame in a very dark time. Devin didn’t get daylight until Shane was back, until that appointment where he held her and promised her that she was his and he wouldn’t leave her again… that he loved her. So then why was she upset at all?

“No… nonono… Nae I’m sorry it’s just… I mean…” Why did she always turn into a babbling mess when things like this happened? How much should she even tell Nae? “It’s just hard to wrap my head around… honestly… I mean… not that I think you two… and I’m sure you guys are great… and you’re wonderful.. and he’s a great guy… and I really should just shut up now,” she deflated on the end before looking at her two little ones and giving them a smile. “Alec and I… we had our time and it didn’t work… I still care for him it’s just well I didn’t know you even liked him back then.”

[Naomi Woodcomb]

"Oh." Nae wasn't quite sure how else to respond to Devin's comment on her brother's age. It seemed to her like the kind of thing someone would say when there were... complications. Issues of some sort. She didn't really want to pry while they were sitting there in the library courtyard with her children, right out in public, but at the same time, she felt the urge to ask her friend if she was all right. Well, for now, she'd swallow the urge and just trust that Devin would tell her what she should know. (She couldn't, of course, know just how much it was that Devin was holding back from her.)

The fact that Devin was rushing to reassure her should have made Naomi feel a little bit better, but the brunette woman couldn't help but remember that Devin, at least the Devin she'd known in college, had always been the type of person who'd try to set even a stranger at his or her ease. Was Devin just trying to make her feel better? If so, it was sweet of her -- and just like Naomi's old friend to do. But at the same time, well... that wasn't the kind of thing that Devin wanted to base this renewal of their friendship on.

"I didn't want you to," she admitted helplessly, looking at her hands first and then back up at her friend. "Know that I had feelings for him, I mean. It was... well, it was complicated. And -- " she bit her lip. Should she? She probably shouldn't, but... no, she couldn't start their new friendship out on a lie. "We slept together. I mean, years ago. After you two had broken up. I -- we -- it was one of those one time things, and we were drunk, and I'm starting to see a pattern in our decision making, but um... it didn't -- well, I don't think it meant anything to him? And I knew it would hurt you if you found out, and I was so embarrassed and ashamed, so I never told you, but I have to, now. I want to be friends with you again, but I don't want to keep secrets, so -- so there. That's... my biggest secret. I've never told anyone. But... now you know," she rambled, trailing off lamely and searching her friend's face anxiously.

[Devin Moran]

Naomi and Alec getting married was surprising. Devin could and would deal with that. Her old friend admitting that after she had broken up with the blonde soon-to-be doctor they had slept together? That was all new levels of awkward and a sucker punch to add to it. She wasn’t angry at them. How could she be? It was in the past and there was no changing it. Devin was a married woman with two beautiful children. Even if her husband on the best of days made her feel like she was insane, she loved him more than she ever loved Alec. But she was disappointed at the delayed betrayal… because that’s what it was.

The break up hadn’t been as clean as they made it out to be. There were so many frayed ends that Devin found herself thinking about Alec as she waited for her packet with the information about the man she was going to marry here in this town. But as always Devin was going to put on a brave face, she was going to make someone else feel better even when inside her stomach was turning and she wanted to scream. It’s what she did… it’s what she always did. Forcing Shane to go to therapy was the only time she had ever been fully honest and put someone after herself.

“It’s… okay. I mean it was a long time ago and we were broken up,” she said straightening Caitie’s outfit before looking back to Naomi hoping the woman would believe it. “Besides… I wouldn’t have these two guys if we hadn’t broken up. Things happen for a reason right?” That’s how she was going to look at it. Maybe if it wasn’t for her dating Alec, Naomi and him wouldn’t have met. And if they wouldn’t have met then they wouldn’t be married now. Yes Devin was going to take credit for their happiness because it was the only way she could remotely make what Naomi say feel right. “Wouldn’t change anything in the world for them,” she admitted looking with motherly adoration to her children even as Connor babbled away making spit bubbles and Caitie was still getting used to the world. It hadn’t been the plan to have children so close together but with Shane… she wasn’t scared. Hopefully Naomi and Alec had found that with each other, mainly because Alec needed it after what happened with Audrey. “He’s a good guy… Alec. Just… be careful with him?”

[Naomi Woodcomb]

To be honest, the fact that Devin forgave her meant more than Naomi ever could have put into words. Just hearing Devin say that it was all okay, that it wasn't going to ruin their friendship before it even got a chance to take off for the second time, took a weight off the young brunette woman's shoulders. She couldn't help but lean forward, careful to mind where the babies were so she wouldn't bump or jostle them, and wrap one arm around Devin's shoulders in a quick half hug of gratitude. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that, Dev. Really," she said, her eyes brightening again when she pulled away.

"Don't worry about Alec... I plan on taking care of him as well as he took care of me when I was sick. He's the perfect man, and he's perfect for me, and he wanted me... how could I not do everything I can to make that happy?" she asked with a little laugh. "Well, you know. You have Shane. And the munchkins. They really are beautiful, Devin..."

Her attention was grabbed a moment later by a woman a few years younger than herself, headed into the library with a cup from Starbucks in one hand. Once again, her earlier idea about surprising Alec at work cropped up in her head; she smiled at her friend. "I think I'll get a start on taking excellent care of him now. I'm gonna go bring him a treat on his break, at the hospital. Oh! And can I have your number, too, before I go?" she asked, pulling out her mobile phone from a pocket inside her purse. "We need to see each other again, soon. Maybe set up a playdate with Connor and Geoffy?"