April 2, 2011 9:30 AM

Easily said, Carter was not the happiest person in the world at this very moment. She only moved here because she didn’t really have time to date on her own, and let’s face it, she wasn’t getting any younger. It was every little girl’s dream to get married in a big beautiful ceremony and become a mother and somewhere along the way the woman had taken a few wrong turns. She had a big wedding once, it was so surreal and gorgeous and being in love was the best feeling in the world but for unknown reasons, he brain was still in successful psychologist mode and she never learned how to take time and actually be a wife. It seemed that and the fact the she never really spend any time with her husband cause thick tension to build and a freak pregnancy scare pushed the couple over the edge. The divorce was quick and painless and both had moved on and continued their careers but Carter was tired of being alone now. She would never admit it, not to anyone, but she still wanted that life for herself. It was how to get there that caused her grief and as the year went one; she felt there was simply no mother or wife material in her. She had been raised to be successful and smart and to be the best that no one taught her just how to be a normal person.

Dating was way out of her league. She had tried it many times before but it seemed that flirting was not her best feature, in fact, she failed miserably at it. Sure, she must have been sexy to look at but all the college level doctorate mumbo jumbo that came out of her mouth was the least sexy thing to any man. It was more a repellant, she had found, and the only men she’d ever connected with were fellow psychologist and apparently, they made horrible husbands. So she figured The Vow, would be her best bet. Just get matched and married and have a little pre-cut marriage, house, and life and it would be perfect right? But yet now she was in a chapel, getting dressed and ready with only a name of the man she was to pledge the rest of her life with and it was all happening very quickly. Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, long dark hair settled neatly around her shoulder, she stared into those scared blue eyes and gave herself a mental pep talk. It couldn’t be any worse that her last marriage. At least this man supposedly was here to settle down and get married and was well aware and able to commit unlike some people in her past.

A deep break, blowing some stray bangs out of her eyes, Carter smoothed the fabric of the white dress she was wearing, forcing any wrinkles away. Tempted she was to just wear her last wedding dress but that would be bad luck on so many levels, so she’d purchased a new one and hearing the music play, she was ready to embark on some new destiny. Hopefully the man she was to be married to was strong in mind, to tolerate all of Carter’s little quirks and most of all she hoped he could push her into being the woman she wanted to be. The last thing she needed was to marry a guy with a personality who only drove her to spend more hours at the office, it really would have defeated the whole point. Chances were, she would be skeptical anyway, as always, and put on her untrustworthy face. Trying to force her mind off the need to interrogate this new man on their wedding day so she knew who he really was and how his mind worked, she simply walked through the heavy doors at the back of the chapel and found herself staring down a long walkway to the altar, actually, frowning a little bit, though mostly in thought.

Although Kameron would never admit it, he felt a slight twinge of nerves as he stood in the chapel, awaiting the eventual moment when the doors at the far end would open and he'd see his soon-to-be wife walking towards him. He wasn't even a year sober yet, and here he was about to make this massive change to his life. It was enough to make any man sweat, let alone someone who was in a bit of a vulnerable place. It hadn't seemed so bad on paper, moving to a new state and getting an arranged marriage, along with a basic job and a new house. It was a clean slate, a way to start again, this time with his feet underneath him. But now that it was really coming to pass, well... it was a bit of a different experience.

He wasn't sure what to expect, and to be honest, he was trying not to expect anything. What good would it do him to construct some false ideas just to have them not be fulfilled? No, he was best just... not thinking about it. Which was something he should have been pro at, he noted with a bit of cynicism. At least, that was what everyone had always assumed of him -- that he wasn't capable of thinking. A stupid assumption, really, and one that had been particularly damaging. He felt a prickle of anger rise in him, before he managed to catch it and let it go. Would do even less good for him to be angry and throwing blame around on his wedding day. Wedding day... the second of April. For some reason, it occurred to him that this would soon be an anniversary date. He made a mental note to remember to look back on how he'd felt in this moment when he'd spent a year with his wife, and see what had changed, for better or for worse as the marriage vows said.

Brushing a piece of lint off the sleeve of his suit jacket, he breathed a sigh and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He could really go for a smoke right about now, but he figured it was bad form to walk out of his own wedding, even for a few minutes. He was armed with his customary pack, of course, but he figured he should wait until after the ceremony.

For a moment he wondered if he had time to slip away before it started, but as soon as he thought it, music began to play and the doors opened, revealing the person he was about to spend the rest of his life with. He studied her as she approached, noticing she was frowning slightly -- great, he'd already gotten disapproval from her, and he hadn't even moved from his spot yet. This was starting off ever so swell. At least her eyes were blue, that was a perk. As she got close to him, he nodded in his customary stoicism, not one for a particular amount of small talk. "H'lo," he said gruffly, and half-mumbled. "I'm Kameron." Not that it was particularly necessary, but even someone as stingy with words as Kameron Maloney knew when to say something totally banal, in the interest of social niceties.

Refusing to let the nerves or worries of the day get to her, Carter fleetingly wondered if maybe it would be to her benefit to be drunk right now. Maybe it wasn’t the time or place, and maybe she didn’t need to be stumbling down the aisle into the arms of her future husband, but it sure would have made her feel a whole hell of a lot better. Pushing thought of a barstool and some fruity cocktail from her mind for the time being, she tried to psyche herself up. Thinking or the worst case scenario as well as the happily ever after sweep you off your feet kind of man, she wasn’t really disappointed when she vaguely looked up to see the form at the altar. He looked pretty average from where she was standing and she was the kind of woman who could deal with average, or so she believed she could. Personality wise, Carter was not the easiest woman to get along with and her best shot of marriage may have been with a buff brutal type of guy who would take her shit and knock her down a few pegs but this guy would have to do. For company, if nothing else, she just didn’t want to spend the rest of her life alone and in a desperate measure, she just kept walking forward, the frown seeming to fade until she finally reached her destination and stood before a man she didn’t really imagine herself spending the rest of her life with.

Right away, she started picking out all the negative things about this guy, even though it was really wrong and against her psychologist instincts. She had to live with this guy and needed to pick him apart for her own good. He wasn’t much taller than her and certainly couldn’t have weighed too much more that she did; he seemed a little on the thin and lean side and dare she say . . . nerdy? And not in the bookworm, intelligent psychologist way, more like . . . average. Of course, everyone was considered average in Carter’s opinion and rarely had anyone met her expectations, which was the main part of her problem. Forcing a smile she he nodded and looked down at her, she made the effort to raise her head and brush a dark lock of hair out of her eyes, placing it back in its proper place tucked behind her ears and almost demanding for him to speak up when he mumbled lowly. ‘I'm Kameron.’ Great . .. they were going to be one of those couples that no one knew which was the guy and which was the girl. Couldn’t even be a no doubt guy’s name like Frank or Tom or William. Sighing softly, she shrugged, blue eyes meeting his gaze and looking right through him. “Carter,” she introduced simply and then looking to the priest in a rather impatient way.

She should have been happy, ecstatic, and maybe under normal circumstances, in love, she would have been but this was different. Here she was, all dressed up, and not feeling a damn thing. It was like this was just a piece of paper so that they could live in the same house and be accepted into the normal population when to Carter, she was just gaining a roommate and a friend, hopefully someone she could just talk to and relax with. At this point the woman, floated into her own little world, but into the depths of her brain to sort through her clients and their problems and paperwork stashed in her head while introduction were made. Obviously no one was going to object to this marriage, she didn’t notice anyone of importance sitting around in the area and was almost out of it enough to miss her own vows. Wow, it was really bad when she couldn’t even concentrate on real life enough to say her vows, she was so wrapped up in work. It needed to change and she was well aware of that but she couldn’t pull herself away from the only life she’d even known. When reminded for the two to join hands, Carter raised her eyes to meet Kameron’s again and this time offered a more genuine look as she relaxed a little, taking his hand and squeezing it a little.

There wasn't much Kameron wouldn't give to be drunk for this particular event, but seeing as how he'd proven he couldn't be trusted with such a state, it was probably better off this way. If he'd been drinking, he probably wouldn't even have shown up at all. But he still felt the itch for it, remembering how much he'd been told the first few years were the riskiest. Hopefully this woman -- his wife, he had to stop thinking of her as just a woman -- would be able to keep him in line and prevent him from slipping. He'd failed once already, he didn't need to fail again. He was tired of being sub par. And if he knew he was already being picked apart for all his negative qualities... well, he would've thought the relationship doomed from the start.

But for now, he was trying to give it a good chance, hope as much as he hated hoping. She was at least reasonably pretty, and looked to be about his age, which was good -- he didn't want to marry someone who was fresh out of their adolescence, because then neither of them would be able to hold any kind of responsibility. He attempted to smile back at her, the gesture uncomfortable and unusual for his serious demeanour. His facial muscles almost protested the movement, since it was so unfamiliar and strange. On the plus side, she didn't seem intent on talking his ears off, satisfied with just giving her name and nothing more -- he could live with that, especially since he'd hardly wanted to say anything at all in the first place. What was there to be said? They were in the chapel, they were dressed up, they were getting married. That was it. And he'd like to get this over with so they could get a move on.

It wasn't that Kameron didn't want to get married, it was just that he felt... awkward. Marrying someone you met thirty seconds before exchanging vows, it was a little bit unusual. But it was better than the alternative, that was for sure. He wasn't getting any younger, and the company had lured him with their promises of that perfect match and happy life, that stereotypical shit you saw in 50s movies or whatever. He'd take it, at this point. Better than nothing. He let her take his hand, not bothering to squeeze back. What was it supposed to do, reassure? Didn't make sense to him.

Right, he was supposed to say his vows or whatever. He assumed they'd have more significance later on, and that this was more for show than anything else. Probably more for the brides' benefit, so they could have their little dream wedding, although he presumed that involved more planning than he'd bothered with. And seeing as how she didn't bother him about it before they'd shown up here today, he assumed she was in the same boat as him and was in the interest of being economical. His wedding vows came from Google, seeing as how he had a difficult enough time with words as it was that he wasn't about to be able to make up his own. He'd toyed with the idea of Celtic wedding vows, seeing as how he was a big fan of his Irish heritage -- he had gotten, after he'd become sober, a tattoo over his heart of an Irish flag along with the Maloney family motto, In Domino Et Non In Arcu Sperabo, or In God and not in my bow I will hope -- but he had decided against it, and gone for something simple and easy to memorize.

Meeting her pretty blue eyes with his stoic brown ones, he began reciting what had taken him all of ten minutes to memorize. "I take you, Carter, to be my wife from this time onward, to join with you and to share all that is to come, to be your faithful husband, to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond," he said, leaving off the last line, seeing as how it had gone on to talk about love and all that and frankly, he didn't love her yet. Maybe he'd fall in love eventually, but at this point, she was just a person in a wedding dress that he was signing his life over to. With his free hand, he fished in his pocket for the little wedding band, and took her left hand to slide it onto her finger, hoping that it was a reasonable fit and not too snug or too loose or anything like that. Well, that had happened a little quicker than he'd expected...

Truthfully, this relationship probably was doomed from the start. Just about every relationship Carter had been a part of was doomed from the get go and always ended in a lot of pain and a very dramatic falling out. That was not the way to be thinking at your wedding however, and the woman tried to make herself believe this was the right thing to be doing and it would make her life better in the long run. She just needed to get to know the guy a little better and then everything would just click into place and happiness would ensue. Dreams like that didn’t just automatically come true though and deep down carter know that, which was probably causing the very emotionless look on her face. His smile was forced; she could tell that right off from the start and really wasn’t appreciating it. Really he couldn’t just give an effort and at least try and look a little happy about this? The act told her he was either really extremely nervous or the man didn’t want to be here at all. She assumed if you signed up to get married by arrangement, he must not want to be here so for the moment, she was betting on nerves. That was something she could handle and if he really felt that way, she would make an effort to make him more comfortable around once they got out of this damned chapel.

All of those thoughts took a drastic turn when he offered nothing at all when she squeezed his hand. Didn’t squeeze it back, didn’t really smile, just stood there. Within, her blood boiled the slightest thinking how she’d really done it now. Got married to some freaking emotionally detached goofball and already she could see how much work she would have to do to fix him; so many consultations and long talks throughout the night. It took a few long moments of thinking in the frame of mind until it came to her that this man was her husband and not a new client. She couldn’t treat him like that and probably would have smacked herself in the face had both of her hands not been holding his. So she was screw up a little, he certainly seemed a little bit off himself so they must have been the perfect pair. Shaking her head slightly, frown creasing her face once more, she listened as he said his vows, trying to focus enough to listen to what he was saying. It all seemed very cold and superficial though it couldn’t be much more when they were all strangers here today, pledging their life to each other for eternity. Shivering at the thought, she would admit to his vows being nice and was glad to find he didn’t mention love anywhere in there. At least they were on the same page in that respect.

With a ring on her finger, that actually fit reasonably well, his brown eyes gazing at her, it fell to Carter to speak now and she started with a deep breath. Her vows were recycled from her previous wedding with some big time edits made because it just didn’t feel right but it offered her some comfort. The dress might have been differed but knowing she’d been here before and she could do this, settled her bouncing thoughts long enough to be able to recite the words with no problem at all. “And I take you, Kameron, to be my husband, I vow to stand by your side through sickness and health, sorrow and joy, good times and bad, always being open and honest and faithful above all else.” Reaching around to one of the attendants nearby, she took the ring and moved to slip it onto his finger, not looking up for the time being. After the priest had pronounced them husband and wife, and encouraged Kameron to kiss his new wife, Carter shot the older man a dirty look before looking to her new husband with a sense of dread hanging over her. Another deep breath and closing her eyes, she leaned forward, hands still in his and kissed him quickly, soft and gentle, and nothing more than a friendly hello before pulling away and taking her hands back to smooth out the fabric of her dress. Right now she was mentally berating herself for agreeing to marry the man on the weekend when she had no excuse like work that she could run back off to in a few hours. It meant she’d have to spend the day with him, unpack and get to know him without being in her comfy office. Sure she was looking for a change but maybe she’d bitten off a little more than she could chew.

Kameron didn't mean to come off like he wasn't happy to be here or whatever; he just felt neutral about, well, everything, and he wasn't a good enough actor to pretend anything to the contrary. Besides, it was probably better that he wasn't acting -- he didn't want her to get any false ideas about him. He was so emotionally bankrupt that anything misleading would cause even more trouble than was bound to happen. They were getting married, there was no point trying to impress each other. Either she'd take him as he was or try to change or fix him -- and he certainly hoped for the former. Enough people had already poked and prodded at him in an effort to 'fix' his life, and this right here was going to be a test to see if they'd succeeded or not.

This whole ordeal had been... surprisingly painless, even if it was all just pomp and circumstance. He supposed if the whole thing was fucked, he'd find that out later, but this was at least an easy way to ease into the whole thing. Gave him a bit of time to numb himself mentally, reinforce that particular part of his emotional walls. He wondered for a minute at what point they were considered officially married. Was it when they'd both said their vows, no matter how bland and emotionless they were? Or when they exchanged rings, as he noticed his was a little big on him (he'd always had pretty small hands, for a guy)? Or when the priest pronounced them husband and wife and encouraged Kameron to kiss his new bride?

No sooner had that thought crossed his mind than Carter kissed him, so fast that he'd hardly had time to register what was going on, let alone be able to kiss back. Well, that had gone swimmingly. Personally he would've preferred kissing to not be involved yet; that came later, when you actually knew the person and had an emotional attachment of some sort to them. If he'd been given a chance, he would've asked if they could've just skipped it, but seeing as how that choice had been taken away from him, there wasn't much to be gained from it now. Well, he supposed it was an answer to his question -- because his question didn't matter anymore. For all intents and purposes, the ceremony was over, which meant they must've crossed that threshold of becoming husband and wife.

What came next? Well, he supposed they were to leave the chapel, and make it to their new home in those movie-perfect little streets, and start that oh so wonderful "getting to know you" process. And how, exactly, was this different from dating? All he could tell was that there wasn't any pressure, because they were kind of stuck together now. A break-up would take a lot more effort, which was almost like a twisted form of blackmail. Interesting. As they exited the building, now that they were Mr. and Mrs. Maloney (or so he assumed, he didn't know if she intended on taking his name, not that he cared one way or the other), he glanced at her and searched his threadbare word bank for something to say. "Shall we go home?" he managed after a moment, his voice still the same quiet almost-mumble. It was just generally how he spoke, unless he was at work and needed to be heard and needed to fake being a warm person for a few hours. Home... well, house, definitely. He'd see if they could make it a home.

[out!]