Drunk story, move this isnt litrature

[Dud]

I am drunkand bored it is 4 o clock so im doing this then going to bed so here ids my story called DUD TALES woooooo!

once upon a time there was a bloke called dud and he was AMAZING! he could use his mind ower so turn WATER INTO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES!

so one day i was up and some chav wanted to exploit my powers to get alcohol for free but i said NO!!!!!!!!! NO FILTHY CHav will have BEER FROM SUPER DUD

but then he had alot of mates who wanted to beat me in but i had PAILEY, THE INCREDIBLE HUMAN SHILED with me and togehter we fought off the dirty chavs valiently then i turned water into some vodka based beverage and we got quite drunk and went into reflex. but oyh no!!!!!!!! they wanted to play dj otzy HEEEEEEEEEY HEEEEY BABY OOOH AH

the whole floor wen tsilent apart from our heroes who decided NO DJ OTZY TONIGHT BIIIIIATCHES so i said to the dj could we have summer of 69 pro favour and he said HELL YEAH, I WAS ONLY PLAYING DJ SHITE BECAUSE THE EVIL EMPORERE TOLD ME TO. so he played it and everyone rocked out HARD woooooot

we ended up defeating the emporer with our funky moves but i am too tired to right that so i wil say goodnight

and pleease dont delete this til the day after tommorow so can re-read it when im sober to see how much of a foo, i am

goodnight and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

[Dav]

You'll find that they probably play the original version from dirty dancing, not the DJ otzy version in reflex. Still, sounds like you were very drunk. I have taught you well child.