I see you’ve decided to calm down a bit. Oh don’t worry, though. You still look plenty twitchy. I suppose you came back to me for information, right? Well bugger off. I’m in no mood to entertain some newbie who will be dead by the day’s end. Didn’t we have some discussions about me eating you last time we ran into each other? Oh well. You look too chewy anyway.

So you want to know what’s going on here. Now stop it with asking how you got here. I can’t even tell you where you are. Nobody knows whether we’re just on some island never heard of before or if we’re on a totally different planet or even in a different dimension. My vote is for different planet, but what do I know? I’ll tell you what I know. I know what’s going on with the politics of this place. Yeah, that’s right, even this lawless hellhole has politics.

You see there are four big groups on this island. Most people live on the first floor where there’s food and water. Everyone, humans, werewolves, animals, aliens, vampires: you name it, we got it. We even have cannibals on the second floor. Everybody bleeds into each other, of course, but generally people stick to their own little corners.

But lately, everybody has been jostling, pushing, shoving… and stabbing when the occasion arises. The cannibals want their run of the entire island and they are no fan of the predators who steal their, um, food source from them. Us predators want the entire island as our hunting grounds, screw territorial restrictions. Those good ‘ol extraterrestrials want all the resources at their disposal, but everyone else stands in their way. The rest of the humans, well they just want to be left alone and get the chance to eke out a meager living among the rocks. They are prepared, at least mentally, to defend themselves at all costs. Some of them even want the rest of us just plain gone, dead and left to rot in the ocean.

Sounds cliché and uncomplicated, eh? Well if it was that easy, this place would be…okay maybe not a breeze, but certainly easier to navigate. You see the trouble is that no one group can stand together long enough to actually ignite this little war we’ve been waging. Cannibals eat each other, aliens disagree on morals, humans are just plain afraid, and the predators are simply trying to survive. Everyone competes with one another, even among their own groups. And if that wasn’t bad enough, everybody is climbing the walls to get out around here, literally. There’s a hole in the ceiling somewhere in the middle of The Cave.

You can see trees from there, beautiful, perfect trees. But the walls are smooth all the way up. No one can climb it, but the bloody scratches in the walls tell of how many have tried. It’s a common feeding ground for predators. Everyone else is so busy escaping, that they ignore everything else. But so many come in everyday that there is always meat to go around. No one can climb that wall without some sort of climbing gear…unless they were a dragon, but I don’t think we’ve ever had any of those. Even if they could get out, we’re capped in. You can see it. This force field over the island. I don’t think we’re ever gonna get out of here.

Enough side tracking, to sum up what’s going on here: everyone is on the brink of war, we’re all already killing each other at an amazing rate, but everyone wants out and we’ll all do anything to get out, everyone is starving, and more people arrive here every day from all sorts of different walks of life. Of course, it was never easy here, but things certainly aren’t getting any better.

Do you think you can survive with us? Probably not.