Chaucer Returns to Hogwarts

[Richard Goodfellow]

Chaucer chose to Apparate on the inside of the gates of the school. The house-elf preferred not to enter the school via the kitchens, and was there as a guest, and not even an invited one at that, especially as he was wearing shoes and the mortician Jacob Marley's Armani suit (suitable shrunken). That Marley was unaware of Chaucer's "borrowing" his outfit was of no concern to the elf.

[Richard Goodfellow]

Chaucer waited. And waited. He wasn't ready to leave, and so headed over to the Forbidden Forest.

A voice spoke from nowhere.

"Chaucer to report to the kitchens."

Chaucer quietly fumed. Not-invited though he was, he was still to go to face the Family. Torn between picking fights with trolls, or going to the castle, the small being decided that the trolls would have to wait.

An invisible house-elf was a good house-elf. And Chaucer was not good. Gritting his teeth, he chose not to Apparate, and turned and headed to the market entrance.

[Richard Goodfellow]

The market entrance was at the far end of the castle, near the school's orchards and the gamekeeper's hut. Chaucer marched across the lawn, following the faint path that the cart from the village used. Most of the fresh foodstuffs were Apparated in by house-elves, but during the summer and the holidays, the pantries and larders were stocked up with the non-perishables. The door would be unbolted.

The kitchen entrance was at the farthest end, where wood was brought in and refuse taken out, and where there would be the most house-elves working at this time of day. He would have to go to the kitchens, but he would do it his own way.

[Richard Goodfellow]

As Chaucer went down the cart path, he decided to take the really long route - and go through the castle. The door that was used as the faculty exit was just off to the side, and he went to it.

It opened at his touch. Apparently he hadn't been singled out, and the door warded against him. Quietly he stepped into the castle, and proceeded up the narrow circular staircase, by passing the other doors, until he reached the Great Hall. He carefully pushed the door open, and entered.

The room was empty of all but the tables. The fireplaces were clean and empty, the banners had been removed. The ceiling showed the beautiful blue sky above. Chaucer meandered between the tables, walking down the center of the room, looking about as if he might buy the place. The doors to adjoining rooms were all ajar. A few dust motes danced in the sunbeams that came through the windows. As quite as he tried to be, his footsteps made faint sounds, with echoes.

He got to the end, and pushed the large doors open.

[Richard Goodfellow]

The great hour-glasses for the houses stood still and silent. The whole castle seemed to be holding its breath. Chaucer looked up the grand stairs, and down the corridors. He knew that the Ravenclaw Rehersal room had been taken back by the Ravenclaws, but felt no desire to revisit it. Nor did he wish to see the Ravenclaw tower. When the remodel and redecorating had happened, back in the summer before the Tri-Wizard tournament, it lost a lot of its charms for the former Hogwarts house-elf.

He took a moment more to compose himself, checked his reflection on a brass plaque, while ignoring the list of the names of the fallen enscribed thereon. Chaucer had been overseas when the Great Battle in the Great Hall had occured. There were no names on there of anyone that he knew personally.

He gave himself a second glance - a serious small being, in a very large place. He turned to the right, and through an invisible door-way, and decended down the stair to the parlour that was next to the kitchens.

[Richard Goodfellow]

The sound of the leather soles on his shoes made a satisfying "snap" sound. He refrained from an attempt to do soft-shoe or tap-dancing and marched on down the steps.

[Richard Goodfellow]

Hands behind his back, he turned and walked through the wall and into the parlour. There was a small committee of house-elves, all in their matching white hand towel togas, standing together in a group, some looking grim; others, slightly interested.

Chaucer put on his most nonchalant expression and took a few more steps into the room and stopped. He knew what he looked like to them, in his suit and tie, and sock and shoes. He pushed down all feelings of shame and anger, and took a quiet deep breath, and let it out, slowly.

"Chaucer is here," he announced. "Chaucer has other appointments, so Chaucer is here for the meeting, and then Chaucer will go," he said, his chin jutting up a bit at the end. The only other appointments he had for the day was the possibility of getting trounced by trolls in the Forbidden Forest, or watching the Moving Pictures Network with the off-duty Healers at St. Mungo's, or moping about the flat in Whitby.

But he didn't have to tell the Committe that.

[Richard Goodfellow]

One of the Committee stepped forward.

"Chaucer decided to come back?"

"Chaucer got the message," he replied. "Chaucer here for the moment. Chaucer will not be staying here."

The Committee eyed him.

"Why does Chaucer wear clothes? Did Chaucer's master give him clothes?"

"Chaucer wore clothes before Chaucer came to Hogwarts in the first place," he answered coolly.

There was a pause.

"So Chaucer's master before gave him clothes?"

"No."

He was going to make the Committee work for their answers.

[Richard Goodfellow]

One of the Committe, whose name was Wobbles, asked, "Where did Chaucer come from before Hogwarts?"

Finally! Chaucer thought. "From Weaver's Weaving Warehouse and Factory," he said.

Wobbles raised his eyebrows. "Chaucer not a true-house elf? Chaucer a factory-elf."

Chaucer was annoyed. "Chaucer is as true a house-elf as any here. Weaver's Weaving Warehouse and Factory was a house to begin with. All house-elves there worked in house. House became factory. House-elves worked in house that became factory.

He went on. "House-elves that work in factory were in danger from loose cloths." He would not use the word "clothes", for concern of upsetting the Committe further. "Towels got caught in rollers, pillowcases got caught in looms, and worse. House-elves were being killed by machinery. Factory wizards told house-elves that own fault for not adapting to modern times. Chaucer did not want to leave house-factory. Chaucer adapted to modern times, borrowed clothes from off neighbor's clothes line."

"So Chaucer is a thief?" Wobbles asked, as he looked at the Committee member sitting next to him.

Chaucer was upset. "Chaucer borrowed clothes! Chaucer returned clothes at night, clean and folded. Borrowed other ones. Found clothes in rubbish bins, and fixed to wear. No one give clothes to Chaucer."

Wobbles looked unconcerned. "And Chaucer found suit in rubbish?" He eyed the Armani distastefully.

"Chaucer borrow this suit from mortician," he replied, insulted that the Committe did not recognize quality when they saw it.

"And shoes?" Wobbles asked.

"And shoes," Chaucer said. "Factory not safe for house-elf toes."

"But Chaucer not in factory any more. When Chaucer at Hogwarts, Chaucer wore the proud crested dish towel. What do house-elves wear at hospital?"

"Chaucer is not a hospital house-elf," he replied. "Chaucer is Richard Goodfellow's house-elf."

Another Committe member leaned forward. "Has Richard Goodfellow given clothes to Chaucer."

"No! No!" The house-elf cried out. "Richard Goodfellow has not told Chaucer whatto wear, and has not told anyone to give Chaucer clothes!"

"But Chaucer 'borrows' clothes," Wobbles pointed out. "And Chaucer has caught the attention of S.P.E.W.," he said, pronoucing the letters as if he was spitting poison. "And now S.P.E.W. wants all house-elves to wear clothes."

"S.P.E.W. not Chaucer's fault," he huffed.

[Richard Goodfellow]

"Why does Chaucer wear clothes?"

The house-elf decided that telling the truth would be the quickest way out.

"Chaucer likes to wear clothes," he declared.

The audience gasped. The Committee looked shocked, angry, disgusted.

"When Chaucer wore towels at hospital, sick people thought Chaucer was a hand-towel and wiped hands and noses on Chaucer's When Chaucer carry trays, towels got caught on bed frames."

"Chaucer needs to be more careful," someone muttered loudly.

When Chaucer assisting Richard Goodfellow, others thought that Chaucer was a hopital house-elf, and gave orders that Chaucer did not need to follow. And then wizards and witches complained to Richard Goodfellow that Chaucer bad-mannered house-elf."

There were louder gasps and voices murmured disapprovingly.

"Chaucer wears towels or table runners or curtains or tablecloths sometimes, just not all the time," he said. "Richard Goodfellow does not mind that I "borrow" clothes."

"And what does his family say about that?" One of the Committee retorted.

"Richard Goodfellow's mother glad to recognize me from other hospital house-elves."

There was a disaproving murmur. "She doesn't know one house-elf from another?"

"Richard Goodfellow's mother has very, very bad memory. That is why she is in hospital," Chaucer said, knowing that he was telling a half-truth.

"Who else in his family?"

"Richard has friends. They loan Chaucer clothes, and say, 'Remember to bring it back'."

[Richard Goodfellow]

And that was another half-truth. Chaucer almost always took the clothes without asking, and when he was inevetably spotted, the owner would ask him to return the clothes.

Sometimes Chaucer even brought them back, cleaned and resized to fit the owner. Sometimes.