Prologue

[shinji_the_Good_Sharer]

Brought to you by: Shinji’s Good Sharing Inc.
“Just because our writers are nutty doesn’t mean we can’t be corny!!!”

Never Left Behind
Evangelion
by Shinji the Good Sharer
shinjithegoodsharer@gmail.com
http://shinjithegoodsharer.no-ip.info/

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. If you think I do then you’re out of your mind. This is a free fanfic and will NOT in ANY WAY generate money for my personal use.

Prologue
Growing up
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It had been a trying 10 years for Gendo Ikari. Yui had made him promise her he’d raise their son if anything happened to her, and damned if he didn’t try. The problem was Shinji acted like the spawn of Satan on a daily basis and constantly did whatever he damn well pleased. Like to time he drove about NERV HQ in a stolen golf cart running down techs after he got a hold of Grand theft psycho 20: World tour, for his playfactory game consol. Or when he had been caught stealing all the women’s underwear in the women’s lockers and sold them all over the Internet for money to get said game.

Yui would have been proud but it was starting to wear on Gendo’s sanity. Gendo had recently been diagnosed with a severe case of posttraumatic stress syndrome due to the “Santa” incident when Shinji had turned 7. Flashbacks kept plaguing him as he thought about the past torments of his son’s childhood.
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Mall Santa: "Hello there little boy, what would you like for Christmas?"
7-year-old Shinji: "Daddy said Santa is immortal and that he can't be hurt or caught. Is that true?"
Mall Santa: Sweats nervously at the wording of that comment. "Ummm... why yes it is my young man."
7-year-old Shinji: Hops off his lap. "Ok good, Ready... Aim..."
Mall Santa: Looks confused till he sees all the section 2 operatives pointing assault rifles at him. "No wait!!!"
7-year-old Shinji: "Fire!!!" *BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*
7-year-old Shinji: *watches then sniffles* ::Sniff Sniff:: "Waaaahhhhh!!! Santa isn't real!!!!!"
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That had been a bad scene, but none-the-less Gendo tried to cheer his son up.
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Santa: “Hohoho Hello there Shinji” *BANG*
7-year-old Shinji: Grabs the sack of toys and runs upstairs. “Daddy!!! Daddy look, I mugged Santa!!! Daddy?”
Santa-Gendo: Whimpers in pain as he clutches himself. “They said I wouldn’t need the Kevlar cup, they said I wouldn’t need it!!!”
7-year-old Shinji: “Daddy’s missing, what did you do with him?” *Click-clack* Santa-Gendo shook in terror as his son pointed his own glock-9 at his head.
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Gendo scratched his prosthetic balls where he had been shot that night. Shinji really was a sweet boy, just a sociopathic psycho. That night still gave him nightmares but he had pushed on trying to be a good father to his insane son. Misato Katsuragi had arrived in an interesting way, just as Shinji had started taking an interest in girls.
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11-year-old Shinji: Plopped down in Misato's lap playing with his new transformers toy of Megatron as a laser pistol.
26-year-old Misato: Looked down at the kid confused since it's her first day on the job. "Ummmm... who's this?"
Gendo: "My son."
Misato: "Oh, could you get him off me?"
Gendo: "No, because he'll shoot me."
Misato: Sweatdropped at the idea that a man was afraid of his 11 year old son. "How is he going to shoot you?"
Gendo: "Because he just found that 9mm in the thigh holster under your skirt." *BLAM* "Damnit Shinji that's the 3rd tech this week!!!"
Shinji: "Sorry pop"
Misato: Stared in horror at the headless body of the young tech in the seat next to her. She didn't complain anymore as the gray matter slid down her cheek.
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The Rei discovery by Shinji had ended up badly as well. Shinji and Rei are almost inseparable as they began growing up together. He found it cute when he had started finding them curled up together on the couches after school taking their naps. But that had only been the start.
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Gendo could only stare at the two children before him. Shinji, at 12yo, had finally stopped playing with weapons. Of course, his other interests in comics and old anime were causing some more problems. "Shinji, why is Rei a catgirl?"

Shinji looked up from his seat, his hand still petting the top of the neo-cat-girl's head as she sat purring on his lap. "Well, she said the sun hurt her so much, and I always thought cat-girls were hot, so I figured what the hell. So I drugged Ritsuko after I knocked out Misato, and well... Who knew genetics was so much fun."
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The day Shinji had discovered the Evas had been bad as well. Gendo had almost lost his mind that day. The repair costs had been off the charts by the time he got there. Gendo took his pills as he remembered that day.
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Gendo was now furious. "Rei II, Shinj, stop playing Rock’em Sock’em Robots with those EVAs now!"
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The worst day had been almost a year ago. Shinji had discovered the Rei tanks and turned them into his own personal brothel. There had been Rei’s everywhere crying about needing water, or that they couldn’t feel their legs. The head NERV medical technician who had arrived first commented on how it reminded him of a wartime movie he saw once.
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Gendo was pounding his head on his desk. He couldn't believe it. First he sees video footage of Ritsuko and his son fucking, thus destroying the front of his own relationship with the nympho doctor. And now, he learns that his son has knocked up yet another Rei. "Who knew the girl was such a damn screamer in bed!"

And to add to his worries, Shinji was also flirting and spending more time with Misato. "Oh, that can't end well."

Gendo slowly stood up and trudged towards the counselor. The NERV psychiatrist had gotten A LOT of business from Gendo Ikari. Shinji was slowly but surely taking his toll and driving him out of his mind. Through it all Gendo could only think one thing. “Maybe I should have left him with my brother and his wife.”



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End Prologue

Translations:
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Author's Notes:
MWAHAHAAHAHAA!!!! And just think, this is only the prologue!!!!!


OMAKES


omake: by Seikyo

Gendo sighed as he passed the command chair and to the elevator, the only thing he could hear were screams and laughter, gunshots and drive bys. As he finally got to his car he could only think of one thing.

'God.. is not in heaven, all is $%#^@ with the world'

He started to drive home, towards the sunset, before the mine under his car exploded as he hit that damned speed bump.



Omake: by Innortal

Gendo was tired and exhausted. he had spent all day trying to get the UN to not cut their budget after Shinji had hacked into their computers at Neo-Berlin and caused them to play porn on the communications systems.

Actually, that had gotten people to actually pay attention to the UN for once.

He headed home, knowing what he would find.

There was guarenteed to be at least four Rei's spending the night, another huge bill for some wanten distruction Shinji had performed during the week, either Misato or Ritsuko in bed with his son and one other Rei, while another one filmed it to sell through NERV productions.

Yes, Yui would be proud that her %^^^# son was a porn star.

"Damn it, I just wish those %$%$* Angels would ^$*&^$$ arrive."

He didn't even want to think about what would happen when the Second Child arrived.

Maybe some Mortal Kombat would change Shinji for the better.

"No, Shinji, you cannot keep the Third Angel as a pet!" Where did I go wrong?

[dogbertcarroll]

LOL! I still love this and am waiting for the rest!

[strikezero22]

That was awesome. I was laughing the whole time I read it.

[HieiOkami]

And I thought Innotal was random as hell. This has taken the whole pot of laughs out of me.

[Lord Sia]

Heh, awesome. You have to continue this.