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Special Delivery, Judged by Light
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Forgotten One
   
Group: Members
Posts: 534
Member No.: 42
Joined: 1-December 07

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| QUOTE | Tenyo:
Creativity: (3/3) Grammar: (2/3) Entertainment: (4/4) Net Score (NS): (9/10)
*Total Page Length (TPL): (9) *Adjusted Page Length (APL): (9) - (2) *Max Reward (MR): (7) x (30 LP) *LP Reward: (210) x (9/10)
NOTE: Very good. I liked the story and you did not over dramatize the characters. Perhaps Naruto is still a bit too immature for the age he would be at this point, but of course we do not know and can only base it off his current personality, so good job there. Minor grammar mistakes were found here and there such as “whole” for “hole”.
Rewards: Both D Rank Jutsu (Im sorry Jutsu, and Flower Petal Escape Jutsu) 189 LP |
| QUOTE | Hayate:
Creativity: (3/3) Grammar: (2/3) Entertainment: (4/4) Net Score (NS): (9/10)
*Total Page Length (TPL): (9) *Adjusted Page Length (APL): (9) *Max Reward (MR): (9) x (30 LP) *LP Reward: (270) x (9/10)
NOTE: I only saw a few mistakes here and there, which could have been corrected with re-reading it. HoweverImustsaythatthispartannoyedmeyetitwasfunnyatthesametime.
Anyway, good read, especially the ending of it. Too bad we did not finish the story as I would have liked to of seen where this went.
Rewards: 243 LP |
| QUOTE | Iroke:
Creativity: (3/3) Grammar: (2/3) Entertainment: (4/4) Net Score (NS): (9/10)
*Total Page Length (TPL): (9) *Adjusted Page Length (APL): (9) - (3) *Max Reward (MR): (6) x (30 LP) *LP Reward: (180) x (9/10)
NOTE: Alright, I will say this is your usual writing style in a sense. Anyway, typical grammar mistakes that are nothing too serious. Story follows good enough and thanks to me reading some of your previous stuff, I was able to understand it a bit more.
Rewards: -Shunshin no Jutsu -Kahen Tonsou no Jutsu -Kasumi Enbu no Jutsu. -162 LP |
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