Krakatoa!, Totem is my main weapon.
Mugen
Posted: Feb 8 2009, 12:47 AM


Genin


Group: Members
Posts: 17
Member No.: 202
Joined: 31-January 09



Krakatoa
Type: Primary Weapon
Range: Fighting
Rank: Chuunin
Chakra: 10
Description: Krakatoa is a large piece of the toughest wood cut and made from one of the many branches of the giant-like trees inside the Forbidden Forest. It was made by Mugen as a gift for himself after passing the chuunin exams. Although almost as large as Mugen, it is surprisingly light that allows for startling speeds to hit overconfident opponents. It has been given many customizations during its time with its owner especially along its body where onlookers or even the opponents themselves take a moment or two to see if the markings are either mystical signs or gibberish. And with a parodoxical personality like his it isn't hard to imagine that more customizations may and will occur.
Cost: 400 Ryou


SOURCE

first custom item. did i do everything right?
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Hayate
Posted: Feb 8 2009, 11:58 AM


Seaking


Group: Primary Staff
Posts: 565
Member No.: 88
Joined: 16-January 08



Yes, except this sentence makes me want to cry:

It has been given many customizations during its time with its owner especially along its body where either mystical signs or gibberish is clearly shown for all to see and with his personality it isn’t hard to see that more customizations will happen in the near future.
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Mugen
Posted: Feb 8 2009, 04:16 PM


Genin


Group: Members
Posts: 17
Member No.: 202
Joined: 31-January 09



Nothing serious, maybe just adding metal plates to compliment him if he ever gets to jounin. In which case i would choose the katon element, wherein a jutsu would be added that slightly increases damage.

if the idea still seems unfair or imbalanced, I'll just rewrite that part.
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Hayate
Posted: Feb 8 2009, 06:22 PM


Seaking


Group: Primary Staff
Posts: 565
Member No.: 88
Joined: 16-January 08



I didn't mean the actual weapon part, just the way you phrased the sentence.

It has been given many customizations during its time with its owner especially along its body where either mystical signs or gibberish is clearly shown for all to see and with his personality it isn’t hard to see that more customizations will happen in the near future.

Compared to:

It has been customized many times by its owner, whether it be mystical signs along its body or gibberish, and knowing Mugen, there will be many customizations in the near future.

Now, you don't have to write THAT, but like, could you make it pretty? And then, Approved.
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Mugen
Posted: Feb 9 2009, 05:15 AM


Genin


Group: Members
Posts: 17
Member No.: 202
Joined: 31-January 09



Thanks. Changing it now to a more superior description.
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Hayate
Posted: Feb 9 2009, 06:22 AM


Seaking


Group: Primary Staff
Posts: 565
Member No.: 88
Joined: 16-January 08



Much better. Approved ftw!
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Mugen
Posted: Feb 10 2009, 06:32 AM


Genin


Group: Members
Posts: 17
Member No.: 202
Joined: 31-January 09



would i still need to put in the description that it is kept in a summoning scroll whenever not in times of usage?
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