Always & Forever
Member No.: 5,313
Joined: 15th November 2006 - 1:57 am
Okay, so with A LOT of help and encouragement from the amazing Ems (freckleface), who I feel so sorry for that had to put up with my annoyance, I have finally been able to write and post this chapter that took so long to complete. Very sorry for the long wait, Ems this chapter is dedicated to you, your opinion means a lot =] and also for my other amazing readers.
Her blonde hair was spread out wildly on the pillow resting under her head as she slowly opened her entrancing brown orbs to gaze up at their pure white ceiling.
It was the first morning since she found out she was pregnant last weekend that she didn’t feel the repulsive urge to vomit and give into her sudden exhaustion to just sleep all day and she felt the persistent urge to bathe herself in that feeling for a little while longer.
She pulled up the covers to rest under her chin, for a moment almost forgetting the horrendous tragedies she and her husband, along with their friends at times, had over come & were about to prevail over.
Resting her hand over her flat stomach, feeling a flutter in her heart, she knew she had made the right decision in agreeing with her husband to parent their daughter or son. She couldn’t live with the guilt or unfixable pain of not being able to love the child that had been created from her & her husband’s unconditional love for each other. It was a beautiful yet frightening thing and she would be lying if she said she wasn’t afraid of being a mother to their unborn baby.
She couldn’t understand how mothers like Deb or Brooke’s mother, heck, even her own could spend such horrendous amounts of time away from their children. Even with her child still placed protectively in her womb and away from the dangers of the real world, she couldn’t imagine it despite her many selfish thoughts of simply erasing this baby from their lives in the past.
“Morning.” She heard her husband mumble tiredly from beside her, she turned to face his handsome features as he wrapped an arm protectively around her waist and pulled her close towards his chest.
“Good morning, nate.” She whispered, attentively placing a hand on his smooth & shaven cheek and staring into her husband’s intense blue eyes that seemed to reel her in with invisible string.
“What are you thinking about so early in the morning?”
“Everything. Nothing.” She shrugged, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.
“Your parent’s are coming into town tonight, you nervous?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes as let out a struggled breath of air, removing his arm from her waist to tiredly rub his eyes with the back of both his hands, haley silently groaning at the loss of contact from her husband. The last couple of days Nathan had been acting like she was made out of glass, always touching her gently and making sure she barely moved her @$$ up from the couch or bed. Sure it was nice for the first few minutes but was it really too much to ask to share a rough and passionate kiss with your husband up against the kitchen counter?
“Very nervous.” She confirmed, brushing her fringe back behind her ear as she snuggled towards her shirtless husband.
“Maybe we shouldn’t tell your parent’s just yet, I mean, you aren’t even showing.”
“I would rather announce this really important news to them face to face rather than over the phone and knowing them they probably won’t be back in tree hill for months.” The young female decided, twirling her wedding ring that was placed comfortably on her finger in hesitation.
“This stress can’t be good for the baby or for you.” Nathan said knowingly, he shot her a serious look. Hoping she would give into his concerns and take it easy every once in a while.
“You need to stop being so over protective.” Haley pointed at him teasingly, not noticing his sudden serious expression.
“I can’t help it. I got so close to losing our family, I just don’t want to ever feel like that again, that feeling that you can feel everything you’ve ever loved and cared for slipping away, it terrified me, hales. I love you too much. You and already even the baby.”
“We love you too, Nathan. I just, I want to make sure that our baby never feels the way jimmy felt that day.” Haley confessed, letting out a sigh as Nathan placed a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth. “To feel like he or she has to go to such extent to finally get some one to listen to them. I want this baby to be surrounded by nothing but love and acceptance and I want to make sure our daughter or son never has to witness what we saw that day in the tutor centre, you can’t get over something like that and the guilt could even eat you alive.” Haley admitted, speaking about the incident openly for the first time in two weeks. She was simply sick of keeping her feelings bottled up and away from her husband, their marriage and relationship had grown more in these two weeks then she would ever think possible and the feeling of sharing every feeling with Nathan had come out of an instinct of love.
“Me too, baby. That’s everything ill ever want for he or she. I want it to be one hundred percent happy and it will be, you know why?” he smiled softly, brushing a hand threw her honey blonde tresses lovingly.
“Because our baby is going to have one amazing mother. One amazing milf.” He smirked, giving her a quick wink before pressing his lips against her tantalizing ones once again. He couldn’t help it; they were always calling out to him due to the fact that he was addicted to her like a drug.
“Milf?” Haley giggled, a blush creeping up her cheeks as she pulled apart from her husband with a questioning smile.
“Yeah, you know. Mom Id like-“
“I know what it is and I think that is what got us into this situation.” Haley smacked at his chest playfully before wrapping her arms around his neck, holding him tightly close to her like he was the last string of hope she had.
“But seriously, you’re going to be an incredible mother.”
“Everybody keeps saying that. I mean the two people that know.” Haley shrugged slightly, remembering that bedside’s her and Nathan it was only Lucas and Brooke who knew of the pregnancy, it felt surprisingly hard to keep the news from most of the town along with people they loved and cared for deeply, always feeling like their forbidden secret was going to roll of from the tip of their tongue but both knew that they would share the news with everyone once they too were comfortable with the idea. “But it still doesn’t make me feel any less the terrified at the thought of letting down our child. we are one hundred percent responsible for this tiny person and its so pressuring and frightening yet completely out of this world of at the same time.” Haley sighed; slightly amazed at the human being growing inside her, not noticing the sudden insecurities that rushed threw her husband as she continued to ramble on.
“We have each other, hales. I know we will do okay, sure we are going to struggle trying to figure out this parenting stuff, but I know well make it.” Nathan said, trying his best to assure himself along with his wife. He knew that if Haley didn’t have someone bedside’s herself believing they could make this happen then she would forever be haunted with the fear and stress of becoming a mother. “And considering you have a bunch of nieces and nephews you are going to help me out with all this stuff considering the only baby ive ever seen is Jake’s daughter Jenny.”
“What? You’ve never seen any of your little cousins, no family friends or nothing in all your years of living on this planet? Surely you’ve seen a baby”
“Well of course ive seen babies here and their around the place but have never really interacted with them for long enough. After my parent’s moved to tree hill we barely kept in contact with my parents’ family. Sure we occasionally saw them at thanksgiving or Christmas but we were never really big on getting together with the whole entire family. It was mostly just my mom, dad and me.” Nathan sighed, running a gentle hand down Haley’s shoulder.
“Speaking of you parents, when should we talk to them?”
“I don’t know.” Nathan shrugged, trying to avoid speaking to his parent’s for as long as possible. “I somehow need to get them both in the same place at the same time because somehow the news would travel to one or the other. My mom has been missing in action since admitting she tried to set fire to my dad after divorcing him and my dad is surprisingly busy with the dealership so I haven’t really gotten around to talking to them. Some screwed up family I have.”
“hmm.” Haley agreed with a groan as she detected a small flash of sadness and regret washing over her husbands piercing blue eyes. Being put into the same shoe’s his father had been in almost eighteen years ago gave him an uneasy feeling.
“You probably should try to avoid setting me on fire if I find out you ever you slept with Lucas or history could repeat itself.” Nathan teased, watching his wife’s face scrunch up in repulsion due to the fact that she looked at Lucas like he was her brother also.
“Ill talk to my parent’s when the time is right.” He decided.
“I could come with you, after all we are in this together, husband.” Haley grinned, snuggling into his chest and inhaling the sweet scent of his familiar cologne.
“Knowing my parent’s they will somehow blame this on you and I don’t want you to go threw that; don’t worry ill talk to them. And that reminds me, ive picked up some extra shifts at the dealership so I should probably get going. My shift starts in half an hour.”
“Aw, do you have to?” Haley pouted as her husband slid out from under the sheets, searching around their small bedroom for the work clothes he had thrown somewhere around here the night before.
“We do need the extra cash, babe.” He reminded her with a small wave, running a hand threw his short dark hair.
“I should probably start thinking of something to cook for dinner tonight anyway, you would only distract me.” Haley decided, following suite and crawling out of their bed and instantly wrapping her silk robe around her small frame before tying her long blonde locks into a messy bun on top of her head with the hair tie she found placed on her bedside table.
“Or, I could pick something up from Karen’s.” Nathan suggested, buttoning up his black dress shirt, not realizing the frown of confusion that formed on his wife’s face as he tried to give his wife a solution that didn’t result in her overstressing her or the baby.
“Are you kidding me? Not only are we going to tell them I got knocked up but they are also going to eat something I was too lazy not to make. Not happening, I want this to as normal and smoothly as possible or they will only remember their daughter picking up take-a-way for them because she didn’t think they were the effort on the day she told them she was pregnant.” Haley rambled in shock, Nathan trying to stifle his laugh as took a seat on the edge of the bed and roughly pulled on his shoes and tied up the laces.
“You’re crazy, I highly doubt they will be thinking of what you served them for dinner on the day you told them you were pregnant with their grandchild.” Nathan grinned, he finally felt like they were returning back to normal after the whole Jimmy Edwards incident at the tutor centre, sure it was still fresh in their minds but they were trying to focus on a new factor in their lives, the future, instead of being stuck in the past of what could and been and with the guilt that was eating away at them both.
“Trust me, my parent’s will find a way to torture me about this announcement for years.”
“Okay, but don’t slave around the kitchen too much.” He mumbled, slipping on his suit jacket with ease.
“You look so sexy in that suit.” Haley purred teasingly into his ear, placing a kiss on to his freshly shaven cheek before skipping out of their bedroom with a giggle.
Nathan smiled tightly at the customer, watching them walk away with a smile worth a million bucks due to their decision to purchase the latest sports car from Dan Scott motors. Nathan stamped the deposit receipt with today’s date, placing it into a yellow folder before putting it into the filing cabinet and sitting back into his leather chair with his hands linked and resting comfortably on the table, in the office his father had assigned him to.
“The Jensen’s finally decide to put their retirement money towards that sports car they’ve been eyeing for weeks?” Dan asked, making his appearance known as he walked into the simple and unfurnished office, sitting across from his son who sat behind the office table.
“yeah.” Nathan confirmed, rubbing a hand over his tiered face.
“Yeah. Why do you ask?” Nathan asked curiously, the only time his father had asked him a question concerning him it was to always do with basketball and the tone in his father’s voice showed genuine concern.
“You’ve been staring out into space all day and I know that something must be wrong for you to have come to me out of all people for a job.”
“You pay well.” Nathan shrugged simply, trying not to get into detailing on the real reason why he had opted to coming here. It wasn’t all a lie, his father did pay him better than any other part time job he had applied for and if supporting a baby was as costly as everyone said it was then they really needed and had recently become dependant on Nathan’s paycheck.
“So, you’re having money problems?”
“The usual.” Nathan answered vaguely.
“I never told you how glad I was that you made it safely outside from that hostage situation that day at school. It must be pretty screwed up to hear those words from your own father two weeks after the incident but I thought you and Haley would want your space.” Dan said quietly, Nathan wanted nothing more to scream out and disagree with most of what he had said. He didn’t need space, it was the opposite. He needed a father but with years of his absence in his life he no longer felt that urgency. He now had Haley and their baby and the love he felt for them, his wife returned back unconditionally.
“It has been hard.” Nathan admitted, a double meaning gracing his words as he made eye contact with his father for the first time since he entered the office.
“I know I haven’t always acted like it but I am your father and im here if you need me.”
Nathan nodded, twirling his wedding ring around his finger nervously before looking up to his father. “Haley is pregnant.” He announced softly, waiting for the anger filled words of disappointment slip from off his father’s tongue.
“Ah… wow!” Dan chocked out, feeling speechless for almost the second time in his life when history had repeated itself. “Are you going to keep-“
“Yes we are going to keep it.” Nathan answered almost defensively.
“Im...Im glad.” Dan answered carefully, almost shocking himself as much as Nathan.
“Why are you being so accepting about this, aren’t you going to yell or rant about how my basketball carrier is going down the drain?”
“No, you’re making the best decision you think possible. I can’t judge.”
“Are you on drugs?” Nathan questioned seriously, squinting to catch some sort of hint that his father wasn’t at all himself.
“That day at the tutor centre affected us all; I don’t want to lose you, Nathan. I know this won’t fix everything-“
“It wont.” Nathan agreed calmly, resting his elbows against the wooden table and resting his head in his hands as he let out a struggled breath of air.
“How do you feel about it all?”
“Exited and scared. I spent so long convincing Haley that having this baby was going to be a good thing that I never really got to be scared about the fact that im going to be a father so soon and all those insecurities just washed over me on the way to work.”
“You will both be fine.” Dan assured his son, pursing his lips together in curiosity as he took in the appearance of his son. “I hope you know im proud of you, Nathan.” This statement surprised the teenager, his head shot up as he met his father’s eyes, shinning brightly with the love he covered with his confident ego and façade. In all the scenarios he had conjured up in his mind while imagining how his father would react after telling him that haley was pregnant, this reaction had never even came close to the one’s he had imagined.“im really sorry for all the mistakes I did in the past, but I hope you know that even though they were wrong, they seemed right in the past and I thought deep down I was doing it for you.”
Nathan nodded silently, a sudden rush of emotion running threw him. He knew that if Dan was sharing such meaningful words with him, when he never had, it was taking a lot of effort to do so. He didn’t understand what was happening but feeling the first instincts of fatherhood kick in, he could suddenly realize why Dan had gone to such lengths, sometimes good and sometimes bad, to make sure he had everything he had, or thought he had ever wanted. Sure it didn’t make it all right and it didn’t erase the many years of bullying, but it made him realize that one small or big occurrence could affect everybody.
This post has been edited by naley_23 on May 3 2008, 7:06 am
Don't look forward to the day you stop suffering, because when it comes you'll know you're dead.