Here's Your Degree..., On the job with Doris and Carole

I've always threatened that Doris and I need our own thread to showcase the bright lights we run across during our work lives. With a new school year, I figured I'd finally start one. Doris, help me out on this one.

These students, :assministrators, and other people who cross our paths are why we feel

I'll start it rolling. Doris, help me keep it going.

You lucky civilians, pitch in and help us feel better -- please!

My students have set a new land-speed record in Stupid Things to Tell an Instructor.

I had one today tell me, he would like the ability to fast forward time. He has me for two classes three times a week. Each day that week, he would fast-forward until he was done with me. How come it never occurs to them that I'd like to do that too?

A second one informed me that it was my fault if she didn't learn the material from my class. So, it's my fault that you don't study for a test or write the papers for my class? Yeah, right.

This may turn into the second longest thread on ML 35.

I shouldn't be, but I continue to be amazed that this is actually the way some students think....if you can call it thinking. You don't bother to attend class half the time and even when you show up, you don't take notes. You wait until the 4th week of the semester to buy a textbook and don't take advantage of all the resources available, but it's the instructor's fault you didn't pass the course.

Makes sense to me.

Signs on the vending machine in the student lounge:

ALL ITEMS $1.00

OUT OF ORDER

Seen in front of vending machine:
Student putting money in. Machine spits it out. Student tries again. And again.

Said (by me) in front of vending machine:
"The machine is out of order."

"Really? Dang!"

Here's your degree.

A student walks in and wants to pay his $25 application fee. I ask him if he's going to pay by check, credit/debit card or cash. He replies, "Cash." I respond, "Do you have the exact amount? We don't have any change right now." He nods and hands me a $20 and a $10.

Under my breath...."let me guess - math major".

Kind of like your very own blog, right here at the Lodge!

I'll pin this to the top of this forum.

Students like that grow up (well, sort of) and evolve into the co-workers who never take the blame for their screw-ups...the ones who immediately blame others when things don't go their way.

Doris, if you actually had said that to him, I bet he wouldn't have gotten it.

It's Monday -- they're too tired from the weekend to do anything stupid -- YET.

It's Monday -- they're too tired from the weekend to do anything stupid -- YET.

Don't I wish.....

Student: "Do you work here?" (I was standing at the drink machine deciding what I wanted).

Me: "Yes."

Student: (holding a piece of paper and pointing to something printed) "I signed up for this class, but it doesn't say what time it's supposed to start."

Me: (squinting from far sightedness) "Oh, I don't know. You will have to contact the instructor."

Student: "But I don't know whose initials TBA stand for."

Me: "Those aren't initials - it stands for To Be Announced."

Student: "Oh, ! I probably missed the first class.

Me: "No - it according to this schedule, the class meets on Tuesday and Thursday." (under my breath....this obviously isn't the first thing you've missed). Contact the department and find out when it meets."

And people wonder why I cannot get rid of the twitch over my left eye.

This is Moose Lodge's pillow to punch. Shelley you may be saving lives and or keeping people out of jail.

Both, Mike. Believe me.....both.

While I was making my way across campus to get my parking permit renewal, I saw someone who pretty much serves a poster child for, "It's more important to look cool."

He had one foot in an aircast and was hobbling along on crutches...but he had to stop every 10 feet or so to hike up the jeans that were hanging below his butt. Everytime he paused, the weight of his backpack caused him to almost lose his balance. I'm willing to bet that he will be admitted to the hospital within the 24 hours after he breaks his neck....but he looked cool doing it. Idiot.

This is the week of IDIOTS.

I have muttered that about the bright lights who, while waiting to get into their class, spread across the hallway and block traffic in both directions. They either are too stupid to know what "Excuse me" means or selectively deaf.

I have wondered why remote controls (and their batteries) for our equipment grow legs and walk away. Apparently, students think if there's no remote, that $1000 piece of equipment is useless and that that is cute. I grew up with a TV without a remote. I know how to make that $1000 piece of equipment work just fine.

Sadly, there are remotes missing off carts that faculty have to sign out as well. Some pocket the remotes for use at a later date. That later date never comes, and no one else can use the remote either.

We have a new toy to play with that is an audience response system, complete with remotes. I said immediately, "I'll have to do sign out of the remotes. My kids will think they're toys and want to keep them."

Getting up off their lazy butts and actually using the clearly marked controls for power, volume, etc. which are on the equipment?! That would mean (gasp) resulting to manual labor. They can't subject their minds and bodies to that type of punishment!

If you're late for class and you are a commuting student, expect to have to hunt for a parking space. Don't rip up and down each row on two wheels, ignoring the directional "up and down" arrows hoping that you will luck out and find a spot right in front of the building. You're 20 years old, for crying out loud. You should be able to walk an extra 40 yards without going into oxygen debt. While you're wasting time and gas (and endangering lives) driving around, you could have parked and starting walking.

Carole - I cannot believe the way students behave nowadays! I would never disrespect a teacher the way they do! I was so scared to raise my voice in class, I can't believe the things they say.

One day, they're going to disrespect the wrong person (for example: a boss) and get their butts handed to them (or fired).

Vicky - I have said many times I'd love to be there when some of these rocket scientists have their first job interview. They will wonder why they didn't get the job. It will never occur to them that it just might be the fact that they were 30 minutes late......or walked into the room with an Egg McMuffin and a cup of coffee.....or were wearing hoop earrings the size of Frisbees and a skirt so tight they had to stand the entire time.....or a dress shirt with no tie, unbuttoned at the cuffs and not tucked inside the pants...or began the answer to each question asked, "Uh, it's like......".....or address the boss-to-be as, "Dude".

A lot of them won't get fired because they'll never be hired in the first place.