Welcome

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

The car engine revved as Razz drove quickly down the street, Emilia gently holding onto the seat as he drove to keep herself from falling over. He was angry, mainly because he just had a one on one yelling match with her ex fiance, who was hanging out with Kendall. Emilia wondered why he was around her, but at the moment, she wanted nothing more than to be home. She didn't want to think about it, but she knew she was going to have to since Razz was very upset by this. Emilia had never seen him blow up like this, and she was concerned as to what lead to this. It couldn't have been just Kendric, as much as he was pissed off by him. Emilia felt horrible for what happened at the house, and how Kendall's sweet grandfather had to break up that fight. He told Kendric to leave, and told Razz to cool off. Yet instead of wanting to cool off, Razz deciding that he was going to go home, which brought Emilia here. She was mainly worrying over how quickly they were driving, and whether they were going to be spotted and given a ticket. She didn't really think it would be a wonderful situation if Razz had to deal with a cop when angry. Things have been getting better, but like everything else in her life, they had their complications. Emilia glanced over at Razz sadly, she was tired, and she just wanted today to end. She wanted to lay in bed with Razz and forget the entire world around her.

After pulling up to the house, Emilia watched him slam the car door as he got out, and quickly and quietly followed him inside. This whole scene was making her nervous. She had already been previous upset by seeing Kendric, and the yelling didn't help. Emilia hated yelling, and she tended to not fight with people because of that. The last time she fought with someone it was Felix, her little brother, but they just don't get along. Being surrounded by that much bad energy left a sour feeling in her stomach. Emilia could tell Razz was steaming with anger, and she grabbed him by the arm gently before he would go anywhere else once they got inside the house. She couldn't let this be, she hated seeing him so upset and angry. Emilia was his wife, and one of her jobs was to make sure Razz was happy.

" Razz, please just calm down and talk to me," Emilia pleaded, a concerned expression on her face as she looked at him. She didn't want him to be angry anymore. " What happened back there? I've never seen you so angry, what's bothering you?" Emilia asked. There was something going on that Razz wasn't telling her, but then again, he didn't tell her about his problems at all. It bothered Emilia, and for a very long time she ignored that issue in their relationship. But now, they were married and she couldn't avoid this anymore. She was his wife, and if she couldn't be there for him, their marriage was going to spiral. Emilia had seen this happen before, keeping secrets was toxic to a marriage and a relationship. Emilia always tried to be honest with him, even when it was hard. Still, she wasn't perfect about it either. After the baby died, Emilia shut down, and it took her more than a month to start speaking again. She had a bad feeling that within that month, something was bubbling up in Razz's emotions, that was bound to blow.

OOC: Her Outfit from the house

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz had always been a very patient person. He could deal with a lot. He had always been able to deal with a lot. He had a doctor for a father who was extremely busy. He had a mother who ran a daycare that he would have to help out at. Not to mention that he had two overly curious, and hyper younger twin siblings. His best guy friend had at one time in the past slept with his wife, on more than one occasion. His best girl friend was pregnant with a baby she didn't want, engaged to a high school student she loved, but she still didn't feel like she was ready to be married to him, and now she had apparently cheated on her fiance with the high school student who was formerly engaged to his wife and used to beat her. Not to mention, that Razz had actually wanted a child, but him and Emilia lost their child due to whatever possible reason that had to do with Emilia's health. Really, so much had happened in such a short amount of time, that even a temper as even as Razz's was beginning to waver. It showed. A lot. His college professors would point out that his songs no longer were sorrowfully sweet or as bright as the sunshine, but they were now something closer to what a punk band would sing about. He just wanted to go for a jog, or bang out a song on the piano, or something. For now though, he was fine with breaking speed limits and slamming the car door shut.

He sighed as Emilia grabbed his arm and asked him what was wrong. It wasn't Emilia's fault. His let out an angered breath, trying to not grind his teeth as he held in his anger. Razz didn't want to talk about it. That was something he just wasn't used to. Talking was never how Razz handled anything. He kind of just went into his shell, didn't talk about things, and dealt with them when he went to the gym where he took it out on a punching bag. Otherwise, he just sat there quietly, waiting for the stress to let go on its own before he was able to go back to doing his usual everyday things. Today was not one of those days where he had a lot of control, though. He was just glad that Kendall's grandfather had stopped the fight before it got to out of hand. Razz still considered it a win though. Kendric was the one who got kicked out, not him. He had never been happier that Kendall's grandfather was practically his own.

"It's nothing, Emmi," he grumbled out, wanting for her to let go of his arm. He just wanted to go take a nap. Or something that involved not having to deal with people. This was another one of those traits that had been drilled into his head as he grew up. "Just bottle it up and pretend that it doesn't bother you," his father would tell him as he were growing up. "A real man can handle his emotions, even in the most stressful of situations. Or, at least, that's what your grandpa would tell me as I was growing up." Razz usually just took all these lessons to heart. Mostly because, though he had never met his paternal grandfather, he had heard plenty of stories about him. A "man amongst men" is what Razz was told his grandfather's platoon members used to say about him. He eventually made a lieutenant general for the Army, and was considered a renaissance man for his many interests and hobbies. He was the type of man Razz aspired to be when as he grew up. If not exactly like his grandfather, at least as morally strong as him. It was a hard legacy to live up to, but he had done a relatively decent job most his life. Except for today. Razz ran his free hand over his face and let out a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "I just need to go to the gym or something and blow off some steam."

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Nothing? Emilia could hardly call that nothing. She knew Razz too well to know that this was all nothing, and had never seen him blow up in someone's face like that. It troubled her, and she had a bad feeling that there was it was something he couldn't just sleep off. Emilia was an open book, but with Razz it was a little harder. She knew when things were bothering him, but getting him to talk about things was like pulling teeth. No matter how hard she tried, absolutely nothing got through to the other side, and there was always this wall that kept Emilia on the other side. She didn't know what was running through his mind, even though she wished that she did. Emilia couldn't read minds though, and sometimes she felt like in order to stay with Razz, that was exactly what she needed to be able to do. Razz never told her anything, and normally she wouldn't mind. Normally, Emilia would pass it off as Razz being Razz and not bug him about it at all. But after everything that has been happening, Emilia couldn't let this silence continue anymore. Emilia felt herself becoming more and more disconnected to Razz ever since the death of their child, and it was scaring her. She didn't want to lose Razz, not ever. Letting go of Razz's arm, Emilia let out an exhausted sigh, running her fingers through her hair. " Razz... We can't just ignore this and pretend like it didn't happen," Emilia said softly.

She could feel the heart wrenching nausea in her stomach as she watched him walk away. Emilia couldn't keep this up anymore. She was losing her ability to keep her mouth shut and let Razz walk away and handle his emotions without her. As selfish as it sounded, Emilia wanted to be part of that, she wanted to be someone Razz could vent to, or just talk about how he was feeling. When he was tired, sad, angry, hurt, happy, anything. Not just this blasé "okay". It wasn't nothing, and it wasn't okay. Emilia felt the more she tried to break down that wall that kept Emilia away, the faster Razz built it up. She was tired, and frustrated. It was getting to the point where she couldn't tell what he was feeling and that was terrifying. If she didn't know what he was thinking, she could at least tell how he was feeling. Recently, she couldn't tell at all. Emilia couldn't lose him, she couldn't stand the distance.

" Raziel Joshua Jefferson, don't you dare walk away from me," Emilia finally snapped, her eyes burning with angry tears that she refused to let surface. She couldn't take this anymore. " You never want to talk about anything, and usually I would let it be, but we just can't do this anymore, goddamn it! Not after everything has been happening. I need you, and I'm sick of feeling like you don't need me because you can handle it yourself. That's bullshit, and you know it! I'm trying to be open with you, Razz, but every time I try to get you to, you pull away and I'm stuck here feeling vulnerable and I am sick of it," Emilia blurted out. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she could feel herself shaking with how upset she was. She didn't mean to snap at him, it just came out. All her emotions were running wild, and Emilia could feel her self control and her mental filter withering to nothing. " What are you so afraid of, Razz? Because I can't handle this silence anymore, I can't handle another second of it," She said, sternly. She wasn't going to walk away from this, even though Emilia knew it would have been better if she did.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz stood there shocked. Emilia never snapped at him. Especially not like that. He was frozen to his spot as she spoke. It's really not like he tried to be this way -- well, not anymore. It just happened. It had close to never been like Razz to just say what was wrong, or what was going on. "It's nothing", "I'm fine", or don't worry about it were always the first things that came out of his mouth before anything else. It was easier to do that than to actually tell anyone if anything was wrong. That would have to admit to something being wrong. Razz would rather just pretend that everything was alright and that he could move past things without being too bothered. Keeping up walls was a lot simpler that letting people in. He never let anyone past that emotional wall he had built up. He had begun to let it come down when Emilia was pregnant, but then the baby died. He saw how Emilia couldn't even speak for a month. He had to be strong. He got all of his crying and mourning as soon as possible. He emotionally distanced himself from everyone. Pretending that his emotions weren't even there made it easier for him to help Emilia get through her one month of silence.

What was he afraid of? He supposed he was afraid of letting his emotions get the better of him like he almost let them when the baby died. Not that he would admit it if anyone asked. Razz never really had the same fears as anyone else. Unlike most people, he feared what was already inside of him. He feared not having control over himself. He hated not having control. It made him feel weak and vulnerable. He was afraid that if he spoke about any of it to anyone, that carefully constructed, impenetrable wall would come crumbling down to rubble. There wasn't anything that terrified him more than that happening. Just the thought of it upset him.

He turned on his heel to face Emilia. "If you haven't noticed, Emmi, we don't talk about things in my family," he said as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet. "I don't know how it was for you, but I was just taught to bottle things up and keep a wall built up, to prevent people from getting too close!" He could feel himself getting tired from being angry already, but there was still more leaking out, keeping him energized. And Razz was stubborn like a goat, he wasn't about to just back down. "I'm a Jefferson. We're a very military proud family. We don't talk" -- his fingers made quotation marks around the word talk -- "about things. We work out, we sleep, we play video games, and we drink beer. That's how we've always dealt with things!" Now he could feel himself draining out just a tad. He knew he shouldn't be angry with her because she was just trying to help, but Razz didn't want to talk about his emotions. He just wanted to pretend they didn't exist.

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia could feel the anger sizzling in her as he spoke. She hated when he spoke like that. It was un-human the expectations that his family put on his constantly, he wasn't a soldier, it wasn't fair. As much as she hated it, she knew he had a point. The way she was raised compared to the way he was raised was completely different. Razz was taught to be a strong, alpha male and Emilia was taught how to be the delicate, graceful, fragile princess. Delicate, that's what she fucking was. And she hated it. She hated it because she knew that if she was stronger as a person on her own, Razz wouldn't feel like he had to be strong all the time for her. She hated that she was one of the causes to this. It made her more angry at herself than anyone else. Emilia was always trying to be there for him but she was one of the things that was crippling him from being open. Emilia couldn't believe him sometimes. She couldn't believe that he would try so hard to be the macho man that his father obvious raised him to be. It wasn't in his nature, he wasn't heartless. Emilia had seen him feel things, unlike his father, like the night he rushed her to the hospital to keep her from bleeding to death. She saw how afraid he was, how un-soldier-like he was. What his father trained him to be just wasn't him. Emilia refused to believe that, she knew how much passion he had for things. She remembered how he looked at the stars the night they met and how enthusiastic he was as he pointed out the stars to her.

And now it was all crashing down. That fairy tail romance they had was crumbling underneath them, and the harsh reality of being a newlywed couple burned it down to ashes. It was cruel. They always had things happen to them that they could overcome, but they had never ever had problems like this. Between the two of them. Nobody else. No Akuti, no Tristan. Just them. And it was heartbreaking. Emilia didn't want to fight. She wanted to stop, she wanted to break down crying and hold Razz tightly. She wanted to apologize for snapping at him and make up. But she didn't, she wouldn't. Not only would her pride not allow her to, but that weak, fragile princess that she loathed about herself kept her from it. Emilia couldn't stop herself, and the more she spoke, the more she hated herself for saying it.

" I am not your father!!!" Emilia yelled, her hands clenched," I don't expect that from you, don't you get that?! I don't want the strong male Jefferson, I want the Razz I fell in love with, the one who was passionate and alive, who got excited over teaching me about the fucking stars, the one who has been disappearing since-" Emilia could feel the tears rolling down her cheeks as she paused. " Since the day we lost our baby," Emilia said softly, before wiping away her tears quickly. Her sadness was quickly stifled with how angry she was at herself. " I realize it was my fault it happened, Razz," She said bitterly," And I have been trying so hard to make it right to you, but I can't." Something snapped in Emilia as he tried to tell her it wasn't her fault. " Don't lie to me!!! You know just as well as I do that it was because of the drug use, so don't you dare try and tell me it's not my fault because it is." Emilia felt the bitter jealousy when she thought about the baby, when she thought about Kendall. " You know what the worst part is? Kendall's having a baby she doesn't even want. And I have to see her thinking what I did wrong. I'm sorry," Emilia said, running into the bedroom and slamming the door. She couldn't stop the tears, and she hated herself for yelling at Razz like she did. Her parents trained her to be the delicate, fragile princess. And that's exactly what she was.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz felt the sting from where Emilia actually brought up how they had lost their baby. He didn't blame her for her past, or for the loss of their baby. He really didn't. Bad things like this happened everyday to people who didn't deserve it. Him and Emilia being two of those people. He couldn't deny that he was jealous, though. They had lost their baby while Kendall was pregnant with a child she didn't even want. As cruel as it may have seemed, why couldn't it have been switched? Kendall practically hated the life that was growing inside of her, she wouldn't have minded losing it. Him and Kendall had actually discussed it a couple of times. She wasn't ready to be a mother, or to be married. Razz, on the other hand, wanted to be a parent, and Emilia had come around to wanting to be one too. It was cruel and unfair. He wanted to stop fighting with her, and was about to suggest it when she went running into the room and slammed the door shut. How did they get like this? Not too long ago, they were happy and laughing, on their way to show his grandpa -- Kendall's grandpa, but for all intents and purposes, his too -- their wedding photos and to drop off some souvenirs from Hawaii.

He knew that she wasn't just going to let him into the bedroom. He was afraid to try anyways. He didn't want to continue arguing with her. He just went to the linen closet and pulled out the extra pillow and blanket meant for guests. He would've just went to the guest bedroom, but that wouldn't feel right. Razz set himself up on the couch, kicked off his shoes, and turned on the television. What felt like hours passed as he stared blankly at the tv screen. He couldn't take it anymore. He needed someone who didn't confuse the crap out of him to talk to. Pulling out his cell phone, He dialed Tristan's number and waited for the call to be answered. "I don't get women," was the first thing he said when the phone was answered. He heard a movie playing in the background and a girl's voice, followed by Tristan groaning and asking, "What did you do this time?" Razz was a bit offended by that. Not completely, seeing as he had done something, but he wasn't right out going to admit to it. I don't know! I was doing what I usually do when I get upset, and she snapped at me." "So in other words, you were being an ass. You know how women are, you just cant ignore them." He supposed that he had a point. "... Can you come over so we can talk? I need someone that I can easily understand to talk this out with?" he pleaded desperately. Razz just wanted to talk to someone he understood, that understood his need to be left alone when upset. "Duuuuuude I can't, I'm chilling with the little sis. I don't know what you did, but get your ass over to Emilia, apologize, give her a kiss, and talk to her like a man. Even your dad talks to your mom about shit, Emilia's your wife. Talk to her. Go. Now." Though he knew Tristan was right, he didn't want to make things worse by trying to talk to her. "You're supposed to be on my side for this kind of stuff, Tris" Yes, but I also know you. Emilia is a sensitive girl, you affect her more than you know and more than she's willing to admit. It's cute, a little sad but cute." "How badly needed is this talking thing? On a scale of 1 to 10?" He heard nothing, but silence from Tristan for a good moment before he replied, "Do you seriously even need to ask? Be a man and TALK TO HER." Razz had to hold the phone away from his ear at that last part since Tris yelled at him. "Alright! Alright.I'll go talk to her and work things out. Gosh." "Good, and be nice. Stupid." With that, Tristan hung up on Razz. He was left staring at his phone screen, mumbling "Thanks a lot, bro."

He got up from his spot on the couch, turning off the tv and walking over to the bedroom door. He knocked on it softly, hoping she was still awake. Razz knew he wouldn't be able to sleep on the couch. He had gotten too used to sleeping in the bed with Emilia, that it would be impossible if he even tried to. He knocked again when she didn't answer. "Emmi," he called to her through the door. "Emmi, I'm sorry. I was being an ass. Can I come in and we can talk this out, please?" He felt a bit like a puppy wanting to be let into it's owner's bedroom . But he would wait there if he had to. He couldn't sleep knowing she was angry with him.

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Silence filled the room as Emilia lied down in her bed, a blank expression on her face as she stared up at the ceiling. The sun had set, the room darkening as the rays of light began to fade. Emilia considered turning the light on, but it was late. She wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything, but she couldn't. This throbbing in her chest wouldn't stop. Her chest ached, and as much as Emilia tossed and turned in the bed, she couldn't sleep. Sighing. She caught herself doing that constantly as she laid on the bed quietly. Turning onto her stomach, Emilia buried her face into her pillow. She wanted desperately to just sleep and forget about the entire fight, like it didn't happen. But it did happen, and Emilia wasn't going to fall asleep. She wanted to go out to the living room and tell Razz she wanted him to come to bed, but she couldn't. She couldn't stop thinking about the way her mother and father raised her. To be weak, gentle. Emilia didn't want to be that anymore. She wanted to be strong, but she couldn't. No matter how tired she was, she couldn't sleep. Her eyes were open and alert, and though it was late, nothing was happening. Emilia felt empty and lost. She glanced at the clock, seeing how late it was. It was only ten, but it felt so much later. Emilia was so drained, the more she lied in bed awake the more upset she was thinking about what just happened. Emilia never yelled at Razz before, she never got into a fight with him. What happened?

Emilia listened to a knock on the door. She wanted to jump up and open the door as quickly as she could, but she didn't. Emilia laid down, listening to him knock again. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She was going to try to be calm and diplomatic, but somehow she knew that wasn't going to work. Emilia felt too much, and was too emotional. While she wished she could be cool and collected, Emilia was just too passionate about everything, which made her extremely vulnerable to getting worked up. Emilia wanted to rush over to Razz as quickly as she could, but she stopped herself. She sat up slowly as she heard Razz's voice through the door. He sounded upset, and was apologizing. As much as Emilia wanted to be a bitch about the entire thing, she couldn't. Standing up, her hair a slight mess from all the tossing and turning, Emilia ran her fingers through her hair, opening the door as she looked at Razz sadly.

" Razz..." She muttered softly as tears began filling her eyes. Emilia cut herself off so much when he was gone, but as soon as she saw him everything came flooding back. " I'm sorry," She whimpered, hugging him tightly as she cried," I'm sorry I yelled at you, I didn't mean to." Holding Razz close, Emilia buried her face in his shoulder, hugging him as tightly as she could. Being angry was not one of Emilia's strong points, especially when it came to Razz. She never could remain annoyed or upset at him for very long. " I don't want to fight anymore," Emilia admitted, still hugging him tightly, his arms around her waist as he held her close," I love you so much, I never wanted to hurt you, I'm sorry." Emilia felt herself crumble as he held her close, she wasn't a strong person and she knew it. She couldn't stop apologizing though, she felt so horrible. Emilia hated yelling, she hated fighting. Especially with Razz , her husband. The love of her life. Emilia knew she practically blurted out everything she was feeling as soon as that door opened. She knew that she couldn't hide things from Razz, but she didn't mind it. Emilia couldn't sleep without him, she didn't want to.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz held onto Emilia tightly as she cried into his shirt. he felt like a huge douche for making her feel terrible like that. She was his wife. he was supposed to make her happy, not sad. Tristan was right; Emilia was his wife. He needed to talk to her about things. Being who his father had raised him to be his entire life when it was just him and Emilia wasn't going to work. He had to get passed that their baby had died. They were still young, and could try again. "I love you so much, too. I'm sorry for being such a dill-hole " he mumbled against the top of her head where he pressed his lips to. "And you had every right to yell at me for being an inconsiderate ass wipe," he said to her, nuzzling her as his arms remained wrapped around her. He never wanted to fight with her again. He felt horrible right after they had finished their argument and wanted to make up right away. Razz hated just seeing her upset, being the one who did it to her left a considerably worse feeling in him than seeing her like that. He hated it. Razz holding her so tightly was partially just because he felt that if he didn't, he was going to lose her. He didn't want to ever risk losing her because of a fight, because he was too stupid and prideful to admit to anyone when something was wrong and he needed someone to lean on. No, Razz would do just about anything if it meant keeping her, even if that meant going against what his father had taught him about what it means to be a strong man.

He lifted Emilia in his arms so that her feet were barely off the floor as he carried her to the bed. He fell onto the bed so that they were laying right next to each other. Razz pulled her into him so that he was hugging her as if he were hugging a teddy bear. She was his Emilia, and he was her Raziel. They were going to last no matter what. They had so far. Any obstacle they had before them, they got through together. And they lasted for this long, so he figured they could last forever. He nuzzled her again, burying his face in her hair. he felt so much more at peace when he could just hold her like this. The world felt right when everything was alright between them.

I'll work on sharing exactly what I feel with you more. Swearsies," he promised her as they laid in bed. He pulled the covers over them and kissed her softly. How him and Emilia worked so well together confused him sometimes. They were just so different. He supposed that was the reason they worked so well. Opposites attract, and all that. Razz needed to feel like he was needed because he had grown up being needed his entire life, and to not be was odd to him. And Emilia needed someone to keep her grounded. "I couldn't live without you, you know that, right?" he asked, kissing her again. "Not that I'd want to anyways."

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Sometimes she wondered why they both tried so hard to make the love they had last. Why even after the drama, the drugs, the baby, her parents, they still held each other so tightly. Emilia couldn't tell someone why she fought so hard to stay with him, she loved him and that was the simple and honest answer. Raziel saved her, whether he knew it or not. He was her reason to change for the better, and Emilia still remembered when they started dating. She wanted to be someone he could be proud to be with, and she put herself through hell and back to do so. Razz was her husband, the one man she loved more than life itself. Emilia kept her arms wrapped around Razz's neck as he picked her up off the ground slightly, his muscular arms holding her as close to him as possible. She could feel the heat from his body as he held her tightly, her body greeting his with a tingling sensation. The bed was soft as she lied next to Razz, and she could feel her body aching from the stress. Emilia had been considerably weaker since the baby, and her body was fighting hard to recover completely. Emilia wanted to forget about the baby, and move on. They could try again. They were going to keep trying until they had a child. She avoided the baby's room and wouldn't go near it, the door remained closed at all times. After the baby died, Emilia use to sit in that room alone for hours, but she realized nothing she could do would bring him back. She had to focus on what was happening right now: Razz.

Emilia smiled as Razz kissed her, promising he was going to try. She gazed at him lovingly, staring into his blue eyes. Emilia had been teased before about how she stared at him, how when their eyes locked everyone else vanished from the room. She loved him, that was it. " I couldn't live without you either," Emilia muttered softly as she kissed him, cuddling close to him as he wrapped his arms around her. Burying her face in his chest, Emilia could feel her body finally relaxing, her eyes fluttering closed as she comfortably wrapped her arms around him. She could feel Razz's breath on the top of her head as he held her close, and Emilia could feel herself dozing off. They were going to last. She just knew it.

The room was warm as Emilia woke up, the curtains blocking out the bright vibrancy of the sunlight. Letting out a soft groan, Emilia's eyes adjusted to finally being awake as she sat up. Waking up alone wasn't her favorite thing to do in the morning, but she felt immediately relieved as Razz walked into the room in his boxers. Emilia use to be terrified of waking up alone, but she was getting better at not freaking out. Her heart was still pounding lightly in her chest. The scent of body wash and shampoo filled the air. Emilia yawned, brushing her fingers through her hair as a horrible attempt to make her hair a little less messy. Some days, Emilia would wake up first, sometimes Razz would. " God morgon, kärlek" She said sweetly as Razz leaned over to kiss her, not realizing she wasn't speaking english. One of Emilia's bad habits was not being able to differentiate the languages in her head, so she tended to accidentally speak Swedish to Razz in the morning a lot (not that he minded). Pulling Razz onto the bed as she kissed him, Emilia gently pushed him down so that he was lying down as she lied on top of him as lightly as she could.

" I don't want to leave bed," Emilia muttered, kissing him a little more passionately, her hands softly trailing down his chest and stomach. She could feel the subtle goosebumps on his skin as her fingers grazed down to his boxers before trailing back up. " Är det okej med dig?" She whispered in his ear, kissing his neck before sitting up. Emilia was a tease, horribly so. She knew that he loved it when she spoke in her naive tongue, and she didn't do it too often, mainly just to get him all bothered. Emilia laughed as Razz pulled her onto the bed, switching what position they were in completely. She never smiled much before Razz, but he made her laugh and smile like nobody else did. That's what made him special. That power he had over her. Pulling him close, Emilia kissed him with as much passion as she could muster, her hands wrapping around his torso as she kissed him. " I love you," Emilia said, breathlessly as he broke the kiss for a brief moment, her eyes fixed on him. Emilia couldn't be luckier. Sometimes she wondered how live would be without him, but she could only describe it as one way: empty.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz woke up to the chirping of birds outside the window of his and Emilia's bedroom, and her cuddled closely to him, sleeping peacefully. Yesterday sure was... eventful, but not in the best of ways. He was just glad that he and Emilia made up by the end of it. He wouldn't have been able to sleep through the night without her. Razz nuzzled her affectionately before letting go of her so she rested on her back as he headed to the shower. He needed a bath. They were his ultimate de-stress-er. Well, maybe not the ultimate, but the feeling of hot water and soap washing all his worries away was just as equally welcome. Baths were just nice in general. They made it feel as if he was washing away any past problems and dilemmas, and starting new. Quite literally a fresh, clean start. It was probably just a thing of his own. He often doubted that people thought so deeply on the topics of bathing and showering. Unless they were therapists, who were in therapy with therapists who were also in therapy. Or just a little bit crazy. He shook his head as he rinsed out his hair at these thoughts. He needed to stop thinking so deeply about the most random everyday things. They were going to get him committed to an asylum one of these days.

He stepped out of the bathroom in just his boxers, his towel being left on the rack after he towel dried his hair. He was glad to see Emilia awake already. "Good morning," he replied after he kissed her. She was still so gorgeous in his eyes, even though she had just woken up. The slight bed head, the tired expression, the use of her native language rather than English. Razz had never been so glad to have memorized at least the most basic, everyday phrases of every language they taught in his classes, otherwise he wouldn't be able to understand half of what Emilia was every saying. Not that he ever really understood half, he just had rather good guesses. He never minded, though. He preferred hearing her speak in her native tongue, the English language was an ugly one that no one should have ever been forced to speak or learn. Not to mention that more than half of it didn't even follow the rules that the founders of the language had set down. Razz needed to work on focusing his thoughts in the morning. They tended to just go all over the place.

"You never want to leave bed," he said, amused with his wife. He flipped them so that he was on top for one of those rare moments where she didn't mind not laying down on top of him. He loved her kisses. They were sweet and warm, filled with love and passion. This was something he knew that he could never have with anyone but her. She was his world; his everything. What they had, he was sure would last no matter whatever tried to make things harder for them. He kissed back with equal verve, one hand around her waist as the other went to her hair and tangled there. "I love you too, so much," he told her, kissing her softly. He kissed her forehead. "How gorgeous you are physically." He kissed her nose. "And internally." Then kissed her cheek. "That big, beautiful heart." Her other cheek. "And the way you can't differentiate between English and Swedish in the morning." He kissed her on the lips. "Everything and anything about you. I love it all," he said while staring deep into her eyes. He kissed her again, passionately. He Eskimo-kissed her. "And I agree. I don't feel like leaving bed just yet," he added with a smile.

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia looked up at Razz as she lied down, her smile ear to ear. Maybe it was true that she never wanted to leave bed, but this bed was special and Emilia loved having it in the house. When they were moving in together, her mother wanted to buy them a new mattress, but Emilia insisted on keeping the one Razz had in his apartment when they moved. They debated about it for a while, but she was extremely stubborn. This was the mattress they had their first time on, and that made it special to Emilia. She was his first. And though Emilia sometimes wished he could have been her first, she was glad she was the experienced one. She still remembered how nervous he was, and how much she talked him through it all, guiding him to do what felt good. Emilia wasn't lying when she said she was a good teacher. Either way, this bed was a special place. It was where Razz and her could be alone and relax after a crazy day or watch movies. This was their place. Where they could talk for hours about nothing or do things that didn't require talking at all. Emilia watched Razz as she lied down, her body greeting Razz's with a tingling sensation as he held her close. His fingers in her hair felt nice, and Emilia let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes briefly. Even the littlest contact made Emilia feel complete. Even when they were just holding hands and walking somewhere, she didn't feel right unless he was with her. Everyone in the neighborhood knew them as Emmi and Razz, they were never apart.

Emilia giggled as Razz kissed her as he listed reasons why he loved her, her eyes locking with his before kissing him. " That's good, because I love everything of you too," Emilia said, kissing his lips softly," like how I get butterflies when you look at me or when you kiss me," She said, kissing his neck softly," and how sweet and thoughtful you always are," She kissed his jawline," And how sexy you look... with or without clothes." She added, looking up at his reaction; Emilia grinned," -and how I can still make you blush like this." She said with a giggle as she pulled him into a kiss. Razz's lips were soft against hers, a familiar taste that had become almost an addiction to her. She remembered when he would blush so easily. Emilia loved how shy and bashful he was about everything, even though his new found confidence when it came to her was extremely sexy. She remembered when he use to try so hard to hold back, and now they didn't have to. Emilia felt a large amount of pride in how much he had blossomed. He wasn't as meek as he use to be, he was himself around her completely.

" I would be so lost without you," Emilia added softly, kissing him longingly, her arms wrapping around his neck as she pulled him close. Looking up at him with a loving smile, Emilia couldn't help but stare into his eyes. His gorgeous eyes. Emilia always thought he was handsome though, even the days he wore sweats and his hair was a mess. Raziel was her handsome, wonderful husband. And Emilia knew it was true. She would be lost without him. Something in her clicked with him when they met, and since then everything was history. " Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me and I completely panicked and said that it was sweet? I'm glad we didn't rush that, because now I can say I love you a million times to make up for it," Emilia muttered, running her fingers through his dark hair as she kissed him. She remembered how much she panicked when she accidentally said that. But she wasn't ready to admit she loved him yet, and she couldn't have been more relieved when he didn't freak out about it. In fact, he took it much better than any other man she had been with.

Still, now she could make up for it by telling him that she loved him, and that she always will.