Welcome

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia was uncomfortable. Actually, uncomfortable was an extreme understatement; She could feel eyes watching her as she sat at the bar, sipping on a cocktail as she waited for Razz. This was a nightclub that she went to (past tense), one which she stopped going to as soon as she started dating Raziel. Usually, she would avoid these kind of places like the plague, but Emilia trusted her self control. Razz and her were trying to have a baby, and she wasn't going to ruin her relationship with her husband for something as stupid as drugs. Emilia loved Razz more than the entire world, she could turn her back on it easily if she knew that Razz would be there waiting for her. Alcohol was fine because it wasn't something she was addicted to, and she rarely drank. Usually after a long day or when she was extremely stressed. She wasn't stressed though, just tired. Emilia had spent the day redecorating the house to what she felt was more summer-like. Finding the pieces and putting it all together was a lot of work, and she wanted to surprise him with the nice, new living room. So why was she at a club? This was the closest place to Razz's work, where she was to wait because his shift was ending soon, and Emilia wanted to walk around in the city with him. Sometimes, she just needed to get out and walk around, but Razz didn't feel safe letting her walk the city at night by herself. It wasn't safe, and he didn't feel comfortable letting her which didn't particularly bother her. Emilia liked his company when walking about, though she felt bad because he was getting off work.

Razz was usually tired after his shift, and Emilia told him they could just go home and relax together but he insisted. She knew how big it was for him to be okay with her being in a bar, which was connected to a nightclub. He was trusting that the old her was long gone, and the old Emilia was. She died the day they married, when she decided that she was going to be a good wife to him. So here she was, sitting on a stool at the bar, sipping on a lightly alcoholic (mostly fruity) cocktail, listening to the music pound behind her. Emilia was zoning out, and was lost in thought though. She was thinking about her baby a little, but mostly she was thinking about Razz. How lucky she was to have a man like him. A gentlemen, a wonderful man who loved her no matter what. " Hey, you look familiar, can I buy you a drink?" A man snapped her out of her spacey gaze, as Emilia turned to face him. Didn't look familiar. Maybe Emilia knew him from something of the past, but she currently couldn't think of the name. Nor did she want it. " No thank you, I'm waiting for someone," Emilia said politely, turning away a little. " You don't recognize me? It's me, Marcus, use to party together, play around a little," the man said, making a small hand gesture. Emilia shook her head. " Emilia, right?" Her eyes widened a little, and she turned to face him cautiously. " Yes," She said, watching the man suspiciously. The man grinned, and pulled her into a kiss, which she violently protested, pushing him away.

" I'm waiting for my husband," Emilia said firmly, wiping her mouth in disgust before sipping her drink, trying to rid herself from the taste of stale liquor. She didn't like kissing anyone but Razz anymore, anything else just seemed wrong. " Ah, come on, Emilia, for old times sake, he doesn't have to know," the man insisted, his hands grabbing her sides as he pulled her into a kiss again. Emilia grimaced, attempting to shove him away," I said no!" she squealed, trying to push him away," let me go!" Emilia felt the man yanked away from her, and she stared wide eyed when she saw Razz was the one who did it. Getting up from the chair, Emilia pulled down her skirt from riding up before Razz grabbed her arm, pulling her outside. " Razz, thank god you came," Emilia said, hugging him tightly, her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled him close. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she didn't realize how scared she was of what happened. Emilia knew she couldn't push the man away, she knew that she wasn't strong enough to fight back completely. She was afraid of what could have happened if Razz didn't come in. Once again, the past Emilia had gotten her in trouble. She could feel her breath shaking slightly as she hugged Razz as tightly as she could. He was warm and smelt slightly sweaty from work, but Emilia took comfort in it. Razz was someone that no matter what happened, if she was with him she felt safe. He made her feel safe. Because Emilia always had a skill for getting in trouble, and Razz always knew how to get her out of it.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz could feel his muscles aching. He didn't have to work, he knew that. Razz being Razz, though, he liked feeling useful. He didn't particularly like leaving Emilia alone while he was at work, but he wasn't the type to just sit around the house all day and do nothing. Razz may have married into blue blood, but he was still so very blue collared. He was born into the working class, raised in the working class, and was quite frankly much more relaxed in the working class. Not to say that he thought the royals were lazy -- no, he had had many conversations with Emilia's father and Tristan on several occasions about the burden's that came being responsible for an entire country -- but he did have a very long, diplomatic argument with Emilia's father about their finances. Erik insisted on paying for all of their current and future expenses, down to whenever they ate out or did any recreational activities. Razz, being the bull headed person he was, didn't want him to pay for absolutely everything because he had already done so much for them by allowing Razz to Marry Emilia, paying for their wedding, reception, honeymoon expenses, and buying them a house. Razz's parents even insisted that they help to pay for some of the wedding expenses, but their offer was respectfully turned away. Razz told them to just invest whatever money they had saved up for his wedding into the twins' college accounts. Razz and Erik eventually came to the agreement that Erik could pay for the absolute essentials -- water, garbage, electricity, power, and gas -- if he wanted to, but anything else was left to Razz -- cable, shopping expenses, etc. The only exception to this would be when Razz and Emilia started having children, in which the grandparents were allowed to buy whatever they wanted, as long as it fit into the nursery. Hence why Razz was still at his serving job.

He checked his watch, seeing that his shift was only a few minutes from being over. Him and Emilia made plans to meet at one of the clubs near his work. Razz figured that they had been through so much together, and they had both proven themselves to each other time and time again that it was finally safe to go out at night again. Or at least go to over populated areas where the chances of anything dangerous potentially happening were rather low. And she wanted to walk around the town. Some people would call Razz overly doting on Emilia, but he couldn't help himself. He liked making her happy, seeing her smile. It made him happy to know that she was. So when his watch beeped, signalling the end of his shift, he politely transferred his tables to one of the guys and clocked out. "Say hi to Emilia for me," his boss said cheerfully with a smile. He smiled and waved back, assuring that he would. Razz would've brought a jacket, but the weather was warm even at night and he figured that he didn't need to wear a jacket because of the amount of layers his uniform already provided. He hummed a cheery tune as he walked towards the club. Razz knew where all the clubs were at, but had never really gone into any of them. The whole loud music, bright lights, and drunk idiots everywhere scene wasn't really his thing. How he ended up with a best friend that actually had a high reputation in it and a wife that used to be a part of it, he'll never know. Razz never really complained about it, though. There was nothing about any of the people he cared about that he would change. He was rather shocked, though, when the bouncer congratulated him and let him in. He didn't think that many of the club scene people would've seen the wedding, especially not big, burly bouncers that were surprisingly nice despite their terrifying size.

Razz could feel nothing, but anger when the first thing he saw when he walked in was his wife practically being molested at the bar by some random person. He pushed his way through the throng of people, yanking the man off of her, before grabbing her and pulling her outside with him. Now Razz remembered why he never went with Tristan after the one time he had been talked into going. The morals of everyone in there were so loose that it was disgusting. Even if he had been in there for only a few minutes at most, Razz could feel the perspiration on his forehead and skin from being inside. Even the warm summer night air was considerably cooler compared to the stuffy, body-packed bar. He held Emilia close as she threw her arms around him. One would really think that by now Razz and Emmi would've proven that nothing could tear them apart to the universe. One would be wrong, though, because trouble seemed to follow them, more like follow Emilia around like a magnet. He could feel her shaking and he didn't want to think about what would've happened if he hadn't come in time. The thought terrified him at what could've happened. "Hey, I'm here now. Nothing bad is gonna happen," he said, kissing the top of her head. He rocked them gently side to side, refusing to loosen his hold on her. After a few moments, he pulled away, lifting her chin up to kiss her softly. He closed his eyes and nuzzled her affectionately, giving her Eskimo kissed with a smile. "How about we go for that walk now? I don't think the bouncers want to see us being all grossly cute and affectionate right outside of the club," he said with a small laugh.

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

The air was warm, but still cooler than inside the bar and Emilia was surprised she didn't notice how horribly stuffy the room previously was. Maybe she was a little too use to it, which was troubling, but the air was significantly more pleasant now that Razz was here with her. His arms wrapped around her made her feel safe, and she wasn't thinking about the man in the bar anymore. She was thinking about her husband, who was holding her so very tightly in his strong arms. Razz's smell was so familiar but something she loved, the touch of his skin something she had felt a billion times but made her tingle. Nothing bad was going to happen, she was safe. Her heart tried to calm itself in vain, and her chest ached a little. She could still feel it pounding in her ear as she held onto her husband tightly. Emilia was glad she didn't go to nightclubs anymore, she hated the type of men who lurked around. At one point of time, she was fine with hooking up with guys like that, but a lot had changed. Emilia was married to a wonderful man who loved her. She didn't have to look for affection in cheap hotel room beds, she had someone who loved her no matter what and they had a house of their own. That was enough for her. Emilia didn't need to be the center of attention anymore because she was the center of Razz's. Emilia looked up at Razz when he lifted her chin, her large eyes closing gently as he kissed her. Her lips pressed against his, time seemed to stall as they kissed. When Razz broke the kiss and mentioned the bouncers, Emilia blushed when she forgot that there was two men standing outside the nightclub, watching them.

Emilia smiled, giving Razz a small nod before pulling him into a kiss again, her hands gently running through his hair before she broke the kiss, giving him a small kiss on the nose before holding his hand. Her fingers naturally intertwined with his, and she felt happier just holding his hand. Looking over at the bouncer's Emilia gave them a cheeky smile, waving," Good night, you guys," She said happily as the waved back at her. " Have a wonder night, you two, be safe," One of the bouncers called to her as they walked away from the pounding music, commenting to the other bouncer about how they were a cute couple. Little things like that made her happy because no matter how many bad guys there were, there were always nice ones as well. Emilia heard her name called out and groaned. This guy was not giving up. " Hey! No hard feelings, right?" He said as he was catching up to them," Come on, Emmi-" The man said, grabbing her arm. Letting go of Razz's hand, Emilia turned around and punched the man square in the face, causing him to fall backwards. " Only Razz can call me that," She snapped," Stay away from me." Standing tall, Emilia walked away from the man as he groveled on the floor and could hear the two bouncers laughing about how a small, little thing like her floored a grown man. Emilia could feel a painful stab in her wrist though, and she probably punched him wrong. She wasn't exactly trained to hurt people, Emilia was quite the pacifist.

It wasn't until after they got a good distance away from them, Emilia held onto her wrist, wincing," I think I hurt myself when I punched him," She finally admitted, trying not to giggle as Razz began to laugh. She loved Razz's laugh, she loved how it sounded, how he would throw his head back when he was laughing hard (like now). It was horribly contagious, and Emilia couldn't keep herself from laughing as well. " That was a little much, wasn't it?" Emilia asked, leaning on Razz slightly as he wrapped his arm around her as they started walking. She liked walking home every once in a while, and the club they were at was only a couple blocks from their house. Holding onto her wrist, she applied pressure as they walked. Razz told her about his day at work, and Emilia announced that she redecorated the house to fit the summer and bought fans for the house as well. During the summer, Glassview got pretty warm and she was preparing for the heat. Once they got to the house, Emilia sat on the bed as Razz got something to wrap around her wrist. She had to admit, the rush of punching someone was intense and left her with excess adrenaline, but Emilia had never been a very violent person and didn't intend on making this a habit. She watched Razz as he wrapped her wrist sitting next to her; he had such gorgeous facial features, Emilia always noticed when he was thinking or focusing how handsome her husband really was. Emilia smiled as he looked up at her finally, telling her he was done. He always took care of her, she felt a little guilty. Wrapping her arms around him gently, Emilia kissed him affectionately, nuzzling him softly," Thank you, babe," Emilia said, holding him close," That is the last time I punch someone." That was not particular the best experience, though a funny one at that.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

He waved bye to the bouncers, wondering how too such nice guys ended up working at a place filled with people like that. He had to admit, though. He was most definitely amused by how Emilia knocked a full grown man to the ground like that. He didn't even think he had it in her to punch someone, period. He had never seen Emilia actually physically fight someone before, and he kind of doubted that she ever had in the past. Razz was the type that was more likely to get into fights, and he had in the past -- wrestling with his cousins and friends, helping Tristan out when he got drunk and started a fight where no one would back down, and fighting with Tristan a couple times when the boy was much too drunk and stubborn to go home. Razz had been in his fair share of scrapes, and received his fair share of bruises from them. Never in a million years, though, did he ever imagine Emilia flooring someone with one punch. He couldn't have imagined it being particularly pleasant for her though. And her announcing it proved him right. It didn't stop him from laughing. It was one of those laughs where he just couldn't help but to throw his head back and laugh as if there wasn't a care in the world. "I'm sorry, babe," he said, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her on the top of her head. He was desperately trying to hold back the rest of his laughter. His wonderful and beautiful wife, Emmi. he didn't think his life would be as amazing as it was without her by his side. She was the love of his life, the only woman he would ever love like this. It sometimes made him laugh when he thought about how they ended up together. The two of them came from such very different worlds. She was born and raised and still is a royal. She pretty much had the world offered to her at birth. Razz was born a commoner, and raised to know that he was probably going to work for everything his entire life. Not that he particularly minded, he was content with his life. Not to mention that she pretty much belonged to the party crowd, while Razz was a full time student with a part time job and no time to party. There was something that happened the night they met that was nothing short of magical for them to be married now.

He smiled as he hugged her when he finished wrapping her wrist bindings. "Anytime, Emmi," he said, kissing her cheek. It was a bit funny in its own way. At any point before him and Emilia met, if anyone had asked Razz where he saw himself being at this point now, he probably would've said in his apartment, writing a new song for his music class or studying for his other classes, or playing video games with Tristan, or watching old superhero movies and eating ice cream with Kendall. He never even thought of saying married to the most wonderful woman on the planet, trying for a baby, and wrapping her hurt wrist after she floored a full grown man -- a surprising thing for someone of her small stature. Razz loved it. He didn't think being married would feel this wonderful, or having a wife would be this life fulfilling. He was never so grateful for anything in his life than to have Emilia. She just completed him and made everything in his universe perfect. He could never imagine being without her, and quite frankly, he didn't want to. Nothing before her ever really mattered either. It was just school, work, school work, sleep, repeat. Day after day. Visiting his family on the weekends. Walking around the park at night. The same old mundane routine. Emilia brought excitement into his life. She made him feel so alive, something he had started forgetting was like when they met.

"I'll teach you how to properly punch one of these days," he told her with a laugh. "For future reference's sake." He kissed her softly before pulling away to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth, stripping off his uniform along the way. It was something he usually did, and then just picked it up off the floor in the morning when he had the time to worry about it. Razz splashed some water onto his face, just to remove some of the sweat off of it. Razz had a bit of a love hate relationship with sweat. On one hand, it made him feel like he had accomplished something. On the other hand, it left him feeling sticky, something he hated. He patted his face dry, heading back into the bedroom and finding Emilia already waiting for him under the sheets. He climbed in with a smile, gathering her up in his arms and cuddling her like a teddy bear. His mind was still thinking about how she was able to knock a guy of that size to the ground. He wasn't that large, but compared to her a lot of people were relatively large. He nuzzled her, kissing her on the mouth. "You should know that I am still internally laughing over the fact that you knocked a man about twice your size down with a single punch, Honey," he told her, looking down at her with pride.

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

With a heavy heart, Emilia let out a soft sigh as she watched her husband walk away to the restroom. She wanted him to stay with her, his arms wrapped around her, his soft lips kissing hers. She was a romantic at heart, and would prefer spend the rest of their day kissing, cuddling, and talking about his day at work. Still, Razz had his daily routine which was fine, but sometimes she wanted something new. She wanted him to pull her into his arms and kiss her, laying her down on the bed as he slowly crawls on top of her, his muscular arms holding him up as he looks down with her with nothing short of want. But here she was, sitting on the bed alone waiting for him to return. Raziel was a man of habit married to a woman who's only consistent habits were bad ones. She was never good at consistency; Emilia was an adventurous, excitable, and impulsive young girl, who's love for adventure could only be matched by her love for her husband. Still, she couldn't change the fact that Razz was a stable, consistant person. In fact, that was one of the reasons that she fell in love with with him. She never had to wonder whether Razz would be coming over to see her or have the heart wrenching feeling of a promised phone call never received. Through everything they had ever been through, Razz's consistent nature was one of the things that kept her alive when she was shaking so violently, she could have sworn her body would break from it. And Emilia loved him so much not just for everything he did, but for everything he was. Razz was the best man she had ever met, and she was proud to be married to him.

Finally getting up from the bed, Emilia stretched as she went to the other restroom. While she brushed her teeth, Emilia stared at herself in the mirror briefly, before spitting out the toothpaste and washing it down the sink. She was considerably healthier than she use to be, and she was more curvy than she use to be. Emilia was so dangerously thin, her body probably resembled that of a little girls, but now? She looked like a woman, and she loved her body because Razz did as well. Once back in the bed room, Emilia pulled off her shorts and took off her bra, throwing it into the hamper and sitting on the bed. Razz always took longer than her, probably because he had a lot more clothing on because of his uniform. Emilia wasn't complaining though, she absolutely loved how he looked in his uniform. Razz was the kind of man who attracted plenty of attention from women, whether he realized it or not. His smile was always vibrant and welcoming, his blue eyes gorgeous and light. Razz wasn't one to brag, but he was very muscular, between working out and having a job that required physical work. Of course, Emilia couldn't talk considering how jealous he would get when men noticed her. They were an attractive couple, she would say. Crawling into bed, she closed her eyes for a moment, letting out a another soft sigh. Emilia should keep this all to herself, why cause problems when everything is going so well? She was probably overreacting anyways, this didn't have to be an issue. She opened her eyes slightly when she heard the bathroom door open, smiling a little when Razz came out in his boxers and crawled into bed with her. She let out a small laugh at his comment," Well I'm a lot stronger than I look," Emilia said boastfully, but jokingly as she looked up, giving him a kiss.

Emilia knew exactly what was going to happen next: Razz would give her another kiss, then with a yawn say goodnight. After, he would turn off the light and go to sleep for the night. Like clockwork, he did exactly that. Giving her one last kiss, he let out a small yawn and told her good night, but unlike other nights, the light didn't go off.

" Wait," Emilia blurted out, sitting up and grabbing his arm he did to reach for the light. She could see how confused he was, and Emilia let out another sigh. " Razz, is this just how we are going to be every day? Just our nightly routine and then off to bed? It's just-" She was going to hate herself for speaking up," You never do anything spontaneous with me and usually I don't mind, but we keep getting into this mindless routine and it's driving me insane. Even sex is something we practically schedule and I know it's because we have to monitor my cycle because of wanting a baby, but it's so- Depressing. I can't keep doing this my entire life, I can't have everything planned and on scheduled. It's just not me, Razz," She explained the best she could. She was kicking herself internally for speaking up when she told herself not to. Once again, Emilia told herself she was going to do one thing, and on impulse did the exact opposite. She couldn't have said nothing, it was just getting too depressing. Emilia was a passionate person, and when they had to do everything on certain time constraints, it was horrible for her. The doctors wanted her to monitor when she was ovulating, and Emilia completely understood why it was necessary to do so, but it was making something she found fun a chore. Even though she tried really hard to get into it for Razz's sake, she found herself faking it a little which was something she use to never have to do, especially with Razz. It was something that frightened her, she didn't want it to be fake, she wanted the emotions to be real. Letting out another heavy hearted sigh, Emilia let go of his arm, standing up from the bed and rubbing her eyes slightly. " You know what? Forget I said anything, don't worry about it," she muttered, walking towards the door of the bedroom.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz couldn't help but to look at Emilia confused. Had he really always been that predictable and not spontaneous? He supposed he never really thought about it before. Excitement and adventure were never things that had ever really existed in his life growing up. Sure, there was plenty of good times and fun, but there was nothing that ever really popped up at the spur of the moment that he had to react to, nor had he ever been one to do something unplanned. He was so used to everything being routine and having its own little time-slot. First this, then that, followed by these series of events that will all happen in this order. Order. That was what his life typically tended to revolve around. He didn't particularly mind. Razz had never been one for surprises. His family's fault, one could say. Parties and get-together's were planned weeks if not months in advance. All family vacations were planned at least three months in advance. Even the plan for when the twins were born went off without a hitch; the extremely careful planning for that was credited to having a doctor for a father. He had never really done anything or been a part of anything that wasn't meticulously planned in advance. Until he met Emilia that is. He didn't expect to be married this young and trying for a baby, but they were. He didn't expect to fall for someone who was the total opposite of what everyone thought he would go for, but he did. In his life where everything was as predictable as the tides, she was the whirlwind no one planned for. Had that really changed that drastically too, though? Had his need for structure and order really made her that depressed?

Based on how she was talking, it seemed, yes. This had become one of those defining moments that very clearly showed where they differed in who they were as people. Razz was so used to having everything happen like clock work. Emilia just wasn't like that. They were quite possibly one of the extreme cases of opposites attract. Not that he really minded. He loved Emilia more than anything, and couldn't imagine a life without her, not that he would want to anyways. As far on opposite ends of the poles as they were, they were just meant to be together. They were there for each other no matter what. She got him actually talking about his problems and what not when he refused to, and he brought stability into her hectic life. They just worked. But now it seemed like he over-stabilized things, something that he didn't ever expect to happen. And it made her unhappy. Which simply made Razz upset with himself. He was supposed to make her life happier, not sad. What kind of a husband was he if he wasn't able to consistently bring a smile to her face? He supposed he could always play off that his father had taught him to be as expected as the rising and setting as the sun, but even he knew that it wasn't completely true. Even his father had sometimes out of nowhere come home with a bouquet of flowers for his mother; whatever was in season because she liked to bring the nature that was outdoors indoors. No, this was something that was a bit instilled by himself.While his upbringing did play a part, he had done this mostly by himself.

Without a word, he reached out and grabbed Emilia's hand as she began to walk away. He refused to just let things stay like this. He was going to do what he had to in order to make her happy, even if that meant trying his damn hardest to break his typical routine. Anything for Emmi, he reminded himself. Because she's worth it. Which she really was. Razz would go to the ends of the earth for her. He would also have to learn to be a lot more observant, considering that he didn't exactly tend to notice things right away until they hit him like a ton of bricks.

Razz pulled Emmi back into the bed with him so that she was seated across his lap as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He parted his lips, feeling her do the same and letting his tongue enter her mouth. They twined and danced and he only pulled away when he was sure that he was going to pass out from forgetting to remember to breathe. He looked into her greenish-blue eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry," he said earnestly before his lips went to her neck, sucking and biting the skin there. He was never really one for leaving hickeys, but supposed that as long as he was trying the whole spontaneous thing out, might as well. He felt her hands go to his hair. One hand reached up into her shirt, pulling it off as the other one just rubbed up and down her leg. Razz had the terrible sinking feeling that this was going to be as awkward as their first time together. Sure, Razz and Emilia had sex plenty of times, and he knew what she liked, but he wasn't exactly used to being the one leading or anything. It was usually Emmi who initiated it, and Razz would just go along with it. He wasn't exactly an alpha male or a leader, and he didn't exactly believe in being rough with anyone unless it was necessary, like in a fight. Razz didn't exactly live up to the legacy his grand father created, and his father followed, and he accepted that now, but while he did pick up on a lot of the traits they both had, he never really picked up on the whole alpha trait. He was just kind of there. He pulled away, one hand going to her the side of her face and her thumb rubbing her cheek. Razz gave her an uncomfortable smile, clearly showing exactly what he was about to say next, "I apologize in advance if this is horribly awkward, Emmi."

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia felt a pang of guilt once she starting leaving the room, this wasn't his fault. She was the one who was having trouble adjusting to her new life as a married woman, and she shouldn't have snapped at Raziel because of it. Once again, she was beating herself up internally for speaking when she specifically told herself she wasn't going- Emilia's eyes widened as he grabbed her hand. Razz's grip was firm but gentle, and she couldn't get herself to speak as he pulled her towards the bed. Emilia didn't struggle or fight as he pulled her onto his lap, her thighs hugging his sides as he held her closely. His lips pressed against hers, Emilia let her lips part as Razz's tongue slid into her mouth. His taste was warm and sweet, filling her mouth as he kissed her. Without even thinking about it, Emilia's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. It amazed her sometimes how natural it felt to kiss Razz, and how addictive the feeling of his lips were. When he broke the kiss, Emilia's gaze were gentle and sad as she stared into his gorgeous, blue eyes. She hated that Razz felt that he needed to apologize when it wasn't his mistake but hers. Before Emilia could say that he shouldn't apologize, Razz's lips met her neck, sucking and biting the skin gently, catching her completely off guard. Her hands trailed up from his neck, her fingers tangled in his untidy locks. Letting Razz pull off her shirt, she watched him pull away slightly, his thumb gently caressing her cheek. Emilia could tell he was uncomfortable just by how he smiled at her, and she knew what he was going to say next.

“ No... it's not your fault, I'm sorry I snapped at you, it wasn't fair,” Emilia protested, kissing Razz as sweetly as she could. She knew how hard he was trying to be more spontaneous for her, even though he was still uncomfortable with leading. Emilia was the first, and only, woman Razz had ever had sex with, and she knew that he wasn't quite comfortable with being the one on top. Emilia was the one who initiated, and Razz, who was far more laid back than she was, would follow. He was uncomfortable with leading simply because he didn't know how to yet, and he was always nervous to top, in fear of hurting her, which sometimes made Emilia feel like she was her old self. The frail bodied, thin framed girl who was so underweight that models would be envious of her figure. But she wasn't that girl anymore, and sometimes she wanted Razz to recognize that when they slept together. He was always so afraid of hurting her, Emilia wanted to show him that she could handle anything he did. She wasn't quite good at that, the pain in her wrist reminding her that she wasn't as strong as she would like to be. Emilia was probably going to not be able to use her wrist for a good amount of time, and it was warm and a little swollen. Emilia let him pick her up, her legs wrapping around him as he did so. Her eyes were locked with his, and all thoughts that were clouding her mind seemed to disappear, leaving her conscience a clear, starry sky. Her head met the pillow as he laid her down on the bed, and she watched him as he crawled on top of her, propping himself up with his elbows.

Carefully, Emilia reached up and put her hands on the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. She felt a twinge of pain in her wrist, but ignored it as she bit his lower lip gently. Her legs intertwined with his as he lowered down more, his body gently pressed up against her. Emilia felt him nervously pull away, sitting up in between her thighs, looking down at her with an anxious expression as he licked his lips. She knew he was afraid he was going to hurt her, and usually Emilia would be fine being on top, but she couldn't today. Her wrist was still hurt, and any pressure on it could make it worse, which is something they were both fully aware of. Razz was always afraid he was going to lose control with her, and she wanted him to know that he didn't have to worry about that. She wasn't the fragile, young girl he met that night under the stars, she was stronger than she ever had been and was able to take it. " Razz, trust me," Emilia said, her voice sweet and seductive as she pulled him into a kiss, her hands trailing down to his torso which she lowered down onto her body. His skin was warm against hers, and Emilia wrapped her legs around him as his hands tangled in her hair. Their kiss hasted as his body finally met hers, his weight pushing Emilia a little more into the bed as they kissed. Her legs pulling him as close as possible, Emilia let him break the kiss, his lips against her neck a little more roughly than before. Tilting her head back, Emilia panted softly as his hand held her thigh, her hands on his back as she held him close. Her lips once again pressed against his, and she could feel his self control finally slipping.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz couldn't help but be anxious as he looked down at Emilia, licking his dry lips. She was healthier. Yes. She was stronger. Yes. She could take him losing control on her. He wasn't so sure. Razz had gotten so used to exerting an extreme amount of control when it came to handling Emilia because he was so afraid of breaking her. He didn't want to accidentally push it so far that he hurt her. That would kill him. If this was something that she wanted, though, he couldn't deny her. He tended to not be capable of deny Emmi the things she wanted. It was as if he was still trying to prove his worth, if someone wanted to interpret it that way. What kind of a man was he if he couldn't keep his wife happy? He knew that he didn't particularly have to -- she had agreed to marry him and they were trying to have a baby -- but it was also a pride issue. As a Jefferson. As a male. As himself. And if she wanted him to be more in control when they had sex, then he had to let go of the fear of hurting her that he always carried. That would be an easier task to accomplish than the spontaneity, which would be a lot harder for the routine-set Raziel. Whatever made her happy, though. If she wanted it, he would go to the ends of the Earth for her, scale the highest mountain, dive the deepest ocean. Some would argue that she had him whipped. Not that it really mattered to him. If Emilia was happy, Razz was happy. If he was love-sick, then so be it.

He was letting his control slip as they progressed. One hand on her thigh as her legs were wrapped around him, his other in her hair, helping to support her head as she tilted it back so he could cover her neck in rough kisses and hickeys and bites. Still getting used to the sensation of not being completely in control of himself, he kept it somewhat light. Razz was still knew at this, and he wasn't going to push it. He sudden;y found himself glad for those conversations he had with Tristan about what girls typically liked when it came to sex. Something about foreplay and something about the neck being a "deliciously sensitive area to play with" stuck. He never really paid much attention to the rest, not thinking that any of it would've been of help at some point. Now, he was wishing he had paid more attention, they would've been helpful in guiding Razz to what he needed to know. He let his sucks and nibbles travel across her collarbone, taking in the sweet scent of her perfume along the way. He was somewhat reminded of the first time he had sex with Emilia. It felt awkward and he was just stumbling through, trying to not make a complete fool of himself. He was thinking too much and he knew it.

Razz decided then to just let go of his inhibitions truly, let his instincts dictate what he did. Both of his hands rubbed up and down her legs as his kisses, sucks, and bites became even rougher against her neck. He didn't let thoughts about what he may or may not have been doing wrong invade his mind, he just have into his senses. Her scent, her taste, all of it was intoxicating and he loved it. He went back to her lips, biting them gently before invading her mouth with his tongue, the taste of her saliva making him want -- need -- her more. His hands traveled up her thighs, palms burning from the contact of her skin, growling impatiently as they reached her panties, lowly cursing for the piece of fabric blocking the contact. They traveled over them instead, to her torso. His fingers counted the ribs of her rib cage that he could fell, and tangled into her hair. His lips found their way back to her neck again, leaving a dark hickey over her pulse as her hands gripped his hair. So this was what it was like to give in and lose control.

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia was always the irresponsible one with a horrible lack of control, but these were one of the moments that she was glad that she was. For the first time in a while she felt amazing, light as a cloud and sexier than a playboy centerfold. She couldn't remember the last time that a man touched her like this. Emilia loved Razz body and soul, but he was a gentle lover. The last time she had rough sex was a quick fling that didn't last long but was fun while it lasted. She didn't care about all that though, she loved Razz. Emilia knew how hard he was trying, and she loved him for it. Razz was always trying to make her happy, but by just being with her Razz made her happy everyday. She would be lying if she said she wasn't caught by surprise when he started actually letting loose. Emilia's neck felt warm and probably covered in hickeys, not that she minded. Razz's lips on her neck sent her overboard, her body was begging for him to take her. Her mind was blurry as he bit her lower lip gently, the taste of his tongue filling her mouth as they kissed. Emilia could feel her thighs hot as they kissed, her hands on his back gripping onto him tightly, her nails slightly digging into his skin. Panting, she let out a soft moan as his lips met her neck again, her hands trailing up from his back to his hair as she gripped his hair. Emilia could barely feel the pain in her wrist, she was so focused on Razz. The scent of his skin, the taste of his lips, the sweat on his body. Emilia could feel his body heat, hear his pants as he kissed her neck hastily. For once, they were focusing on each other, and this is what Emilia missed. Not worrying about having a child or scheduling, just love.

~ Fade to Black ~

Emilia's head rested on Razz's arm as they both lied on the bed, out of breathe. Her body was covered in sweat in the best way possible, her legs still shaking slightly as she tried to calm her heart down. " Wow." Emilia muttered softly to herself. She hadn't done anything like that in a while, and she missed the feel of it. To lose control, let her senses take control. That wasn't something that she got to do often, and she was enjoying every second of it. The rooms scent was so familiar but so different. Things weren't different, but they felt it. Like one of the many walls Razz had up to protect himself came crumbling down, and Emilia witnessed a side of him that he refused to show anyone else. Not Tristan or any of his past (apparently bitchy) girlfriends. Only her. Sitting up, Emilia leaned down, kissing Razz sweetly, her hand running through his untidy hair. Sometimes Emilia wondered how she got so lucky to find a man like Razz. She was the prettiest or the brightest woman, Razz could have married a scholar or a model with how he was. But he chose her, even through all the drug problems and the horrible self esteem. She remembered the first night they met, she thought he was trying to hit on her but he was really just trying to make conversation. How he put his jacket on her and she took it off. Hypothermia isn't the worst thing that could kill me. She remembered saying that. She was such a difficult, difficult girl, sometimes she wondered what would happened if he gave up on her? If he figured she wanted to be alone and left. It had to be fate.

Kissing Razz again, Emilia's thumb rubbed his cheek gently before kissing him once again. " I have to go check... doctor's orders," She said, getting up from the bed and pulling on her robe before going to the bathroom. It was a light pink and silky smooth, a birthday present from her father. Her father who was excited for them to have children. Pulling out the pregnancy test, Emilia let out a sigh. She didn't want to know. If it was negative, she didn't want to see it. Anxiously, Emilia twiddled with the test as she waited, two minutes and she would know. She tried to think about other things, but she couldn't. All she could think about was hoping and hoping that it would be a plus sign. She was anxious, but waited patiently, checking the clock. But after two minutes, she saw the little blue minus sign on the test. Her heart was pounding, she couldn't believe it. " Damn it!!" Emilia cursed, throwing the test into the sink angrily. Backing into the wall, Emilia slumped to the floor, her hands covering her face. She was so frustrated and upset, she could hardly keep herself from crying. When Razz rushed into the bathroom, Emilia shook her head. Looking up, she watched Razz reach in the sink and look at the pregnancy test before looking at her. The look on his face could kill. He looked so hurt, she couldn't bear seeing him like this. Emilia stood up, hugging Razz as tightly as she could, burying her face in his shoulder. It took all her strength to keep her from crying. She was sick of being devastated, hoping on the slim chance that they would be able to start a family together. " What if I'm not able to have a baby, what if it'll never happen?" Emilia asked, holding him tightly as she asked. She didn't want that to be true, but it was starting to feel that way.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

Razz panted, trying to catch his breath as him and Emilia laid down, relaxing. He had never been so tired afterwards before. So that was what it felt like to let conscious control slip from his fingers and just give completely into the senses that presented themselves at that moment. He was exhausted, that's all there was to say. Razz had never just let himself go like that. he was always so composed, so calm and collected. He never let anyone see him when he let all inhibitions go. Only Emilia. It may have taken him way too long to start doing so, but Razz was finally beginning to let his walls down for Emilia. He didn't want their passion and love to die because he couldn't let her in past the various walls and defenses he put up over the years. He wanted their to be one of those loves that lasted forever, that they could look back on and remember fondly, the good times easily outnumbering the bad. Emilia was his one true love, his soul mate, whatever people wanted to call it. he was going to do what he had to in order for her to be happy, and if letting her in made her happy, he was going to do it. He could still remember the first night they met. They were just two strangers wandering around the park in the middle of the night that had somehow started talking and playing a questions game. He had no idea that he would end up already falling for the girl by the time he walked her home. Razz didn't expect to be marrying the strange girl from the park who came from what may have been a completely different world than him. He didn't expect to be trying so hard for a child with her.

Razz returned her kisses before she left to go take a pregnancy test. It was no longer just Razz, Emilia wanted a child too. Ever since they lost their first child, ever since they had to sit by and watch Kendall as she had her child, they had been trying, every chance they got. Well, maybe not so literally ever chance, but still quite often. Razz had always known that he wanted to be a father. He wasn't one of those people who had everything for their baby planned out by the time they hit adulthood. No, it was just that whenever he imagined his future, he always saw a child or two along with a wife. He would be a liar if he said he didn't want the suburban dream life: a wife, children, a nice house, a dog or two. He had half of that, and was only missing the other. They were so busy worrying about having a child that they he hadn't had a chance to talk to her about getting a couple of dogs. Maybe a retriever and a spaniel. Or whatever other breeds that were up for adoption at the animal shelter. Razz didn't like the idea of getting a purebred -- it's not that they weren't nice, he just wanted to give some other animal who had lost a home a chance for a new one. His thoughts started delving deeper into this when he jumped and nearly fell out of bed hearing Emilia cuss. He quickly pulled on his robe, rushing into the bathroom to check on her.

He saw her in a heap on the floor, barely being able to hold back tears. That could only mean one thing, and the one thing it meant killed him. He had to check, though. He had to see it for himself. He picked the pregnancy test out of the sink and saw the little blue minus sign. Razz felt his heart break. What were they doing wrong? They were already going through such extreme lengths, what more did they have to go through before they could have a child? He stroked her hair as she buried her face in his shoulder, holding her close to him. He knew that it was harder on her than it was on him. He knew that she was kicking herself still over her past decisions, which were still haunting her in that they were making it hard for him and Emilia to have a baby. "Don't say that," he said, kissing her on the top of her head. "It'll happen. We just --" he took a deep breath and let out a sigh "-- we just need to be patient." Razz didn't want to think that it wasn't going to happen. He had never been one to simply give up and admit defeat. He tilted her head up so that she was looking at him, placing a soft kiss on her lips. His thumb brushed her cheek and he placed his forehead against hers. "We'll have our baby. We just have to trust that we will."

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia tried not to blame herself, but whenever the question of why they didn't have a child yet came up the answer seemed simple. It was her. They went to every doctor's appointment and each had fertility tests. When the results came in, it was clear that it was her. Razz's count could make them more prone to having a child, according to the doctor, except for the fact that Emilia's uterus lining doesn't wish to support a child. And there was nothing they could do. The medication proved ineffective, Emilia's body didn't seem to want to respond to it. They were starting to question whether it was the past drug use or whether she naturally was prone to this. Emilia would without doubt say that she was a slut, and through all that sleeping around she never once got a pregnancy scare. She never thought about it before, and the more she did, the more she was kicking herself for it. What she originally took as luck was now a curse. She could easily call this karma. Emilia took the easy way of life and made all the bad choices with little consequence, maybe it was all catching up with her. Maybe this was her punishment for all the wrong choices she had made. But why with Razz? Her sweet, amazing husband who wanted nothing more than to settle down and start a family. He didn't deserve any of this, and it was plain cruel. Razz had supported her through everything, gone to every single one of her appointments with her. They fought so hard for this, but it felt completely out of her reach. No matter how hard she tried, she was still getting nowhere. Emilia wanted to quit, but couldn't. Not when she wanted this so badly and fought so hard for it.

Emilia shut her eyes tightly, preventing any tears from coming out as she kept her face buried in Razz's shoulder. She could feel the pang of guilt that Razz was suffering from this all. He was the first to want a baby and convinced Emilia through everything that they were ready. When they could do nothing to save their son, he was hurt. Emilia thought about their child all the time and would sometimes have dreams about it. The one that hurt the most was when in her dreams, she was still bearing her child. Waking up to a flat stomach was something Emilia never thought would be absolutely heart breaking, but it was. Sometimes, Emilia would hug her stomach and remember the feeling of having her child still there painfully. She didn't mean to think about it, but she did. Emilia would have done anything to save her child, but there was nothing to do. It was too soon, and nothing could have saved him. Emilia would have suffered through the pain longer if she knew that somehow, they could have saved him. But they couldn't. He was gone, and she had to accept that. Patience could only do so much, and Emilia was losing hope. Every single time the results came out negative, the weight on her heart would grow. Emilia desperately wanted to believe that they could have a child, but the chances seemed so slim. Whether or not they planned or tried seemed to not matter anymore. Nothing made a difference, her body wasn't accepting a baby.

Looking up at Razz sadly, Emilia kissed him back before looking down slightly. She didn't want to make eye contact or she would surely cry. " This is all my fault, I'm sorry," Emilia muttered, a single tear trickling down her cheek. She knew that if Razz was with someone else, they would be able to have a child easy. The fact that she was the one holding them back from that hurt, and she couldn't bear looking at people with children because of it. Emilia wanted that so badly. For her and Razz to start a family together. But somehow that future seemed like it would never happen. Emilia grabbed Razz's hand gently, tugging him back into the bedroom where she pulled him onto the bed with her. Sitting up against her pillow, Emilia wrapped Razz's arm around her shoulder as she leaned on Razz. Her head rested on his chest as she held him close, her heart heavy. Her fingers intertwined with his, she bit her lip slightly to keep herself from crying. Taking a moment to compose herself, Emilia only spoke when she knew she could do it without crying. " What will we do if I'm never able to have a child, Razz? I want one so badly, but it just feels like it's never going to happen and-" Emilia paused, covering her face with her hands as she began to cry. " I miss my baby. I miss him so much," She cried, hugging Razz tightly, her face buried in his shoulder.

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

It seemed like nothing they were trying was helping, and Razz knew that it was killing Emilia more than it was him. They both had several examinations done to see if there was anything that would lower their chances of having children, and as far as the doctors could tell, Razz was in more than perfect shape for procreation. Emilia may have been much healthier now, but her body just seemed to not want to support a child. Nothing was working. Not the medications, nor how hard they tried. Razz was trying to remind not only Emilia but himself also that they were still young and that if at some point Emilia was able to be pregnant, then she could become pregnant again, but at the present moment, it was hard for him to be his usual optimistic self. He always pictured that by the time he had a house and was married, he'd at least be expecting a child already. Maybe it wasn't exactly how he had planned it out -- he still had college and such to get done with, and a real career in music to find -- but that should've been circumstantial. Unlike so many other guys his age, Razz was more than ready to start a family, be a father, have the whole domestic life; change diapers, feed baby food, teach his child how to say "Daddy". He wanted his parents to meet their grandchildren, and dote and fawn over them. It may have been a bit of a ridiculous wish, but there was really nothing more he wanted than that, other than to ensure Emilia's happiness. To think that they almost had that once, but it slipped right through their fingers was like being stabbed by a thousand knives to him.

He let Emilia lead him back to the bedroom. It wasn't her fault that they were having issues reproducing. It wasn't as if she wished that it would be this hard for them to have a child. Razz pulled Emilia a little more closely to him with the arm she wrapped around her shoulders. He leaned his head down, pressing his cheek against her hair. He honestly had no idea that it would be this hard. It seemed so unfair. There were so many people out there having children on accident that they didn't want, and the two people who actually wanted to have children were having problems producing even one. It made even looking at Kendall, one of his best friends, difficult and ironic. Kendall, who, though she loved her fiance, didn't even want their child, and constantly complained about it. And then there was Razz, who was not only married, but was trying tirelessly with his wife, to have a child. Seeing her was almost like a hard back slap across the face that served as a reminder: how life had the ability to be cruel and punishing for no reason whatsoever. While Emilia and Kendall had grown closer, he tried to keep Kendall and her baby away from her. She didn't need the reminder that even women who knew they weren't ready to have children were having them before she was.

He placed a kiss on the top of Emilia's head as she cried into her shoulder. It killed him that there was nothing he could do or say to make her feel better. Not when she was still mourning the loss of their child that didn't make it. "I know, Emmi," he said softly, rubbing her arm with the hand of the arm that was holding her to him, "I know." It wasn't as if he didn't notice those moments when she would just stop and hug or touch her stomach as if their baby was still there. He knew that she was thinking about him, and Razz would almost immediately say something or do something to snap her from her thoughts before she became too sad. He would sometimes stop and think about their child himself. What he would be doing now if their son had made it. Probably flipping out, making sure that their baby boy already had a college plan already set up so they wouldn't have to worry about it in the future. Razz no longer cried about it, but he would sometimes just slip deep into thought, thinking about every event of their child's life that would've happened: the first time they would put him to bed in his nursery, his first words, first steps, the first time he brought home his first girl/boyfriend. Up until their little boy would've brought home his first child after he married the person of his dreams. "Hey, we'll have our child eventually," he said softly, kissing her on the forehead. Razz didn't like thinking that it wasn't going to happen. If he had ever thought that way, he would have never accomplished so many of his pre-marriage goals, like getting his own place, paying for college himself, and having a decent job. "Quitters never win, right?"

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia looked up at Razz when he told her that they would have a child one day. How could he be so certain? She couldn't see it happening any time soon, though she was hoping desperately for it to happen. But he was right. Quitters never win, that was something she knew that Razz lived by and something that she should too. Emilia had to believe that one day, they would have a baby. One day, they would start a family together. She had to have faith. Emilia wasn't going to quit because Razz had faith that they would be able to have children someday, so she had to try too. Emilia would do absolutely anything to see Razz happy, and if that meant trying until they finally got a child or going to a million appointments, she would. Because if any of those appointments could help, they were worth it. Emilia had been trying for too long, giving up would make all that effort go to waste. Every doctors appointment would have been rendered pointless. It would make everything a waste of Razz's time, all the time he had to take off work to go to these appointments with her? He had to take so much time off, Emilia always felt guilty about that. But his boss was extremely understanding, and after what happened with her son he probably wanted to make sure that Emilia was safe. Being pregnant, she was at risk of another dangerous miscarriage. One that could kill her this time. But Emilia was taking that chance. She knew what she was risking, and she fully accepted what she would have to go through. Emilia knew it scared Razz, but she was a fighter. She never let things go without a fight, and this was something she was willing to fight for. " Right... Emilia muttered, letting Razz lay her down on the bed, pulling him into a kiss before he wrapped his arms around her. " I love you." She said quietly, nuzzling Razz's chest gently before drifting into sleep. She was tired, the whole day drained her.

Waking up to Razz giving her a kiss goodbye wasn't her favorite way of starting the morning, but she knew that he had work, so she didn't bother. Yawning, Emilia would tell him to have a good day at work and would drift back into sleep, same as today. The sun was shining brightly, and Emilia buried herself in the blankets as she heard the door close. Razz was off to work since he had to cover someone's morning shift, and Emilia was not a morning person. For an hour or so, she blissfully enjoyed her sleeping before waking up to the sound of birds by her window chirping loudly. Birds. How Emilia couldn't stand them, they were so loud and obnoxious so early in the morning. Groaning, she gave up and went to the restroom in the morning, brushing her teeth before glancing over at the box of pregnancy tests. Emilia paused for a moment, noticing that there were still about three left. Maybe she should try again? She didn't know if she could face a disappointing blow again. Still, she had to try again. She had to. Placing the pregnancy test on the sink again, Emilia pulled off her pajamas, throwing them in the hamper before rummaging through her closet. Finding a decent summer dress, Emilia lazily pulled it on, before quickly remembering that the pregnancy test was waiting for her. Rushing into the bathroom, Emilia checked the test quickly, hoping that it would be a positive result. Picking it up, she saw the pink plus sign smiling up and her and gasped. This couldn't be, could it? Two other pregnancy tests later, the results were unanimous.

Tying her hair up into a ponytail quickly, Emilia pulled on her shoes while running out of the house. Hopping into the car, Emilia quickly drove over to Razz's work. She had to tell him immediately! Normally she would just call, but this was something that she couldn't just tell him over the phone. She could hardly contain her excitement as she rushed over to the restaurant. What would she tell him? How would she break the news to him? Emilia would figure that out as she went along, she wasn't good at saying what she originally intended to anyways. She was so impulsive, she would probably just blurt something out knowing her. Still, part of her couldn't believe this was happening, that the original pregnancy test was a false reading. Pulling up to the restaurant, Emilia ran into the restaurant, asking the bus boy where Razz was. The boy stared at her surprised, and Emilia explained to him that she was his wife. " Oh! Razz is serving tables on the other side of the restaurant, he should be over there right now," He told her. Thanking the boy, Emilia ran through the restaurant, dodging people as she ran up to Razz, slightly out of breathe. The people who knew her that worked in the restaurant watched her run up to Razz, a confused expression on everyone's face. Razz was just leaving a table after getting their order before he was quickly grabbed by Emilia, obviously confused as to why she was at his work. " Razz!! I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant!" Emilia blurted out, hardly being able to hide her excitement. " I wanted to make sure that I wasn't before, so I took another test and it came out positive and I took like three and they all said the same thing, the first one was a false reading! We're having a baby!!" Emilia explained quickly, talking at a much faster pace than usual before throwing her arms around him. She just couldn't hold her excitement in anymore, she wanted to scream it to the world.

OOC: Her Dress

[Raziel Joshua Jefferson]

The last thing Razz wanted to do that morning was go to work, but with all the work he had been missing lately due to all the doctors appointments he went to with Emilia he had to. Well, he didn't necessarily have to -- his boss told him that those were all important so it was fine -- but he felt obligated to. His coworkers said that they didn't mind covering his shifts, and he didn't have to repay them, but Razz was felt guilty and insisted that he did. They claimed that they had nothing better to do, but he usually worked all the really busy shifts and he felt bad knowing that they were working all his hard shifts instead of relaxing. So he dutifully dragged himself out of bed, picking up his now-dirty uniform set off the floor and tossing it into the hamper on the way to the bathroom. He stepped into the shower, scrubbing off the dried sweat from the night before. He could feel his muscles aching still from his shift just the night before. They were having an exceptionally busy night and he was doing so much at once that everything had seemed like a blur at that moment. He was now feeling the after effects. Razz seriously considered calling his boss up and telling him he was going to take the day off, until his moral code kicked itself into his head, reminding him that if he was anything, it was a man of his word. He unwillingly turned the cold water on high, jolting him awake and full of energy. He shook his head to get rid of the still lingering sleepiness before turning off the water and drying himself off. Razz went to the mirror and looked at his reflection. He should really try taking care of himself more. The dark circles under his eyes were beginning to darken and his stubble from not shaving the past couple of days was starting to thicken. Grabbing the razor off the counter, he began to shave it off so he looked at least somewhat fresh for work. Razz wasn't particularly focused on how he looked so much as how his overall health was, but even he could tell that he looked more worn down than he used to. Walking back into the bedroom after he finished, he contemplated taking a week or two off for health recovery reasons.

He grabbed his clean uniform set out of the closet, slipping into it after he pulled on his boxers. He turned to look at Emilia still sleeping as he finished tying his tie. His beautiful wife who simply wanted to be pregnant and have a baby. he would be lying if he said that a big part of his stress wasn't caused from all the recent disappointment they had trying to have a baby. He thought his count was high enough that it shouldn't be this hard to have a baby no matter what issues Emilia's body was having. "Patience is a virtue, Razz," he reminded himself as a mumble, letting out a sigh. He walked over to the bed, leaning over Emilia's sleeping frame, giving her a kiss that woke her up only slightly. "Off to work, honey," he said softly, brushing her hair out of her face. He smiled at her tired reply, kissing her on the forehead once again and heading out the door. He put on some loud rock music to drown out his thoughts as he drove to work. It helped for him to just drown out his thoughts every now and then. He tended to get depressed when he let his thoughts wander too much. He pulled into his usual parking spot, greeting his coworkers at the door before starting his shift. Things were going as they usually did: guests smiling and talking, asking why such a young lad like him was already married. He would smile and reply that he just knew he met the right girl and he didn't want to wait. Razz never took off his wedding band, not even for work. His boss didn't mind, saying that if it was that important to him that he wear it, then it was fine that he wore it. Razz liked people knowing he was married, that he had found his one true love and that he was happy.

He had just finished taking an order when he was grabbed by Emilia, his face a mask of confusion. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when she announced that she was pregnant, and she was sure of it. The largest smile he could have appeared on his face and he picked her up into his arms, spinning her around. He was aware of everyone in the restaurant staring at them, but he couldn't care less. He was going to be a father! That first test had been a false one! "I'm going to be a father!" he exclaimed loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear. Suddenly there was a roar of applause as he kissed Emilia, holding her to him closely. He set her back down on her feet when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. Razz turned around to see his boss, Andrew, standing behind him with his arms crossed. Razz's face flushed, realizing that he was still at work. "I'm so sorry, sir," he apologized quickly. "It's just that Emmi is--" Andrew held up a hand, signalling for him to stop talking. Razz immediately shut up, expecting to be lectured when his boss smiled and held out a hand. "Congratulations, Razz. You're going to be a great father," he said. Razz took the hand, shaking it happily. All that worry for nothing. "Thank you, sir." Andrew waved off his thank you, grabbing his shoulder affectionately and shaking him. "No thanks needed. Just get your wife, get your ass out of my restaurant, and go celebrate," he said, pushing Razz towards Emmi. "Always a pleasure to see you, Emilia," he said as Razz took her hand and walked towards the exit, handing off the order he took to his coworker. Razz gathered her up in his arms again when they were outside the restaurant, kissing her again and again. "So what should we spend the day doing?" he asked, pressing his forehead to hers. "I personally think we should go tell our parents first. They'll be ecstatic!"

[Emilia Mira Backstrom]

Emilia giggled as Razz picked her up and twirled them around like the first time they found out they were pregnant. Except unlike the time before, Emilia was as happy as he was and this baby would live. Emilia knew it in her heart, it had to survive. Emilia blushed when he yelled to the entire world- or everyone in the restaurant -that he was going to be a father, everyone was staring. She barely care though. This was a new start, a new chance given to them by some beneficent god, a baby! She could hardly contain her joy as he kissed her, holding him as tightly as she could. The restaurant applauded, even some of Razz's co-workers stopping and clapping for them. Emilia couldn't stop herself from smiling, the giddiness of seeing how ecstatic Razz was made her even happier. He was going to be an amazing father, she could just tell. The way he cared for his siblings showed her a long time ago that he would be an astounding parent, even when they were simply dating. Emilia had to keep herself from giggling a little when Razz's boss tapped him on the shoulder. He probably didn't remember that he was still at work, and how could he? They were going to have a child together and start a family, just like Razz wanted. Just like Emilia wanted. She swore to herself the day she found out she was pregnant the first time that she was never going to end up her mother. Never. Emilia watched Andrew put his hand up as the infamous 'you're in trouble' expression, and she almost expected him to yell at him. Instead he congratulated him and told them to go celebrate, and they had to! Not only was it his boss's order, but for them. They waited for so long, celebration was a must.

Emilia nodded at Andrew, thanking him and kissing him on the cheek before Razz grabbed her hand and pulled her outside. Grinning, she kissed him back as she hugged him tightly, her arms wrapped around his neck. " We have to-" Emilia pulled him into a kiss before exclaiming," We're having a baby! Oh my god, I can't stop the shaking!" She admitted, hugging him tightly as they kissed again. Emilia's expression was nothing less than love for him. She had been trying so hard to make Razz happy, but when the baby died she could tell he was so hurt. Razz was so ready to be a father, the disappointment showed in his eyes when he looked at her sometimes. Emilia loved seeing him this genuinely happy, his smile was more vibrant than ever. Holding his hand, Emilia walked with him to his car, she could easily have one of the workers back at her family's house pick up the car. That wasn't an issue, they had to tell Razz's parents as soon as possible. They had to be the first ones they would tell, only after would she call her father. Her father was handling business in Sweden, but he would be glad to know that his daughter is finally having a child. On the car drive over to his parent's house, they talked about the complete redecoration of the baby room, Emilia didn't want anything from her past son being brought into the life of her new child. It was bad luck, and Emilia wanted the best for her baby. Driving up to the house, she gave him an excited grin before getting out of the car, holding Razz's hand as they walked up to the house and knocked on the door. Emilia watched his mother's surprised expression," We have something we have to tell you," She told her.

Once in the living room, Emilia watched Razz sat his mother down on the couch in the middle of the twins and his father and stood beside him as he announced that Emilia was pregnant. Razz's mom looked over at Emilia as though she wanted to confirm what he was saying was really true, and she nodded with a grin. Marianne stood up, eyes still wide as she hugged Razz, then hugging Emilia. " Congratulations, sweetheart, She whispered in her ear, for only her to hear. Razz's father had finally set down his newspaper, and walked straight up to Emilia. " We need to get you started on prenatal vitamins, have you been feeling any naseau, any symptoms?" "No, I've just a little more tired and moody," Emilia giggled. She expected this, the first time that they told them, he had practically checked to confirm that she was okay, and set up her appointment with one of people he knew at the hospital. He wanted the best he could get, not some random person taking care of his son's wife, and Emilia respected that this was his way of showing how he cared. A weird way, but that's just how he was. " Alex, don't start now," Marianne scolded, her hand on his shoulder. Emilia couldn't stop herself from smiling. She hoped that Razz and her would be amazing parents, like Marianne and Alex were to their children. They had raised them so well while working jobs, Emilia was amazed. Her mother didn't have a job and was still a worse mother than Marianne. Emilia was following Marianne's example, and she hoped that she would be good as a mother as she is.