Hilarious Quotes, Sayings, and Conversations, Heard something funny? Post it here

FOR EXAMPLE!!!!!!

Esa- "It's the cloth that covers the crotch!"
Me/Kago- *gives her a funny look* "You mean undergarmets."

--------------------------------OR--------------------------------

Me/Kago- *looks over my shoulder* "What are you doing?"
Esa- *is thrusting her hips behind me* "Nothing!"
Me/Kago- "Are you humping the chair?"
Esa- "NO! I'm humping you, the chair's just in the way!"

Esa- "There is one word I hate! It starts with a P and it's womanly!"
Kago- "Period?"
Esa- "No."
Kago- "Pagina?"
Esa- ".......Pagina?....Really?"

Kago- *Pokes Esa's forehead*
Esa- "Will you stop that?!"
Kago- "That's what Itachi does to Sasuke!"
Esa-"You wanna know what Madara did to his little brother?"
Kago-"Kill him."
Esa-"Before he killed him."
Kago-"What?"
Esa-*Punches Kago in the crotch*

Kayo: can you pass up a cookie?
Temari: what?
Kayo: pass up a cookie
Temari: did you just say soap up a pu**y?
Kayo: laughing histerically No I said pass up a cookie

All Must Read This!!!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3426560/3/Oh_My

(Not sure if it belongs here, but it is a hilarious situation to read about.)

hahaha so glad you thought that was funny. I read that & couldn't stop laughing it sounded so much like us. But here is my favorit line that sumons up everything so well:

"Well what do you want? Can't you tell I'm…busy?" Ino didn't want to admit she were bathing with Temari of the Sand, Shino of the yucky bug clan, Kakashi the perverted sensei, and the two crazy Akatsuki members Itachi and Deidara (who is now her new mother), but there was no way of getting out of this situation with words.

My mother was walking around the house talking in spanish and she kept emphasizing every word that sounded like whore.

Me: "You shut your whore mouth!"
My mom: "You shut your whore legs!"

Now that's what I call a healthy mother-daughter relationship=]

Alice: "Where does your Aunt Marie live?"
Me: "Why?"
Alice: "Because my asshole burns."

Out at dinner with my mom, step dad, & best friend Maria.
Step Dad: I love that guy from Lord of the Rings. You know Gibbins!
Me: You mean Gimli?
Step Dad: No Gibbins!
Ria: Gollum?
Step Dad: Not him!
*20mins later with random guessing*
Me; Ok for the last time there is no one named Gibbins in Lord of the Rings!
Step Dad: Yes there is he had the curly hair & hung out with the elfs.
Ria: Bilbo?
Step Dad: Yeah him Gibbins!
Me & Ria: *face palm*

Another great me & my step dad moment (Lord knows I love him)
Step Dad: Hey Dani why does none of this make sense? (watching Lord of the Rings for like the 5th night in a row)
Me: Which one are you watching?
Step Dad: Two Tower it says.
Me: What don't you get?
Step Dad: Why aren't they at the one place anymore? After they got ride of the ring?
Me: What order did you watch these?
Step Dad: *grabs boxes* Uhh Return of the King, Fellowship of the Ring now this one.
Me: Good God it's Star Wars all over again!
(it took me almost 2 months to get him to watch the Star Wars trilogy in the proper order he didn't notice they had numbers)

*Eating dinner with my mom, brother, and sister.*

Mom: *Finishes burger* "My mouth wants more.
Me: "Whoaaaa!"
Devin: *starts singing* "But my body! My body is telling me noooo!"

Naruto: Can you lean down & grab me a cookie by your desk?
Temari: What?
Naruto: Can you get me a cookie by your desk?
Temari: Do I want to go to a bookie? Do I want to make a bet?
Naruto: Well sure but I was asking for a cookie!

I appearntly have issues when it comes to cookies

My friend and I were talking about blow jobs [[for the love of God, don't ask]]

Marc: "Ahh, I remember that time that one chick gave me a blow job. God, best memory I've ever had~!"

Me: *deadpans* "Marc, you're a guy, what memory of a blow job ISN'T A GOOD ONE!?"

Esa: "Isn't ginger bread supposed to make you poop?"

Me/Kago: *deadpans* "Cute Esa, cute."

This is a song I wrote for Temari after our conversation we had about Zetsu and what he looks like under his...plant thingy....>_>

If you've never heard the song "Best friend" by Toybox I suggest listening to this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAfu2MBYEew

Now read on!

Who ha! Who ha!

Na Na nanana nanananananaaa!
(2x)

Have you ever seen Zetsu naked?

Temari's my best friend best of all best friends
Do you have a best friend too?
It tickles in my tummy Zetsu is so yummy yummy
Hey you should picture Zetsu naked too

who ha! Who ha!

Hello, baby, can I see a smile
I'm going to see Zetsu naked , and it's gonna be wild
Can I come, I am sitting alone
No, Zetsu is never clothed.

that’s right!

Maybe some guys are naked in your world
Excuse me, I could also be your plant
Lately, everyone is making fun
Na na na na na na na na na na na

Temari's my best friend, best of all best friends
Do you have a best friend too?
It tickles in my tummy, Zetsu is so yummy yummy
Hey, you should picture Zetsu naked too
my best friend!

Who ha! Who ha! (2x)
na na nanana nanananananaaa!
Who ha who ha!

Aloha baby, let's go to the beach
Yeah, Zetsu in a bikini is waiting for me (uh huh)
But I was hoping for a summer-romance
so why can't you take off Zetsu's pants
Okay!

Maybe some guys are naked your world
Excuse me, I could also be your plant
lately, everyone is making fun
Na na nanana nanananananaaa!

Temari's my best friend, best of all best friends
Do you have a best friend too?
It tickles in my tummy, Zetsu is so yummy yummy
Hey, you should picture Zetsu naked too!
My best friend!

Who ha who ha (3x)
na na nanana nanananananaaa!

Maybe some naked guys are in your world
Excuse me, I could also be your plant
Lately, everyone is making fun

Let's get this party on,
Hit me with that Zetsu hentai!

oh whoa oh
who ha who ha
oh whoa oh

you should get a best friend too

Temari's my best friend, best of all best friends
Do you have a best friend too?
It tickles in my tummy, Zetsu is so yummy yummy
Hey, you should picture Zetsu naked too!
My best friend!

Who ha who ha (2x)
he's so naked!
na na nanana nanananananaaa!

It's a work of art, I know!

Something that pretty much sums up me and Sakura:
Sakura: 豬 我不喜歡你。ｘＤ (Pig, I do not like you xD"
Ino: 我爱你，樱花。这就是为什么我展示了裸体。(Sakura, I love you. That is why I am showing up (to your wedding) nude."

And we can't forget my rant on why Naruto should have been a shoujo manga:
"Shoujo manga is awesome! It has love and sex and frills and glitter and rainbows AND SEX! I want costume changes! And romance! And sex! And makeup! And fashion shows!!!!!! AND BOYS LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333"