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Posted: Apr 18 2006, 10:12 PM
Shocked Woona is Shocked
Group: Super Members
Member No.: 18
Joined: 18-January 05
["Zoo Station" by U2 cues up as images of action by Kenzer Empire Wrestling's finest flash upon the screen.
KEW PRESENTS...WAR CRIES!!!
Slow dissolve from the graphics as we fade up into our modest studio. The ever-present "Big" Al Lieberman sits behind his desk and flashes a grin to the viewers at home. No snarky comment here for a change...we haven't the heart.]
BAL: Welcome again, KEW fans! This month, the Lion's Den comes to the Mohegan Sun in Connecticut and you can bet things will be hectic there!
[*wince* Al doesn't even notice.]
BAL: Speaking of betting, I hope Jackie will be able to keep an eye on Phil. Meanwhile, our Main Event will hopefully finally settle matters between Akiruu Belathiel and "Mr. Bollywood" Ravi Kapoor. The Elf Maiden has been on the warpath for Kapoor for quite some time now, but the Calcutta Casanova always seemed to slip out of her grasp. This time, there's no escape...here's what Akiruu had to say!
AB: Finally is a word that I am going to use a lot currently. Because you see finally Ravi has no choice but to face me. Finally I have a chance to show this pig of a man that he has nothing over me. Finally I get to show this coward that I can beat him fair and square. Finally I can show my brother and my family that I can stand on my own two feet and fight my own battles. And finally Ravi you are going to pay. Finally you are going to regret the day you hear the name Akiruu Belathiel. Finally your reign of pigishness is going to end. Finally I will get my revenge against you and show KEW that you are a fake a fraud and a coward. Finally you will be in the ring with me without some stupid stipulation that will make it so you can run away like the yellow dirt crawling lizard that I know you are. Lion's Den is when I will get my payback, FINALLY!
[Fade back to Big Al.]
BAL: Also making a return to KEW will be the Four Jacks. Well, one of the Four Jacks will be seeing action at least...the Jack of Spades. I managed to catch some words with Spades. Take a look!
JACK OF SPADES
[Camera fades in on a shot of the rolling ocean on the Eastern Seaboard. Waves crash into jagged rocks, sending showers of spray into the air. Camera pans up to show your intrepid host "Big" Al Lieberman looking down at the churning sea. Beside him, looking out at the horizon, is the leader of The Four Jacks, Jack of Spades. Jack is dressed in a black jeans and a white t-shirt, the wind ruffling his long brown hair. Jack looks thoughtful, a faint smile dancing over his handsome features. "Big" Al looks down at the rather long way down, and gulps.]
Big Al: Um, Jack, this is how you relax? Standing on the edge of a cliff?
Jack of Spades: It's one way. Let's you appreciate Nature's beauty.
Big Al: [Looking down again with a shudder] You appreciate too closely, you're fish food.
JoS: [Laughs softly] What's life without a little risk, Al?
[From behind the two men, some rather… odd noises are starting to drift into the range of the microphone; the sounds of men grunting, of wood smacking together, and occasionally the sound of wood hitting flesh, along with a muffed curse or two. Al turns around, and cocks an eyebrow at the scene behind him.]
Big Al: And does what they're doing count as relaxing, too?
[Jack turns around, and smiles.]
JoS: Nope, that counts as honing their skills.
[The camera pans over to show a spacious green lawn, the backyard of a large brick house. Across the grass Jax of Clubs and Jaq of Diamonds are involved in a sword fight using Japanese wooden swords known as bokken. Both men's faces are studies in grim determination as they dodge each others' strikes.]
Big Al: Most people go to the gym, ya know.
JoS: Oh, we do that, too. This whole exercise was Diamonds' idea…supposed to sharpen reflexes.
Big Al: Is it working?
[Jax of Clubs rushes at Jaq of Diamonds, the bokken raised above his head, eyes flashing with rage. Diamonds easily sidesteps him, then brings his own bokken down on Clubs back with a wince-inducing CRACK. Knocked off-balance, Clubs falls face-first into the grass. Bellowing like an wounded bear, he leaps to his feet, and charges yet
again. Camera pans back to Jack of Spades, who's trying hard not to laugh.]
JoS: Diamonds thinks so... I'd wait to ask Clubs his opinion.
Big Al: Uh… huh. [The pair of them start walking along the grass, the swordfight continuing in the background. Al looks around, noticing that one Jack is still missing.] So, where's the lovely Jak of Hearts this afternoon?
JoS: Beats me. She said something about going shopping for Gamma Ray.
Big Al: WHAT?!
JoS: Yeah. She went out this morning muttering something about a bigger mask and a tube of Superglue...Something about "the fans shouldn't have to suffer...there might be pregnant woman out in the crowd…", [Jack shrugs] I don't know, she gets these ideas…
Big Al: ... [Deciding a change of subject is in order] What's your opinion of KEW so far? Your four have been here long enough to get your feet wet.
JoS: It's great. The fans have been awesome, and the competition has been really intense.
Big Al: Some people might say it's been a little too intense - your win-lose records haven't been exactly stellar…
[There is a sudden, total absence of sound. Both Jaq of Diamonds and Jax of Clubs have stopped working out, and are staring at Big Al. Al realizes about two seconds too late that this line of questioning may not have been the right one after all. He turns and looks over at Jack of Spades - and notices with some nervousness that the smile is gone. Jack's hazel eyes are staring coldly at him, and Al's a little worried.
[Jack of Spades sighs, and simply turns to the other two men. He nods, they look at each other, shrug and go back to fighting. He turns back to Al, who's relieved to see that Jack's eyes are no longer so hostile - in fact they're sparkling with humor. Jack sighs, and shakes his head.]
JoS: Boy, Al, when you wanna stick the knife in, you stick it up to the hilt, huh?
Big Al: I-I didn't…
JoS: No, it's alright. You're right - we haven't won all our matches. But I think you would agree that we've given the fans a show. Win or lose, we give all we can. Sometimes, you just need to buckle down a little - something I'm going to be doing my next match. I've got no problems with El Lobo Loco, and I hope he won't
have any with me - since I'm gonna trying my hardest to beat him.
[Fade out. Back to "Big" Al, who still looks a little nervous.]
BAL: Many thanks to the Jacks for NOT using me as target practice! Folks, last Lion's Den saw the start of a new tag team making trouble in Kenzer Empire Wrestling. The Ubergeeks' good-natured razzing of Phil Anderson caught the attention of a..."legitimate businessman" and associate of Phil's by the name of Mr. Haliburton, who brought in his Problem Solvers to take care of the 'Geeks. They then took over the 'Geeks' spot in their match against the Taylor Twins, but Brad and Blake soon came back to answer that attack and things ended with a no-contest brawl! The Problem Solvers will be making their official debut this coming Lion's Den, with the Ubergeeks still on their minds. Here's Mr. Haliburton.
[The camera fades in to see Mr. Haliburton, reclining on an office chair. He’s wearing a business suit, complete with hat, and several rings on his fingers. He’s reading a book…]
Mr. H: “… to determine your hit points, consult table 13d. For instance, a fighter rolls 1d10 per level until he hits level 9, at which point he adds three hit point every…”
[Mr. Haliburton shakes his head in disgust.]
Mr. H: What the hell kind of crap is this?
[He closes the book and dumps it in a garbage can off the side of his desk.]
Mr. H: When these… Ubergeeks, or whatever they call themselves, hit the ring, I’ll admit I was impressed. Most people try to avoid confrontation with my Problem Solvers. These two took a severe lesson at the hands of my men, and wanted to come back for more. That took either bravery or stupidity. So I thought I’d find out more about these… Geeks. See if I can inside their heads, find out what kind of men they are. And I found out….
[Mr. Haliburton points to the book in the garbage can.]
Mr. H: … that they are, in fact, that stupid. [Mr. Haliburton shakes his head]. Boys, let me spell out some real-world facts to you. Games are played by Hoyle’s rules. Cards have four suits, and run from ace to king. Dice have only six sides, and you try to avoid crapping out with them. These so-called games that you play are nothing more than your imagination run amok. Well, eventually reality is going to hit you hard. And, in this case, reality takes the form of my Problem Solvers.
[Mr. Haliburton stands up and straightens his tie.]
Mr. H: This week, my Problem Solvers will be taking on these Gunslingers. And that’s fine and good. Easy money for hurting people- that’s the type of deal that both my men and I like. All business, as it should be. And if these Ubergeeks try to get in our way, ever again…
[Mr. Haliburton shakes his head]
Mr. H: Reality will beat them down hard. Again.
[Mr. Haliburton leans over and spits into the garbage can as the camera fades to grey. Cut back to "Big" Al.]
BAL: Speaking of the tag team scene, our tag champs Legion boasted that no team will get a title shot against them unless one of them is bested in a singles match first! There's been no confirmation from Commissioner White if she's going along with that stipulation, but Nightdruid will be facing a familiar foe in Jrollins come Lion's Den! Here are words from both Legion AND Jrollins!
[The scene appears to be a lightly wooded area, something not unlike what one would see in a typical nature documentary. Brimstone and NightDruid, dressed in light brown cargo shorts and buttondown shirts, walk into view. Both wear hats rimmed with crocodile teeth.]
ND, in a thick australian accent: Howdy folks, I'm Steve, and this is my partner, Barry, and we are...
ND & BS: the Tag Team Hunters
ND: Today, we're tracken the ever elusive, Opponents Worthy of Legion's time, in the KEW Outback! And we're on the trail of KEW Tag Teams that claim they are worthy of a shot at Legion's Tag Team Titles. Do any of these teams have what it takes to step in the ring with Legion? Lets find out!
[ND walks through the brush, ducking down behind a bush. The camera peers into a clearing just past ND's position. In the middle of the clearing is a pair of extremely scranny, nerdy-type guys, complete with beer-bottle thick glasses, pocket protectors, and pants pulled up to chest-level. They're at a table, apparently playing a game involving dice and books.]
ND, in a low voice: CRIKEY! Here we have a beautiful example of Ubus Geekius, commonly known as Ubergeeks. Look at the badly mis-matched clothes and buckteeth!
These are perfect specimens of the Geekius family. Now, normally you don't see these creatures out during the daylight because they're nocturnal creatures. The natural habitat for these creatures is their parents' basement, where they hide during the day. This is because they have so many natural enemies who beat them up on sight: jocks, cheerleaders, band members, and basically everybody else. Look at their unkempt, unwashed hair! These animals have absolutely no grooming habits, so you don't want to get too close!
[The geeks get into an arguement over something, and start slap-fighting! Fortunately, they're so far about that only their hands are slapping the air in front of them. Both geeks keep their head turned and eyes closed!]
ND: CRIKEY! Here you can see the Ubus Geekius engaged in a fight. Now normally, when animals fight like this, it's over mating rights. But, Ubus Geekius are utterly unable to get any females to give 'em the time of day, so they fight over a game they play, Hackmaster. In this game, they pretend to be something that's not a complete loser. Because they are complete losers, they argue and fight over the rules constantly. CRIKEY! Look how they fight! Fortunately, they won't hurt each other, because
they're too cowardly to get close enough to actually strike one another! They can keep this up for hours!
BS, also in a hushed voice: CRIKEY! Steve, check this out!
["Barry" is crouched behind another bush, just beyond which is another clearing, and another tag team. This one consists of one scrawny, squawking little guy who has what appears to be a large, dumb-looking puppet. The puppet stares out into space while the little guy keeps yapping away, almost as if the puppet weren't there.]
BS: A pair of Trivial Twins! What a pair of beauts! These guys are a perfect example of Trivial Tag Teams. See, Trivial Tag Teams are Tag Teams that accomplish nothing other than wasting the fan's time. As you can see, the shrimpy guy does all the talking, while the big dummy does nothing but take up space. Now, since the only purpose of tag teams like this is to waste time, let's move on. We've just GOT find a worthy opponent for Legion!!
[Suddenly, the Firewalker Midgets cross the camera shot, 'little dam' following 'little JR"! They hop around for a while, and then little dam hops on a stump and flexes his "muscles", only to have little JR push him off and take his place! Little Dam starts crying!]
BS: CRIKEY! What luck! A pair of Losermus Walkamus! We haven't seen these since Seven Tables of Fear, and officials were worried they had become extinct after the beating they got from Legion! What rare treat!
ND: Look at how the one in the unicorn-printed tights assumes dominance over the younger, weaker male! CRIKEY! Listen to the cries from the weaker male! He's a yeller!
BS: And look how the dominant male likes being the center of attention! These animals are known for being glory-hounds and attention-whores. And they're quite delusional, thinking they're "cool" and "popular". Watch how the dominant male pushes his partner around like a dog!
ND: Here's something else that's reeaallyy interesting [he gets next to little JR]. Check this out: a complete lack of Gold around the waist area! These animals have NEVER been seen with gold around the waist! And because of their genetic inferiority, they never will! CRIKEY!
[The camera pans out, and the geeks, still slap-fighting, come in the scene. From the other side, the Trivial Twins wander in, the scrawny guy yapping away oblivously while struggling to carry the big dummy.]
BS: Well, unfortunately Steve, we haven't found a single tag team worthy of a title shot!
ND: CRIKEY! That's a shame. Well, that's all we have time for this week! And remember, always have unworthy tags teams Spayed and Neutered!
[The tag teams instantly stop squabbling and stare, horrified, into the camera! They quickly cover their crotches!]
BAL: So, finally you get to take part of Legion in a match.
Jrollins: Yes Al finally, although it isn't Brimstone but at least it is a start.
BAL: So do you think that you can win this and get a title match?
Jrollins (fire alight in his eyes): You know Al, Commissioner White hasn't said yet if the match is going to have that stipulation. But it matters not. I am going to take Legion down a peg or fifteen.
BAL: What will be your strategy?
Jrollins: Sorry Al but not going to get that. All I have to say is NightDruid you are going down hard. I will show no mercy, I will hold nothing back. The jrollins you have seen in the past is nothing compared what you will see when you face me this Lion's Den. So you better have hospital staff on hand to wheel you out when I am done!
[Jrollins drops the mic, gets up and storms out.]
BAL: But wait, I still have questions.
[J is gone. Back to the studio.]
BAL: Jrollins has always been a man of few words. Another team looking to possibly challenge Legion is the Taylor Twins. During their short time here so far in KEW, they've proven to be quite the dominant force! Before Cold War Rising, Gamma Ray laid Jimmy Taylor out with a vicious attack. The delusional superhero then tried to quit before Jimmy could get his due shot at payback, but the Commissioner wouldn't hear of it! They'll be squaring off in Connecticut.
THE TAYLOR TWINS
[Fade in... well, looks like it might be a gym. One could surmise it's a gym, given the exercise equipment we see.
And we pan over to where we find The Taylor Twins, Jimmy and Jack, sitting on a bench, each with a towel draped around his neck. Jimmy is dressed in a black T-shirt and navy blue shorts while Jack wears a white tank top and black shorts.
And while it looks like both have had a grueling workout, it's apparent such a workout does not stop Jimmy from his chatter, as we are about to find out.]
Jimmy: So they finally gave me the match I wanted... one on one with Gamma Ray... yeah, he's telling everyone about how he lost his beautiful mask, his beautiful face and his livelihood... never mind he never was beautiful to begin with, even with the mask on... but if he thought his livelihood will never be the same, just wait until I get my hands on him. I don't forget what happened, no way, no how, no sir, not at all!
[Jack wipes sweat from his brow as Jimmy keeps going.]
Jimmy: He wanted to use me as an example against Rook, but then Rook made an example out of him, and now I get to make an example out of him. I'm telling you, Jack, that I'm gonna make him pay, even if you aren't going to be in the ring with me... I know you'll be by my side, but you know I gotta go at this alone... it's the only way to make Gamma Ray pay for what he did to me. You understand, though, don't you?
[Jack takes a deep breath.]
[He pauses, then just nods.]
Jack: I mean... um... yeah... that's... um... what I mean.
[He reaches over to grab a bottle of water as Jimmy goes off on his next tangent.]
Jimmy: Of course you understand... you're my brother, my best friend, and are always gonna be by my side like we were since the day we were born... too bad Gamma Ray can't understand what it's like to have somebody by his side... and because he doesn't have anybody by his side, he's gonna be at a disadvantage... not that you're gonna be coming in there and helping me, because you understand this needs to be settled one on one and not two on one, or else Gamma Ray isn't gonna learn his lesson the way he needs to learn it... but you better believe he'll learn a lesson... whether he remembers it or not remains to be seen, but one way or another, he's gonna learn a lesson.
[Jack grabs another bottle of water and is about to hand it to Jimmy, but Jimmy keeps talking.]
Jimmy: And then after this, we can concentrate on going back to the tag team ranks... and now they want to bring in these Problem Solvers into the ranks... I can't believe they ruined things with what was going to be a great match with the Ubergeeks... even if I could never be a walking encyclopedia of Star Trek episodes, the Ubergeeks didn't deserve what happened to them! I'm sure they'll want to get their hands on the Problem Solvers again, but you and I just may have to do that as well because we didn't get to teach them a lesson. But regardless, as much as I know I've done well on my own, you're my brother and I want to achieve success with you, so we best be getting back to concentrating on the tag team ranks! You want to do that, right?
[Jack offers the bottle of water to Jimmy, which Jimmy helps himself to. He now takes a drink as Jack speaks.]
Jack: Yeah... um... agreed.
[And says very little.]
Jack: But... um... worry about... ah... Gamma Ray...
[And a little more it turns out.
Which brings us to Jimmy, as he just barely finishes swallowing a gulp of that water.]
Jimmy: Don't you worry about a thing... I'm gonna be concentrating on Gamma Ray first before we think about what's next in the tag team ranks... but it's just that we came here to be a tag team and that's what we gotta keep our focus on! Did you notice how Legion seemed a bit worried about us.... we were the first names they mentioned among the contenders and, I don't know about you, but it sure looked to me they weren't really feeling that secure about us coming after them. They know we can do it... they know we have what it takes... and I don't think they believe they can hold us off for long! So you better believe...
[...that we will learn more another day, because we are fading out.]
[BAL is standing outside, in a small wooded and flowery park in front of a large white bricked building with mirrored windows. Passing cars can be heard if not seen from this vantage point, and the small park at the building's entrance is bustling with activity. People of all kinds walk by, notably a man in a wheelchair, and a few white coat wearing doctors and nurses.]
BAL: Well folks, I'm here in front of Hartford Hospital, in Connecticut's city of the same name, minus the “Hospital” part. I'm here because, well, it appears KEW's resident “superhero” is getting fitted for his protective mask, the device he'll be wrestling with this month. And, oh! Here he comes now. I almost didn't recognize him with this thing on... Hello, Gamma Ray.
[His back facing the camera, a figure approches and walks next to Big Al. The green cape leaves no doubt as to the man's identity.]
BAL: This... that's your protective mask?
GR: Yes. [GR turns towards the camera, revealing a mask most commonly associated with the Jason horror movie franchise. A hard white plastic shell riddled with little holes covers the Irradiated One's face. It's even decorated with a discreet Hartford Whalers logo, the city's old Hockey team.]
BAL: That's an old-school hockey goalie mask! It doesn't look medical at all!
GR: You can blame the ill-equipped Hartford doctors if this mask isn't to your liking, Lieberman. It's not comfortable, but they tell me it'll do its job. It's quite painful, really, since I HAVE NO FACE!!
BAL: Come on, now, we've been over this already. The doctors say-
GR: Spare me your incoherent ramblings, Lieberman.
BAL: Anyhow, Commissioner White wanted me to give you this.
[BAL hands GR a small folded piece of paper. As GR takes it, it unfolds, cascading down to the ground as it takes the shape of a very, very long list.]
GR: What the hell is this?
BAL: The list of things you won't be allowed to wear starting next month.
GR: What the... “Welder's mask, surgeon's mask, luchador mask, beauty mask...” this thing goes on forever! ...”Phantom of the Opera mask, ski mask, monkey...” Wait. Monkey? Why the hell would I wear a monkey on my face?
BAL: Just making sure, I guess.
GR: This is bull[bleep], Lieberman! What does Mr. White want to do? Force me to retire? I can't reveal my identity! This is nuts! Especially since I HAVE NO FACE!!
BAL: Right, well-
GR: I'm KEW's “Most Valuable Performer,” for crying out loud! What's the deal with making my life miserable like this, huh? I'm the world's unsung savior! I'm the man who thwarted Doctor Gizmo's evil schemes!
BAL: Doctor who?
GR: I'll tell you that story later, Lieberman, and maybe I'll even tell you some of my other stirring tales of derring-do. All I'm asking is this. Why am I being persecuted this way? I'm the only person on the roster worthy of the Heavyweight Championship!
GR: Oh, look at the facts, Lieberman! Who else is there? I'm miles ahead of everyone else in every regards!
BAL: Well, there's Roo-
GR: DON'T even think of saying that name in my presence, Lieberman! That little puke's a walking fluke!
BAL: He beat y-
GR: Cold War Rising was a fluke! I completely destroyed him. He's not even in the picture, anymore. I put an end to his career, and if by some abominable twist of fate he does step in the ring again, it'll be as a shadow of his former self, which wasn't much to begin with.
BAL: What about the other number one contender?
GR: Denizen Kapoor? An upstanding young man. As far as mere mortals go, he's top notch. But you willfully seem to forget that I'm a superhero, Lieberman, and no simple mortal man. I'm a superhero, and thus I outclass everyone else by default.
BAL: Did I just hear you claim immortality?
GR: Of course I'm frikkin' immortal, Lieberman! How else do you explain the fact that I'm standing next you, in obvious stunning shape [GR strikes a heroic pose] despite the fact that I HAVE NO FACE?
BAL: [rolls his eyes] Yes, you DO have one! The doctors told us your facial skin completely healed, and that your eyebrows will grow back soon.
GR: Are you really going to believe some pencil-neck doctor's delusions over the Irradiated One's Voice of Truth? I have no face, and you'll never see me without a mask, EVER! You people want to give me a list of stuff I can't wear? Fine. No matter how long your list is, you forgot to add at least one kind of mask. I guarantee there's something you forgot to write down, and I'm gonna find out what it is. And when I do, I'll wear it, and you won't be able to do anything about it. Period. My secret identity will be safe, I'll still be a superhero, and no one will have to see me without my face!
BAL: But you... [sighs] Forget that, let's just change the subject. Jimmy Taylor now has a chance give you a receipt for what you did to him.
GR: What are you talking about? I never did anything to that Jimmy kid!
BAL: You mercilessly attacked him just prior to Cold War Rising!
GR: Oh, jeeze... That's a long time ago! Let me remember. Hmm... I distinctly recall teaching Piñata Boy a well deserved lesson... but I can't remember doing anything to a Jimmy Taylor.
BAL: You dressed him up like Rook before-
GR: Whatever, Lieberman. If I truly did punish that kid like you claim I did, he deserved it, plain and simple. I stand for truth and justice, and all that is good in mankind, no matter how atrophied that good is. Sometimes, a hero like me has to lay down the law. You gotta take some punk kid like Jim Taylor, and make an example out of him. You beat him down to a bloody pulp, knock some teeth out and break a few bones to send a message to all the other villains out there.
BAL: Oh? And what is that message, exactly?
GR: Gamma Ray will always save the day. ALWAYS!
[Cut back to Al now shaking his head.]
BAL: I wonder if Jak of Hearts could pick up a muzzle for him when she goes shopping... [He sighs.] Folks, I'm picking up news now that this Lion's Den we'll have a few words from Commissioner White about our next pay-per-view! [Al grins.] I know it just seems like we just finished one, but it looks like the Commissioner wants to strike while the iron is hot. No doubt what she'll have to say will be of great importance to our two Number One Contenders Rook and Ravi Kapoor!
“Welcome KEW fans. I'm Big Al Lieberman and today I come to you from the windy city of Chicago where in just a few minutes the newest Toro's Gym and Community Center is about to open. Rook is about to take the stage, so let's hear what he has to say.”
[The camera pans to the left and zooms in on a building that looks very similar to the one in southern California. There is a crowd of several hundred KEW fans and even a couple news vans with their crews. Rook stands on a small platform wearing his mask and a very sharp looking suit.]
Rook: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. KEW fans and the press.
Today marks the opening of the first, but hopefully not last, Toro's Gym and Community Center.
This center will bring new opportunities to those in this community including, after-school programs, continued learning services, a GED program and even legal advice.
Growing up in Southern California without a father was tough. If it wasn't for my uncle, who gave up his career to help his little sister and her son, I would hate to think where I would be today. He opened Toro's Gym and gave a place for his nephew to get away from the drug dealers and gang bangers that ran the streets of our nieghborhood. This one man made not only saved my life, but the lives of dozens if not hundreds of youth that chose to spend their afternoons learning the art of lucha instead of walking the streets with gangs.
Now, thanks to my success in the KEW, I am able to return the favor and honor the man who made my success possible. So I am opening a Toro's gym here in Chicago's south side hoping a few lives will be changed here as well. But unlike Toro's Gym in California, we are giving more options than just learning lucha. Here, students will have access to the internet and mentors for help with school work. Adults who never finished high school can work toward earning their GED. Others can learn new skills including welding to computer programming at our continued education center. And finally, with the help of several firms around the city, we will be able to offer legal advice several nights a week free of charge.
Rook: [Pulls out a pair of scissors and approaches a red ribbon that crosses the front doors] So my friends, I say “Welcome to Toro's!” [snip] We're here for you!
[Rook steps to the sides and begins to shake hands with people as they walk through the doors.]
Al: Well, there you go folks! Rook is making sure that not only his own community but other communities around the country will benefit from his success. Let's go see if we can get a few questions in with him.
[Al makes his way through the crowd and even has to elbow past other members of the media before he is able to get close enough to Rook to ask him some questions.]
Al: Rook! Big Al!
Rook: Al Gigante! Mi amigo, cómo es usted?
Al: Great, thanks. Wow! What a day Rook. Your Uncle must be proud.
Rook: Ci. We talked last night and he is quite pleased.
Al: Well, Rook, I for one want to congratulate you on this wonderful project. I hope you open a hundred more around the country.
Rook: Gracias Al. Me too.
Al: Now Rook, tell us. When will you be wrestling again? Has your doctor cleared you yet?
Rook: I should be back soon. The doctor is supposed to take the stitches out tomorrow and he's going to take new x-rays to see how the bones are healing while I'm there.
Al: Well, that's good to hear. I know there are a ton of Rook fans out there that have been going through withdrawals.
Rook: Don't I know it. Phil has been burning up the message boards over at Rook.com. Don't worry Phil, your “sure thing” will be back soon. I promise.
Al: Ha! That's great! Phil in not only a closet geek, he's also a closet Rookaholic.
Rook & Al : HA! HA! HA!
Al: Speaking of the message boards, there seems to be quite a few people there that believe that Ravi Kapoor was out of line when he demanded the heavy weight belt from Commissioner White. Do you think he was out of line?
Rook: Oh, Ravi was out of line all right, but not when it comes to the belt. I can't blame him for wanting the belt and if I'm not cleared to wrestle soon, I would encourage the commish to do so as long as I'm listed as the #1 contender. What really makes me upset is how Mr Bollywood has treated many of the female wrestlers and especially his advances on Maureen.
Al: So you don't think the ladies can take care of themselves?
Rook: I didn't say that Al. What gets me hot is how he refuses to show them respect. Akiruu showed us that she can take care of herself just fine. Just ask Dam. I can't wait to see her get a hold of Ravi at the next Lions Den. I even have a front row seat.
Al: So you'll be ringside at the next LD?
Rook: That's right. I'm going to be sitting in the front row with a dozen winners of the WB's “I want to be like Rook sweepstakes.” The winners were named after an episode of Mucha Lucha last weekend.
Al: Dang, I didn't win.
Al: Nothing. So several Rook fans will be joining you at ringside. That sounds great.
Rook: It should be a load of fun.
[an unknown masked wrestler with the words “Toro's Gym Training Staff” on his shirt comes up to Rook and whispers something in his ear.]
Rook: Al, I have some fans asking for me...
Al: Okay, Rook. Any last words before you go?
Rook: Sure, “Follow your dreams kids. Don't let anything stop you. Remember you family, faith and country.” Oh, and Ravi. Touch Maureen again and you're gonna have to answer to me.
Al: Thanks Rook.
[We open to a small, non-descript room somewhere in the backstage area of an arena. Presumably, this was filmed after the previous Lion's Den in Lowell, but really it could be anywhere. A smirking Ravi Kapoor stands in front of the camera, waiting for his cue. He waits only a second…]
RK: Tick… tock… tick…. tock.
Can you feel it? Can you feel it slipping by?
Tick… tock… tick… tock.
Can you feel it, Rook? Can you feel time going? Can you feel your moment of glory as it passes you by?
When you feel the pain of your injuries from Cold War Rising… when you grit your teeth in pain while going through your physio sessions, or trying to deadlift a weight you could easily handle just weeks before, I just have to wonder… can you feel it?
Can you feel the pain of knowing that your one and only opportunity will pass you by before you're ready to take it?
When you feel that physical pain, can you feel the mental anguish that comes with it? Can you sense that every second that ticks by is a second that you've lost and I've gained? Can you feel it, with every moment that passes, that your claim to a title shot weakens, and that my…
[Here, Kapoor pauses for a moment. It doesn't seem possible, but his cocky grin gets even bigger, and his demeanor even more annoying.]
RK: …my status as De Facto World Champion… my DESTINY to be on top of this industry… it just gets stronger.
Tick… tock…. tick…. tock.
Your time's running out. Akiruu Belathiel, yours too. But my time… my championship… my destiny… they become more real with each passing second. I'll have even more to say about that destiny at the Lion's Den. But until then, Rook… Akiruu… and my lovely Maureen… the only thing you have to look forward to…
…is the passage of time.
[With that, Kapoor suddenly walks out of the shot. Once he's out of the way, we can see that on the wall behind him is a large clock, which had been obscured by Kapoor's body. The camera zooms in towards it, getting closer and closer in its shot until the clock is the only thing we see. We stay on the image of the clock slowly ticking away for a few seconds, and we notice that its operation is quite loud.
Tick… one second goes by.
Tock… there goes another.
And then we fade to black.]
KENZER EMPIRE WRESTLING 2006