JT: Oh, What a wonderful way to start the show! Danny Daniels in the middle of the ring with a microphone in hand!
PA: You better believe it, Jackie!
JT: I was being sarcastic, Phil. You know sarcasm, right?
PA: Zip it Jackie, Daniels is about to speak!
DD: [Standing in the ring] Can you believe how lucky you Wisconsin people are? First off, you get to see your hero, Danny Daniels, in all his splendor! [The crowd loudly boos] Then, in a moment, you'll also see me win a spectacular match against Rook!
JT: What? But Rook's not even medically cleared to compete!!
PA: Well, Danny Daniels is injured too! His ribs are taped up! Now shut up Jackie, your hero's talking!
DD: Not only that, you undeserving, inbred, Wisconsin folk will witness Gamma Ray's reinstatement, thanks to my upcoming victory!
[Crowd boos even louder]
PA: Ooh, that's right, Jackie! If Rook gets a loss on his record today, that'll mean he's on the active roster... and that means Gamma Ray isn't suspended anymore!
JT: I don't understand at all. Rook's not here, so he would forfeit a match. Forfeitting a match doesn't put you on the active roster.
DD: Alright! Let's get this match started! Introducing first, the most amazing human being on this planet, the best wrestler in KEW by far, “Your Hero,” Danny Daniels!!
[The continuous stream of boos from the crowd are only broken by spontaneous “you suck” chants]
DD: And my opponent, from Illegal-Alien-Ville, Mexico, the “Flying Rodent,” Rook!
JT: Rook's from California, and no one ever called him a “flying rodent!” This match isn't even close to being legitimate, and no KEW referee would fall for it!
DD: And as a special guest referee, the greatest super-human in the world, the only one you can depend on to save the day, Gamma Ray!
[Out of the curtains comes Gamma Ray, now walking down the aisle, sporting an odd looking referee shirt. The crowd yells insults and throws empty drink cups at him]
PA: Well, that throws your “no referee would fall for it” plan right out the window, Jackie!
JT: Oh, look at that pathetic fool! He's not even wearing an official KEW referee shirt!
PA: Will you stop whining Jackie?? Do you hear me complain that Rook's too much of a coward to even show up for his match??
JT: He's not even medically cleared to be here, Phil! This whole mascarade is simply ridiculous!
PA: Shush! Gamma Ray grabbed a mic!
GR: Thank you denizen Danny! It's obvious this crowd doesn't deserve such a wonderful extravaganza! Ring the bell!
[Only the jeers from the crowd can be heard.]
GR: Well. Err... “Ding! Ding!” heh! Heh! Tell me, denizen Daniels. Did you see your oponent?
JT: Oh, for crying out loud, he's in the hospital!
DD: Yes. Yes I did. He was here a moment ago, and then ran back up the aisle like a coward!
GR: I saw the exact same thing!
PA: Me too! I saw Rook run away!
GR: Well, I have no choice but to count him out, then... as I'm calling this one right down the middle! So... One! Two! Three...
PA: Brilliant, Jackie! Absolute genius!!
PA: Rook isn't forfeitting, he's being counted out! So, in the KEW records, he'll be considered on the active roster!! Gamma Ray really is getting cleared to compete tonight!
JT: But this match can't be legitimate... it just can't!
GR: ... Ten! Eleven! Twelve...
DD: I'm gonna win! I'm gonna win!!
GR: ... Fifteen! Sixteen, Sevent [Gamma Ray's count out is suddenly interrupted as the sound system blares out Rook's theme. And out runs Rook, sprinting to the ring!]
JT: YES!!! Rook is back!!
PA: What? But...
[Chaos breaks out in the ring. As Danny Daniels and Gamma Ray run around in panic like headless chickens, Rook slips in under the bottom rope, and dropckicks Daniels right on the sore ribs! The luchador's back on his feet in an instant, and runs in the rope, rebounding with great momentum in Gamma Ray's direction. As he nears his target, the small Californian jumps high, and lands on the superhero's shoulders, twists around, and lets himself fall towards the rope, still hooking Gamma Ray's neck with his legs, flipping him over the ropes and out of the ring with his rana.]
JT: Oh wow! That rana just sent Gamma Ray flying out of the ring, onto the concrete floor, and in a world of pain!
[Again, Rook is almost instantly back on his feet, and he rebounds off the ropes towards a bumbling Danny Daniels. Rook leaps into the air and delivers a spining wheel kick right on Daniels' ribs!]
JT: Look! Referee Morton's running to the ring! I guess this match was just approved by Commissioner White!
[As the referee makes his way to the squared circle, Rook irish-whips his opponent into the corner, where Daniels lands with a thud, and runs towards him, leaping off into a corner body press!]
PA: Oh no! Our hero's ribs are really taking a beating!
[Crippled with pain, Daniels stumbles backwards, and Rook rolls him up in a small package. The ref drops to his knees, and starts the count...
PA: That was a fast count!
JT: Fast count or not, Daniels' losing streak still lingers, and Rook's back!!
PA: Well... the match doesn't even count!!
JT: If Referee Morton counted to three, the match stands, Phil!
[The bell rings, and Rook's hand is raised, but he wasted no time in celebrations. He heads to the ropes, looking for Gamma Ray.]
JT: Hold on... Gamma Ray was right there, sprawled on the concrete floor! Where is he?
PA: A benefit of having super-powers, right Jackie?
JT: Nonsense! I bet he fled through the crowd like a gutless coward!
PA: Now you're just being silly, Jackie, Gamm... wait. What's this? Oh! Heh! Heh! This show might turn out good after all!
PA: I just got word from the Commissioner, Jackie. Later tonight, we'll see Rook taking on Gamma Ray! The rematch is on, and it's on tonight! Rook's gonna pay for what he just did, I can smell it in the air!
JT: Try bathing more often.
[Cue up the music, "Born To Raise Hell" by Motorhead & Ice-T playing over the clips of action and then we dissolve into the credits...
KEW PRESENTS _THE LION'S DEN -- SEPTEMBER 26TH, 2005 -- KOHL CENTER -- MADISON, WI_
...a slow dissolve through the graphics as we are bombarded with a sea of collegiate red and white throughout the already cheering University of Wisconsin crowd. Let's take it to the trusty KEW commentators, Jackie Trainor and Phil Anderson.]
JT: GOOD EVENING MADISON!! What a wild way to start off the Lion's Den, eh Phil?
PA: Bah. Pawn just took advantage an obviously horribly injured Danny Daniels! What a cheap way to get a win!
JT: Like Daniels and Gamma Ray were gonna do? Rook is back and that means later tonight Gamma Ray has to give him his rematch! Also tonight, more stars are looking to make their home in KEW as we see the debuts of Franky the Lunatic, the Oni and "Greatness Personified" Joshua Black!
PA: I'm not too keen on the influx of nutcases and boogeymen, but you can't go wrong with a guy who isn't afraid to flaunt his skills. Just like what Legion is gonna do to those idiot Firewalkers in the main event tonight!
JT: I think you're in for a surprise there, Phil. The Firewalkers aren't to be taken lightly, something that both Legion and Degeneration Next seem to keep doing. Speaking of D-Next, they'll be starting things off agains El Lobo Loco and "Fast" Freddie Sanchez in just a few moments.
[The camera focuses on the Brown Eyed Slayer. She seems to be very happy at the moment.]
BES: Hi guys. Betcha missed me, huh? Well, I'm back. Me and Grim Jim have a match against El Pollo Loco and Flasher Freddy Sanchez tonight. Or, as we call it, a Shake 'n' Bake Special. Hope you enjoy it. See ya!
[Cut back to Phil and Jackie.]
PA: She can give me a Moondance anytime!
JT: Even with Grim Jim as a chaperone?
[Pause...as Phil contemplates the potentially ugly outcome.]
PA: [nodding] It'd be worth it.
EL LOBO LOCO & "FAST" FREDDIE SANCHEZ
written by KW
[With ELL and Sanchez ready to go at ringside, "For Those About To Rock" hits the PA, calling out the tandem of Grim Jim and the Brown Eyed Slayer. The Wisconsin crowd booing all around them, Degeneration Next discuss strategy all the way to the ring. A grinning Grim Jim starts off and quickly starts to overpower Sanchez,
backing him into the corner. There, Grim Jim drives his shoulder into Sanchez's breadbasket and once he falls, he stomps repeatedly until the referee forces the break. Grim Jim continues to thoroughly dominate Sanchez for much of the begining of the match. He makes the tag to BES and she continues his work.]
JT: Crawford was certainly working over Freddie Sanchez's back and the Brown Eyed Slayer looks to be following that same trend.
PA: Beauty AND Brains! That's two things she's got over her partner at least.
[BES shows no fear in fighting Sanchez. In fact she was just as dominate in facing the poor dumb jobber as her tag team partner was. She continues to work over Sanchez's back, but adds her fair share of aerial maneuvering to the mix. Somehow amidst all the high flying chaos, Sanchez manages to escape and tag out to his partner, El Lobo Loco. ELL comes in ready to go but he flinches as BES lets out a loud growl at her. BES uses that momentary lapse in concentration and comes barreling down on the hapless luchador. She switches styles, using more of a mat based attack instead of the aerial moves she was using against Sanchez just moments ago. BES refuses to let up as ELL is run rought shot. BES backs off and allows El Lobo Loco to tag out to Sanchez. Sanchez comes charging full steam ahead but BES makes quick work of him. After several more minutes of domination, the Slayer makes the tag to Grim Jim. He comes in as she nails Sanchez with a back brain kick. Before Freddie can even think about hitting the mat, Grim Jim steps in, catches him and then nails Sanchez with the Loyaliser. As if there was any doubt, Degeneration Next takes the one, two, three, much to the jeering dismay of the audience.]
PA: Guess Freddie wasn't so "fast" after all.
JT: Indeed. No doubt making such quick work of Sanchez and El Lobo Loco was meant as a message to both Legion AND the Firewalkers!
PA: Yeah. "Send Zoloft".
NIKKI THE CAT
written by DeWolfe
["Eye" by the Smashing Pumpkins begins to play, and the crowd opens up with respectably loud cheers as the KEW's only Elf Maiden, Akiruu Belathiel walks down to the ring. Already waiting for her there is the woman who snagged a surprising pinfall victory over her two shows ago, Nikki the Cat.]
JT: We've got a big rematch coming up, and Phil, you can bet that Akiruu Belathiel wants to even the score after taking something of an upset loss against the Cat.
PA: I can bet? Okay, I'll take some of your action. Give me a c-note on the elf chick, and another fifty on the over for suplexes.
JT: Phil, that's not what I meant. And do you really think we're going to see seven different types of suplexes in this match? I would take the under.
PA: Well I… wait a second, what the heck is this?
[Phil, along with most in attendance, has their attention distracted from the ring. The two ladies are about to lock up and start the match, but they too lose focus as the lights in the arena dim, and a single spotlight winds it's way towards the top of the aisle. A blast of trumpet fanfare can be heard from somewhere out of sight, and it is quickly followed up by the melodious voice of a trained announcer, one we have heard twice already on past episodes of War Cries. The voice-over man speaks…]
VO: Ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages and children at heart, please direct your attention to the top of the aisle. For there you will see a sight you will not want to miss. There, you will need your full attention, as you will want to describe this moment to your grandchildren some day.
Ladies, please take this moment to prepare for the intense feelings of sexual attraction you are about to feel. Try to remain true to your current boyfriends or spouses, despite their obvious inadequacies.
Could everyone please join in a respectful and reverent moment of silence for the KEW premiere of the biggest star in the world today…
"MR. BOLLYWOOD", RAVI KAPOOR!
[Some people do remain silent, although this seems to be more a shocked than a "reverent" reaction, while most boo the obnoxious young Indian as he walks out into the aisle, a wide smile on his face.
Meanwhile, back in the ring, Akiruu decides to start the match and ignore this interruption, but she does it fairly. Belathiel taps Nikki on the shoulder, and the Cat turns around, to see that a test of strength has been offered. She quickly accepts, and backs Nikki towards the corner due to her weight and strength advantage. Once Nikki is back in the corner, the referee calls for – and receives – a clean break. Nikki seems a bit annoyed at having been overpowered, though, and runs out of the corner towards Akiruu, only to receive a hiptoss for her troubles!]
JT: Akiruu Belathiel taking the early advantage here…
PA: …yes, but the real story is Ravi Kapoor. He's slowly been making his way down the aisle this whole time, and he has such style, such class! What an entrance!
JT: What a jerk. What does he want?
PA: Well, judging by the fact that he just sat down next to me, I'd assume he wants to do some guest commentary.
[Jackie sighs loudly, as obviously she doesn't want or need any help calling the match. As for that match, Nikki got up fairly quickly from the hip toss, only to run straight into a standing dropkick! Down she went again, and Akiruu tried to follow up with an elbowdrop, but The Cat rolled out of the way at the last second. She then gets up a second ahead of Akiruu, and nails her with a stiff shot to the face. This is playing into the hands of the brawler, however, as Belathiel rocks her with an even stiffer shot, and then takes control by shooting her to the ropes with an Irish whip. On the first go around, Akiruu misses a clothesline, and then on the second she puts down her head for a back body drop. She's telegraphed it, though…]
JT: Sunset flip! 1… 2… and oh my, we almost had another upset there!
RK: I'm upset too, Jackie. It's upsetting to me that these two lovely ladies think they need to fight over my attention. Look, I know I really am that sexy, and totally worth it, but still… Somebody ought to tell them that there's plenty of Ravi to go around.
JT: (With her voice dripping sarcasm.) I don't think they're fighting over you, Mr. Kapoor.
RK: Ah, I see how this is going to be. You're jealous. Look, you can get in on this order too, honey. This curry's plenty spicy for all three of you.
[Akiruu is up right away, angry at the near fall, and she just bowls The Cat over with a huge clothesline! Nikki tries to get up quickly and charge her opponent, but this time eats a huge shoulder tackle for her troubles. With some of the early feistiness now out of The Cat, Akiruu is free to set up some power-based offense. She starts with a simple scoop slam, and then covers but is only able to get 1. The next time, she picks Nikki up and grabs her in a side headlock before hooking a leg for a snap suplex. Another quick cover, and this one is made somewhat more convincingly.
No! Kickout by Nikki!]
PA: Nikki will need to find some way to counter this power advantage.
JT: I agree, Phil, and I think she needs to...
RK: (interrupting) Phil, my friend, you can speak directly to me. We're both colleagues in this entertainment business. There's no need to speak to my groupie.
(to Jackie) If you don't pipe down and mind your place, I might not let you have a copy of my room key.
JT: Groupie?!!? Room key?!!? I'm your "groupie"?!!?
RK: Yes, try and keep up with the men, sweetness. If you want to sit out here at the grown-up table, you have to pay attention.
[Back in the ring, where we can almost see in the background the smoke shooting out of Jackie's ears. Anyway, on with the match. Akiruu stays on offense, waiting for Nikki to get back up and then retaining control with a couple of forearm shots that stun the smaller woman. She then whips her to the ropes, and on her return executes a wicked tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, leaving The Cat crawling on the mat in agony. The move was so successful that she decides to go for it again, sending Nikki to the ropes once more. At first, it seems to be working again. However…]
JT: My goodness, reversal into a flying headscissors takedown!
PA: Nikki the Cat will not go down easily tonight!
JT (interrupting) DON'T FINISH THAT THOUGHT!
RK: (smirking) I wouldn't dream of it, sunshine.
[Although her back still hurts a bit, as evidenced by a momentary wince, Nikki sees an opportunity to take the momentum and is not going to waste it. She runs over to where a shocked Akiruu is getting back up, only to blast her with a running enzuigiri! She follows up immediately by heading up to the top rope in two athletic bounds, hopping first to the second turnbuckle and then climbing all the way up. The crowd applauds for the athletic display, but Nikki just quickly turns around and comes flying off the top with an elbowdrop… that finds its mark! Now it's Nikki's turn to try for a pin…
3… NO! Shoulder up!]
JT: Another near fall! Both women have come oh so close to putting things away!
RK: They're all falling, darling, and who can blame them. Falling in love with the perfect specimen of man, the finest expression of the Y chromosome, the Indian Adonis sitting right here.
JT: Do you ever eat, or are you so full of yourself that there's no need to put anything else in there?
RK: Jackie, Jackie, Jackie. Playing hard to get will not work on me. I mean, it's a novel approach, but still…
PA: I'm astonished to be the one saying this, but can we pay attention to the match?
[Indeed we can, Phil. Nikki is incredulous that she didn't just get a three count, and she takes a second to question the ref about it. She doesn't press the point, however, and instead goes back onto the offense, stomping the ribs of Akiruu twice to maintain her advantage, and then following with a knee to the affected area to really cause some discomfort. She then picked up Akiruu, only to slap her into an abdominal stretch so as to really pull on the muscle she'd just been trying to knot up. At first, Belathiel has no response but to try and gut out the pain, as Nikki continues to apply pressure. However, the crowd starts to get concerned about Akiruu's plight, and sends her moral support in the form of clapping and cheering. Drawing energy from the crowd's response, we can see Akiruu shaking, trying to fight off the hold… before she manages to turn and hiptoss Nikki over the top rope!
BUT… Nikki lands on the apron, unbeknownst to Akiruu!]
JT: Akiruu thinks she has control of the match, but Nikki is still on her feet!
[Indeed she is, but only briefly, before she jumps up to the top rope and springboards off, looking for a high cross body block. Akiruu, who had turned away to try and walk off her injury, turns back just in time to see Nikki flying at her. The cross body hits, although Akiruu sort of catches her with her arms, and the two women go down, with Nikki on top.
Until, that is, Akiruu goes with the momentum, and manages to roll over into a pin attempt.
JT: Akiruu Belathiel has done it! She's got her win back and her pride back!
RK: If she plays her cards right and comes back to the hotel with me, she'll end up getting her groove back as well.
PA: That's a really terrible movie reference, but I applaud your efforts to try and find some new, uh, "friends".
RK: Should be fun. I've never been with an Elvish chick before. Finnish, once, but not Elvish.
JT: AHEM! How is this relevant?
[In the ring, Akiruu has her hand raised by the ref, and is quick to offer a handshake to her fallen opponent. Nikki, after a moment of hesitation, accepts. "Eye" begins to play again, as the two competitors part ways, and Akiruu takes a moment to celebrate her win with some fans at ringside. Meanwhile, at ringside Ravi has removed his headset, and is about to take his leave.]
PA: It was a pleasure to have you out here, Ravi. Come back any time.
JT: And let me know ahead of time if you're coming, I'll be sure to bring my pepper spray next time.
RK: It was an honour. Well, for you guys, of course. You might want to write this date down on your calendar. Fifty years from now, people will want to know the exact day and time when you had your first brush with the Superstar of the Sub-Continent, the Sultan of Sexy. People will ask what I was like. I won't mind if you embellish a bit.
JT: I'm sure you won't.
FRANKY THE LUNATIC
TOBIAS CHAPEL SMITH
written Dr Pepper
MC: This next contest is for one fall! First, from Perth,Nevada, weighing in at 310 pounds and standing 6 foot 8, it's Tobias Chapel Smith!
[Tobias Chapel Smith strides down the ramp in his usual ripped jeans and sleeveless black tshirt. His hands are heavily wrapped in white tape, which sharply contrasts with his dark tan complexion..]
PA: Billy Jack!
PA: Another Indian halfbreed who dressed like that and beat up people. Sheesh, doesn't anyone watch the classics anymore?
MC: And his opponent, He's 6 foot 4 and weighs 255 pounds, hailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, he's known as Franky The Lunatic!
[Franky The Lunatic. comes out in plain black briefs. "Chop Suey" by System of a Down begins to play, but cuts off as he heads down the ramp at a dead run. The camera pans over to see a sign that says "KEW is my group therapy". Franky enters the ring. He and Tobias lock gazes. Neither offers to shake hands.]
PA: This should be good, both wrestlers are big and brutal.
JT: Tobias Chapel Smith is already a major force here in KEW. This is Franky's opportunity to show he can run with the big dogs.
PA: Curtis O'Brien is the referee for this match. He'll give these men plenty of room.
[(Ding! Ding!) The men rush towards each other. Franky goes for a collar and elbow, but Tobias knocks him back with a shoulder block. Tobias charges, apparently going for a running elbow smash. But Franky dodges and takes the bigger man down with a drop toe hold. Tobias pulls free. Franky gets him in a headlock. Franky gives Tobias several punches to the forehead. Heel pop!]
JT: Cheap shot much?
PA: Franky calls it dickery, it's part of his style.
[Tobias lifts Franky up and attempts a side slam. Franky twists out, avoiding the impact. Tobias stomps him as he tries to stand.]
[Franky rolls over and kicks at Tobias's ankle, which gives him the second he needs to get to his feet. Tobias grabs him. Franky bites Tobias in the nose. Tobias drops Franky but then moves in with a heart punch. Franky avoids the full force of the blow by stumbling backward. Tobias throws a knee. Franky is knocked into the corner. Snake eyes by Tobias. Heel Pop!]
JT: Referee Curtis O'Brien is giving Tobias a warning. He may be a little lax as referees go, but he's very clear on the limits.
PA: Franky took advantage of the distraction to get out of the corner.
[Franky moves in with punches. Tobias responds in kind. They trade several blows, then Tobias suddenly headbutts Franky in the nose. Franky reels back. Tobias climbs the ropes.]
JT: What does he think he's doing?
PA: Believe or not, a plancha.
JT: This I've got to see!
[Tobias launches himself. But Franky intercepts him into a powerslam! Franky pulls Tobias back up and drags his face against the rope.]
PA: Is it me, or does Tobias seem a little off his game today.
JT: Maybe he's saving his strength for later.
[Franky pulls Tobias up again and hits a brainbuster backbreaker. Tobias spasms on the mat in agony. Blood begins trickling from Franky's nose]
JT: I think you're right, Tobias seems to be running out of steam, I thought he had more endurance than that.
PA: Probably got some bad meat in his rattlesnake taco.
[As Tobias struggles to his feet, Franky clips him behind the knee, then puts a half nelson on his stumbling opponent. Make that a half nelson backbreaker. Brief violent pop! Franky drags Tobias over and begins choking him against the middle rope. Referee Curtis O'Brien pulls him off.]
[The two men grapple and roll out of the ring. They stumble against the safety rail, gouging and kicking. Tobias rams Franky's forehead into the steel. Franky returns the favor. Tobias spins Franky around and kidney punches him into the rail. Franky scores a low blow with a mule kick. Tobias is doubled over from the kick. Franky takes the opportunity to slap his face, then stomps on his fingers. The crowd begins to boo heavily as several cups fly at Franky. One hits his head, spilling ice and liquid
over his face. He ignores it as he ignores the blood still flowing from his nose, and climbs back into the ring. Referee Curtis O'Brien is counting.
O'Brien: 5! 6! 7!
Tobias suddenly reaches over the barrier and grabs a chair, incidently spilling a fan's nachos. He rushes back to the ring as the remains of the nachos rain down behind him.
Tobias smashes the chair into Franky's face. O'Brien yanks the chair away and yells in his face. O'Brien picks up his microphone. More cups, bottles, rolls of soggy toilet paper, and other missles fly into the ring. Franky, wobbly but still on his feet, grabs the mike. Blood is now dripping from his chin.]
Franky: Don't you dare!
[O'Brien looks at him, then shrugs and steps back.]
Franky: It's not that easy, Tobias! You don't get to hide behind a disqualification to preserve your phony badass reputation! You don't get to leave until I'm done with you!
[With a roar, Tobias rushes in wildly with a flying forearm. Franky easily doges and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He tosses Tobias to the ground and springs to his feet. Tobias tries to stand but can't.]
JT: All those backbreakers are taking their toll. Tobias can't make his legs work with bruised lower vertebrae pinching the nerve. It's all over!
[Franky pulls the limp Tobias into a sitting position and applies the crossface fishhook. Tobias weakly taps out. Franky grins and tightens the hold. O'Brien yells at him until he finally lets go.]
MC: Your winner is-- Franky The Lunatic!
JT: A big debut win for Franky the Lunatic, and...
PA: What's he doing?
[Franky picks up the mike again and slides outside the ring, knocking down a paramedic coming to check on Tobias. He grabs a nearby chair andflings it into the ring.]
Franky: [breathing heavily] Tobias... Chapel... Smith!
[He flings another chair into the ring.]
Franky: I put you over huge, brother! I put you over as the man to beat in KEW! And _this_ is the f[bleep]ing _competition_ that I get around here? What in God's name is wrong with you? Did somebody slice off your sack? Did you suddenly get stricken with some debilitating illness or disease in which you are suddenly a f[bleep]ing _mongoloid_?
[More chairs into the ring. Franky grabs a ring bell and tosses that in. Anything he can get his hands on, it's going in the ring. There are now two paramedics with a stretcher standing by the ring. They don't seem eager to interrupt him.]
PA: This guy's going nuts!
JT: What the hell?
Franky: Well I'm going to put you out of your misery, big man! I'm going to make sure you never step foot in this pisshole promotion ever again, because I just walked all the f[bleep] over you, and that means you're my b[bleep]. Got it?
[Franky slides into the ring and grabs a chair.]
JT: Smith is already down and out! Come on now!
JT: Chair shot!
Franky: That feel good, Smith? Huh?
[For the first time, Franky seems to become aware of his nosebleed. He reaches down and rips Tobias's shirt from his body, and blows his nose on it. Tobias groans and starts to stir.]
Franky: How about that?
[Referee Curtis O'Brien steps in, trying to get Franky to stop.]
Franky: Who the f[bleep] do you think _you_ are?
JT: OH! HE JUST PUNCHED AN OFFICIAL!
PA: That's a good way to get yourself fired.
JT: And Franky is going to go nuts on Smith with that chair!
JT: CHAIRSHOTS TO THE BACK!
[Franky grabs the ring bell and rests it beneath Smith's head. He then raises the chair high into the air, a big smirk on his face. He leans back against the ropes, mic in hand.]
Franky: And as they say, you f[bleep]ing piss stain, this is where you say bye-bye. And then when you're unconscious or in a coma or whatever, I'm gonna poke you in the f[bleep]ing eye just for the hell of it, because that'll be funny.
JT: Don't do it, Franky!
[Frank raises the chair...]
JT: Smith is helpless!
[An asian looking man with shoulder length black and white dreadlocks slips over the crowd barrier, sliding into the ring.]
PA: Who the f*** is that?
JT: You can't say that!
PA: Franky's influence!
[Spotting the man, Franky turns to him, swinging a chair at his head. The crowd pops loudly as the new guy ducks the chairshot, swooping down and grabbing a chair of his own off the mat...]
PA: Who the hell is this guy?
JT: I think I know this man... It looks like new KEW signee "Prototype" Shigeru Kota...
[Kota spins, raising the chair and smashing it with the full force of his bodyweight directly into Franky's forehead.]
PA: That's going to leave a mark.
JT: Shigeru Kota fighting fire with fire here!
[Franky drops to the mat, groggily rolling out of the ring and glaring at Kota - a surprised, but slightly amused look on his face.]
JT: I doubt we've heard the last of this.
[Franky mouths off as Kota lunges forwards, throwing the chair at him -Franky ducks away, slowly moving up the entrance ramp.]
PA: Why's Kota helping Smith anyway?
[Moving out of the ring and following Franky up the ramp, Kota doesn't even glance at Tobias Chapel Smith.]
JT: I doubt that was why he was here.
[The paramedics are in the ring now. Tobias Chapel Smith is as limp as spaghetti as they strap him onto the stretcher.]
JT: That...was ugly.
PA: Look, we hit the mat with a little Oxy bleach and it'll be good as new! Gets the blood stains right out!
JT: (shaking her head) You worry me, Phil...you worry me a lot...
(Continued in Part 2)