Folks, this is a crazy crazy oncard deal I found on the last WWA Show ever. It's got more charles stuff so of course, I feel compelled to post it. Enjoy!

[Fortunately, we cut away from Sammy and his talk of
plastic surgery disasters to a busy highway where a
car in the shape of a clown’s head is careening out of
control.]

BUBBLES: “LET GO OF THE WHEEL YOU SCRUFFY LITTLE
URCHIN!”

KRACKERJAK: “NEVER! I’LL KILL US BOTH!”

[We see inside the car where the former founder of
Team Bastard and former YOBFBOY member, KrackerJak,
has escaped his bonds and is struggling with the
former International Champion, former co-commissioner
and former YOBFBOY member, Bubbles, for control of the
steering wheel.]

BUBBLES: “FINE BY ME! I DON’T WANT TO LIVE IF I CAN’T
WALK!”

KJ: “Wait a minute, you were walking when you
kidnapped me and stufffed me into this car half an
hour ago! What happened to your wheelchair?”

BUBBLES: “Hey! I don’t need to explain my continuity
to you!”

KJ: “Well you’ve got to explain it to someone,
otherwise you’re as bad as Bartlett declaring himself
face out of the blue.”

BUBBLES: “He’s a face now? Ah, that must explain the
monumental fanfare he gets for his entrance despite
his total lack of input for War of the Words.”

KJ: “I’d assume so, that and he’s a –ARRRRRRRGH!”

[While both men were bickering, the Bubbles-a-go-go-,
Bubbles’ uniquely clownish vehicle, had veered off the
road and headed into a shopping centre carpark.
KrackerJak’s high-pitched (yet still quite manly)
scream of terror returns Bubbles’ attention to the
road but too late- the car smashes through the glass
windows of the shopping complex and plows straight
into a giant Christmas tree with collapses on the
vehicle]

BUBBLES: [from underneath the wreckage] “Oh no! I
can’t feel my legs! I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS! Oh, wait, my
seatbelt is just too tight…”

[Meanwhile, KrackerJak crawls out of the carnage and
scampers off.]

BUBBLES: [still invisible under the debris] “Hmm… Now
if I can just chew through this seatbelt…”

[Suddenly, a great rumbling fills the courtyard as
KrackerJak rounds the corner in an almightily big
ride-on lawn mower! The damn thing’s the size of a
combine harvester and he’s driving it straight towards
the trapped Bubbles!]

KJ: “AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

BUBBLES: “Oh no!”

[Bubbles begins to frantically chew on the seat belt
to no avail as the giant lawn mower draws closer…]

BUBBA: “You idiot! Just press the button!”

[Bubbles wriggles around in the mangled car to see his
longtime manager, the hairy little cross-dressing
midget named Bubba, sitting in the back seat. Bubba is
wearing a sensual nightgown in eggshell blue and is
rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.]

BUBBLES: “Bubba! What are you doing here?”

BUBBA: “I was asleep in the back of the car. What’s
going on?”

BUBBLES: “GASP! An idea!”

[With that, Bubbles grabs Bubba and hurls him at the
oncoming KrackerJak, knocking him from the helm of the
mower!]

KJ: “Gads! A midget!”

[The mower careens out of control, decimating a
security guard who happened to wander over!]

SECURITY GUARD: “Urrrgh… One… day… to… retirement…
eerrrrgh…”

[Meanwhile, KrackerJak stuffs Bubba into a rubbish
bin, giggling at the little man’s little legs waving
out of the top of it.]

BUBBLES: “GOTCHA!”

[Bubbles, newly freed from the crumpled car, grabs
KrackerJak by the hair and throws him into Toys ‘R’
Us. Bubbles follows through but is momentarily stunned
by the surreal, ‘Saved by the Bell’-esque colour
scheme of the store. He’s so preoccupied the he never
sees the tiny foam frisbee coming until it boinks off
his head.]

BUBBLES: “Hey!”

[About ten feet away, KrackerJak holds that
frisbee-throwing Action Man (who is actually named
Alex Mann- go figure!) and is flicking the figure’s
arm for all it’s worth.]

BUBBLES: “I’ll learn you!”

[Bubbles grabs a G.I.Joe tank and begins to
frantically load every missle into the thing as tiny
frisbees bounce harmlessly off his body.]

BUBBLES: “HA!”

[Bubbles rests the tank on his knee and uses all ten
of his fingers to simultaneously fire off a barrage of
plastic missles, one of which hits KrackerJak right in
the eye!]

KJ: “Ow! Damn military toys inciting violence in the
impressionable!”

[Suddenly, the tank itself hits KrackerJak in the
head, knocking him into the video games section.
Bubbles follows him in and picks up a Sega Dreamcast
from the discount rack. WHAM! He belts KrackerJak over
the head with it… NOTHING! The Mad Bastard doesn’t
even react!]

KJ: “Aha! You fool! Nobody can sell a Dreamcast so why
should I?”

[With that, KrackerJak jumps onto Bubbles’ shoulders
and hurracanranas the bigger man into a mountain of
Britney Spears really bad new album (and I mean BAD by
Britney standards… With Bubbles stunned, KrackerJak
leaps onto one of those little fold-up scooters that
were in vogue about a year ago and races off. Bubbles
comes to shortly after and crams his heavy build into
one of those little pedal cars and heads off in
pursuit at about .3 miles per hour.

We cut to a gardening shop where KrackerJak is hunting
around for a weapon.]

KJ: “Need a weapon… Need a weapon. Hmm, let’s see.
It’s got to be both highly lethal, comical and
something that Raven hasn’t used on one of his many
‘stumble around the arena hitting the other guy with
something stupid’ matches… Uh… AHA!”

[KrackerJak picks up something we don’t quite get a
good look of as he hears Bubbles approaching. The Mad
Bastard quickly hides. We now see a Deliverance-like
scene with Bubbles slowly pedaling the miniature car
through the gardening shop with tall plants on both
sides of him. Suddenly, pointy little sprinkler heads
whistle through the air and rain down on his like
arrows!]

BUBBLES: “Oh no! Native Americans!”

[Tatanka suddenly steps out of the undergrowth in his
daft outfit and warpaint.]

TATANKA: “That’s right, it is I, Tatanka, I feel the
blood of the eagle and the spirit of the bear. You
know, I started the whole streak thing way before
Goldberg…”

BUBBLES: “Yeah, too bad nobody gave a crap!”

TATANKA: “Hey!”

BUBBLES: “And did you have to put on all that weight
after you turned heel?”

TATANKA: “Hey!”

BUBBLES: “And while we’re talking about 1994…”

[Suddenly, KrackerJak appears behind Bubbles and kicks
him square in the leg!]

KJ: [with a thick trail of spittle hanging from the
side of his mouth] “You see Bubbles? You’re SELFISH!
And that’s why I kicked you’re leg outta your… leg…”

[Both Bubbles and Tatanka give KrackerJak a funny
look.]

BUBBLES: “That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard!”

KJ: “Talk to the tree, fu#kbag!”

[With that, KrackerJak swings a bloody great plastic
Christmas tree at the Bubbly one, who cunningly ducks,
allowing it to plow into Tatanka’s face.]

TATANKA: “AIIIIEEEYIYIYIYIYIYI!”

[Tatanka crumples to the floor with a face full of
plastic pine needles and Bubbles kicks the Mad Bastard
square in the face, knocking him backwards into a
wheelbarrow. With Kracker groggy, Bubbles grabs the
wheelbarrow and propels it out of the gardening shop.

We cut to a car accessories store where former WWARD
graduates, Saxon and Big Daddy Superstar are debating
the merits of pretending to own sportscars on a
rookie’s wage. Suddenly, a wheelbarrow with a
bewildered looking hairy guy within smashes through
the window and lands on Saxon, killing him utterly and
bringing great joy into Larry Boyd’s life. Never one
to be outdone, Big Daddy Superstar promptly falls
over, killed stone dead by a severe case of Terminal
Crapness.]

KJ: “And not a moment too soon.”

[Bubbles suddenly charges into the store, flailing
around madly with a large inflatable Santa. Suddenly
the lights go out and evil laughter fills the air.]

“Aha, now you have fallen into my most evil and
cunning trap!”

[The lights come back on and -GASP!- it’s not Vyolynce
at all but Nathan’s inexplicably named Dante’s
Discipline of the ill-fated gothic stable, Eternal
Damnnation.]

DANTE: “Now you’re mine- UNDERSTAND, FOOLISH WHELPS?
MINE!”

KJ: “Firstly, why are you shouting? We’re right here
in front of you. Secondly, what the hell sort of name
is Dante’s Discipline?”

DANTE: “What do you mean?”

KJ: “Well, it just doesn’t make sense. It’s like me
calling myself ‘KrackerJak’s Rage’”

BUBBLES: “Yeah, or me calling myself ‘Bubbles’
undeniable appeal to the opposite sex.’”

DANTE: “Aw… Um… Shut up guys…”

[Suddenly, Vyolynce appears and breaks Dante’s arms
and legs with one of his poorly thought out and
impossible to execute trademark submission moves, thus
putting to rest two years of Chris’s resentment over
the whole ‘Eternal Damnation kicking the utter crap
out of Vyo’ incident.]

BUBBLES: “Take that, vaguely interesting alternate
character.”

KJ: [to Bubbles] “I knew you always resented him.”

BUBBLES: “Don’t get cushy with me, I’m not finished
with you yet!”

[Bubbles trashes away at KrackerJak with the
inflatable Santa to little or no effect, eventually
tiring himself long enough for the Mad Bastard to make
his escape. Bubbles, gasping and wheezing, stumbles
out of the auto-accessories store and looks about,
trying to spot his quarry.]

BUBBLES: [grabbing the nearest passer-by] “You! Which
way did KrackerJak go?”

AKIRA SHINJU: “VROOOOOOOM!!!”

BUBBLES: [confused] “What?”

AKIRA: “ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”

[Bubbles squints at the former Best of the Best
member.]

BUBBLES: “What the hell are you on about?”

AKIRA: “Leave me alone. I’ve got to fit at least 72
more of these noises into my flash to make sure I take
up at least half of WotWs with it.”

BUBBLES: “Fool! Quantity has nothing to do with how
good your flash is. Why do you think Haplo was so
crap? Churning out 50k of rubbish has no effect
whatsoever!”

AKIRA: “Hey, you have your methods and I have mine.
Now, if you’ll excuse me. VROOOOOOO-“

[Akira is cut off mid vrooom when Bubbles kicks him
square in the testicles, dropping him like a stone.]

AKIRA:
“Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh…”

[As Akira hits the floor, Bubbles sees his hairy foe
duck past a men’s wear store and into a Pawn shop.
Bubbles rushes after him, pausing for a second outside
the men’s wear store to look into the shop window.]

BUBBLES: “Oh, hullo Havoc!”

[The shop dummy in the window doesn’t reply.]

BUBBLES: “Hmph! Good to see that his charisma isn’t
slipping since his WWA days.”

[Bubbles heads into the Pawn shop and quickly comes to
the disappointing realisation that there are two ways
of spelling porn.]

BUBBLES: “Aw, not a mains-powered gyrating studded
dildo in sight…”

[Bubbles stealthily creeps past a small mountain of
Sega Saturns and VCD players, arming himself with a
waffle-iron.]

KJ: “BRIIIIIIITNEEEEEEY!!!”

[KrackerJak invokes the spirit of stolen gimmicks and
nails Bubbles with a blatantly plagerised Britney
Spear, knocking Bubbles into a stack of toasters.]

KJ: “BASTARD! I leave the WWA for one year and you let
F-ing Jimbo win the title!”

[KrackerJak smashes a microwave over Bubbles’ head and
plugs it in. As those familiar with the laws of
science know, this invariably causes all manner of
flashing lights and laser beams to fly all over the
place, one of which happens to hit Doc Blanchard
square in the face, exploding his head and spattering
his non-brains all over the walls!]

BUBBLES: [from inside the microwave] “Yeah, well this
is for helping Bedrock to ruin so many people’s
lives!”

[Bubbles grabs an electric egg-beater and stuffs it
down the front of KrackerJak’s trousers, causing
unspeakable pain and curtailing any immediate hopes of
fatherhood. The beleaguered clown removes his head
from the wreckage of the microwave, revealing his
makeup to be blackened and smeared. As he stumbles
around, searching for a weapon, he takes a moment to
inspect the second hand CD collection.]

BUBBLES: “Bah! Nothing but Ugly Kid Joe and Pavlov’s
Dog! Ooh! Ace of Base!”

[Suddenly, Bubbles hears a mechanical whirring and
turns around to see KrackerJak, bloodied and battered,
charging at him with a Hedge Trimmer!

Thinking quick, Bubbles snatches up a circular saw and
kicks it into action! The two men collide, locking
weapons. As spark fly from the clashing of metal, both
men snarl and spit blood upon their foe.]

KJ: “Kill you… I’ll…

BUBBLES: “Kill you…”

“HAAAAAAAAALT!”

[From seemingly out of nowhere emerges the former WWA
Champion JOBBERWOCKY, a gangly, 7' foot-tall black man
with red eyes ("eyes of flame") due to contact lenses,
along with his sidekick, the short, tubby Jobjob Bird.
Both men wear feathery bodysuits (Jobberwocky's is
dark purple, the Jobjob Bird's is red) and orange
boots made to resemble talons. The Jobjob Bird also
wears the baby-blue Blanket of Omnipotence, a rare
artifact from The Swamp, around his neck like a cape.
Both men have painted their large, hawkish noses
orange as to resemble beaks. Both are also bald.
Jobberwocky quickly uses his vorpal blade to swat the
hedge-trimmers out of his former stablemates' hands.]

JOBBERWOCKY: "Put away those hustlin' trimmers, my
friends!"

BUBBLES: (confused, having been whacked on the head
too many times) "That’s a hedge-trimmer, Wocky."

JOBBERWOCKY: (puzzled) "Then what the hell is a
hustlin' trimmer?"

JOBJOB BIRD: "I think it's a dog that hunts raccoons
or something like that."

JOBBERWOCKY: (looking aghast at Bubbles and KJ) "You
two have been fighting with the Coondogs? Shame on
you for beating on the elderly! They were a great
team in their era, but now--"

JOBJOB BIRD: (interrupting) "Uh, I think you're
thinking of the Moondogs, Jobberwocky."

JOBBERWOCKY: (shaking his head) "Whatever. Anyway,
I cannot believe what I'm seeing here! KrackerJak and
Bubbles, my two best friends--"

JOBJOB BIRD: "Hey!"

JOBBERWOCKY: (ignoring his sidekick's resentful
objection) "--beating each other like this! Don't
you realize that by beating on each other, each of you
is in fact beating yourself like Vyolynce on Tigress'
playboy spread? Is this how you want the legacy of
the YOBFBOY era to stand in the archives of WWA
history?"

JOBJOB BIRD: "Actually, the YOBFBOY era was _before_
Egroups or Topica, so it isn't archived anyway."

JOBBERWOCKY: "Shut up, Jobjob Bird, I'm trying to
make a point! KrackerJak, do you remember when you
and I were scheduled to face each other? Yet you
refused to do so, for you would not let anyone force
you into fighting a friend. Yet is that not what
you're doing right now? Come on, KrackerJak. You've
proved to be a truly good friend. Look at how you
saved the life of Michael Malachi, Heather Lowry's
husband, despite your own feelings for her. Look at
how you never got angry at the Job-Job Bird and myself
for doing our business on your car... of course, I
think you were just happy to finally _have_ a car,
having spent all your Rookie days on a bus."

JOBJOB BIRD: "Yeah, who the hell gave Big Daddy
Superstar Hutch Hustler and Saxon expensive sports
cars when they signed on to the frickin' Rookie
Division, anyway?"

JOBBERWOCKY: "It is a mystery that may never be
solved, Jobjob Bird."

JOBJOB BIRD: (smirking) "Like the true identity of
Vyolynce?"

JOBBERWOCKY: "Yes, exactly. But anyway, before Edge
comes out and accuses me of being stuck in 1999,
which, incidentally, I most certainly am, I must also
remind you, KrackerJak, of how you forgave Madeleine
Marquis despite all that she had done to you. And
look at your relationship with Bedrock; truly, you
tried your best to turn him around, and when it seemed
impossible, you didn't roll over and submit to his
will. KrackerJak, I have always admired, respected,
and occasionally lusted insatiably for you, but the KJ
I know would not be fighting his best friend."

[Jobberwocky turns to Bubbles.]

JOBBERWOCKY: "Just look at him. He's an idiot, and
we all know it. (Jobberwocky knocks on Bubbles' head,
bringing about a "hollow wood" sound). Should this
man be brutalized simply because he has the rough
equivalent of a sea turtle's brain rolling about in
his skull? Sure, he became a little corrupt during
his short reign as co-commissioner or president or
whatever he was, but who hasn't? Such positions
corrupted Tori Brooks, Jose Garces, and Leviathan as
well! You can't expect Bubbles' feeble brain to
oppose the lust for power that has consumed so many
others!"

[KrackerJak looks regretful for attacking Bubbles and
landing him in a wheelchair, while Bubbles slowly
begins to remember his deeds as commissioner and is
not feeling especially proud of them.]

JOBBERWOCKY: "We simply cannot be fighting each like
this, my friends! Think of what our Lower Power,
Evelynn, would say!"

JOBJOB BIRD: "Well, to you, she'd probably say, 'you
filthy bird, get your talons off my--'"

JOBBERWOCKY: (interjecting quickly) "Uh, let's not
worry about what Evelynn would say. I wouldn't want
to put words in her mouth, anyway."

JOBJOB BIRD: "Yeah, you wouldn't want to put _words_
in her mouth. But I have no doubt you dream at night
of putting your--"

JOBBERWOCKY: (cutting him off, ignoring the Jobjob
Bird save an angry glance) "My point is, former
stablemates, that we must look back at the good times
for Ye Bubbly Feathery Bastards of Yore! Remember the
time we defeated the trio of Haplo, Akira Shinju, and
Crimestarter Jim? Remember how our stable always had
gold in it, whether it be KrackerJak's cruiserweight
title, Bubbles' International title, Evelynn's women's
title, or my WWA World Title? Those were truly the
glory days! And they were taken from us due to
politics... when that Linnenbringer guy took over as
the chief shareholder, it was determined that I could
no longer be champion for some reason, and that
Evelynn and KrackerJak's titles would be eliminated
altogether! YOBFBOY never got to realize its full
potential, my friends. And we have a right to be
bitter... and disappointed... and angry... (he starts
clenching his fists, his eyes growing angry)... and
miserable... and filled with MURDEROUS RAGE!!!"

[The Jobjob Bird quickly grabs the Vorpal Blade from
Wocky's hand, who doesn't seem to notice.]

JOBJOB BIRD: "Now now, Wocky. Take deep breaths.
Think pleasant thoughts."

JOBBERWOCKY: (slowly calming down, he seems to enter
a blissful reverie of "pleasant thoughts") "Ah, yeah,
that's the stuff."

KJ: (whispering to Bubbles) "What do you reckon he's
thinking about?"

BUBBLES: (whispering back) "I don't know. Well,
images of Akira fluffing BFB always seemed to amuse
him." (he shrugs)

[KrackerJak and Bubbles then look at each other with
shocked expressions, realizing that they just had a
small but cordial conversation for the first time in a
long while.]

[Meanwhile, the Jobjob Bird pulls a feather out of
Jobberwocky's suit, causing him to yelp in pain and
return mentally to the real world... well, as much as
Jobberwocky is EVER mentally in the real world.]

JOBBERWOCKY: "Hey, why'd you do that?"

JOBJOB BIRD: "I was going to tickle your nose with
it! It shouldn't hurt to have a feather plucked out
of your costume, though... unless it's actually grown
to be a part of you!"

JOBBERWOCKY: "Hmmm... a possibility. I have seemed
to have gained several truly avian characteristics
over the years. For example, it was certainly odd
when I laid that egg..."

JOBJOB BIRD: (slapping his palm to his forehead)
"Jobberwocky, I thought you were here to inspire and
reunite Bubbles and KrackerJak, not bore them to
tears! Oh, damn, look! You HAVE bored them to tears!
They're starting to cry!"

[Indeed, they're not only crying, but hugging!]

BUBBLES: "Oh, Wocky's right, KJ! I _was_ resentful
about having my title taken away, and I took it out on
you when I became co-commissioner!"

KJ: (through tears) "You idiot! It was Evelynn,
myself, and essentially Jobberwocky, too, who got our
titles stripped from us! You just got your butt
kicked by Haplo of all people!"

[Now recalling THAT little embarrassment, Bubbles
starts to cry even harder, snotting all over KJ's
shoulder.]

JOBBERWOCKY: (standing between the two, a gangly arm
around each) "Boys, I think Ye Bubbly Feathery
Bastards of Yore are back together again. (he then
grabs his vorpal blade back from the Jobjob Bird and
holds it up high, as if leading a charge) So now, let
us go forward and find our fourth member, Evelynn!"

BUBBLES: "Where are we going to take her?"

JOBBERWOCKY: "To our treehouse fortress in The Swamp,
of course, where I will pathetically beg her to make
feathery love to me!"

BUBBLES: (wrapping an arm around KrackerJak) "And
KrackerJak and I can tell old stories, like the time
we won the WWA Rookie Division titles."

KJ: "Bubbles, you goof. I won those titles with
Kraut, not--"

[KrackerJak is about to finish his sentence, but stops
as he sees the huge grin on Bubbles' painted face, a
look of (purely platonic) love in his eyes for his old
friend. He then glances at the Jobjob Bird, who
smiles and winks at him.]

KJ: "Yeah, that was you and me, Bubbles. Together
forever."

BUBBLES: (squeezing KrackerJak so hard that his eyes
look to be on the verge of popping out, sort of like
that madwoman on the "Love Cruise" ads) "YES!
Together FOREVER!"

JOBBERWOCKY: "Now let us go find Evelynn!"

JOBJOB BIRD: "How do we know where she is?"

JOBBERWOCKY: "Don't worry. I have some hustlin'
trimmers to track her down."

[And with that, the four reunited friends skip away
arm-in-arm on a mysterious yellow brick road as the
camera cuts back to Rich and Sammy)

MANNING: “Not only do we see the return of Alaric
Griffon and Noah Prejudice but we just saw KrackerJak,
Bubbles, the JobJob Bird and the former WWA
Heavyweight Champion, Jobberwocky! This has been a
classic night of returns here in the WWA and this
night is going to go down as a big night in the WWA!”

KNIGHT: “Are you having a brain fart? Bubbles was a
former WWA Champion, wasn’t he?”

MANNING: “I believe he was but I just forgot about
it!”

KNIGHT: “Well, don’t let that ever happen again!”