[ The camera fades in and you see "Simply Sadistic" Kevin McCabe just standing in his cell. Kevin is wearing a torn black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans and has that leather strap in his hand. "Simply Sadistic" does not look happy as he begins to speak... ]
McCabe: "Total Drama Wrestling ... I joined TDW to hurt people and I thought this would be my big opportunity to show that I could make it in the wrestling business. But take a look at the first three people who have won the challenges. American Freebear won the first challenge with a baseball bat and a ham. The guy should go on The Subway Diet and learn the English language. Then Gabby Riopaah won the War Games by making some jobber quiet without laying a finger on him. Are you fucking kidding me? She never even touched him and yet she gets rewarded with a heater. And just recently Jack Keening won King of the Mountain by doing absolutely nothing. The guy is afraid of his own shadow. Seriously how can you call any of them winners..."
[ McCabe begins to walk out of his prison cell and starts heading down towards the kitchen. ]
McCabe: "It is time to make a statement. And it starts tonight. We get to decided who is the first person voted out of TDW. Who should it be..."
[ A slight pause ... ]
McCabe: "So many people I can choose from. Let's see we have American Freebear ... If you get in my way one more time in any of these challenges and I am gonna make sure it is the last fucking thing you ever do in your career. We also have the King of the Mountain winner ... Keening the only reason you are here is because of your last name. Then we have the ever so bright Simon O'Neal how fucking stupid can you be? You align yourself with someone who cost you the crown."
[ McCabe seems to have reached the kitchen area and grabs a piece of paper and writes a name down on it. ]
McCabe: "Who did I vote for? Let's just say I'll be glad when he is no longer in this competition because he is the biggest joke of them all ... One down ... Eight to go"
[ McCabe puts the name into the box and then waves bye bye to the camera with a sadistic smile on his face ... ]
[Cut to show the lobby in all it's chair-filled glory. Pan, focus and zoom in on the biggest, plushest chair in the room. Sitting there, golden crown atop his head, wielding a ring bell hammer like a scepter (the bell's in his lap) and bedecked in a tablecloth made to fit like a regal cape ... is Jack Keening. Jack looks one part out-of-touch, one part blissfully happy as he periodically gives his bell a gentle tap.]
[He chuckles quietly. This is, apparently, his version of a victory celebration. He perks up a little as Simon O'Neal enters the room.]
JK: Simon! I'm so glad you could make it to the coronation. I'm sure all my other subjects will be here momentarily.
SO: Subjects? [Looks around the room incredulously] Ah, so you're a 'King' now? Nice little coup, by the way.
JK: Oh, my good Archduke O'Neal, I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
SO: Gee, the 'accidental' dislodging just as I was about to win? Come on, Keening! Do you _really_ think I'd pull that if _you_ were about to win?
[We cut to another video of Simon O'Neal, seated on his cot in his cell, grey fedora hat and Ray-bans on. ]
SO: Dammit- I was the one who was going to take the win, even if I had to _accidentally_ knock out my allies in the process! I just wasn't expecting anyone with Keening Blood in him to pull that. I'm _not_ happy about this.
[And we cut back to the main scene.]
JK: Simon, I'm hurt. I was trying to pull you up so that you could claim the crown, but alas, your footing was not so sure as your mind is sharp. The fates intervened and placed me squarely on the throne. T'was this and nothing more that led to your own downfall.
[Yes, he's really talking like that. He's affecting a bad British accent and everything. Simon raises an eyebrow.]
SO: Did you get hit in your head during the match? Or as a child? Several times?
JK: But take heart, I'm sure that we shall yet, as a kingdom, win the day. Chances are slim to nil that you'll be eliminated on this day, and on the morrow mayhap you shall win your own immunity. On that day your king will be there to knight you himself...
SO: Sure thing, King Keening. Let's talk about the vote. We need to split up the biggest alliance in this game, other than our own...
[They continue to speak as the camera fades.]
[We now fade into the American Freebear, one and only flying ursine for his thoughts on the conclusion of TDW's third episode.]
[We'd like to thank the American Freebear for his short, concise opinion on the matter. Fade to black.]
"I ain't finished!!! I mean, it's one thing to lose, but it's even worse when you were *THIS* close to victory! I was right there 'till the end, like a bear with big furry paws swatting a bunch of bees out for his honey except with a baseball bat and crackin' skulls instead! You gotta believe that the American Freebear is the only bear that flies, but that Jack Keening was nothing but hot air... and he WAFTED up to the top!"
[Freebear's downright dejected. He buries his big bushy face inside the palms of his monstrous hands, unable to believe the ill fortunes that have plagued him so far.]
"Look, I understand that I haven't been as active as I once was and I promise to change all that! I'll maul my opponents twice as bloody, crush them twice as hard; I'll fly further, land like a meteor and break the neck of anyone stupid enough to get close to me!!!! Now I realize this isn't quite endearing me to the other inhabitants of this prison who'll be doing the voting in a few minutes, but what the Hell do you want??? I'M A BEAR!!!! THAT FLIES!!!"
[And with this fine point right there, we fade to black (for realz).]
[The camera fades in to see Simon O'Neal leaning against the wall of his cell, stroking his chin as he looks out down the hallway. He's wearing his Grey Fedora Hat and Ray-Bans, and seems lost in thought.]
SO: Things may be trickier than I initially thought...
Voice: Tell me about it.
[Simon and the camera turn to see Keisha Love, sitting on his bed. She's wearing a tank top and sweat pants, her legs crossed.]
KL: So, what are you thinking after that fiasco at the mountain?
SO: It's good that one of our little group got Invincibility. I know you wanted it... heck, I wanted it for myself. But that's fine. The key thing isn't that Jack Keening won invincibility. It's that no one _else_ won it. Which means they are all vulnerable. I suggest we take out a threat, right away.
[Keisha grins, rubbing her hands together.]
KL: And I think I know the _perfect_ target. Someone whose exit here would not only help cement our ascension to power but also rid this competition of one of its more annoying pests too.
SO: There's plenty of annoying pests around here. Which one in particular?
KL: Oh, there's a certain special someone. But I don't want to give too much away.
[She gestures towards the camera.]
KL: You know, nosy people and all. But I guarantee that, after this elimination, our alliance will be stronger than ever.
[Simon looks at the camera, looks at Keisha, nods, takes off his Grey Fedora, and places it over the camera lens. Fade to black.]
[We cut to an image of Suzie pacing in her cell. As she does so, we hear her voice-over, presumably from a taped confessional.]
SM (v/o): So, looks like Iím about to find out whether Iím the least popular kid in school again.
[The voice-over laughs nervously.]
SM (v/o): In terms of the voting, what makes the most sense is to get rid of the threats, both physically and socially. I think Iím low enough on both those radars to scoot by at least this round. And with Kevin on my side, we could sort of play judge, jury, and executioner.
[The camera cuts to a shot of Kevin McCabe sitting in his cell, staring intensely into nothing.]
SM (v/o): We actually havenít had a chance to meet yet. Since weíre trying to not make our alliance blatant, itís hard to find time in this prison environment. But Iím sure weíll figure something out. After all, I sure ainít planning on going home tonight.
[Fade back in on Jack sitting in his own cell. His crown and other accessories are sitting at his side, including his jacket and tie.]
JK: When you're a loser in life for long enough, you start to garner a deeper understanding of what must be avoided in order to win. If you're a slow man, stay away from the footrace. If you're a weak man, whatever combat you have had better not be face-to-face... Whatever your strengths are, don't reveal them. If possible, _create_ weaknesses where none exist...
[An unsavory smile crosses Jack's face; a slash full of white teeth that hints at a sinister bent.]
JK: Poor Simon. He just ... doesn't know what's going on. None of them do...
...and based on the isolated nature of this competition, they won't. Not until it's too late...
[Fade in: The dining hall, where all the wrestlers have finished their meal. How good was it? Did anyone ask for seconds? Did they get a low-carb variation? Or perhaps low fat?
Or better question... who really cares? You know what matters the most... so let's get to it.
Into the dining room walks Randy Grant, who comes to a table near the front of the room. He carries a box with him, which he sets on the table.]
RG: Hope you all had a pleasant meal... because for one of you... it's your last meal on Total Drama Wrestling.
[Dramatic drum beat.]
RG: What I have here in this box are eight small trophies... now, I know the typical thing for wrestlers to do with trophies is to destroy them the first chance they get... but when it came to the next prize to give out to those who made it to the next challenge, it was the best award we could come up with.
Relax, though... it's not just going to be trophies you'll be getting for surviving to the next round. Ultimately, there will be title belts for you... surely a more coveted prize for wrestlers to claim.
And it will all lead up to the belt up for grabs for the last wrestler standing... this belt.
[He pulls out of the box a large, gold championship belt.]
RG: This is the Total Drama Wrestling World Championship belt... this is the prize that goes to the one wrestler who makes it all the way to the end.
But unfortunately, one of you tonight isn't going to have a chance at it.
[Dramatic drum beat again, as Randy places the title belt back into the box. He then pulls out of the box one of the small trophies.]
RG: Eight of you will get one of these tonight... when I call your name, come up and claim your trophy.
The first wrestler to get a trophy is the obvious one... Jack Keening.
[Jack goes up to claim his trophy. He just shrugs.
Pause for effect.]
RG: Keisha Love.
[Keisha smiles as she heads up to claim her trophy.
Pause for further effect.]
RG: Kevin McCabe.
[Kevin simply walks to the front and claims his trophy. He merely glares at everyone else in the room.
Yet another pause for effect.]
RG: Gabby RioPaah.
[Gabby heads up to claim her trophy. She doesn't show much emotion.
More pause for effect.]
RG: Ikuto Nagashima.
[Ikuto has a smirk on his face as he heads up to get his trophy.
Cue... dramatic music. So soon?
Cut to Randy staring intently at the four remaining wrestlers.
Then to Simon, whose eyes shift.
Then to Freebear, who seems a bit concerned.
Then to Suzie, who looks a bit taken aback.
Then to Yano, who seems worried.
Dramatic music continues... but then, fades out just as quickly... as we go to Randy.]
RG: The four of you are similar in that you each received votes to be sent off.
But only three of you actually cast a vote to send somebody off.
[He now paces a bit as he speaks.]
RG: You were all warned that you needed to cast a vote... and that failure to cast a vote means you have just voted yourself off.
And the reason is simple... voting is a duty that all competitors are expected to carry out on Total Drama Wrestling, because it adds to the thrill of the competition, with the viewers at home wondering just who it is that could be going home.
So the one who failed to carry out that duty, failed the spirit of what Total Drama Wrestling is really all about.
It's a shame this had to happen... and it truly disappoints me for a simple reason that everyone can understand.
You ruined the dramatic moment!
[He puts his hands on his hips.]
RG: Because for those watching the shows, it's likely obvious to them who is going home now.
So we'll skip any more dramatic tension and get to the point.
The final three trophies go to...
And Suzie Machina.
[With that, the three respective wrestlers head to the front to claim their prizes. Simon has a satisfied smirk, Freebear has a grin and Suzie simply nods and smiles.]
RG: Yano Masoyoshi... this does upset me, bro. Because when you came here, I pegged you as one of the wrestlers who could go far. It's too bad you forgot to exercise your duty as a Total Drama Wrestling participant.
It's been real, man... but it's time for you to go. You may leave through the way you came in, where the prison wagon will be waiting to transport you to a secret location until the competition ends.
[Yano merely stands up, a disappointed look on his face, as he exits the dining room.]
RG: As for the rest of you, you are all safe...
[And with a little smile.]
[Fade up to the control center where Raymond Elbert sits in a chair.]
RE: Well, there you have it... Godzilla acts like your typical American on Election Day and forgets to show up to the polls, thereby getting stuck with the equivalent of a do-nothing Congress and a President who'd rather look good than actually do good.
And if you don't find that funny... don't blame me, take it up with the writer. That's Randy, of course.
RE: So now it's down to eight... and what exactly could we have planned for the suckers who came on board to this thing?
[He laughs slightly.]
RE: Wouldn't you all like to know... and you'll find out next show!