Comment on TBE first, ya scoundrels!


BLOODY PARADISE - (EPISODE 9)
Thursday, May 22nd 2008
Paradise, CA at the PJG 'Arena'

^Three Gates of Hell Tournament Match^
First Blood Battle Royal Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: 9 men enter the ring, barbedwire is wrapped around the top rope and there can be only one winner! To eliminate the competition you must make them bleed! But not from just anywhere, you have to cut open their forehead!

Ronan Benedict, Rally Jackson, "Barbed Wire" Ken, Christian Copeland, Chad Grimsson, Clayton Priest, Michael Kane, Donovan O'Reily and Andy James! Every man for himself!

Party Balloon Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Each corner has a tub full of balloons resting in water. Each balloon is full of something nasty! From rubbing alcohol and thumbtacks to lemon juice and glass shards! Barbed wire will be strung around the ropes. First pinfall or submission wins!

The Train Wreck and Shinran vs. San Kindachi Gojin
(The Polar Bear Stud and (Joker Blue, Daddy Bones
Warwick Kelly) and Ryuu Nagano)

10,000 Thumbtacks Handicap Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Spread across the ring mat and in boxes outside the ring are TEN THOUSAND thumbtacks! First pinfall or submission wins!

Jacob Cross vs. Red Shingo and Shouta Shukketsu

Painful Substances Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Various items are placed around ringside to inflict massive pain once you wound an opponents! Lemon juice, salt, rubbing alcohol and more! Light tubes or barbed wire is usually used to inflict wounds. First pinfall or submission wins!

Ashley Brooks vs. Suzie Machina

_SUICIDE SOLDIER TITLE MATCH_?
Unsanction Parking Lot Brawl Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Quote Ken, "Somebody shows up, I kick their fucking ass and prove that I'm the real Suicide Soldier champion so that Jeter has no excuse to not give me my belt back!"

"Barbed Wire" Ken vs. ???????

>MAIN EVENT<
^Widow's Web Tournament Match^
Heavenly Ascension Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Four barrels full of burning coals are placed around ringside, panes of glass, tables, and a whole host of weapons you can (and possibly can't!) imagine surround the ring, and the ropes are replaced by barbed wire. First person to pin their opponent or make them submit wins!

Talia Wichzini vs. Ashlyn Summers

BLOODY PARADISE - (EPISODE 9)
Thursday, May 22nd 2008
Paradise, CA at the PJG 'Arena'

^Three Gates of Hell Tournament Match^
First Blood Battle Royal Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: 9 men enter the ring, barbedwire is wrapped around the top rope and there can be only one winner! To eliminate the competition you must make them bleed! But not from just anywhere, you have to cut open their forehead!

Ronan Benedict, Rally Jackson, "Barbed Wire" Ken, Christian Copeland, Chad Grimsson, Clayton Priest, Michael Kane, Donovan O'Reily and Andy James! Every man for himself!

$$$ Stoked to be in this one. Didn't see much from a lot of these guys on TBE but I'm sure they'll have some vicious on-cards. And if O'Reily is pulling out of this one then I have no idea whose going to win. This one's going to be fun. $$$

Party Balloon Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Each corner has a tub full of balloons resting in water. Each balloon is full of something nasty! From rubbing alcohol and thumbtacks to lemon juice and glass shards! Barbed wire will be strung around the ropes. First pinfall or submission wins!

The Train Wreck and Shinran vs. San Kindachi Gojin
(The Polar Bear Stud and (Joker Blue, Daddy Bones
Warwick Kelly) and Ryuu Nagano)

$$$ Looking forward to the debut of the Train Wreck and our first 6-Man. I think the Polar Bear Stud will get "his" win. $$$

10,000 Thumbtacks Handicap Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Spread across the ring mat and in boxes outside the ring are TEN THOUSAND thumbtacks! First pinfall or submission wins!

Jacob Cross vs. Red Shingo and Shouta Shukketsu

$$$ Man, I really hope we get an SJSG upset here! That's how much I like hating Cross right now. Definetly the most over Heel that we got. $$$

Painful Substances Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Various items are placed around ringside to inflict massive pain once you wound an opponents! Lemon juice, salt, rubbing alcohol and more! Light tubes or barbed wire is usually used to inflict wounds. First pinfall or submission wins!

Ashley Brooks vs. Suzie Machina

$$$ I forgot all about this match...Nice! Suzie picks up a huge debut win. $$$

_SUICIDE SOLDIER TITLE MATCH_?
Unsanction Parking Lot Brawl Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Quote Ken, "Somebody shows up, I kick their fucking ass and prove that I'm the real Suicide Soldier champion so that Jeter has no excuse to not give me my belt back!"

"Barbed Wire" Ken vs. ???????

$$$ Be excited for this one, seriously this time. $$$

>MAIN EVENT<
^Widow's Web Tournament Match^
Heavenly Ascension Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Four barrels full of burning coals are placed around ringside, panes of glass, tables, and a whole host of weapons you can (and possibly can't!) imagine surround the ring, and the ropes are replaced by barbed wire. First person to pin their opponent or make them submit wins!

Talia Wichzini vs. Ashlyn Summers

$$$ As much as I wanna see the girl that got lynched get her revenge, Talia hit us with two strong pieces this week. I'm going with Wichzini here, but still hoping that Ashlyn pulls it out. $$$

^Three Gates of Hell Tournament Match^
First Blood Battle Royal Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: EIGHT, count 'em, EIGHT men enter the ring, barbed wire is wrapped around the top rope and there can be only one winner! To eliminate the competition you must make them bleed! But not from just anywhere, you have to cut open their forehead!

Ronan Benedict, Rally Jackson, "Barbed Wire" Ken, Christian Copeland, Chad Grimsson, Clayton Priest, Michael Kane and Andy James! Every man for himself!

-- Ronan and Kane will probably fuck each other up and not be too terribly focused on the outcome. Ditto Ken and Copeland. Jackson and James have been fine, but I really don't see either of them competing for the title. That leaves Grimsson and Priest and we've already got one Grimsson in the title bout... so, by process of elimination I've got Clayton securing a slot in the big show. HUZZAH!

Party Balloon Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Each corner has a tub full of balloons resting in water. Each balloon is full of something nasty! From rubbing alcohol and thumbtacks to lemon juice and glass shards! Barbed wire will be strung around the ropes. First pinfall or submission wins!

The Train Wreck and Shinran vs. San Kindachi Gojin (The Polar Bear Stud and (Joker Blue, Daddy Bones Warwick Kelly) and Ryuu Nagano)

-- San Kindachi Gojin, I think, translates to "We're fucked" in English.

10,000 Thumbtacks Handicap Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Spread across the ring mat and in boxes outside the ring are TEN THOUSAND thumbtacks! First pinfall or submission wins!

Jacob Cross vs. Red Shingo and Shouta Shukketsu

-- Fuck Jacob Cross! All hail Sendai!

Painful Substances Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Various items are placed around ringside to inflict massive pain once you wound an opponents! Lemon juice, salt, rubbing alcohol and more! Light tubes or barbed wire is usually used to inflict wounds. First pinfall or submission wins!

Ashley Brooks vs. Suzie Machina

-- I still don't know the difference between Ashley and Ashlyn, except that Ashley is the white one. I think.

_SUICIDE SOLDIER TITLE MATCH_?
Unsanction Parking Lot Brawl Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Quote Ken, "Somebody shows up, I kick their fucking ass and prove that I'm the real Suicide Soldier champion so that Jeter has no excuse to not give me my belt back!"

"Barbed Wire" Ken vs. ???????

-- A brutal massacre occurs as Ken annihilates the scrawny kid wearing the bunny ears from "Gummo". Konga stumbles across the carcass and eats well this evening.

>MAIN EVENT<
^Widow's Web Tournament Match^
Heavenly Ascension Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Four barrels full of burning coals are placed around ringside, panes of glass, tables, and a whole host of weapons you can (and possibly can't!) imagine surround the ring, and the ropes are replaced by barbed wire. First person to pin their opponent or make them submit wins!

Talia Wichzini vs. Ashlyn Summers

-- Ashlyn is the black one, right? C'mon, Talia! Let's lynch us a darkie! :please:

BLOODY PARADISE - (EPISODE 9)
Thursday, May 22nd 2008
Paradise, CA at the PJG 'Arena'

^Three Gates of Hell Tournament Match^
First Blood Battle Royal Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: 9 men enter the ring, barbedwire is wrapped around the top rope and there can be only one winner! To eliminate the competition you must make them bleed! But not from just anywhere, you have to cut open their forehead!

Ronan Benedict, Rally Jackson, "Barbed Wire" Ken, Christian Copeland, Chad Grimsson, Clayton Priest, Michael Kane, Donovan O'Reily and Andy James! Every man for himself!

********** This has the makings of being the best match in PJG history so far. I am shocked it's not the main event. I wish there weren't those no-shows on TBE and I hope there are some on-cards to pick up the slack on those. James took a large step closer last show with those two eliminations in the scaffold match, and I thought I solid effort from him here would give him a decent chance... but it definitely looks like Priest at this juncture. That'd make it two heels and two faces in the finals. He has been among the best of the bunch for PJG's entire run. Plus everyone else has something else fairly big going on at the moment.

Party Balloon Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Each corner has a tub full of balloons resting in water. Each balloon is full of something nasty! From rubbing alcohol and thumbtacks to lemon juice and glass shards! Barbed wire will be strung around the ropes. First pinfall or submission wins!

The Train Wreck and Shinran vs. San Kindachi Gojin
(The Polar Bear Stud and (Joker Blue, Daddy Bones
Warwick Kelly) and Ryuu Nagano)

********** No questions here. Train Wreck and Shinran in an absolute, um... train wreck. These are three of my new favorite characters in the fed and they represent the young blood of PJG that will no doubt be making a major impact post-EP 10 (or maybe even before).

10,000 Thumbtacks Handicap Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Spread across the ring mat and in boxes outside the ring are TEN THOUSAND thumbtacks! First pinfall or submission wins!

Jacob Cross vs. Red Shingo and Shouta Shukketsu

********** Damn you Mike. You flake! Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves... we could see an on-card (PLEASE!!). Cross is set up SO beautifully right now. It'd be a shame to see that heat go to waste. It COULD be that he's still unconscious from the Ruination (teehee!)... yeah, let's go with that. I take Shouta cause it sounds like Chowdah and some of that would be really tasty right now.

Painful Substances Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Various items are placed around ringside to inflict massive pain once you wound an opponents! Lemon juice, salt, rubbing alcohol and more! Light tubes or barbed wire is usually used to inflict wounds. First pinfall or submission wins!

Ashley Brooks vs. Suzie Machina

********** Machina. Brooks seemed to have a lot of momentum going early on which has faded. Machine is coming in off a solid showing on TBE. She takes it with some ease.

_SUICIDE SOLDIER TITLE MATCH_?
Unsanction Parking Lot Brawl Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Quote Ken, "Somebody shows up, I kick their fucking ass and prove that I'm the real Suicide Soldier champion so that Jeter has no excuse to not give me my belt back!"

"Barbed Wire" Ken vs. ???????

********** You _better_ give us something to be excited for Joe, or you never get another voicemail from me again! Hm... Ken losing the belt here would just be silly going into EP 10 vs. Copeland, so... Ken it is.

>MAIN EVENT<
^Widow's Web Tournament Match^
Heavenly Ascension Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Four barrels full of burning coals are placed around ringside, panes of glass, tables, and a whole host of weapons you can (and possibly can't!) imagine surround the ring, and the ropes are replaced by barbed wire. First person to pin their opponent or make them submit wins!

Talia Wichzini vs. Ashlyn Summers

********** Wichzini. No doubter. Sorry, Summers has been very very good. But Talia has been very very better.

Hrm let's see... and go!

Why that's tomorrow!

Yikes, this should be a hard one to book [if all have promos]. I'm torn between Kane and Priest here... Maybe Ken or D'OR... Or Grimsson or Copeland... could be James or Jackson... or... oh, that's everyone? Uh... Uh... Uh... UH.... UH... UH... Priest - no, O'Reily... Wait, no, Prie... Reily.... Uh... Preist.

Hey, finally! Obviously San Kindachi Gojin!

Cross eats the entrails of both Shingo and Shukketsu and then cut both their fingers off to one-up Konga. Beat that, madman!

Lemon juice, salt, alcohol... hope someone brings some gin for a nasty martini! I'll take Ms. Machina here.

Hrm... He's not losing the title here... UNLESS ?????? is actually Copeland and they have a match here and at Ep. 10. That's the only way BWK drops the title here and I doubt it happens.

I'm thinking there's some sort of odd ending with this one involving Konga somehow... maybe even Talia's beau. Wichzini for the win.

Jeez, this is a tough one... Benedict, Kane, BWK and Copeland already have matches on Episode 10 so I don't think they're going over here. Of those remaining, most didn't have a flash, but I'm hoping for a few on-cards. I'll take O'Reilly for the win.

Squashapalooza. The bizarre Train Wreck/Shinran trio kick some ass.

Squashapalooza Part 2, Jacob Cross Edition.

My match, so I won't comment.

Ken starts to beat up some jobber, and then chicanery happens. Ken somehow wins, though.

This is going to be awesome, but I think Talia has to take it in the end.

BLOODY PARADISE - (EPISODE 9)
Thursday, May 22nd 2008
Paradise, CA at the PJG 'Arena'

^Three Gates of Hell Tournament Match^
First Blood Battle Royal Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: 9 men enter the ring, barbedwire is wrapped around the top rope and there can be only one winner! To eliminate the competition you must make them bleed! But not from just anywhere, you have to cut open their forehead!

Ronan Benedict, Rally Jackson, "Barbed Wire" Ken, Christian Copeland, Chad Grimsson, Clayton Priest, Michael Kane, Donovan O'Reily and Andy James! Every man for himself!

-> A lotta' you guys have made some very good points already. And as much as I'd love to see Michael Kane win it, as Phil has been nothing short of awesome, I agree with the consensus. Priest to win.

Party Balloon Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Each corner has a tub full of balloons resting in water. Each balloon is full of something nasty! From rubbing alcohol and thumbtacks to lemon juice and glass shards! Barbed wire will be strung around the ropes. First pinfall or submission wins!

The Train Wreck and Shinran vs. San Kindachi Gojin
(The Polar Bear Stud and (Joker Blue, Daddy Bones
Warwick Kelly) and Ryuu Nagano)

->No brainer. Train Wreck & Shinran.

10,000 Thumbtacks Handicap Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Spread across the ring mat and in boxes outside the ring are TEN THOUSAND thumbtacks! First pinfall or submission wins!

Jacob Cross vs. Red Shingo and Shouta Shukketsu

-> I predict... that Gilliland flakes, so Shingo and Shouta pull out the upset win.

Painful Substances Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Various items are placed around ringside to inflict massive pain once you wound an opponents! Lemon juice, salt, rubbing alcohol and more! Light tubes or barbed wire is usually used to inflict wounds. First pinfall or submission wins!

Ashley Brooks vs. Suzie Machina

-> Should be a pretty competitive match, but my money's on Machina.

_SUICIDE SOLDIER TITLE MATCH_?
Unsanction Parking Lot Brawl Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Quote Ken, "Somebody shows up, I kick their fucking ass and prove that I'm the real Suicide Soldier champion so that Jeter has no excuse to not give me my belt back!"

"Barbed Wire" Ken vs. ???????

-> ??????. For the Hell of it.

>MAIN EVENT<
^Widow's Web Tournament Match^
Heavenly Ascension Deathmatch
Stipulation Explained: Four barrels full of burning coals are placed around ringside, panes of glass, tables, and a whole host of weapons you can (and possibly can't!) imagine surround the ring, and the ropes are replaced by barbed wire. First person to pin their opponent or make them submit wins!

Talia Wichzini vs. Ashlyn Summers

-> I too would like to see Ashlyn get some payback on Talia for the lynching. But it won't happen this night, especially after those two awesome flashes from Talia. Hopefully this feud will continue though, and build up intensity.