THE BASTARDNOMICON
MBC FAQ VERSION 5.0
Mighty Bastard Championship
Frequently Asked Questions
As Written by Kyle B. Lee
kyle.lee2@comcast.net
"There are always more bastards" -Gib Crosby
"Bastards never die..." -David Lawson
"...well okay, they do. But they take as many people with them as they can." -David Lawson
"Even to the end, the MBC has always be...undefinable." - Chris O'Brien
"Damnit! Where's my fried panda?" - Vengeance
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Core Written 6- 9-00
Updated (3.0) 8-27-01
Updated (4.0) 7- 1-03
Updated (5.0) 5-26-06
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I. INTRO/FAQ ADDENDUMS
II. WHAT IS THE MBC?
III. THE PERSONALITIES
IV. THE TITLES
V. THE WEEKLY SHOWS
VI. THE PAY PER VIEWS
VII. RP'S AND GUIDELINES
VIII. THE APPLICATION
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I. INTRO/FAQ ADDENDUMS
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--A. INTRODUCTION
Yes, the introduction. What good FAQ doesn't have an introduction of somekind. Well, I'm sure there are plenty but this
one needed it, and I am here to please. For those who have been dead for the last 10 years, this is a FAQ which is short for "Floutas And Quesodillas" or something like that. To my understanding a FAQ is either supposed to be some of the best Tex-Mex around or its supposed to answer your questions. So pretty much any question you have about the MBC ought to be answered here. If not you can always
email me, the fedhead/owner, with any questions or suggestions.
--B. FAQ ADDENDUMS
6- 9-00- (2.0) At some point, Version 1.0 of this FAQ was written. It got lost in the woods and was never seen again. Although, I'm sure somewhere, you can find the footage of its final days. Version 2.0 is more or less a fresh rewrite of the FAQ.
8-27-01- (3.0) Basicly updating everything that I've neglected over the past year.
7- 1-03- (4.0) Finally the MBC has come BACK to E-wrestling. Time to update.
5-26-06- (5.0) Again, the MBC has come back. This time with the fresh revisions.
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II. WHAT IS THE MBC?
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--A. BEFORE WE BEGIN
Yes, before we begin, I wanted to give an intro to this particular section. This will easily be one of the more dry sections of reading in this FAQ. More or less, this will discuss the actual history as an e-fed rather than the league's "story". More or less, it concerns why I founded the league, why its closed and reopened and why "bastard" is such a neat word.
--B. THE MBC'S FUNCTION
The function of the MBC is e-wrestling. For those new to the game, e-wrestling is basicly a roleplaying game based in the world of professional wrestling. You create a character. You get matches, you roleplay and strategize to win. The MBC had its beginnings on a
BBS and moved to the internet where it is based through email. We're working on the webpage at the moment. We're kind of all over the place.
--C. THE BEGINNING
Back in 1996, when getting onto a bulletin board system was still cooler than getting onto the internet, I, Kyle B. Lee, took a break from the world of BBSing. In that time, I first logged onto the internet and discovered the bundles of information you could find. I also discoverd the bounty of e-wrestling. I joined a fed or two and I was hooked. I then downloaded a copy of the WLS 5.1 wrestling simulator
and started to plug everybody I knew into its system, having my friends battle it out on who could be the mightier bastard. And in doing so, I had the thought: "This is cool. Lets take this to the BBS."
--D. THE MBC UNLEASHED ON THE BBS
So on August 8, 1996 the MBC officialy opened its door, holding its first card, even if it only had three matches. The first 8 people were
signed and the tournament to determine the first ever Mighty Bastard Champion took place on August 10 of that same year.
From there the MBC blossomed from a simulator based fed to a booked fed having full blown cards with commentary. In August 1997, as I prepared to head off to college, I put the MBC on hiatus and moved it from its home on the BBS to the internet.
--E. THE MBC UNLEASHED ON THE INTERNET
In October of 1997, the MBC went "national" so to speak when it opened its doors on the internet. It had a long successful
run up until July of 1998, where, due to several reasons, the MBC had to close down. It then returned in April 1999 after a successful joint show with the AEWA, ISSW, and UWF. It made another long run up until October of 1999, where burnout forced the MBC to close. The MBC held a special pay per view in December of 1999 and came back to run for a fourth time starting in March 2000. It closed in December of 2001
--F. THE BASTARDS ARE BACK IN TOWN
Well, you can't keep a good league down so on June 29th, 2003 after seeing David Lawson's MBC tribute site and lengthy
discussions with Mike Beeby and Bob Northrip I decided to reopen the leauge. This run wasn't quite as long going to the Spring of 2004. Working lots of extra hours and six days a week can be attributed as the main cause and also the main factor that made it easier for me to clip into a hardcore "City of Heroes" addiction.
--G. A GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT
Craving the creative outlet again, the MBC has come back. For how long, I don't know. But I have an excellent crew and an awesome core. So we'll see how it plays out.
--H. THE BASICS OF HOW THE MBC WORKS
The MBC is a booked fed and is booked on three things. One being roleplays. The second being strategies and the third
being angles and storylines. Any complaints can be taken up with me.
--I. THE BASTARDIZER OF BASTARDISM
That would be me, Kyle B. Lee. I'm the founder, owner and all around nice guy (depending who you talk to). Simple as that really.
--J. WHY "BASTARD" IS SUCH A NEAT WORD
Say it with me: "BASTARD". It just rolls off the tongue. Its fun to say too. Say it again: "BASTARD". Now, add an adjetive to it like "stupid", "arrogant", or "monkey loving". It gets even better. By far, its my favorite word. Who here doesn't think "Mighty bastard" should
be a compliment?
ADDED 8-27-01- For those of you with typing skills, notice that you can type "bastard" with one hand.
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III. THE PERSONALITIES
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--A. BEFORE WE BEGIN...
This section will discuss most of the major personalities of the MBC. Mostly its the commentators and administrators that it'll cover but
eventualy I'll add more. Obviously it will change as the crew changes.
--B. MISTER SKULLHEAD
Real Name: Robert Harrison-Skoehl
One of the original commentators, first appeared in 1996. He became a fulltime manager in early 1997, leaving the commentary booth but returned in October of the same year. Retired wrestler. Father to the Bash Brothers, associates of "The Doomsayer" Kyle Lee. He's a rather tall man with graying red hair. He's built rather well for a man his age too. Keeps himself in good shape afterall. He even held one half of the MBC Team Bastard Championship at one time. He's the straight man. He's the play by play man on the crew and is semi face. He'll point out the evilness of the heels but won't be afraid to point out when a face does something out of the ordinary. He has a tendancy to ignore Slush and Pinhead but if they say something especialy offensive or disgusting, he's very quick to yell. He married Becky Carlisle on May 10, 2001 in Las Vegas.
--C. PINHEAD
Real Name: Ian McAllister
Originaly Pinhead was an interviewer and a the scene reporter who would occasionaly take a spot in the commentator's booth when Slush would get into a fist fight with one of the other commentators. Pinhead became an offical part of the team when Skullhead left after his
disgust for the Hand of Doom take over of the MBC back in February of 1997. Pinhead was temporarily fired but rehired soon enough and he remained a part of the team. He's one of the color guys. He's the secondary play by play man but with his play by play, he adds a bit of color. He's a fan of Scud for one thing. He is also a retired wrestler but didn't have as much success. He has the build of a 6'0"
luchadore and he's bald. Rugged like Ventura and despite his name, he can be very intelligent. But the running joke for him is that what part does he really play in the MBC commentary. He's sort of just there. He hates K-Mart and he's also known to quote Ezeikial 25:17 and beat up vending machines. He doesn't do it often but he can lose his temper with results much like Homer Simpson. Pinhead has an addiction to pornography and gambling but doesn't bring it up unless provoked. Most of all, he's always fighting with Slush.
--D. SLUSH
Real Name: Anthony Wayneright Danza III
Originaly one of the on the scene reporters for the MBC, Slush joined the commentary team Slush full time in March of 1997. Slush is a very odd person and he can dress in such a way that it would shame Dennis Rodman. Slush is known for his offensive statements, his dependence
on over the counter medication and his extreme hatred for Boy Scouts and anything related to MBC superstar Tom Landis. He once had his own TV show called "Uncle Slush's Playhouse" which was like Pee Wees playhouse. It only lasted one show. He also does his own version of Piper's Pit called "Slush's Nest O'Love". Since "MBC: Final Night" Slush has recovered from the injuries dealt to him by Tom Landis and has made numerous guest appearances in both the UWF and LEW. He still hates Tom Landis with a passion.
--E. TINKLE
The one and only cult sensation for a new generation of rodents. Once known as the "Incontinent Gerbil", Tinkle revealed his true identity as a hamster and overcame his bladder problems and suicidal tendancies to make MEEP not only a four letter word but also a house hold name. You'll never find Tinkle without a picture of "Tornado" Tara Smith in his cage. Nor will you never find him too far away from his constant
companion, Slush. Since "MBC: The Final Night" Tinkle has made numerous appearances in both the UWF and LEW, eventualy joining the commentary team of the later. He's returned to spread the word of MEEP in the MBC.
--F. "THE DOOMSAYER" KYLE LEE
The founder. The president and owner when he hasn't been removed/overthrown/arrested etc. The original bastard, he founded the MBC
and ran it well until a heel stable called the Hand of Doom drummed up enough criminal charges to have him arrested and to take away the ownership. Lee tried to regain the helm but eventualy after clearing himself of the charges, he was banned from the MBC on a civil
matter. Eventualy the banishment was lifted and he entered as a wrestler. After the MBC closed he did what he could to buy back the MBC and somehow he did. He reopened it and for the most part has been back behind the reigns. He's not exactly going to be your best friend but he does what he does for the benefit of the league. After "MBC: Final Night" he was forced to sell all the assets of the MBC to multiple parties. However he has regains all financial stock in the MBC and has held onto it since 2004. He is the current CEO and President.
--G. BECKY CARLISLE-SKULLHEAD
Formerly of the UWF, Becky came into her own as the Head of the MBC's News Department. She's gone on to prove that she's not a chick to mess with and tends to keep Slush on his toes. Then again, that could be the voodoo. In Spring of 2001, her and Skullhead were married in
Las Vegas. Slush still doesn't like her. She fills in on commentary from time to time in addition to her role as backstage reporter.
--H. "TORNADO" TARA SMITH
Tara Smith started off in the women's ranks of the MBC and soon climbed her way to the top. But soon enough, she would find herself at odds with Kyle Lee. The two feuded over a period of nearly two years, mostly over Lee's actions. Smith eventualy became President of the MBC much to the chagrin of Lee. Lee and Smith were co-presidents of the MBC for a while before both were suspended by the Board of
Directors. Since "MBC: Final Night", Tara has continued to dominate in other federations such as the UWF and now she returns to compete once again in the MBC.
--I. BILLY "SCUD" MCKENZIE
From mailroom flunky to inring interviewer. From inring interviewer to human punching bag. From human punching bag to cult hero. Scud started his on air career in late 1997 and despite being picked on, he became one of the most popular personalities in wrestling today. He's actualy wrestled at one point having held the UWF Skyweight Tag Team Championship with "Thrillseeker" Tommy Elliot. At "MBC: Final Night" Scud married longtime manager and companion Shawni O'Leary and took a job in the LEW as ring announcer. Back in the MBC, Scud will now be an interviewer and fill in ring announcer as needed. And as always, the possibility of "Scud Violence" is always looming.
--J. SHAWNI MCKENZIE
Formerly one of the most popular valets and all around good looking pieces of eye candy in the industry along side fellow "Nasti Habit" Tawni Northern, Shawni eventualy took a more active role in managing, helping Doug Christian to win the AEWA World Heavyweight Championship. He parted ways with Christian and rejoined Tawni in accompanying Randall Osbourne to the ring during his matches. Shawni took up managing solo again, this time with "Thrillseeker" Tommy Elliot and Billy "Scud" McKenzie. At "MBC: Final Night", Shawni wed Billy "Scud" McKenzie and the two have lived in marital bliss ever since. In 2004, she gave birth to triplets. With the MBC back, Shawni has returned to the wrestling world, this time as the MBC's official ring announcer.
--K. TAWNI NORTHERN
Formerly one of the most popular valets and all around good looking pieces of eye candy in the industry along side fellow
"Nasti Habit" Shawni O'Leary (Now McKenzie), Tawni proved she could do more than look good in tight leather. After hooking up with Randall Osbourne, she guided him to multiple title reigns in both the UWF and AEWA. For a time she also took up managing duties for Tommy Elliot, Billy McKenzie and the Lady in Red during her seperation from "Crimson" Joe Reed. While never a major player in the MBC, she has on multiple occasions filled in on color commentary. With the MBC back, she'll do the same in addition to her duties as inverviewer.
--L. VENGEANCE
Nobody is quite sure how Vengeance got a job as one of the MBC original commentators. Truth be told, that applies to a lot of things when talking about Vengeance. He's the High Pope of Hate, infamous for such speeches such as "The Origin of Hate", "The Origin of Hate in
Texas" and "The Origin of Hate in America". His role in the MBC is uncertain as always but chances are, if you wait long enough he'll pop up. In 2004, he was elected President of the MBC, however his actions led to him and the MBC being banned from broadcast television. The ban on the MBC was lifted in 2006. His ban was not.
--M. TESLA ST. JAMES
She first appeared in the MBC in late 2001 at the side of the Prophet, who was later revealed to be Kyle Lee. Lee has long claimed that Tesla is his number one student and since her debut, she has been his right hand man so to speak. While not active full time in the ring, she runs the MBC Training Facility and is a former President of the MBC.
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IV. THE TITLES
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--A. BEFORE WE BEGIN...
Again, here is the intro to this section. This section ought to cover everything you need to know about the MBC's titles and if it doesn't then email the fedhead... wait... thats me.
--B. THE MIGHTY BASTARD CHAMPIONSHIP WORLD TITLE
The one and only... the big one. The first MBC title ever fought for in a tournament on August 10, 1996. It was simply the
Mighty Bastard Championship title for the most part but in mid 1998, it officialy became a World title seeing as how its been defended outside the United States. This is the top piece of gold to go for.
--C. SMASH BASH CRUCIFY CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE
This title has earned a reputation of bringing in those hardcore matches giving it somewhat of an unoffical hardcore title status. The SBC title was the prize in the 1996 "Rumble in Your Pants" Rumble on September 29, 1996 and soon became a title with cult status. Its also considered one of the more exciting and the hardest to win titles seeing as how SBC title reign tend to last for several months at a time.
--D. GRANDMASTER TYPO CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE
The GMT is considered one of the more pointless titles. Kind of like a Television title but still people will go for it
just because its there. Originaly the GMT was initiated as the MBC's third level title and fought for in the original 2X4 Tournamnet on December 21, 1996. After the MBC closed down the GMT was sold to the UBC to be used as its secondary title but with the UBC folding and the MBC reopening, it was reinstated. The belt was named for my horrible oversight of typos in my work. Thats improved I swear.
--E. TEAM BASTARD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES
The Team Bastard Championship titles have seen some great tag team rivalries and on several occasions has been a part
of some of the biggest events in MBC history. The titles were fought for originaly in a three week, 8 Team tournament in September of 1996 with the championship finals being decided on September 29, 1996. For a tag team, these are the main objective.
--F. PSYCHO DRIVER TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TITLES
These are the secondary tag team titles. After being instated the champions were crowned in a grueling 16 tag team tournament with the finals coming in February 1997. After the MBC closed, the belts were transfered to the STWF but upon the MBC reopening, the titles were
reinstated. They were named for an Ozzy Osbourne song lyric.
--G. THE THIGHMASTER/MBC WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP
The Thighmaster has a long and odd history. The Thighmaster has been an object of conquest since September of 1996 when it was introduced in a Froinlaven Death match. Ever since then it has been fough for and it seems to carry with it an aura of power. It became the
MBC's offical Women's title on May 2, 1999 but that didn't last too long but the Thighmaster is still an object of desire. In mid 2001, the Women's title got an actual title belt and the Thighmaster for all intents and purposes has been retired.
--H. UWF/MBC JOINT LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE
I don't really know why Mike Beeby and I created this title. It just happened. "The Doomsayer" Kyle Lee was going off on
a MBC rant and took what was called the Faux Cruiserweight title/cube and turned it into a title in a joint effort with the UWF. But the title is mostly known for its nickname, the "Calista Flockhart Memorial Title", not because she died but because we want to remember how she was 50 pounds ago. The title was instated in March of 1999 and has been defended in the MBC, UWF and the UWF-E. In 2004, it was merged with the Grandmaster Typo Championship.
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V. THE WEEKLY SHOWS
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--A. BEFORE WE BEGIN
The MBC has had three separate shows and God willing, we'll probably have more. We've got three days of the week covered. Maybe, we'll cover the other four. But let us step forward and discuss.
--B. THE HOUSE OF BASTARDS
In the fourth reign of the MBC, "The House of Bastards" was the goto show in place of "Tuesday Bloody Tuesday" and has been ever sincee. In the beginning, HOB featured its original house show format but now the show has evolved into more of a weekly program like that of TBT. Why haven't we gone back to Tuesday Bloody Tuesday? Well, House of Bastards is held on Thursday.
--C. TUESDAY BLOODY TUESDAY
For the first three reigns of the MBC, Tuesday Bloody Tuesday was the main weekly show, featuring 4 to 5 matches per week.
I guarantee you, that anybody who read an episode or two will think of TBT anything they hear the song "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath". The show was done like Nitro or Raw, putting forth a balance of interviews and matches, plus all the inane chatter of its commentary crew.
--D. SATURDAY NIGHT SLAUGHTERHOUSE
Granted, we only had three actual episodes, they were important for what they were. They were a secondary weekly show
similar to what Thunder and Smackdown are. We might not have them again but you never know. Get enough writers, and we could have a special or two.
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VI. THE PAY PER VIEWS
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--A. BEFORE WE BEGIN
Like any good federation, we have to have pay per views. Now while we don't exactly have the most consistent of schedules, I'm a believer of the old school, fewer pay per views mean a lot more. Instead of 12 a year, you're more apt to find 4 or 5 per year.
--B. SPLATTERNAD
If you asked, I couldn't honestly tell you where the name came from. But this pay per view that is is held in the spring (March/April/May) is possibly the MBC's biggest show of the year. The main event of the show is the Ballbreaker Cage Match which pits 10 wrestlers
against against eachother within the confines of a steel cage. The winner becomes the number one contender to the MBC title.
--C. 2X4
Every December 21, this massive 32 person tournament takes place. The field of 32 wrestlers is divided into 8 teams of 4 and the first rounds consists of 8 man elimination tag style matches. The winning teams go at it in round 2 and in round 3. The winning team then go
on to round 4, where the four winning members must then face each other in a single elimination tournament. The fifth and final round determines the champion. Twice this tournament has determined the fate of the MBC World Title, and more than likely, it will do it again. More or less, the whole concept is a pain in the ass to explain. Its why I only bother explaining it fully once a year. Somehere there is a FAQ for it.
--D. RUMBLE IN YOUR PANTS
Its was an August/September pay per view that is highlighted by a main event battle royal. The battle royal itself is a pain in the ass so don't expect it back.
--E. THE UP YOUR ARSE SERIES
Basic concept was like that of the WWF's "In Your House". Essentialy its a series with subtitles in said series. The first Up Your Arse was just that, "Up Your Arse". The second was "Up You Arse 2: ER" and was held in a hospital. Number 3 was "Up You Arse III: Independance Day" and was held around July 4th. Number 4 was "Up You Arse IV: Balloon Doggies of the Apocalypse". Five was "Up You Arse 5: Overkill" and 6 "Up You Arse VI: Invasion of Personal Space". I could have swore there was a seven but I may be crazy. The series is bounds to go on and on as long as the MBC exists.
--F. KINGDOM COME
Kingdom Come first appeared in 1997, and then again in 2000. It was instated as the new end of summer/Fall pay per view in 2001. No special
gimmicks, though it tends to usher in a new era for the MBC everytime. In 1997, Kingdom Come signified the beginning of the
MBC's "National" presense and in 2001, it signified the MBC's five year anniversary. And in 2003 it looks to signal the MBC's return.
--G. OTHER PPV EVENTS
The MBC is bound to have other pay per views. There was "El Dia De Muerte", and the two "Rise of the Midnight Sons". While these arn't scheduled at any specific time, they can pop up at any time. Suggestions are welcome.
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VII. RP'S AND GUIDELINES
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--A. BEFORE WE BEGIN
Yep. There are rules. Go figure.
--B. ROLEPLAY GUIDELINES
I love roleplays. They're my bread and butter. But unlinke many feds, I don't require you to roleplay once a week. I really
don't require anything. I just ask that you roleplay. If you have a match, roleplay. If you have an angle or what not, roleplay. The outcome of the match and the storyline is as much up to you as it is to me. Now as far as content, I leave that up to
you. Watch the language. If you don't, well it'll be bleeped out anyways. No sex, no racism, nothing you wouldn't see on
television. Seriously. Use judgement. And I really don't like celebrities in roleplays. I'll allow the
occasional one but man, they really, bug me. Kind of like France but not quite as bad.
--C. STRATEGIES
Obviously. A strategy. You strat on how you want the match to go. You strat on how you want to enter, exit, and everything
between. Send in a strat and you'll be surprised how far it will go. And if a strat doesn't get used, don't get mad. Either it wouldn't work or other things took precedence. Taking it personaly does nobody any good.
--D. HOW FAR CAN I GO?
More or less, read the above. Use judgement above all else and keep in mind, if something is really bad, then I'll let you know. Luckily, its never come up before and hopefuly, it won't ever come up. You never know.
--E. A NOTE ABOUT INTERGENDER WRESTLING
The MBC has had intergender wrestling since its creation and I don't see that stopping anytime. But I know how some handlers
can uncomfortable with it, that is if they don't down right hate it. I won't put your character into an intergender match unless I know you're comfortable with it but do realize that it is a part of the league.
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VIII. THE APPLICATION
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I know the MBC has had a reputation for being a bit over the edge before but remeber that when filling out this application, KEEP
IT BELIEVABLE!
Your name:
E-mail:
-------
Wrestler name:
Male or Female:
Hometown:
Heel/Face/Neutral:
Manager:
Height:
Weight:
Style:
Name of Finisher:
Describe Finisher:
For Writers:
Describe his/her style (Agressive, passive,
defensive, mind games, etc):
Strengths:
Weaknesses:
Does Your Character Have Any Signature Moves? List and Describe:
What moves does your wrestler used the most often? List 10-20 if you can:
Anything Special about him we need to Know:
Describe Manager:
Wrestler Appearance:
Do you have a picture of your wrestler or a link to a picture we can use for the website?
What Theme Music does your wrestler use and does he have a special entrance:
Give us a short biography of your Wrestler:
Tag Team info:
Team Name:
Members:
The end.
