SEVEN TABLES OF FEAR
KEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH
written by KW
MC: Our MAIN EVENT for this evening! This match is for the FIRST EVER KEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP and is a SEVEN TABLES OF FEAR MATCH! The winning team must PHYSICALLY put their opponents through four tables to win!
MC: Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and seventy-five pounds, they are the team of BRIMSTONE and NIGHTDRUID...they are LEGION!!!!
[The stage erupts with pyrotechnics, shooting a fireball into the air half-way to the rafters! Mob Rules is piped on the speakers while the Kenzertron proudly displays the Legionís entrance theme. A shower of sparks rain down on the stage, and through which comes Legion! They pause briefly to pose at the corners of the stage to pose, flexing muscles and sneering at the crowd. Behind them the spark-shower continues. They start heading to the ring as the Cleveland crowd boos and jeers all around them. When they reach ringside, Nightdruid idly runs a hand across one of the tables already set up and just grins maliciously. Meanwhile, his partner Brimstone has already rolled into the ring, his eyes clearly fixed on the Kenzertron...and who's to come next.]
MC: And their opponents! Weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and nine pounds, they are the team of JROLLINS and DAM...they are THE FIREWALKERS!!!!
["Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day cues up over the loudspeakers now as again the pyrotechnics once more flare up into life. Dam strides down the aisle first, slapping the hands of the cheering fans as he does so. Jrollins follows soon after, also slapping a hand here and there, but he stares dead ahead towards where his former partner is waiting, matching his gaze in intensity. Both men roll into the ring. Dam hops onto the turnbuckle and thrusts his hands high into the air, eliciting another good sized pop from the crowd while Jrollins places himself between Legion and his partner, just in case.]
JT: The Seven Tables of Fear match was first pioneered in the legendary IIWF and what a way to determine our first ever tag champions here in KEW!
PA: Yeah, but unlike over there, we'll actually have a legitimate tag team as Champ! [A beat.] Well, almost legit if the Firewankers manage to sneak a win. Which they won't.
JT: Don't be so sure about that, Phil! Tonight, Legion gets what's coming to them...I can feel it!
[In their respective corners, both members of Legion and the Firewalkers now glare at each other hatefully. Referee Rob Morton gestures at Maureen Carter to hand him the mic.]
Morton: All right, I know you two teams just want to start beating the ever-living crap out of each other and I figure you probably won't give a damn about proper tag protocol! So I'm saying to hell with it, no tags needed, you can just go at it!
[Violence pop! But if the two tag teams heard what was being said, they aren't showing it as their eyes are still locked on each other. Morton shrugs.]
Morton: All I'm here to do is count the tables. But let me just make one thing clear...if I'm not in a position to see a table getting broken, I'm not going to count it! Do you understand?!
[Legion and the Firewalkers still just stare.]
Morton: [nodding to Maureen] Ring the bell...
((DING DING DING))
[The fans are cheering wildly...but the four men just stare at one another. Even as the bell fades away into the din, none of the four move. Legion and the Firewalkers simply watch, staring at one another for a few moments.
Finally, Nightdruid lifts one hand...and points at Dam! Dam's eyes narrow as Nightdruid, still making eye contact, swings his arm, and points now at one of the seven tables sitting outside of the ring]
ND: You'll be going through that one first, Dam. Count on it...
[Like lightning, the young Firewalker lashes out at Nightdruid, sending him reeling back with a stiff uppercut! Meanwhile, Brimstone throws himself at Jrollins and the two former partners immediately begin exchanging lefts and rights with each other. Dam sends Nightdruid crashing to the canvas with a drop kick while his fellow Firewalker gains the advantage in his brawl, picking up the Smelly One and hitting him a HUGE full nelson slam! Both Legionnaires roll to the outside to collect themselves and regroup, much to the jeers of the crowd.]
JT: The Firewalkers showing Legion just who's in charge in the opening minutes!
PA: Yeah, well they haven't put Legion through any tables yet and that's what's counts!
[Jrollins reaches over to try and grab ND, only to be tripped up and pulled to the outside by Legion! Dam bends over to try to help his partner, but gets raked across the eyes by Brimstone and pulled out as well. Brimstone nails the struggling Dam with a well placed chop to the throat, then whips him towards the steel steps, sending the poor man crashing against them. Seeing his partner trading blows (and losing) against Jrollins, Brimstone clubs the larger Firewalker from behind with heavy fists.]
JT: Both members of Legion now on Jrollins...they're picking him up... OH! Legion just dropped Jrollins across that steel guardrail! I think they crushed his throat with that!
PA: And he'll never be able to sing opera again. Shame, really.
[Brimstone lays in a few vicious kicks for good measure at a writhing Jrollins. Dam, meanwhile, has gotten to his feet and starts to make his way over to come to his partner's aid. He starts firing kicks to the back and knees of the big Samoan. Brimstone buckles and drops to a knee, Dam moves in...
...only to get knocked down to the floor by a clothesline from the apron by Nightdruid! The Legionnaire grins wickedly as he drops a few knees to Dam's skull, barking out an order to "Prepare for the sacrifice!" Brimstone grabs one of the tables, leaning it vertically against the ring post. ND lifts Dam up and tosses him over to Brimstone, who RAMS the young Firewalker's head against the table...
...the Samoan lets go, letting Dam go staggering back...
...right into a savage superkick by Nightdruid, the impact sending Dam crashing back through the table! Heel pop!]
ND: [sneering] I warned you, young fool...
PA: That was beautiful! Lights Out by the Druid!
JT: It's not over yet, Phil!
PA: It might as well be, kid...watch!
[ND points at another table and nods at Brimstone. An ugly smile creeps up on the Smelly One's face as he drags Dam to his feet, applies a double chickenwing...
...and NAILS his foe through the table with a tiger suplex! HEEL POP!!]
JT: Two tables to zero!
[ND picks up a piece of the broken table and cracks a slowly rising Jrollins across the face with it. A trickle of red can be seen across the Firewalker's forehead. Meanwhile, Brimstone takes a third table, tosses into the ring, and then tosses an unresisting Dam back into the ring as well. He rolls into the ring as Nightdruid slides another table into the ring himself, then hops over the ropes.]
PA: This is BRILLIANT! Isolate that big oaf outside and then dismantle that runt of a partner inside the ring! In just a few seconds, Legion's gonna be the champs!
[Brimstone methodically begins to place one table in one corner, then the other table in the opposite corner as ND taunts Dam all the while. Both Legionnaires now pick up Dam, readying for a double suplex into one of the table-laden corners...
...cue their shock then when their prey is suddenly pulled off of them!]
PA: What?! Oh no!
[His partner away from their clutches, an angry Jrollins suddenly flattens both members of Legion with a HUGE running lariat! The Firewalker grabs Brimstone by the back of the head and tosses him to the outside, then hits ND with an inverted atomic drop! Dam, meanwhile, manages to get back up to his feet. He grabs Nightdruid and whips him towards the ropes...]
JT: Nightdruid being sent for the ride...TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!
[ND struggles to crawl away, but the Firewalkers take this opportunity to deliver picture-perfect dual elbowdrops to the small of his back! Dam then locks a Boston Crab onto the squirming Druid. Of course, a leg drop from the second rope by Jrollins helps slow that squirming down as well, much to the delight of the Cleveland fans! Dam releases the hold, quickly unfolds one of the tables in the corner and stands it up. He hops onto the top turnbuckle as Jrollins lifts the Legionnaire up and onto his shoulders...
...and Dam delivers with the bulldog through the table on Nightdruid! CROWD POP!!]
JT: WALL OF FLAME!! WALL OF FLAME!! It's now only two tables to one! And it looks like Nightdruid's bleeding a little!
[Both Dam and ND are down, however, though slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-wly stirring. Jrollins moves to pick up the fallen Legionnaire, only to have a recovered Brimstone on the outside grab him by the leg and drag him out from under the bottom rope. The two bitter rivals begin to slug it out, exchanging hard lefts and rights. The brawling of the big men carries them close towards one of the other tables already set on the outside. Brimstone stuns Jrollins with a forearm smash and starts to lift him for a belly-to-belly suplex through the table...
...only to be reversed by the Firewalker for a belly-to-belly suplex of his own! POP!!]
JT: My gawd, the hate these two men must have for each other!
PA: Hell, Jackie, Red Sox and Yankees' fans have nothing on these guys when it comes to hate!
JT: Double knee lift now to Brimstone's chest...OOF!
[With the Smelly One now gasping for breath, Jrollins drags him up to his feet and over to the nearby table. He pulls the burly Samoan's head back...
...the table doesn't budge. Jrollins pulls Brimstone's head back again...
...and the table stubbornly refuses to give! The Firewalker pulls his foe's head back again, but Brimstone jabs a elbow into Rollins' chest and then slams his head into the table! Another heavy THUNK reverberates through the Quicken Arena, but the table still doesn't break.]
PA: Dumb move by Unicorn Boy to target Brimmy's head...you think he would have known that by now that it only makes him madder!
JT: Jrollins blocks the forearm...low blow by Brimstone! He grabs Jrollins...STENCH DDT! And Jrollins is laid out on that table!
[Meanwhile, back in the ring, Nightdruid has just laid Dam out on the canvas with a Northern Lights Bomb. Brimstone hollers over at his partner. Seeing Jrollins now in his predicament outside, ND nods and takes a running start...
...executing a devastating tope con hilo onto Jrollins!!! HEEL POP!!!]
PA: BOOYEAH~!!! THREE TO ONE!!!
[The Cleveland crowd begins to chant...
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
...while Nightdruid and Jrollins lay still spawled out in a heap among the broken table!]
JT: That was brutal! Neither Nightdruid OR Jrollins are moving!
PA: But Brimstone is, kid! And he's smelling blood instead of himself for a change! Look!
[What Phil is referring to is the fact that Brimstone is calmly rolling back into the ring. Specifically, he's making his way towards the fallen Dam. He drops a heavy leg across the back of Dam's head. That ugly smile creeps back up onto his face again as he eyes the table still propped up in one corner.]
PA: I can just hear him thinking now... "Oh look! Here's Dummy all laid out like a Christmas Goose! No sense in tiring myself out picking up his fat-ass of a partner again when I can just destroy the little guy right here and now! And there's no WAY Rollins can save him OR the match this time!!"
[Brimstone hoists Dam up and starts with the running powerbomb towards the last table in the ring...
HUGE SHOCKED POP!!!!]
JT: HURRICARANA! DAM REVERSES!! And we are three tables to two!!
PA: HOW?! How the hell did he do that?!
JT: "Oh look! Velocity is my friend here when dealing with the large smelly guy trying to run me through an obstacle!"?
PA: Dammit, this isn't a MacGyver episode!
[Brimstone slumps over onto his back, gripping his right shoulder in pain. Dam, sensing an opening, manages to get to his feet first though.]
JT: Brimstone must have knocked that shoulder of his into the ringpost when he smashed through the table! And now Dam's got a rolling crucifix armbar applied!
PA: But look at the power Brimstone still has! He's lifting Dam up with just that one arm!
[The Samoan suddenly SLAMS Dam back down to the mat!]
JT: Dam's still holding on with that armbar!
[Anger clear on the Legionnaire's face, Brimstone slams his Dam-laden arm AGAIN back down to the mat, but the young Firewalker refuses to let go! Teeth gritted in frustration, Brimstone tries to now shake his pesky foe off...
...but Dam uses the momentum to nail the Smelly One with a swinging single arm DDT instead! Crowd pop!]
JT: Dam running for the ropes...Asai moonsault!
[With Brimstone groaning, Dam runs back to the ropes to try for a second Asai moonsault, only to be cracked across the back by a steel chair wielded by Nightdruid! Nightdruid tosses the chair over to his rising partner, who instinctually waffles Dam across the skull.]
JT: Dammit! Nightdruid should be disqualified!
PA: No can do, Jackie. Not only is it a tables match, but all sorts of furniture can be used!
[Nightdruid reaches over and grabs one of the remaining tables, folds it up, and slides it under the bottom rope. A groggy Brimstone grabs the table and unfolds it. As he does so, Nightdruid hops up to the ring apron and starts to climb in...]
JT: GRABBED by Jrollins! Jrollins just yanked Nightdruid down from the apron and is starting to pummel him.
PA: And now he's slamming Nightdruid's head into the steel guardrail! That's also an illegal move, Jackie! There's no angels here- just one druid and a mutant goat.
[And that druid is eating cement, as Jrollins stomps on the back of his head. Jrollins reaches down to pick up Nightdruid...
JT: Now it's Brimstone using the chair, reaching through the ropes to blast it over Jrollins' skull! Brimstone throws the chair back into the ring and reaches out to grab Jrollins... DAM WITH AN ENZUIGIRI!
PA: Dam's pulling Brimstone back into the ring- by the hair, I might point out- as Jrollins and Nightdruid lie down on the floor.
[Dam fires off a series of stiff forearms at Brimstone, then delivers a standing dropkick that takes the big man down. On the outside, Nightdruid gets to his feet first, but as he picks up Jrollins, the big man of the Firewalkers clotheslines Nightdruid. Jrollins Irish whips Nightdruid into the steel guardrail. In the ring, Dam grabs Brimstone and places him on the unfolded table.]
JT: Dam hops up to the second turnbuckle... elbowdrop onto Brimstone!
PA: But it doesn't break the table! Dam's lack of weight stopped this match from being tied! *phew!*
JT: Phil, did you bet on this match too?!
PA: *whistles innocently*
[Referee Rob Morton watches the action closely as Dam hops up for a second elbowdrop. This time, Brimstone rolls off the table before Dam can leap, then rolls under the table. As Dam hops off the turnbuckle, Brimstone tackles Dam and begins pummeling him. Outside the ring, Jrollins bodyslams Nightdruid, then takes a few steps back, signalling for a running clothesline. He charges...]
JT: Drop toehold by Nightdruid! And Jrollins hits the steel steps face first!
PA: The can make a man ugly real quick. Good thing Jrollins didn't have anything to lose in the first place.
[Brimstone starts blatantly choking out Dam, causing a count by Rob Morton. Nightdruid lifts up a bleeding Jrollins and places him on the table outside the ring. Dam stuns Brimstone with an elbow to the breadbasket, then delivers a superkick to Brimstone, sending him backwards. Nightdruid climbs up to the ring apron- then starts climbing up the cornerpost.]
PA: Geez, the action is back and forth between these two brawls!
JT: Dam grabs Brimstone- neckbreaker! He tries for an anklelock...kicked off! And... LOOK AT NIGHTDRUID!
[Nightdruid reaches the top rope and leaps off...
...delivering a beautiful 450' splash...
...right onto the table below...
...where Jrollins was a moment ago.]
JT: MISSED! ROLLINS ROLLED OFF IN TIME!
PA: What?! No way, kid! My Little Pony's hand was CLEARLY still on the table when he fell off at the moment of impact! That counts in my book!
JT: You're seeing things as usual, Phil. Besides, the ultimate decision is in Rob Morton's hands...and I think he was too busy with Brimstone and Dam to see what happened!
[Brimstone is arguing with Morton right now, pointing at the table's wreckage and the two bodies below. Morton, however, just shakes his head firmly.]
Morton: NO GOOD! The match continues!
[POP! Brimstone bellows with rage, but the referee refuses to budge on his call. However, with the Smelly One so focused on the official, he has forgotten two important things...
...Dam is up...
...and has the steel chair!]
PA: Disqualify him, Morton! Do your job!
JT: Weren't you the one who pointed out that "all sorts of furniture" could be used in this match, Phil?
PA: Not IN the ring! Outside the ring, it's OK!
JT: You're really reaching there, Phil...
[Dam raises the chair a third time...
...and the big Samoan staggers back, blood now streaming from his nose. A fourth chairshot finally leaves the Legionnaire stumbling and slumped over the table in the ring.]
JT: Brimstone might have a hard head, but even HE can't withstand four straight chairshots!
[Seeing his partner in trouble, ND rolls into the ring and charges at Dam. But the young Firewalker hears the warning from the crowd in time and tosses the chair at Nightdruid...]
PA: Caught! HA!
[...then NAILS the chair Nightdruid is holding with a spinning heel kick right to the face! CROWD POP!]
PA: Dam dragging Nightdruid over to the table now. He's...putting him next to Brimstone?
JT: Jrollins is back up! And he's heading for the top rope!!
PA: Oh [BLEEP]!
[With a showman's flourish, Dam gestures at his fellow Firewalker, then at the two Legionnaires. Jrollins takes a deep breath...and leaps!
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"
"HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!"]
JT: SKY TWISTER PRESS ON BOTH MEMBERS OF LEGION BY JROLLINS!!! What impact!!!
PA: Gravity was NOT Legion's friend there! Yeep!
JT: Both Brimstone and Nightdruid went through that table!
PA: Maybe so, kid, but that doesn't mean the Firewalkers have won! Only one table was broken there! ONE TABLE!
[Indeed, much to the disappointment of the fans, Rob Morton signals that despite both Legionnaires going through the same table, the score is now tied at three tables a piece. In the ring, three men lie tangled together in an unmoving heap. The sole survivor of the mess is Dam and he starts to look around the immediate area, a confused expression suddenly on his face.]
JT: Dam's the only one up and about! Legion's at his mercy!
PA: So what's that idiot waiting for? As much as I hate to say it, all he has to do is put Nightdruid or Brimstone through one more ta--
[Jackie and Phil look at each other, then around ringside, then back again.]
JT: All the tables are broken!
PA: And KEW didn't have any backups ready just in case?! Sheesh!
[By this time, Dam has rolled outside and is looking under the ring for a spare table. Meanwhile, slowly crawling away and trying to recover is Nightdruid, having not received the full brunt of Jrollins' crash landing. Still, the smaller Legionnaire is sluggish as he too rolls out of the ring to try and grab a breather, not realizing just where one of his opponents is...]
PA: Turn around, ND...TURN AROUND!
JT: Dam sees him! Right hook by Dam...and another! He's got Nightdruid reeling...Nightdruid's trying to get away...NO GOOD!
JT: OH! Dam with the cobra clutch slam RIGHT ONTO THOSE RING STEPS!! And the Legionnaire's in trouble as he grabbing at his back. [pause] Good!
PA: What, did you put money on this too?! I knew you weren't innocent! How much?!
[The young Firewalker starts to drop repeated knees into ND's weakened back. Dam then lifts his foe to his feet, rams his back again against the steel steps and tosses him back into the ring as a grim smile starts to spread across his face.]
PA: What's he got planned?!
JT: I think he's going for the Dam Builder!
[Indeed, it does look like Dam is going for his patented Sharpshooter-style submission hold! Nightdruid howls in agony as he frantically tries to reach for the ropes.]
PA: Idiot...he can't win with a submission!
JT: It's a matter of pride, Phil...Dam made Brimstone tap out to the Dam Builder in his very first KEW match and he's now looking to do the same with his partner!
[Face etched in pain and anguish, ND struggles to grab hold of the rope to help relieve the pressure on his already injured back. But the ropes, scant inches away from his grasp, may as well be miles away as he fails to even touch them...
...and Nightdruid pounds the mat wildly as he begs to be released out of the hold! HUGE CROWD POP!!!]
JT: Nightdruid tapped out!
PA: So what?! It doesn't end the match!
[True enough, the referee is reminding Dam of that little fact. But before Dam can do anything, he finds himself grabbed from behind by the throat and lifted up high into the air...
...and crashing painfully back down courtesy of a double choke slam by one VERY pissed off Brimstone! HEEL POP!!!]
PA: The big guy's back! YES!!
[Brimstone reaches for Dam again, but this time Dam is able to stun the Smelly One with a desperation rake of the eyes! He quickly runs and bounces off the ropes with a high cross body block...
...only to be caught in midair by the big Samoan! He lifts the smaller Firewalker up, hooks his legs and falls backwards...
JT: MOUNTAIN BOMB BY BRIMSTONE!! I think he nearly caved in Dam's spine with that!
PA: With three hundred and fifty pounds landing on him?! You better believe it, kid! Guess gravity's not Dam's friend either...
[Brimstone starts to sneer, but that sneer is quickly wiped off his face by a double axehandle from Jrollins. Jrollins takes his former partner down to the mat with a Russian legsweep, then grabs a slowing rising Nightdruid and whips him into the turnbuckle!]
PA: Oof...that ain't gonna help his back much.
JT: Brimstone getting to his feet...JROLLINS WHIPS HIM INTO NIGHTDRUID!!
[The larger Firewalker then runs and leaps at both members of Legion with a running vertical splash!
PA: Brimstone managed to get out of the way in time somehow!
JT: But Nightdruid didn't!
PA: [shuddering] I reiterate: OOF!
[Jrollins and Brimstone begin tearing into each other, the momentum of their fight taking them over the ring ropes and onto the floor below. Back in the ring, Nightdruid lays crumpled again the turnbuckle while Dam is barely moving on the canvas.]
JT: Neither Dam nor Nightdruid are in any position to help out their partners.
PA: Kinda fits that it would come down to just these two if you think about it, kid.
JT: I'm still surprised no one's brought down an extra table ye--
[Jrollins suddenly SLAMS Brimstone's head against the commentators' table!]
PA: We gotta get out of here!
[Brimstone jabs a thumb into Jrollins' eye, then SLAMS his rival's head against the table as well!]
PA: No time to argue, Jackie! Women and cowards first!
[Phil pulls Jackie away from the table, just as Brimstone and Jrollins pull each other on top of it! The two big men rock each other with massive fists. Jrollins rams his head into Brimstone's already bloodied nose. Brimstone catches Jrollins with a savage chop to the throat.
The two men's determination and relentlessness is unquestionable. Where lesser men surely would have yielded, these two former friends and partners still push on. The Cleveland crowd buzzes with anticipation, cheering their favorite on. Something has to give...
...but tables aren't the only things with breaking points. And hatred can drive a man just as much as accolades.]
JT: Brimstone trying for the suplex...BLOCKED by Jrollins! Jrollins with the attempt....NO! He tries again--LOW BLOW BY BRIMSTONE! And he's got him doubled over!!!
HUGE HEEL POP!!!!]
PA: FISHERMANBUSTER!!! FISHERMANBUSTER!!! IT'S ALL OVER!!! YEEHAW~!!!
((DING DING DING))
MC: Here are your winners...and NEW KEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS...LEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!
JT: A hard fought match on both sides. And as much as I hate to admit it, Legion has become our first ever tag team champions!
PA: Not only that, but Brimstone finally got out of that overbloated gloryhound's shadow once and for all! VINDICATION BABY!
[Brimstone pulls himself up out of the wreckage and spits a good sized wad onto the fallen form of Jrollins as the Quicken Arena explodes into boos! A limping Nightdruid, grinning evilly despite the pain, hands his partner one of the belts. Both members of Legion raise their newly won prizes high over their heads and sneer as they back their way up the aisle, throwing out a few choice taunts towards Dam as he finally makes his way over to where his partner lies.]
JT: Ugh, can't they be at least gracious in victory?
PA: Yeah, right. Gracious is for the weak!
JT: Well, Legion better watch out now. Now that they're the champs, they're going to have a target on their backs...and not just from the Firewalkers any more! Folks, I'm Jackie Trainor. For Phil Anderson, thanks for coming out to our first Kenzer Empire Wrestling Pay Per View! We'll see you again at Lion's Den!
[Fade to black as Dam helps console his partner...]
KENZER EMPIRE WRESTLING 2006