[Cut to the Kenzertron...the sound of a heart beat is heard...]
THE LION'S DEN - Muncie, IN
Rook picks up Danny Daniels and whips him to the ropes, then bounces off the opposite side of the ring. As Danny hits the ropes, Gamma Ray grabs his ankle from ringside. Danny looses his balance and stumbles forward. Rook instinctively grabs Danny into a front face lock and quickly drops a D.D.T. on him.
JT: Rook comes away with the win- with an assist by Gamma Ray.
GR: But most importantly, I've come to Kenzer Empire Wrestling because I finally found my next sidekick!
Rook: Are you loco? There's no way in hell I'm calling myself Rookie Boy!
THE LION'S DEN - Cedar Rapids, IA
Gamma Rays over the top entrance flashes by, showing GR "flying" to the ring. Rook approaches GR several times only to be ignored as GR climbs the ringposts to pose. Rook shakes his head in exasperation.
Rook suddenly grabs him and rolls him up in a small package! The ref flattens down to the mat and starts the count...
TORO'S GYM - California
BAL:So Rook, Gamma Ray has requested and received a rematch with you from Commissioner White. How will you approach this match differently from the last?
Rook: To be honest Al, I don't think I will have to change much. The thing is -
[Suddenly, Rook is thrown to the ground, hit from behind by Gamma Ray in full uniform. The attacker pummels Rook with punches and kicks.]
BAL: Oh my gawd!
GR: You think you can humiliate Gamma Ray? HUH?
GR: You little cheat! I'll teach you a lesson you better not forget!
[Gamma Ray fully extends his arm, on which the "Gamma Cannon" is strapped. He then takes aim at Rook, and flashes of greenish light blind the screen, while only the sounds of electricity whips, snaps and buzzes can be heard.]
BAL: Help! Somebody HELP!!
[Finally, the jolts of lime electricity cease, and the devastation created is revealed. Rook, sprawled on the floor, is inert and visibly unconscious, save for a few remnant spasms caused by the weapon. A look of pure panic is deeply etched in Al Lieberman's face.]
GR: You won't be seeing anymore of Rook for a long while! A very long while!! Gamma Ray always saves the day, and I declare this day officially saved!
THE LION'S DEN- Peoria IL
KW: KEW fans, I've been informed that Rook is presently hospitalized, and not medically cleared to compete at the present time. Medical experts speak of potential cervical and neuroligical damage caused by an abnormal type of electrocution. For the time being, doctors consider Rook is likely to make a full recovery, but can offer no timetable at the present time. Unfortunaly, as you might have guessed, this means there will be no Gamma Ray vs Rook match tonight.
THE LION'S DEN- Madison, WI
DD: [Standing in the ring] Can you believe how lucky you Wisconsin people are? First off, you get to see your hero, Danny Daniels, in all his splendor! [The crowd loudly boos] Then, in a moment, you'll also see me win a spectacular match against Rook! And as a special guest referee, the greatest super-human in the world, the only one you can depend on to save the day, Gamma Ray!
JT: What? But Rook's not even medically cleared to compete!!
GR: Thank you Denizen Danny! It's obvious this crowd doesn't deserve such a wonderful extravaganza! Ring the bell! ... Well. Err... "Ding! Ding!" heh! Heh!
THE LION'S DEN - TOPEKA, NE
The camera cuts backstage, where several medics are hoisting up a stretcher and carrying it back towards an ambulance. On the stretcher, groaning, is El Toro Azul. His left leg is in a makeshift brace and blood is running down his forehead.
BAL: El Toro Azul has been attacked, Jackie! I was preparing to interview El Toro Azul about the triple-threat loser-leaves KEW match that his nephew Rook will be part of tonight, when out of nowhere the "Heroics" attacked him!
['The Heroics' follow up with a double vertical suplex, pausing to give each other a high-five before dropping Rook.]
PA: The Heroics, back in control!
JT: Rook, getting double-teamed again. They lift him up... double atomic drop on Rook!
JT: Rook charges! He nails Daniels in the back with a dropkick, sending Daniels into Gamma Ray, knocking their heads together! Gamma Ray over the top rope!
PA: Daniels is stumbling... Rook rolls him up for an inside cradle!
DD: You can't do this! I'm Danny Daniels! I'm 'Your Hero'! KEW NEEDS me! You need me! Who else in this fed can put the 'bop' in the 'bop-she-bop-she-bop'? No one but me! You can't do this! You can't do this!
KW: I can, I am, I do. And Danny Daniels... YOU'RE FIRED!
LION'S DEN-TULSA, OK
GR turns back towards Rook and receives a hard jab right on the jaw! Two more punches and Rook runs off into the ropes and back with great speed, only barely limping at this point! A clothesline quickly puts Gamma Ray flat on his back before Rooks lands an elbow drop on him! With all the momentum, Rook lifts GR back up, and kicks him in the abdomen before running back to the ropes, the limp entirely forgotten! Rook flies back, but Gamma Ray counters, flipping Rook into the air, whirling him around and into the "Gamma Power!"]
JT: Ouch! That shook the ring right to its base!
GR: I declare... [gasp] I declare this day officially saved!
LION'S DEN- EAST LANSING, MI
Rook: Gamma Ray and I are wrestling as a team tonight; so we should come to the ring as a team! Come on out, Gamma Ray!
MC: Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing for the first time ever, Gamma Ray and Rook: The Masked Men!"
[Gamma Ray begins to smile, and in a flamboyant gesture, takes off his cape. He isn't just wearing his usual tights, he's also wearing a "K.E.W.L." T-shirt! Now, the crowd genuinely pops!]
JT: Gamma Ray's wearing a Rook mask!
Rook climbs up to the top turnbuckle as GR raises Jimmy up in a vertical suplex. Rook leaps off in a moonsault while GR completes his suplex, and the luchador lands on Jimmy Taylor just as he's crashing down to the mat.
JT: Wow! And they're using team moves, too? Are we really seeing the birth of a new tag-team?
MC: And the winners of this match, Jimmy and Jack, the TAYLOR TWINS!!
[Jimmy still waves to the ecstatic crowd as Jack slowly gets back to his feet. From behind, GR hits Jimmy in the nape with the microphone, a loud "THUNK" reverberating out of the PA. GR runs towards Jack and nails him with the microphone as well, sending the 6'6" giant flying over the top rope and out of the ring as another loud "THUNK" echoes through the Jack Breslin Center's speakers!]
[GR tares off the luchador mask from his head and bitterly spits on it. Then, he glares at Rook, still sprawled on the mat as he raises the microphone to his mouth.]
[The crowd loudly boos as GR rips off the "K.E.W.L." T-shirt he was wearing throughout the match. He bends over and picks up the red luchador mask.]
GR: I knew this forced partnership would be painful torture the moment I saw tonight's bookings! But thinking back to something Lieberman said gave me an idea... "Jimmy Taylor kind of looks like Rook."
[Gamma Ray hits Jimmy with the microphone again in a loud "THUNK," and then slips the red luchador mask over his head, stuffing the blond ponytail inside the mask as best he can. Then, GR kicks Jimmy as Rook begins to get up.]
GR: Heeey! Welcome back, Rook! Don't you think Jimmy looks like you? He's got the red chicken mask, and matching pants to boot! Today, I can't hit you, Rook, but I sure can hit someone who looks like you!!
[Kicks Jimmy three more times.]
GR: Look at your future, Rook! [Kicks Jimmy] That's what you're gonna be next time we meet in the ring! A pathetic, broken little man!
[Rook can only make threatening gestures at GR while Jimmy suffers through a few more kicks. The crowd is still engaged in an uninterrupted chorus of boos.]
Rook: ¡Punta! ¡Usted cobarde!
GR: You can't touch me! You can't beat me, and tonight, you can't even lay a finger on me! That's right! Ha! Ha! I declare this day officially SAVED!
[Tight face shot of Gamma Ray]
GR: At Cold War Rising, I WILL save the day!
[tight face shot on Rook]
Rook: At Cold War Rising, your day is over.
[The Kenzertron fades to black as we take it back to ringside...]
MASK VERSUS MASK
NUMBER ONE CONTENDER'S MATCH
written by Flouzemaker
[The arena's lights are dimmed, but it's not long before the Cleveland fans come alive in a sea of screams and cheers as they recognize Rook's theme, “Cucarachas Enojadas” by Tito & Turantula blaring through the PA. Through an explosion of flash pots, Rook springs onto the stage! He points at the crowd, then points at the sky. Flash-bangs and sparklers go off and he heads for the ring. He makes a detour to shake a hand or two, and even kisses one lucky girl who practically weeps with joy before he bolts towards the squared circle in a run, slapping every hand he sees along the way.]
[Rook slides under the bottom rope and rolls into the ring before springing back to his feet with grace and agility. He climbs to the top rope and raises his hands, chanting the lyrics of his theme song to the fans' applause.]
JT: The Cleveland crowd is loving him, Phil! Clearly, they're hoping for a Rook win tonight!
PA: They're all idiots, the lot of them! Nothing good ever came out of Cleveland! Of all the cities we could have held Cold War Rising in, Cleveland's the worst choice! It doesn't rock, it's rock bottom!
JT: Cleveland is Katie White's hometown.
PA: Oh. [Awkward pause] Like I said, Cleveland is awesome.
[The crowd cheers, Rook back flips to the center of the ring, and the four ring posts explode in a glorious blaze of colors!]
JT: Rook's now preparing for his opponent's arrival for what promises to be a very grueling match!
PA: Grueling, maybe, but so simple even these fans can understand the rules. There are none! Take off your opponent's mask and you win!
[The lights are dimmed again, and this time, GR's theme is heard, accompanied by a deafening chant of boos and jeers. As the words “Watch out!” are sung, the whole arena is lighted again, by a succession of lime and gold strobe lights.]
PA: And here's the man who'll save the day and win this bout, Gamma Ray!
[As if waiting for Phil's cue, GR confidently strides out through the curtains and onto the stage, radiating with arrogance and disdain. Miking his cape flap, he struts towards the ring, only sometimes halting his progression to colorfully insult any fan insolent enough to wear a “K.E.W.L” T-shirt.]
PA: There are no DQs in this match, and that means Gamma Ray can freely use all of his superpowers! He's winning for sure!
JT: I don't know, Phil. Rook can handle a no DQ match, but you're forgetting something. Rook's mask is tightly laced behind his head. Gamma Ray's mask looks like it's much easier to remove. I think only a velcro strip holds it in place.
PA: Thanks to his superpowers, velcro is more than enough to keep the Irradiated One's mask safely on! He's winning!
JT: He doesn't have superpowers!
[In the ring, GR drops to one knee and fully spreads out his cape with his arms, and a concentric pattern of lights illuminate the ring until the four ring posts explode again! The theme ends and only the loud boos of the crowd remains.]
JT: Keep in mind that this match isn't only about the wrestlers' masks, it also determines who will be facing "Mr Bollywood" Ravi Kapoor for the KEW Heavyweight Championship! Meanwhile, referee Curtis O'Brien calls for the bell to start the match!
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
PA: Heroically, Gamma Ray wastes no time and lunges for Rook!
JT: Who counters with a drop toe hold!
[GR's quickly back on his feet and on the charge again, but this time, Rook welcomes him with a quick snap mare. Undeterred, GR springs back and, this time, Rook sends him flying across the ring with a hip toss.]
JT: Rook's too quick, and Gamma Ray rolls out of the ring, with Rook hot on his tail!
[Outside the ring, Gamma Ray flees, turning around every ring post while Rook gains some ground. Suddenly, GR grabs ring announcer Maureen Carter and shoves her towards Rook, who catches her in his arms.]
JT: For crying out loud! Doesn't Gamma Ray have any class whatsoever?
[While GR slides into the ring, Maureen, thankful, kisses Rook on the cheek.]
PA: Wow. I never thought I'd one day wish I were in Rook's shoes.
[Heartened, Rook rolls back into the ring, but GR was waiting, and the “superhero” welcomes him with a shower of kicks! Then, he drops to his knees and applies a solid armlock that sends jolts of pain through the luchador's arm. Rook tries to fight back but GR's grip is firm. The match's pace considerably slowed down, and the Cleveland crowd isn't all too happy about it! But Rook finally manages to get to his knees, and while GR's still holding on to the armlock, the Californian forces both men to stand up. Desperately now, GR tries to reach for Rook's mask with his unoccupied left hand, but it only gives Rook the opportunity to back flip around GR's arm, reversing the hold!]
JT: And now Rook pushes Gamma Ray forward, grabs his head and applies a bulldog! The fans love it!
PA: Yay. How delightful.
[While GR's on all fours, Rook charges the ropes and comes flying back with a low dropkick right to the head! He follows with a beautiful flip leg drop, now fully imposing his own rhythm on the match! Back on his feet, Rook points to the crowd, and, hearing their cheers, bounces into the ropes again. On the rebound, he flips into a jaw dropping handspring splash, crashing right on top of GR! Crowd pop!]
JT: Rook's putting on a cruiser weight clinic here tonight! He's pulling all the stops for Cold War Rising!
PA: I'd rather see that kind of stuff from twelve year old anorexic Romanian gymnasts at the Olympics!
JT: And he's going for Gamma Ray's mask!
[The Californian grabs at his opponent's mask, but the Irradiated One's self-preservation instincts kick in and he swings his arms wildly, batting away the threat. Rook abandons his attempt and gives GR a knee to the head instead.]
PA: How could Rook think he'd remove a superheros' mask so early?
JT: It's only holding in place with a velcro strip, Phil! Removing it as fast as possible is the smartest thing to do!
[The crowd behind him, Rook lifts GR to his feet, and hooks him up in a suplex. As he's about to lift the superhero up, GR hooks Rook's leg and blocks the move. He then reverses it with a suplex of his own! In the air, however, Rook slips out of the hold and lands on his feet, behind GR, and attempts a German suplex. But the shifty superhero has another counter in his bag of tricks! Before Rook can lift him up and backwards, he pulls him down in a headlock takedown!]
PA: Jeez! I can't even count the counters anymore! And the Irradiated One goes for the chicken mask!
JT: It's not a chicken mask, it's a red rook mask!
PA: But I don't see a chess piece on it!
JT: A rook is also a bird, Phil.
[GR does attempt to remove the red mask, but with both of his hands, Rook makes the task of reaching the laces impossible. Instead, GR applies a half nelson, then a cobra clutch and Rook can't slip out of it. GR raises Rook up, and propels him downwards in a cobra clutch slam! When the crowd objects, GR flips them off with a little too much vigor and enthusiasm, giving Rook enough time to get back to his feet. But the Irradiated One instantly grabs him in a headlock and, with his free hand, once again tries to untie the laces that hold Rook's mask safely in place!]
PA: Now that's some REAL tactics, Jackie!
JT: But you can't hold a proper headlock with only one arm! Look! Rook's countering with a back drop!
[As Rook executes his back drop, GR flips out of the maneuver in mid-air and lands on his feet behind the Californian! A belly to back suplex later, and GR is back in control. He kicks Rook's head while he's down, and furthers his offense with a leg drop! He rolls around Rook and grabs him firmly by the legs, pushes himself backwards and send the luchador flying through the air and into the top turnbuckle with a slingshot! As Rook stumbles backwards from the impact, GR grabs him from behind and sets him across his shoulders. Moments later, Rooks falls face first towards the mat in GR's signature Fireman's Carry DDT! As he stands up, GR raises his right hand high and thumps on his chest with the other!]
GR: I ALWAYS SAVE THE DAY!!
JT: Suddenly things are looking fairly grim for Rook! But Gamma Ray shouldn't waste his time taunting the crowd like this!
PA: Rook's cooked! What's a little taunting going to change? You see? Gamma Ray's already at work untying Rook's ugly chicken mask!
JT: For the last time, it's not a chicken! Besides, Rook bats him away!
[Revising his plan, GR swings at Rook in a punch attempt, but the smaller wrestler dodges out of the way, and counters with an arm drag that sends the superhero across the ring! As GR gets back to his feet, Rook knocks him back down with a rolling wheel kick! Both men get to their feet as fast as they can, Rook the faster of the two. The luchador grabs GR's arm and whips him towards the rope, but the move is countered and Rook is Irish whipped instead! As his opponent rebounds from the cables, GR attempts to catch him but gets surprised by a perfectly executed headscissors takedown!]
JT: Rook's offense is looking impressive!
PA: Impressive to circus amateurs, sure! Nobody here paid to see an idiot jump around like a monkey! It's only a matter of moments until the Irradiated One regains the advantage!
JT: Gamma Ray might not regain the advantage. Rook just executed a nifty rolling butterfly lock and he's applying pressure, sapping Gamma Ray's energy!
PA: Can you really fatigue a superhero with a submission hold? I don't think so!
JT: If the superhero in question isn't an actual superhero, yes!
PA: Well, even if GR were to tap out, it wouldn't remove his mask!
[Hoping he drained a little bit of fighting spirit out of GR, Rook breaks the hold, only to vault through the air and crash back down atop GR with a stunning moonsault splash! He reaches for GR's mask, but the latter's still fighting back. Instead, Rook lands an elbow drop, and while his opponent's still sprawled face down on the mat, he hooks GR's legs around his own, grabs both his arms and swings back, applying a luchador classic: the Mexican stretch! The crowd can't help but cheer every time GR lets out a yelp of pain!]
PA: Hah! Gamma Ray wouldn't even have the opportunity to tap out in this hold!
JT: That's not the point! Rook's bringing the pain, and sapping even more of Gamma Ray's energy.
PA: Well, I don't see a mask coming off with this move, do you?
JT: I think we might!
[Rook frees his right arm and tries to reach for GR's mask!]
PA: Ha! Ineffective! Gamma Ray's right arm is freed to, and he's blocking access to his mask with it!
[ Rook has little choice but to break the hold. He jumps to his feet, GR clutching his sore back and neck as he slowly does the same. Rook quickly punches him, and flies into the ropes again, bouncing back with full momentum. But, out of nowhere, GR grabs him, spins him through the air and slams him powerfully down to the mat with his devastating GAMMA POWER!]
JT: Wow! That came out of nowhere!
PA: YES!! Ha! Ha! It's all over, now! Rook's mask's coming off for sure!
JT: It would if Gamma Ray wasn't leaving the ring! Where's he going?
[Rolling out of the ring, GR heads straight for Maureen Carter, or rather, her chair. He folds it, and clasping his sore neck again, hops back into the ring with a shiny steel weapon. The crowd loudly boos.]
JT: I just don't like where this is going, Phil!
PA: Gamma Ray predicted it, Rook's going to be a pathetic, broken little man!
[Standing next to him, GR grabs Rook's hands and lays them out flat on the mat, one on the other! He takes a firm hold on the chair, takes aim, and swings down!]
[CLANG! The crowd's boos intensify!]
PA: Right on Rook's hands! I LOVE IT!
JT: The Cleveland fans disagree!
[GR grabs Rook's hands again and places them inside the chair's folding mechanism! Then, with great vigor, he stomps on the improvised torture device. Jolts of pain race through Rook's nervous system and he screams out, rolling around on the mat. GR kicks his head and taunts the fans as they scorn him.]
JT: Ouch! That's got to hurt!
PA: Ever slam your car door on your hand, Jackie?
JT: It's so painful, you can't even use your hands properly for days!
PA: Exactly! Gamma Ray's a genius! Rook's hands are crushed! What is he gonna take a mask off with, his feet?
[GR is still methodically demolishing his opponent's hands, and he stomps on them with his boot: the left, then the right. The process leaves Rook rolling around in pain. Before the luchador can roll too far away, GR firmly places the chair under his arm and falls atop Rook in a steel-reinforced elbow drop! Heel pop!]
JT: Rook looks like he's out cold! I really don't like the turn this match is taking!
PA: Funny, my own enjoyment is unparalleled!
[GR's not done quite yet, however. Now, he pulls Rook up to the ropes, and balances the Californian's throat on the top rope. Then, he points to the sky while proudly slapping his chest and heads to the top rope, bringing the folded chair with him!]
JT: My God! Is Gamma Ray trying to decapitate him?
PA: You knew it was going to happen, Jackie! Rook makes midgets look like giants! He's no business in a wrestling ring!
[Standing on the 3rd rope, GR raises the chair way up high. He takes aim at Rook's head and leaps off! But it all unravels in a split second. Someway, somehow, Rook slips off the topmost cable, and GR powerfully swings at the ropes. The chair bounces back and GR eats his own steel! The crowd cheers!]
JT: How did Rook get out of the way? I thought for sure he was unconscious! What a show of resiliency!
PA: Resiliency? The Irradiated One just got a chair to the head and he's still standing up straight on the apron! That's resiliency!
[Sure, he might still be standing, but GR's empty gaze betrays him. He's knocked out! Rook sprints in the opposite direction and rebounds in the ropes. Right after doing so, he flips and twists in the air in a handspring and rotates back to a vertical position with increased momentum. The two men finally collide when the back of Rook's elbow solidly connects with GR's cranium. The Irradiated One falls off the ring apron, and definitely not in the right direction! His descent finally ends when the ringside barrier abruptly breaks his head's fall in a reverberating thunk! The crowd cheers even louder than before when the rest of GR's body collapses down the floor!]
JT: Wow. This can only spell trouble for Gamma Ray!
PA: And he's bleeding, Jackie! He's bleeding red! Red!
JT: What? Were you expecting another color?
PA: Yes! I mean of course not!
[Rook gets to his knees, trying to avoid the use of his aching hands. Hooking the ropes with his arm, he stands up and heads to the outside. It's plainly visible that his hands cause him a great deal of pain when he grimaces as he lifts GR and rolls him into the ring. Still, knowing that he's so close to the end, he slides into the ring after his bleeding opponent.]
PA: It's so sad to see such a promising match take such a disastrous turn!
JT: Think of it as karma, Phil.
[Now, fighting through the pain, Rook manages to unclasp GR's mask. It's a thankfully simple task ; the velcro strip is undone, and both sides of the mask flab on each side of GR's head.]
JT: And we have a winner! What a relief to see Rook become number one contender! He really deserves this win, and the Cleveland crowd vocally agrees!
PA: The mask isn't off.
JT: It almost is, Rook is pulling it off entirely as we speak. His heart and determination paid off on this night!
PA: The mask still isn't off. Rook's pulling for sure, but I think his hands might be too weak.
JT: Still, Gamma Ray is out cold and bleeding profusely. Damaged hands or not, Rook is... something is amiss, Phil.
[Rook is dumbfounded. The sides of GR's mask are hanging down on either side of his crimson head like the ears of a beagle, yet... it's not coming off!]
PA: Yeah, it's like the thing is glued to his face!
[Though they can't be seen, we can somehow hear Jackie and Phil looking at each other, a look of comprehension dawning on their faces.]
JT: Oh, my God! IT IS glued to his face!! What kind of idiot glues his mask to his face!
PA: The kind that doesn't want to lose a Mask VS Mask match! There's still hope!
JT: And what kind of powerful glue is that? Rook's really pulling on this thing, now!
PA: Super-powered glued?
[Indeed, even with damaged fingers Rook pulls as hard as he can, and yet the mask still won't budge, solidly stuck to GR's face! And meanwhile, GR's starting to regain some form of consciousness. Before he can get up, Rook stiffly kicks him back down, then hastily heads straight for the top turnbuckle.]
JT: If Gamma Ray's mask really is super-glued, Rook's gonna have to make sure he's completely unconscious if he wants to pry it off his face!
PA: See? That's why Gamma Ray's winning this thing!
JT: The man's half dead! He can't win this thing! Especially with Rook now signaling for his MOONSAULT SPLASH from the top rope!
[The crowd cheers and Rook leaps off, gracefully flips through the air and, crashing back down, lands right on GR's lifted knees!]
JT: Where did Gamma Ray find the reserves to counter Rook's finisher like that??
PA: HA! Gamma Ray IS a superhero!! Rook's feeling the pain now! Oh man, that must've hurt so much!
[While Rook is sprawled on the mat, GR weakly crawls out of the squared circle and feebly reaches for the ring apron.]
JT: What is Gamma Ray doing? One moment he looks like he could come back into this thing, and the next, he's reaching for the apron! Trying to hide, I bet, like he usually does!
PA: I don't know what he's doing, but Rook's rolling around in pain! I especially enjoy THAT!
[Rook finally staggers to his feet, but he can't see GR anywhere. He walks to one side of the ring, and finds nothing. He makes his way to the other, and spots his nemesis, rummaging around on all fours. Rook points to the top turnbuckle again and the crowd goes wild!]
JT: Don't tell me he's going for another one??
PA: A moonsault to the outside? Now I'm really smelling trouble!
[The luchador dexterously hops up to the top turnbuckle, and, in an instant, leaps backwards into a MOONSAULT SPLASH down to ringside! But GR lifts his arm...]
JT: THE GAMMA CANNON!!
[It happens so fast that it's barely comprehensible. Rook vaults in the air and falls for what seems like an eternity. A blindingly jagged bolt of greenish light spews from GR's extended hand, and everything connects. In a final sickening crash, Rook falls on top of GR. The crowd is alive with “holy [bleep]!” chants, and both men are out cold. Excluding the screaming fans, all is motionless. Inert, save for a small few involuntary spasms shaking Rook's body.]
JT: HOLY [bleep]!
PA: Jackie! Kids could be watching!! Yet, I agree. Holy [bleep]!
JT: Tell me Gamma Ray missed with that thing! Tell me he missed!
PA: I could, but I'd be lying!
JT: Stop grinning, Phil! Do you even remember the last time Gamma Ray used that weapon?? It sent Rook to the hospital for weeks! With nerve damage!! And BURNS!!!
PA: Oh no, now you're worrying me!
PA: What if a bit of the blast caught Gamma Ray, too? Now THAT would be a real shame!
JT: You're despicable!
PA: But look at Rook's abdomen! There's a big red splotch! Ha! Ha!
JT: I hope it's not as bad a burn as last time! And what if Gamma Ray tries to use that damned cannon again?
PA: Unfortunately, I don't think that'll happen, Jackie. The Gamma Cannon seems pretty broken. There's a piece over there, and a piece over there, and a piece over there...
JT: Yeah, I get it! Tell me this, then. How is the match supposed to go on? Neither of them has moved!
PA: That's why luchador wrestling is wrong. All those dangerous moves? You see the result right here!
JT: Were you even watching, Phil? Gamma Ray used a potentially lethal weapon, and you're calling Rook dangerous? Sure, high risk moves are just that: high risk. Kids definitely shouldn't try any of them at home.
PA: Thanks for making my point for me!
JT: I'm not done! A moonsault and a Gamma Cannon are in two very distinct and different classes of danger! Using a super-powered tasergun is much, MUCH more dangerous!
PA: You're such a drama queen!
JT: Keep going, and I'm unplugging your microphone!
PA: It looks like Gamma Ray's getting back up first, thanks to his limitless intestinal fortitude!
[GR is up first, but his health definitely didn't improve. He has great difficulty maintaining his balance, and remains a bloody mess of a man. In a state akin to a drunken stupor, he laboriously manages to lift Rook up and push him into the ring. Still, he looks better than his opponent. The sight of Rook recalls a carcass only sometimes animated by subtle spasms. GR crawls up the ring steps and into the ring.]
JT: Quite frankly, I knew this match could get ugly, but I didn't expect it to be this bad.
PA: Funny, I could easily guess that Rook would end up this way!
[With a great deal of effort, GR manages to pull Rook further away from the ring ropes. Then he covers the Californian, and feebly gestures for the pin fall.]
PA: Gamma Ray's definitely in a worse condition than I thought. The poor man must've had his bell rung pretty good!
JT: At least he's moving!! Look at Rook!
PA: I don't see Rook bleeding.
JT: HE GOT ZAPPED BY THE GAMMA CANNON!!
PA: Get a grip, Jackie! It's just Rook!
[After a while, GR realizes that the referee isn't counting. He looks up towards Curtis O'Brien, who mimes an unmasking. GR's head tilts back in comprehension. Only by using the ropes for leverage does he manage to rise again. Then, he lifts up a barely responsive Rook, and propels him into one of the ring corners. Rook's now hugging the turnbuckles, unconscious, back facing the ring and head resting on the topmost corner padding. GR stumbles towards him and attempts to untie the luchador's mask.]
PA: It's not a spectacular ending, but I think you'll agree that it's a good things this carnage comes to an end, right Jackie?
JT: I was hoping Rook would win, but yeah. If it makes this massacre stop, I agree. I hope an ambulance is nearby!
[GR's hands are slick with his own blood, and he often has to wipe some out of his eyes. His progress is dreadfully slow. Yet, Rook is still inert. A steady stream of boos rises from the Quicken Arena.]
PA: Quite frankly, there could be no other possible conclusion to this match. Everyone knows the Irradiated One's a vastly superior wrestler!
JT: Rook would have won this match already if someone hadn't glued his mask in place!
PA: That's exactly why Gamma Ray is the superior man! Brain power!
[Eventually, the long lace that keeps Rook's red mask tied is completely pulled off, and GR throws it to the vehemently booing crowd.]
PA: And there we have it! The man to face Ravi Kapoor for the KEW Heavyweight Championship is Gamma Ray!
[As GR grabs Rook's mask, the latter suddenly takes hold his assailant by the head, pushes himself off the turnbuckles and swings toward the ring's center, executing a neckbreaker! Huge crowd pop!]
JT: YES!!! Rook's back!
PA: I don't know from where he pulled out a neckbreaker, but he's back to a complete state of inertia now. The little creep is unconscious again!
JT: Much like Gamma Ray.
[Everything in the squared circle lies still. Then, like a snail in slow motion, GR crawls out of the ring, reaching for the steel chair. Then, he groggily stumbles back inside. But by the time the “superhero” completes his journey, Rook has also managed to stumble to his feet, his mask precariously still on his head. His hands are aching, his belly feels ablaze, and by the odd way he moves, he still hasn't regained control of all his muscles, kudos to the Gamma Cannon. Behind him, GR is taking aim.]
JT: Not the chair again! How much uglier does this thing need to get?
PA: Rook should take off his own mask while he still can!
[Armed with the chair, GR swings away! Simultaneously, Rook jumps and spins in the air, executing a spinning wheel kick! His leg hits the chair which flies right back into GR's face! Exhausted and hurt, Rook crawls over to GR and seizes his mask again. Even through the intense pain, he pulls, and pulls, and desperately pulls some more!]
JT: The mask doesn't budge! Don't you find it creepy that a man would krazy-glue his mask to his FACE?
PA: It's genius! It just means there's no way he can lose!
JT: And how's is he going to remove the mask after the match?
PA: I don't know. I think nail polish remover is supposed to work.
JT: Well, I hope Rook brought some to the ring!
PA: Yes, and maybe he brought lipstick and mascara, too! It'll probably improve his maskless look!
[Rook's still futilely pulling on the mask when suddenly GR pokes him in the eye. Before Rook can regain his vision, he's raised up and sent crashing down with a spinebuster! Still looking like a drunk zombie, the bleeding superhero bends down and steps between the ropes and begins his ascent to the top turnbuckle.]
JT: Gamma Ray's almost there, but now, Rook's getting up!
[Rook looks like he's in very bad shape, but he's on his feet and also climbing up the same ring corner. All of his movements are somewhat hindered, like he suffered some nerve damage from the Gamma Cannon that reduces his mobility. If GR looks like a drunk zombie, Rook looks like a miniature Frankenstein. Still, the luchador manages to make his way up, even while GR feebly punches at him! Now atop the ring corner, the two men start exchanging punches, both exhausted but driven by sheer willpower. GR hits Rook on the jaw, and Rook punches back! But the jab deals more pain to Rook's hand than it does to GR's head! Seizing the opportunity, GR thumbs Rook in the eye and shoves his head between his legs. Then, he grabs Rook firmly by the waist and hoists him up to his shoulders!]
JT: Oh no! Not a powerbomb from up there!!
PA: Oh yes! Can you hear the fat lady sing? I can!
[GR shoves Rook off, but the luchador holds on with a scissor lock, and, in mid-air, counters the maneuver into a rana from the third rope! As the men are falling, Rook grabs GR's mask and releases the scissor lock while they're spinning over! A disturbing ripping sound is heard as GR crashes down to the other side of the ring in a bloody heap. With just as strong an impact, Rook crashes in the middle of the ring, his mask half removed and ajar on his head...
...but in his damaged hand rests the superhero's mask!]
JT: ROOK WINS! ROOK WINS!!!
PA: What the hell?
JT: Wow! I can't believe it, and neither can the Cleveland fans! Rook's now on a path for gold! The fans are on their feet, cheering and applauding! And while Rook isn't moving yet, judging by the smile on his face, I'd say he's hearing it all and enjoying every second of it!
PA: How stupid are those people! Don't they get it? Don't they realize the full atrocity of what took place?
JT: What atrocity? Rook won! He's KEW's second number one contender, set to face Ravi Kapoor for the Championship! And what a confrontation that promises to be! Rook has overcome every obstacle in his path with courage, resolve, and resiliency! And now he has a chance to crown it all with gold!
PA: But Gamma Ray doesn't have a mask anymore! He's unmasked! Who's gonna save the day now? Who will save us, our children, and our families when they're in danger? No one! Gamma Ray can't be a superhero if everyone knows his secret identity!! Oh crap, can you see his face?
JT: No, I can't see his face. He's face first on the mat, and such a bloody mess of a man that, no, I can't see his face. But don't be over dramatic about it, Phil! No one actually believes that Gamma Ray is a superhero, nor that he ever saved so much as a stray cat! He made one critical mistake over the months: underestimating Rook! And tonight, Rook just proved cruiserweights can topple bigger men. He just proved he's one of the most talented wrestlers on earth! He just proved that he isn't too small for great accomplishments. He's KEW's newest number one contender, and he fully deserves the honor!
PA: Your partisanship disgusts me.
[Now Rook slowly rises to his feet, and sets his mask back on straight. He heads to the turnbuckle, climbs to the second rope and raises his arms, also raising GR's mask as the crowd goes completely bonkers! Rook descends and heads for the opposite corner, forgetting all pain in the celebration of his victory.]
JT: Rook could be our first champion, Phil! Can you see it?
PA: In a nightmarish apocalyptic hell, yes!
[Realizing that he's still clutching GR's mask, Rook takes a closer at it. As if it had stung him, he instantly he drops it, his eyes filled with the deepest kind of revulsion!]
PA: Ha! I'm not the only sickened person here! Rook's just as distraught as I am!
JT: Phil, I think Rook reacted to what he saw in the mask.
PA: What do you mean?
JT: The glue, Phil.
PA: Oh... [BLEEP]!
JT: We've got some medics coming down for Gamma Ray....oh, he's STILL covering his face even as they're trying to get him out of there!
PA: Can you blame him? This is worse than David losing his hair!
JT: Well, he's going to have to let them see it sooner or later if he ever wants that injury treated! Folks, they're starting to bring the tables down for our main event...the Seven Tables of Fear match for the KEW Tag Team belts, coming up NEXT!