Hardkore World Title Holders

[Lucifer Jones]

(LuJo's locker room. Sitting on the oak bench by his lockers, he sits with head down, smoking a cigarette while the Hardkore World doctor dabs cooling gel on the nasty steel fence shaped burn marks criss-crossing his chest and back. Bloody sweat drips off his face as he slowly shakes his head in frustration. He mumbles something under his breath.)

Doctor: Hmmm?

LuJo: I said, perhaps the electrofied steel cage was a BAD idea.

Doctor: *with a needle and some thread stuck between his teeth* Perhaps.

LuJo: Who asked you anyway? Asshole.

/fade to crap...

[~Hardkore Jonnie Valentine~]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Coming up next is the dream match between two of the biggest names in female wrestling. The well traveled Yuku Shiro takes on three time Hardkore World Women's Champion, Tamara Sanchez.

["Invincible" by Pat Benatar plays and the audience leaps to their feet. They run to amass along the aisleway and railing. Yuku Shiro walks out and is nearly blown back by the pop. She walks out and slaps a few lucky fans' hands down the way to the ring]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro has won alot of matches, and she's won alot of titles. But this match and this title, is all she's focused on tonight. Yuku has wrestled and defeated men, and women alike, as we see from her long list of championships and the WXW Xtreme Bombshell title over her shoulder.

Phil Blauer: That don't mean shit. (slaps his Xtreme Commentator title belt over his shoulder)

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall a 30 minute time limit and it is for the HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Ron Reid. Featuring first, from Tokyo, Japan; Standing 6 feet tall; Weighing 150 pounds; She is The Current WXW Xtreme Bombshell Champion...YUKU SHIRO!!!"

[The audience roars but then the lights in the America West Arena start to flicker, red and blue pyro explodes. "Always" by Saliva hits and a spotlight points on Tamara Sanchez standing in the entrance. The spotlight drives up her body, and past her gold belt while she performs the Clique sign. She runs down the ramp, sliding into the ring where she jumps up the top turnbuckle holding the Hardkore World Championship over her head]

Guillermo O'Bannon: This has got to be Tammy's biggest challenge of her career. She may not look it, but she's gotta be concerned about this match more than she has with any other she's had yet in her life.

Phil Blauer: I've heard that intro so many times I could recite it if they would just put it in the prompter. Xyrynth didn't have what it takes, "Sexy" Anjanette didn't have what it takes...

Guillermo O'Bannon: They both took her title, Phil. Last time Tamara Sanchez was in this building was in August of 2005. She was in an elimination match to decide the #1 contender to the Hardkore World Women's Championship. She outlasted Vagabond, Horror Girl, and Vampira, but she and Divas Unleashed Alley still remained as the 30 minute time limit expired. On the next show, in Los Angeles, as we all know, Tamara Sanchez lost a match to Alley to decide who would be the #1 contender, but Tammy broke Alley's arm with a sledgehammer and got the title shot against "Sexy" Anjanette Turner at Hardkore Helloween 2005 anyway, winning her third Hardkore World Women's Championship.

Phil Blauer: When in doubt, break a chick's arm with a hammer. That's what my Dad always said. I think anyway, those phones are hard to hear through on visitor's day.

Yolanda Ando: Tammy is wearing black hot pants and a red top with spaghetti sleeves, appropriately saying "BITCH" on the front in black letters & red boots. The Hardkore World Women's Championship is back around her waist.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "And her opponent, from New York City; Standing 5 feet 6 inches tall; Weighing 120 pounds; She is The Current HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...TAMARA SANCHEZ!!!"

[The fans jeer and boo and she stands on the second rope, flipping them off with both hands. Ron Reid signals for the bell]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro goes to kick Tamara, but she catches Shiro's boot. Yuku swings around with an enzuigiri kick!

[The audience pops for the first move of the match. Yuku Shiro hops onto the middle rope and backflips into an asai moonsault bodypress but Tammy spin kicks her while she's upside down in mid-air! The crowd lets out a collective "Oh!"]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez irish whips Yuku into the ropes and flapjacks her into the air, but Shiro dropkicks her on the way down! Yuku steps through the ropes, and then slingshots herself onto the middle of the top rope. Springboard bulldog!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku goes for a tornado DDT, but Tamara Sanchez turns it into a spinebuster! Tammy vertical suplexes her in the center of the ring.

Phil Blauer: The champ trying to slow this match down.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez scoops Yuku up and drops her in a tombstone piledriver. She pulls her up for a powerbomb, but Yuku Shiro whips her around into a huracanrana!

[Yuku Shiro climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips into a somersault leg drop that comes down right across Tamara Sanchez's face]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fly Dragon's Tail!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro runs and leaps onto the middle of the top tope, she flips towards Shiro and catches her with a springboard blockbuster!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips into a 450 splash, but Tammy puts her knees up into Shiro's stomach!! Yuku staggers around, clutching her stomach, and Tammy takes her out of her boots with a spear!

[The America West Arena boos. Sanchez waistlocks Shiro and drops her back to her shoulders with a perfectly bridged german suplex]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...(Yuku Shiro rolls her shoulder up)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez twists Shiro's leg around into a spinning toe hold. She wrenches Shiro's foot to the side.

[Yuku Shiro falls back in pain, grabbing both sides of her hair. She then reaches up and inside cradles Sanchez]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy lifts Yuku up for a suplex but Shiro floats over and lands on her feet with an inverted facelock. Shiro drops down into a reverse DDT!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez rolls her shoulder up)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro irish whips Tammy into the turnbuckles and follows her in with a jumping spinning roundhouse kick that catches her in the face!

[The audience cheers and Tamara collapses facefirst to the mat. Shiro steps through the ropes out on to the apron. She jumps onto the top rope and springboard DDTs Sanchez]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips off into a twisting moonsault!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku climbs to the top turnbuckle again, but Tamara Sanchez runs up to meet her on the second rope. She back body drops Yuku over her shoulder to the mat below!

[Tamara Sanchez turns around on the top turnbuckle. She waits for Yuku Shiro to get up, and then flying body presses her]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez fisherman's suplexes Yuku Shiro!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro gets her shoulder up)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez wraps up Shiro's legs and turns her over into a sharpshooter. She leans back with Shiro's ankles in her hands, trying to hyperextend her knee.

[Ron Reid checks in to see if Yuku Shiro wants to tap out but she refuses. Tamara Sanchez plants her feet and pulls back on the scorpion deathlock. Yuku Shiro is finally able to crawl over and grab the bottom rope]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez breaks the sharpshooter and pulls Shiro up by her ponytail. She irish whips Shiro into the ropes, backdrops her up in the air, but Shiro dropkicks her while she's up there!

[The Phoenix audience breaks out in applause of Shiro's amazing athleticism. Shiro wipes some hair out of her face and waits for Tammy to get up. When she does, Yuku gets a running start and catches Sanchez with a tornado DDT]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro kicks Sanchez in the ribs and then whacks her across the face with a jumping roundhouse kick! She trips Sanchez with a legsweep kick. She applies a dragon sleeper with a body scissors called the Dragon Killer!

[Shiro cranks back on Tammy's head & neck while constricting her breathing with her strong legs. Ron Reid asks Tamara if she wants to tap out but she curses in Spanish]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro cinches in the Dragon Killer, rolling back to increase the pressure on Sanchez's neck. She climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a leg drop but Tammy rolls out of the way!

[The Phoenix fans boo and Tamara Sanchez lifts her up in a fireman's carry. She runs into the center of the ring with a death valley driver]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy double underhooks her arms, but Shiro backdrops her. She irish whips Sanchez into the ropes and somersaults into a dropkick!

[Yuku Shiro climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Tamara shackes the ropes and crotches her on the turnbuckle. Sanchez climbs to the second turnbuckle, grabs two handfuls of Shiro's hair and X factors her off the second rope!! The boos rock the America West Arena]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez wraps Yuku Shiro up in a tequila sunrise. She goes to work on Shiro's arm & leg, especially the knee she's been wearing down all night.

[Ron Reid crouches near both ladies and asks Shiro if she wants to submit. She shakes her head, and Tammy wrenches back on the tequila sunrise. Shiro rolls to her side and grabs the rope. Reid forces Tammy to break the tequila sunrise, but Shiro comes up limping]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro ducks under a punch and belly to back suplexes her. Tammy gets up and kicks Shiro, but Yuku catches her boot and whips around with a roundhouse kick!

[The audience applauds. Yuku Shiro limps to the top turnbuckle but Tamara Sanchez punches her and crotches her on the turnbuckle]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The three time Hardkore World Women's Champion obviously has been reviewing tapes of Yuku Shiro's match with Anjanette Turner, along with her Divas Unleashed matches and saw that Yuku makes a real habit out of jumping off the top rope. So she's tried to stop her in her tracks and go after her knee to combat that.

Phil Blauer: Right, like Tammy knows how to work a VCR.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Their called DVDs now, sir.

Phil Blauer: Your thinking of the move Tammy just pulled a couple of minutes ago, Matthew. Easy mistake.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez hops up on the second turnbuckle and huracanranas her to the mat below!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez double underhook DDTs Shiro's skull into the mat! She grabs her by the leg, spins around into another spinning toe hold and drops back into a figure four leglock!

[Yuku Shiro sits up and falls back repeatedly in pain. She grabs two fistfuls of her hair, grimacing in pain. Ron Reid asks her if she wants to submit but she can barely talk, just shake her head]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy trying to break Shiro's leg tonight, clamping down on her crossed legs. Shiro getting the audience to clap and uses their love to turn it over! Tammy crawls away but Shiro grabs her by the hair and drops her back into an Edge-u-cution!

[The fans cheer. Yuku Shiro hobbles up to the top turnbuckle and then flips into a 450 splash]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro irish whips Tammy into the ropes and catches her with a huracanrana!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro scoops Tammy up but Tammy falls behind her in an inverted facelock. She whips around into a test drive!!

[The America West Arena boos Tammy as she climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Tammy dives off into a swan dive headbutt to Yuku's face]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro gets his shoulder up)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez lifts her up into a hanging suplex and then drops down into a brainbuster! She runs into the ropes, hops onto the middle of the second rope and backflips into a lionsault!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes off with a plancha but Yuku Shiro catches her and powerslams her! Yuku Shiro climbs to the top turnbuckle and backflips into Tammy's own 7 Year Inch shooting star press!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Tamara Sanchez gets her foot on the rope)

Phil Blauer: No one wants to get pinned by their own move. Not even Hogan, and his is basically sitting down next to someone.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro limps to the top turnbuckle again, but Tamara Sanchez falls into the ropes to crotch her up there. Sanchez climbs up to the second rope and DDTs her off the second turnbuckle!!

[The audience boos. Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top rope and dives off with a spiral tap but Shiro rolls out of the way]

Phil Blauer: A see-saw battle!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro inverted facelocks Tammy and climbs to the second rope. She flips over her into a diamond dust she calls a Dragon Stunner!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro irish whips Tammy into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Sanchez double underhooks her arms and lifts her up into a kiss of death facebuster!

[Tamara Sanchez catches a kicks from Yuku Shiro, but Yuku backflips into a kick to Tammy's face. Yuku Shiro hops up rope, by rope, to the top turnbuckle]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro backflips into a gorgeous moonsault!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro steps through the ropes out on to the apron. She springboards off the top rope but falls right into a superkick by Tammy! Shiro falls into the ropes and riccochets into an RKO by Sanchez!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez fireman's carries Shiro up onto her shoulders and then sits her on the top turnbuckle. She climbs up to the second rope, but Shiro clocks her with a right hand that sends her falling to the mat! Shiro stands up on the top turnbuckle and flying spears Tammy!!

[The crowd erupts with cheers. Shiro takes a few moments to collect herself, then stands up. She limps towards the ropes, and leaps to the middle of the top rope. She springboard moonsaults Sanchez]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro inverted facelocks Tammy and lifts her up into a reverse suplex, cradles her leg and then drops her headfirst into her Life Hammer!!

[The America West Arena is deafening but turns to boos when Tammy smartly rolls out of the ring to the arena floor. Yuku Shiro kicks the ropes in frustration and then steps through the ropes to the floor]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro leans Tamara Sanchez up against the railing and hops back up to the apron. She jumps to the middle of the second rope and backflips into an asai moonsault, but Tammy moves and she just hits the railing!!

[The Phoenix fans boo. Tamara Sanchez steps back into the ring, runs into the ropes and baseball slides under the ropes into a helicopter rana on the floor!! Tammy grabs a table from underneath the ring and sets it up. She rolls Shiro onto the apron]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the apron, and DDTs Yuku through that table on the floor!!

[The boos and jeers get louder. Tammy rolls Yuku into the ring and jumps up on the apron. She springboard leg drops Shiro]

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Sanchez irish whips Shiro into the ropes, but Yuku hops onto the middle of the second rope and asai moonsault body presses her!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro hobbles up to the top turnbuckle and 540 flips into a DDT!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...(Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro atomic drops Sanchez on the turnbuckle facing the audience. She climbs up to the second rope, and inverted facelocks her. She then flips her over into a reverse superplex!!

Phil Blauer: Which she calls a Super Dragon Suplex!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Which would actually be a full nelson suplex...

Phil Blauer: She's a wrestler not a trademark lawyer.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro climbs up to the top turnbuckle and flips into a swanton bomb!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Tamara Sanchez kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro irish whips Tammy into the ropes again, dips down for a backdrop, but Sanchez flips into a Mexican Destroyer piledriver!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez lifts her up into a fisherman's suplex, but then turns it into a ki krusher piledriver!!

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy lifts her up into a styles clash and then drops down into the Phenomenal Clash!! She rolls her over into a sunset flip!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Yuku Shiro claps her legs together on Tammy's head)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tammy climbs up to the top turnbuckle and backflips into her 7 Year Inch!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...thr- (Yuku Shiro kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tamara Sanchez climbs up to the top rope for a moonsault, but Shiro pushes her butt and crotches her on the turnbuckle. Yuku Shiro inverted facelocks her and drops back into a Life Hammer off the top rope!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1...2...3!!!

[The audience leaps to their feet as "Invincible" by Pat Benatar plays. Ron Reid hands Yuku Shiro the belt and she clutches it to her chest]

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 21 minutes 44 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH, AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD WOMEN'S CHAMPION...YUKU SHIRO!!!"

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yuku Shiro wins a title that's been in existance since 1994...

["Sexy" Anjanette Turner runs into the ring and brains Shiro with a chair! Tamara Sanchez tries to attack her but Turner threatens her with the chair and she steps out to fight another day]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Anjanette Turner just attacked Yuku Shiro again, this time with a chair! She inverted facelocks Shiro and climbs up to the second rope, she hits an inverted DDT, a Turner Tornado on the chair!!

[The audience boos and Turner holds up Shiro's Hardkore World Women's title belt. She drops it on Shiro's chest and walks out]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Turner & Shiro still have some unfinished business in San Diego, where they will be locked in a steel cage!

[xpletive deleted]

Rated X: Rated X begat Cyrus and Rally, who begat Cobryn, who begat Paul Soutter. That is the history of efedding as we know it. Everything you do, you do because I did it first, then Rally and Cy copied me, and Cobryn copied them, and Soutter copied Cobby, and you copied the fat, stinkin' Aussie. I'm Rated X. I will crack your skull like a watermelon. Robert Hunglestein only wants the world title back because Syberus has it. He didn't want it when he had it, then it left him, and now he wants it more then ever. I think Prince wrote a song about it JoJo covered on the Tokyo show of Hardkore Nippon.

Rated X: What has happened to the Hardkore Womens division. I think it's time they got their own thread, maybe their own bulletin. There's a bit of confusion the way things are set up now. Someone tell Yuku Shiro beating up men is what got Raw laughed off TV 10 years ago. If she wants to face me for the American title, borrow Gojira's dick for the night. It's detachable. Sometimes he uses it on himself.

Matt Boone: I seen him.

Rated X: The last thing I'm afraid of is Dan Stein. His two weeks of silence has me shaking in my boots. James Feirce has reached the top. Don't ask me how, I was as shocked as all of you when it happened. If you remember correctly, it's what brought me out of retirement. Jonnie called and was like, "My champ's James Fierce." And I was like, "Yeah, what's with that." And he was like, "If you don't come back I'll be forced to put it on Death Gojira again." And I was like, "What about Cobryn?" And he was like, "So he can say nothing here AND in swat?" And I was like, "Oh, that's right, my bad."

Matt Boone: Can we hurry this up, I'm meeting Anj after the show for breakfast. My mom's following incase I strike out.

Rated X: I guess I'm done.

Matt Boone: Back to you Guillermo and Phil.

[Yuku Shiro]

[Cameras show Yuku Shiro limping in the back with the Hardkore World Women’s Championship over her shoulder, and a wooden baseball bat in her hand pissed beyond belief. She smacks the bat against the wall while everyone in her way, gets the hell out of her away.]

Yuku Shiro - OH ANJANETTE!! OH ANJANETTE!! WHERE ARE YA BITCH?! Momma’s here with a huge KEG of WHOOPASS for ya…WHERE ARE YA?! You wanna DDT people into steel chairs…I got a DDT for you right into a bed of spikes. Oooooooh I’m going to jail tonight…I’m going to JAIL tonight!

[Yuku turns the corner and runs in Syberus coming around the corner with the Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship over his shoulder, and Adrian Tanner Junior following behind him.]

Syberus – Excuse…

Yuku Shiro (Cuts him off) – No Excuse you bitch.

[Syberus stands there actually shocked.]

Syberus – What did you just say?

Yuku Shiro - You must think the walls are thick around here, and it wouldn’t get back to me the smack that comes out your mouth, about me. That there’s no way that I’d be good enough to carry that strap you hold, let me give you a clue “champ” the only reason why Valentine would never let me anywhere near that belt is because he wouldn’t want to go through the headache of you walking out the company from sheer embarrassment after I beat the ever living shit out of you in front of a live audience.

Syberus – You little bitch…

[Shiro SMACKS the ball bat against the wall echoing it through the hall way, backing him and Adrian Tanner up, before pointing it at them.]

Yuku Shiro - MS. BITCH to you FUCK-WAD, QUEEN OF QUEENS is a better term, and I don’t give a DAMN if you’re the current World Heavyweight Champion, because I’m the new FRANCHISE of this company, and anytime you want to DISPUTE that, there’s a ring, you and I, and we can “BANG” so to speak like it’s one night stand, foreplay is me cracking that STUPID melon you got onto of that scrawny neck wide open. Now GET the FUCK out my way, cuz I’m going to JAIL tonight.

[Yuku forcefully pushes pass Syberus who stands there totally shock at what Shiro have the audacity to say to him.]

[~Syberus~]

Cheers.

[Arizona's Most Wanted]

Syberus: "Silly lesbians."

Adrian Tanner: " Mmmm, lesbians..."

[James Fierce]

The scene goes to the locker room area…

James Fierce: Dagnabit! I’m onto you Karnage. We go out and give these fans a bonafide classic, and what do you do? You let up, that’s what you did. I thought we had a deal… I won two out of three in Rock, paper, scissors… so you were supposed to win the match, but noooo, you couldn’t keep a deal. You couldn’t be a good sport and go face what’s his name….you know, the guy with OOCitist. You’ve been here long enough to be vaccinated, I ain’t.

James then pulls out a booklet from his gym bag.

It clearly states here in section two, paragraph five of the official Rock Paper Scissors manual, and I quote, “the loser of a series must do the task agreed upon prior to the contest.

James then closes the manual.

So yeah, you obviously fudged on our deal…and I must say the consequences are sever. The World Rock Paper Scissors board could possibly ban you for life from engaging in the game. Then what AK? Huh? How will the Unstable determine who watches Sun? Yeah, I bet you didn’t think about that one did you? And no, you can’t use a leash, Adult Protective Services already fined y’all once before. That’ll really put a hamper on things, now won’t it?

James glares into the camera, serious like, almost like patty cakes promotional films…

So, how will it be Andy? We can either go to Jonnie right now and get this corrected or I can go forward to the board. Lord knows you don’t want to be excommunicated, and he also knows that I don’t want to catch that viral infection of logic thinking from that monkey. Come on AK, do the right thing…

Scene fades…

[The Heel]

[The scene opens up on somebody watching some shit. Cause thats what we get now when guys try to cut a promo... since He went away. Since He took a little vacation... a well needed vacation.

Lets see someone else carry Kilroy Evans, Gogira, Andrew Karnage, Cyrus Williams and Robert Hunglestein for months upon end and not need one. But Hes watching shit now... and you can officially start shitting your pants.

Go ahead. We'll wait.]

Syberus: “Doesn’t matter. Because I’m the Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion. I’m the best there is. I’m the best wrestler walking on the face of the planet. There’s not a person in this company that I can’t beat, pure fact. I walk tall and everyone else shields their eyes from the light shining off of this 10 pounds of gold right here.”

[Cobryn grins that grin. That one you want to smash off his face with a crow bar. Look at it. You slimy fucks you... I said look. You know him. He's the guy who makes Wilt Chamberlin look like he was a shut in with a tiny cock. He's the guy making three times what you make in Hardkore World*. He's the guy who's sold out more arenas than Hulk Hogan. He's the guy you look in the mirror every day pretending to be. Don't ya love it?]

*(Unless you're Yuku Shiro. Cobryn makes eight times what you make.)

Cobryn: I'd like to tell you all I've kept up on whats been going on around here... but besides the six people who still watch to see if Giant Baba O'reilly ever gets that Heavyweight title push... I'm not in the minority here.

[Random thought. Is Rated X Terry Funk without the mic skills... or is it just me?]

Cobryn: See, guys here who proclaim themselves legends, or the greatest, or whatever I called myself a year or so back... they're the only ones who believe it.

[How the fuck does Soutter get the West Coast Championship belt around his waist? I'm speaking literally... not figuratively.]

Cobryn: When they go away... nobody says their names. Nobody remembers who they were. Its like they never left.

[Quick show of hands... after watching Ryan Champion cut a promo... who else misses Bruno?]

Cobryn: I go on a little much needed vacation and the world turns upside down. Fierce wins the World strap. Jonnie stops taking drugs. Cats fuck dogs. Tuxedo Mask gets a girlfriend. Karnage gets out of the tag team championship picture and proves he really is a great singles wrestler...

[Wait for it.]

Hahahahahahaha!

Haaaaaahahahahahahahaha.

hahahahahahaha.

ha.

haha.

ha.

I kill myself.

Alright that last one didnt happen. But I started thinking if I dont come back soon... anything is possible.

I havent said a word in months and the circus is still in town every night. You clowns can't get Cobryn's name out of your mouth. Syberus sucks on the word like it was Adrian's sisters 10 incher. Hunglow reminds everyone that we fueded a couple times because it gives him some credibility. I dont blame him. He needs every shred he can get.

My reputation places in the top 25 of that RSWPF thing. Because of Cobryn people recognize Lucifer Jones and Dan Stein when they walk down the street. I mean God...

God: Whats up Cob?

[Yes. Thats God. Yes THAT God. The God. He's got a Cobryn T-shirt on. ]

Cobryn: Ah, nothing. I'm thinking about the Society.

God: Dont beat yourself up about that.

Cobryn: It wasnt my fault. It was theirs. Besides, I'm fucking Cobryn. But I did think they could help pull the load.

God: Hey, I thought Tiger Woods would be hillarious.

Cobryn: He is. People just dont have any sense of humor anymore.

[God beams up. Thats right. He beams up like Star Trek. And not that Next Generation bullshit. Not even Wrath of Kahn beaming technology. God uses the beam up from the Star Trek tv show back in the 70s. Dont believe me? Well thats easy. Go fuck yourself.]

Cobryn: So much to do. So many clowns to beat up. Good thing Cobryn got all that retard punching practice in... cause Hardkore's infested right now. Cobryn's here to clean the place up a little. Just off my vacation and already its time for a little Roman Holliday.

Lifes good for Cobryn.

The rest of you? Keep the diapers and the resperator machines handy.

[xpletive deleted]

Rated X: Great. Cobryn's back. There's sarcasm in my voice incase you can't read it. It's like getting excited for Death Gojira's return, which of course he hasn't cut a promo for yet. I guess Kilroy deserves a month off after spending two nights counting lights through a crimson mask courtesy of one Mr. Rated X.

Matt Boone: That's you.

Rated X: That's me. If I'm Terry Funk without mic skills what's that make you?

Matt Boone: Ooh! Buzz Sawyer without the cool haircut.

Rated X: Some of my favorite wrestlers have held the Hardkore American Heavyweight Title; Tarrasque, Big Stan, Adrian Faust.

Matt Boone: Partyman Pete.

Rated X: This belt is older then Justin Majoy and the young man that handles Yuku Shiro. This belt means something in a world of XPFW's, WEEW's, and SWAT's. Think about it. The title I wear around my waist when I walk down to the ring is older then half the West Coast Title rankings. Those first matches were written while Chris bounced his head to the latest solo effort by music's bad boy Bobby Brown. Half of Nippon's roster just asked if that's the guy who's married to that lady on crack.

Rated X: How could I in good concience pass this title onto somebody like Dan Stien? She's seen her fair share of Skits O Frenia's. The guy's whole gimmick is he's got a giant, cavernous asshole. Two hobbits live up in there.

Matt Boone: Yeah, Roger and Gloria. They're cool. I buy weed from them sometimes.

Rated X: Dan Stein's shit tube is so big Disney made a movie about it. It sucks but that one robot's cool.

Matt Boone: Tron?

Rated X: One time Dan got lost in his own asshole. Birds ate his trail of bread crumbs and he couldn't find his way back out. It's where Cobryn found his comeback and Rally lost his. You never know what you'll find in a wonderous place like Dan Stien's giant cavernous asshole. I'll have to take a look around when I do my broken broomstick spot.

Matt Boone: I love that bit. Not when you do it to me, though.

Rated X: Hardkore is hot right now for one reason and one reason only. Justin Majoy.

Matt Boone: I thought you were gonna say Rated X.

Rated X: I know you did. See how I did that?

Matt Boone: Did you invent that?

Rated X: Just did.

[Yuku Shiro]

[Cameras show Yuku Shiro in the back with the baseball bat, and the Hardkore World Women’s title in her hand still looking for Turner when Matt Boone runs up for an interview.]

Matt Boone – YUKU! YUKU!

Yuku Shiro – WHAT?

[Boone backs up a bit startled.]

Matt Boone – A quick interview please, you are the newly crowned Hardkore World Women’s Champion.

Yuku Shiro – What’s there to talk about Boone? From day one after my first match I set out to do what I said I was gonna do, I said that no matter how good Sanchez was, no matter what she hit me with in that ring I wasn’t going to stop until this title was in my hands, and look I got hit with the Seven Year Itch and the Mexican Destroyer in one night, and it still was not enough to stop me. You see what people fail to understand is that I’m that PERFECT DIAMOND forged on this Earth through a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to blind the competition, 6 years, thousands of matches, countless injuries, and 21 titles and counting including this one (holds up the Hardkore World Women’s Championship in front of the camera), I turn 23 in July and I JUST KEEP GOING.

[Shiro throws the title over her shoulder, as she calms down a bit.]

Yuku Shiro – Now Turner, you’re so pissed off because I did in a month what would probably take you 3 or 4 years to do? In Mexico I tried to shake your hand out of respect for the accomplishments you have brought to Women’s wrestling even though I beat you, and you slap my hand away and pop me in the face, now tonight you come into the ring after my victory and plow me into a steel chair; I expected it was the nature of the beast of this business considering I am the top dog now, but do you expect the dog not to bite back? We’ll find out won’t we, because if I don’t catch you tonight I will be hunting you down in Belfast, Hell in the Cell or not you better come ready to fight, because when I catch you, and I WILL catch you I’m going to show you my Irish side as I beat the living piss out of you in front of my dearly departed mother’s homeland right before I throw on a strap-on and SKULL FUCK YOU.

[The crowd erupts as Boone jumps back in shock, Yuku holds up the Hardkore World Women’s Championship one more time for the camera to see.]

Yuku Shiro – Tonight I ended Sanchez’s title reign…at Irish Rage…I’m going to just END you.

[Yuku walks off as Boone stands there beside himself with shock and disbelief.]

[Punisher]

[Dan Stein comes back on. Great.]

DS: You’ve taken Syberus’ old promo record and shattered it. Blood trickles down my ears as we speak. Let’s go pummel each other in the ring. It will be less painful.

[Stein is tense. He is smoking a Hoyo de Monterrey Excalibur cigar, probably not wise before a match, but he is nonetheless.]

DS: Look Hogan X, Bobby Hungles was onto something when he said you were very beatable. It’s not rocket science. I’ve wrestled guys like you before. Every fed that has been around has at least one old fart. This is usually how it goes: First, we are treated to listening to you refer to events that were relevant back in 1973. Perhaps a joke or two that only 3 people on earth get. Then, we get the old “you’re not worthy, so I will not allow you to win the match” line. Lastly, we get an intriguing yarn about the things you did in the good ol’ days. Sound familiar? I know these things, because I have been through it. I also know you didn’t invent wrestling, though you would probably claim it, you didn’t invent promos, though you’d claim that too, and you didn’t invent the internet, either. You didn’t even invent the wrestling god persona. That’s been done 100 times. I’ve seen it, and I’ve beaten it before. And I’ll do it again.

[Stein puffs on his cigar.]

DS: And I don’t give a shit what you think about it, you couldn’t give me all the rice in China to walk in your footsteps. I walk my own path. Your legend stuff might wow guys like Majoy, but not someone who has already seen it ad nauseum. Time to get into the 21st century, X. You’ve been manifesting this circle jerk of the same 4 guys you approved of for the last 10 years. Rally is dead. Cyrus is dead. Gojira is dead. Cobryn is dead. Get over it.

[Domino whispers something in Stein’s ear.]

DS: Cobryn’s not dead? This is no time for jokes, Dom.

[Domino shrugs her shoulders and walks out.]

DS: Something else you will need to get over is the fact that beyond your noted ability to wax nostalgic about the good old days is the fact that I am going to beat you tonight. Do you know why? Because I can. Your present reality is cruel- the reality that is Dan Stein walking out of here tonight as Hardkore America champion, giant cavernous asshole and everything. Maybe that’s why you can’t stop talking like it’s 1989; I think maybe, just maybe, you already see it.

[Stein cracks his neck without hands, as he is apt to do.]

DS: I’m done talking. I promise. Syberus, you can stop clapping now, and while you’re at it, get my name off your lips. It’s like listening to a screeching chalkboard while I’m hung over. And believe me, that’s not pleasant.

[Fade out.]

[Sin City Saint]

[Cue up Andrew Karnage, shooting back Pixie Stix. We can't all smoke stogies, Dan. His feet are up on a card table that has Monopoly set-up, Sun and Kilroy are in an intense battle. Karnage's Scotty Dog is hanging out in jail, as he is out of the game for the time being he leans back on a steel chair.]

Andrew Karnage: James, go ahaed, get me banned from Rock, Paper, Scissor... I still got ONE, TWO, SHOOT!~!~!

Odds/evens, baby. Always backplan there is.

I'll see you in Ireland, we can talk more then, or rather try and pop each others arms out of their respective sockets. Whatever, ya know?

I got Kilroy as a Towel Boy, and you got your fat man. And you can't hit your Picture Perfect Elbow in a submissions match, eh?

[Karnage's turn, he tosses a 1-4, and hits another Pixie Stix.]

Get ready for neck-torquing, and failure via a round 2 armbar. Take it and I'll break it.

Boys we've had a Cobryn Siting. Who wins the pool?

[Tanner pulls out a notebook and scans it.]

Tanner: Kilroy had July 3rd, it's the closest.

Karnage: Why do you love that date man?

[Kilroy smiles his crazed smile, and pockets fifty bucks.]

Karnage: See it's funny, Cobryn talks all the regular smack he does upon his 17th... 18th return to the ring, and still can't leave my name out of it.

I leave a great impression on people it seems.

James take note, nobody is _ever_ the same after stepping into the ring with Andrew Karnage. Even the great Rated X, had to dig deep with a barbed wire Camel Clutch to get the win over Andrew Karnage.

I'm not unbeatable, James, you've beaten me earlier in the night. You didn't make me submit, you won't.

OOCitis is the least of your concerns right now, Fierce. Seperated shoulders prior to going against the madman X, is something you need to bother your head with. Broken collar bones, nerve damage to your spine... these should be your concerns...

[Karnage rolls his third role, and gets out of jail.]

...I'm free at last.

[>Mo<]

~Visual~ Mo is coming out of the Shower into her Locker Room, only wearing a towel.

Mo:
Be happy Tammy.
I don't have to go after u anymore to recive my Goal: The Women's Title.
But I have praise ur way of fighting. A completly different Level than... what was her name? Oh yeah, Jess.
But dare u to go after Yuku! U could come into my way and u would regret that, I promise. Just look at Jenny...uhm Jess and what I did to her! I bet she is sitting in some Corner and cries her eyes out, coz I broke one of her Nails.
And Yuku, bring as many Ball Bats as u want to, U'll remember my Name in Pain, Bitch!

*fade off*

[~Hardkore Jonnie Valentine~]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore World wrestling ring and the Hardkore World locker room are too different places. Guys who are bad asses in the ring, spend alot of time reading romance novels in the back.

Phil Blauer: Like Lucifer Jones.

Guillrtmo O'Bannon: But one thing is the same, the feud between Dan Stein and Rated X. It started in the back and is finally making it's way to the ring.

[The US Airways Center goes dark. A choir fills the arena with the song of the "Miserere," a legendary song that has been played for centuries at the Sistine Chapel. The choir fades and in its place the heart beats 3 times. In coordination with the beats, the screen flashes the following:]

<ALPHA>

<OMEGA>

<The Punisher skull>

["More Human Than Human" by White Zombie plays over the PA. Out from the back walks "The Punisher" Dan Stein. Stein walks slowly into the ring, stone-faced. He does not acknowledge the crowd. He takes off his black trenchcoat, and calmly hands the Peacemaker to Mike Peters. He stares intently at the entrance, and cracks a beastly, savage smile. He cracks his neck without the use of his hands, looks at the entrance, and lets out a barbaric shout]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein is looking forward to his first big title match here on the West Coast.

Phil Blauer: Fans here in Arizona are a little unaccustomed to seeing Dan Stein finish a match. Last time he was here he left Rally Jackson to die in a cage.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, but who wouldn't? Dan Stein on a real roll lately. He finally defeated his longtime rival Lucifer Jones in a dog collar match in Albuquerque and won the big wargames match for Team SWAT by swerving his own crew Legion X in this very building. Tonight he looks to capitalize on that momentum by defeating a man who hasn't lost on the West Coast since 2000.

Yolanda Ando: Stien is wearing a simple tight black t-shirt, and plain black shorts, with black leather wrestling boots. Stein also wears black leather gloves with the fingers ripped out.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "The following match is scheduled for one fall with a 30 minute time limit and is for the HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Your referee is Mike Peters. Featuring first, accompanied to the ring by Domino; Standing 6 feet 7 inches tall; Weighing 285 pounds...'THE PUNISHER' DAN STEIN!!!"

[The crowd cheers. Then "Start the Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot plays and the Phoenix fans lose their damn mind. Rated X steps through the curtain with his dinged up bloody steel chair with a white "X" painted across the seat]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X has requested getting Dan Stein in a ring for quite a while and vice versa. Any match where Rated X has had time to think about what he's gonna do is one you need to be concerned about.

Yolanda Ando: Rated X is wearing some black trunks, black boots and his signature black mask with a white X on it. His chest, arms, and back are covered in Yakuza style tattoos and the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship strapped around his waist.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "His opponent is from Parts Unknown, Standing 5 feet 10 inches tall; Weighing 245 pounds; He is The Current HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...RATED X!!!"

[The US Airways Center lets out a huge pop. Mike Peters signals for the bell. Rated X cracks Stein on the top of the head with a karate chop]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein fires back with a knife edge chop to Rated X's chest. X pops him on the top of the head with another chop to the head. Stein cracks him with another chop and Rated X answers with a Baba chop to Stein's cranium. Dan Stein grabs X by the throat and lifts him up.

[Dan Stein throttles Rated X by the throat, choking him with both hands until he tosses him hard to the mat. Rated X coughs and tries to catch his breath]

Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein scoops Rated X up and bodyslams him but X inside cradles him!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X cracks Stein in the face with a back elbow. Another one comes, but he ducks and applies a full nelson. He presses down on the back of Rated X's neck.

[Dan Stein thrashes Rated X from side to side, not allowing him to get his footing. Mike Peters asks him if he wants to submit but he shakes his head]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein tiger suplexes Rated X!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...(Rated X raises his shoulder)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X gets up first and hits Stein with a few knuckle shots to his forehead and it breaks his head open the hard way!

[Rated X bites Stein's forehead opening up the wound even more and follows with more closed fists and sharp elbows opening the wound up more]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs two handfuls of Stein's hair and drives him face first into his knee a couple times. Rated X cracks him with a huge punch sending him through the ropes to the floor.

[Rated X rolls out of the ring and grabs his X Chair. He takes a baseball swing and cracks Stein in the face with his chair!! Stein goes down like a bag of hammers]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs the timekeeper's bell and then running smashes him in the face with it!!

[Dan Stein wobbles around The US Airways Center floor and X drops the bell and then DDTs Stein on it!! X headlocks Stein]

Guillermo O'Bannon: X goes for a bulldog but Dan Stein pushes him off into the corner post! He sets up X's own chair and then russian legsweeps the back of his head on the seat!!

[Rated X rolls around the cement, clutching the back of his neck. Dan Stein rolls X back into the ring]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein steps back into the ring and lifts Rated X up into a fireman's carry. He F5's X's face into the turnbuckle!

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Cool, the answer to my algebra homework was F + 5 = X.

Phil Blauer: Really?

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: What do I know? I go to public school.

Yolanda Ando: Isn't school out?

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: It was due in March.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein rolls him up into a la majistral!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein applies a front facelock, but Rated X backdrops him. He grabs Stein by the hair, pulls him down, and punt kicks him in the face!

[Rated X tosses Stein over the ropes, but Dan catches the rope on the way over and lands on the apron. Rated X climbs out and cracks Stein in the face with some punches]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X fallaway slams Dan Stein off the apron to the railing & floor!!

[The Phoenix crowd cheers the sound of Stein bouncing off the guardrail. Rated X smashes Stein's face into the cornerpost! He then takes his X Chair and smashes the back of Stein's head, sandwiching his head between the chair & cornerpost]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X pulls a table out from underneath the ring and leans it against the guardrail. He pulls Stein up onto his shoulders and running powerbombs him into the table!!

[Stein leans against the railing with broken table all over him. Rated X rolls him back into the ring but hangs his head off the apron. He then takes the bottom rope and presses it down across Stein's throat]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X choking Stein with that bottom rope! He gets back up on the apron, but Stein's waiting for him and stunners his throat on the top rope!

[Rated X falls back off the apron onto the railing! Dan Stein rolls out of the ring and scoops X up. He drops him headfirst with a michinoku driver II on the concrete]

Guillermo O'Bannon: A busted open Dan Stein rolls X back into the ring and then irish whips him into the ropes. The Punisher catches him on the way back with a monster powerslam!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein lifts Rated X up in a hanging vertical suplex, lets him think about it, and then drops back into the center of the ring!

[The US Airways Center applauds. Stein irish whips X into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Rated X whips him around into a hangman's neckbreaker!! The audience applauds X's familiar set-up]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein no sold it! He's no selling Rated X's hangman's neckbreaker!

Phil Blauer: Is it Rated X's neckbreaker or the Hangman's neckbreaker?

[Dan Stein brushes his shoulders off and waits for Rated X to turn around. When he does, Stein slaps him across the face! He spins Rated X around into his own hangman's neckbreaker!! The crowd pops]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The Twilight Hammer!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: A bleeding Dan Stien sets up the X Chair and turns around into a punch to his face. Rated X lifts him up and swinging powerbombs him onto the seat of the chair!!

[The Phoenix fans roar. Rated X headlocks Stein and running bulldogs his throat on the back of the standing chair!! Stein rolls around, clutching his throat]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X irish whips Stein into the ropes, dips down for a backdrop, but Stein whips him around with a corkscrew neckbreaker!

Phil Blauer: "Irish" Mike Powers broke Rated X's neck in 2000 in his last clean loss when he lost his Hardkore World Heavyweight Championship at the Suwa Gymnasium in Japan. It put him out for a year and he still has to sit in an ice bath at the end of every show because of it.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein knows this and is focusing nearly exclusively on Rated X's neck. Stein gut wrenches Rated X up into a reverse DDT slam!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X raises his shoulder)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Domino hands Dan Stein a table and The Punisher sets it up in the corner. Rated X reverses an irish whip and shoots Stein through the table!

[Rated X takes his chair and grinds it into the throat of Stein, choking him with the top of the chair. He then rolls out of the ring and goes underneath the ring. He comes back with a chain]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X smashes Dan Stein in the face with that steel chain!

Phil Blauer: Shades of Jerry Lawler without the hair plugs!

Guillermo O'Bannon: A bleeding Dan Stein blocks a second punch and fires back with one of his own. He lifts Rated X up in a hanging suplex then drops him into a jackhammer!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein tosses Rated X over the top ropes but X catches the rope on the way over. X stands back up on the apron, but Dan Stein comes off the top rope with a flying bulldog!!

[The Phoenix audience cheers and Rated X rolls around the concrete in agony. Stein pulls Rated X up and military presses him over his head. He drops Rated X's throat on the railing]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein irish whips Rated X but X reverses it and sends Stein facefirst into the ring post!! Rated X knocking over all of our drinks...

Phil Blauer: What a dick, you know how hard it was for Matthew to find me a Diet Jolt? Probably pretty hard.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: It's actually just a Pepsi with alot of water in it.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X powerbombs Rated X on our table!!

[Punisher slides off the table, his foot becoming entangled in Phil's headset cord, and it yanks Phil to the floor with him. Meanwhile Rated X breaks a piece of the security railing off it's hinges]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X tosses the piece of railing over the ropes into the ring! What a show of strength.

Phil Blauer: Somebody help me up! A man of my stature can't pull himself up, look at our president!

[Matt Boone furiously goes to work helping Phil up. Rated X drags the fractured remainder of the railing towards him and then hits Stein's own Twilight Hammer on the railing!! With Stein incapacitated, Rated X sets up a table near the apron]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X rolls Stein onto the apron and then scoops him up. He running tombstone piledrives Stein's head through the table!!

[The US Airways Center chants "RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!! RA-TED X!!" X rolls Stein back into the ring and then enters himself. X fireman's carries Stein up and then sits him on the top turnbuckle]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X climbs to the second rope but Stein punches him until he falls back onto the piece of railing he threw into the ring! Stein stands up on the second turnbuckle and then comes off with a hart attack clothesline!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein lifts Rated X up in a hanging Canadian backbreaker!

Phil Blauer: What makes that backbreaker Canadian?

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: It doesn't hurt very much.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein bouncing X's spine against his shoulder, using his immense strength to try and put the American Champion in a wheelchair.

[Mike Peters checks in to see if Rated X wants to submit but he shakes his head. Stein drops to his knees, shooting his shoulder through X's back. Rated X gets up but Dan Stein drapes his leg across the back of his neck. He flips around into an overdrive neckbreaker]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X clutching his neck and could be in some serious trouble here. He gets to his feet but Stein grabs him by the mask and pulls him back into an edge-u-cution with his neck hitting The Punisher's knee!

[Punisher flexes his muscles over Rated X while he writhes in pain. Stein scoops Rated X up but the champ falls behind him in an inverted facelock. He flips him around into a reverse suplex into an ace crusher]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The Black Out!! Rated X's homage to the feud he had with Cyrus Williams from '97 to-...Stein is no-selling The Black Out!!!

[Rated X is sitting up smiling, unbeknownst that Stein is tanding behind, waiting for him to turn around. When he does, his jaw drops at The Punisher, heaving and snorting in his face. Stein grabs two handfuls of X's mask and yanks him up to his feet]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein double underhook suplexes Rated X across the ring! He keylocks his arm, but Rated X hiptosses him over.

[Rated X sits on Stein's chest and uses his thumbs to spread Dan's cut wider. Then he cracks the cut with a few elbows to open it even wider. He drags the piece of railing over Stein and then stands on it]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X grabs his X Chair and smashes it down on the railing over Stein's face!

Phil Blauer: Ouch. That reminds me of all those times Matthew used to get his head stuck between the rails. Matthew?

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (Matt's ass is wiggling in their faces with his head stuck in the railing) HELP!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Domino runs up and grabs X's leg, crotching him on the turnbuckle. A blood drenched Dan Stein climbs up to the top rope from behind him and Calf Branding bulldogs him off the top rope with his knee in the back of X's head!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X gets to his feet and gets leveled with a nasty clothesline to the back of the head!

Phil Blauer: You mean a Boomerang.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: (his head's still in the railing) Isn't it a Northern Lights Lariot?

Yolanda Ando: I think I've heard it called a reverse clothesline...

Guillermo O'Bannon: Let's not always re-invent the wheel here guys, it's just a clothesline to the back of the head. Stein lifts him up into a fireman's carry but Rated X falls on his feet behind him and then lifts him up in a human torture rack. He flips him over into a burning hammer he calls the Palm Springs Driver!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X takes his chain and wraps it around Dan Stein's throat. He tosses him over the top rope and hangs him with the chain!

[Stein's feet kick out as he bleeds down his front. He tries to get his fingers between the chain and his throat but to no avail. Domino jumps up on the apron and punches Rated X in the face trying to get him to stop strangling him]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X drops Stein to the floor. He rolls out of the ring and piledrives The Punisher on the concrete!!

[Rated X sets up the table by the apron. He rolls Stein onto the apron and climbs up there with him. He goes for another Twilight Hammer but Stein rolls back around and DDTs him off the apron through the table!! The US Airways Center chants "PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!! PUN!!"]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein rolls Rated X back into the ring. He lifts Rated X up on his shoulders, drops him on the top rope and then bounces him into a devastating slingshot powerbomb!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein chicken wings both of X's arms and lifts him into a double flying hammerlock!! He uses X's own weight to create complete and total agony on his arms.

[Dan Stein bounces Rated X up & down on his elbows. Mike Peters asks him if he submits but X shakes his head. Stein tosses him down chest-first as hard as humanly possible]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X gets to his feet but Stein grabs him by the mask and running X factors him facefirst into the mat!

[Dan Stein goes for a russian legsweep but X back elbows him in the face. He delivers another Palm Springs Driver, this time on the piece of railing]

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X kicks and stomps Dan Stein's skull until his boots are a bloody mess. He pulls him up by the blood soaked hair and tosses him through the ropes into the railing!

[Rated X steps through the ropes out on to the floor. Matt Boone screams for X to help him]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: "Uh, sir? Little help, please?"

[Rated X pulls Boone through the railing]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: "Thanks, I owe you."

Rated X: "Damn right."

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X DDTs Matt Boone's head into Dan Stein's face!!

[Stein clutches his mouth with blood running through his fingers. Rated X picks him up and rolls him back into the ring. Rated X climbs up to the apron, but Stein is waiting for him across the ropes]

Guillermo O'Bannon: "The Punisher" Dan Stein lifts Rated X by the head and flips him over the ropes into the ring! He cranks X's head to the side, trying to twist his head off. He's also putting intense pressure on X's oft injured neck.

[Rated X kicks his legs out in a futile attempt to escape. Stein then jams his thumb into X's throat]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein lifts Rated X up into a razor's edge and then drops him into a hangman's neckbreaker!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Rated X kicks out)

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "Twenty Minutes Have Elapsed. 10 Minutes Remaining."

Guillermo O'Bannon: Stein sits on Rated X's back with a sleeperhold camel clutch! He thrashes X's head from side to side while craning back on his neck.

Phil Blauer: Rated X is gonna be wearing a neck brace longer than Kauffman and Heenan combined!

[Domino pounds on the apron in support of Stein. Mike Peters asks Rated X if he wants to submit. He refuses so Stein pulls him up by the mask. He flips over into an oklahoma roll]

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...(Rated X kicks out)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Rated X punches him in the stomach and crotches him on the turnbuckle! Rated X steps up to the second turnbuckle and Unabomber DDTs him!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Dan Stein puts his foot on the bottom rope)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X goes for a piledriver but Stein backdrops him. He gut wrenches Rated X up into a high extension tigerbomb!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...thr- (Rated X claps his legs together on Stein's head)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dan Stein pulls him over his back into the Final Reckoning neckbreaker submission, but X kicks his own legs out and drops a hangman's neckbreaker!

[Rated X lifts Dan Stien up in a double underhook canadian backbreaker and then falls forward into a piledriver]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rated X hits the RU-486!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...2...3!!!

["Start the Riot" by Atari Teenage Riot plays and the fans go nuts. Mike Peters hands Rated X his Hardkore America Championship belt]

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 22 minutes 36 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND STILL HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...RATED X!!!"

Guillermo O'Bannon: After nearly breaking his neck again, Rated X now goes on to San Diego to face fellow former Hardkore World Champion "Platinum" James Fierce!

[Fade out on Rated X standing on the second rope, clutching the back of his neck with one hand and holding the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship belt in his other]

[~Syberus~]

[The camera opens on the Un-Stable locker room. Adrian Tanner Jnr walks back in with a bottle of water in hand.]

Adrian: “Where’s Syb? His match is coming up.”

Kilroy: “…He grabbed some lighter fluid and said something about having just enough time for a “bitch burning”.

[Andrew Karnage stands up.]

Karnage: “There’s going to be a bitch burning and no one told me?!”

[Karnage runs out. Tanner follows. Fade out…]