Hardkore World Title Holders

["I'm Cummin Hardkore" by DJ Irene plays and a video montage plays of Hardkore World's 25 year history. Cyrus Williams hits Andrew Karnage with The Blackout...Tarrasque chokeslams Big Brute ACE off of a balcony to the floor below...Rad Rick pulls back on a scorpion deathlock on Dragon Kimura...Ace Kilcannon drops "Tigerheart" Rally Jackson on the back of his head with The Kill...Bronco Guerillo comes off on with a rana off the second turnbuckle on Rad Rick...Adrian Faust nails Death Gojira with a Helldriver...Fidel "Che" Gueverra throws powder in Bronco Guerillo's eyes...Rated X hits Ghandi the Butcher with The Unabomber...Kentaro Korose hits Kuala Hala with a facebreaker deathkick...Matthew X flaming thumper heart punches Quasimoto Jones..."Deathstryke" Cyan Komar hits San Diego Strangler with The Deathstryke...Sadiopath pins "Nightmare" Stormy Sommers with a sadioplex...Devon Stevens hits Bobby Nowa with a Zero Grav Leg Drop...Rally Jackson puts Adrian Faust through a press table with a cradle piledriver...Tosh Marley tiger drivers Matthew X...Ace Kilcannon comes off the rope with a springboard DDT on El Hombre Murcie'Lago...Reverand Gozo Shioda nails Ace Kilcannon with a crucifix ganso bomb...Tuxedo Mask executes a gorgeous corkscrew 450 splash on "Sweet" Richard Romero..."Sexy" Anjanette Turner bending Makoto Jupiter in half with a scorpion deathlock with a crossface...Kilroy Evans drops from off the top of a cage with a crowbar across the chest of Death Gojira on a burning car...Tamara Sanchez delivering a crisp helicopter rana on Xyrynth onto a chair...The Miracle Violence Combination II giving Tarrasque a Shotgun Suplex...Cobryn gives Robert Hunglestien III The Answer 2005...Lonewolf McNeely gets a running start and jumps into the Scent of Destruction diamond cutter but Big Bad Bill reverses it into a reverse DDT faceplant off the second rope...Lucifer Jones gives Devon Stevens a London Air Raid off the top rope through a table on the floor...Ayame "Phoenix" Tokugawa backflips off the cage, catching Brandi on the top turnbuckle on the way down with a inverted FireBird DDT...Death Gojira puts the ladder over Cobryn's head in the corner with his chest in the turnbuckle, then jumps off the top turnbuckle on the long end, see sawing him into the audience....Kilroy Evans grabs Adrian Tanner Jr. on the apron and hits The Bad Touch to the floor...Vampira comes off the top rope with a shooting star press on Vagabond through a table on the floor...Andrew Sinclair gives Andrew Karnage an exploder off the ring steps on to the concrete floor...Lucifer Jones gives Kilroy Evans a burning hammer off the apron through a burning table with thumbtacks...Tatsuya Arakawa DDTs Marty Donovan off the apron to the concrete floor...Legacy pulls "Platinum" Pat Bozzini into a set-up for a piledriver, but Bozzini blocks it and reverses it into an alabama slammer but on the way over, Bozzini turns it into a tigerbomb... Lonewolf McNeely presses David Sadler over his head and drops him in the No Human Contact diamond cutter...The Outrider pulls Andrew Karnage up into a crucifix and then drops him into a backbreaker...Bad Boy King Kong gut wrenches Ryan Champion up into a tigerbomb through the tables...Rated X piledrives Kilroy Evans head through the roof of a Toyota Camry...Syberus half nelson facebusters Robert Hunglestien III off the top rope...Yuku Shiro pumphandles "Sexy" Anjanette Turner up into a burning hammer..."Rising Sun" Marty Donovan running clotheslines Bozzini on & over the barbed wire...Shano tiger drivers Adrian Tanner Jr. off the top rope through a table...James Fierce turns around just as Andrew Karnage runs at him with the Nightmare Lariot but Fierce smacks his outstretched arm with the chair...Rated X and Kyle X give Jay St. Clair a death sentence flying stomp with St. Clair's head resting on a standing chair on the floor...Dan Stien muscle busters Pat Bozzini off the apron through some tables...Ken Shiro grabs a limp Ten Cents by his legs hoisting him up and slinging him over his shoulder, as Jagi Shiro DDTs him off the second rope...Syberus sticks Tanner's neck between the ladder and then climbs to the second turnbuckle. He jumps off and stomps the ladder shut..."The Unlucky One" 13 electric chairs Uncle Kracka up on his shoulders. Nick Shade springboards off the top rope as 13 drops Kracka, resulting in Shade catching him on the way down for an electric chair drop/lungblower combo...Lucifer Jones flips Syberus off the top turnbuckle onto his head with a super Yankee Cracker...Ralph Pierce running death valley drivers Bryan Warrior off the apron onto the concrete...Matthew X and Roscoe Law stand in a burning ring...A fan hugs Kyle X and then a blast goes off and it fades into a graphic...Angel slips a chair underneath Suzie Machina's face and lays a chair on top of it. She picks up a pink barbed wire bat and bashes the top chair in a modified con-chair-to...Andrew Karnage grabs a ladder and presses it against the ladder Syberus is climbing. He runs up that bridged ladder and takes Syberus down with a Nightmare Lariot...Roah Shiro gutwrenches the 400 pound Paul Soutter up and powerbombs him into the barbed wire ...Joshua Smith sinks his sharp teeth into Sam's forehead some more, turning Paige into a grisly mess then it fades into a graphic that reads "Hardkore America". The camera pans around the rabid fans in The University Arena. The shot pans out to Guillermo O'Bannon, Phil Blauer, Yolanda Ando, and former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Welcome one and all to Albuquerque, New Mexico!

Phil Blauer: I thought we'd never get here.

Guillermo O'Bannon: What a show we have in line for us tonight with the huge main event, Kilroy Evans taking on James Fierce for the Hardkore World Heavyweight title!

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Put the kids to bed for that one!

Phil Blauer: Which reminds me, I think you might want to sit that one out.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: But... but sir...

Phil Blauer: It's your call, but don't come crying to me if you're left with emotional scars like when you insisted on sitting through the best of FCW DVD.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Thanks! I'd JUST forgotten about their booking. No sleep for me tonight.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Moving on, we've got a six man tag team match which looks like it's gonna be a great match with Andrew Karnage, Rally Jackson and the Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion Bruno teaming up to take on “Rising Sun” Marty Donovan, Kota and the Shootfighter.

Phil Blauer: The battle of “who gives a shit?”

Guillermo O'Bannon: And uh... well, Syberus takes on a whole bunch of “local talent” for the West Coast title.

Phil Blauer: I just can't call it!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Whatever you say.

[A snippet from Spartan X begins to play then switches into “Indestructible” by Disturbed which blasts from the PA system as Ken Shiro comes up from a raised platform on the ramp way with his head down. He cricks his neck and then slowly raises it with an emotionless glare on his face as he slowly begins to walk down to the ring. Shiro hops on the apron, and then enters the ring, he hops on the nearest turnbuckle looking out into the crowd; he then hops down as he clenches and cracks his entire body Master Lee style. The crowd rains down boos.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: But up first we've got a triple threat match, and here comes the returning Ken Shiro.

Phil Blauer: Avert your eyes, people. He may take on other forms.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: The following contest is a triple threat match scheduled for one fall, entering first from Tokyo, Japan; standing 6'6 and weighing 260 lbs... KEN SHIRO!!!

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Ken Shiro has an impressive record in Hardkore World, in both singles and tag team competition.

Phil Blauer: He's got an impressive record in... stupid.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Ouch.

Phil Blauer: I'm easing into the night.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Your “A” material should be ready by the main event, then.

Phil Blauer: Well your “A” material won't probably be ready until... sometime after that...

Guillermo O'Bannon: Words hurt, Phil.

[“Sound of Madness” by Shinedown plays as strobe lights flash and Jack Eastwood makes his way to the ring, the lights skipping so it seems as though he isn't actually walking, but drifting towards the ring. When he reaches the ropes he slides under them, rising and shrugging off his jacket in one fluid motion.]

Phil Blauer: Jack Eastwood: the most gifted jacket taker-offer in the business.

Guillermo O'Bannon: What a great re-debut it would be for Jack Eastwood if he were to beat Ken Shiro and Dougie Ray Bullet in one sitting.

Phil Blauer: Sidenote: Disturbed and Shinedown? What is this 2003?

“Wild” Bill Kasal: And introducing one of his opponents, from The Asylum, Nova Scotia; standing 6'8 and weighing in at 280 lbs... JACK EASTWOOD!!!

[The crowd give a mixed reaction as the beginning chords of "Shoot to Thrill" by AC/DC begin to echo throughout The University Arena. The crowd gives a mixed reaction to the arrival of a different Dougie Ray Bullet to the man they had become accustomed to.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dougie Ray Bullet made an impact on his Hardkore World return at Irish Rage, taking out Adrian Tanner Jnr.

Phil Blauer: Tanner MAY have died in the process, we didn't really look into that.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Either way the Hardkore World faithful were shocked at Dougie Ray Bullet's actions.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: And from Gatorsville, Florida; Standing 6 feet 4 inches tall; Weighing 235 pounds... DOUGIE RAY BULLET!!!

[Another mixed reaction as Dougie rolls into the ring. Referee Ron Reid calls for the opening bell and the match gets underway.]

Phil Blauer: If Jack Eastwood wrestles as well as he takes off a jacket, these two guys are in SERIOUS trouble.

Guillermo O'Bannon: At 6'4 Dougie Ray Bullet is the smallest man in this match.

Phil Blauer: It really is a Vince McMahon wet dream.

[Dougie Ray Bullet throws a right hand at Ken Shiro and forces him back into a corner. Shiro retaliates and Jack Eastwood takes Douie Ray Bullet down with a russian leg sweep.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro stomps on DRB as Eastwood gets back to his feet, Shiro clotheslines Eastwood down!

[Dougie Ray Bullet rolls Shiro up from behind!]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... (Jack Eastwood breaks the count.)

Phil Blauer: These matches are always chaos. Not only do you have to beat an opponent enough to pin him, you have to render the other incapable of stopping you.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Jack Eastwood hooks Shiro's arm behind his back for a half nelson and drives him face first into the turnbuckle! Eastwood takes him down with a bulldog.

[Dougie Ray Bullet stomps on Eastwood's head and pulls him up, before sending him to run the ropes with an Irish whip, DRB takes him over with a hip toss and clamps on an arm lock.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Bullet tweaks on that elbow and shoulder; Ken Shiro is still shaking off that bulldog so Bullet has a window to exploit here- but it doesn't last long, as Shiro takes him out from behind!

[Shiro shoves DRB out through the ropes and Bullet smacks to the concrete below.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Ohh- you can see Douie Ray Bullet's back arch off that concrete floor in pain and here comes Ken Shiro, on the attack on the outside, he drags Bullet back to his feet and smashes his head into the steel ring post!

[DRB collapses to the floor again seeing stars, Ken Shiro doesn't see Jack Eastwood sneak up behind and backdrop him onto the concrete floor!]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Eastwood takes a moment to decide who's the worst for wear before rolling Dougie Ray Bullet back into the ring, he could steal a victory here!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (DRB kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Eastwood stalks Dougie Ray Bullet, letting the former Hardkore American Heavyweight Champion get back to his feet here. Eastwood goes for a DDT but Dougie Ray Bullet comes alive and blocks it, flicking out with a thumb to the eye!

[Bullet goes for a suplex but Eastwood holds onto the ropes. Bullet tries to shake him loose with some kicks to the mid and hammers a forearm into his face.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dougie Ray Bullet clotheslines Jack Eastwood over the top rope!

[The crowd let out an “oooohh” as Shiro slides back into the ring, laying out Dougie Ray completely with a clothesline to the back of the head.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Ken Shiro with a chance now- he applies a cobra clutch to Dougie Ray Bullet and drags him back up, only to flip him onto his head and neck with a cobra clutch suplex!!

Phil Blauer: Wow.

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Dougie Ray Bullet kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Nothing doing as Bullet gets that shoulder up at two. Ken shoves DRB back into a corner, who's looking a little woozy after that suplex, and Ken circles back to come charging in with a shoulder, but Bullet side steps and Shiro finds only the ring post!

[Dougie Ray pulls up Ken with a sitout tombstone piledriver.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Gatorsville Plunge!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Ken kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: No! So close but the Gatorsville Plunge couldn't put Ken Shiro away this early in the match.

[Jack Eastwood gets back into the ring and swings with a big boot that Dougie Ray ducks, and catches Eastwood with a Uranagi onto the knee.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Gator Crack!! This could be it!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Eastwood gets a foot on the bottom rope.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: No! Dougie Ray Bullet close on two occasions there but no dice so far! Ken Shiro pulls himself up with those ropes and DRB comes in with a clothesline trying to knock him over that top rope but Shiro pulls it down and Dougie Ray Bullet goes flying!

[The crowd pop as Bullet lies motionless on the concrete floor. Jack Eastwood rolls up Ken Shiro from behind.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Ken kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Ooooh! So close from Jack Eastwood to picking up a big win on his return to Hardkore World.

[Jack Eastwood brings Ken Shiro back to his feet but Ken shakes him off, Ken sticks a boot to the mid and hooks both Eastwoods arms for a sit out Tiger driver!!]

Phil Blauer: Incredulous!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: 1... 2... (Eastwood kicks out.)

[On the outside, Dougie Ray Bullet holds the back of his head as he stumbles over to a steel chair and snaps it closed.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Dougie Ray bringing some artillery into play it seems, as Ken Shiro could have an opportunity to drive this home... he pulls Eastwood's head into his legs before lifting him up and bouncing his back on the top rope, spinning around for a sit out powerbomb!! Dragonbomb!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Eastwood rolls a shoulder.)

Phil Blauer: Back to back powerbombs isn't enough to get the job done for Ken Shiro.

[Dougie Ray gets back into the ring and slams the chair into Ken's ribs. He then reels back and cracks the seat over Ken Shiro's head.]

Crowd: Ooohh!

Phil Blauer: Did you hear that?!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shiro looks to be out cold! Eastwood from behind with a low blow on Dougie Ray Bullet!

[Eastwood bundles DRB back out of the ropes and drops onto the cover on Ken Shiro.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... 3!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: He's done it! Jack Eastwood has stolen it after Dougie Ray Bullet took out Shiro with that steel chair!

[“Sound of Madness by Shinedown starts playing again as Eastwood sits up off the cover with glazed eyes, holding the back of his head with one hand while the other is raised by Ron Reid.]

“Wild” Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, in the time of 5 minutes 12 seconds here is your winner... JACK EASTWOOD!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: I think we can call this an upset, but Jack Eastwood saw his chance, picked the bones, and got himself a huge win on his return to Hardkore World here!

Phil Blauer: One of THE standout moments in Hardkore World's illustrious history.

Guillermo O'Bannon: What a way to kick off tonight's proceedings; up next, Snake Charmer and Tarrasque go head to head, stay with us!

[Suddenly "No Chance in Hell" by Peter Bursuker starts playing. The fans all look around in confusion, and their eyes all turn towards the entrance. Ken Shiro, Dougie Ray Bullet, and Jack Eastwood pick themselves up.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Wait, what is that music playing?

Phil Blauer: Good god, you don't think Vince read the interview I gave to FakeNudeDivaz.com do you? I said, I'd do SOME things differently...just SOME!

[Suddenly 12 hooded druids step through the curtain with torches]

Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't believe this...

[With Shiro, Bullet, Eastwood's attention towards the back, two men slide under the ropes and attack Dougie Ray Bullet]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Who are these two?

Phil Blauer: They seem to have it in for Dougie. I mean, don't get me wrong, I see it. That guys a piece of shit. He took my parking space!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Let it go, Phil.

[One man electric chairs Dougie up on his shoulders and brings Dougie face down into the other man's knees with a codebreaker]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Oh come on! What are these two guys doing laying hands on our wrestlers??

[One man rolls out of the ring and hands the other a microphone]

Skyler Michael: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Skyler Rich! And this is my brother in arms, Sebastian Tom. And we are not here for you. (points to Ken Shiro) and we are certainly not here for you. (points at Jack Eastwood)

[Tom gets down on one knee, and speaks into a prone Dougie Ray's ear]

Sebastian Tom: We bring you joyous news, it's time to come home Dougie.

Skyler Michael: That's right, Douglas. You've been called home to the promise land. And we've come to this odiferous rat nest to take you there. He's not smiling?

Sebastian Tom: I think he's unconcious.

Skyler Michael: Oh, ok. That's fine then. (points at Shiro and Eastwood) To the rest of you. Don't dare damage a hair on his sweet crew cutted head.

Sebastian Tom: That's right, for he is destined to be a superstar.

Skyler Michael: (to the crowd) Allow us to explain. You see, we weren't always the
chiseled adonises that stand before you.

Sebastian Tom: That's right, Skyler. We were once pasty, out of shape indy WRESTLERS. Not a tattoo to be seen.

Skyler Michael: We came out to 2Pac songs. We judged our success on how many times we could get 30 people in some sweatbox to chant "Holy shit" or "This is awesome" as if that were some actual parameter of greatness.

Sebastian Tom: Those were sad times, brother. Then one day on a stormy November day, Steve Keirn came to see us wrestle one another at a church fundraiser in Modesto.

Skyler Michael: When we got the word that he was watching, we looked at one another and knew that whoever won would get to live their dream on the biggest stage of them all.

Sebastian Tom: So following the 50/50 raffle we went out there and did what we used to call "tearing the house down". We used every Japanese move we could think of, and bounced every metal object in the arena off of our skills.

Skyler Michael: I think we took a couple years off of our careers with that ridiculousness.

Sebastian Tom: I concur. Even though I suffered another concussion that night, I'll never forget, Steve Keirn...

Skyler Michael: The Skinner himself!

Sebastian Tom: He came up to us and said "You two have potential...as soon as you unlearn all that bullshit you just made me sit through."

[Fans boo]

Skyler Michael: Oh, I know, I know. I felt the same way. I felt the indignation bubble up, because I thought I knew something about the wrestling business. And maybe I did. But I soon learned, that I knew nothing...(points to Shiro & Eastwood) Just like both of you know nothing about the ENTERTAINMENT business.

[University Area rocks with jeers and boos]

Sebastian Tom: Oh, you hear that Skyler?

Skyler Michael: Oh I hear it...that's entertainment! They're dying for it here. They're literally starving for the little drop we're giving them by just standing here...with our tattoos.

Sebastian Tom: Make it dance, make it dance!

(Skylar flexes his tricept to make his tattoo appear to shimmy.)

Skyler Michael: So we signed our developmental deal and it literally changed our lives over night. No longer were we Jimmy Jaguar & Mask Boy.

Sebastian Tom: Though they did fear the mask.

Skyler Michael: A couple people, sure.

Sebastian Tom: A couple people counts as a near sell out in half the armories in Florida, brother.

("Sleep" by Dragonaut fills the ring. Sebastian Tom answers his cell phone, putting one finger up for the entire arena to hold)

Guillermo O'Bannon: This is ridiculous, we're in the middle of an event here!

(Phil, on his phone, puts one figure up for Guillermo to hold.)

Sebastian Tom: Paul! Good to hear from you. (to Skyler) It's Hunter.

Skyler Michael: Tell him I said Hi.

Sebastian Tom: Paul...

Skyler Michael: No, no! Tell him I said...sup.

Sebastian Tom: (Nods, then back to his phone) I didn't expect to hear from you today, aren't you spending six hours on your upper pectoral area? Oh, cool. (to Skyler) He's got 90 seconds before his next rep. Vince wanted him to call to
see if we received The Book.

Skyler Michael: Got it earlier this morning. It's wonderful. For years "pro wrestlers" have wandered through the wilderness with nothing to guide them to the promised land. The Book will guide us in guiding them from their world of darkness, to Vince McMahon's world of light.

Sebastian Tom: And praise be to Linda, that's where you're going Dougie. Wether you like it or not. Your either going the easy way...

Skyler Michael: In the shuttle bus that Dean Malenko drives.

Sebastian Tom: Or the hard way, where we make it physically impossible for you to wrestle here ever again.

Skyler Michael: We're everything you want to be...Sports Entertainers!

Phil Blauer: Boo!

Guillermo O'Bannon: I never thought I'd see the day that Hardkore World would allow sports entertainers to set foot in this hallowed ring... but that day seems to have come.

Phil Blauer: And Dougie Ray Bullet is the first target.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Your spot may have just opened up again, Phil.

Phil Blauer: It's okay. I have Boone drop me at the door and park up, anyway.

[Fade to boos.]

[Jack Eastwood shrugs and calls for a microphone, his lips twisting into a grin as he addresses the men.]

Eastwood: Wait, wait, wait, hold up...

[He wags his finger as he paces the ring, smirking.]

Eastwood: Now, I hate to correct you lads...

[He pauses, stroking his stubble.]

Eastwood: Alright, maybe that's a lie. I fucking love the fact that the pair of you...

[Turning on his heel, he stands to face them.]

Eastwood: Are stone. Cold. WRONG.

[The audience cheers. He chuckles.]

Eastwood: Tell me something. What in the blue Hell gives you the right to just waltz into this company and tell us we know nothing about entertainment? I don't know about how-

[He gestures at Shiro.]

Eastwood: -Ken here feels, but I think what we had going there was a pretty good match. Talk about suffering for your art, eh?

[He rubs the back of his head, wincing.]

Eastwood: But, you see, that's what this company is, lads. It's art. It's brutal, sadistic art. And if you have a problem with that, then I suggest you rethink your plans, because as far as I can see it's not going to change. So, I'll call your bluff. Try taking me out the hard way. See where it gets you. Because then you'll know what a WRESTLER is.

[Grinning, he rolls out of the ring, grabbing his jacket as he passes.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Strong words from Eastwood there, making his feelings clear.

Phil Blauer: You can't really blame the guy for standing up for what he believes in, but are we going to see him joining Dougie? He'd better watch his back from now on.

[Jack has reached the top of the ramp and spins around to face the ring once more. He raises the mic up one last time.]

Eastwood: Entertainment, my arse.

[He drops the mic and gives Rich and Tom a crotch chop, before smirking and heading to the back.]

[The lights of the arena turn green as “Subtle Hustle” by Clutch begins to blast over the PA, and the University Arena warms up. Snake Charmer walks from the back with a towel over his head and heads to the ring. He slides in under the bottom rope, and tosses the towel under the nearest corner.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: This man Snake Charmer made a winning debut to his Hardkore World career last month in beating Ace Andrews.

Phil Blauer: Who we now wish all the best in his future endeavours.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Basically.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from all over; standing 6'3 and weighing 225 lbs... SNAKE CHARMER!!!

[The crowd cheers and then "Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva replaces Snake Charmer's theme. "The Brain" Allen Anderson walks out from the back with Tarrasque trailing behind him. Tarrasque looks like he has just eaten some rare meat as a bit hangs off of his chin while blood dribbles off of it and onto his chest. Tarrasque roars and follows Anderson to the ring.]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: My steak!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque is one of the most dangerous individuals to set foot in Hardkore World, in my opinion.

Phil Blauer: In a world of very few functioning braincells, he certainly has the very fewest.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Most of his actions are dictated by the sadistic Allen Anderson.

Phil Blauer: And we all know what THAT means...

[There's an awkward silence.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: What?

“Wild” Bill Kasal: And his opponent being accompanied by “The Brain” Allen Anderson, from parts unknown; standing 6'7 and weighing 285lbs... TARRASQUE!!!

Phil Blauer: I dunno. I was kind of hoping you'd be a competent broadcast partner right there.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, the Hardkore World faithful certainly take a shine to Tarrasque but have no love lost for his manager.

[Tarrasque roars as the music dies down and he and Snake Charmer lock eyes. Referee Mike Peters calls for the opening bell.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque has a significant size advantage over Snake Charmer in this one. Then again Snake Charmer is capable of independent thought.

Phil Blauer: I wouldn't say Tarrasque isn't capable of independent thoughts... just that most his independent thoughts don't get much more complex than “hungry” and “need poop”.

Guillermo O'Bannon: At 6'3 and 225 lbs Snake Charmer isn't exactly out of shape. Tarrasque lunges in to grab Snake Charmer but Snake Charmer dodges and hits a drop kick!

Phil Blauer: That seems to have just made Tarrasque mad.

[Tarrasque furiously lunges for Charmer again, who side steps and lets him impact shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Tarrasque turns around into a drop toe hold, and then rolls back to his feet only to be caught by another dropkick.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer showing his speed advantage could really tell over Tarrasque here, he needs to keep this up.

Phil Blauer: That's because he knows if Tarrasque gets a hold of him, he MAY devour his flesh.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer quickly up top and as Tarrasque gets back up drops a leg drop on the back of his head!

Phil Blauer: Almost a rocker dropper there.

Referee Mike Peters: 1... (Tarrasque powers out.)

[Snake Charmer ducks a clothesline and rocks Tarrasque with a European uppercut, buying himself enough time to run off the ropes with a swinging neckbreaker.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Great move by Snake Charmer!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... (Tarrasque kicks out.)

Phil Blauer: The question is how long Snake Charmer can maintain this offence and keep a distance between himself and this simmering pandora's box of roid rage.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer clasps on a front face lock and drives Tarrasques head into the canvas with a DDT!!

Phil Blauer: Meh. Nothing to damage there.

[“The Brain” paces on the outside, shaking his head muttering “no, no, no”. Snake Charmer decides to go aerial again, climbing up to the top of the turnbuckle to a cheer from the crowd.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer looking to go high-flying here, he waits for Tarrasque to get back to his feet and shake off those cobwebs... and Snake Charmer leaps off with a cross body!

[Tarrasque catches Snake Charmer in mid air and flips him in the blink of an eye for a Randy Orton-esque powerslam! The crowd let out an appreciative “oooohhh!”]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Unbelievable from Tarrasque!

Referee Mark Peters: 1... 2... (Snake Charmer kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer taken by complete surprise with that one, and now that momentum he had built is cut off and we may see Tarrasque mount some serious offence.

Phil Blauer: Serious is the world. We've had many sickeningly violent sociopaths down the years in Hardkore World... Matthex X... Lucifer Jones... Kilroy Evans... but Tarrasque stands apart from all of those guys in that he's not just likely to hurt you, he may actually crack open your bones and eat the marrow.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: And your steak!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque applies a vice-like headlock, trying to squeeze the air out of Snake Charmer's throat and seemingly squeeze his eyes out of his head at the same time.

[Snake Charmer struggles for air and his arms flail around desperately looking for a rope. Anderson applauds on the outside.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque flips Snake Charmer to the canvas and maintains the headlock in a grounded position now. He could simply crush the life out of Snake Charmer here!

Phil Blauer: Just like European austerity measures are crushing the life out of the Greek economy! Ammiright?!

[Another awkward silence.]

Phil Blauer: Wow. You're just hanging me out to dry today, huh?

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer manages to catch Tarrasque's head with a leg scissors and reverses the hold! Charmer now clamps his legs on Tarrasque's throat!

Phil Blauer: This could be bad. Assuming Tarrasque needs air like regular people.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque manages to shove Snake Charmer's legs off his throat and both men roll back to their feet- Tarrasque then takes Snake Charmer's head off with a HUGE clothesline!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... (Snake Charmer kicks out.)

[Tarrasque lifts Snake Charmer onto his shoulders, but Snake Charmer counters with a tornado DDT!]

Crowd: Ohhh!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer could do it here!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... (Tarrasque kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: No! Tarrasque escapes! And look now- Allen Anderson on the apron trying to argue with the ref.

Phil Blauer: About what? The refereeing has thusfar been exemplary and unbiased. Don't tell me Allen Anderson isn't raising a legitimate complaint to the official, but is in fact up to some nefarious scheme.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I just won't believe it!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well the referee telling Allen Anderson to get down from the apron, but Peters is shoved aside by Snake Charmer and Anderson thumbs him in the eye!

Phil Blauer: That wily fox!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque plants Snake Charmer with a half nelson facebuster! HDC!!

[The crowd boos as Tarrasque hooks the leg.]

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... (Snake Charmer rolls a shoulder.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque pops back to his feet and stalks Snake Charmer... this one looking ominous now. Tarrasque drops Charmer on his head with a t-bone “Steak” suplex!!

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: He's just rubbing it in!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... (Snake Charmer rolls a shoulder again.)

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I'm off carbs this month, you know.

Guillermo O'Bannon: You've got to wonder how much of this Snake Charmer can take with Tarrasque beginning to take control after Anderson's distraction a moment ago.

[Tarrasque lifts Charmer into a vertebreaker position, steps up onto the second rope and drops backward.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Skullcrusher!! This could be all!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... thr(Snake Charmer kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: No! Not yet!

Phil Blauer: Allen Anderson can't believe it. I think Tarrasque is more confused than anything at the moment.

[Allen Anderson is once again up on the apron to argue with the referee. Tarrasque backs off as Snake Charmer begins to slowly pull himself back up with the ropes.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer looks to be on his last legs here.

[Anderson goes to grab Snake Charmer over the ropes, but Charmer comes to life just enough to guillotine Anderson on the top rope! Anderson falls to the floor outside clutching his neck as Tarrasque, protective of his manager as ever rushes in only to be dumped over the ropes also as Snake Charmer side steps!]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque's body just smacked onto the concrete floor, did you hear that??

[Snake Charmer rolls out of the ring and reaches under the apron, pulling out a pungi!]

Referee Mike Peters: 1...

Guillermo O'Bannon: We heard about this earlier in the month, and we saw the effects this instrument can have on Tarrasque!

Referee Mike Peters: 2...

Phil Blauer: We also saw two Indian dudes get shot. Anything come of that?

Guillermo O'Bannon: This could be Snake Charmer's ace in the hole.

Phil Blauer: We're just glossing over the murders then. Gotcha.

Referee Mike Peters: 3...

[Tarrasque pulls himself up as Snake Charmer begins playing a few notes. Tarrasque starts to sway slightly, seemingly transfixed by the music.]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: It's working!

Referee Mike Peters 4...

Guillermo O'Bannon: Look at this- Snake Charmer could play that pungi all the way to a win here.

Phil Blauer: Tarrasque is in some kind of trance.

[In the crowd, a Warhammer Corp. t-shirt can be seen. A few then begin appearing. The Warhammer Corp. plants begin tossing all manner of projectiles at Tarrasque- drinks, food, programmes, trash, anything they can get their hands on. A coke catches Tarrasque in the side of the head, splattering across his face. This seems to do the trick and Tarrasque snaps out of it, picking Snake Charmer up and driving his back into the steel ring post.]

Referee Mike Peters: 5...

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer down! That pungi was doing the trick but it looks like “The Brain” had prepared for that scenario!

[Snake Charmer holds his back in pain. Tarrasque rolls him back into the ring.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque going for the cover here...

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... thr(Snake Charmer rolls a shoulder.)

[Tarrasque stumbles back into a corner seemingly disorientated and Allen Anderson tries to shout some instructions to him.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque's already limited cognitive functions seem to be shaken by the trance.

Phil Blauer: Anderson doesn't look happy about this situation.

[Tarrasque shakes off some cobwebs and charges into Snake Charmer who moves and lets Tarrasque run right into the referee, in turn shoving him into Allen Anderson.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: “The Brain” sent tumbling off that apron again! Snake Charmer rolls up Tarrasque!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... thr(Tarrasque kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer applies a three quarter facelock and hits repeated knees to Tarrasque's face!

[Tarrasque slumps to the canvas and Snake Charmer pulls himself up to the top of the turnbuckle as the crowd heat up.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Diving leg drop right to the head!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... thr(Tarrasque kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: I think that's the closest we've come yet to a pinfall, but this one isn't over. Incredible.

[Snake Charmer allows Tarrasque to get back to his feet. Tarrasque stumbles back up and Snake Chamer applies a hammerlock from behind with one hand, and a mandible claw with the other.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Handler's Hands!!

Phil Blauer: Tarrasque can't bite down- you know he'd have a chunk out of Charmer's hand if he could!

[Tarrasque desperately tries to throw his free arm into Snake Charmer somehow, and finally runs backward charging Snake Charmer back first into the corner post.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Tarrasque breaks free of the Snake Handler's Hands, Tarrasque blocks a right hand and hits another t-bone “Steak” Suplex!!

[Tarrasque doesn't make the cover immediately allowing Snake Charmer to recover slightly. Both men stir on the canvas but neither get to their feet immediately.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Looks like this one could still go either way. Snake Charmer pulling himself toward the ropes and slips out of the ring. Tarrasque notices and gives chase. But wait... Snake Charmer has that pungi again!

[Tarrasque rolls out of the ring and is just about to get his hands on Snake Chamer when the notes begin to play. Tarrasque is stopped in his tracks and becomes transfixed once more.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Snake Charmer once again using that pungi to incapacitate Tarrasque!

Referee Mike Peters: 1...

Phil Blauer: His expression is even more vacant than usual.

[Tarrasque begins to gently sway back and forth, Charmer keeps playing the pungi and Tarrasque is mesmerised.]

Referee Mike Peters: 2...

Guillermo O'Bannon: “The Brain” comes from behind and lays out Snake Charmer with that cane!!

Referee Mike Peters: 3...

[Allen Anderson barks instructions at Tarrasque to get Snake Charmer back in the ring, but Tarrasque is completely vacant! Anderson snaps his fingers infront of Tarrasque's eyes to no avail.]

Referee Mike Peters: 4...

Guillermo O'Bannon: Look at this! Tarrasque is in such a deep trance “The Brain's” commands are falling on deaf ears!

Referee Mike Peters: 5...

Phil Blauer: The referee's count is gonna keep going. This could be it.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus has instructed Hardkore World referees to use count outs now. We could see one here.

Referee Mike Peters: 6...

[Allen Anderson calls for his plants in the crowd to throw more stuff at Tarrasque, but there's nobody there.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Looks like the Warhammer Corp. friends have been ejected!

Referee Mike Peters: 7...

[Tarrasque is still stood upright, swaying slightly and staring into nothingness. Allen Anderson grabs someone's coke and throws it in Tarrasque's face. He does the same with another, and another.]

Referee Mike Peters: 8...

Guillermo O'Bannon: I can't believe this is how the match is going to end!

Phil Blauer: Snake Charmer's pungi worked brilliantly. Doesn't look like it's going to win him the match, but it's certainly saved him from defeat.

Referee Mike Peters: 9...

[Allen Anderson is furious and even tries blowing a few notes on the pungi to snap Tarrasque out of it, but nothing doing.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: This is it!

Referee Mike Peters: 10!!!

[The referee calls for the bell and while some of the crowd boo's the finish, many are laughing at Anderson's attempts to wake the Beast.]

Phil Blauer: He could be there a while.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, in a time of 13 minutes 39 seconds this match has concluded with a double count out and therefore is declared a DRAW!!!

[Anderson grabs Tarrasque by his huge wrist and pulls, Tarrasque staggers forward, still otherwise unresponsive. An enraged Allen Anderson gets mocked by Hardkore World fans at ringside as he slowly leads his entranced beast away from the ring. Snake Charmer leans back on the metal barricade holding the back of his head and is applauded by the fans.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well this one may not be over folks but for now we've seen a bizarre conclusion to the match up, how long it's going to take Allen Anderson to wake Tarrasque from that trance is anyone's guess.

Phil Blauer: He'll probably just wave some smelling meats under his nose and all will be well.

Guillermo O'Bannon: This one has finished all square, stay with us for that huge six man tag team matchup!

[Fade.]

Back in the locker room, Tarrasque stands in the middle of the room and is covered in blood. The far away look is still in his eyes. "The Brain" Allen Anderson limps heavily back and forth in front of him, one his smart phone while his cane lies on the ground in pieces with bits of raw bloody meat. Anderson has the look of utter rage about him, but is it mixed with something else. Fear?

Anderson: "I've tried waving meat under his nose. I've hit him with the meat. I've even loudly eaten some in front of him...gross. I've stuck him with needles. I've used smelling salts. Injected him with adrenaline. I've even turned on his favorite show the fucking Happy Go Lucky Friends! I've broken my cane over his head. Nothing is bringing him out of this trance! I need to know what to do to get my beast back to the present again. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? Yes...I'll hold."

Anderson paces back and forth, wincing as his limping grows more and more pronounced the longer he walks. He raises Tarrasque's arm and drops it. Nothing. He raises Tarrasque's arm, takes a deep breath, and bites down on his arm hard enough to draw blood. Nothing.

Anderson: "Yes, hello. This is your project. Your creation. He will not respond to outside stimuli after being affected by a pungi. Rebooted. How on Earth do you reboot a mind? Do I look like a fucking hypnotist do you? Yes, I know you can't see me right now so let me rephrase myself here."

Anderson holds the phone out an inch from his mouth, ensuring his mouth is centered over the phone's mic, and takes in a deep breath.

Anderson: "YOU IGNORANT FUCK! DO I SOUND LIKE A MOTHER FUCKING HYPNOTIST TO YOU?"

Anderson holds the phone back as per normal and sighs.

Anderson: "Yes...yes...I will hold."

Anderson notices the camera and surprisingly goes a shade of red.

Anderson: "I forgot a cameraman followed me...and here I am screaming and cursing like an idiot. Nevermind that now. Snake Charmer...you are very lucky. Due to some rather...extreme measures taken of late, the snipers I promised had to make due with traditional ring garbage. It means you will be living through the night. This (he motions to the catatonic Tarrasque) means that you will suffer. My beast has been defeated to be sure, he enjoys it as much as losing since he just wants to fight. The dedication to victory is mine. This...trance he won't wake up from. This is too far. I will wake him and then you will bleed out your last on that stage."

Anderson turns away, attention back on the phone. "Yes...a pungi. No, he won;t come out of the trance. I need him later on. How else can I punish Kilroy Evans if he doesn't respond to commands? I need a tech support team down here before the world championship match. So ASAP! Are you fucking serious? Yes...yes I will hold. Why not?"

[The piano section of "Main Titles" from "Letters from Iwo Jima" plays over the PA system for a moment. As this finishes, "Block Rockin' Beats" by the Chemicals Brothers kicks in and the crowd reaches their feet. It doesn't take long before Rally Jackson pushes out of the curtain.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Here we go with some six man tag team action, as this man Rally Jackson teams up with Andrew Karnage and the new American Heavyweight Champion Bruno to take on “The Rising Sun” Marty Donova, Kota and The Shootfighter.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: "The following contest is a six man tag team match and is scheduled for one fall; introducing first from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; standing 6'2 and weighing 241 pounds... RALLY "Jacare" JACKSON!!!"

[Rally climbs into the ring and acknowledges the fans before "Street Fighting Man" by Rage Against the Machine plays and the crowd roar with appreciation for Andrew Karnage.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Andrew Karnage managed to beat Syberus at Irish Rage in Belfast last month, proving there's plenty left in the tank for this Hardkore World veteran.

[Karnage walks down to the ring confidently, exchanging high fives and bumping a few knuckles on his way down.]

"Wild" Bill Kasal: “And the first of his partners, from Orem, Utah; Standing 6 feet 5 inches tall; Weighing 263 pounds... ANDREW KARNAGE!!!”

[Karnage rolls into the ring and shares a nod with Rally Jackson.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Both of these men surely looking to put this match to bed for their own personal records and move on with another win.

Phil Blauer: Yes.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Thanks, Phil.

Phil Blauer: I'm contractually obligated to have some kind of input.

Guillermo O'Bannon: As color commentator? Who'd have thought it?

Phil Blauer: No need to bring race into this.

Guillermo O'Bannon: What?

Phil Blauer: I thought you were better than that.

[“Bring the Pain” by Method Man starts up and the crowd jump out of their seats with a huge reaction for Bruno. He strides out from the back and raises the Hardkore America Heavyweight Championship above his head.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Here he is ladies and gentlemen; the brand new Hardkore America Heavyweight Champion!

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Bruno pulled off the upset last month against Marty Donovan, sealing his first major Hardkore World honor.

Phil Blauer: Pics or it didn't happen.

Guillermo O'Bannon: There's plenty of pics, Phil. Live with it.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: And their partner; from Compton, California; standing 7' tall, weighing 325 lbs... he is the HARDKORE AMERICA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... the Compton Colossus... BRUNO!!!

[The crowd pops as Bruno steps over the ropes and chats with his partners. The UFC theme begins to play as The Shootfighter makes his way out from backstage and starts to stride down directly to the ring to a chorus of boos.]

“Wild” Bill Kasal: And introducing their opponents, first from Bangkok, Thailand... standing 5'11 and weighing in at 235 lbs... THE SHOOTFIGHTER!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter lost out to Kilroy Evans last month so he's looking for revenge.

[Shootfighter rolls into the ring and raises his arms to more boos.]

Phil Blauer: Gotta love his gumption. Whole lotta gumption in there. And let's face it, if you're gonna be in Hardkore World you need gumption.

[The lights dim slowly,the sound of island children laughing and singing aloud starts followed by an image of a beautiful Island paradise on the screen with the children playing and the sun shining and the peaceful tranquillity of a paradise nation. Dark clouds begin to quickly move past..casting a dark ominous shadow on the island, The screen goes dark, then “God of Thunder” by KISS starts as the screen cuts to a raging volcano..hot lava flowing through a village..burning up everything in its path...the picture turns to rubble and bodies in a ruined village..then Kota appears on the screen..several different shots follow one after the other,he is in the ring..bodysplashing a helpless opponent, then he appears standing on the shore as lightning dances across the sky behind him, the next shot is of Kota kneeling with his arms held out and him looking toward the heavens, the next shows Kota standing over a fallen foe, holding the HKW 6 Man Tag title over head, then the SWAT Statewide title. At the entrance, the silhouette image of a woman appears, the figure makes its way through the lights and onto the ramp. Its Brandi, dressed in an island skirt and very well filled out bra, she smiles a sinister smile as she leads her man to the ring. Kota walks slowly to the ring and turns and looks back at the screen..nodding in approval as he glares at his opponent, then slowly gets on the apron..Brandi puts her weight on the middle rope for Kota as he enters the ring and stares coldly at his adversary. Brandi leads him to the center of the ring where a single spotlight illuminates the 2 as she kneels in front of him, facing the crowd, proudly showing off her charge.]

“Wild” Bill Kasal: And his partner, from the Islands; standing 6'6 and weighing 425lbs... this is KOTA!!!

[A mixed reaction for Kota which is helped by the presence of Brandi. Kota and the Shootfighter barely acknowledge each other.]

Phil Blauer: I'm sure these guys will get along famously. It's not like they're facing two former Hardkore World Champions and the current American Heavyweight Champion or anything.

Guillermo O'Bannon: So you admit; Bruno beat Rising Sun for the title.

Phil Blauer: Bruno couldn't beat YOU for the American title.

Guillermo O'Bannon: But you just-

Phil Blauer: NOPE!!

[The arena goes black as ocean sounds and a distant piano melody can be heard. The first loud chord of "Pirate Jet" by The Gorillaz plays and suddenly blinding white pyros go off.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well here he comes, the FORMER Hardkore American Heavyweight Champion.

[When the pyros fade Marty Donovan is stood on the ramp looking like he's in no mood for shenanigans. Sun begins to walk slowly down to the ring, staring down Bruno.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, none of Rising Sun's usual crew selling t-shirts today, Marty Donovan is clearly not in the mood to fool around.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: And their partner, from Cheshire, Connecticut; standing 6' even; weighing 230 lbs... “the Rising Sun” MARTY DONOVAN!!!”

[Marty climbs into the ring to a hail of boos and soon a “Bruno!!! Bruno!!! Bruno!!!” chant picks up, to which Marty snaps and yells at the crowd to shut up.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Not performing the ring announcement for your close personal friend tonight, Phil?

Phil Blauer: ...I'm scared.

[Ron Reid calls for the opening bell. Andrew Karnage starts off for his team and Shootfighter kicks things off for the other.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Collar and elbow tie dead centre, Karnage bullies Shootfighter here but Shoot pulls off an arm capture takedown and applies an armbar immediately. Karnage scissors Shootfighter's head with his legs and escapes the hold; both men roll back to their feet.

[A smatter of brief applause before Shootfighter ducks a clothesline and executes a hip toss taking Karnage down. Karnage pops up and is caught out by an arm drag, and then a high kick which rocks him back into his corner stunned. Bruno tags himself in.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes the American champion! Rising Sun calls for the tag from Shootfighter who obliges, here we go!

[Sun hops into the ring against Bruno and ducks a right hand before coming off the ropes with a flying back heel kick.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... (Bruno shoves Sun off.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rising Sun waits for Bruno and tags him with a right hand that Bruno simply shakes off! And another! And another! Sun can't believe it but Bruno is seemingly unaffected here!

[Bruno flattens Sun with a clothesline and the crowd pops.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... (Sun kicks out.)

Phil Blauer: It's going to take more than that. IT'S GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN THAT, BRUNO!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Relax. Bruno pulls Sun up onto his shoulders, but Sun slips off behind and pulls off a reverse DDT as he does so!

[Bruno's head bounces off the canvas and the crowd boos.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... (Bruno kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rising Sun tags in Kota and the big islander steps through the ropes, starting to work on Bruno with some stomps right away.

[Kota whips Bruno to the ropes and takes him down with a back elbow on his return. Kota leaps in the air and drives down all his weight with a body splash! Brandi applauds on the outside, Rally seems more interested in her tits than the match.]

Phil Blauer: Looks like Brandi might have an admirer in Rally Jackson. If she's got a thing for smelly Brazilians with a bucket of STD's, he's her man.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kota plants Bruno with a Bulldog, the Hardkore American Champion on the receiving end, here.

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Bruno kicks out.)

[Kota shoves Bruno back into a corner and drives his shoulder into his ribs. Bruno doubles over in agony and slumps to the canvas trying to catch his breath.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rising Sun calling for the tag again. Kota tags in the former American Champion and Sun charges in with a running knee to the skull right away! Bruno is down!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Bruno rolls a shoulder.)

Phil Blauer: Great awareness from my good friend Marty Donovan there. Saw a window and almost took advantage. Now THAT'S gumption.

[Sun pulls up Bruno by his head and headbutts him. Bruno staggers back into the ropes and Sun charges in. Bruno counters and flips him over the ropes, but Sun lands on the apron with great agility! Sun pulls down on Bruno's head, guillotining him on the top rope and Bruno staggers back. Sun springboards with a cross body but Bruno catches him!]

Phil Blauer: Uh-oh.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Bruno with a backbreaker!!

[Sun arches his back and rolls around in agony. Bruno tags in Rally Jackson.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Here comes the three time Hardkore World Heavyweight champion. Rally takes down Sun with an STO and applies a figure four armlock.

[Sun groans with the pain as Rally rags back on the arm and shoulder. Ron Reid asks if Sun wants to give up, but Sun refuses. He kicks at the canvas with his heels.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter in the ring kicks the back of Rally Jackson's head!

[Rally rolls off holding the back of his head and Shootfighter nips out again before anyone can react. Sun tags in Shootfighter who goes right to work on Rally.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter plants Rally Jackson with a backdrop- and knocks Andrew Karnage off the apron! Bruno tries to enter the ring but Ron Reid stops him!

[Sun and Kota are immediately in stomping all over Rally while the referee's back is turned which draws boos from the audience. When Ron Reid turns around again, Kota and Sun are already rolling back out of the ring and Shootfighter is on the cover.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Rally kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter stalks Rally who stumbles back to his feet and tosses him overhead with an Exploder Suplex!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Rally kicks out.)

[Shoot picks up Rally who strikes him in the midsection. Rally whips Shoot to the ropes and takes him down with a drop toe hold. Rally tags in Bruno.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The American Champion back in the action, Bruno swings at Shoot but Shootfighter ducks and cracks a stiff forearm strike into Bruno's jaw which rocks the big man in a big way!

Phil Blauer: Bruno's seeing stars!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter lays Bruno out with a spinning Russian Sickle! Spinning Blade!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Bruno rolls a shoulder.)

Phil Blauer: That was nearly it!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter almost scoring a pin over the Hardkore America Champion! Kota calls for the tag, and Shootfighter tags him in.

[Kota steps into the ring and starts beating down on Bruno. Rising Sun pulls Andrew Karnage off the apron and the two start brawling on the outside!]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Look at this, Rising Sun trying to eliminated one of Bruno's tag options here!

[Shootfighter grabs Bruno's Hardkore America Heavyweight title belt and yells at Kota to hold Bruno.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Shootfighter is going to use that belt as a weapon- but Rally Jackson cracks a high kick on the side of his head!!

[Shoot rolls out of the ring and Bruno breaks free of Kota, kneeing him in the ribs. Bruno hooks up Kota for the Brunobuster.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: No!! Surely he can't...

Phil Blauer: Kota is over 400 lbs!

[The crowd pop and Bruno uses all of his strength to lift Kota for the Brunobuster. It's clumsier than usual due to the weight, but Kota crashes down on his neck and shoulders nonetheless and the crowd let out a huge “Oooooohhhhhh!!!!”]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Brunobuster!! He got it- but wait! Rally slams that American title belt into Bruno's head! What's this?!

[Rally stands over Bruno looking at the Hardkore American title belt for a second before draping Bruno's arm over Kota for the cover, despite both men being motionless.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... 3!!!

[The crowd boos as Rally drops the belt on Bruno and demands Ron Reid raises his arm. “Bring the Pain” plays again and Andrew Karnage looks up midway through punching Rising Sun in the face on the outside to realise what's happened.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Rally Jackson just laid out his own partner in this match!

Phil Blauer: Clearly sending a statement about wanting a shot at that title.

[Rally rolls out looking pleased with himself and makes his way up the ramp shrugging off some insults from the crowd. Others applaud him.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: What he didn't do was cost his team the win, after that huge Brunobuster Kota was going nowhere.

“Wild” Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen in a time of 8 minutes 23 seconds here are your winners... RALLY JACKSON, ANDREW KARNAGE and BRUNO!!!

[Rally raises his arms on the ramp and motions a belt around his waist. Karnage checks on Bruno in the ring as we fade.]

"The Brain" Allen Anderson sits in a chair in his locker room, watching the television screen in disgust. He glances back over at Tarrasque, who is still standing in a trance. He has not moved this entire time.

Anderson: "You let Karnage get away without the slightest abuse. I put plans into motion and you help actually do them. That's how this works."

Anderson waits as if Tarrasque is actually going to respond and then rolls his eyes.

Anderson: "Idiot."

There is a knock at the door followed by it opening. Anderson watches as Sikarin Tsooth glides into the room with a cruel grin. He holds aloft his staff with the large dragon claw holding a blue crystal with a human skull in it over in front of Tarrasque's eyes. A light blue glow from the crystal is reflected back from Tarrasque's unmoving eyeballs.

Tsooth: "I'd say you broke him good."

Anderson nearly leaps out of his chair, but putting weight on his bad knee drops him back into the chair. Sikarin notes the swollen knee with a harsh laugh.

Tsooth: "And you look like you broke yourself as well. I saw the pungi player do his work and I have brought with me a fix so this doesn't happen again. It will cause other elements of his personality to become unstable so he may shift between his happy go-lucky self and his original state at random times. Is this acceptable?"

Anderson motions to Tarrasque. "Do you think it might be better than being an organic statue?"

Sikarin chuckles and begins waving his staff in front of Tarrasque's eyes in a peculiar motion. When done with this, he sets the staff down and brings out a small sheng (a mouth-blown free reed instrument consisting of vertical pipes). He begins playing a haunting melody on the sheng, calling back to ancient times and places.
Tarrasque's eyes becomes focused and narrowed. He crouches down ready to pounce. Sikarin quits playing and holds out a restraining hand, adding a few words in chinese. Tarrasque calms down and sits down in a nearby chair.

Anderson looks at him hopefully. "Is he cured?"

Sikarin nods. "That he is though you could ask him for yourself. It'll help gauge his current mood."

Anderson: "Right. Beast...are you okay? You still ready for the rest of the evening?"

Tarrasque focuses on Anderson, his expression going predatory.

Tarrasque: "Me ready. When we begin hunting? We make the Strong angry so me can fight him...for you."

Anderson laughs. "Excellent. Most excellent! Thank you, Sikarin. Now don't get me the wrong way, but now you need to leave. I will be having food sent in to bring up my beast's strength and going over plans."

Sikarin bows with a smirk. "As you wish. We will discuss your payment later."

Anderson watches him leave with a grimace. He hates having to owe Sikarin a favor. He glances at the cameraman.

Anderson: "You too. Out...I won't discuss my plans in front of a camera to give everything away."

(bruno is in his dressing room being checked on while his friend tony damico is trying to calm him down)

BRUNO: That low life piece of trash what the hell is his freaking problem?

TONY: Look calm down bro I told you he couldn't be trusted. For now just relax and let the guys do their jobs. You took a pretty good blow to the head from your title belt. They need to make sure you don't have a concussion or worse.

BRUNO:(calming down) Fine but make no mistake about it Rally is going to pay for what he did. If he was a real man all he had to do was step to me and say he wanted a shot at my Hardkore America Heaavyweight Title. But instead he wanted to make a statement well it's been heard and my response to it any time, any place, any where. Just like I beat the so called Great Marty Donovan for this tile I will do the same to you Rally "jacare" Jackson.

(bruno suddenly passes out as tony looks on with a worried look on his face)

fade out.............

[Rally "Jacare" Jackson steps over Bruno's unconscious body and speaks.]

Rally Jackson: Don't know what he's so mad at. We still won. Mainly because of me. After all, I 'helped' Bruno get the winning pin. The boy should be thanking me.

[Bruno's "friend" Tony D'Amico has already left.]

Rally Jackson: ::picking something up:: Hey you forgot your bottle of lubricant.

Bruno man, it's not personal. It's just business. Don't take this too seriously. A month or so ago, I was about to take the world title from that young up and comer James Fierce when I realized something. What's the point in winning a title I've already won three times? So I let him win to save me the trouble.

But the American title, on the other hand, is one belt that has eluded me for the better part of a decade. I won the title in Canada, Japan, and Puerto Rico. But I never won the American one.

I see you as champion and I'm like okay, Bruno. You're a nice guy. You probably came up from the mean streets of Harlem, paid your dues selling knockout cologne out of the trunk of your car, went to college on some minority with disability scholarship. I respect you for how far you've come. But you're just not championship material. And it is my civic duty, to relieve you of your title.

The kids had their fun, but now it's time for the adults to take their titles. I got this, Bruno. You're no longer needed. Goodbye.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well folks, we're still amazed out here by the actions of Rally Jackson, using that title belt as a weapon against his own partner Bruno as a statement of intent. But up next the West Coast title is about to be decided, as Hardkore World owner Syberus takes on a bunch of "local talent".

Phil Blauer: You've got to give credit to the way he gives these kids their big chance. What an upset it would be if Max Power or "Jumpin" Joseph Joe Johnson walked out with the gold.

Guillermo O'Bannon: ...yeah.

["Punching in a Dream" by the Naked and Famous starts playing and the crowd cheers. Syberus walks out from backstage wearing a t-shirt which bears the same kind of print as Eddie Guerrero's "I'm Your Papi" t-shirt except Syberus's reads "I'm your Gyno". Syberus walks slowly down to the ring smiling at the crowd and exchanging a few high fives.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore World faithful seem to be coming round more and more to Syberus all the time.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Syberus has never lost a Hardkore World match in Albuquerque, and it was the sight of his historic first Hardkore World Heavyweight title victory over Robert Hunglestein III.

Phil Blauer: Ah, memories. We were different people then.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: The following contest is an elimination battle royal for the HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPIONSHIP!!!; Introducing first, from Manchester England, standing 6' even and weighing 232 lbs... he is the owner of Hardkore World... SYBERUS!!!

[The crowd cheers as Syberus rolls into the ring, hops up and raises his arms. He motions the belt around his waist and grins.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, I think it's safe to say Syberus is heavy favourite in this one.

Phil Blauer: But he'll have to valiantly outlast a bunch of hungry young bloods in order to win.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Oh, I'm up.

Phil Blauer: What?

[Matt Boone walks over to a synth set up nearby and starts to play. That is starts to randomly press buttons. Hugo Dellago, Max Power, "Jumpin'" Joseph Joe Johnson, "The Extreme Sadistic Insane One" Jayzen Rayne, Molt Kleibenz, Justicar Cole and Luis Hawken all walk out together to Boone's music.]

"Wild" Bill Kasal: And his opponents... THE LOCAL COMPETITORS!!!

[The crowd boo as they flood the ring. Syberus leans back in one corner but Boone doesn't stop playing.]

Phil Blauer: Uh, Boone...

[Boone hasn't noticed everyone is ready for the match to take place and continues playing, clearly getting into his rythm on the synth.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Matt?

[Syberus is looking over at Boone as he finally glances up and realises everyone is staring at him waiting to start. There's an awkward pause througout the whole arena.]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: ...but I was just finding my sound!

[Syberus shakes his head and signals for the bell. He realises Referee Mike Peters is there.]

Syberus: Oh, sorry that's your job.

[Mike Peters calls for the opening bell and the local competitors immediately charge into a mass brawl with each other, completely ignoring Syberus who leans back in his corner still.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well, we're underway here... these debutants all seemingly aiming for each other.

Phil Blauer: Isn't it obvious? This isn't just a chance to win gold it's a chance to impress the boss! These young bucks all want to outdo each other.

Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't think that's quite it, Phil.

[Syberus checks his nails as the jobbers continue to boot, stomp, elbow and punch each other in a flurry of barely focused offense.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Syberus is clearly letting these guys wear each other out and they've obviously been given instructions not to go near him! It's so obvious!

Phil Blauer: Sure, just crap all over their big chance. Honestly Guillermo. Who hurt you?

[Syberus idly tears back and re-applies a peice of loose wrist tape and leans his head on his hand on the turnbuckle.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well Hardkore World's commander in chief certainly not looking too bothered by what's going on here.

[Luis Hawken is knocked back and stumbles away from the pack. Syberus is on him in a flash kicking him in the ribs and dropping him head first with the Pure Confidence DDT.]

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: One down.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, Luis Hawken has been eliminated.

Phil Blauer: What a fighter. He gave it his all. There'll be other days, champ.

[Syberus returns to his position in the corner and starts picking his nose.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The West Coast title will be returning to the waist of Syberus tonight, but not exactly in glorious fashion.

Phil Blauer: Open your horizons, Guillermo. Open your mind. I smell an upset. I saw Max Power in the gym earlier. That guy can bench.

Guillermo O'Bannon: "Jumpin" Joseph Joe Johnson gets knocked down by Molt Kleibenz... Syberus drops a knee on his face!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: And there we have it.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, "Jumpin" Joseph Joe Johnson has been eliminated.

[Syberus returns to the corner and starts stretching his quads.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well Syberus has a sound strategy, I'll give him that. Stand back and let these kids beat the hell out of each other and pick them off as they come. But these guys have not only yet to lay a finger on Syberus, they haven't even acknowledged his presence.

Phil Blauer: What are you implying, some kind of foul play?!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yes, Phil. That's exactly what I've been implying the whole time.

Phil Blauer: In the hallowed circle of Hardkore World?

Guillermo O'Bannon: Difficult to imagine, I know. Molt Kleibenz walks into a knee, Syberus hooks the arms and drops him with Robert Hunglestein's High Life!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

Phil Blauer: Syberus is going to do it! I can't believe it! THREE men eliminated all by himself.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, Molt Kleibenz has been eliminated.

[Syberus once again goes back to his corner with a yawn and a scratch at his stubble. The remaining local competitors are still working each other over, with Max Power forcing "The Extreme Sadistic Insane One" Jayzen Rayne back into a corner with some rights and lefts, and Hugo Dellago working over Justicar Cole.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: We're down to these last five competitors now, folks. Syberus only looking interested when there's an isolated individual to take out.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: This gives me an idea for a song.

Phil Blauer: Never play synth near me again.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: But I everytime I touch a track it turns into gold!

[Hugo Dellago runs into splash Justicar Cole but Cole sidesteps and Dellago hits the turnbuckle. Cole irish whips Dellago across the ring into a belly to belly suplex by Syberus onto the turnbuckle, which draws an "ooohhh!" from the crowd. Dellago slumps to the canvas.]

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: There goes Dellago.

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, Hugo Dellago has been eliminated.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Jayzen Rayne starts fighting back and he and Justicar Cole begin a double team on Max Power.

[Rayne and Cole hitch up Max Power for a double suplex. He crashes to the canvas and Syberus makes the cover.]

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Now we're down to three.

Phil Blauer: There's magic in the air!

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, Max Power has been eliminated.

[Jayzen Rayne DDT's Justicar Cole. He goes for the cover and Syberus kicks him in the head.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Doesn't look like Syberus wants anyone else to eliminate anyone else.

[Syberus hooks Jazyen Rayne for the Pure Confidence and drops him on his face.]

Phil Blauer: Pure Confidence!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, Jayzen Rayne has been eliminated.

[Syberus is back to his feet slowly circling the ring and cracks his neck from side to side. He steps out of the ropes and onto the apron.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: What's he thinking here?

[Justicar Cole gets back up, shaking off the DDT. Syberus leaps from the apron and springboards off the top rope, grabbing Cole by the head and yanking it to the side with his momentum and weight.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Paralyser!!!

Referee Mike Peters: 1... 2... 3!!!

[The bell rings to a cheer from the crowd as "Punching in a Dream" plays again. Mike Peters hands Syberus the West Coast title belt and raises his arm.]

Phil Blauer: I don't believe it! Against all the odds!

"Wild" Bill Kasal: Ladies and gentlemen, in a time of 5 minutes 31 seconds here is your winner and NEW HARDKORE WEST COAST CHAMPION... SYBERUS!!!!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Yeah, didn't see that coming.

Phil Blauer: It's a feat to rival the accomplishments of Achilles himself.

[Syberus grabs a microphone and his music dies down.]

Syberus: I wanna say a few words if that's alright. To be honest I never thought I'd be able to get back to this level again. But you people pulled me through. You taught me to dream dreams. You taught me that as long as I believe in myself I can achieve anything... and now... I'm the West Coast Champion!!! Thankyou so much!!!

[He raises the belt in the air and his music plays again. Pockets of the crowd break into a "Syberus" chant.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Well it seems the Hardkore World faithful are willing to go along with this little charade. What's wrong Phil?

Phil Blauer: I just... I got something in my eye...

[Guillermo shakes his head as Syberus makes his way up the ramp, lifting the West Coast title above his head.]

[“Seventeen Years” by Ratatat cranks into play and the crowd in the University Arena leap from their seats. After a few seconds Kilroy Evans makes his way through the curtain and the cheers intensify. He pauses on the stage to smile and wave at the crowd before making his way toward the ring. Some kid hands him a giant foam finger which he places over his hand and wears to the ring.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: It's time folks. Our main event of the evening sees the Hardkore World Heavyweight title on the line, as Kilroy Evans gets the chance to win the belt for a second time and join James Fierce as a 2-time holder of the belt. And listen to this reception.

Phil Blauer: The people of Hardkore World identify with Kilroy Evans more than any other wrestler I've seen. Twisted violence, shenanigans, cuddly exterior... what's not to love??

[Kilroy walks over to the announcers' table and hands the giant foam finger to Boone, ruffling his hair.]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: I'll treasure it always!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Let's take you back down memory lane to Kilroy's first and only Hardkore World title win, against Syberus the champion's own back yard Manchester, England... in Hardkore Britain.

Phil Blauer: Rest in peace Gary.

Guillermo O'Bannon: I don't think Gary Breaks is dead, Phil.

Phil Blauer: He lived his life like a candle in the wind.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Anyway, great memories there for Kilroy.

Phil Blauer: Yeah, I'm sure he always pictured celebrating his big Hardkore World title win surrounded by great friends like the Queen Express and Psychotic Goth.

[Kilroy steps up onto a turnbuckle and throws up his hands, waving to the crowd again who pop even more. “Stuck in the Middle With You” by Stealers Wheel replaces “Seventeen Years” and the crowd respond much the same, cheering Fierce as he pushes through the curtain with the Hardkore World Heavyweight title over his shoulder. He makes his way down to the ring with a confident strut and a smirk showing through his beard.]

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone *still wearing the foam finger*: James Fierce defeated Andrew Sinclair for his first Hardkore World title back in 2006, though that reign was short lived, he started his current and much more impressive reign at Palm Springs Punishment 2010 by beating the legendary Matthew X.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Let's take a look at those as well.

Phil Blauer: I suppose that's only fair.

Phil Blauer: Just lovely.

[Fierce holds the belt above his head to a huge cheer from the crowd. Both men stand in separate corners as “Wild” Bill Kasal steps forward to make the introductions.]

“Wild” Bill Kasal: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall; and is for the HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger, from Attbury, South Carolina; standing 5'11 inches tall and weighing 253 lbs... he is a former UWA World Heavyweight Champion, IWA World Triple Crown Champion and Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion... this... is KILROY EVANS!!!”

[A huge pop from the crowd as Kilroy raises his arms. Fierce shuffles the title belt over his shoulder and cracks his neck to the side.]

“Wild Bill Kasal: “And his opponent... from Wayne County, West Virginia; standing 6'3 inches tall and weighing 285 lbs... he is a two-time former Hardkore West Coast Heavyweight Champion and he is the CURRENT reigning and defending HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... JAMES FIERCE!!!

[The crowd roars as Fierce holds the title above his head with both hands. He hands it to Ron Reid who presents it to Kilroy, before passing it out to the timekeeper Ron De La O.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Introductions out of the way, it's now time for that championship to be decided in front of this capacity crowd in the University Arena.

[Ron Reid calls for the opening bell and Fierce and Kilroy come together in the centre face to face. Fierce looks serious, but Kilroy can't help laughing, even though he is obviously trying his best not to.]

Phil Blauer: You can always count on Kilroy to diffuse a tense moment.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce tags Kilroy with a right hand and rocks him back to the ropes, the champion making sure Evans realizes this is no laughing matter. Fierce swings Kilroy across the ring with an irish whip and knocks him to the mat with a back elbow.

[Kilroy rolls back to his feet and smiles. He charges in and picks up Fierce, driving him backward into the corner.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy headbutts Fierce and hip tosses him to the canvas.

Phil Blauer: Both these men were winners at the Irish Rage in Belfast pay per view last month; but the real showdown was at the pre-show buffet.

Guillermo O'Bannon: I heard about that.

Phil Blauer: They started at opposite ends of the table, but we all knew it wouldn't be long until they collided at the center over the last cajun spiced chicken leg.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter: Both men were heavily fined after Syberus's hair was almost messed up in the scuffle.

[Kilroy slaps on a headlock and squeezes like a vice on Fierce's neck.]

Phil Blauer: At last the battle of the buffet can be settled.

[Fierce squirms and kicks but Kilroy keeps the headlock in place.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: We all know Fierce is a competitive eater. Kilroy is handy with a fork himself.

Phil Blauer: Maybe Fierce sees Kilroy as the only guy who can truly challenge him on both fronts' which explains his disdain.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce grabs the rope and breaks the headlock. He shoulder barges Kilroy in the midsection as he gets back to his feet, and lamps Kilroy with a forearm smash across the jaw.

[Fierce whips Kilroy across the ring and Kilroy comes steaming back with a clothesline, which Fierce ducks. Kilroy runs the ropes again and comes back with a second clothesline, which Fierce ducks again. Kilroy doesn't seem to give up too easily, and keeps running the ropes trying to hit a clothesline each time he passes Fierce, who ducks each and every time. The crowd start to laugh as a sixth, seventh, and eighth clothesline attempt passes.]

Phil Blauer: Well, can't fault his persistence.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy doesn't seem to be getting the message here.

Phil Blauer: This is about as much cardio as Kilroy has done in his entire life.

[Eventually the magic number is reached and for the tenth time Fierce ducks the clothesline. He then spoils the party by taking Kilroy down with a drop toe hold, which the crowd boo light heartedly but are quick to forgive him for.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce drops onto Kilroy and locks his hands under his chin, applying the camel clutch.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Obviously these two are no strangers having competed in basically the same promotions for roughly a decade. It was actually the last time we were in this very arena in 2010 where James Fierce defeated Kilroy for the Hardkore West Coast title! He went on to retain it the following month against Andrew Karnage, putting that with the win over Karnage in Palm Springs two months ago and Fierce is on a real roll against the MVCII in recent times.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Winning back that Hardkore World title tonight would more than make up for it, but Fierce is still in control with this camel clutch applied.

Phil Blauer: But who will be in control of the sour cream dip? That's still undecided.

[Ron Reid asks if Kilroy wants to give up but Kilroy refuses. Fierce breaks the hold and jumps up to drive down all his weight and sit out on Kilroy's back.]

Crowd: Oohhh!

Guillermo O'Bannon: 285 lbs and gravity doing all the work!

Phil Blauer: 285 lbs and 80 percent of that body mass is processed meat.

[Fierce pulls Kilroy back to his feet and scoops him onto his shoulder, dropping him throat first onto the top rope.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy bounces back and Fierce takes him down with a russian leg sweep.

Referee Ron Reid: 1... (Kilroy kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce drops the elbow across Kilroy's throat, and rest assured he'll be looking to land that from the top rope as soon as he can. Kilroy Evans back up to his feet, and the champion wheels back to deliver a discuss lariat!

Phil Blauer: You could see the mist of gravy sweat spatter from both men on that impact.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Delightful.

[Fierce goes up top and the crowd cheer. Kilroy gives him no chance to hit the elbow by rolling out of the ring to the floor below.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce climbs down and steps down the ring stairs in chase of Kilroy Evans. Fierce slams Kilroy's face into the steel ring post!

[Kilroy stumbles around and Fierce irish whips him into the steel barricade, the force of which takes him well into the front row spilling fans from their seats and crushing a couple of marks.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce takes a chair from ringside and Kilroy Evans only just manages to pull himself up with the help of that barricade before Fierce smashes him in the face!

Phil Blauer: This one hasn't taken long to get brutal. Not that we should be surprised.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce rolls Kilroy back in the ring and hooks the leg.

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Kilroy kicks out.)

Phil Blauer: There aren't many people who can brush off a chairshot. Kilroy Evans has just taken- and handed out- so many of them in his time that they're now just a basic aspect of the contest.

Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce goes for the backdrop suplex but Kilroy elbows out of that one... Evans comes off the ropes with a lariat to the back of the head!

[Fierce jolts forward and spikes face first on the canvas, then rolls around holding his mouth. Kilroy mounts Fierce and starts to bite down on his forehead which draws a yelp from Fierce and a pop from the audience.]

Phil Blauer: There will be teeth!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy trying to bite a chunk out of the champion here, giving a frighteningly literal new definition to the phrase “tooth and nail”!

[Fierce kicks at the canvas with his heels and fights Kilroy off before he has the chance to draw blood. Fierce checks his face for blood then bursts into action as Kilroy advances again, lifting him up onto his shoulders.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce could be going for a death valley driver here but Kilroy holds onto the ropes! Fierce shoves him over the top but Fierce lands on his feet on the apron.

[Kilroy grabs Fierce by the head and drops his throat down onto the top rope, sending Fierce recoiling back to the canvas and holding his neck. Kilroy rolls back into the ring and waits for Fierce to stumble back to his feet, tossing him with a belly to belly suplex.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Fierce kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy Evans cups the back of the champion's head and brings him back to his feet. Kilroy feigns a headbutt and when Fierce flinches... Kilroy bits his nose!!

[Fierce stamps his feet in agony and punches at the side of Kilroy's head, knocking him loose. Kilroy stumbles and Fierce lifts him onto his shoulders.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: James Fierce with a running fireman's carry brainbuster!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Kilroy rolls a shoulder.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Nothing doing, the champion survives, but James Fierce knows just how much it's actually going to take to keep this challenger down.

[Fierce goes up to the top rope but once again Kilroy moves before he can execute the elbow drop. Kilroy soon meets Fierce in the corner and the two of them start trading blows.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy going up top with Fierce! Kilroy throws Fierce from the top with a another belly to belly suplex!! 540 lbs of impact!!

Crowd: Ooooohh!

[Kilroy has to shake off the cobwebs but eventually crawls over to the cover.]

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Fierce kicks out.)

Phil Blauer: The last time these guys hit the canvas together there was almost a nuclear disaster in Fukushima.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Neither man quick to get back up here, but Kilroy as the aggressor in that move is understandably the first to stir somewhat. Still James Fierce with incredible fortitude to kick out from that superplex.

[Kilroy rolls slowly out of the ring and catches his breath for a moment before taking the ring bell from Ron De La O.]

Ron De La O: Fuck Youuuuuuuu Man!

Phil Blauer: The old ones are the best.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy is back in the ring and has that bell in hand- the Hardkore World champion is just about pulling himself back up here.

[Kilroy brings the bell over Fierce's head with a clang. Fierce slumps to the canvas and Kilroy shoves the bell out of the ring.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy applies an STF to the seemingly unconscious James Fierce!

Phil Blauer: I doubt Fierce even knows where he is at the moment, let alone what submission hold he's in. Quick, someone get him some smelling salts! The brine from a jar of hot dogs is fine.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy has this STF applied and is demanding the referee check with James Fierce if he wants to submit, but Ron Reid is getting no response.

Phil Blauer: Looks like it's going to have to be the ol' arm check.

[Ron Reid raises Fierce's arm once, it falls.]

Ron Reid: 1!

Guillermo O'Bannon: This would be some way to lose the Hardkore World title!

[Ron Reid raises Fierce's arm again, it falls.]

Ron Reid: 2!

Guillermo O'Bannon: This could be it! If Fierce's arm falls to the canvas for a third time, we have a new champion!

[Ron Reid raises Fierce's arm for the third and final time, but it doesn't fall!]

Phil Blauer: Gasp! I'm shocked! This is an unforeseen turn of events!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce is still in it! But Kilroy Evans still has this STF cinched in and Fierce must find a way out of it- now that he's coming to.

[The referee asks Fierce if he wants to submit, be he refuses. Fierce starts to crawl with his free arm towards the ropes, dragging Kilroy's weight on his back.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: What a show of strength by the champion- to bring the not entirely unsubstantial frame of Kilroy Evans along as he battles to reach those ropes!

[Fierce finally reaches the ropes and the crowd pops. Ron Reid forces Kilroy to break the hold. Kilroy gets back up and stomps on Fierce a few times, before picking him up, but Fierce manages to flick out with a low blow and drop Kilroy with a DDT.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Gary Wolfe's Favourite Move!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Kilroy kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: But Kilroy survives.

[Fierce rolls off the cover and once again both men are down for the moment. The crowd start chanting back and forth with “let's go Fierce!” and “let's go Kilroy!”.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: The Hardkore World faithful here in Albuquerque have seen some great action tonight but they're still right here with us and are behind both these two men, in this battle for the Hardkore World Heavyweight title.

[At this point, “The Brain” Allen Anderson makes his way through the crowd toward an empty prepared seat to a hail of boos. Anderson looks dishevelled like he's had a long day.]

Phil Blauer: Looks like “The Brain” wants to have a closer look at this match.

Guillermo O'Bannon: It's no secret that Anderson wants Tarrasque to have a shot at whoever wins this match, but after failing to defeat Snake Charmer tonight Tarrasque may have dented his chances.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Did you see the foam hand Kilroy gave me?

Phil Blauer: I don't remember it being autographed.

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Uhh... sure it was... this whole time...

Guillermo O'Bannon: Champion and challenger down but beginning to stir. The bigger the hits get, the more and more it starts to take its toll on these two men.

[The University Arena crowd begin to rattle the barricade, clap their hands and stamp their feet, urging Kilroy and Fierce to get back to their feet. Both men pull themselves up in opposite corners of the ring.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: We knew we'd see these guys give everything in the name of that Hardkore World title tonight, and that's what we're seeing. James Fierce lifts a knee and delivers a fisherman's suplex!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... (Kilroy kicks out.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce wastes no time and follows up by scooping Kilroy up for a darkness buster!! This could be all!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Kilroy rolls a shoulder.)

Guillermo O'Bannon: Ohh! Just at the last second Kilroy Evans made that shoulder shoot off the canvas.

[Fierce looks hopelessly at Ron Reid as the crowd cheers. Fierce slaps the canvas in frustration and rolls out of the ring.]

Phil Blauer: Looks like Fierce is gonna bring in some artillery.

[Fierce takes hold of the Hardkore World Heavyweight title belt and raises it above his head for a second to a cheer from the crowd. He rolls into the ring and swings with it, but Kilroy stops him dead with a boot to the stomach and rocks him with some right hands.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy with a gutwrench suplex!

[Kilroy takes his time to pull himself back together after throwing the suplex on instinct; pulling himself slowly up in the corner with a grimace. Fierce sits up in the centre of the ring holding the small of his back.]

Phil Blauer: Both men starting to feel the match now. It could be over at any second.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy pulls Fierce up and rattles some tired strikes over his head. Kilroy whips Fierce across the ropes who comes back with a clothesline; Kilroy ducks and plants the champion with a spinebuster on his return!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... thr(Fierce kicks out.)

[Kilroy shakes his head and starts to climb the turnbuckle to a buzz from the crowd.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy looking to finish this one and win his second Hardkore World Heavyweight title by going high-risk here... what's this... Kilroy leaps off with the elbow drop! But Fierce moves! Nobody home!!

[Kilroy arches off the canvas in agony and rolls around cradling his arm after missing with the elbow drop.]

Phil Blauer: Fierce could have lost the title with his own move there!

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce drives Kilroy's head into that Hardkore World title belt with a rocker dropper! Christopher Reeves Driver!!

[Kilroy is laid out and Fierce looks to the corner to a cheer of encouragement from the crowd.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Fierce could have Kilroy covered here... but he's going up top for that elbow drop!

former prowrestling.com internet reporter Matt Boone: Fierce has put many opponents away with this elbow drop.

[A groan from the crowd as Allen Anderson, “The Brain”, is over the barrier and Fierce spots him in the corner of his eye. Anderson hobbles over and points the cane menacingly at Fierce.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: What's this? Allen Anderson getting involved where he doesn't belong!

Phil Blauer: But here comes the Beast!

[The crowd cheers as Tarrasque comes down and in his own primitive way tries to convince Anderson not to get involved.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: We saw Tarrasque finally break out of that trance earlier, now it seems he wants to see this match play out! And these Hardkore World fans agree!

[Anderson finally seems to relent and turns away to walk up the ramp. Fierce shakes his head and turns his attention back to Kilroy, who is recovered, though bleeding heavily, and smashes Fierce with several stiff, savage forearms to the jaw.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: Look at this- Kilroy up to the second rope... he grabs Fierce by the head and pulls him all the way off the top of the turnbuckle with the Bad Touch!!!

Referee Ron Reid: 1... 2... 3!!!

[The crowd burst out of their seats as “Seventeen Years” by Ratatat plays once more. Kilroy sits up off the cover with blood flowing down his face and clearly knocked senseless. Ron Reid drapes the belt over his lap and raises his arm.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: He's done it! We have a new Hardkore World Champion!

"Wild" Bill Kasal: "At 17 minutes 37 seconds; THE WINNER OF THE MATCH AND NEW HARDKORE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... KILROY EVANS!!!"

Phil Blauer: “The Brain” might not have gotten involved physically, but his distraction was enough to cost James Fierce his Hardkore World Heavyweight title. And you better believe the Hillbilly Assassin will have something to blog about that.

Guillermo O'Bannon: Kilroy took advantage of that distraction to deadly effect- dropping James Fierce off the top rope with the Bad Touch to secure his second reign as Hardkore World Heavyweight Champion.

[Andrew Karnage is quickly to the ring to help Kilroy stagger back to his feet and celebrate the title win with a blood smeared embrace.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: What a battle we witnessed here in Albuquerque for the biggest prize in our business. Both men made it a great contest.

[Several members of the locker room, including Bruno, Jack Eastwood, Snake Charmer and Ken Shiro step onto the stage to applaud the new champion, as confetti starts to drift from the rafters. Kilroy raises the belt above his head as Karnage raises his arm to another huge cheer from the crowd.]

Guillermo O'Bannon: That's all she wrote for Albuquerque, join us again soon at Hardkore World to see what happens in the wake of this match; but for tonight, well done Kilroy and indeed the defeated former champion James Fierce, and goodnight everybody!

[Fade.]

Kick ass show, Syberus.

One thing about Hardkore World, almost always worth the wait.