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Hardkore World Title Holders
Posted: Sep 22 2011, 08:03 PM
I want my hat back.
Member No.: 11
Joined: 31-May 04
That's right, this is THAT show. Anyone who was in the UWA, knows what I'm talking about. The infamous show where Tripps politicked his way into beating Jonnie. There's plenty to dissect, but it's still a pretty fun show otherwise. I had manages to hold onto a hard copy of the show and found it while moving last year. Since my plan to scan it didn't happen, I went with the next best idea: retyping the whole fucking show. As such, it's largely still exactly as it was posted...except where I couldn't take it and made some minor corrections to spelling grammar and format.
Originally posted: 4/14/02, shortly before midnight. So the shit hit the fan on 4/15.
[The lights go out and the pyros begin to shoot off around the Angeltron, the purples mixing with the startling golds. A collage of the past week's scenes are seen up on the Angeltron. With one final explosion the lights come up and the camera pans around the huge arena., the fans waving their signs and screaming at the top of their lungs.]
Ian Hawkins: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Retaliation. You've joined us here at the New Orleans Arena, in lovely Louisiana. Now, here to start off the night with a resounding clash, Godsmack, singing their new hit, and the theme of Retaliation, 'I Stand Alone'.
[The lights focus on Godsmack up in front of the Angeltron. Sully Erna, solitary mic in his hand, begins to sing and walk around the platform, pumping the crowd up. He hits rampway and begins to touch hands with the fans, the music beating behind him. The video is playing in the background as Sully charges down to the ring, his steps mimicking those on the screen behind him. Finally, he steps into the ring, into the center, and the last chords of the song are heard. With the last chord, an explosion of pyros go up behind Sully and he raises his arms. The crowd responds ferociously, screaming their enthusiasm, as Sully rejoins the band and they bow to the crowd, before turning and leaving the platform.]
Ian: That was Godsmack. What a way to start off the night. They will be with us one more time throughout the night, but let's get things started around here. We have a battle for the Tag Team titles. The champions, Baddazz Bryant Tanner and The Original Bombster, are not the favorites in this battle for blood.
Sandy: Do you have to make everything sound so...pompous?
Ian: It's part of the job.
Adrian Leigh: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a Fatal Four Way tag team match for the UWA tag team championship. Introducing first at a combined weight of 580 pounds The Hellhounds Cerberus and Psycho.
[I put a spell on you hits and the Hellhounds emerge from the entrance way.]
Sandy: Hey where is Jonnie?
Ian: Sorry Sandy Jonnie is barred from ring side. Angel wants things to stay fair.
Sandy: Ah what fun is that?
Leigh: Next at a combined weight of 459 pounds The Roadrunners Caffiene Boy and Break Down.
[Fuel hits the PA system and The Roadrunners walk out. The blistering sound of theri theme gets the crowd in a frenzy.]
Ian: I think they need to tone down the music a bit.
Ian: I said I think they should turn down the music a bit it's too loud.
Sandy: What Ian?
Ian: Their music it's too loud.
Sandy: Oh thanks you look good too Ian.
Leigh: And their opponents in their UWA ppv debut The Goodfellas The Baby Faced Assassin Vinnie Cavallini and The Natural Paul Cavallini!
[Where your Head At? hits and out come the Goodfellas.]
Ian: These kids are going to be stars here. They have a great attitude and great work ethic.
Sandy: Your telling me. I know first hand what they bring to the table.
Ian: As long as they stay away from you they'll be fine. But hey they're young they'll learn.
Leigh: And now introducing the UWA tag team champions The Original Bombster and Baddazz Bryant Tanner!
[Leave (Back Up) plays and the UWA tag team champions walk out on to the stage. Bombster continues down to the ring while Baddazz poses with his tag title.]
Ian: You know I never thought these two could work together and pull it off but they proved me wrong.
[All four teams are in their corners.]
Ian: Their was a coin toss earlier and Baddazz and Vinnie will be starting this match off.
[Baddazz holds out his hand. Vinnie looks to his partner who shrugs his shoulders.]
Ian: Wow what a show of sportsmanship. Baddazz is the only guy on Team ICW that has any respect.
[Vinnie shakes Baddazz's hand. They lock up but Baddazz quickly backs off. He holds out his hand again for another hand shake. This time Vinnie doesn't hesitate to shake but Baddazz kicks him in the stomach. Baddazz laughs and whips Vinnie to the ropes. Vinnie ducks a clothelsine bounces off the far ropes but Baddazz clotheslines him. Vinnie pops back up and Baddazz Irish whips him again this time Vinnie slides under Baddazz and drop kicks him in the back of the head. Vinnie suplexes Baddazz then follows that up with a swinging neck breaker. Vinnie tags in his brother Paul. Paul whips Baddazz to the ropes and back drops him. Paul sets Baddazz up on the second turnbuckle and hits a superplex on B.B.T.]
Ian: What a perfectly executed superplex. Paul goes for the pin, one, two Baddazz.
[Paul tags in his brother Vinnie. They whipe him to the ropes and double flap jack him.]
Ian: The Goodfellas are well in control here.
[Vinnie climbs up on the second turnbuckle in the Hellhounds corner. Cerberus slaps Vinnie on the back.]
Ian: Cerberus just tagged himself into the match.
[Cerberus tosses Vinne over the top ropes and to the floor. Baddazz crawls over to his corner and tags in The Original Bombster. Cerberus clotheslines Paul over the top rope. Bombster nails Cerberus from behind with a forearm. Cerberus reverses an Irish whip attempt by Bombster and short clotheslines him. Cerberus tags in Psycho. Psycho lifts Bombster up in a suplex. Cerberus goes up to the top ropes. Psycho holds Bombster up in a suplex and Cerberus jumps body pressing Bombster as Psycho brings him down.]
Ian: What a maneuver! Cerberus knocks Caffiene Boy off the ring apron with a right hand. Break Down runs in only to get a double underhook gordbuster for his efforts.
[Break Down rolls out of the ring. Psycho whips Bombster to the ropes. Psycho drops his head early and Bombster DDT's him. Bombster goes up to the top ropes and hits a flying elbow drop on Psycho. Bombster raises his arms and Break Down slaps his hand tagging himself in. Break Down gets in pushes Bombster out of the way and goes after Psycho. Break Down with elbow strikes to the head of Psycho sending him into a corner. Break Down whips Psycho into the opposite corner. Baddazz holds Psycho by the neck and Break Down comes running in with a huge splash. Baddazz pulls Break Down by the hair and makes him tag him in. Baddazz comes in and starts kicking Psycho in the ribs. Baddazz gives Psycho a brainbuster suplex. Baddazz picks up Psycho and hits a double underhook powerbomb.]
Ian: Baddazz goes for the cover one, two Cerberus comes in and breaks up the count.
[Baddazz tags in Vinnie Cavallinni. Baddazz holds Psycho and Vinnie kicks him in the ribs. Vinnie tags in his brother who goes up to the top turnbuckle. Vinnie gives Psycho three back breakers in a row.]
Ian: Vinnie still has SPycho over his knee it looks like we are going to see the Hit here.
[Paul jumps off the top landing a legdrop across Psycho who is placed over Vinnie's knee. The Goodfellas high five each other. Cerberus comes in and double Russian legsweeps the Cavallinis. Cerberus tosses Vinnie over the top ropes. Cerberus picks up Psycho and piledrives him onto Pauls head. One, two, three.]
Ian: The Goodfellas have been eliminated by the Hellhounds.
[Vinnie pulls his brother out of the ring.]
Sandy: They gave it a nice effort but the Hellhounds are too strong.
Ian: Three teams remain.
[Caffiene Boy gets in the ring and squares off with Psycho who is still the legal man. Caffiene gives him the Frapachino. He goes for the pin but Psycho kicks out after two. Caffiene Boy whips Psycho to the ropes and applies the Caffmission sleeper. Psycho backs Caffiene into the Roadrunners' corner. Break Down gets tagged in by Psycho. The ref makes Caffiene break the hold.]
Ian: What a smart move by Psycho. Wow I never thought I would say smart and Psycho in the same sentence. Well now the Roadrunners are in the ring with each other.
[Caffiene Boy walks over to Bombster to tag him in but Break Down stops him.]
Ian: What's this? I think Break Down wants a piece of his partner.
[Caffiene shakes his head and tries to tag in Bombster but Break Down won't let him. Break Down whispers in Caffiene's ear. They smile and look at Bombster and Badazz. Break Down tags in Badazz and Caffiene tags in Bombster. The Roadrunners jump out of the ring.]
Ian: The tag champs have been tagged in. The ref is telling them to get in the the ring.
[Bombster runs over to the Hellhounds but they jump down off the apron. Bombster turns around and gets a Daytripper from his tag partner Badazz. Badazz covers Bombster.]
Ian: What the hell?
Sandy: What is he doing?
[The ref gets down and counts to three.]
Sandy: Does that mean they are eliminated?
[Baddazz slides out of the ring and heads up the rampway. The ref rolls Bombster out of the ring.
Ian: I guess so. What a jerk Baddazz is. I take back everything nice I said about him earlier.
[Cerberus and Caffiene Boy get in the ring.]
Sandy: And then there were two. The winners here become the tag team champions.
[They lock up. Caffiene knees Cerberus in the gut then side head locks him. Cerberus whips Caffiene Boy to the ropes and side walk slams him. Cerberus applies a full nelson camel clutch on Caffiene Boy.]
Ian: It looks like Caffiene Boy is going to tap. He has no way to get to the ropes.
[Break Down comes in and drop kicks Cerberus in the face. Cerberus tags in Psycho. Psycho whips Caffiene to the ropes and gives him a tiltawhirl backbreaker. Break Down charges him only to get a press slam into a diamond cutter. Cerberus goes up to the top turnbuckle. Psycho grabs Caffiene by the legs and holds him up while Cerberus comes off the top with a leg drop. Psycho covers Caffiene Boy but Break Down breaks the count. Break Down gets out of the ring and pulls Cerberus out with him. The two of them are fighting on the outside.]
Ian: I still can't get over what Baddazz did. What was he thinking? He cost not only himself but also Bombster the tag team titles.
[Break Down whips Cerberus into the steel steps. Break Down takes Cerberus over to the announce table and slams his head into the table.]
Sandy: Hey they're getting a bit too close here.
[Caffiene Boy and Psycho are trading punches in the ring. Psycho whips Caffiene into the corner. He charges in but Caffiene puts his elbow up in Psycho's face. Caffiene hots the Mocha Bomb on Psycho. Caffiene goes up to the top turnbuckle. He jumps off but Psycho gets his knees up in the gut of Caffiene Boy. Break Down attempts a piledriver on Cerberus but her blocks then counters with a back body drop. Cerberus sets Break Down up for a powerbomb.]
Ian: Look out that powerbomb is heading straight for our table.
[Break Down counters with a hurricanrana on Cerberus. Break Down picks up a chair and nails Cerberus with it. Break Down goes to the top ropes and jumps off but Psycho punches him in the stomach. Psycho applies the cobra clutch on Break Down. Caffiene Boy nails Psycho in the back and Psycho releases the hold. Caffien whips Psycho to the ropes. Caffiene leap frogs Psycho and Break Down who was standing behind him a jump spinning DDT. Psycho gets to his feet and Caffeine Boy nails him with the Buzz. He covers Psycho. Cerberus tries to get in the ring but Break Down elbows him in the back of the head. One, two, three!]
Adrian Leigh: Ladies and gentlemen the winners and new UWA tag team champions The Roadrunners!
Sandy: The Hellhounds almost came out on top.
Ian: You should know with your experience. But the Road Runners have proven their worth tonight. Their first gold in this federation. Let's hope they can get along better than the two previous Tag Team Champions.
Sandy: Let's hope not, then the Hellhounds will come in and decimate them. They almost did tonight.
Ian: The Hellhounds are good at decimation. How is that new eggbeater coming along.
Sandy: Horrible. I look like lo mein down there.
Ian: Not the mental image I needed.
[The camera pans to the ICW dressing room where Mr. Gunn is pacing back and forth. He grabs a chair and throws it against the door, the other men in the room looking at him warily.]
Gunn: I can't believe he is late. Of all the people I told to be here on time, he is late.
Bundi: Boss, it is probably nothing. The taxi driver may be caught in traffic.
Gunn: You have called his cell phone? No answer.
[Bundi shakes his head in the negative.]
Gunn: That is my answer then. I told LTB to be here on time. I told him. Damn him to hell.
BBT: I know a few men who would love to take his place.
[Gunn looks at him questioningly.]
BBT: Bruno! Or Dkahuna!
Bundi: Hell no! It is bad enough I have to fight with you, you traitorous bastard, but I will not be caught dead in the same ring as those two!
BBT: Maybe you don't have a choise, punk. It is Mr. Gunn's team, let him decide.
Gunn: The War Games aren't until later this night. Let's give LTB some time. He was the original member, I would like to keep it like that. I have a plan for you guys.
[BBT, Hunglow, Bundi, Greg Daniels, and Y2K all lean forward, listening to Gunn's quieted words.]
Ian: That man is up to no good. I guarantee it. He jumped Team UWA this past Thursday, and his is not above doing it again.
Sandy: But we have some smart men on our team. They'll know better than to fall for Gunn's manipulations.
Ian: Let's hopr your right for once.
[Soutter is laid up on a couch in Angel's office. She has the entire Team UWA surrounding her, including Tripps. She looks at what the doctor is writing down and then frowns down at Soutter who glares right back at her.]
Doctor: It is my prognosis that he should not be wrestling tonight, or for the next month actually. This man has suffered bruising to his ribs. Just one wrong punch or fall, and that rib could break. If it breaks, he will be in an extreme amount of pain.
Soutter: I don't care. Giver her the damn paper so she can sign it.
Angel: Soutter, I'm not sure about this.
Soutter: Sign the damn paper.
[Angel frowns down at him and then looks over at Stan. He shrugs helplessly and then she grabs the release paper from the doctor and signs her name quickly. She hands the paper down to Soutter and he affixes his signature. They hand the paper back to the doctor who shrugs fatalistically and leaves the room.]
Angel: Fine, now that everyone is here...
Stan: I don't think Tripps should be in the room when we have this meeting.
Tripps: Screw you, flunky. This is my career here too. If you people lose tonight, my entire future is in Gunn's hands.
Stan: If that were the only stipulation I would gladly...
Angel: BOYS! I swear. Behave! Listen, I don't like the smirk I have been seeing on Gunn's face lately. He has something planned, so watch your backs. Chupacabra, you're fine. You have the entire Society at your back and no one, not even Gunn, is stupid enough to try that. Soutter, I want Rick with you the entire night. You two stick together like glue. Tripps, you stick with HBKing. You're both Firm. Stan will be with me. Gunn wouldn't dare try something with me around. So, stick to this, and everything will be fine. They're team cannot compare. Got it?
[There are rumblings heard around the room, the men don't seem too happy with the plan, but they all agree, except for Soutter.]
Soutter: I don't need a babysitter all night. I can take care of myself, thank you.
Angel: *glaring down at him* Listen to me. I don't care if you have to glue Rick to your ass, you're sticking together tonight. Got me? This is not just your match at stack, this is not just your future, this is my federation. Everything I have bleed and scraped for, is on the line tonight. I would never have risked it unless I had enough faith in my team. I want you to prove that faith tonight and do what I say.
Soutter: *mutters* Fine.
Angel: What did you say?
Soutter: *louder* Fine!
Angel: Good, now, everyone please leave except Stan. I have some business to conduct.
Ian: It looks like Angel is laying down the law tonight. No one is getting away with anything.
Sandy: That curfew last night was bogus. I was out until three in the morning and I saw Phantom and Kilroy and...
Ian: Can't you ever keep your mouth shut. What Angel doesn't know, won't hurt anyone else. Now, we have two men coming back after long absences. MLP made his debut back last Thursday, but he wasn't too impressed with his work, so he asked Angel for another match.
Sandy: Isn't Pain that asshole who betrayed his brother and stole his wife?
Ian: That's the one.
Sandy: Sounds like my kind of man!
Adrian Leigh: Ladies and gentlemen this next match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first weighting in at 296 pounds Pain!
[Fight music hits and out comes Pain slowly walking down to the ring.]
Ian: That would be your dream man right there, Sandy.
Sandy: I don't think he could take me. He reminds me of you, just a mockery of a man.
Ian: Coming from you and your experience I consider that compliment.
Leigh: And his opponent weighing in at 175 pounds MLP!
[#1 by Nelly hits and MLP runs down the ramp and slides into the ring.]
[MLP ducks a clothesline by Pain and drop kicks him in the knee. Pain doesn't go down. MLP bounces off the ropes and drop kicks Pain in the knee again and the big man goes down. MLP with some elbow strikes to the head of Pain sending him into the corner. MLP climbs up and begins to pound on Pain. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7 punches. Pain grabs MLP and slams him down. Pain whips MLP to the ropes, MLP ducks under a clothesline attempt, bounces off the ropes and jumps right into Pain's arms. Pain slams MLP down hard. Pain jumps up for an elbow drop but MLP rolls out of the way. MLP quickly climbs up to the top ropes and connects with a flying body press. MLP gets up and climbs up to the top again. He waits for Pain to get up and then missle drop kicks him down. MLP runs off the ropes and gives Pain a hurricarana. MLP goes for the cover, 1...Pain kicks out. Pain reverses an Irish whip attempt by MLP and powerslams him. Pain picks up MLP and sets him up for a powerbomb. MLP reverses the powerbomb into another hurricarana he hooks Pain's legs 1...2...]
Ian: Pain kicks out. He looks like he is not going to let this one go easily. He is determined to make a startling come back to the federation.
Sandy: I should give him a welcome home present.
[Pain clotheslines MLP almost taking his head off. Pain whips MLP to the ropes and delivers a spinebuster. Pain picks up MLP and gives him a powerbomb. Pain goes for the cover, 1...2...Pain picks up MLP stopping the count himself. Pain picks up MLP and sets him up for another powerbomb. MLP reverses and sets him up for his finisher the stinger. Pain blocks with a knee to the kidney of MLP. Here comes Casey "The Cooler" Brown. The Cooler runs into the ring and spears MLP. The ref calls for the bell.]
Adrian Leigh: The winner of this match by disqualification, MLP!
[Pain leaves the ring and grabs a chair. He brings it into the ring. Cool holds MLP and Pain smashes the chair over MLP's head. Pain picks up MLP and gives him his finisher the Haze. The Cooler grabs the chair and starts nailing MLP with it over and over and over again in the back. Pain picks up MLP and again gives him the Haze. MLP is a bloody mess. He isn't moving at all. Cooler picks up MLP and gives him a powerbomb onto the chair. Pain tells Cooler to pick him up again. The Cooler does so and Pain smashes the chair over MLP's head again. Pain and Cooler raise their arms in victory and leave the ring.]
Ian: Now that was uncalled for. In a time when all the UWA stars should be banding together, crap like this happens.
Sandy: Boys will always be boys.
[The Society locker room is shown as Jonnie Valentine, Jasmine Macabre, Chupacabra, Godzilla and The Hellhounds are all sitting around. The Hellhounds are throwing a ball against Repoter's head, grunting as it bounces off back to them.]
Jamine: I can't believe Cabra has been put under house arrest, or something close to it.
Cabra: Not that bad. Angel just wants to make sure that we don't get jumped, which is very likely due to the lack of balls that Team ICW has. They can't beat us in the ring so they try to get the upperhand outside of it.
Valentine: Reminds me of Tripps. The man uses every trick in the book, including fucking the boss, to get his own way. It won't work later tonight though. That man is going to be lying in a pile of wood, broken and destroyed.
Cabra: What is going to happen after this little war Angel is having is over. I mean, as World Champion, you will have a great deal of pull around here.
Valentine: Things will change around here, real fast. Things will look very different under Society rule!
Ian: Why don't I like the sound of that? Valentine sounds too confident.
Sandy: Jonnie is always confident. It's what makes him...Jonnie.
Ian: I would say cocky is more like it.
Sandy: Wouldn't I like to know...
Adrian Leigh: Ladies and Gentleman, the following is a three way match for the UWA Hardcore Title. Introducing first, coming in at 5'11" & 255 lbs, representing the Society of the New Breed, The UWA Hardcore Champion, KILROY EVANS!
[AwwNaww/Nappy Roots hits and Kilroy makes his way down to the ring.]
Adrian: And his opponent, coming in at 5'10" & 225lbs, THE IRON BEAR.
[Tear Away/Drowning Pool hits and Iron Bear comes out and stands on the apron staring at Kilroy with pure hatred in his eyes, he nods his head slowly and starts to make his way down the ramp, "wham", Dread from behind takes out the Bear with his lead pipe.]
Ian: Look at this monster Dread, he won't even wait for his entrance. It is actions like that, that got him suspended in the first place.
Sandy: But he is in this match, isn't he Ian?
Ian: Of course he is.
[Dread looks down on the fallen Iron Bear as his music starts to pump through the arena and he clogs Bear one more time with the pipe and starts making his way down towards Kilroy. Ding, Ding. The match begins as Dread makes his way into the ring with the pipe ready to take Kilroy out. Kilroy backs up and moves into the second ring.]
Sandy: Why have we got two rings here anyway.
Ian: For the big War Games match later tonight.
[Dread stalks over to the second ring and "wham", Kilroy takes him out as he is moving through the ropes with an axe kick. Kilroy then picks up Dread and gives him a t-bone suplex straight over the ropes and back into the first ring.
Kilroy then jumps up to the top rope and walks over the ropes to the first ring, then launches with a splash from the top rope. Kilroy covers Dread. 1...2...Bear breaks the count with a lamp he grabbed from under the ring.
Bear then picks up Dread and slams him on top of Kilroy. Then he goes back outside to get some more plunder, leaving Dread and Kilroy to battle it out. Bear starts throwing in all sorts of plunder from under the ring, including an old VCR, a stereo speaker, a broom, a bamboo basket and of course a chair and a rubbish bin. Dread and Kilroy are duking it out, exchanging lefts and rights, when Bear gets back in the ring and takes out Kilroy by ramming the VCR right into his head, smashing it to pieces in the process.]
Ian: Those VCR's don't last long, one shot and they are gone.
Sandy: Lucky they didn't have my old one in there. It weighs a ton and would probably have finished the night right there for Kilroy. The only reason I still have it is because it is too heavy for the crims every time they rob my house.
[Bear then picks up the rubbish bin and "wham" rams it straight into Dread's head, but Dread doesn't budge and just stands there smiling at Bear with a bit of blood trickling from his forehead. Dread then levels Bear with the power of the punch!]
Ian: Whoa, a whopping big right hand from Dread.
[Dread then goes outside and sets up a table, and then slides in the ring, picks up Bear and jackknife powerbombs him over the top rope and through the table.Bear is lying there motionless and Dread looks down at him. "Wham" Kilroy takes Dread out with the stereo speaker. He picks up Dread and and hits a piledriver onto the ruined VCR. Kilroy then picks up the chair and, as Dread gets to his feet, Kilroy levels him with an almighty chair shot, sending Dread flying over the top rope and coming down on top of Bear. Kilroy runs off the spron and drops an elbow on top of both men. Kilroy goes for the cover on both men 1...2...they manage to push him off. Dread gets to his feet and Kilroy nails him with a right hand, then Bear comes from the side and rams Kilroy into the safety rail, busting him open. Dread and Bear then lock eyes and smile, they pick up Kilroy together and Double Suplex him into the concrete floor.]
Ian: It looks like Bear and Dread are teaming up to take Kilroy out of the picture.
Sandy: No shit.
[Dread and Bear have Kilroy at the top of the ramp and are running him up to push him off the edge, but Kilroy blocks it, and Dread and Bear stop right at the edge of the rampway. They turn around and both charge at Kilroy, who ducks and then as they stop themselves from going off the other edge, Kilroy kicks Bear in the stomach and rams Dread into the wall of the entrance way.
Kilroy and Bear then fight past Dread down the backstage hallway. They come out at a car park and Dread charges them and sends both men head first into a parked car. Dread grabs Bear and slams him onto the bonnet, and then picks him up and whips him into the steel rolling door. Dread covers Kilroy 1...2...Kilroy gets a shoulder up. Kilroy and Dread then battle through the front door and out into the street. Bear runs outside to catch up with the other two and rams their heads together in a double noggin knocker. Bear then picks up Dread and goes to whip him into the shop window next door, but Dread puts on the brakes and reverses Bear sending him crashing into the cameraman.]
Ian: It looks like we have lost the reception folks, let's hop we can catch up with these guys later.
[Larger Than Booker comes out of the taxi, cockily throwing his gym bag back over his shoulder and sauntering into the arena.He opens the door, walks inside, smiles at a stagehand hurrying by, and then turns a corner. Right as he turns, he is grabbed from behind and thrown into the technical equipment lying nearby. LTB staggers around and then turns to face Soutter, who takes a crutch and smashes it over his head. LTB falls back into the equipment and then is grabbed by Soutter.]
Soutter: You think you can just jump a member of Team UWA and get away with it? Especially when that man is me?
[Soutter picks LTB up and breaks him over a lighting booth that is lying nearby. A sharp crack is heard and LTB crumbles to the ground. Soutter picks him up and smashes his head into the concrete ground for good measure. Soutter then looks the bloody LTB up and down and tosses him away. He stumbles to his feet and looks around for Rick Owen. Rick is standing on the side, hands on his hips, and shaking his head.]
Soutter: Don't look at me like that! He deserved it! They all do.
Rick: So, you are going to do exactly what Angel didn't want them doing to us?
Soutter: No, I got my payback. I'll get the rest in the ring.
Rick: Come on, we need to get back to the locker room. Do some warm-ups!
Soutter: Screw that. I'm hungry. Oh, and you go on. I don't need a babysitter.
Rick: But Angel...
Soutter: One thing you'll learn around here, Rick. Don't pander to the boss. She's not to be trusted. Learned that a long time ago. Do your own thing around here and you'll be fine.
[Soutter charges off down the hallway, leaving Rick shrugging his shoulders and heading for the general locker room.]
Ian: It looks like Team ICW might be out a member. Why am I happy about that?
Sandy: Don't count on it. Mr. Gunn can just pull Bruno, Big Sexy, Dkahuna, hell, even Y2K into this match whenever he wants. These are not set teams. They are allowed to change hands.
Ian: Why did Soutter have to jump LTB? He was an easy target. Take someone like Bundi out, or Hunglow, not LTB. Now this match is gonna be harder to win. LTB was the weak link we could exploit.
Adrian Leigh: The following match is one fall. The Referee is Angus Horowitz.
[241 by Reel Big Fish hits the arena and Y2K makes his way down to the ring to a large reception of boos. He steps on the apron and hops over the top rope and begins stretching.]
Adrian Leigh: Introducing first, representing the ICW faction...Y2K!
[Superbeast by Rob Zombie blares through the arena and there's a heavy mixture of boos and cheers. Zilla walks through the curtain and slowly stalks toward the ring. He reaches the apron and begins to go up the steps into the ring.]
Adrian Leigh: And his opponent, representing the Society Of The New Breed, standing at six foot eight and weighing in at over four hundred pounds...GOOOOOOODZIIIIIIILLLA!
[Angus signals for the bell and Zilland Y2K lock up. Zilla sends Y2K halfway across the ring and onto his back.]
Ian: What a display of strength by Zilla.
Sandy: The two lock up again...can you venture to guess what happens now Ian? Your good at playing Captain Obvious.
[Again Zilla sends Y2K soaring across the ring. Y2K gets to his feet and shakes his head, and then moves to lock up with Zilla again.]
Ian: This is probably not the best strategy in the world.
Sandy: True, but YY2K isn't really noted for his thinking is he?
Ian: What is Y2K noted for again?
Sandy: Ummm...he's unrelentless?
Ian: Oh yeah, right.
[As the two lock up again, Y2K lands a knee to Zilla's gut and follows it up with a side headlock. Zilla sends Y2K to the ropes and Y2K is floored with a shoulder block.]
Ian: Y2K slides to the outside. Probably the smartest move he's made all night.
Sandy: Well, everything is up after signing with the ICW.
Ian: What was he thinking?
Sandy: Him? What was Angel thinking when she put the UWA on the line without putting Cobryn on Team UWA?
Ian: For once, I agree with you. God, that's a disgusting feeling...I never imagined how it would feel to agree with you before.
Sandy: Oh you mean to be right for a change.
[Godzilla slides to the outside and catches up with a fleeing Y2K, but Y2K turns and rakes Zilla's eyes stunning him for a moment. Y2K follows it up with a few hard rights and slides in the ring to break Angus' count.]
Ian: Y2K bounces himself off the ropes and baseball slides into Zilla, sending Zilla hard into the guard rail.
Sandy: Ouch. Look at the damage.
Ian: I know, that railing will never be the same again...Zilla is pushing 400 pounds.
[Y2K grabs Zilla and tosses him into the ring, getting to the top rope.]
Ian: Y2K leaps off the top rope as Zilla staggers to his feet...
Sandy: But Zilla catches the smaller Y2K in mid flight and choke slams him into the mat.
Sandy: Zilla goes for the pin!
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...
[Y2K rolls a shoulder.]
Ian: God that was close.
Sandy: Zilla grabs Y2K and latches on a bear hug now, and he's squeezing the life out of Y2K.
Ian: Angus is checking the arm...but Y2K stops it from falling.
Sandy: Zilla keeps the pressure on.
[Zilla contunes to squeeze the life out of Y2K...readjusting his grip every once in a while to keep applying maximum pressure. Angus checks the arm again...]
Ian: Once it falls...
Sandy: Twice it falls!
Ian: Thr...no Y2K keeps it up.
Sandy: God it takes a lot of effort for Godzilla to evn keep the hold applied...he's really in top shape despite the 400 pounds.
Ian: Well, compared to that monkey Y2K has been fighting lately I guess your right.
Sandy: I'm telling Kilmer you said that!
[Sweat beads trickle down Zilla's head as he strains to keep the hold on, and keep Y2K up in the air. Y2K screams in agony every time Zilla readjusts the hold.]
Sandy: Y2K's back is NOT supposed to contort like that.
Ian: Boy he's had this on for a while now...
Ian: How about that 5 on 5 match tonight?
Sandy: Oh yeah, UWA is going to squeeze the life out of ICW.
Ian: Nice association.
Sandy: I've got to try.
[Y2K is shrieking like a little girl as Zilla begins to tire...and sets Y2K's feet on the ground again. The crowd begins to chant "boring...boring..."]
Ian: God these fans are spoiled. They expect every move to be a 5 star frog splash.
Sandy: Y2K is about to give...I can feel it.
Ian: With all the men you've been with, I'm surprised you can feel anything.
[Again Angus checks Y2K's arm and it drops once...it drops twice...it...]
Ian: What's this? It's Greg Daniels? Coming out to help the man he just pounded ot the ground with a chair?
Sandy: And he's got that chair again!
[Daniels makes his way on the apron with a chair in his hand but is quickly confronted by Angus who beings arguing with him.]
Ian: Good, good to see a referee that keeps his eyes open.
Sandy: Wait...who's that emerging from the audience? It's Break Down and Caffeine Boy?
Ian: What the hell are they doing here?
Sandy: So much for that referee that keeps his eyes open, huh?
[Break Down and Caffeine Boy make their way into the ring on the opposite side of where Daniels and Angus are arguing. Daniels begins pleading with Angus to turn around.]
Ian: Looks like the screw job is working against the ICW this time.
[The two of them go to the top rope as Zilla keeps the bear hug applied and launch down from each corner toward Y2K with double axe handles.]
Ian: What!? Y2K manages to push off with his legs at the last moment...
Sandy: And Zilla is knocked flat by the two of them!
Ian: Daniels grins and hops from the apron.
Sandy: This is bullsh---
Ian: Easy Sandy...we have sponsors, you gutter whore, you. Y2K drapes an arm over Zilla.
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...
Ian: Zilla kicks out! Zilla kicks out!
Sandy: Of course he did, he's Society you idiot.
[Daniels turns around and is outraged. Break Down and Caffeine Boy make their way around the ring and confront Daniels, who nails Break Down once with the chair and Caffeine Boy manages a super kick to Daniels, flooring him.]
Ian: All hell is breaking loose.
Sandy: Y2K gets Zilla off of the mat and sends him to the ropes...
Ian: And staggers him with a standing drop kick...but Zilla is still on his feet!
Sandy: Y2K follows it up with a clothesline...and another...
Ian: Zilla is STILL standing. What a monster.
[Break Down and Daniels, who are now trading punches on the outside...begin to almost spill into the ring. Angus runs over to confront the two of them while Caffeine Boy is on the other side of the ring trying to shake off the chair shot effects.]
Ian: Y2K charges Zilla again for a clothesline...
Sandy: But Zilla ducks and back body drops him outside of the ring right onto Caffeine Boy!
Ian: Caffeine Boy shakes his head and gets up first landing the Buzz on Y2K on the outside!
Sandy: And Angus has seen nothing!
Ian: Caffeine Boy slides Y2K into the ring and Zilla grins and covers him.
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...
Ian: Amazing! Y2K has heart after all!
Sandy: I can't believe he just kicked out of that!
Ian: Neither can Caffeine Boy!
Sandy: Zilla lifts Y2K from the mat by his hair and lands a Death Of Mothra.
Ian: That's it...this is over!
Sandy: Zilla goes for the cover...
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...
Ian: Y2K just won't stay down.
Sandy: Zilla looks at Angus and shakes his head in disgust...clapping his hands three times and jawing at him.
Ian: Well...that was a slow count. This guy is a terrible referee.
Sandy: I though you liked him.
Ian: I never said that.
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...
Ian: Zilla is going for the Tokyo and Y2K is planted in the middle of the ring!
Sandy: But Caffeine Boy drop kicks Daniels into the ring post...
Ian: And Zilla loses his balance and stumbles off of the top rope.
Sandy: Ouch. Hope they reinforced the ring earlier tonight.
[Y2K manages to get to his feet and goes to the top rope...]
Ian: Y2K lands hi own version of the Tokyo.
Sandy: This is just wrong.
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...
Ian: Zilla kicks out!
Sandy: Maybe he should change his name to the Energizer Bunny...he just keeps going and going and going...
Ian: You've had personal experience?
Sandy: A lady never tells such things.
Ian: That's why I asked you.
[Y2K goes back to the top rope, but Break Down shakes the ropes and Y2K crotches the top turnbuckle. Angus runs over and begins yelling at Break Down to leave the ringside area. Meanwhile Daniels, who's now outslugged Caffeine Boy, makes his way onto the apron with the chair and approaches Zilla.]
Ian: Daniels is going to plant Zilla with the chair!
Sandy: But Caffeine Boy crawls into the ring and drop kicks it out of his hand and into Zilla's!
Ian: The referee is still arguing with Break Down!
Sandy: Zilla turns around with the chair in his hand toward Y2K...
Ian: But Y2K has managed to get back onto the top rope and drop kicks the chair right up into Zilla's face!
Sandy: Holy shi---
Ian: Sponsors! Sponsors!
Sandy: Y2K goes for the pin!
Angus Horowitz: 1...2...3!
Ian: That's it! Y2K has done it!
Sandy: Amazing. Y2K pulled it off. I can't believe it.
[Angel and Stan are curled up together on her couch, snuggling, laughing, and playing before a knock comes to the door. Angel gets up, straightens out her dress, and then goes to the door. A stagehand hands her a letter and she opens the envelope. She quickly scans the information and then crumples it up. Stan gets to his feet and comes over to her, putting his massive arms around her.]
Angel: Stan, babe, I need your help. Soutter has done something stupid. He attacked LTB and put him out of commission.
Stan: How was that stupid? That just means we are only striking first. That's a good thing.
Angel: No, it's not. Now Gunn will put Bruno or Dkahuna in the match, they are way better than LTB. I need you to go find Soutter and keep him under control. I know he is pissed about the attack last Thursday, but make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.
Stan: I thought Rick was with him?
Angel: Obviously not anymore. Now go!
[Stan shrugs and leaves the room. Angel uncrumples the letter and puts it on her desk before sitting in the chair, leaning back, and sighing. The camera pans close to the latter and Tripps' name is seen on the bottom.]
Sandy: What is she up to?
Ian: Nothing. She is just going to have a...business chat with the champion.
Sandy: Yeah, right. At least I am honest about what I am. That woman spreads her legs for power, and that is all there is to it.
Ian: How can you talk about the boss like that? You better watch your mouth...
Sandy: Oh shut up, Ian. I am tired of being bullied by you. I'll say whatever I goddamned want to say!
[Rick Owen is searching backstage for Soutter, wandering around, calling his name. Rick is walking straight past an open door when Bundi and Hunglow suddenly come charging out of the room at him. Bundi has a bat in his hand and he swings at Rick, but Rick ducks and turns with a superkick to the face. Bundi goes down, but he is back on his feet as Rick turns to Hunglow who grabs him and bodily throws him against the wall. Bundi and Hunglow start pounding their fists into his stomach. Rick doubles over and Bundi rams his knee into Rick's head. Rick falls to the ground and Bundi picks the bat up, wailing away on Rick's back. There is a shout from down the hall and Soutter comes running down the hallway. Bundi turns and nails Soutter right in the stomach with the bat. Soutter crumples to the ground as Hunglow grabs Rick and begins to ram his head into the concrete wall. Blood is now pouring down Rick's head as Hunglow continues to ram his head into the wall. Hunglwo grabs the bat from Bundi as Bundi picks Rick up to hold him.]
Hunglow: You take out a member of Team ICW, we take out a member of Team UWA. Bye-bye, Rick!
[Hunglow swings the bat and nails it brutally up against the side of Rick's head. Rick immediately crumples in Bundi's arms, who drops him, and Rick hits the ground like a sack. The two men leave laughing as Soutter rolls over and tries to shake his teammate awake.]
Ian: Team ICW has just taken Rick Owen out of commission. He is unconscious. There is no way he can fight. What in the hell are we going to do?
Sandy: It looks like your precious boss is up shit creek without a paddle.
Ian: Shut up, wench. This is your job on the line too.
Sandy: I can always get Mr. Gunn to give me a position. I have given him plenty.
Ian: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just received word that we have caught up with Kilroy, Dread, and The Iron Bear and they are battling it out in the middle of the French Quarter.
[All three men are trading punches with each other and Kilroy is getting the upper hand. He whips Dread into a group of jazz buskers sending them all crashing to the floor. Bear quickly covers Dread 1...2...Kilroy breaks the count by smashing a saxaphone over Bear' head. Kilroy then slams the bent saxaphone into Dread's head and then rams Dread through the window of The Bourban Parade Hotel. Kilroy starts dragging Dread up the stairs and Bear starts running up the stairs to catch them. Bear is almost up with them, and Dread whips Kilroy into him, sending both men tumbling down the stairs. Dread then goes up the rest of the stairs and the guy at the front door asks him for the entrance fee.]
Ian: Hey, that's Leon.
Sandy: How would you know?
[Dread levels Leon with the power of the punch and turns around. He looks around the club and sees men dancing with each other and touching each other. He shakes his head, mumbling something about New Orleans freaks, and runs down the stairs, taking out both Bear and Kilroy with big clotheslines.]
Sandy: Hey Ian, no wonder you knew the name of Leon the door bitch. It was a damn gay club. Ha ha!
Ian: Ahhh, ummm, err...
[The three men then continue to fight down the street comeing to the Bastille Computer Cafe. Bear and Dread whip Kilroy into the cafe and then Dread slams Bear into the front desk. Kilroy runs up and jumps Dread with a Piggyback, sending both men straight through an empty computer. Kilroy slams the monitor over Dread's head, and raises his arms in the air. "Wham," Bear has a printer and crashes it over Kilroy's head. Again, the crowd goes wild.
Bear turns and sees a teenager with a UWA 4 Life T-shirt on, and he is reading the latest UWA promos on his computer. The starts screaming wildly at Bear about how much he loves him and the UWA. Bear shakes his head and rams the fan's head into the monitor. Bear then covers Kilroy 1...2...Dread breaks the count.
The three men then battle it out further down the French Quarter, fighting through Woldenberg Park and then onto the Mississippi River Pier. There is a big boat at the end of the pier, with a big banner saying Dinner Jazz Cruise on it. Most of the customers are on the boat and it is about to take off. All three men are battling on the pier and Dread and Kilroy both grab hold of The Iron Bear, sending him flying through the air and onto the boat, which is taking off.]
Ian: It looks like Bear is out of this one. I don't think that boat will be turning around.
[Kilroy and Dread both stand there watching Bear standing on the boat and screaming that this isn't over and he will come back for them. Kilroy and Dread then start grappling with each other and back up into the cameraman, sending him and each other into the Mississippi River. The last thing we see is both Kilroy and Dread falling straight at the camera in the water, and then it goes black............]
Angela: "Or close to it. Remember Palm Springs Punishment for what could have been for you Bruno and Karnage. We're out of here."
The Shootfighter: "They go into a store as the scene slowly fades to black."
Posted: Sep 22 2011, 08:03 PM
I want my hat back.
Member No.: 11
Joined: 31-May 04
Ian: Hell no! It looks like we have lost another cameraman, and Bear as well. Hopefully, we will be able to catch up with these guys again soon.
[Stan walks into Angel's office with a beaten Soutter. He tosses Soutter down on the couch and turns to Angel.]
Stan: Rick is out. He is on his way to the hospital right now. He is still unconscious.
Angel: What the hell do you mean? I thought I told you to watch over these two.
Angel: Soutter, who else can take Rick's place?
Soutter: Everyone is booked, Angel. They would be fighting two matches. They would be too tired, too winded.
[Angel beings to pace around the room and then throws the papers off the desk. She turns to Stan and Soutter and glares at them so hard Stan actually takes a step back.]
Angel: I don't care who you get, I don't care what you have to do, but MAKE SURE I WIN! Do you understand me?
Soutter: Anything, Angel?
Angel: ANYTHING! And to make sure this shit doesn't happen again, the minute you tell me we have a fifth member, we are having the War Games. I don't care if it is in the middle of someone's match. We are having that match the minute I have my team together.
[Soutter struggles to his feet and turns to look at Angel.]
Soutter: Give me a few minutes. I think I have someone in mind.
[Soutter struggles out of the room, clutching his stomach as Stan turns to Angel.]
Stan: Is there anything I can do, luv?
Angel: Leave me alone, just...leave me alone.
[Stan shrugs helplessly and then leaves the room.]
Ian: It sounds like Angel has turned desperate. I don't like how this sounds for the team. Rick was a technical genius. Anyone else we get will be...tired, or at the least, not the best.
Sandy: Why do I have the feeling Soutter is up to something? He seemed too calm about all of that.
Ian: I think you are imagining things, like your chances with the current Internet Champion.
Adrian Leigh: The next match is for the UWa Internet Championship, it is a Triple Threat match.
["Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed pumps out over the PA system, and DSF makes his way to the ring, wearing his modified Cobryn is NOT good ENOUGH shirt. He ignores the fans' attempts to slap hands with him, and he slides into the ring, slumping over in the corner while letting his hair hang in his face.]
Adrian Leigh: In the ring, weighing in at...um, standing at...er, THIS IS D...S...F!!!!!
Sandy: Doesn't this guy want us to know how big he is? Roid head.
Ian: Apparently his bio was used by somebody as a blanket the tape room.
Sandy: It is cold in there.
["Superstar" by Saliva switches in, and the reverse Crow face-painted Phantom makes his way to the ring. He marches slowly and deliberately. Phantom climbs the steps and climbs the ropes, raises his arms above his head, and then jumps into the ring. The crowd gives him a mixed reaction, most people cheering, but some are just kicking back and taking in the laser show for Phantom's new entrance.]
Sandy: The way Phantom looks now is freaky.
Adrian Leigh: Also in the ring...*looks around for the list*...THE PHANTOM!!!!!
Ian: Was it THAT cold?
Sandy: I made s'mores. Who would have thought he was that important?
Ian: Nothing beats a good s'more.
Sandy: Back in the day my nickname was Sandy S'more.
Ian: I don't want to know.
Sandy: When I was a Brownie.
Ian: You, a Brownie?
Adrian Leigh: Making his way to the ring, weighing in at 235 pounds, standing at 6'4", he is the UWa Internet Champion, it's COBRYN!!!!!
[Darkness engulfs the ringside area as clicking sounds of light switches being thrown is heard. The corwd begins to murmur as "No Quarter" by Led Zeppelin begins to echo through the acoustics of the arena, and intelligent lights of every color scan the walls and audience. Suddenly, red pyros explode through the arena and Cobryn steps out onto the ramp with a familiar smirk on his face. His black silk robe slithers along the floor a good four feet behind him as he swaggers slowly forward. Cobryn eventually steps onto the apron and wipes his feet, before sliding through the top and middle ropes and extending his arms outward to the crowd.]
Sandy: Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Ian: Doesn't he have some sort of restraining order on you?
Sandy: Yeah. Hey, I have a question. Is Cerberus & Psycho At Law a real law firm?
Ian: Not to my knowledge, but would you want to cross them?
[As Cobryn is making his deliberate ring entrance, a straw haired, slack jawed youth in a grey t-shirt reading WHAT WRONG? comes jolting from the backstage area. He runs up to Cobryn and starts pointing frantically. Cobryn tells him to go in the back, but Announser Repoter seems insistent to be out there. Cobryn shakes his head and takes off his robe. DSF comes flying through the ropes with a suicide dive, knocking Cobryn, and Announser, to the floor. Ben Hernandez takes his eyes off the women heading to the back and signals for the bell.]
DING DING DING
Ian: This Internet Championship is underway.
Sandy: I know, I just wanted to say underwear.
[Phontom slides out to join DSF, who is kicking away on Cobryn. Phantom looks like he is going to kick Cobryn, but then spinning backhands DSF in the jaw. DSF looks a little shocked, but then he takes a swing at Phantom. Cobryn gets up and rolls into the ring and yells at the ref to start counting them out.]
[Phantom kicks DSF in the stomach and rolls him into the ring. DSF gets to his feet quickly only to be salto suplexed by Cobryn. Phantom catches Cobryn with a running bulldog and goes for a quick cover.]
Hernandez: 1...2...*kickout by Cobryn*
Ian: Phantom with his new attitude looking to put this one away quick.
Sandy: Not going to happen that face painted freak isn't getting any gold tonight.
[Phantom kicks Cobryn in the breadbasket, hits a quick DDT, and goes for another cover but DSF comes and drops a flying elbow to break the count. DSF peppers Phantom with a few right hands and whips him off the rope and drops his head. Phantom kicks DSF in the face and Cobryn hits him with a reverse DDT.]
Sandy: DSF is getting laid to waste.
Ian: Things not looking good for Big Stan's little buddy.
[DSF rolls out of the ring, and Announser Repoter yells at him WHAT WRONG? Phantom catches Cobryn with a huge lariat that nearly takes off Cobryn's head. Phantom springs off the ropes and drops a super high legdrop down onto Coby's throat. He goes for the cover again.]
Hernandez: 1...2...*kickout by Cobryn*
[DSF climbs onto the top rope and nails a high cross body on Phantom, but the momentum rolls him off of Phantom. Cobryn gets up and armdrags Phantom over into an armbar. He cranks back on Phantom's elbow. DSF comes over and dropkicks Cobryn in the back of the head, breaking the hold.]
Ian: Some great action so far from these three competitors.
Sandy: What is that weirdo doing?
[Announser has now gotten into an argument with a fan in the front row. The man is seemingly telling Repoter not to stand in front of him, but Repoter starts to do the Beavis & Butthead pelvic dance toward the man, and the man has gone livid. The security people have to restrain the man from jumping the guardrails and he is drug from the arena.]
Ian: Another satisfied customer.
[DSF has gone on a serious offensive, pounding forearm after forearm to the base of Cobryn's skull. He seems to be screaming something unintelligible at him.]
Sandy: Reminds me of A Christmas Story
Sandy: Ralph going ape-shit on that bully.
Ian: Oh yeah, the kid with the yellow eyes.
[Phantom backs off a little bit and when DSF is pulled off Cobryn by Ben Hernandez he spears the smaller man down. Phantom then scoops him up on his shoulder.]
Ian: Phantom looking to finish this one off.
[Cobryn grabs Phantom's ankle and DSF slides off his back and spins, hitting a swinging neckbreaker on Phantom. He drops for a cover.]
Hernandez: 1...2...*break by Cobryn*
[Cobryn whips DSF off the ropes and catches him with a spinning sidewalk slam and goes for the cover.]
Hernandez: 1...2...*break by Phantom*
[Phantom whips Cobryn into the turnbuckle and follows him in with a Phantom Splash in the corner. As Cobryn is staggering out of the corner, Phantom overhead belly to belly suplexes him.]
Ian: Phantom is really dominating this match-up.
Sandy: No, I don't think so.
Ian: Are you blind?
Sandy: I choose to see what I want to see.
[Phantom is now exchanging rights with DSF and gaining a slight advantage, but DSF suddenly drops down with a drop toe hold that drives Phantom's throat across the middle rope. Cobryn grabs DSF in an inverted facelock, picks him up, and twists him around, dropping him down out of an invertwed suplex into a DDT.]
Ian: That was a version of The Answer!!! He twisted a little bit, but that was The Answer!!!
Hernandez: 1...2...*break by Phantom*
Sandy: That freak ruined Cobryn's win.
Ian: Those are the breaks in the Triple Threat.
[We go split screen showing Cobryn's inverted suplex spun into a falling DDT, and Phantom and Cobryn in a chop Whooooooooo chop Whooooooooo chop Whooooooooo contest. We go back to live action.]
Sandy: What was that?
Sandy: That two screen thing?
Ian: The boys in the back are calling it the Heavenly Feature.
[Phantom grabs Cobryn and whips him off the ropes and catches him with a wicked spear. He picks Cobryn up and drops him down with a Phantomizer (Deathdrop DDT) and heads up top.]]
Ian: Phantom going high risk, looking for it all.
[Phantom flips off the ropes in a picture perfect moonsault and comes crashing down onto Cobryn's knees. Cobryn gets up holding his head and sets Phantom on the top rope. He climbs up and hooks him for a superplex, but Phantom flips over and drops Cobryn onto the back of his head with another Phantomizer. The fall took a lot out of him as well and he can't make the cover.]
Ian: Phantom reversing that superplex into a Phantomizer from the top rope. That was sick.
[Another Heavenly Feature of the Super Phantomizer, and of DSF crawling over to drape an arm on Phantom.]
Hernandez: 1...2...*kickout by Phantom*
Ian: That was close.
Sandy: Too close, that roid boy nearly robbed Cobryn of his gold.
[DSf grabs Phantom and standing headscissors him. Phantom fights the piledriver, but DSF muscles him up and hits a stiff looking DSF Driver. Announser Repoter is up on the apron yelling "WHAT WRONG?" at Cobryn. Ben Hernandez goes over and Repoter starts to do the Beavis & Butthead dance to him too. DSF has the cover, but Hernandez is trying t oget Repoter off the apron. Cobryn pulls a pair of knuckles out of his trunks and does a flying fist drop off the middle ropes with the knuckles on DSF's head. He grabs Phantom's head and pops him in the chops for good measure too. He then slips the knuckles back into his tights.]
Ian: Cobryn with underhanded tactics there.
Sandy: What? There was something in my eye. I didn't see it.
[Hernandez pulls a Blow-Pop out of his pocket and waves it in front of Repoter who starts to climb into the ring to get it. Hernandez tosses the sucker to the padding on the outside and Repoter goes after it. Cobryn waits until Hernandez has turned around to hit The Answer (stalled suplex DDT) on DSF and makes a nonchalant cover.]
["Orion" by Metallica hits and Repoter does his "Repoter Dance." Cobryn grabs his title and makes his way up the ramp.]
Ian: Cobryn wins the title, but he used those knucks again to his advantage.
Sandy: Yeah, he is dreamy, isn't he?
Ian: You don't listen to a thing I say, do you?
[Soutter is seen walking around in the backstage area, on his cell phone. His face is flushed and he grins while talking.]
Soutter: Are you sure about this?
[He listens for a moment and then grins broadly.]
Soutter: Good! Damn good.
[Stan walks up to Soutter as Soutter is hanging up the phone and Stan looks questioningly at the cell phone.]
Soutter: Go tell Angel that everything is going according to plan. We have her fifth member.
Stan: Who is it?
Soutter: Just tell her I got her someone. She won't lose the match, I guarantee it!
Stan: Fine, but she won't be happy about this.
[As Stan walks away, Soutter mumbles, "Too bad!"]
Ian: What has Soutter got up his sleeve?
Sandy: I told you. I told you something was going on. When are going to learn to just nod and smile with me?
Ian: When hell freezes over! And we have caught up with these hardcore freaks again. But we are only down to two men, The Iron Bear is sitting on the Dinner Jazz Cruise and Kilroy and Dread are out of the water, battling back into the French Quarter.
[They fight their way into the Prince Conti Hotel and Dread lifts up and grabs a sign that says Bombay Club and smashes it over Kilroy's head. Dread then grabs a drink from the bar, skulls it, and then runs at Kilroy with the glass, but Kilroy back body drops Dread straight through the piano inside the hotel. Dread falls straight through the piano and Kilroy goes for a cover, 1...2...Dread manages to get a shoulder up. The two men are then escorted out of the building by security and thrown out the front door. Kilroy rolls over and goes for another cover, 1...2...Dread kicks out again.]
Ian: Those security guards have some balls to throw these two guys out. If they weren't so obsessed with destroying each other, they would have taken out that security force for sure.
[Kilroy and Dread then continue to fight down the street and end up outside the Big Daddy Strip Club.]
Sandy: Now they are on my turf Ian, not like that freaky gay bar before that you seemed so familiar with.
Ian: All right Sandy, I was only joking and just made up that guy's name for fun.
Sandy: Of course you did. This place is famous world wide, it goes off, and those mannequin's legs that are swinging out of the window are a great trademark to the adult industry.
[Dread and Kilroy fight their way into the club and Dread hits Kilroy with a spinebuster and then jumps up on the stage and then signals for the Dreadnaught. He is about to launch when the dancer starts rubbing her body up against his. Dread turns around angrily and is about to take her out, but changes his mind and playfully dances with her for a moment. Then he pushes her aside and takes off for the Dreadnaught (knee drop to face), but he asted too much time and Kilroy rolls out of the way. Kilroy reaches up and rips off one of the mannequin's legs and levels Dread with it. Kilroy then delivers the Kilroy Cutter on top of the leg and goes for the cover 1...2...3!!!!!!]
Ian: It's over, what a match, it's gone on for over half the night and across half of New Orleans, but Kilroy has come out of it the victor.
Sandy: That entire battle was...impressive.
Ian: That's all you can say after a battle like that? Hell, that almost stole the show. But now, there will soon be a reckoning coming, because Angel has announced the War Games will take place right after the Women's Championship match. According to Soutter, the replacement will be here by then.
Sandy: So who is it?
Ian: Not even Angel knows. I don't think she cares by now, as long as there is someone in there. She trusts Soutter. He is willing to die for the UWA, as proven here tonight. The man probably has a broke nrib right now thanks to that cheap shot from Bundi earlier, and yet he is still going to fight. That man lives and breathes the UWA!
Adrian Leigh: The following match is for the Women's Championship. Introducing first...
["Master Of Puppet" hits the arena and Jasmine Macabre starts sauntering down to the ring. Her long black hair streaming behind her, her eyes barely visible through the dark makeup and her scarlet lips smiling in anticipation.]
Adrian Leigh: Coming in at 5'9" and 140 lbs, JASMINE MACABRE!
Sandy: A woman should never reveal her weight like that.
Ian: Jasmine isn't afraid of anything, let alone her weight being known. She is the toughest female in this business. She has been begging for some more competition, so Angel brought the Women's Champion over from Japan.
[Typical Japanese pop music hits the arena and Kabuki Akitando strides out to the platform. The crowd boos her loudly and she glares right back. She strides down to the ring and stares up at Jasmine in the center.]
Adrian Leigh: And her opponent, the Women's Champion from UWA Japan, KABUKI AKITANDO!
Ian: It looks like Kabuki has no respect for these Stateside fans. For once, they are completely behind a Society member. They want that title back in this part of the federation.
[The bell rings and Kabuki slides into the ring. Jasmine wastes no time and rushes right at her for a power clothesline. Kabuki ducks and turns with a savate kick, knocking Jasmine down. Kabuki grabs her opponent and throws her to the ropes, going for a cross body but Jasmine grabs her in midair and counters into a powerslam.]
Ian: These two women are the same weight, but Jasmine has a few inches on her and some more strength. While Kabuki is almost entirely Lucha Libre, Jasmine is all about power.
Sandy: Well, they have fought before and Kabuki came out the champion then as well.
Ian: Like anything matters over in Japan.
Sandy: You shouldn't say that. Kabuki might come down here and beat your ass.
[Jasmine grabs Kabuki and delivers a series of punches to the face, chopping her back into the corner. Jasmine whips Kabuki into the corner and then grabs her, whipping her into the opposite corner as well. Jasmine nails a back somersault handspring, splashing right into Kabuki.]
Ian: It looks like Jasmine has been working on her dexterity a little bit. She might have learned her lesson from last time.
Sandy: You know, Kabuki is rather attractive.
Ian: As opposed to what?
Sandy: As opposed to you.
[Jasmine grabs her opponent and nails a bulldog. Jasmine lifts Kabuki back up and whips her to the ropes, nailing an armdrag into an armbar.]
Ian: Kabuki is struggling to those ropes. From what I am reading, she has a massive amount of experience in submission, so this should be no problem for her.
Sandy: She can't reach the ropes.
Ian: Jasmine drags her back into the center of the ring, but Kabuki has flipped over and reversed the hold. Now Jasmine is screaming in pain.
[Jasmine finally reaches the ropes and Jerry Rush, the referee, pulls Kabuki off of her. Both women get to their feet. Kabuki rushes at Jasmine who sidesteps and grabs Kabuki from behind, nailing a full nelson slam. Jasmine rolls Kabuki up for the pin.]
Jerry Rush: 1...2...
Ian: Kabuki easily kicks out. This woman has way more endurance that Jamine is not used to.
Sandy: Queen gave Jasmine a damn good run for her money last Thursday. Jasmine wasn't expecting that.
Ian: Too true. Jasmine might be guilty of underestimating her opponents.
[Kabuki gets to her feet and nails a summersault kick, knocking Jasmine down, but she quickly gets to her feet and grabs Kabuki, landing a powerbomb. Jasmine picks Kabuki up for another powerbomb, but Kabuki nimbly reverses it into move and rolls Jasmine up for the pin.]
Jerry Rush: 1...2...
[Jasmine kicks out. Kabuki picks her up and whips her to the ropes, going for a headlock. Jasmine reverses into a headlock of her own, but Kabuki is quicker and ducks beneath the arm and reverses again into a dragon sleeper. Kabuki latches onto Jasmine, wrapping both legs around her waist. Jasmine is going down.]
Ian: Jerry Rush has lifted Jasmine's arm, but she appears to be out. He lifts is again...
Sandy: The girl is gone. Kabuki latched on tighter than a Magnum condom on a black man.
Ian: Uhmm...Jasmine appears to be out. Wait...she is resisting. She has lifted her arm on the last count. She has elbowed Kabuki and now Kabuki is rolling on the ground in pain.
Sandy: Where did that burst of energy come from?
[Jasmine turns and grabs Kabuki, whipping her to the ropes and landing a leg sweep. Kabuki hits the ground hard and then is on her feet again. Jasmine grabs her and nails a kick to the midsection, setting her up for another powerbomb.]
Ian: Kabuki is in a tough spot now. Jasmine has turned the tides and will tear her apart.
[Kabuki is now on Jasmine's shoulders. Kabuki is flailing about. She hits Jasmine in the head. She nails her again and twists about, reversing the hold into a hurracarana pin.]
Jerry Rush: 1...2...3!
Ian: Jasmine was taken totally by surprise. She didn't expect Kabuki to have much fight left in her. She has won the match and remained the Women's Champion. It looks like we won't be getting that title back soon, not with Kabuki holding it. That woman is tough as nails, even against Jasmine.
Sandy: Isn't it time now?
Ian: Time for what?
Sandy: Time for you to shut up! The owner is about to come down!
["Let The Bodies Hit The Floor" strikes up around the arena and Angel heads down to the ring, her step determined, and a mic in her hand. She steps into the middle of the main ring and then looks around.]
Angel: Well, here we are. I know it was supposed to be the main event, but don't worry, there will be plenty to handle with Tripps and Valentine tossing each other into tables all over the place. I am no chances anymore. We have a fifth member, and now, let me introduce you to the first member to fight for our federation.
["Snap your fingers, snap your neck" hits the arena and Big Stan comes sauntering down to the ring, a huge grin on his face.]
Angel: Let me introduce, my fiance...BIG STAN.
[Angel hands the mic over to Adrian Leigh, wh ogives her a strange look. Angel steps out of the ring, joining Ian and Sandy at the commentating table.]
Ian: Welcome, Angel.
Angel: Thanks Ian, I wouldn't miss this for the world.
[Sandy is about to open her mouth.]
Angel: Shut up, Sandy. I heard what you said earlier. It's best advised to keep your mouth shut for once.
Adrian Leigh: The follwoing match is the War Games. The rules are simple. Two men will come out, and then there will be a coin toss to see which team is allowed to bring out their second member first. Then, every two minutes, another member from one team will arrive in the ring. The match will not officially start until all ten men are in the ring. The only way to win is by submission. Now, since the first member of Team UWA is out here, introducing the first member of Team ICW, their World Champion, BUNDI!
["My Time" hits the arena and Bundi comes sauntering down to ringside. He looks behind him and suddenly he is joined by Mr. Gunn. Mr. Gunn and Bundi nod at each other and embrace, and then Gunn heads over to the commentating table, glaring at Angel, and takes a seat. Bundi stands on the outside of the ring and glares up at Stan.]
Angel: Well, I suppose we should have hat coin toss. Though it really doesn't matter anyhow. Your team doesn't stand a chance.
Gunn: Get over yourself, Angel.
[Angel and Gunn stand up and the referee, Stuart MacPherson, steps between them. He looks at Angel, who calls heads, and then flips the coin. The coin goes up into the air and everyone's eyes follow it. As it lands, Stu catches it and then he reads it.]
Ian: It looks like Gunn will get the advantage in this match. I should say congratulations, but I can't bring myself to be that big of a hypocrite.
Gunn: Don't worry, Ian. I might let you have a job after this is all over. I could always use a good janitor around here.
Ian: Screw you. If I don't work for Angel, I don't work for this damn federation.
[Bundi finally steps into the ring and the clock up on the Angeltron begins to commence. Bundi and Stan circle each other and then Bundi wastes no time in rushing at Stan. Stan easily knocks him down with a clothesline. Stan whips Bundi to the ropes but Bundi ducks the big boot from Stan and turns and lands a roundhouse kick. As Bundi goes for another kick, Stan grabs his leg and drives his elbow down into it.]
Ian: That had to hurt. Your World Champion is no match for the big man.
Gunn: We'll see about that. Just wait, I always have a few...surprises planned.
Angel: Yeah, and so do I!
Gunn: What the hell are you talking about? You don't even know who your last member is.
Angel: Unlike you, I trust my men to make the right decision.
[The clock on the Angeltron finally counts down and "Leave" by Stereomud hits the arena and Baddazz Bryant Tanner runs down to the ring. He quickly slides in and grabs Stan from behind, nailing an Atomic drop.]
Ian: Now that was an impressive feat of strength. I give him that much. It takes a lot to lift the big man up.
Sandy: Angel would know!
Angel: Shut the hell up, slut!
[Bundi gets to his feet, favoring his other leg and he and BBT begin to stomp Stan into the ground. Stan crawls back into the corner and BBT applies a boot choke. BBT lets the choke go and Bundi nails a dropkick to Stan's face. Both men pick Stan up and whip him to the ropes, landing a double overhead suplex.]
Ian: This double teaming is not fair.
Gunn: Get used to it. It'll be going on the entire match.
Angel: It's not so easy to double team Stan. See!
[Stan has gotten to his fert and grabbed both BBT and Bundi for a double chokeslam. He lifts both men up, but Bundi nails him in the groin. Stan falls to his knees and Bundi picks him back up, running with him and nails the Celtic Cross, a running stunner.]
Gunn: You were sating, Angel? Looks like your fun might be gone for the night! But don't worry, I could always make you my personal assistant once this is all over.
Angel: Gunn, I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole. You disgust everyone around you.
[The timer on the Angeltron runs out and "Sexy Boy" hits the arena as HBKing runs down to the ring. Queen rushes down at his side, but she stops on the outside of the cage. HBK climbs into the cage and onto the top turnbuckle and comes down, nailing a missile dropkick on BBT. Stan gets to his feet and grabs Bundi into a chokeslam tossing him all the way over into the ring. Stan moves through the ropes and follows Bundi into the second ring.]
Ian: Now the odds are a little more even. This is more like it.
Gunn: It won't last long.
Angel: Now my boys are showing their true colors. HBK has BBT in the sharpshooter.
Gunn: It's a bit too soon for the submissions, dear.
Angel: He's only practicing for later when he nails your ass to the mat.
[HBK finally lets BBT go. BBT gets to his feet and nails a hard right, then whips HBK to the ropes, delivering a double underhook suplex. BBT hits a leg drop and then begins to stomp HBK into the mat. Stan has grabbed Bundi and nailed the Sky High, a short powerbomb.]
Angel: Bundi already looks like a rag doll and the match is barely begun.
Gunn: He always comes back. Just wait.
[The clock on the Angeltron suddenly runs out and "Scum Of The Earth" hits the arena. Greg Daniels comes rushing down to the arena floor. He stops before the two rings and looks at both. He looks about in indecision and then slides into the second ring to help out Bundi. Greg superkicks Stan from behind, knocking him into the ropes, and Daniels grabs him, aniling a release German suplex. Bundi gets to his feet, staggering around and then joins Daniels in stomping on Stan. Daniels jumps over to the ring and grabs HBK from behind and nails a bulldog. BBT and Daniels begin to pound away at HBK.]
Ian: Why would he leave Bundi alone with the big man again?
Angel: Because he is an idiot. I am actually glad you took him off our hands, Gunn. You did me a favor.
[Gunn is on his feet, yelling for Greg to join Bundi again. Stan is now on his feet and he grabs Bundi, nailing a powerslam which leaves Bundi jerking in the middle of the ring. Gunn runs up to the apron and starts yelling at Greg. Queen climbs up to the top turnbuckle and comes down with a hurracarana on Gunn.]
Angel: Now that's my girl!
[The clock on the Angeltron runs out again and suddenly "Eu Confisco" hits the arena. Chupacabra rushes down to the ring and smiles over at Stan. He jumps up onto the top turnbuckle and lands a twisting plancha on Greg Daniels. Cabra is immediately on his feet and throws Daniels to the ropes, nailing a guillotine facedriver.]
Angel: Thinga have evened out a bit more now. They really stand no chance. It almost makes me feel sorry for them.
Ian: Don't get so cocky yet, Angel. Look at that. BBT has taken HBK to the top turnbuckle. Oh God, this is going to hurt.
Angel: Poor HBK. A brianbuster from the top rope. Ouch!
[BBT grabs HBK and whips him to the other corner, following and setting him up in the Tree of Woe. BBT nails a dropkick to the face and HBK slumps down. Cabra has grabbed Daniels and nails a Northern lights suplex. Stan is just standing in the other ring. He takes Bundi's body and rolls it out of the ring, and then moves through the ropes and grabs BBT as he is running at HHBK. Stan lifts BBT up in the air and smacks him down hard to the ground in a clothesline.]
Angel: Way to go, baby!
Ian: Playing favorites?
Angel: I love my entire team. Oh, it looks like Gunn has finally recovered from having Queen's legs around him. Probably the most action the man has gotten in years.
[As Gunn rejoins the commentating table, the clock on the Angeltron runs out again and "Ambitionz Az A Ridah" hits the arena and Hunglow comes running down to the ring. He slides in and immediately grabs Stan, throwing him to the ropes and mailing a tilt-a-whirl suplex. Hunglow and BBT both grab Stan and nail a double piledriver. Cabra grabs Daniels and goes for an inverted leg sweep, but Daniels breaks away and pushes towards the ropes, nailing a belly to belly overhead suplex. Daniels goes over to the corner and kicks the slumped HBK in the face before climbing to the top turnbuckle and coming down with a frog splash on Cabra.]
Gunn: Now who has control, Angel? Let me think...ME!
Angel: I can't believe I ever hired you. What the hell was I thinking?
Gunn: I know. It is the smartest move you ever made. Not only are you going to lose control of your federation, but your poor World Champion is going to pray he was never born.
Ian: BBT and Hunglow are really taking a beating to Stan. It looks like Bundi is back on his feet. Daniels is taking care of Cabra and Bundi is now attacking HBK.
Angel: When will that damn clock stop?
Gunn: Won't do you any good. Your next man is a 400 lb. cripple.
[Hunglow grabs Stan and whips him to the ropes as BBT climbs to the top rope. Hunglow nails a spinebuster at the same time BBT comes down with a leg drop. Bundi has grabbed HBK and whipped him to the ropes, landing a spear. Daniels and Cabra are battling it out, punch for punch, close to the ropes. Hunglow and BBT sent Stan reeling into Daniels and Cabra and the force sends all three men up against the cage. Daniels grabs Cabra's face and rakes it against the wall of the cage.]
Ian: It's about time someone made use of the cage. Wait...Cabra has just vertical suplexed Daniels right into the cage.
Angel: And then brought him down in a dangerous DDT. That's my boy!
Gunn: You speak about them as if they were your children.
Angel: At least I don't use them the way you do.
[The clock on the Angeltron suddenly counts down again and "Rip It Up" hits the arena as Soutter, wincing in pain, runs down to the ring. He climbs into the cage and the stagehands secure it back up. He takes a look around and then grabs Hunglow from behind, nailing a pumphandle slam. Hunglow is quickly back on his feet and dropkicks Soutter, right in his bruised rib. Soutter staggers to his feet and Hunglow comes behind him, nailing a full nelson into a suplex.]
Gunn: It looks like your savior is gone and all you have left is some unknown wrestler you can't even count on. This place is mine, baby.
Ian: Soutter has nailed a clothesline on Hunglow, but it lacked power. The man is in pain. Cabra looks pissed. His face is all bloody.
Sandy: Thank God it isn't Cobryn in there, then. No need to damage that beautiful face.
[HBK staggers to his feet and lands a clothesline on Bundi, twisting around and nailing the Love Maker. Bundi staggers back, bounces off the ropes and HBK splashes him into the cage. Bundi slumps down as HBK is now stomping on his chest. Cabra grabs Daniels and picks him up in an Atomic bomb, but drives Daniels' face right into the mat in an inverted powerbomb.]
Ian: The Face-eraser. I haven't seen him use that in a long time. Cabra has some momentum, as does HBK, but BBT and Hunglow are just tearing Stan and Soutter apart.
Angel: Damn it, Stan, get up. You're bigger than him.
Gunn: Doesn't matter now. Your little boy toy is about to be...castrated.
Ian: Damn! BBT just lowblowed Stan and then nailed the Painkiller.
Gunn: A vicious Pittsburgh plunge!
[The clock counts down again and suddenly "Fight Music" is heard and Bruno comes running down to the ring. He looks at all the mayhem and then looks at Queen. Before getting in, he grabs her, kisses her, and then runs into the cage. He gets in and storms over to HBK. He grabs HBK and shows him what he did to Queen and then immediately lifts him up for the Brunocutter, a diamond cutter.]
Ian: That was uncalled for. Now Team ICW just seems to be taunting Team UWA. The only person with any control anymore is Cabra.
Gunn: Not for long. It seems Hunglow has tired of torturing Soutter. He just landed a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drop on Cabra.
Angel: Damn it. How did we lose control? How?
[Bundi gets to his feet and he and Bruno begin to tear into HBK. Stan staggers to his feet only to get a clothesline from from BBT. Daniels goes over, grabs Soutter from the ground, and drives a knee into the bruised rib. Daniels takes Soutter over to the ropes and tries to pick him up, but Soutter reverses and nails a double arm suplex on Daniels. Hunglow grabs Cabra and walks back a step but staggers over Daniels.]
Ian: This one ring is getting too crowded. Wait...Hunglow is taking Cabra over to the other ring. He just catapulted Cabra over the top rope, landing in the other ring.
Angel: Damn it Cabra, get on your feet. Do something!
[Cabra staggers to his feet as Hunglow climbs to the top rope and comes sailing off with a standing body splash. Cabra throws Hunglow off of him and gets to his feet. He grabs Hunglow and whips him to the ropes, nailing a superkick and then a slingshot jackhammer.]
Angel: At least someone is taking control. Come on, Stan. You are the biggest bastard in this ring.
Ian: But not BBT and Bruno are laying him out. It seems he has had two men on him the entire match.
[Bundi and HBK are now slugging it out. Bundi grabs HBK and lifts hi mup, nailing an electric chair drop. As HBK comes down, he hits Soutter. Both men tumble over. Soutter gets to his feet and pushes HBK away only to be clotheslined by Daniels, driving him back and tumbling over the top rope to the other ring. Daniels quickly comes through the ropes and follows him in.]
Ian: Stan is being annihilated by BBT and Bruno. Damn, that was a nice double team leg drop.
Gunn: My men know how to work together.
Angel: What is wrong with that clock. Where in the hell is my fifth man?
[The clock suddenly counts down again and the entire arena goes dark. All the wrestlers in the ring stop and look around. Pitch blackness has engulfed the room and suddenly "All Along The Watchtower" hits the arena and the lights come up as Austen comes sailing down the rampway. The stagehand holds the door open and the referees run in as well. Stu MacPherson and Anthony Carass are overseeing the match. The stagehands lock the doors and the bell suddenly rings.]
Angel: I can't believe it. I can't believe what Soutter has done to me. austen will deliberately lose this match! He hates me!
[Gunn sits there, laughing uncontrollably.]
Angel: Shut the hell up, you ass!
Ian: Angel, hold on. Austen is looking around. I don't think...Austen has gone straight for Bundi, the ICW World Champion. Austen has speared Bundi to the mat.
[HBK turns and smiles at Austen and then quickly ducks a clothesline from BBT and nails a Love Maker right on BBT. HBK nails a Russian leg sweep and then pulls BBT into the sharpshooter. Bruno quickly runs over and breaks the hold as Stan gets to his feet, looking fiercely angry. Soutter is still having his rib beat on by Daniels, now by shoulder thrusts to the stomach, as Cabra nails a pesadelo kick on Hunglow and then grabs him, nailing a fireman's carry kneedriver facebuster.]
Angel: Oh my God. Austen is helping me! I can't believe it.
Angel: Shut the hell up! I'm winning now.
[Bundi gets to his feet and Austen is waiting for him. Austen goes for a clothesline but Bundi ducks and then locks the sleeper on Austen. Stan grabs Bruno and lifts him up, slamming him down in a chokeslam, but then picks him up again and bodily throws him against the corner. Cabra throws Hunglow into the corner and now Bruno and Hunglow are back to back. Cabra nails a tumbling back elbow into the corner as Stan nails an elbow to the throat. Daniels grabs Soutter and nails a powerslam, then comes down and hits a leg drop, rolling Soutter up in an armdrag.]
Ian: Both Bundi and Daniels have submissions on. It looks like it might be over.
Angel: Damn it, Stan, pay attention. Cabra, look behind you.
Gunn: You idiot, they can't hear you!
Angel: Shut up, it makes me feel better!
[Cabra turns and sees Daniels and rushes over, breaking the hold. Soutter gets to his feet only to get gored in the stomach by Hunglow. BBT clotheslines HBK to the mat and then turns to Stan. Stan grabs him and hits the Sky High. Stan turns to Austen and sees the sleeper. He roars and charges over, knocking into Bundi and slamming both Austen and Bundi against the steel cage with his weight. As Stan staggers back, Bruno is waiting to deliver the Bruno Slam, an Angle slam.]
Ian: This match is never going to end. One man won't let the others get the holds on long enough.
Angel: We just need the right opening, you'll see.
Gunn: And I'll damn well make sure you don't get that!
[Cabra grabs Daniels and nails a carioca-plex, a crossface chickenwing suplex. Cabra goes up to the top rope and nails the Cancun Tornado. Cabra places the Bermimbau on Daniels.]
Ian: Bruno is distracting Carass. The referee isn't watching the damn submission. Wait...Daniels is tapping out. He is tapping out like a madman.
Angel: Damn it, Carass, turn around.
[Cabra lets Daniels go and grabs Carass, arguing with him. Hunglow takes the advantage and gores Cabra right into Carass, knocking them both down. Soutter staggers to his feet and grabs Hunglow, nailing the Soutter Special, a pumphandle into a ghostbuster DDT. Cabra, Hunglow, Daniels, and Soutter are all sprawled out in the ring.]
Ian: Stan has just slammed Bruno against the steel cage. Wait...he has grabbed BBT and thrown him against the cage as well. Stan is cleaning house.
[Austen and Bundi both stagger to their feet and Bundi turns, only to get a chokeslam from Stan. Stan turns back to BBT who is rushing at him and quickly grabs him, nailing a snap suplex. Austen hits Bundi with a jawbreaker and Bundi hits the mat. Austen wraps him up in the figure four.]
Angel: That's right. More pressure, put more pressure on.
Ian: Angel, they really can't hear you.
Angel: Shut up, Ian.
[Gunn gets up from the desk and charges over to the door. He has managed to get the door open and is trying to climb inside, but Angel drags him back down. He turns to her and gets a slap in the face. Gunn grabs Angel and is about to slam her to the ground when Stan reaches out of the ring and grabs Gunn by the shirt, bodily throwing him into the ring. HBK staggers to his feet and puts the sharpshooter on Gunn.]
Ian: Oh my God! Both Gunn and Bundi are under submission. Who will tap first?
[Stu Macpherson is looking at both men as Bundi tries to crawl to the ropes, but Stan grabs Austen and pulls him back to the center of the ring. Austen exerts more pressure as HBK does the same and finally both men, Bundi and Gunn, begin to ferociously tap at the same time.]
Adrian Leigh: Ladies and gentleman, the winners of this match by submission, TEAM UWA!
[Angel jumps into the ring and runs straight at Stan. She jumps into his arms and hugs him fiercely. He picks her up and they leave the ring together. Cabra and Soutter stagger out of the ring and the cage, with HBK and Austen following. Ange lleads the way to the top of the platform and then raises their arms in victory. She looks down into the ring at Gunn staggering to his feet, and then turns on her heel, leaving the entranceway.]
Ian: It looks like the federation is staying where it belongs, in Angel's control.
Sandy: But how is she going to deal with Austen being back?
Ian: She'll be grateful, of course. He did just save her federation for her!
[The camera follows Angel as she goes back to her dressing room. All of Team UWA follows her and she grabs a bunch of glasses. She happily pours champagne into the glasses and hands them out. Austen is the last man to enter the room. He looks at Angel and she looks directly at him. He raises an eyebrow and looks at her questioningly. She sighs and then hands him a glass, but she is glaring a hole into his head.]
Angel: Peace...for now!
Austen: Yeah...for now!
[Angel raises her glass high in the air.]
Angel: To Team UWA...and to Gunn's ultimate humiliation!
[All the men raise their glasses and swallow them in one gulp.]
Ian: We are now waiting as the stagehands set up for the final match. They are not placing the table all around both rings. Originally, it was supposed to be around only the main ring but, with the War Games, that has been changed. These two men will battle in both rings, with tables surrounding both.
Adrian Leigh: The following is a MIR match for the World Championship.
[The lights go out and the fans break out the glow sticks as "Gamesmaster" by Paul Oakenfold hits the arena and Jonnie Valentine saunters down to the ring, his Society jersey in place and sporting his dark sunglasses. He steps into the ring and throws the glasses into the crowd.]
Adrian Leigh: Introducing the challenger, coming in at 234 lbs, 'HARDKORE" JONNIE VALENTINE!
Sandy: One of these days I will find out if Jonnie really is as kinky as I think. Perhaps when he is drugged up.
Ian: That'd be the only time he'd be stupid enough to sleep with you.
[The lights in the arena go out again as the red spotlights begin to wander around the platform and Gadsmack, onto the side of the platform, kicks up their song "Tripps." Tripps himself comes out to the platform and then walks over to the band. He nods at Sully Erna, who nods back, and then Tripps head down to the ring. He steps into the center, posing for the roaring crowd, and then points at Godsmack. He steps into the center of the ring and the red pyros shoot off behind him as the band finishes the song.]
Ian: It's not everyday that the creators of your theme song play it for you live.
Sandy: He really must be screwing the boss to get that kind of treatment. She doesn't even treat her fiance that well.
Ian: Angel can afford to be magnanimous right now. She just won the greatest battle of her life.
[The bell rings and Jonnie looks around at the tables and smirks at Tripps. Tripps shrugs back at him and then moves to lock up. Jonnie locks up with him and then nails Tripps in the head with an elbow. Tripps staggers back and Jonnie hits with a few knife-edge chops. Tripps hits the ropes and bounces off, going for a clothesline, but Jonnie ducks and then nails a release German suplex.]
Ian: Jonnie is taking immediate control. He is in his element tonight. This match was of his own making!
Sandy: Jonnie is a genius.
Ian: You make me sick sometimes.
[Jonnie grabs Tripps and climbs to the top turnbuckle. He grabs Tripps and throws him over the top rope, but Tripps latches on and uses his weight to throw Jonnie over his shoulder to the tables below. Both men go crashing through the tables.]
Ian: That didn't take them long.
Sandy: Jonnie wants his message to be clear from the beginning. He plans on ending Tripps' career tonight!
[Jonnie staggers to his feet and grabs Tripps, landing a snap suplex right on the rubble of wood. Tripps staggers to his feet and nails Jonnie in the head with a punch. He grabs Jonnie and throws him into the guardrail, but Jonnie jumps onto the rail and comes off, landing a roundhouse kick.]
Ian: Jonnie definitely has control here. He has thrown Tripps back into the ring now. It looks like the tables will have to wait for later.
Sandy: Don't bet on that. Jannie is taking along piece of wood into the ring with him.
[Stu MacPherson grabs the wood from Jonnie's hand and begins to reprimand him. Jonnie pushes Stu out of the way, but the big Scot gets right back in his face. Tripps gets to his feet and dropkicks Stu into Jonnie, sending them both into the corner. Tripps pushes Stu out of the way and grabs Jonnie, landing a reverse DDT. Tripps grabs Jonnie and whips him to the ropes, landing a spinebuster. He goes to the top rope and comes down with a leg drop. He rolls Jonnie up for the pin, but there is no referee. Stu is out right now.]
Ian: Tripps wasn't too happy about that. He gets his momentum back but loses it because Stu is out of commission right now.
Sandy: It's his own damn fault. He's the one who hurt the referee.
[Tripps turns back to Jonnie only to be grabbed and whipped to the ropes, where Jonnie lands a double underhook ganso bomb. Jonnie pulls Tripps up and lands a razor's edge into a tigerbomb. Jonnie grabs Stu and slaps him awake. He sets the referee on his feet and then rolls Tripps up for the count.]
Stu: *slow count* 1...2...
Ian: Tripps easily kicks out of that one. Stu is still too dazed to make the proper count.
[Jonnie picks Tripps up and throws him to the ropes again, going for a clothesline, but Tripps ducks and comes back around with a high knee to the face. Jonnie staggers back and Tripps grabs him and lands a vertical suplex. Tripps rolls Jonnie up for the cover.]
[Jonnie almost throws Tripps off his body and gets to his feet. He grabs Tripps and lands a chickenwing into a heart punch. Tripps staggers back to the ropes and Jonnie clothelsines him over the top rope. Tripps lands on the table outside of the ring but it does not break. Jonnie climbs to the top turnbuckle and comes down with a frog style body press. Both Jonnie and Tripps land in a heap in the shattered table.]
Ian: Jonnie is nuts. He is insane. The man just doesn't know when to quit. How can he put his body in that kind of...danger.
Sandy: It's called having something you never will...balls!
[Jonnie grabs Tripps and slams him down into the guardrail. Jonnie then picks Tripps up and climbs onto the second table. He catapults Tripps into the audience from the table. Tripps goes flying and lands on the hard concrete outside. Jonnie follows Tripps into the crowd.]
Ian: Jonnie just nailed a double underhook suplex onto those steel stairs. Tripps is bleeding all over the place.
Sandy: He can't do that. Tripps just threw Jonnie into this fat woman. Thank God she broke his fall.
[Tripps grabs Jonnie and throws him back to the guardrail, where he tumbles over onto a table. Tripps climbs onto the rail and lands a leg drop and the table shatters beneath them. Tripps and Jonnie are now lying in the middle of the table, both struggling to get to their feet. Jonnie grabs Tripps and throws him into the ring. Tripps staggers to his feet and Jonnie rushes into the ring. Tripps tries to stomp on Jonnie, but Jonnie grabs his feet and drags, sweeping them out from under him. Jonnie grabs Tripps and whips him to the ropes and goes for a vertical suplex, but Tripps reverses it into a front falling suplex.]
Ian: This is back and forth, back and forth. Tripps has grabbed Jonnie and landed the Heavt Debt. He is going for the pin.
[Jonnie manages to kick out right before three. Tripps gets to his feet as he begins to argue with the referee. Tripps pushes Stu, but Stu pushes him back. Tripps is about to nail the referee with a right hook when Jonnie grabs him from behind and nails a full nelson release brainbuster suplex. Jonnie grabs Tripps again and kicks him in the midsection, setting him up for the Power Trip. Jonnie nails Tripps' finisher and then rolls him up for the pin.]
[Stu is suddenly pulled from the ring by someone outside and knocked down.]
Ian: It's Gunn. Gunn has pulled Stu MacPherson from the count. What in the hell is he doing down here?
[Jonnie turns to glare at Gunn as Tripps staggers to his feet. Gunn comes around to the commentating table and grabs the World title in his hands. Jonnie turns to Tripps and then sees Gunn sneaking up behind Tripps. Jonnie smirks into Tripps' face as Tripps goes to reach for him.]
[Tripps suddenly ducks as Gunn nails Jonnie in the head with the belt. Gunn quickly leaves the ring and throws Stu back in. Tripps grabs Jonnie and nails the Power Trip, rolling him up for the pin.]
[Godsmack starts playing the song again as Adrian Leigh announces the winner. Tripps rolls Jonnie over to the outside and onto a table. Tripps goes to the top rope and jumps off, coming down on Jonnie with a double knee drop with the belt beneath his knees. The table breaks beneath them as both men crash to the ground.]
Ian: That was unnecessary. But what the hell is going on here? First Gunn tries to gain control of our federation and Tripps' career, the man he hates more than anyone, and now he is helping him retain the World Championship?
[Tripps staggers to his feet and charges up the ramp. At the top of the ramp, Gunn is waiting. Tripps stops dead in his tracks as Gunn extends his hand. Tripps looks warily at the hand and then looks over his shoulder at the fallen Jonnie. Tripps looks back at Gunn and shakes his hand. Gunn nods at him and then turns around, leaving the platform. Tripps turns to face the crowd, raises the belt over his head, and then leaves the platform as well.]
Ian: What is Angel going to think of this? Has Tripps aligned with Mr. Gunn, or has Gunn had a change of heart? What is going on here? What is going to happen when the owner finds out that Gunn is still around?
Fatal Four Way Tag team Championship
Baddazz/Original Bombster vs. The Road Runners vs. The Goodfellas vs. The Hellhounds
Winners and New Tag Team Champions: The Road Runners
MLP vs. Pain
Winner by disqualification: MLP
Kilroy Evans vs. Dread vs. The Iron Bear
Winner: Kilroy Evans
Y2K vs. Godzilla
Reward: winner will face the Internet Champion
Phantom vs. Cobryn vs. DSF
Jasmine Macabre vs. Kabuki Akitando
Winner: Kabuki Akitando
Team UWA vs. Team ICW
Winner: Team UWA
"Hardkore" Jonnie Valentine vs. Tripps
Angela: "Or close to it. Remember Palm Springs Punishment for what could have been for you Bruno and Karnage. We're out of here."
The Shootfighter: "They go into a store as the scene slowly fades to black."