© Laina (Dear Goodbye)

Forbidden Friendship, Secret Romance
Event: UC GH 2nd Anniversary Fiction Marathon
Pairing: Jasper “Jax” Jacks and Nadine Crowell – Jaxdine
TV Show: General Hospital
xoxoxo
A/N: There will be a sequel to this, titled “Fixing a Broken Home” and both this one-shot & the sequel are dedicated to one of my “Besties”, Laina aka Dear Goodbye, who gave me some Jaxdine LOVIN’! Thanks for that, Bestie! ENJOY!! Oh, and the result of Nadine’s panic attack is because she was held hostage between meeting Jax for the first time and when this scene takes place.
xoxoxo
Song: Drowning
Artist: Backstreet Boys
xoxoxo
Don’t pretend you’re sorry
I know you’re not
You know you got the power
To make me weak inside
Girl you leave me breathless
But its okay ‘cause
You are my survival
I can’t imagine life
Without your love
Even forever doesn’t seem
Like long enough

Nadine had made her special shrimp dish a thousand times. It was her favorite company entrée, but this time something had definitely gone wrong. She stared in dismay at the lumpy cheese sauce, then with a groan, she lifted the pot and dumped it—sauce and all—in the sink. She’d just have to start over. Again.

Reassembling the ingredients, she shook her head over her cooking disaster and stared at her recipe. She knew exactly where the problem lay—it was with the cook. She was rattled and distracted. Making the decision to call Jax had been a big one for her, and she still wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing. Talking to Elizabeth had helped, then she’d discussed the topic with her other friends during one of their book discussion sessions, too. Strangely enough, it was her best friend who’d given her the courage to finally telephone him.

Her eyes focused, her mind all there, Elizabeth had listened carefully the previous Wednesday as Nadine talked about Jax.

“It sounds as if you like him,” her friend said. “But is he going to be careful with your heart, Nadine?”

She’d frowned over the heart part. Jax was a man—that was more than clear. “He’s wonderful,” she answered. “And he’s been a great dad. You’ll see what I’m talking about.”

“I’m sure I would if you’re so sure,” Elizabeth smiled so sweetly it stole Nadine’s breath. “Falling in love with someone is very important, you know. You have to be careful about who holds your heart.”

Nadine left the daycare with those words ringing in her mind. The next day, she’d picked up the phone and called Jax. Now here she was, burning her cheese sauce and getting nervous.

Chorus
‘Cause every time I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I’m swept away by love
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

Concentrating harder, she grabbed the chunk of Asiago and began to grate again.



When he opened the door, Jax wasn’t prepared. He’d expected Nadine to be on the other side—the stopwatch had beeped a few minutes before—but actually seeing her at his door, waiting just for him, was almost unnerving. He’d faced guns and irate ex-husbands, hostage situations and suicide takers but none of them had made him as nervous as he was right now. Maybe he’d thought she would back out or maybe he’d decided he’d dreamed her phone call. Whatever it was, as she stood there and smiled at him, his heartbeat suddenly accelerated, kicking inside his chest as if a .45 were pointed at him.

In an effort to distract himself, he looked at the dress she wore. It was simple, a white sleeveless thing. Her legs were bare, and their tanned perfection didn’t help his jitters at all. It worked the opposite way, in fact, so he fastened on the details. She had on sandals, but she’d changed her polish. This time her toenails were red and so was her lipstick. He found himself wondering if that signified something important.

He hoped it did.

She spoke warily, her smile tentative. “May I come in? Or is something wrong?”

“God, yes. I’m sorry….” Feeling like a fool, he opened the door wider and stepped aside, waving his arm toward the entry. “Please, come in. Whatever you’re carrying smells outstanding.”

“I hope it tastes that way, too,” she eased past him and headed toward the large walk-through kitchen, talking over her shoulder. “It’ll be a miracle if its worth eating. I’m going to chill it while I finish making the salads.”

Maybe I’m a drifter
Late at night
‘Cause I long for the safety
Of flowing freely
In your arms
I don’t need another lover
Its not for me
‘Cause only you can save me
Oh can’t you see
I can’t imagine life
Without your love
And even forever don’t seem
Like long enough

Closing the door, Jax hurried to catch up with her. By the time she’d set the dish inside his almost empty refrigerator, he was standing right behind her. “I’m sure it’ll be terrific. Anything short of leftovers is gourmet to me.”

She turned to reply and bumped into him with a tiny, “Oh.”

He hadn’t meant to be so close—or had he? As Jax raised his hands to steady her, he wasn’t sure. Either way, when he touched her, his fingers sliding against the bare satin of her arm, something happened between them.

If someone had asked him later to describe that moment, Jax would not have been able to do it. He didn’t have the words in his vocabulary. All he knew was that he had to kiss Nadine. It sounded unbelievable—and it felt that way too—but he recognized the power of the urge for what it was. Nothing could have kept him from her. Nothing. Lowering his head to hers, he put his mouth against her lips and everything else fell into place. His hands on her hips, her fingers against his chest, their bodies one against the other.

Dropping the lettuce to the counter, she stiffened in surprise. But almost immediately she moved closer to him, her arms going up to link around his neck, her firm curves molding to his hips and thighs with an obvious response. She was perfect and he marveled at the way they fit together. From the very first moment he’d seen her taking care of Josslyn, Jax had felt a connection with Nadine and now, as she kissed him so freely, he experienced the strength of that invisible attachment. He didn’t understand it and had no idea where it came from, but it was as real as the room in which they stood. He’d heard of two people being made for each other and scoffed.

He would never do that again.

They held the embrace for a few more minutes, then Jax pulled back and looked down at her. He wanted to lift her up, carry her to his bedroom and make love to her. He didn’t want dinner, he didn’t want desert. He didn’t want to open the chilled bottle of Chablis she’d asked him to buy. All he wanted was her, but he couldn’t say that. Nadine was different from the other women he’d been with. She was too smart and too beautiful and too elegant to drag into the bedroom without making sure everything was as flawless as she was. He’d almost done that before and it’d been a disaster. He wanted to do it right this time. She deserved the very best he could give her and rushing to bed wouldn’t be it.

Chorus
‘Cause every time I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I’m swept away by love
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

She met his gaze with her dark-green eyes, then she brought her hands forward and placed them on either side of his face. Her touch was light and delicate and he could hardly bear to feel it because it made him ache for more. With her fingertips barely brushing his skin, a silent spark of anticipation flared between them. It was swift and electrical.

“Let’s skip dinner,” she said in a husky voice. “Suddenly something else sounds like a lot more fun.”

xoxoxo

She’d never been so direct with a man in her life; it was totally out of character for Nadine. But feeling the blue heat of Jax’s gaze and reading the desire behind the attraction they both obviously felt, nothing else made sense. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, and she’d done enough thinking about it. She wanted action. Whether it was the right thing or not, she didn’t care. She’d already decided.

He smiled slowly, an expression that went straight into her heart and warmed her even more—something she’d have thought impossible at this point.

“I agree completely,” he said. “But I have to ask—you’re sure?”

“I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but…”

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can’t resist
‘Cause you’re the air
That I breathe

She moved her fingers to his lips and silenced him gently. “Don’t ask me anymore,” she instructed softly. “Just kiss me, okay?”

He did as she requested, and once again, his lips covered hers. The moment seemed to last an eternity but maybe she just wanted it to feel that way. Without taking his mouth away, he bent down and swept her into his arms. In a dozen long strides they were in his bedroom. He set her down beside the bed, his hands going to the back of her dress. With his eyes never leaving hers, he slowly eased the zipper down. The air-conditioning in the cottage suddenly kicked on and cold air from the vent overhead skimmed over her bare skin. Nadine shivered once, the juxtaposition of the chill to Jax’s heated touch almost more than she could handle.

He left her dress hanging on her shoulders, then lifted his hands to his shirt and started to unbutton it. She wanted to do it herself, but Nadine couldn’t move. She watched as the shirt fell open to reveal his tanned and muscular chest. She’d never been with someone so imposing, so overpowering. If her knees hadn’t been against the bed, she might have backed up to increase the distance between them. Jax seemed to take all the space in the room and compress it into something flammable. Only when he shrugged out of his shirt did her paralysis end. Her hands went to his bare skin and she spread her palms over his chest. She almost snatched her hands away, his body was so hot, but she left them there, unable to pull away. Under her touch, she was amazed to feel his heart thumping almost as fast as her own.

She lifted her eyes to his and his blue gaze, so cold in the past, was burning. “Turn around,” he said hoarsely. “Let me take off your dress.”

Once again, she did exactly as he said, and when the ivory sheath fell to the floor, she pivoted in the circle of his arms to face him.

Gently reaching out, he traced the swell of her right breast, taking a slow, torturous route before he slipped his finger into the valley of her cleavage. Her pulse leapt. How could he touch her so simply and make her feel as if she were about to explode? He brought his hand up and let the finger lightly flicker over her other side, then he reached out with both hands and cupped the weight of her breasts, his thumbs scorching her nipples through the lace of her bra. She caught her breath in her throat and froze.

She felt dizzy and disoriented and completely undone. As they sunk toward the bed, their arms wrapped around each other, she put her hands against his back and encountered the strength of his muscles. Only then—when her touch registered—did she finally understand what was going on.

Chorus
‘Cause every time I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I’m swept away by love
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

Jax made her feel safe. He was so tall and so strong, she felt protected from any danger. No one had ever done this for her before and she opened herself up to him with a sigh of release.

He sensed her acquiescence. Shedding the rest of his clothes and removing what was left of hers, his hands danced over her bare skin with a faster, more urgent need. She responded in kind, her fingers exploring the ridges and cords of his arms and legs and back. Each place she touched felt the same; rock solid and hard.

Only his mouth was soft and tender. Everywhere he could, he was kissing her, his lips drawing a crazy quilt pattern of desire that grew with every second. His hands quickly followed and with each feathered caress, he brought her closer and closer to the brink of a climax. No longer able to control herself, she pressed against him and urged him into a faster pace. But she didn’t need to tell him; he read her body as easily as he did everything else. He reached into the bedside table, then she heard the foil tear as he took out a condom. A moment later, he slipped inside her with gentle care and built the rhythm into the kind of frenzied tempo they both needed. With the part of her brain that wasn’t on fire, Nadine noted this in amazement. How did he know how to please her so well? How could he tell what to do and when to do it?

She only wondered for a moment. His powerful thrusts sent her mind spinning into an abyss of pleasure. For what seemed like a very long time, she stayed there, untethered by anything but the thrill of the building heat between them. It was more incredible than she’d even imagined. She couldn’t have envisaged the feeling because nothing in her past had come even close. The explosion of her climax was just as astounding. Totally unprepared, she let the sensual wave carry her off.

When she drifted back down, she had a single thought. It came from a place deep within her, but Nadine knew—as all women do—that the impression was as real as the bed she was lying in.

Nothing in her life would ever be the same again.



She woke up in the middle of the night. For one short second, Nadine didn’t know where she was and she panicked, a dark sweep of anxiety and fear washing over her in a haze of black and red. Before the fear could overwhelm her, she brought herself to calmness—just as Lainey had taught her—and the jittery confusion fled. Her breathing slowed and her heartbeat did as well. She felt proud of herself. The bad dreams had almost stopped, and she hadn’t had a real panic attack since the night she’d been with Jax at the restaurant. Lainey had really helped.

Baby I can’t help it
Keep me drowning
In your love
I keep drowning
In your love
Baby I can’t help it
Can’t help it no, no

But the man beside her had helped even more. Nadine turned her head and looked at Jax’s chiseled profile in the darkness.

He was extraordinary. That’s the only word she could think to describe him. Patient and kind, he’d insisted she see Lainey, then he’d gone on to help her even more. Now they were lovers, and in her heart, Nadine acknowledged she wanted to go beyond that. She could see him as the father of the children she’d always longed for, as the man who mowed the yard inside the picket fence. Refusing to allow any negative thoughts to destroy the growing image, she let herself play with it for a little while longer. He’d go with her to visit Aunt Raylene, he’d attend all the hospital events with her, they’d go shopping and to the movies and out to eat. They’d be a couple. They’d be a family.

Easing slowly from beneath his arm, Nadine rose from the bed and grabbed the shirt Jax had been wearing. She slipped into him and stared down at him, telling herself she was nuts for letting the fantasy build. She couldn’t stop, though. As his chest rose and fell, she stared at him with longing. Was there any way this relationship could work? Or was she being ridiculous?

She padded through the darkness of his cottage and into the kitchen. She’d left on the light above the cook top. The dim illumination served to build the shadows more than anything else, but with it as her guide, she opened the refrigerator and saw the casserole, still tempting even though it was cold. Suddenly she was ravenous. She reached into the oval dish and picked out a shrimp. Just as she stuck it into her mouth, a noise sounded behind her. Her hand at her lips, she turned.

“Am I going to have to arrest you for burglary?” Jax stood at the doorway to the kitchen, his huge form filling the entry as he spoke. “I believe that dish was made for two—and here you are snitching the shrimp out of it.”

She grinned and swallowed, putting on a mock expression of guilt. “I guess you caught me.” Reaching over, she snagged another shrimp and held it out to him. “If I share, would you go easy on me?”

He took one step into the kitchen then took the shrimp and tossed it into his mouth. “My God, that’s wonderful,” he said as he chewed. “Can we have it for breakfast?”

Chorus
‘Cause every time I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I’m swept away by love
Baby I can’t help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

“Why not eat it right now?” she countered playfully. “We could call it a midnight snack.”

He acted as if he were considering her offer, then slowly he shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’ve got something better in mind.”

Before she could answer, he took another step and whisked her into his arms. They didn’t even make it to the bedroom this time.