Darkness had fell hours ago and curfew had passed along with it, but one student was still awake. Although it was summer rain pounded heavily against the windows and a sharp wind blew outside but in the fire room shadows flicked in the dim glow of the fire, curled up on one of the couches was Catori her leg curled up close to her her silver gaze flickering in the dim light as music played quietly in the background. It was peaceful, for one the girl felt some what content it was peaceful for once, though she still had the familiar worry in the back of her mind that if anything went wrong she could kill hundreds of sleeping students but her mind was almost constantly on that thought, that's why she spent so little time in the school, mainly out training in forest or trying to gain scraps of money by doing work in the town but she had been even less successful then normal, which meant she had eaten very little recently but that was nothing new to Catori, especially not these days, she was use to her stomach feeling empty and her throat dry.

Her voice was soft as she half sung half whispered along with Iris, she didn't know much about music but she loved it, and she didn't have a particularly bad voice either. It wasn't a usual singing voice, not because she was out of tune or anything like that but her voice held a much more haunting note. Not that she had ever sung in front of anyone before being the shy withdrawn girl she was, but her singing voice suited her well, it was in a word unusual, much like the girl it belonged to. Sometimes she wished she wasn't so withdrawn from everyone else, well not just sometimes but nearly every minute of everyday, what she wouldn't have done just to be normal or at least have some chance to have a normal live, but truth be told Catori couldn't see that in her destiny as far as she could see her destiny was a much lonelier one.

A small sigh escaped her lips as she gazed out into the rain listening to the rhythmic drops as they hit the window her voice still singing softly along with music assuming no one else would be up at this late an hour.

[[Song = Iris by Goo Goo Doll's ^.^]]

It was dark in the entire school and no one was awake anymore. The daylight had been gone for hours already and it was night outside of the windows. As it seemed everyone at this school was asleep. Well everyone except of Dorian. A deep sigh escaped his lips when he turned around in his bed for the fifth hundred time. He didn’t know why he couldn’t sleep this night but something kept him awake and as it seemed it wasn’t likely that he’d fall asleep in the next few minutes or even hours. Looking out of the window he stared at the raindrops that made their way down the glass, mixing up with other drops. This sight was somehow consoling but he was so restless that he didn’t even find comfort in watching the rain. For a few minutes Dorian just sat there in his bed and listened to the noises of the night but then he got up and decided that he’d go for a stroll in the school.

He actually didn’t know if it was forbidden to be around the school grounds at this late hour but it wasn’t like he cared. Most of the time Dorian was very shy and would try to avoid every trouble but sometimes (and this night was one of those rare occasions) his rebellious side would come out and he’d do something completely unusual. For a moment he stopped in his tracks thinking about the fact that he was about to go out in the school with only his pyjamas on but considering the fact that his pjs consisted of a normal white T-shirt and some sports trousers he shrugged away the thought. Not as if anyone would see him, right?
At first he didn’t know where he was going, his feet just walked in the next best direction and Dorian didn’t pay much attention to where they were leading him but when he stood in front of a door all of a sudden he came to an abrupt halt. As it seemed his feet had led him to the fire room, which actually was no surprise since he was some sort of “fire boy” and was automatically drawn to fire, no matter where it was, but what really surprised him was that he heard a voice in the room. This voice was female and definitely beautiful, singing along with one of his favourite songs.

At first he didn’t want to interrupt the singing but he was already there and he’d be lying when he’d say that he wasn’t curious about the person singing. So he took one deep breath before he placed his hand on the doorknob and then entered the room, staring at the person that was sitting on the sofa. He knew the girl, it was Catori! Hell! Again they were running into each other… It was like destiny had some funny kind of humour because every time when he accidentally ran into a person at this school it was the girl. He didn’t really have a lot of contact to other students but he liked Catori and even though he didn’t see her often, they still had some sort of connection. A shy smile formed on his lips when he saw her sitting there, singing and looking out of the window… but he didn’t dare to interrupt her and besides it seemed like his feet decided that they’d stay there glued to the floor. Being shy definitely was a burden sometimes….

Catori loved the rain, she always had, everything seemed much calmer in the rain and everywhere seemed much emptier, not the awkward empty she was use to where everyone had disappeared because of her but instead the kind of empty where it was just because...Not for a reason or because of someone. It was a similar reason she could be found at night, even though by the rules she should have been in bed and had been pulled aside for it a couple of time by some of the more ridged teachers but truth be told most didn't care as long as she was quiet. Its wasn't that she didn't like day time as such it was more so that she was much more at home during the night, in the daylight she felt every flaw, every hint of her differences where highlighted by the sun at night though it was much easier to keep to herself. Still though it didn't make her any less shy or any more confident around others, it just meant she was calmer when by herself.

Although the door opened and another entered the room Catori remained oblivious her head turned away from the door and to the window and her ears focused only on the music and the quiet beat of the rain. If she had realised someone was even close to the room she would have shut up in a second, instead though she carried on singing, not realising that anyone, let alone Dorian was in the room, one of the people she had been trying to avoid, not because she wanted to. Hell avoiding him was the last thing she wanted, she just knew it was safer that way, she didn't want to put him in any more danger then she had already, after all if she hurt him she would never forgive herself. Truth be told she didn't want to put any one in danger. Pulling the sleeves of her dark blue sweater over her hands she reached a hand up to brush her hair from her eyes, as for once, she was actually wearing it down.

As the music stopped though her hand froze as for the first time she caught the sound of another's breath, if it hadn't been for the short pause between this song and the next she probably wouldn't have noticed. Her eyes shone slightly silver in the dim firelight as she whipped her gaze round a slight look of panic mixed with embarrassment glinting in her gaze as she met Dorian's, though only for a second or two before it quickly turned to the floor, her cheeks now suitably pinker as she tugged nervously on her sleeves, a little more then embarrassed. “I-I didn't think a-any-one would st-ill be awake.” She said her voice quiet as the next song clicked on, Adam's Song. “So how much of me murdering a perfectly good song did you actually hear?” She whispered with a small wince her gaze still firmly glued to the floor and her cheeks still fairly pink.

Obviously Catori didn’t notice that he was in the room. This comforted him but also made him feel awkward. It was good that she hadn’t seen him yet because she kept on singing but he was also worried that once she turned around she’d recognize him and they’d both be embarrassed like hell. Right after the thought had occurred in his mind the girl actually turned around and saw him. For a short moment she looked straight into his eyes some sort of shock and panic in them but then she turned her gaze towards the ground, her cheeks getting more and more pink with every second. It was more than obvious that this entire situation was completely embarrassing for her but truth be told Dorian could also feel the heat in his own cheeks. It was like he had interrupted some very personal moment…

“I’m… I’m sorry. Like umm really really sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you. I mean… I just thought I’d stroll around in the school … and and.. my feet well I don’t know why but I somehow… landed here.” He ended lamely, feeling like the idiot he most definitely was. How come he never managed to get out a straight sentence when he was nervous and with a girl? Dorian took a deep breath and let out a sigh before he answered her question. He really wasn’t keen on the idea of sounding even more like a total fool. “I heard about half the song… but you’re really good. I mean you can sing. I liked to listen to you.” Dorian said, hoping that Catori wouldn’t get even more embarrassed than she already was. Every time when he was with the girl he felt pretty stupid but at the same time he enjoyed her company. She wasn’t just beautiful, she also had a lot in common with him; no matter how different their lives were they still both had this huge fear that they’d hurt the people around them.

“Do you mind if I sit down here?” Dorian asked, hoping that she’d say yes. He didn’t talk to her for ages and now that he finally ran into her again he realized how much he wanted to talk to the girl. It wasn’t like he never thought about her… He thought about Catori a lot, but it was only now that he realized how much he longed for a proper conversation with her. It was like when you played in the water the entire day without noticing how hungry and tired you are until you get out of it and take a little rest. He wanted to take a little rest of his life and just talk to her, because he knew that he needed it and because he was aware of the fact that he probably wouldn’t see her for a while again. This thought made him somehow sad and he couldn’t help it but he was surprised about this sudden mixture of feelings… It felt like some hurricane was working in his mind and he didn’t even know where it had come from and if it would go away again.

Catori's hands nervously played with a strand of hair, it wasn't so much it was a personal moment, more so in her mind she couldn't sing, saying that though in her mind she was good at little, but that's just how she was. Her confidence had been knocked so many times that these days it was virtually none existent. Though she was kind of happy he had come to this room and stumbled upon her, he was a nice guy he had already helped her out so much and they had only met twice, after all if he hadn't found her that day in the snow god knows what could have happened to her and the first time they had met, stupidly she had ended up twisting her ankle and it had been his first day but he had still helped her up to her dorm. Not only that but he made her feel more normal somehow, not like she was some creepy dangerous mistake, not like how nearly every other person in this place made her feel.

Turning her gaze upwards she brushed the left side of her hair behind her ear a hint of a smile on her lips as asked if he could sit down, “Of course I don't mind.” She said shifting to the side slightly so he could fit on the couch, “And you don't need to apologize, it just I know I don't have a very good singing voice, even if you are too nice to admit it,” She said a warm smile on her face thinking that was the only reasonable explanation as to why he didn't just tell her how rubbish she actually was, well in her mind at least. “So no one has really ever heard me before. I guess I should have really been paying more attention.” She said a soft sigh escaping her lips trying hard not to turn her gaze back to the floor as she did so often. She wasn't use to actually talking to people just because but she liked Dorian so wanted to try at least to have some sort of conversation with him, which meant trying to keep her gaze off some random spot on the floor for at least two minutes.

She couldn't help but wonder just why he was up this late, not many decided to take a stroll at this time of night, nor was it the safest thing in the world to do most up at this time where Vampires, Demons or something more along that line and of course herself, but she tended to stay out of their way, they treated her even worse then the mortals because she was a half-breed. “If you don't mind me asking what keeps you up this late?” She asked curiously.

Catori had started to play with her hair which was a sign of how uncomfortable she felt with him around and for an instance Dorian thought that he’d better go but then he realized that he didn’t want to go and so he stayed in the room with her. He always felt uncomfortable when he was around other people and he never managed to actually talk with some of them because he just had the urge rather to run away than to get into a conversation. He couldn’t help it but he felt like he was some threat to mankind and he actually was, it still surprised him that there didn’t happen anything bad over the last few months at school. Well anyway it was a fact that the only person that made him feel nearly human was Catori and so he definitely wasn’t about to go and leave her there alone. Besides he couldn’t help it but he had the slight feeling that the girl also wanted to talk to him.

When Catori smiled and shifted to the side, Dorian sighed inwardly and placed himself next to her. The couch wasn’t that huge but they both still had enough place to sit there together. Looking out of the window he heard what the girl said about her voice and turned around to her, looking straight into her eyes without even noticing. “You do have a great singing voice! I really mean it.” He said completely convinced, feeling his cheeks flush slightly when he noticed that he was looking directly at her. His gaze fell towards the ground and he tried his best to get the colour out of his cheeks. “So what are you going to do with me? Since I’m the first one… umm human being that ever heard you sing? Are you going to kill me?” Dorian asked joking, trying to get Catori’s attention into another direction than his red cheeks. It was easier to joke than to face her directly like he’d done before.

It was only logical that the girl asked him about the reason why he couldn’t sleep. Nearly everyone at school didn’t have any problem with going to bed. Well except of the vampires and werewolves and whatever other creatures of the night lived on the school grounds. He never really thought about these other creatures because he knew that once he started he wouldn’t be able to stop and so he just took it as it was and tried not to cross their path at night. “I guess I just couldn’t sleep. I really tried but it won’t work. I’m just having some sort of bad insomnia… well some bad insomnia that lasts for years already.” He added biting his lower lip. Truth be told he exactly knew what kept him up that late at night and it wasn’t really a topic he was keen on talking about. How could you sleep at night when you knew that you took the lives of the ones you loved? It was impossible… “What keeps you up?” Dorian asked, finally loosening his gaze from the floor to look at Catori.

As Dorian sat of the couch next to her she let a slight smile creep onto her lips, it was a pretty small couch, but there was enough room for both of them without squashing up. She pulled on leg up back on the sofa resting her chin on her knee, it wasn't usual for her to sit like this, it was a sort of paranoia thing it helped to hide her body shape, it was also why she often stood with her arms wrapped around her waist. It was just another part of her unconfident, self conscious nature but for some reason around Dorian she felt even more self conscious, caring what he thought of her and how he viewed her, becoming even more aware of every flaw, every imperfection and every mistake she made. Still though she liked talking to him even if she did feel an even bigger idiot then normal half the time.

As his gaze flicked directly into her's, as he spoke a slight colour creeping onto his cheeks as his gaze fell to the floor a small smile still hanging on her lips. She almost wished she could have believed him but that would have been admitting to herself that she wasn't completely useless at everything she did, which for her was more then extremely difficulty. “Thanks.” She said even if she couldn't believe him it was still a nice gesture. As he asked what she was going to do to him since he was the first one that had ever heard her sing she couldn't help but let a soft laugh escape her lips, though she did wish he would turn his gaze upwards slightly, but she wasn't really one to talk, even now she was trying hard to keep her gaze off the floor or on the window. “Now I can't tell you that can I, it would take the surprised away.” She said with an hint of play-fullness in her voice, something very very usual for a girl who half the time couldn't bring herself to even talk to someone.

As he said he just couldn't sleep, she didn't entirely believe him but she wasn't about to pressure him, it wasn't her place to pry, she understood that he more then likely had a very complicated past, she knew vaguely about it. In truth it was a similar thing that kept her awake at night, it wasn't just night, every time she shut her eyes she could see her brothers face distorted in pain as he lay dying, she could feel the hands of the 'doctors' dragging her away, she could see the blinding wall's of the asylum, the cries of the other patients, she could feel the electricity coursing through her body as the 'doctors' tested on her and the elf who had given his life to her. She pulled her leg slightly closer as the memories flooded her mind her hand gripping tighter, “Nightmares.” She said sadly with a slight sigh, “After a while it just gets easier not to sleep at all.” She said turning her gaze towards the window to hide the sadness in her eyes.

Dorian was looking out of the window merely recognizing that Catori had shifted into a more comfortable position, resting her head on her knee. It was still raining… There was so much water on the outside and it remembered him of the times when he was wandering around Europe, searching for something he didn’t even know. He was escaping his life back then and he even tried to escape himself but it was impossible to do so. Every time when it was raining outside he had to think about this time, the pain and the confusion he had gone through. There was a black hole in his heart and it was growing with every day that passed. Rain was soothing but it also remembered him…

The small thanks from Catori brought him back to the presence and a slight smile formed on his lips while he raised an eye brow, she was actually accepting his compliment? That was something he really had to get used to. Dorian could remember that every time when he had said something positive about the girl she would refuse to accept it and keep telling him that it was nothing great. Well probably she had changed the way see thought about herself? At least he couldn’t think of any other reason why she would take it as it was.

As she said her next words, his sapphire blue eyes looked up from the ground and his gaze came to a rest on her face. “Well I guess you’re right with that. I just hope I get a little warning before my young life comes to a sudden end. There are a few things a boy has to experience before he dies, you know….” he replied some smirk tugging on the corners of his lips. Was he actually kinda flirting there? The same moment he recognized what he’d just said his gaze fell back on the floor, the pink returning into his cheeks again.
He was thankful when their talk came to another topic and Catori answered his question. “I guess you’re right, but on the other hand … Well I guess it’s worse to think about the things that are in your nightmares than to experience them while dreaming… I mean thinking too much about it can … also hurt you in some ways. Besides I’ve heard the rumour that lack of sleep makes you go crazy, which would explain why I am the way I am.” Dorian added smiling, knowing that there was quite a lot of self-irony swinging with his words.

As Dorian raised his eyebrow a slight smile forming on the boy's lips she managed to tug her lips up into some-sort of a smile, she did truly wish she could believe what he said, maybe then she would feel so utterly useless her gaze still locked on the window. It didn't help either that the last person who had said she was worth anything had died because of her. It didn't help much that people with her powers where rare these days, any magical creature she had met or anyone who knew anything about the spirit world treated her like some kind of prophet, the girl who was going to revive the linage of true Sealer's, not the poxy little humans who thought they could control spirit but being who actually could and who could enter the realm of death and still survive. Deep down she knew she could never live up to those expectations, she was weak, useless and in a word, scared. She always had been, ever since her brother had told her what was expected of her, she was scared of failing, scared of letting everyone down, she was scared of so much to make a list of everything would take a lifetime, but she was never allowed to just be scared so like so much else she just pushed her fears as far back as she could.

As he said there are a few things a boy has to experience before he dies she flicked her gaze to him momentarily a slight giggle escaping her lips before flicking her gaze back to the window leaning back slightly on the chair thought half elsewhere as she spoke, “Oh don't worry I'm not going to kill you, I like you too much for that, however I can't promise some of my 'friends' won't pay you a visit.” She said a slight smirk on her lips flicking her gaze slightly to the side to meet his briefly again. Truthfully though she would never be able to shut her senses down enough to kill anyone, she had enough guilt on her shoulders weighting her down, some days the weight she already carried seemed too great for her so any more and she would just break.

“Your probably right about the lack of sleep thing, I can't see it being all that healthy...” she said with a small sigh still clutching onto her knee, “...Still though maybe I deserve it, maybe it's punishment. Either way though I just can't face the nightmares, never had been able to.” She said with a sort of shrug, well the best she could crunched up like she was. “When I'm awake I can block them out, I can train or try to earn some money for food, they never truly go away but half the time I'm too exhausted or hungry to notice but when I'm asleep all that's there are the nightmares.” She said a soft sigh escaping her lips, wondering if he would understand or just think her weird like nearly every other person did.

Catori returned his smile and if he wouldn’t have already smiled he’d have done it the instant he saw the short smile on her lips. The girl never really smiled, at least not the sort of “the sun is rising” smile you always heard about, but still even if it was just little he always liked it when she did it. For Dorian this small laughing was worth more than a full laugh because it meant that she truly and actually had to smile even though the world was Sh*tty and everything that was going on was crazy. Maybe it was weird that he thought like that but for people that had seen the pain, anger and sadness on this godforsaken place called earth it made all the difference. It meant that you still could find something beautiful in all this mess and it was exactly that what cheered him up right now. For some people it was just a short smile but for him it was the thing that actually saved his day.

For a moment or two she had giggled and looked directly into his face. As it seemed she got his little joke and he was glad that she didn’t mind it. “Is that supposed to sound comforting?” He joked, laughing lightly. “I guess if I have to die you’ll have to do that all by yourself. You know when I go to the other place I want to see a dark angel before I get there and I guess you’re the only one that would do that job properly. So yeah.. guess you’re screwed.” Dorian added giving her one of the few real smiles he was able to give. He was really daring tonight but he hadn’t seen the girl for ages and every time when he saw her he somehow acted different than he usually did. It was something about Catori that made him feel comfortable. Sure he still was shy as hell at least most of the time but he also knew that he could joke around her and that she wouldn’t be angry at him if he did. At least he hoped so; he was really pushing it tonight… hopefully not too far…

Their talk got back to one of the more serious topics and Dorian watched Catori carefully, noticing that she somehow felt uncomfortable when she talked about sleeping. Her body language told him enough to know that he was right with his thoughts. When Catori told him how she thought about her nightmares, he looked at her his gaze softening at her words. He didn’t exactly know what she had been through but it must have been pretty hard and he knew that she still had to fight against it every day. It was nearly the same with him; they had some sort of connection that was almost strange. “I know what you mean,” he simply said softly touching her shoulder. Dorian just hoped that he didn’t cross some line there but at this moment she looked so unhappy and frail that he just couldn’t help it, he had to try to comfort her in some way. “I don’t think that anyone deserves to be pushed to the limits… maybe sometimes we’re too harsh to ourselves… whatever happened in our lives, I still think that there was a reason… I have to believe that there was a reason… or I’d go mental… maybe I already am. All that I know is that I’m a monster…no one that’s sane could live with the knowledge I have…” Dorian had whispered the words, shocked that he’d actually said them out loud. What would Catori think of him now? That was the most honest confession he’d ever made in the presence of somebody else and he couldn’t take it back now that it was said…. Averting his sad gaze to the ground he noticed that his hand was still placed on the girls shoulder and he took it away softly.

The thing Catori had never been able to understand since coming to this school was why some people had got to live such normal lives and after they came out of this they would be able to return to their normal lives, when she came out of all this she would be leaving with exactly what she had come with, though perhaps an even bleaker out look then before. At least she had hope when she had first came here but these days sometimes things just got too hard for her too keep hoping someday things might change. Unfortunately today was one of these days. She also couldn't help but think Dorian had got a raw deal, he was such a nice guy, if had been normal he probably would have had an extremely good life, to be honest she was still slightly surprised that even here he wasn't one of the more popular students after all to her he had been nothing but kind, even on his first day when he had helped her back to her dorm he must have been so nervous and confused when she had stumbled and screwed up her ankle but he had still helped her when he couldn't help but think most of the other students would have just left her, even if he was shy she was still surprised that he wasn't more popular plus she had to admit he was very good looking.

As he spoke once more a light laugh escaping his lips she turned her grey gaze to him, it was good to hear him laugh she couldn't help but feel that like her it was something that he didn't do enough. As he spoke she gave a light soft laugh, “Oh Angel's aren't all that great, rather full of themselves really.” She said pulling a slight face, as bad as angels where Demons where worse, always looking for a fight. “Guess I'll just have to keep you alive then, plus I suppose I owe you for saving me so many times.” She spoke keeping her gaze on his for a moment longer before turning it back to the window, vaguely noticing the song switching in the background to one of her favourite songs Slide another one by the Goo Goo Doll's, she guessed it was the little things she missed about being normal, such as knowing that she would never have enough money to to normal stuff like going to a concert or getting dressed up to go out with friends a small sigh escaping her lips as they moved in time with the words.

As he spoke his hand gently touching her shoulder she turned her gaze back to him, it had been so long she couldn't even remember that anyone had tried to comfort her, probably about three years ago when she had first come here, her old friend here Vincent, but that been a long long time ago in retrospect and a lot had happened since then and she hadn't seen him for a long time either. As he stopped speaking his hand moving gently from her shoulder a soft sigh escaped her lips as she moved her gaze onto the floor her long dark hair covering her eyes. “I hope there is a reason but sometimes it just gets to the point where I can't help but wonder is it really worth whatever the reason is...And your right no one deserves to be pushed to the limit but some of us have got to for survival, for everyday things like getting enough money to buy what ever scraps of food we can.” Truth be told she was scared as hell to leave this place, she had no family, no friends, nothing she knew where she would end up exactly where she had come from. The street. She could feel her hands start to tremble slightly the more she thought about it she tightened her hand on her leg to try and hide it. “And if your insane then so am I.” She said trying to lighten the mood slightly but her hand still shaking and still hiding her eyes. “But your not a monster and if you are your the kindness one I've ever met.” She said her voice completely sincere as she turned her gaze sidewards slightly strands of hair still covering her gaze, her hands still shaking slightly unable to get the thought from her head.

Now that he was sitting in the room with Catori he couldn’t help but remember the first day they had met. He’d just started school and the first thing he got to see was a beautiful girl that fell down right in front of him and nearly broke her ankle. He still wasn’t quite sure weather she really broke it or if it was just hurt but like he found out later Catori was some sort of half-elf and her wounds would heal faster than those of normal people. With a slight shiver he remembered the second time when he’d found her in the cold. He really thought that he’d lose her there.. She was so cold and shivered in his arms. It was a wonder that she’d survived it. It was strange but ever since he had set a foot in this school he’d always accidentally met the girl. Every time when she was in trouble he’d somehow been there to help her… well and to kind of protect her of harm. Dorian was able to keep away of all the other students at the school but he never managed to stay out of Catori’s way. This was strange but it was also good or he wouldn’t have any friend at this place.

As it seemed Catori also remembered there last meetings, because when she looked at him she came to talk about the other times they had met. “Touche, if anyone knows how angels act then it’s definitely you. I just have to agree there.” He replied a little bit playfully, smirking lightly. It wasn’t just the fact that he thought she was some kind of angel it was also the fact that he had heard that she sort of could see and talk with paranormal things, like for instance ghosts. Not that anyone of the students ever talked to him much, but he was good at listening and there were a lot of rumours going around in the school. He didn’t even want to know what people were talking about behind his back, but sometimes he got to hear some of the stuff and it always made him sad to hear what they actually thought about him. It wasn’t that he cared about what others said; it was just that it hurt even more when others could see the demon inside of you.

His face blushed when she told him that she owed him for saving her life. “You don’t owe me anything; I just seem to have a weakness when it comes to saving you,” he said trying to joke but the moment the words came out of his mouth he wasn’t quite sure if he was really only joking. It was also the truth somehow. Realizing this, some sort of panic spread in his body and he couldn’t help but he was shaking a little. He cared for Catori!! The realization hit him so hard that he couldn’t breathe for a moment. When did that happen? He’d just seen her a few times and he already cared for her. He couldn’t worry about her, he also shouldn’t. He was dangerous and whenever he cared about a person it ended with their sudden death…. He couldn’t allow himself to feel anything for anybody. It was wrong… He’d have to get out of here before he was able to hurt her!

His inner demons were fighting in his mind and he was pretty close to standing up and walking out of the room, but then he looked at the girl and everything that he’d thought about before vanished, only leaving him concerned about Catori. She was looking at the ground while she spoke, her long black hair covering her face. Something about the way she looked like and what she said to him touched him. So deeply that he almost started to cry. He could feel her pain, it was his as well. If anyone understood him then it was the girl sitting right next to him. “I know…,” he barely managed to say the words. He noticed that her hands trembled. The girl tried to hide it but he still was able to see it. Just a few moments ago he’d nearly been out of the door but now that he saw her like that he couldn’t leave her. Dorian would never forgive himself if he left her alone like that. He instinctively placed one of his hands on hers, trying to stop her trembling. With the other hand he touched her chin softly, forcing her to look in his face. “Thank you,” he said squeezing the hand on her knee slightly. “You’re not insane, you’ve just had a harsh life.” His blue gaze locked with hers and for a moment nothing seemed to be like it had been before, but then he got aware of what he was doing and he blushed, averting his gaze to the ground, his hand letting go of her chin. What was he doing? He was going mental, that was for sure….

Catori couldn't help but wonder how late it was, not that it mattered much, she hadn't had a normal nights sleep, well, since she had first started seeing spirits, when she had been about four. When she had still had a home, family and a life to look forward too. Sure her parents had fought, but they where both upset, her mother had just lost their second child after all and they where both still quite young, but never in a million years could she have guessed in less then a year she would be out on the streets. At worse when she told her parents what she saw she thought that they would call her stupid, maybe say she was making things up but when she actually told them after the smack that had knocked her to the floor she honestly feared for her life. So she had done all she could think of and ran. Even so she was only small and even after the first day she had only made it halfway across town, they could have caught up with her easily but they didn't hadn't even tried. All that she could come up with was maybe they hadn't tried to catch her because she wasn't worth it, that was part of the reason she couldn't see why Dorian had gone out of his way to help her, both times he could have just left her, anyone else would have. Saying that he wasn't just anyone else...In truth he was like no one else she had met.

As he said he just had to agree with her on the angel comment she gave a small smile tugged at her lips she assumed he meant cause of what line her powers specialised in, she knew her powers where important, she knew she was a rarity. Truthfully though, sometimes she hated her powers. She knew they where half the reason she was avoided like the plague by half the students at this school and even by some of the teachers. She had been so nervous that when she told Dorian, although she didn't tell him the full extent of her powers, she had still been so nervous that he would want nothing more to do with her, even though they tried to avoid each other, but that was for a different reason. Catori knew that it was safer that way, after all two unpredictable people together could never be a good mix. It by no means meant she wanted to avoid him though, so many times had she considered going to his dorm just to talk to him but had always ended up knowing it was better off if she didn't. No matter how much she wanted.

As he replied to her owing him she couldn't help but notice a second after he spoke his breathing went slightly uneven, even stopping for a moment, concern furrowing her brow. He looked...panicky. Like he just wanted to run out of the room. She wanted to do something to help, make sure he was okay but she didn't know what. She hated not being able to help those she cared about...Wait had she just classed Dorian as someone she had cared about? She knew she was fond of him and enjoyed his company, but care about him? This meant staying away from him was going to be a hell of a lot harder.

Only a few seconds had passed since she had looked at the ground to hide her face but it felt like hours, thoughts just swirling round her head, the rain still tapping on the window, the music still playing in the background, the fire still softly crackling, she knew not all that much time had passed since Dorian had come into the room but it felt like hours. Not in a bad way though, more so in a comfortable way, the way she imagined how normal people would talk to friends and how they could talk about so much in so little time or how some much could happen in so little time. Still though she knew that all too soon this meeting would end, other students would come into the Den and then they probably wouldn't see each other again for a while. Then it would be just her again. She heard two words barely escape his lips, two simply words, that she truthfully never expected to hear from anyone in reference to just about anything she said. She felt his hand rest on top of hers, a lump rising in her throat the trembling in her hand quelling slightly. As his other hand gently touched her chin she felt her breathing grow slightly quieter then normal. As he thanked her squeezing her hand lightly she felt her breath catch in her throat for a second...After he spoke their gaze stayed locked for a short moment before turning his head to the ground. Her mind slightly muddled, a lump still in her throat as she spoke, “Why...why are you thanking me?” She spoke her voice quiet and soft, “Then your not insane either maybe a little harsh on yourself.” She said realising how hypocritical she was being only after she spoke but kind of hoping he wouldn't pick up on it. “And I should be the one thanking you, you've already done so much to help me and you probably don't even realised.” She said softly turning her gaze shyly to the window a slight flush on her cheeks.

It was still raining outside and therefore he didn’t have any idea of how long he was with Catori already. Maybe they should try to get some sleep, but maybe they should just sit there and talk on. Just keep on talking until the clouds faded away and the first sunray entered through the windows. It was nice to think that it could be this way and he was very tempted to be here. Even if they didn’t say anything at all he still was in the presence of the girl and this soothed him. It also remembered him; it remembered him of the bad times but also of the good ones when he was with his parents and his brother. The days before his life changed over night and nothing was like it had been before. It was the time before he was brought to the orphanage and before he met Ana. He’d almost forgotten how it was to talk to someone. How long had it been since he stopped to trust into others and even into himself? When his brother lived they used to sneak out in the garden at night and played and talked for hours, but that was all long gone. There was nothing left of this time. Nothing that remembered him of the peaceful life he once led. No sign of his former existence except of the ashes of the lives he’d taken. Lives too shortly lived…

Catori smiled at his comment concerning angels and he wondered if she was thinking in the same direction like he’d been thinking. Sometimes he’d really pay a lot of money just to know what people around him were thinking. Yet he thought that it was a blessing he couldn’t. He seriously wasn’t keen on finding out more about what people thought about him. His ears already heard enough and the things people thought weren’t even filtered. You usually thought first before you said something. When it all only happened in your head, well then you had no guarantee for what people would really think. He just hoped that Catori couldn’t read his thoughts, because then he’d be screwed like hell. Considering that he couldn’t stop thinking about his past and the fact that he enjoyed her company way more than it was decent for a guy like him…Dorian had had a hard deal staying away of her dorm, or even staying away of her when he saw her walking somewhere on the school grounds. This didn’t happen often, to be honest it happened only twice, because she usually always was away but sometimes he’d eventually get a glimpse at her figure walking out of the school.

The thoughts that were running through his mind after he’d said the words made it hard to focus on anything. He hadn’t realized how much he liked the girl. Not until yet. He couldn’t let this happen. It was just too dangerous for her. She didn’t even have an idea of how dangerous it would be for her to simply have a friendship with him. Leave out the other things he thought about… Hell since when did his thoughts drift in this direction? Why hadn’t he been aware of this all? He bit his lips nervously, while he tried to gain back his calm. Dorian really tried not to freak out because this would end up as bad as everything he imagined right now. However, when his gaze fell on Catori his mind suddenly came to an abrupt halt and everything he wanted to do was to try to help her. He’d have to think about all the other things after he’d comforted her. At this moment she needed him as a friend and not as a possible threat and he’d do his best to be that friend for her.

He couldn’t help it but had to look up at her words, some sad smile forming on his lips. She actually asked him why he thanked her? There were so many reasons that he couldn’t even put it into words, but nevertheless he tried to explain it to her. “I’m thanking you because … you’re the first one to treat me like a human being. You… understand me…,” Sadness spread in his body when he said the last words. Dorian knew that she was only able to understand him because she felt the same way and it was sad that she did. In some way he wished that she wouldn’t understand him as good as she did.
“Probably I’m harsh on myself, but I guess you’re the same as me,” he replied some shy smile around his lips. Truth be told they both weren’t angels and they both thought that they didn’t deserve anything good in their lives. As she spoke her next words, he raised an eye brow some surprised expression on his face. “I think I didn’t do anything to help you…. I just can’t do anything to help you…” Dorian replied while he stood up and walked over to one of the windows. He didn’t want her to see his eyes. “Listen… I … I just can’t be your friend… I’m dangerous.” His hand turned into a fist, his nails pushing into his palm. He was angry at himself and he was so confused but whatever was going on here, he had to end it somehow. He couldn’t let her get that close to him. Hell he even cared about her. “I don’t want to hurt you….” There was a flicker of red in his eyes when he spoke the words. A sign that he was getting too emotional… also a sign that he should walk out of the room as soon as possible before he started to actually hurt her. There wasn’t much he could do against his powers except of trying to calm down and so Dorian just stood in front of the window, closing his eyes while he took some deep breath. His hands shaking at the effort of controlling his ability before it got out of hand.

Catori started to play nervously with a stray strand of hair chewing on her bottom lip, this was one of the few times she was glad that her Guardian wasn't with her, for one he would have murdered her by now and two she would probably look more then weird to Dorian getting a lecture off a spirit wolf he couldn't even see. See that was half of the problem with here powers now day's, part of why they caused so much trouble, people didn't believe in things like spirits and elves any more. Most had lost the ability too see them and those that could thought they where some kind of prodigy and often ended up pissing off the wrong spirit and getting themselves killed. So now days people associated with the afterlife where shunned, it had happened to her, it had happened to her 'brother' as well. His story had been similar to her's, though his parents had died at an early age so it had been his grandparents he had been living with when his 'gift' kicked in. In the end he had run away too. In the Shaman world though he had been a prodigy the only one to have a guardian so young, who in the end he had given to Catori as she had never had her own, just another reason she thought herself her a failure, it was pretty unheard of that a Shaman hadn't found the spirit they where meant to be bonded with by Catori's age but still had a borrowed one.

Catori for one didn't like the word angels, not how it got used these day's anyway. Not in the description of divine beings with pure wings who where meant to help the down trodden and heal the ill. No real angels where nothing like that. Real angel's where self-centred, they had great powers if they wanted they could turn even the most ruined life around with only a flick of their hand, they could give hope with just a glance but they where too involved in their petty fight against the demon's for any of it, instead they had all but abandoned their true roles and had left this world to its own devices. To Catori angel's where kind selfless people, people who didn't judge until they got to know a person, who would help even their worst enemy. Unfortunately there where too few people like that in the world, people these days where too scared of the unknown and people who tried normally got shunned for it, or in her brothers case shot...He honestly would have helped anyone. He tried to help anyone. Because of it he had been killed. Because of her.

Catori just couldn't understand it as he spoke, why should she be thanked for treating him like a human being? He was one, sure he had powers, sure he was a little different but they all where at this school, if they couldn't even treat each other normally then how where they going to get the outside world to treat them normally. If he had been a horrible person she would have treat him just like any other horrible person, like she had before admittedly it had got flute broken, which is why she now used a sword and got her pretty badly beaten by a vampire but she still didn't see why she should treat people here differently from in the outside world. If someone in the outside world had been as kind and genuine to her as Dorian then she would do just about anything they asked. Though she could understand why she wasn't treated like a human, she wasn't one. Not any-more at least. Now she was only half human so perhaps she only deserved to be treated like half a human. Though as he said 'You… understand me…' She could hear the sadness in his voice a sadness that pierced her, she hated seeing him sad, he just didn't deserve it. As he spoke again a shy smile on his lips she couldn't wipe the worry from her face.

Catori couldn't help but be unsurprised as he raised an eye brow some surprised on his face, she had fully expected him not too realise just how much he had done for her, still though worry lingered etched on her face as he spoke. As he stood up it only increased her worry as she bit down on her lip. As he said he couldn't be his friend he was just too dangerous she had to use every ounce of will left in her not to let tear start streaming down her face. It may have seemed pathetic to some, especially since she tired to avoid Dorian most of the time, but it didn't mean he meant nothing too her. He meant a lot too her. Another thing she couldn't get around was whether he meant couldn't or didn't want too, it was just she had been rejected by so many people and she still had a hard time believing that he actually wanted anything too do with her in her mind didn't seemed just as logical as couldn't. As she flicked her eyes downwards she caught sight of his clenched fists, she had done it enough times herself to know what he was doing and she couldn't bear the though of him hurting himself. Standing up she lightly touched his hand to try to get his attention, “Dorian please don't...” She said her voice thick with sadness and worry, her eyes focused firmly on the floor glistening lightly. “...If you don't...if you just want to..go I'll understand...” She spoke pulling her hand back curling it in a loose fist not quite able to say if you don't want to be friends. “And just to let you know I'm not scared of you and I'm a lot harder to hurt then you think...Even so just so you know you've helped me more then you could ever realise, I mean you saved my life but even just talking to you...” She said with a sad smile, her voice still thick with worry and sadness she just couldn't wipe from her voice. She turned around so her back was facing his, head hung low as she shuffled her foot quickly to hide the single dark drop on the carpet quickly reaching up and wiping her cheek.

The girl was playing with her hair and this was a sign that she was nervous. Maybe as nervous as him? Probably she also thought about the same things he did. If she did it was only natural that she got that nervous… Dorian didn’t know how to handle the situation. He once knew how it worked, how he could talk to people normally, but this had been so long ago and he’d been a little kid at that time. He was way older now and he couldn’t even remember how to have a normal conversation or even how you kept it going. Maybe he was the worst company anyone could get when they wanted to talk, but then again he was the only company Catori had right now. At the moment however it seemed like they both were hanging after their own thoughts. For a while none of them spoke a single word, they were together in the room but in their thoughts they both were far away.

She seemed to be worried when he told her why he’d thanked her and he couldn’t quite understand why she would worry about him. There was no reason to worry about him. No one did, well maybe his foster parents but they were far away at home and he knew that even they were scared of him sometimes. It had hurt to see the fear in their eyes when they’d found out what happened to Ana and his former family. Dorian knew that they loved him but they also feared him and how could you stay with the people you loved, knowing that they were scared of you? It hurt to see it in their eyes… He knew that they tried everything possible to help him and it was the thing that actually made him to go to the school. His foster parents had so much faith in him and he didn’t want to destroy it… even though he had to admit that he hadn’t learned anything new since he was here. He was just one of the countless students and he wasn’t keen on getting any attention so it was sort of hard to learn anything new…It was better to be here though. At least he was isolated from the people he loved and he wasn’t able to hurt them.

People he loved… The thought was spinning through his mind while he tried to focus again. He was in the den and he could feel the fire even though it was so far away. His entire body had started to turn warmer and he still had his eyes closed concentrating on his powers with all the force he was able to. Catori was in this room, no matter how emotional he was right now; he just couldn’t give into the fire. Not when the girl was around. She was a friend… actually more than that or he wouldn’t have to fight down the flame that had started to burn inside of him ever since they had started to talk on a more personal level. This was the problem, he liked her more than a friend and now he had to end that friendship… He just couldn’t. He’d tried by telling her and he hoped so hard that she’d simply take it and wouldn’t say anything but then he suddenly felt a cold hand on his.

“Dorian please don’t…” He turned around at the sound of her voice, his red eyes looking at the girl. She sounded so worried and her gaze was locked at the ground. Did she really have tears in her eyes? He could see them glistening in the soft light… He’d hurt her… It was the last thing of all the things he wanted to do but even now that he was worrying about her he still could feel his powers press to the surface. They’d destroy them both… Catori let go of his arm and his hot skin missed the cold the instant she’d pulled away. She’d turned away, apparently not able to face him. At the moment he couldn’t even face himself. He hated himself for what he did to her. He didn’t want to hurt her… but he didn’t really have a choice. Getting close to her would hurt her and backing away would do the same thing. It wasn’t fair… It just wasn’t fair, but at least she’d be alive when he avoided her company. It was cruel…but it was the only way.

He felt a stitch in his heart when she spoke up again and it was the moment when her words trailed off that he just wasn’t able to hold the façade anymore. Dorian knew that it would be hard but he never expected it to be like that… he’d hurt her so much, he wanted to take it back and as he placed his hand on her shoulder to turn her around he knew that it was probably the biggest mistake he’d ever made but he just couldn’t keep himself from doing so. Dorian wanted to take away the pain he’d caused… He just wanted to see that little smile of her once again. He bowed down, so that he could catch her gaze, his now red eyes looking directly into hers. “Look at me… I can hurt you. I’m bad… just being close to you makes this come out… I can’t control it… even less when I’m with you. I don’t want to cause you pain… but I just can’t control it….” He was at a loss of words, closing his eyes so she couldn’t see the tears that wanted to break out. “I want to be friends with you… so terribly that I just can’t control myself anymore…” He whispered looking down on the ground, averting his red gaze. He didn’t want her to see him like that… He just couldn’t bear it; he was trying so hard to keep his powers shut down that he started to shiver slightly, the heat more and more radiating from his body. There was no way he’d lose control now…

The thing was Catori was nearly always nervous, people had never been her strong point...well technically that wasn't true, they had been a long long time ago, when she had been normal, when she had been younger she had been fine round people. She had even loved being the centre of attention but these days, she couldn't even stand going to town for all the people. Even if she had her hair down hiding her ears it was like they could still sense she wasn't quite right, wasn't one of them. Before she had been changed, when she had just been a Shaman it hadn't been as bad but then she had been weaker as well, less dangerous, sure she had still been a danger but not so much as she was now. After all Elves where legendary for a reason, though her magic was nothing compared to what full blooded elves magic was it was still pretty impressive, not that she thought so of course as far as she was concerned she was pathetic and a failure at just about everything, but she had thought that for many years though...

Though for all the lack of self esteem Catori had she was a stubborn girl, it got her into a lot of problems thought that had been what had got her into the trouble that day when she had been out in the snow, she shouldn't have stayed out nearly that long in damp and so little clothing. Jarack had kept telling her that, but she had needed money to get some food and maybe a hot drink, plus she had made a promise, which she always kept to if she made them. It had ended with her half dead in the snow though, if not for her elven blood she probably would have been completely dead by the time Dorian had found her, she still had no idea how long she had been asleep for that day but she did know she was half frozen before she fell asleep. She gave a small shudder remembering that day, she was always cold, had been ever since she had found her powers but that day she could feel the cold on every inch of her body. What she hadn't told Dorian though was the next day she had been out in the snow again. That was the problem with her life, it wasn't things like that likely to kill her, if anything she was going to die sooner from exhaustion or starvation. Being what she was made her surprisingly resilient to the elements, after all elves where meant to be the master of the elements and although she was no master her magic kind of had a mind of its own to compensate for her uselessness.

She could hear her own breathing start to grow uneven trying to steady it slightly. She couldn't let him see her like this, she couldn't let any more tears fall, she could let any more hints that she was anything but fine...That was part of the problem though she hadn't been fine for a long time, normally she could hide it pretty well but tonight she was having so much trouble. It was like she had bottled up everything as much as it would and now there was no where left to hide anything. Still though she had to try...for his sake, after all she was pretty sure he wouldn't want to see this she had to try no matter how much it hurt her later. In her mind she didn't matter, she never did yet another reason as to why she was so reckless, she just didn't care what happened to herself. Even if this whole thing screwed her up even more she didn't care she just didn't want Dorian to be upset...She closed her eyes for a moment taking a deep breath to gather herself trying to even out her breathing, trying to get the tears out of her eyes as hard as she tried though it wasn't working. It had always worked before, why wasn't it working. Maybe she had just got in too deep this time.

She felt his hand on her shoulder turning her round to face him, her head sinking slightly lower before bowing down to catch her gaze, his normally deep blue gaze a bright red, the thing he wasn't realising was just how hard it was to hurt her, well sure he could hurt her, now every inch of her was drowning in a vast mixture of things but he couldn't hurt her in the way he was worried about, sure if he punched her in the face or something like that, then he could physically hurt her but that was about the only way, but she had a feeling he wouldn't believe her if she told him...she desperately wanted him to know that he couldn't just hurt her it wasn't. A hint of desperation entered eyes as he closed his eyes, he looked so sad, she just wanted to help, she just wanted to be able to do something she could feel the heat radiating from his body as his gaze fell to the floor, she had noticed when he had carried her to his dorm that his body temperature was warmer then a normal humans, but she was always so cold and especially that day she had been welcome for the extra warmth.

Slightly shakily and unsurely she raised a hand to his cheek lifting his red gaze to meet her's, noticing that his was glistening too, she noticed he was shaking too, though she had already guessed this couldn't be easy for either of them. “Your not bad...you can say it all you want...I just can't believe you.” She said her voice barley even audible, she dropped her hand from his cheek her gaze dropping along with it a soft sigh escaped her lips as she rolled her fists slightly, the problem was there was only one way she could show him just how resilient she actually was. She moved over too the fire place, her form still hunched slightly, her eyes still half filled with tears, she crouched down rubbing her hands together watching the flames dance. Before Dorian could stop her she pushed up her left sleeve and stuck her arm in the flames, quickly pulling it out her hand still engulfed in flames but in-between the flames and her arm lay a thin purple aura which engulfed the flames putting them out leaving her arm unscathed. “You can't hurt me Dorian...Not in the way your thinking anyway...I'm not human...That was the only reason I was still alive that day you found me in the snow...” She muttered her voice still thick with sadness and worry as she sat on the floor, that was the only problem with her magic having a mind of its own, it made her light-headed and unable to stand for a while. “...But if you still want to go I understand...” She said pulling down her sleeve, her eyes glistening more so as she spoke that last line.

He couldn’t understand why Catori thought of herself as a failure. He’d noticed how she thought about herself on the first day they’d met and he still couldn’t quite comprehend why she had such a low self esteem. Sure he didn’t know all about the world and the people and creatures that lived in it, but as far as he was concerned she was something special even in her own rows. For the thousand time in his existence ever since he knew the girl he asked himself what had happened to make her feel that way. Maybe one day they’d get to the point where they trusted each other enough to explain their stories, but maybe they wouldn’t even get that far. It was nearly impossible to have a friendship together and you could only trust when you built the trust on something. Considering that they wouldn’t see each other for a long time again there would never be anything close to trust. Besides them both seemed to be very complicated and rather shy people. Not really the best premise to have confidence into anyone.

On the other hand he knew that she must have some faith into him somehow. Dorian didn’t know how he deserved it but when he’d found her in the snow she let him carry her and didn’t say anything against it. Probably she was too weak to say anything, but he still assumed that she could have said something against his help. He doubted that she’d have come far with being that stubborn but she had had the choice and she chose to trust him. No one ever chose to trust him; it just was something you didn’t do with fire people. They were incalculable because the ability they had was unpredictable. It was easier to control ice or water, even earth and wind seemed to be easier to handle than the power he called his own. He’d never met any person that would have said that the ability of fire would be a blessing. Rather the contrary, no one ever believed that it did something good…

Right now his powers seemed to make everything even harder than it would have been. Normal people could get emotional and sort out things when they talked normally with each other, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t even able to concentrate on anything. All he felt was the flame that wanted to make its way out of his body. Dorian just couldn’t think anymore, the more he was around Catori the more his confusion took over and with it the fire that longed to burn down everything that was in its way. It took all his strength to control himself and talk to the girl at the same time. He really wasn’t sure how long he could take that before he lost it but he tried his best to push against the burning wall, averting his gaze to the ground. He needed to look somewhere else or he’d explode sooner or later.

Through the midst of his thoughts he suddenly felt something cold on his cheek, something that made him look up at Catori. It took him a few moments to find back, to realize that it was nothing else but the girls’ hand that had softly forced him to look at her. Why couldn’t she believe him that he was bad? He knew that he was a monster. Hell he was about to blow up the entire school right now, how couldn’t she see that? Tears formed in his eyes and he tried his best to keep them inside. If he started to cry now then everything would be over… Her cold hand dropped when she walked away of him, getting closer to the fire place. For a moment or two he was relieved that she’d apparently decided to get some distance between them, but when he got aware of what she was up to his eyes widened in shock. “No Catori, don’t…!!!” The fire inside him roared at the sudden shock, sending a wave of heat through his body that made his palms burn.

His heart stopped to beat for a moment, his eyes watching the purple aura that had built around the girls arm. All he could think about was the fact that she wasn’t hurt. Thank god she wasn’t hurt…
Dorian sank down on his knees, completely exhausted. His red gaze fell on his palms, staring at the flames that had built up flickering lightly. He knew that if he lost it now everything in the room would burn, at least he was sitting on the stone floor at the moment. That would give him a little bit more time to get back to his senses. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his power willing it back into his body. Tears ran down his cheeks, evaporating on his hot skin. It took all his strenght and effort to force down the fire that had spread inside of him, but he somehow managed ending up as a complete mess on the cold floor. His eyes were back to blue and his breath was going strong when he was able to speak again. “I always… wondered how you… sur..survived … that cold.” Dorian stuttered, shivering lightly. “I’m s… sorry but … I can’t… move …. even an… inch…” He murmured some weak smile on his face before he finally dropped on the floor, feeling the cold ground on his back. There was no energy left in him, but even if there would have been some he wouldn’t have gone away… not after all they’d just been through….

One of the things about Catori she didn't do things by half's, if she trained she trained till she was exhausted, if she got in a fight she would fight with every fibre in her body and if she trusted someone she trusted them completely no ifs, in her mind it was as simple as that and she trusted Dorian. Sure she knew his powers could be destructive, but he wasn't, it wasn't like he used his powers to purposely hurt people he just got a little out of control sometimes but who didn't? Any one with emotions couldn't control them all of the time and being a teenager it was even harder, but half the time it seemed like other students and even some teachers expected them not to show them especially not to let them get out of control. It was just an impossible expectation. Still though from observation Catori couldn't help but notice that perhaps the students where even harsher on themselves, she knew she was and she was sure Dorian was as well, after all how could them expect themselves to keep everything bottled up all the time and stay alone all the time, still though even though Catori knew her expectations for herself where impossible to actually achieve some how she couldn't let go of them and every time she failed in them she still felt disappointed in herself.

She wondered what expectations she would have if she was normal...maybe finish school with some decent grades, go to university, get a job, someday get married and have kids. Well those where the things she would have liked to have anyway, if her life had been normal, and things she could never see herself having now. Every now and again she wondered what her life would have been like if she had been normally, if she still lived back in Italy, if her life had taken a completely different route. Would she have brothers and sisters? She knew she would have some sort of family that was for sure, even if it was broken it would have been more then she was left with now. Still though she guessed she wouldn't be her, not in the same way, she would have the same thoughts, the same personality and she would probably still have tanned skin, auburn hair and emerald green eyes, as oppose to her current appearance. She still didn't know why her appearance had changed, she could only guess.

Catori watched as Dorian sank to his knees his palms flickering lightly, she wanted to help him, she wanted to go over and do something but she was frozen to the spot, none of her limbs seemed to want to move all she could do was sit there and watch, as he closed his eyes tears falling but evaporating before they could hit the floor she felt something twinge painfully inside of her. She just wanted to do something...anything but as much as she willed her body to move all she could do was watch with watery eyes. How come this always seemed to happen at the worst time? Her body just seemed to freeze up, no matter how much she wanted to help or how much she willed her body too move she just couldn't. As he spoke he sounded so exhausted as he dropped to the floor her limbs seemed to finally unfreeze.

Standing as quickly as she could, despite the protest of her head, she grabbed a cushion from the couch and dropped to her knee's by his side, she lifted his head gently and placed the cushion underneath his head, if she had thought she had been strong enough she would have laid him on the couch but physically she was probably below average for her weight and height, but she wanted to help him as much as she could. “I-it's o-okay...don't a-apolo-gize.” She said her voice more then obviously worried, her hands shaking as she placed the back of her hand on his cheek, his skin was so warm. What if he needed a doctor? She was terrified of doctors, as he already knew from their first meeting and probably why he hadn't took her too one when he found her in the snow, but what if he needed one? If he did she would just have to take him. She wasn't going to let him get ill or worse because of her stupid fears. “Do you n-need a doc...A d-d-oc...A doctor?” She said having to force her self to say the word, she couldn't let a word get her so worked up, even though she did have to bite down on her lip to stop herself trembling more. “ What about a blanket? Or a drink?...” She said her voice still trembling with worry her eyes still glistening slightly, she honestly would do just about anything to help him at this point, after her brother had died whenever someone she cared for got hurt her mind tended to go to worse case scenario...

It happened again. All the time he’d been at the school he’d managed to keep his powers locked up, closed in a little box with his emotions, but now he’d failed. He didn’t cry when his foster parents left him at the school and he had chosen solitude instead of the masses of the people that ran around on the grounds. Everything just to avoid getting to the point he’d been right now. Sure once he already nearly managed to blow up the school. He couldn’t remember the girl quite well, everything he knew was that she’d had the ability of ice and she actually wasn’t the nicest girl he’d ever met. That was the reason why his emotions boiled over a few days after he’d entered the school but back then it had been easier to stop it. Well if you considered stopping your true nature that burned inside of you to be easy. It hadn’t been that bad back then though. Dorian had almost forgotten how exhausted and weak he was after he’d stopped himself.

That was the price he had to pay for his powers. It all seemed a little unfair. He was punished for keeping the control of his body and had to pay the price for something he didn’t even do. Maybe if he let go of the powers and let them do what they wanted he’d feel better afterwards but that was no option. He’d kill all of the people in this place like a supernova if he really gave into his ability. No he already had killed enough people; he didn’t want to add anyone new to the list. Self sacrifice seemed to be a better option than to hurt anyone else. Dorian was destroyed already; there wasn’t anything left that could make it even worse than it already was. It was almost funny if you thought about it. He was disappointed into himself because he had just saved a few lives… lives that actually wouldn’t even have been threatened when he wouldn’t have been around to put them in danger. His life was pretty messed up if you thought about it too long.

His life… was it over now? He couldn’t move anymore, leave alone the option to speak. Something was pulling him away of the room but he didn’t want to give into the feeling. He was so exhausted; it felt like he was drowning. Dorian was just able to hear his own heartbeat, the rhythm pulsing in his ears while he stared at the ceiling of the den. Before he could wonder where Catori had gone he felt some soft draft ere she sat down next to him, lifting his head gently to place it on a cushion. He had to smile at the worry in her voice as she spoke to him. She shouldn’t be that worried, he was okay. Well he actually wasn’t okay at all but there was no way he’d tell Catori any of that. She seemed to be worried enough. He closed his eyes when he felt her cold hand on his cheek. It felt way too good and it made him want to sleep, but he couldn’t sleep, not when the girl was so worried about him.

With all the the strength that was left in him he forced himself to talk to her. It would probably take minutes until he was halfway back to stand up leave alone the days he’d need to fully recover. The last time it had took 5 days until he felt normal again but he got the slight feeling that this time it would take longer. His feelings had been locked up way too long and of course this emotional outburst had taken more energy than the last time. “No… no doctor. I… guess it… wouldn’t help…. anyway… I j-just need time.” Dorian wanted to explain how it usually worked but he just wasn’t able to. Everything he got out of his mouth was a few words that seemed to be completely useless. He could just hope that Catori understood what he meant. If not she’d probably freak out completely. He knew that she didn’t like doctors and there was no need to have one around if he wasn’t able to help him anyway. What was the reason again why she didn’t like doctors? His thoughts got blurry again and it was hard to concentrate on simply staying in the room without drifting away.

No matter how bad he felt right now and how much every inch of his body hurt at her next words he just had to laugh. Well he would have had laughed if he’d been able to, so instead of the laugh he only smiled weakly. Why did she think that he needed a blanket? He was as hot as the desert and the girl thought about a blanket…. For some reason this amused him immensely. Probably he was just going insane. Not that it would surprise him if he did. “Catori…. you don’t… really think that … I need a blanket…do you?,” he managed to say a slight hint of amusement in his voice. It was amazing how easily he’d grown fond of her and it also scared him a little, but for now he wouldn’t be a threat for a few days. His powers had to recover and before he wasn’t fully recovered he was no threat for anyone around him. Of course that made him an easy pray for everyone that wanted to bully him but he’d just take the bruises as always. “Can … you do …me a favour?” He asked turning his head into the girls’ direction to look at her. He felt a little dizzy but he wanted to make sure that he got her attention. “Just… lie here… with … me for.. a while….,” Dorian hoped that she’d accept his offer and give him company. There was actually nothing he could do right now except of lying and talking.

Catori still wasn't thinking straight, her thoughts where muddled and panicked, her head was everywhere and going no where at the same time. It was rare she got this panicked but not completely unheard of, last time it had happened was when she had been going to visit her homeland with the elf, she had been attacked...or shot at or something along those lines, either way the wound was fatal. She could feel her mind growing darker, a horrible emptiness taking over every inch of her body and she had just wanted to give into it all and that would be the end...That had been the closest she had ever come to death but then the elf had sacrificed his life for her's by transferring his energy into her, apparently it was something all elves could do no matter how tainted their blood, there where two draw backs though the person gained not only life again but half the blood of the elf and the rules and laws that went along with it and for the other their was no hope of an afterlife, that was it. Just nothing. As along with their life they had to give up their right to a spirit. She still didn't understand why he had done that for her, she was nothing, he had given up everything for nothing. His wife, his kids, his family...She guessed she would never understand.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she tried to calm herself slightly, calm her mind but it didn't help at all, the same thoughts just kept running through her head and they all began with 'What if' and generally ended with a conclusion that just made her more worried. She couldn't handle it if something happened to him, he had been fine before he had tried to comfort her. Why couldn't she just keep things bottled up? Why couldn't she hide things better? She moved the hand resting on his cheek onto his forehead trying to cool him a little, her fist by the side of her curled up slightly. She hoped he wouldn't mind too much, he didn't seem to mind her hand on his cheek, but maybe he was annoyed at her. It wouldn't surprise her. He had every right to be after all, she just hoped he would try to move for a while. He needed to rest, even she could tell that, and she was certainly no medical professional. She guessed she was glad she was no medical professional as if she was like the only ones she had ever experienced then currently she would be taking running tests on the boy as he was weakened and couldn't fight back. Maybe seeing how many volts of electricity he could survive without passing out.

As he said no doctor she couldn't help but let a sigh of relief pass her lips but he defiantly still didn't seem fine, he could barely talk and certainly couldn't move. But she couldn't see what help a doctor would be from past experiences they only made things worse. Saying that she hadn't had the experience of a nice doctor, one that would actually help instead of torture and sedate her to 'keep her under control' as far as she was concerned all doctors where like the ones in the asylum. Unlawful, arrogant, sadistic and twisted people. For one she shouldn't have even been in there in the first place. Sure she was a little screwed up...well more then a little. But she was sane. She wasn't a threat to the public like they had claimed, she stayed away from the public, too scared and nervous to go near them half the time. She felt a small shudder creep down her spine thinking back.

As Dorian spoke again she snapped from her thoughts, a blanket? Had she really offered him a blanket? She couldn't think straight her mind was still all over the place, she winced slightly. “Sorry...I need to get my head straight.” She said a soft sigh escaping her lips. A blanket was the last thing he needed, her best bet would probably be to make the room as cold as possible, maybe open the window and shut off the fire...Her head lifted slightly as he asked if she could do him a favour turning his head, which she kind of wished he hadn't in his current state, he needed to just lie still. A small smile twinged at her lips as he asked her to just lie with him for a while. “Of course but first let me do two things.” Her voice soft as she spoke. In truth she would have liked nothing more then to just lie and talk, maybe under better circumstances where he wasn't so weak but at least he hadn't asked her too leave, not that she would have anyway, not until he was better.

Standing up she threw the water over the small fire in the corner, placing the bucket down she moved over to the window opening it as wide as it would open giving a small shiver as the nights air hit her pulling her sleeves further over her hands. At least it was a cold night that would be better for him right? “Hopefully that will help a little...” Her voice not sounding one hundred percent sure a note of worry still in there. Shifting slightly she laid on her side facing him using her arm to rest her head on a few strands of hair falling over her face. He still looked so weak she wished there was more she could do. “...You know I'm sorry for this mess don't you...” She said slightly nervously chewing on her bottom lip as in her mind she couldn't help but blame her self for not being able to hide her emotions better.

The girls hand went from his cheek to his forehead and he wondered if she tried to find out if he had a fever. It wasn’t likely that she’d be able to tell anything about that, considering that his body temperature was always way over the usual amount of those of human beings. He was no human being after all, at least not in the common sense. A deep sigh escaped the girls’ lips, showing him once more how worried she was about him. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had been that worried about him. It seemed to be ages ago that he’d actually had people around him that cared. He just hoped that she didn’t blame herself for the situation he was currently in. It didn’t have anything to do with her after all. Sure he had been way too emotional and this had caused him to end up like that but none of this all had been her fault. It was just his own stupidity that had brought him in this situation…

He’d actually trained even more over the last few months, always pushing himself to his limits so he wouldn’t be a threat for the others. Whenever he was lonely or frustrated he went for material arts to calm himself down. He’d started a few years ago because it had been fun back then but now it rather helped him to cope with his feelings. Thanks to the many years he’d worked on his technique he was pretty fit and would have been able to physically hurt everybody that got in his way, but he never used his skills against anyone. No matter how much he’d been bullied and hurt when he’d been on the streets he never fought back. In fact he’d rather chose death than to hurt anyone else. Some people might not understand it but for him the option to die was easier to take than to hurt or even kill somebody with his own hands. His constant training since he joined the school was also probably the only reason why he was still conscious and hadn’t passed out already.

When he replied to her question she seemed to be lost in her own thoughts, apologizing when she realized that she’d just offered him to give him a blanket. Again she made him smile a little. Catori probably thought that he was going to die every instant and he wasn’t really able to tell her that he’d be fine if he just got a decent amount of time to regenerate. In some way they both were thinking in completely different directions. The girl gave him a small smile as he asked her to lie on the ground with him. Now that he thought about it, it was probably some stupid suggestion. Catori was already cold enough and lying on the cold ground wouldn’t make it any better, he’d been dumb to ask her to give him company, but the truth was that he felt not only completely exhausted but also very alone. It was the first time in ages that he actually realized how lonely he’d been over the years. It was probably the wrong moment to think about such things but he still couldn’t keep his mind away of those thoughts.

He raised an eyebrow when she told him that she wanted to do two things, his gaze wandering towards her again. It took a lot of effort to get himself far enough to turn his head but since he was lying on the floor he didn’t have any other option to see what she was doing. Dorian watched Catori opening the windows, noticing that she pulled down her sleeves. She was obviously feeling cold and it was his entire fault. It definitely would be a bad idea if she lay down next to him on the ground. For him the cold was wonderful and he welcomed it with every fibre of his body but for the girl it was unpleasant. “Thank you…” he managed to get out of his mouth after the girl had returned to him, placing herself next to him on the floor. Her hair was falling in front of her eyes and once more he couldn’t help but had to notice how beautiful she was. “You don’t… have to be sorry… I mean… it’s my fault… I should know it … better,” he replied smiling mildly. “But… I think you… you shouldn’t lie here on the floor … with me. I can see … that you’re feeling c-cold.” Dorian said his blue gaze shortly falling on her long sleeves. “I was… stupid to ask you..,” he declared, trying to give her an apologetic smile that ended up in a grimace. God he really wasn’t just exhausted he also felt the pain in his entire body. He just wished that Catori wouldn’t notice any of this, or he’d make her even more upset than she already was. “You can… go to the …. sofa if you want… to. I don’t… mind.” He suggested, somehow managing to touch her hand with his, feeling how cold her skin felt against his.

Catori was always reasonably cold, to a certain degree at least, ever since her powers had kicked in she always had been. Even in the heat of summer she wore long sleeve tops and her usual baggy trousers, it also didn't help that she didn't have a wide choice of clothing, certainly not any particularly nice clothing, most of it quite scruffy with holes in the bottom. The current baggy jeans she was wearing where torn to shreds from being dragged across the floor so much and over worn, and unlike most girls her age she only had two pairs of shoes. From what she had witnessed it seemed most girls had a large array of clothing and shoes, all for different occasions, Catori however had two pair of shoes, a pair of scruffy worn converse and a pair of knee high leather boots. She didn't mind though, it wasn't like she had anywhere nice to go to wear nice clothing even if she had any. She just wished she had a couple of thicker jackets for when she got exceptionally cold, her only one had been torn to shreds the night before Dorian had found her in the snow but she just didn't have the money to spare to buy a new one and she was too honest to steal one. Plus if she was going to steal anything she would have stole some food to eat but with her conscious already near breaking point she never had.

The thing was although she was admittedly cold, her head hurt a little and she was more then worried about Dorian, she was actually okay...Not perfect, but not as bad as she usually felt. She was just glad not too be alone for once, just to have someone to talk too, not just anyone but a friend. Someone she liked...maybe a little more then she should have. Even if they didn't talk, it was just nice to not be surrounded by strangers, to be with a familiar face. Still though she couldn't help but worry, what would happen after Dorian got strong enough to walk again and when they left this room, would they go back to attempting to avoid each other? Or would they be allow them selves to see each other a little more? She hoped the latter but knew the first option was safer on both parts, luckily Dorian hadn't experience her drow side overwhelming her yet, she did have a way to control it but it was something she doubted Dorian would do, the only way for her to snap out of it was for her to either fall unconscious, which could take days or for someone to knock her unconscious. Sure if the second happened her magic might go on the frizt a little but it would be a hell of a lot safer if she was unconscious. If she was unconscious she couldn't use a sword and she couldn't move to hurt anyone.

As he said this was his fault as he should know better she couldn't help but disagree, but guessed it was simply something they where going to have to disagree on. “I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.” She said with some sort of smile. As he said he shouldn't have asked her to lie on the floor with her, she thought she noticed a slight grimace cross his face, she could have been wrong but she was pretty sure it was a grimace. Her brow creased slightly in worry as she started chewing her lip once more. Maybe she was just seeing things because she was worried still though he seemed so exhausted and in so much pain she just wished she could do something. She felt his hand touch her's his skin warm, “I'd rather stay here, this way I'm closer if anything happens...Ever since my brother died I get kind of panicky and paranoid...”Her soft and kind of nervous as she spoke. ”...Plus I'll be cold either way...I nearly always am.” She said simply not really thinking much of it. It was an everyday thing for her, she wasn't use to it as such but she had learned to deal with it.

She couldn't help but get the thought from her head what would happen after they left this room, she had to ask him she just prayed it didn't end up hurting him more. After all if his powers set off again, she didn't even want to think about it as she didn't have a clue how his powers worked. “Dorian...” She said unsure her gaze falling to their hands still touching slightly. “...What happens when we leave this room?...Do we still try to avoid each other?...I mean I know its safer but..” A sigh escaping her lips unable to finish off her sentence words escaping her. Not completely sure she wanted to know the answer but knowing she had too. Truthfully not even really wanting to think about it but unable to stop herself.

Dorian had to laugh about her words, agreeing inwardly with what she’d said. It was true they both could only agree on disagreeing because if it came to their powers and whose fault it was, they both tended to take the blame on themselves. So if there were two people that felt responsible for something bad that had happened; it could only be that way. He guessed that it was pretty normal for both of them to feel awkward because of bad things that happened. They both had got used to being the “problem” and it was some sort of hard habit to get rid of once you accepted it. Nevertheless he was pretty sure that it was his entire fault but he decided not to say anything about that to Catori. He knew that she’d disagree. “I think that’s … fine with me.” He managed to say, giving her a short smile. He really should stop smiling because even that little gesture hurt, but if he didn’t smile the girl would be even more worried. So probably it was better to pretend he was okay than to actually show her how bad he felt.

At her next words he really had to grimace without being able to hide it. Her brother had died and as it seemed he’d done it in her arms. Oh god how horrible that must have been. No wonder that she was nearly freaking out right now… He didn’t know how old she had been when it happened but he guessed that it didn’t matter how old you were. When part of your family died it was always hard to take and losing her brother must have been very hard for Catori. Probably they’d been very close… He had been very close with his brother. They’d been like twins even though they actually were two years apart. João had been 10 years old in the night when Dorian had turned eight… such a young life and Dorian would never be able to find out if they’d still be that close. His brother would be eighteen years old now… he’d be in the right age to go to college, have a girlfriend. For a moment the feelings of “what if” overwhelmed him and he had to take a deep breath to calm down before he was able to answer.

“I’m okay… I mean… seriously… I’ll just be fine,” he said, trying to calm her a little. He was fully aware of the fact that it probably wouldn’t help but he had to try. Dorian really didn’t want to make her worry about him that much. “I’m… sorry about your brother,” he added his voice sounding sad and compassionate at the same time. The idea of Catori getting even colder when she stayed with him made him feel uncomfortable. Of course lying on the ground wasn’t all that comfortable for him as well but he could deal with hit. He was a fire boy after all, but Catori… she just looked so pale and frail. Like she’d catch pneumonia any time and he sure as hell wasn’t keen on the idea of her getting sick just because of him. “You could… I mean… you …I could… warm you up… you erm… would… only have to… well … umm you’d have … to lean on me… ” he stumbled over his own words, not able to put his thoughts into a sentence. She really would feel warmer when she leaned against him but at the same time that would be like cuddling and he couldn’t remember the last time anyone had cuddled with him. Only the thought of it made him so nervous that he blushed; some wild red on his cheeks. “Um… never mind,” he turned away to face the wall on the other side, trying to avoid her gaze. Dorian was feeling like a complete idiot at the moment and in his current state he couldn’t even walk away…

He listened to her, aware of the fact that he still held her hand in his. Dorian bit his lips as she spoke, turning his head back towards her. How did she manage to get him to look at her all the time? There had been something in her voice that had literally forced him to look at her. Usually he had no problem with avoiding eyes but in Catoris’ case he just couldn’t help it. She sighed not ending her sentence, making him smile a little. “I don’t know… I mean…. over the next few… days… I won’t be able to hurt anyone,” he replied, biting his lower lip because he knew he’d be completely defenceless if anyone of the students decided to bully him. “I…usually need ages… to get back to normal.” He said truthfully, grimacing a second time. “But… even then… I … wouldn’t be able to… to avoid you. I.. swear I really tried but… I don’t want… anymore.” Dorian couldn’t keep away of Catori. He’d tried over the last few months and he’d always ended up meeting her at random. As it seemed they just couldn’t avoid each other and besides he really didn’t want anymore. The girl was the only person at the school he really cared about and he was fed up of trying to keep away from her. It would only hurt him to do so and like he’d found out this night, it also hurt her… even though he couldn’t understand why she would like him. She’d just seen how horrible things could get when he wasn’t able to control himself and though she didn’t mind…

The thing was he hadn't even been Catori's real brother, not by blood at least, but when she had run away from home and her real family had abandoned her he was the one who had took care of her. He was the one who had made sure she had food to eat even on days when there wasn't enough for both of them he was the one who went without. He had done everything for her, everything her real family hadn't, that's why she called him her brother. In Catori's mind he had been more of a family to her then any one else, when her parents had found out she wasn't quite right they had made it quite clear that they wanted nothing more to do with her and she had only been about five then, maybe younger, she couldn't quite remember any more but when her brother had found out he hadn't battered an eyelid, it was only after she had found out he was a shaman as well. Still though it didn't change anything he had been all she had and the day she had lost him her heart had broke. She could still remember it perfectly. He had been shouting at her to run then there was just a deafening bang the next thing she knew he was on the floor covered in blood. She had been knelt by his side hugging him preying she would wake up and it was all just a bad dream, the doctors had dragged her off him, it was only a couple of days later after she had stopped crying that she had realised that his necklace was in her pocket and he had given her his guardian.

Even though he said he would be fine, even though he had said it a good three or four times now she still couldn't stop worrying. Not completely anyway. Until she thought he was completely back to normal and unhurt then she would still worry. Mind you she would probably still worry a little after that as well. She knew he wasn't the most popular guy in the school and she had heard the rumours that the others said. Not that she believed half of them and even if they where true they didn't change her opinion of him any, after all she also knew the rumours about her then went round and half of them where complete rubbish. Still though it didn't stop the others picking fights with her and she couldn't help but think it was probably the same with him. She knew some of the stronger students who had rumours about them where able to avoid fight but Catori wasn't one of the stronger students, she was merely average and truthfully she couldn't imagine Dorian fighting back even if the other students did push him around.

“You know I'm still going to worry right?” She said simply in reply, as he said he was sorry her eyes cast down slightly, “Its okay...It was a very long time ago...” She said her voice beginning to waver a little. It wasn't okay. It had never been okay and she doubted it ever would be. But she had been told she should be over it by now so these days she pretended it was and tried to avoid the subject at all costs for fear of people would find out she was lying. The last thing she needed was people thinking she was more pathetic then she already was. Though in her mind she couldn't see why it was seen as weak that she still missed her brother but then it was mainly the people who still had families and how could they understand what it was like. Her gaze flicked up as Dorian spoke again, his speech considerably more muddled this time it took her a couple of seconds to realize what he was suggesting, noticing the bright red on his cheeks, she couldn't help but let a smile tug on her lips, he really was incredibly sweet. She still couldn't understand why he cared at all but then he probably couldn't understand why she cared either. Still though she was a little apprehensive, he still seemed in so much pain, she didn't want to hurt him any more then he was. Shifting slightly closer to him she gently leant in on him he was so warm, she hadn't felt warm in ages, “If I'm too heavy I can move.” She said having to tilt her head upwards slightly to catch his gaze as he spoke.

“But what if the students try something...I mean that's if they try to pick fights with you...I don't know why they would...Still though...” She said nervously, “How long is ages?..” Her brow creased in worry once again she didn't want him getting hurt again. Not that there was a lot she could do, she wasn't the strongest student in the school. Sure she had the skill and speed but physically she wasn't strong and half the time she was so exhausted even her speed and skill suffered. However as he said he didn't want to avoid her any more she couldn't help but feel slightly relieved, she didn't want to avoid him any more either. “I swear I tried as well, you have no idea how many times I was tempted to come looking for you...” She said slightly shyly. She had honestly tried but she was just so tired of trying. Plus for some reason she still couldn't understand he seemed to enjoy her company and she defiantly enjoyed his.

“You know I'm still going to worry right?”, he wasn’t able to suppress the grin that formed on his face when she said those words. He knew that she wouldn’t stop worrying even though he’d tried so hard to make her feel better, but as it seemed nothing he said would change anything about her opinion. He’d told her that he was fine for the fourth time or so and she still didn’t accept it. Probably he looked worse than he felt, if that was even possible. He really felt like he’d just had a fight against a bus and the bus obviously won, but he also knew that this would pass. In about a week he’d be back where he’d started, being able to practice again. Well he hoped that it wouldn’t take longer than a week and he also hoped that he didn’t run into anyone that was looking for trouble. He still had to go to the classes and therefore couldn’t avoid everyone… Dorian would have to try to look better than he felt or he’d get in a lot of trouble over the next few days. He wasn’t really keen on the idea of getting in trouble since he always tried to stay away of it as good as possible, but in his current state he couldn’t really avoid it.

As they came to speak about her brother, she told him that it was okay but he noticed the slight note in her voice, knowing that it wasn’t okay at all. Whatever had happened to him, it still had a huge effect on her life, no matter if she tried to hide it or not. Dorian knew that she didn’t really want to talk about the subject and he understood it completely which was the reason why he didn’t say anything to it at all. Catori wasn’t keen on the idea of talking about the topic and he didn’t want to scare her away so it was the best to just drop the theme and let it rest where it was. The girl was already having a hard life, with memories of her past it definitely wouldn’t get better. In everyone’s life there were a few dark spots and it was best not to touch them until the people were ready to talk about it and decided to talk because they wanted to. They both had enough time to get to know each other, so there was no need to push anything.

Dorian had looked away when the girl had smiled, returning his gaze back to her in surprise when he noticed that she actually accepted his offer. Catori had shifted to the side, leaning a little bit closer into him and he couldn’t help but realized that he hadn’t been that close to anyone for a long time. The last girl he’d been as close as with Catori had been his girlfriend Ana. Wait why was he thinking about his former girlfriend in connection with Catori? Before he got the chance to think about it too closely, his heart made a sudden jump when the girl looked up to him, remembering him of things he’d thought he’d never feel again. He never thought that he’d be glad that he’d just had another emotional outburst that left him weak and powerless on the ground but right now he was more than just glad. If they’d be lying here under normal circumstances he’d already have burned down the entire school with everything that was in it. But now he was just exhausted and completely useless, something that would normally disturb him immensely but right now it seemed to be the best thing that had happened in years. He just hoped that he’d remember that moment when somebody added another few bruises to the ones he already had…

“Don’t… worry. It’s okay. As long as …you feel warm…,” he replied, smiling lightly. Truth be told at the moment he’d take a little bit of pain just to lie there with her, doing nothing at all. He knew that there would be people that would go after him over the next few days and as much as he hated it he also had got used to it as well. It was some evil but he dealt with it somehow. “There are always some that … pick a fight, but I don’t care… anymore. I’ll be… just fine.” He said not believing his own words but he hoped that at least Catori would believe them. There was really no point in worrying about him. He’d been in bad situations ever since he’d been able to think and he’d always survived them somehow. He’d just try to avoid everyone that crossed his way. Besides he wasn’t keen on the idea of getting the girl involved into this kind of problems. If she tried to help him she’d get hurt as well and there was no way he’d get her in trouble.

Another smile crossed his face when she asked him about his definition of ages, some concern swinging in her voice. “Well… erm… a few days…,” he answered vaguely, avoiding to look at her. Dorian didn’t want to lie but he got the slight idea that if he told her that he’d be weak for about a week, she’d reach another level of being worried. Some level he really didn’t want to get to know. No one had worried about him over the last few years and now that there was somebody that actually did, he wanted to keep her away of harm. It was somehow weird to think like that but it was also logical, at least it was for him. Her next words caused his heart to jump a second time. Seriously he was really glad that he was so powerless at the moment. It had its advantages to be defenceless and he actually started to appreciate them right now. “You… you wanted to see me?,” Dorian asked in utter confusion, not able to comprehend what she’d just said. Sure he’d done the same and kept looking for her when he was around the grounds but he never would have imagined that she’d do the same….It just seemed to be so unreal that anyone would watch out for him…

The thing with Catori was there was certain things that she didn't mind talking about and she was pretty open with but there where things she held close to her. Partly too scared to tell anyone, especially those close to her, for example the fact she had spent about a third of her life in an asylum and the other majority of it on the streets. Even the school didn't know fully about her past, apart from herself only her guardian knew the full details. The problem was she didn't trust strangers with details as destroying as some of her's could be in the wrong hands and once she grew close to someone and trusted them, like Dorian, she grew scared. She could guess that he knew she hadn't had the most normal life, but what if he didn't believe her? Part of the problem was she had never told anyone, so she had no indications on how he might react if she did tell him, she could only guess, but what if her guessed where wrong? What if he reacted in the opposite way? It was so rare that she actually grew close to someone she didn't want to lose them because of her past and she had grown especially fond of Dorian and she didn't want to screw that up.

The other thing was she couldn't remember the last time she had been this close to anyone, not for a long time at least. Not just physically but the last time she had felt this comfortable around someone. Normally around people she was panicky, even just in class she got so nervous half the time she didn't even end up going. Which admittedly had got her in trouble at first, but now she guessed the teachers just found it easier. Plus if she did go to classes every day for as long as she was meant too then she wouldn't have nearly enough time to get enough money to even eat, she struggled now as it was. Still though probably the most she had panicked around Dorian was on their first meeting when he had mentioned taking her to a doctor. Sure she had been a little nervous around him but not like she normally was and she had grown comfortable around him in a very short amount of time not too mention fond of him. She couldn't help but wonder what he thought of her. Which was pretty strange as normally she couldn't care less what people thought, the only reason she cared if she was thought of even weaker was because she didn't think she could handle any more fight, but around Dorian she had a bad habit of getting suddenly nervous about her appearance, about how her thought of her and saw her, which had never happened to her before.

As he said it was okay as long as she was warm a light pink crept on her cheeks casting her gaze down feeling suddenly shy, “Thank you..” She murmured however as he said there where always people who picked fights but he would be fine her gaze flicked up once more before a soft sigh escaped her lips. She knew he wouldn't let her help him if he did get into a fight. She knew better then most it wasn't fine trying to get pushed into a fight nearly everyday wasn't fine. It was the other half of the reason she wore long sleeved tops and trousers that covered her legs completely all the time, she had found that it they could see the bruises and scratches it only made things worse. “I know its not just fine...” She said quietly, “But you won't let me help you either way will you?...” She said mumbling slightly already knowing the answer but having to ask. What if one of the students got too vicious? She knew there where some pretty dangerous people at this place. What if he got seriously hurt? Or worse...She flicked her gaze up to him. “...Truthfully though, you will be okay won't you? After all what would I do without you to help me when I screw up?...” Some sort of smile on her lips trying to lighten it slightly but unable to hide the worry from her voice completely. Her worry only being reinforced as he said he wouldn't be better for a few days though she noticed the way he had avoided her gaze as well...

She shifted her head slightly her hair falling over her eyes ever so slightly, as he spoke his voice filled with confusion, she glanced up some confusion of her own in her eyes though hidden partially by her hair. “Of course...” She said simply, why wouldn't she want too go looking for him? He was one of the sweetest, kindest most caring people she had ever met, not too mention handsome, why on earth wouldn't she want to spent time with someone like that? What she couldn't understand was why someone like that would want to spend time with her...Hell she couldn't understand why anyone would want too spend time with her. It had just been little things though, like going out too do her work a little earlier hoping she might bump into him in the corridors or something, truthfully though she had thought about just going to his dorm too see him, but she had promised herself she would try to stay away from him to make sure she didn't hurt him...Which admittedly she was still worried about but she had been okay for a while now, plus she was worried she would drive herself half crazy if she tried to avoid him now. “...Why wouldn't I look for you? Your kind easy to talk to and one of the nicest people I've met...” She said her voice laced with confusion at why he was confused, her gaze still looking up at his, still half hidden by her hair.

She had blushed at his words and Dorian didn’t know if he’d said anything stupid or wrong. He’d actually meant it the way he’d said it. He wanted her to be warm, because he’d noticed that she was always feeling cold and she also always wore warm things, even when it was hot outside. Maybe it had to do with her powers or she was really just feeling cold. Even though he couldn’t really imagine how a person could feel cold when there were about 33 degrees outside in the sun. It was one of the mysterious things he still hadn’t figured out about Catori. Sometimes he wanted to screw all the good behaviour and just keep on going, talking about the topics they both avoided so well. It was hard to avoid them every time and he also wanted to get to know her better than he knew her already. In fact he barely knew her at all, because as it seemed the things they didn’t talk about made up some huge part of their lives. He knew that sooner or later he’d want to know everything about her and this scared him as much as it made him feel good.

Dorian knew there was no point in pushing things and he really didn’t want to make Catori uncomfortable. Besides he was fully aware that he also kept so many things hidden from her. He just couldn’t manage to talk about what had happened. He liked the girl more than she thought and it would be damn hard to tell her about his past… The last girl he’d held like that had ended up…. well… in hospital. He couldn’t even bring himself far enough to think about it longer than a few seconds. It still hurt to think about Ana… It had been his entire fault. His first kiss with his first girlfriend and he hadn’t been able to control his emotions. When Catori found out about this she’d probably start to avoid him no matter how she thought about him at the moment. This was something you couldn’t ignore… not if you were the person in which the guy that had burned his former girlfriend was interested in. And he had to face it… he really seriously was interested in the girl, so that basically meant that he was screwed…

She’d sighed at his words and this made him feel strange somehow. On the one hand he liked it that she cared about him, that somebody actually had started to like him enough to care about him, but on the other hand he didn’t like it that she was so worried. A few days ago everything he had to worry about had been his powers and the way he had to cope with them but now that he had started to like Catori and now that they didn’t want to avoid each other anymore it made thinks more complicated. If he got hurt and she wanted to help him she’d probably get hurt as well and this thought made him pretty nervous to tell the truth. “No… I won’t let you help me,” he answered in all honesty; some warmth in his voice that even reached his eyes. “I… don’t want you to get hurt. So that means … that you’ve to say away of me when I get hurt,” he added his sapphire gaze, locking with hers for a moment. He’d try to avoid getting in trouble when she was around but she probably wouldn’t be around to see it anyway. She was barely spending time on the school grounds so he thought that it would be easy for him not to get in a fight in front of her. He could only hope that he was right with this assumption. If not they’d be forced to find out how it would end for both of them.

“I’ll be okay… don’t worry,” he replied laughing about her comment about him being there when she screwed up. “You could try not to screw up things?,” he suggested playfully, shifting his body a little into her direction to touch her hand. He already felt a little better… at least he could talk halfway normal again and even though it hurt like hell to move, he still had been able to do so. Maybe in a few minutes he’d be able to drag himself towards the couch… “But no matter how often you’ll screw up, I’ll be there to help you out of it, okay?” Dorian said his voice sounding completely serious as he spoke. Catori was the first person he’d grown fond of in ages and he’d do his best to protect her of any harm that got in her way. He could only hope that he wouldn’t be the “harm” he was thinking about right now. This was something he definitely wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. For the next week he’d have no problem to stay in contact with her because he would be no threat whatsoever, but how would they keep the contact when he gained back his powers? This would make things way harder again…

He looked down at her, still some confusion playing on his face when she told him why she was looking for him. Dorian didn’t know if she was talking about him there. He couldn’t remember that anyone ever thought anything like that about him but as it seemed Catori only saw his good sides. Well that was because she just hadn’t found out about the real bad ones yet… “Erm.. thank you,” he said blushing slightly again. “It’s just… no one ever wanted to.. see me. You must be the first person ever… well except of my crazy foster parents. Only god knows why they like me…,” he replied trying to ease the situation a little. Truth be told he thought that a girl like Catori would have enough other options to get to know a guy. He couldn’t quite comprehend why she had decided to talk to him. There surely were other nice and cute guys on this school. “I’m… glad you were looking for me. I … did the same with you…” Dorian admitted his voice trailing off, when he brushed away the hair that was falling in her face, feeling the smooth strands on his fingers. He just couldn’t resist the urge to brush it away…She had such a gorgeous face and though she was always hiding it behind her hair…

Truth be told Catori didn't really know why she always felt cold, she could guess that it had to do with her powers as that was about the time it kicked in, but that was also about the time her family had started to break apart and her life had begun to change. It hadn't been as bad back then either, maybe just a little chill, but sometimes now she had problems stopping herself shivering but she had never been as bad as that day in the snow. It felt like every inch of her had been frozen in solid ice. Honestly she was surprised she had managed to keep walking for as long as she had, especially after her coat had been ripped and her cloths soaked, looking back at it she could see how stupid and lucky she had been. Still though it was nice to feel warm. Especially laying next to the boy, still though she couldn't help but be curious about him. She barely knew anything about him but equally she guessed he barley knew anything about her. Sometime she just wanted to tell him, explain to him why she was the way she was, why she got so panicky at times. Why she was terrified of doctors. Everything. Which scared her more then a little, she had never told these things to anyone else, not her old friends, not the school only her guardian knew everything about her. Plus what if he disappear like the few friends she had when she had first started the school...

Another thing that worried her was she had never thought about anyone in the same way she had thought about Dorian...She had a few friends and knew she thought of them differently, she hadn't been nearly as worried of what they thought of her and she defiantly wouldn't have laid like this with any of her old friends. The problem was she had never really had a proper boyfriend or relationship, she had once had someone who had called themselves her boyfriend but that had been a disaster. It was just after she had came out of the asylum, it had been another street kid, she hadn't been all that interested in him but she was so scared of being alone and he seemed like a nice person. God had she been wrong. She had to resist giving a slight shudder. She was just lucky Jarack could attack the living if need be other wise she might have come out of that with more then a black eye. After that she had took to staying away from people at any cost and it had stayed with her ever since. Most people she was okay with staying away from but with Dorian she wasn't which scared he a little as they had only known each other a short while, even if they had been through a lot in that short time...

As he started speaking again she tilted her head upwards slightly, she had already known the answer, partially because when it came to the next time she got into a fight, she wouldn't want him helping her. Luckily most of the fights she got into weren't on the grounds, plus they where normally after curfew when she was still up working either in the forest or in the town so it would be pretty easy to hide from him, plus she had become pretty good at avoiding getting marks on her face or neck, mainly using her arms as guards, plus admittedly having a spirit wolf as a guardian helped more then a little. “At least your honest...” She said with a soft sigh no she hadn't liked his answer in the slightest but at least he hadn't just fobbed her off. Though she couldn't promise if she ever saw him getting hurt she could just stay away. She couldn't just stand and watch him get hurt, not if there was something she could do. She knew he wasn't going to like her response much but he had been honest with her so it was only fair. “I can't promise that...” She said chewing her bottom lip. “...If I see you getting hurt I won't be able to just let it go and keep walking.” Her gaze cast down slightly.

A slight laugh escaped her lips as he said she could try not too screw up, oh if only things where that easy, she guessed a combination of stubbornness, almost constantly looking at the ground, exhaustion and going two or three days without food where just not a combination for success. She felt his hand touch hers again this time her heart going a little quicker even more so as he spoke. “I..I can handle the little screw up's, its just the big ones I might need help with.” She said stumbling over her words a little as she spoke, if he tried to help he with every screw up it would be impossible it was the big ones she really needed help with, someone just to stop her every now and again before things got too bad. As he spoke about his foster parents being the only other ones who wanted to see him a little bit of confusion flashed on her face, she still couldn't understand how someone like him was alone all the time and from what she could guess treated much like her. “Your foster parents sound like a good judge of character to me.” She said simply, she could guess from the odd things he had mentioned that he had done some bad stuff in the past because of his powers but she didn't think any less of him because of it. It wasn't his fault that his powers where unpredictable, plus it seemed like he beat himself up enough about it the last thing he needed was another person beating him up about it as well.

Catori felt her heart skip a beat all together as he said he had been looking for her as well his hand brushing the hair from her face unable to tear her eyes away from his gaze, “W-why w-her-e you looking f-or m-me?” She whispered barely managing to stutter out due to the lump that had formed in her throat moving her hand slightly more over his .

He couldn’t help it but that Catori lay next to him felt… well it felt good. Not only because she was so cold, but also in sense of it actually felt good to have someone close. He was still radiating so much heat and it definitely was good that this heat got to the girl. She needed it more than Dorian that was for sure. In some way it was almost funny. He had the heat and she needed it, it was only logical to give it to her, but he also felt protective. It was a feeling he hadn’t experienced before… He’d never been protective, not of anyone and most of all not of himself. There had been a time in which he didn’t care about anything on the world. He didn’t care where he was going; he didn’t care what he was doing or where he’d get his next food from. He’d been stumbling on the streets, only looking for the next place to sleep, keeping away of the cops and tramping through Europe with just a backpack. The problem was, he couldn’t even remember how it had been, at least not all to clear. There had been a black hole in his heart and he had barely any memory of what he’d done and how he’d been able to tramp for so long without getting caught. He’d seen the pain on the streets, the fear and sadness of the people but at this time he just hadn’t been able to comprehend it, even though he’d been one of them. A homeless without an aim or goal… truth be told he probably had been poorer than anyone of those people because there had been nothing left of him. He’d had empty eyes and an empty body. He had been nothing. It was like the time on the streets had been a dream and after half a year of emptiness he’d suddenly came back to life. More so he was pushed back into it by a civil police car that knew who he was… All he still remembered were the many faces of the homeless… the grim face of the street… and after that he’d realized that half a year had passed by and he didn’t even know how it had happened. It was time that was lost for him… some part of his youth he’d never get back… no matter how hard he tried to remember.

He smiled at her words, knowing that she wasn’t pleased with his answer. Truth be told he wished that he’d be able to lie to her but he just couldn’t. He’d always been a bad liar and so he’d decided to let it be and only told the truth. The truth was hard sometimes and also bitter but at least it was the truth. She probably didn’t like to hear it but it was better like that, wrong hopes had never been able to help anyone. As it seemed Catori lived by the same rules and it was his part now to be unhappy with the response he got from her. Dorian took in some deep breath when she told him that she couldn’t promise him to stay away when he got hurt. He’d actually already expected her to tell him something like that but he still hoped that when it came hard she’d just run away and save herself. There was no use in getting them both hurt and he knew that he’d survive it no matter what would happen. The good old problem with vermin, you just couldn’t get rid of it, no matter how hard you tried. Dorian bit his lip ere he replied to her words. “I know…It’s okay… I guess I’ll just try not to get in a fight?” he suggested, sending a short prayer towards heaven that they’d never meet when anything like that happened.

Catori had laughed at his words and his heart made a little jump of joy when he heard her laughter. Probably it was the first time he really actually heard her laugh, at least he couldn’t remember that he’d ever heard her laugh before. He only could remember her shy smile. The smile he’d grown fond of by now. “Big screw ups like umm… ending up in the snow nearly frozen to death?” He asked, joking lightly even though there was a slight serious note in his tone. When he thought back to the day he’d found her, chills ran up and down his spine. He’d really thought that she’d die on their way to the school, because she’d looked more like she was in the world of the dead than in the world of the living. It had scared him and he’d been very worried about her for a while…
He gave her a short smile when she told him that his foster parents seemed to be a good judge of character. They definitely were. He’d never met people like them and even though they knew everything about him, they still loved him with a passion he couldn’t quite understand…He was thankful that he had them and the more he thought about his parents the more he started to miss them… he also missed Lisboa… it was a beautiful city full of sun…

Catori still looked straight at him, asking him why he’d been looking for her. She seemed to be really confused, not even able to get out the words she wanted to say and it was only than when he understood why she had stumbled over her own sentence. He suddenly got aware of the fact that they not only were really close at the moment, but they also were looking straight in the other person’s eyes. If he’d been able to avert his gaze he’d have done it but he just couldn’t. He was frozen, not even able to move an inch. Not because he was still hurt but this time because his heart had stopped beating.
“Be… because I.. I.. like you and … and I.. I … had the.. urge.. to.. to see you… I… I… I like you.” He stuttered completely dumb struck, a short flash of red in his eyes before they turned completely blue again. Dorian wanted to look away of her but there was some force that made it impossible to do so. He could feel his heart beat so fast that he thought it would break out of his chest any time… they were just too close, for a moment he leaned into her getting slightly closer, but then he got aware of what he was up to do and stopped in the middle. He couldn’t do that… a picture of Ana flashed up in his mind…burned and hurt… he just couldn’t do it. It was wrong to even think about it…. and though he longed so much to touch her lips… he wasn’t only completely weak, he really was going mental as well…

Potential wise Catori had almost unlimited because of her blood, potentially she could have been one of the strongest at the school, the problem was though her life. Although she trained on a regular occasion by the time she normally got two minutes spare to train she was so exhausted it didn't really do any use except make her more exhausted and more hungry. She just didn't have the time to train, if she wasn't working she was in lessons, if she wasn't in lessons she was trying to catch a few hours of sleep, like she had been tonight. Unfortunately with sleep while she tried she often failed, the den being one of her favourite haunts on a night, she would often sit here until sun up then before the first students started to wake head back outside for the day. Sometimes though she wouldn't return to the school for a day or two, sometimes because of work, sometimes because she couldn't bare too. It had just been getting too her more and more lately everything about this school. The students who had been a success who could go and live a perfectly normal life, the ones who just looked for a fight where ever they turned. Some days she honestly just thought about not returning but if she left she would have to return back to the only place she really knew other then this school and she couldn't go back to there, not yet, she just wasn't strong enough mentally yet. She doubted she ever would be but she had no where else to go when she left here.

She couldn't help but wonder what his life was like before he came here, where he had come from, what his foster parents where like. It was good to know he had some sort of family who seemed to care for him but she could easily guess there had to be more to his life then what he had now. Something that had happened to make him the way he was, something too make him far too much like her for her liking. Something definitely to do with his powers and more then likely to do with him loosing control of them. She guessed she might find out one day, if he ever wanted to tell her.

If only not getting into a fight was that easy, she figured it would save them both a lot of bruises and scratches, unfortunately she didn't choose her fights her fights choose her. At least she nearly always had something to help her if she got in too far over her head, she guessed that was one benefit of being what she was she wasn't alone. She always had her guardian if she really needed him, still though it didn't take away from her loneliness the fact she always could call on Jarack if it came to it. Spirits and humans weren't the same in fact they couldn't be more different and although spirits where meant to be her speciality she couldn't stand it most of the times. She hated the fact most people ignored and where scared of her for something she hated and people did stupid things when they where scared. Most of the time which led to fighting. As she couldn't help but think Dorian knew all too well. After all she couldn't imagine fire being all that popular, fire was known for its destructive capability and when people saw something they where scared of they tried to get rid of whatever caused that fear. In this case her and more then likely Dorian. “If only it was that easy.” She said with a sad sort of smile on her lips.

She cringed slightly as he mentioned big screw ups for example nearly freezing to death. She had to admit that would definitely count as a big screw up. Even in her case that had been a bad one. “Yeah that would count as a major screw up. Anything along the lines of almost inducing a near death experience feel free to help.” She said grimacing slightly, the bad thing was with her that wasn't that all uncommon. Although she hadn't nearly killed her self for about a year before that situation she had certainly almost broken more then a couple of limbs a couple of times. In fact only a couple of days ago she had nearly broken her left arm, it was still pretty sore but nothing she wasn't use to. Pain was an everyday thing sometimes she ever welcomed it, it was better to feel pain then nothing at all sometimes. Maybe that was why she put herself through sure unrealistic trials. Still though now she was just glad not too be by herself, to be with someone she liked, well more then liked. To not have to worry for a little where her next meal was going to come from or if she was going to get in a fight when the sun rose. To just be able to talk and feel normal even if it was only for a short while.

As she looked at him she couldn't help but notice how close they had gotten and the fact their hands where still touching, her heart was thudding as rapid and heavy as ever in her chest. She couldn't tare her gaze away she knew she should, they where both getting far too deep, but she just couldn't his gaze just seemed to draw her in more as he spoke his voice stuttering his eyes flashing red for a short period. He leaned in slightly closer stopping so there was only and inch or two between them, she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks, her own breath beginning to shake slightly. God how she wanted to get rid of that gap, to feel his lips against hers but she couldn't rid herself of his eyes flashing red for that short second and what had happened last time his eyes had flashed red. The reason why he was on the floor and it hurt for him to even move. She couldn't put him through that again. Even if it did drive her mad thinking about it. Somehow she managed to tear her gaze away downwards her hand started trembling slightly still touching his. “I...you...hurt...s...orry.” She said unable to get her words out straight hoping he would some how manage to piece her words together to she couldn't let him get hurt like that again. Flicking her gaze up for a second her eyes still filled with longing before she cast them quickly down again.

Since he’d come to the school he’d figured out that his entire life seemed to be an endless pile of problems that would never solve. Every time when he was walking around the building he saw happy students, people that were content with their life and their powers. People that didn’t try to avoid anyone because they were afraid to hurt somebody around them. The more time he’d spent at the school the more he’d realized that he’d never be a part of it. His foster parents had sent him to this place in hope that there’d be other people like him and that somebody would be able to help him, but he wasn’t even close to that aim. In fact no one seemed to be able to help him… he was told that he’d just have to learn to control his powers. As if it would be that easy. If he ever learned anything in life then it was the fact that nothing was easy. Something like easy didn’t exist in his vocabulary… for the other students it was no problem. They simply lived… but Dorian? He walked around the school always feeling alone. Sure there had been nice people as well that actually had tried to accept him, but he just couldn’t be friends with them… once he started to like anyone his first reaction was to back away as fast as he could. Because if he liked someone it meant that the person already was in danger…

Like Catori was now… he couldn’t help it but he had to wonder if she had some sort of family as well, if someone existed that cared about the fact that she was talking to a potentional threat right now. Her brother had died, she had just told him before, but she also must have a father and a mother. He didn’t know if she had other siblings than the brother she’d mentioned but she most definitely had some parents, after all there had to be someone that gave her, her life. Did her parents care about her? Did they even know that she was at the school and had such powers? Maybe they also had died, like his parents. It was hard to tell… Dorian had spent more time with the girl than with anyone else in his life and though he didn’t know anything about her…There was still so much he wanted to know, he just hoped that he’d get the time to get to know her better even though that meant that he’d have to open up a little bit himself.

“If only it was that easy.” He noticed her sad smile as she spoke the words, knowing that she was completely right. It wasn’t easy at all to avoid the fights. If it would have gone after him he’d have a peaceful life. Well as peaceful as it could get when you were a threat to mankind… He never was looking for trouble. The trouble had some way to knock directly on his door, no matter what he did. He had been just a few days at the school when the first people had started to pick on him and rumours had spread like a fire in the entire building. You could say what you wanted but if there was something people and in particular teenagers, were good at, it was definitely the ability to destroy any social contact before you could even say “Hello”. On the other hand he hadn’t really put much effort to get involved in the school activities or anything like that. He preferred to be on his own and until yet it had worked just fine. At least most of the time, when he wasn’t ending up on the floor of some toilet again…and there were plenty of days he ended up on a toilet…

Dorian noticed how she cringed at his words about their last meeting and started to regret it immediately. He didn’t have the intention to hurt her with his words but judging by her reaction he’d just done it. His sarcasm was really some way to screw up things… “I’m sorry. I.. shouldn’t have said that,” he murmured averting his gaze. “I hope that you don’t have the intention to… well to get into near death experiences all too soon,” he added hoping that she’d be able to stay away from trouble for a while. At least as long as he needed to get healthy again, because in the state he was currently in he wouldn’t be of any use for her. Right now he wasn’t even able to sit up straight and he knew that the next days would be hell because every inch of his body would feel bruised. He wondered how he’d manage to get to class this morning… it sure as hell would be hard to walk down the stairs…

He’d stopped in his move, barely a few inches away of her lips. He’d been so close to losing it and he knew and had felt it… his eyes had turned red for an instant. Even though he barely had any energy left in his body, his powers still had come back for a short moment… this shouldn’t be possible. He’d never been that close to an outbreak right after he’d had one. What was wrong with him? When Catori turned away her gaze, he felt some stitch in his heart, his stomach twisting. He knew that it was wrong and he knew that he’d hurt her… probably there was the risk that he’d hurt himself as well this time, but he didn’t care what happened to him. What she tried to tell him was only logical, but right now he couldn’t think logic… he didn’t want to hurt her but at the same time he wanted to kiss her. He was torn apart and when he caught the longing in the girls’ eyes he knew that she was thinking the same. “I …. I know…,” he said unable to breathe normally. He’d have to get those thoughts out of his mind he couldn’t do that… he wanted it so much… but he couldn’t… before he knew what he was doing he’d placed his hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him again. He wanted to drown in her eyes and he wanted to forget where they were, who they were, what powers they had… once in his life he just wanted to be a normal guy…. he couldn’t bring himself to kiss her, the thought to hurt her was still running through his mind, but he also couldn’t look away… he just looked at her, trying to breath in and out… the sadness and longing obvious in his eyes…

Why did everything have to be so impossibly hard? She knew ever since her powers had first kicked in nothing in her life would be easy again but she could never have imagined just how hard everything would have been. She though maybe she would get some weird looks, maybe not her entire life being one big downwards spiral. It seemed the boys life was no different though, nothing seemed to come easily for either of them, not out of choice though. Catori knew for sure she would happily give up her powers in a second to just be normal, sure she would miss her guardian slightly but even he knew how hard she had it after all he was the one who often had to pick up the pieces when she screwed up. The amount of time her guardian had saved her...Still that also meant he knew better then most she wasn't cut out for the life that had been given too her. Her brother would have been able to thrived where she had failed, he had been so strong willed and fearless, not once could Catori remember seeing even an ounce of fear in his eyes even when he lay dying he hadn't been scared. Catori just wasn't like that there was so much that scared her, so many times when she just wanted to give in. She knew that's what bothered her most about her brother's death he had lived his short life with such happiness and fearlessness and she didn't think someone like that had deserved to lose their life for someone like her.

The only reason she had cringed when Dorian had mentioned about their last meeting was she was still more then a little embarrassed about the whole thing, she couldn't believe how badly she had screwed up on that one. She had been out so long even her magic reserves had all but run out so they had stopped protecting her. If he hadn't have found her she probably wouldn't have lasted much longer maybe another hour or two because of her blood. She could barely even remember the day or so before it was just like a haze in her memory a very cold haze. She could remember odd bits, like she had been out there because of a promise, the fact she had gone at least a day without a coat as it had got torn to shreds in a fight and the night before Dorian had found her she had been soaked for some reason and it had been well below freezing that night. That was what had finally done her in, she had just been so exhausted and so cold she couldn't wait until she made it back to the school. She had just had to lay down and in her state it hadn't mattered where. The she remembered waking up Dorian carrying her, his coat wrapped around her, he had really been so kind and caring. She still couldn't help but think pretty much anyone else would have left her.

It had honestly tore her apart to turn her gaze away from him but she also knew she couldn't bare for him to get hurt again, he had been hurt enough for one day. She wasn't worried about herself, she knew his fire couldn't hurt her, as long as she wasn't controlling the fire with her magic and it got out of her control her magic would protect her. It was kind of like a fail safe. After all elves had so much power, even as a half-breed her potential for her magic skill was almost unlimited, but she had just never got the hang of it. So when she got in over her head it protected her from the elements, for example it wouldn't save her from a sword, but if she was drowning it would bring her to the surface, if she was freezing it would keep her body temperature high enough to keep her alive or as she had showed earlier if fire was the threat it would create a barrier and protect her. Though admittedly being the most destructive of the elements and the hardest to control it took the most out of her. Even it just putting out the fire from her arm had made her go slightly light headed.

She heard his voice, his breath as uneven as her own, her gaze still downcast though she felt his hand slide under her chin again moving her gaze to meet his once more, his sapphire gaze holding a looking that matched her own. She felt a slight pang in her chest, a lump raising in her throat again. She tried to speak but words escaped her. Her breathing was still uneven, her mind had been muddled before this so now her thoughts where everywhere. She wanted so desperately to be able to kiss him but knew she couldn't, she couldn't let him get hurt...Not again. He was still in enough pain from his powers going out of control before. She couldn't risk that happening again. Her hand trembling slightly she rested it on his cheek, he was still so warm, “...I..c-an't l-let you g-et h-hu-rt, n-not a-gain...” She stuttered stumbling over her words her breathing uneven and her voice quiet unable to tear her gaze away though. It had took all her will to tear it away the first time. She couldn't help but notice just how far a couple of inches now seemed and how desperately she wished they could just be gone...

To say that he was exhausted would be an understatement. He was way beyond that word. Even though the felt a little bit better now he still wasn’t able to move the way he wanted to. Usually it never took that long. Obviously he’d really screwed up big that time and they were talking about Catori screwing up. If anyone got close to this tonight then it definitely was him and not her. He could remember how exhausted he’d been after the accident with Ana, but this didn’t even get close to how miserable he felt this time. With Ana he hadn’t been able to hold back and therefore his powers had been set free and destroyed everything that ever was between them… Today he’d fought it off, he’d pushed it back and probably this was the reason why he felt so devastated right now. At least the school was still standing and Catori was still alive, lying more or less in his arms…

This led him to his next problem. He didn’t want to let go of her, he just felt so comfortable with her around. There was something about her that calmed him but at the same time she made him nervous as hell. She was literally driving him mental, pushing him to his limits, from the feeling of calmness to the bitter taste of exhaustion when he had to fight against himself. All in all you could say that she was showing him how many emotions he was actually capable of and truth be told… he kinda loved it. It was strange but it was exactly this, which made him feel so especially human and normal when he was around her. She tended to bring out his good sides but also his bad ones… and as long as he could cope with the bad ones he’d just try to be with her… right now he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be able to destroy anything this night. He’d had his big push and even though his body still reacted to his confusion and mixed feelings he was pretty sure that there would be no reaction…and if there was… well, it would most certainly rather be a threat to him than to her. In all honesty he’d never been that close to his limits and he had no experience of how this would end for him...he could just hope that he’d survive it.

He still worried more about Catori though. Not in sense of that he’d hurt her physically. This wasn’t possible anymore at least his aching body told him so, but he worried what would happen if he let go. There was the possibility that he’d hurt himself or he probably would still be able to hurt her a little… maybe he’d pass out…maybe worse.. He worried how Catori would deal with this if anything like that happened. He didn’t want her to get all panicky and worried, as it was she was worried enough. He could almost feel her panic. Dorian didn’t have any idea of what he should do… he wanted to kiss her so terribly it made his heart ache. He wasn’t quite sure how much pain he’d be able to handle this night but he was most certain that his heart was the thing that hurt the most right now and all he wanted to do was to get rid of that pain…

He could see the confusion that played in her eyes when he’d tilted her head up to him. Catori rested her hand on his cheek and he could feel the cold of her fingers, touching his own heat. Her hand was shaking lightly and he knew that she had a hard deal controlling herself. It was the same with him, he just couldn’t help it but he had to suppress a slight shiver at her cold touch, biting down on his lower lip. He was confused and afraid at the same time. He was at a loss, loosing every ability to think straight and clear. There were so many thoughts spinning through his head, he just wanted to get them silent. Dorian heard her words but his brain had decided not to treat the information. His heart was beating so fast that he was barely able to breath and even though something in the back of his mind was screaming at him he still didn’t hear it. All the thoughts about Ana were pushed back in a little box in his mind when his emotions finally took over. Dorian leaned in closer again, his words barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry… forgive…me.” His heart was beating like the wings of a hummingbird when he finally closed the gap between them, stopping her words with a soft kiss on her lips. The heat made its way through his body engulfing him in a yellow cold flame that partly jumped over at the girl, but he didn’t have enough energy left. It wasn’t strong enough to hurt her…

Catori had never been the best at thinking straight, her thoughts where nearly always slightly muddled and she was nearly always trying to focus on a bout three or four different things at a time but she couldn't remember the last time her thoughts had been as much all over the place as they where now. So much so she could barely even form a sentence and her hands where shaking ever so slightly. When she got overwhelmed as the boy might have noticed her hands started to tremble slightly. It was just an odd quirk, she guessed it was from trying to hide her emotions she had other little tells to how she was feeling. Though most where reasonably hard to pick up on. Some where more obvious, like when she was sad or down she had a habit of clutching her knee to her chest. Luckily none of the other students knew any of her tells, well she guessed it was a good thing, it probably save her a lot of pain as they didn't know when too pick fights with her so instead just chose whenever they felt like it. Although getting in a fight was never really a good thing for people like her and Dorian it seemed inevitable so she supposed avoiding them when she was mentally she was at her weakest was a small advantage. Although mentally she was never particularly strong.

Like now for example maybe she should be doing more to make sure Dorian didn't get hurt again because of her, maybe she should have just got up and moved away from him. She knew she couldn't leave the room altogether, she couldn't have forced herself to leave him alone in his current state and she didn't know if he had any friends who could have looked after him. Not that she still would have been able to leave him. After all she was still blaming her self for this whole mess. If she hadn't have let her thoughts run off with her and he hadn't had to comfort her earlier he probably would have been fine. Saying that though maybe it was inevitable as was obvious now they both liked each other maybe more then they should have but they did. If it hadn't happened today maybe it would have happened next time they bumped into each other, which they probably would have. Sure it might have took her a little longer to realise just how much she actually had come to care for him in such a short time, saying that although it had been a short time he had already manage to save her life on one occasion and probably save her from a beating on the other.

Catori noticed the boy bite down on his lip seemingly having as much trouble as her with his thoughts. On one hand she wanted this so badly. In her mind she had no doubts she wanted this and no doubts about the boy, how could she? He was kind, caring, sweet and she had grown very fond for him and liked him a more then a little more then was safe for someone like her. On the other hand though she didn't want him to get hurt any more because of her, well not only because of her, but she could prevent that she unfortunately couldn't prevent what others did. Plus he hadn't seen her bad side yet, her rouge side, he had only seen her good side because she had always been so exhausted or weak when they had met but what if she wasn't one day? What if things got too much for her? That was part of the reason she kept her self so low on energy she knew it was safer that way, she knew she was much safer if she was exhausted, hungry and tired. That was even if her drow side did get too much she wouldn't last all that long, not enough to do much damage other then to tree's.

As he leaned in slightly closer, she noticed his mouth move but didn't process the words her heart thudding heavier then ever, even if she had wanted to respond she couldn't have, for one her mind wouldn't work above the thudding in her chest and before she would have got a chance to say anything she felt his lips softly pressing against hers, her heart stopping for a second. For that short moment all that mattered was that kiss, that longed for perfect kiss. She didn't notice anything else, not the cold yellow flames. That was until she moved away everything coming back to her in a hit that knocked her clear of breath for a short second. Oh god, she thought silently words still escaping her preying desperately that he was okay, she couldn't lose him, not now she couldn't lose another person she cared about. He had so little energy before all she could do was silently prey he would be okay words still getting caught in her throat her eyes filled with worry. She would never forgive herself if something had happened.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt as confused as he felt this moment. More so he had never felt that torn apart inside. Wanting something and holding him back to get it, was something he never really experienced, not in this way. Probably he’d never really wanted anything as much as to kiss Catori. He knew that he’d had the urge to kiss Ana and he’d done… and well he knew where it had brought him. Nevertheless it had been different with Ana he’d wanted it and he’d took it, not even thinking about the consequences because the option that she’d get hurt never even appeared in his mind. He’d been completely wrong with that though. Now that he knew what could happen he found himself constantly fighting against his own. It hadn’t been a problem to avoid any social contact. He was okay with it, he’d accepted solitude… until now. Now he didn’t want to be alone, he wanted to see Catori, he wanted to talk to her and most of all he was longing to kiss her. Dorian had a strong will and a strong mind but when it came to the girl he screwed up immensely…

If she’d gone away or he’d have more self-control it wouldn’t have happened, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted it just too much and for a moment he didn’t care what happened to him. Maybe it was a big fault to give into his feelings, but maybe it wasn’t. The fact that he was pushed to his limits already made sure that he couldn’t really hurt her. Sure he still could hurt himself but if it was the price he’d have to pay for getting just one kiss without hurting her he’d take it without hesitating for a second. This was the right moment to give in and he knew that it was inevitable. If not now he’d have done it the next time they met and then he’d have probably been strong and she’d get hurt because he failed to keep himself under control. They would have met and they both liked each other. It was obvious; there was no way to deny it… He just had the choice if he’d hurt her or if he’d hurt himself and he preferred the latter one… with this fight in his mind he knew that he’d lost already… Probably he’d lost the day he started to go to the school and accidentally bumped into her, his gaze falling at the beautiful girl that fell down the stairs…

Now that he was finally kissing her he noticed how long he’d actually longed for it… The moment his lips touched hers he felt immensely happy but he could also feel how his strength left him as he did so. He was only able to give her a short kiss before he felt the dizziness that spread in his body, knocking out the air of his lungs. Dorian closed his eyes, sinking back to the ground, trying to get some air. He’d known what he would have to expect but now that it happened he still was fighting it. For a second he panicked, but then he decided not to fight it any longer. He barely managed to breathe in but it worked somehow even though he wasn’t really able to do it in calm breaths. His lungs burned like fire and he was pulled into unconsciousness but he didn’t want to give into it. Not when Catori was around, he was a complete mess but he still didn’t want to worry her. The urge to be okay for her sake overpowered every other feeling he had, forcing him back to consciousness.

Dorian opened his eyes, some red in them that vanished and turned into clear blue. His eyes fell on the girl immediately, at fist some panic in them because he didn’t know if she was hurt or not, but when he got aware of her worried face, some smile pulled on the edge of his lips. He wanted to tell her that he was okay and that nothing bad had happened but he just couldn’t manage to say anything. This was partly because he was too weak to say anything and partly because this kiss had literally nearly knocked him out. It had been short and intense and even though he’d ended up gasping on the floor he knew that it had been so worth it. If he’d have been able to squeeze her hand he’d have done it but truth be told he didn’t even have enough strength to even do that. All he could do was to give her a little smile… He needed to get some rest… he was so tired; he barely managed to keep his eyes open. Maybe he should just lie there with Catori in his arms. Closing his eyes again, he thought about the option to sleep… yeah sleep just seemed to be what he needed right now…. to sleep sounded like a good option…

Catori could still feel her heart thumping heavily some adrenalin running through her veins still unable to think straight she couldn't ever remember feeling like this. Sure she nearly always felt muddled but never had she felt such extremes at once, never had she felt so unbelievably happy and so unbelievably worried at the same time. Every other time when someone who she cared about had been hurt in front of her she had felt nothing but guilt, sorrow and worry and although those where currently mixed in she was also happy, and vast mixture of other things. She felt something take a hold of her and somehow knew her eyes where starting to turn pure white. No. She though sharply, she had too calm herself, this couldn't happen. Not now. She crunched her fist into a tight ball her nails digging into her palm slightly taking a few deep breaths to even out her breathing ever so slightly. She wouldn't let this happen now. She needed to exhaust herself slightly more, not too the extent the boy was but just enough so her drow side didn't have enough energy to feed off to be able to take control. Closing her eyes she muttered something under her breath, not in English or Italian or anything human language in truth. The air suddenly grew slightly colder, she opened her eyes a small sigh escaping her lips, she had found using her magic was the easy way to use up some energy and while she was at it she couldn't see any harm in making the room colder for Dorian.

She noticed he had sunk back to the ground his breathing seemed quiet and unsteady and her still shaking lightly as he seemed to struggle to stay conscious. She couldn't help but think if anyone walked in the room they would think more had gone on then something as simple between a kiss between two teenagers. Even in this school it was pretty surprising that something so simple had caused a situation like this with Dorian nearly unconscious. Maybe some sleep wouldn't be bad for him. Maybe he just needed to rest up a little but Catori had no medical experience or knowledge, literally all the girl knew was that if someone was bleeding then you should try to stop it and where would kill some if stabbed, but the latter was only because of her sword training and the first was only because she remembered her brother bandaging her wounds whenever she fell so she had put two and two together.

She noticed the small smile twinge at the edge of his lips as he opened his eyes, now back to their clear sapphire blue, the blue she liked so much. She had honestly seen eyes like his, eyes that could draw her in as well as him, something about them which had made her trust him even from their first meeting. She hadn't known why she had trusted him that easily, especially these days, normally she didn't trust people at all. She guessed it kind of helped that she hadn't been able to move and by the time she could he had already gained her trust to some degree, especially after he had helped her up too her dorm on his first day none the less. To be honest when she had fell she hadn't expected anyone to help her, she had just expected to have to wait it out and hope nothing happened, she had definitely not expected a new person too help her, she knew on her first day she had been too terrified to talk to anyone ever her teacher, in truth she had avoided everyone for most of her first week before venturing out to try and make something of herself at this school and failing miserably.

He looked so tired surely letting him sleep wouldn't do that much harm? She would stay awake and keep a watch over him, settling down by his side once more she stroked his hand gently with her thumb. She knew she wouldn't been able too sleep even if she had wanted too, which admittedly a little sleep wouldn't have gone too far a miss. She was still too worried though she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep until she knew he was okay, truth be told she had that little worry in the back of her head that he just wouldn't wake up again at all. The more rational side of her knew how unlikely that was but she had seen so much death it was always in the front of her mind. “...You have too be okay...You need to get some sleep...But you have to wake up after that...” She murmured this being a very realistic worry too her she had lost too many people in her life and she wasn't a strong person she knew she couldn't take it if she lost any more through death or in a bad way.

When he’d entered the room, listening to the singing voice he’d never expected any of this. He simply hadn’t been able to sleep and was drawn to the fireplace because his nature had taken over and led him to this room. He’d been completely awake a few hours ago… or was it minutes? He had lost all feeling of time and space. It was still raining outside, this he noticed and he also noticed that it got slightly colder in the room. Had Catori opened another window? Dorian couldn’t tell it. Like the fire had drawn him to his room his exhaustion was forcing him into unconsciousness. The girl had said something but he didn’t understand her, it sounded like some completely different language, something he’d never heard before, but he was too far away to think about it all too long. His mind was constantly pushing towards unconsciousness and back again, because he just couldn’t let go. Some part inside of him was still fighting against the heavy exhaustion that had taken over…

He couldn’t let Catori stay in this room when he was like that… probably it would be early morning soon, what would happen if the students entered the room? It definitely didn’t look like an all day scene that happened in a school, not even if it was a school like this where the people with special abilities spent their days. What if anyone of the stronger ones noticed in what bad shape he actually was and decided to have a go on him? He probably wouldn’t even be conscious to notice it and as long as he wasn’t feeling it he didn’t care, but the girl would care when she was still around. Again he found himself fighting to get back to reality but it was hopeless… He just wasn’t able to get back in the room. A short stitch of regret flickered up in his mind when he realized that this time it was Catori who’d have to take care of him. He really wasn’t keen on the idea of causing her trouble but he was out of everything… His entire body hurt, he couldn’t move or speak and he’d have to pass out to recover his body fully. Not that it mattered, his body took what it wanted anyway, he just made it harder for himself by pushing against the tiredness…

Dorian felt something stroking over his hand, realizing that it was Catori’s thumb. When had she returned to him? Probably she’d never been all too far out of his reach… He didn’t know. In fact he knew nothing at all. He didn’t know where was up and where was down. It was all just so confusing… the world seemed to be in a haze, fading away from him. Or was it the other way around and he was fading out of it? He couldn’t fall asleep right now; he needed to tell her that he was okay. Maybe after that he would be able to sleep but not before he’d told her. His mind could remember her worry before and it was exactly this that made it so hard for him to give into it, because he’d seen how worried she was and he didn’t want to leave her in that state. The girl should be happy and not worried, happiness suited her way better than sadness. With those thoughts in his mind he finally managed to get back far enough to force his last reserves into a reply.

He squeezed her hand lightly, his voice barely above a whisper when he reacted to her words. “I…will…wake up… Promise….” Dorian’s voice trailed off leaving the silence hanging in the room. There wasn’t anything left he could do at the moment… all his cards were played. Another wave of exhaustion and dizziness hit him and this time he knew he’d give in. He was so tired; he couldn’t fight it off anymore. There was no use in fighting anymore… He just hoped that Catori would be relieved and stop to worry about him. His last thought before he drifted away was the kiss and then he finally gave into the blackness that had been tugging at his mind, letting himself fall down into it, his body slumping into itself.