What movies have you watched today?, As in whatever day you read this...

You watched a movie with Yokozuna? That sounds kinda' fun...

Finally saw "Walk Hard", on Friday. Really dug it.

You watched a movie with Yokozuna? That sounds kinda' fun...

Finally saw "Walk Hard", on Friday. Really dug it.

He means me... though Rikishi did join us, so who knows.

Watched "Ernest goes to Camp" with my wife's lil' brothers last night.

It was awesome, knowwhatImean?

Caught "Cheech & Chong's Nice Dreams" tonight. I thought I remembered there being a little more of a plot with Stacy Keach....but I was wrong. Still, probably my favorite Cheech & Chong flick. "Save the Whales. Funky mama, save the whales!"

Lost a coin flip (actually, I won... but the flipper cheated) and saw "The Hangover" on Friday night. It has its funny moments, but overall I was disappointed as there wasn't much writing involved. Everything didn't really tie together and they used the deux ex machina of "whoa, they did CRAZZZY stuff while blitzed. Yuk, yuk" way too much.

Example: at the end of the movie, they have to arrive at a wedding in 3 hours. It's presented as a big plot element. So they....drive. That's it. Nothing clever, unusual or funny.

I was also diappointed how it basically glorified drinking and Las Vegas. "ohhh...we're gonna' go to Vegas and get wasted, bro!!" is so terribly cliche' in modern culture, so I was upset that this movie didn't really do anything original with that concept.

Had a mini-vacation since last Thursday, so I finally went and saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. At the bargain theater for 2.50! I suppose I could write an entire feature article on this flick. I've seen countless movies since 1982, and thought: "this could be sort'a like a GI Joe movie"... everything from "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Stripes" to "Vantage Point" or "Tunnel Rats". So it was weird to think that GI Joe finally had an official movie.

Sure, it was cheesy and even resembled the Adam West Batman show at times (whenever they were in the Pit), but it kept me entertained. I even marked out like a little boy and got chills when Snake-Eyes came zipping out of the sky. But then I had to deal with silver transport planes that resembled leftovers from "Phantom Menace", the awful voice of "the doctor", a second rate Mark Wahlberg, a frickin' sub fight and other stuff. In fact, the final battle seemed a little bit too much like the climax of "Return of the Jedi" for my sakes (guys have a lightsaber...errr, swordfight inside the big battle station while a black guy leads the charge against the station).

Best thing I could think was "ehh..it wouldn't have been SO bad for the Main Chickie if she had come to see this with me". To quote the early catchphrase from the cartoon: "well, nobody's perfect!" "No...but we do okay!"

Also:

-The Shining (1980)
We spent the weekend in Estes Park.. home to the Stanley Hotel, which supposedly inspired "The Overlook". Great way to freak out the Main Chickie, who had never seen it (blasmphemy!). She now agrees with me: the scene with the guy in the bear suit giving an old man a blowjob is THE creepiest scene ever filmed.

-Adventureland- Teen comedy/drama set around a group of workers at a theme park. It's called "Adventureland", but it was actually Pittsburgh's Kennywood. Had its teen angst moments, but some humorous stuff as well. Featured "The Cop in Superbad Who Wasn't Seth Rogen" playing a similar character. Light, fluffy movie, but a bit heavy on the sappy teen romance.

Then... we went to the Estes Park Film Festival and saw 90 minutes worth of artsy shorts. I"m pretty sure most of these are available on YouTube and such.

-"Shudder Speed". Quickie about a chick running down a mountain and into the theater. Given a free pas because it was just cutesy fluff filmed especially for the event.

-'Shades of Grey"- Roughly 90 second about a guy who had lost his dog. Crap. And I'm usually a softie for dead dog tales. Grade: F

-"Alone"- Weird hitchiker horror flick. The main victim was an awful actor, as he couldn't stop smiling. Weird time shift and we weren't sure what was going on. Had some strong parallels to "Monster Man". Grade: D+

-"Alexa"- Had a great opening segment, with great camera angles highlight two fat broads talking about fashion. Then switched to a creepy sequence about a girl diving into a pool. Grade: C-

-"Therapy"- Psychological drama about a lonely guy. Good use of visuals to set the mood. Light humor and quite relatable. Grade: B

-"The Shaman's Apprentice"- Supernatural/paradoxical drama about a college professor who studied a modern-day shaman. My favorite of the bunch. Grade: B+

-"Mrs. Bramlett's Garden"- Drama about an old lady who talks to fairies in her garden. Is she losing it? Had a rather melancholy ending, with one completely weird turn that almost ruined it. Grade: B-

-"Do Not Disturb"- A murderer is holed up in a hotel room and suddenly begins receiving strange note cards. Good ambiguity in the pay-off, but still lacked something Grade: C

-"Family Recipes". As soon as the title was announced, I KNEW what it would be about. Gasp... cannibals who serve human flesh to people. *fart* Complete bullshit and I felt ripped off that such a piece of crap would be included in the event. Was like a fan film that you'd see at a horror or sci-fi convention at the ballroom of the local Red Roof Inn. Director got up afterwards and said he filmed it to capitalize on the popularity of "torture porn". Fuck you...grow up ya' dumb douche. Grade: F.

Never Back Down

Cheesy plot with the high school kid being pissed. Gets into fighting.. blah blah blah.

No.

That said, I've seen it twice on Starz lately. FML

Red Sonja
Uh huh. Basically the third Conan movie. I like to pretend that it IS Conan; he's just using a different name. In the original books, Conan had a lot of "career shifts", so having him use an assumed name could work.

I don't think I had seen this since it first came out in 1985. Back then I completely missed the subplots about the lesbian evil queen and Sonja being gang-raped in the movie's opening. Although I do remember some weird vibe between Sonja and the queen. Red Sonja is quite creepy-- both in mannerisms and appearance. Including the weirdest tacked-on/hair extensions female mullet you've ever seen. It's like they were shooting for a sword and scorcery version of "Barbarella", but missed the mark by a mile.

Sunshine Cleaning. It was alright.

With your chick, right? I got sucked into that same flick with my broad and was asleep within 30 minutes. The description made it sound like a black comedy.. but it was just kinda... blah.

With your chick, right? I got sucked into that same flick with my broad and was asleep within 30 minutes. The description made it sound like a black comedy.. but it was just kinda... blah.

Yeah, it was with my lady, but it was from my Netflix... I had been mislead by the trailers too. I was anticipating a dark, quirky comedy, not the melodrama that it actually was.

It was decent, good turn by Amy Adams and I found the characters to be largely likable, but just not what I was expecting.

Logan's Run
I've had the DVD, still sealed, sitting on my bookshelf for over FIVE YEARS. Due to the recent snowstorm, I was finally able to sit down and watch it.

Truth is...it kinda' sucks. I never caught the part that ALL the runners who left for "Sanctuary" were caught and frozen by Box. I still don't get the "Cubs", either. There's a lot of wooden acting, too, but you can spin that and surmise that it's a result of the sterile hedonistic society they all live in. Still...it's quite bad.

Farrah Fawcett as the stereotypical dumb blonde is kinda' funny ("oh...that's right, there was another Sandman..."). But to me, at least in this movie, she's beaten out in hotness by "Jessica". In fact, I don't know what it is about her, but Jessica/Jenny Agutter is probably my #2 All-Time Sci-Fi Movie Chick Crush (behind only Princess Aura from "Flash Gordon").

In Bruges...really good.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show - I went from absolutely hating this movie to loving it. The fact I can sing along with pretty much every song isn't a sign of my potential homosexuality, is it?


Stephen King's It - Not the biggest fan of King, or most of the film adaptions of his novels, but for the most part, I love this one. A decent cast, a somewhat down-to-earth plot (for King) and some goofy scare tactics puts a smile on my face.


Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - Just got the lame "Diamond Edition" set as a gift. As an owner of a non-Blu-Ray DVD player still, the bonus features (other than commentary) are on the BR discs. I still love this movie to death, though.

Laura and I watched Drag Me To Hell this past weekend. It was ok, made me smile a couple of times, and you could see the button/coin thing coming from a mile away.

Last weekend, we watched Last House On The Left. How the hell did this not qualify as child porn? My God. The movie was "eh", until the last two minutes, (after the credits started), which was one of the greatest endings I have ever seen, payback-wise.

"You're going to be fine."

Seriously, I laughed for five minutes.