No Envy, No Fear, Bella/Vic <3

[Jeanine Stanton]

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July 8th, 1869
late afternoon

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The rather hot and humid summer air that hovered over Buffalo Creek like a suffocating cloud was resented by most in the little western town, but to a certain tall and auburn-haired songstress, it was a welcome change to bask in the sunlight as opposed to being cooped up inside. At least there was a light breeze that wafted through every once in a while, ruffling her loose tresses and cooling her faintly flushed skin. She'd spent the better portion of the afternoon in her older sister's clutches, whom she normally very much enjoyed spending time with, but not when she was in full-on seamstress mode. It wasn't much fun being forced to stand on an overturned box in the same position for hours on end, poked and prodded and leered at.

Jeanine was accustomed to Jillian using her as a model for her designs, but this time, her sibling was going just a teensy bit overboard. The moment she and Nathan had announced their engagement to both families, Jill had been ecstatic not only for the obvious reasons, but also because she would naturally get to fashion the wedding dress. Since then, the self-employed seamstress had been a whirlwind of needle and thread, constantly circling Jeanine in a rather disconcerting fashion to get an eye for her 'figure.' Normally the flirtatious brunette had no qualms with someone appraising her assets, but that usually didn't include her sister. She appreciated all the hard work and time Jillian was putting forth, but honestly, she cared more about getting the wedding dress off than wearing it. After his proposal, Nathan had vowed celibacy until their wedding, so that was four months without getting any. Following the ceremony, she would be ravaging her man like a starved bear.

But all those things aside, Jeanine was truly happy. The knowledge that she would be spending the rest of her days with the only man she'd ever truly loved would be enough to keep her floating for the remaining three months until their wedding. Although she was generally always cheerful and vibrant, there was a newfound glow about her that turned heads as she glided into town, a little smile playing on her full pink lips as she absently daydreamed about the future. She waved at those she knew - which was mostly everyone, considering the small size of Buffalo Creek - and inclined her head in a friendly manner, but for once didn't stop to chat too much.

A few days ago she'd arranged to meet up with a close friend, Bella Scarborough, in front of the mercantile. The two had met last Fall and had gotten along from the moment they'd met, and their friendship had blossomed and grown since then. The strong-willed Italian had been going through a lot lately with her marriage and children, and although it seemed their lives were at complete opposite poles right now, they still enjoyed one another's company. Jeanine sympathized with her situation and tried to be there for her as much as she could, and part of that was providing her with an excuse to escape from the house and leave the kids behind. The two women didn't really have any set plans, but being able to gossip and complain and bitch without reserve was enough. Leisurely raking her long and dainty, piano-playing fingers through cascading auburn waves, Jeanine reached the mercantile and leaned back against one of the wooden beams, waiting for her companion. She took the opportunity to admire the diamond ring snugly situated on her finger, the sun's ray reflecting off the jewel and into her bright emerald eyes.

[Isabella Scarborough]

Isabella Scarborough



July 8th, 1869

Bella had been looking for this opportunity all week. She needed some time away from the house and away from the kids. As much as she loved Danny and Ellie they drove her crazy some days and today was one of those days she didn't regret just handing them over. Danny had managed to paint the walls with his breakfast and then himself while Ellie tested her new inkwell pen and left a big stain on her blankets. Bella had told her thousands of times to write at her desk but the girl still tried sketching pictures in ink on her bed. It just wasn't easy having those two and then on top of it Bella also had to worry about Henry's eldest Chris. She actually got Henry to take all the kids to Denver with him. God help that man, the two older kids wouldn't be to bad getting out of the house. Maybe their cabin fever would go away and they could have a fun adventure and come home to tell her all about it. It would be great for them and better for her but Danny might give Henry trouble. He got tired quickly, got bored easily, and once he decided he needed his mother and his mother alone he would look around with those big eyes and start whimpering. Hopefully he would be okay, he had to be okay. No, today was her day off, she had a day off everything. No cleaning, no cooking, no watching kids. She didn't have to be a house wife for once.

Riding into town on her new mule Steve Bella felt a little shameful. She use to ride all these impressive beautiful saddelbreds but now she was reduced to riding her mule. The main reason being she couldn't separate Cal and Cali still. The second she did that it may take forever for Cali to accept Cal again. Leaving the mule tied up near the saloon she wandered over to the mercantile where Jeanine was already waiting. Hopefully she hadn't been there long. "I'm sorry it took me so long I had to get Danny ready this morning and he just wasn't having any of it. That boy can put up such a fuss in the morning it's unbelievable. He never use to be that way, I hope it's just a phase." She glanced over to the big mule with his long ears and dopey looking face. Steve was a sweet natured creature but not a beautiful one. One of the patrons from the saloon walked outside to see the tall animal standing there, his long ears flicking forward and startling the man. She could hear him curse about the strange looking animal and then walk away. Poor Steve just stood there taking the insults with his good nature. No one really cared about him, he was after all just a work animal. A lowly flea bitten work animal. Bella was determined to make him something better.

Bella noticed the ring on her finger and instantly remembered the engagement. "You must be so excited, I bet you are getting annoyed by everyone telling you that. It was the same way with...ummm... never mind." Bella hadn't really gotten the same reaction to her engagement nor news of her baby. When she first shared the news she was pregnant with everyone in town someone had actually apologized to her like it was a bad thing and when she had gotten engaged people seemed very awkward about it. Some of them congratulated her, mostly her closer friends but just about everyone else avoided the conversation. "So how long before you two have kids and when you do can I babysit?" Hell if Bella couldn't have any then she wanted to babysit everyone's kids. Clearly despite all their trying Henry and Bella were having no luck with it. "So how much have you gotten planned out yet? Do you have your guest list thought out? Invitations...oh a dress. There must be so much work that has to go into this. Just remember if you serve alcohol prepair for at least one drunk speech. It happens every time without fail. It's just an early warning." Bella was so excited for Jeanine and she never thought the sheriff of all people was going to settle down but it seemed everyone was surprising her these days.

[Jeanine Stanton]

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July 8th, 1869
late afternoon

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Watching the sunlight dance and shine on the face of the diamond, Jeanine was nearly in a trance. It wasn't so much the beauty of the ring that captivated her - though not to be mistaken, she did love jewelry and certainly did not object to such a glamorous rock on her finger - but rather the symbolism behind it. Her father had entrusted this ring to Nathan, a family heirloom and the one her late grandmother had worn, and now she herself was donning it as a show of their eternal love and commitment, a promise to spend the rest of their lives together through both good and bad. Honestly, as recent as three years ago she'd thought she would spend the rest of her life migrating from man to man, in it for the thrill of the moment and nothing more. But now...well, now she couldn't imagine it turning out any other way. The town sheriff hadn't tamed her, per se, but he'd made her into a one man kind of woman. Sure, she flirted and teased here and there, but that was just in her nature. Her heart exclusively belonged to one single individual, and that would never change.

Emerging from her reverie at the sound of a familiar voice, the singer lifted her gaze and smiled brightly at her friend. She good-naturedly waved away Bella's apology with a leisurely gesture of her hand, responding lightly, "No worries, a momma's gotta do what she's gotta do. Although I myself can't imagine how you do it, you're wonder woman." She grinned, giving the dark-haired mother a playful shoulder bump. Although there was a teasing manner about her words, she truly was in awe of her companion's commitment to her children, and they both knew it. Three kids was a lot to handle day in and day out, especially with all the stress Bella had been dealing with lately, and as much as she loved Henry, he was like a big kid himself. That was probably why he and the saloon singer got along so famously, although she did wish he'd behave himself and stop causing such trouble for the sake of his wife, because she didn't want to be faced with having to choose sides as she was friends with them both.

Following Bella's gaze as she glanced over her shoulder, the tall brunette smiled as she saw their sweet-natured mule, Steve, standing faithfully outside the saloon. "Hey Stevie!" She called, waving to the animal as if he could understand her. She felt bad for the poor thing, lingering there while the two women went off and had their fun, but he didn't seem to mind much. Her own mare, Piper, would not take well to being tied up and left somewhere in town without any food or attention. She was spoiled as hell and expected royal treatment, but she was also loyal and sweet with just the right amount of spunk. Returning her attention to her friend, Jeanine's features immediately illuminated with excitement and enthusiasm as she brought up the wedding. "Annoyed? Not at all! I could gush for hours on end, but I'll spare you that." She laughed, though her smile momentarily faltered as Bella avoided mentioning the circumstances and reactions to her own engagement. She reached over and gave the other woman's upper arm a reassuring squeeze, but didn't further prompt about the subject. People in town could be so judgmental about others' pasts and professions, she knew that from personal experience.

Jeanine's brows instantly shot up as the feisty Italian abruptly and bluntly inquired as to she and Nathan's babymaking progress. She couldn't keep a straight face for long before a grin broke onto her features, and she shook her head in amusement. "At least let me take his last name before I start popping 'em out like a cannon, Bel," she chastised playfully, though the image procured by such a statement was cringe-worthy. Of course she wanted to start a family with the man she loved, but she was in no outrageous hurry to do so. She wanted some time to just be Mrs. LaHaye before there were a slew of mini-LaHayes tugging at her skirts. "Trust me, Nathan's mom is no less subtle in her desire for grandkids," she laughed, picturing Annie's overjoyed face at the news of their engagement and her subsequent celebration that she would soon have little ones to help care for. "My uterus has never felt such pressure to perform," she quipped, an impish twinkle in the depths of her emerald eyes. She knew that Bella was dying for another kid - why? she hadn't the slightest - and she wished her all the best with that, but she wouldn't rush things along for herself because of it.

Then came a slew of questions about wedding plans, and Jeanine gave an animated little wiggle, her anticipation quite clear. Lithely looping her arm through Bella's, the two began to stroll down the dusty trail as the saloon singer answered brightly, "I have a fairly good idea of who is to come, which consists of the bulk of the town. I don't want anyone to feel left out! We'll be sending out invitations next month and I'll just tell anyone I forgot by word of mouth." She gave a light, nonchalant shrug with a breezy smile, then continued, "Of course Jillian is designing my dress, we were in Denver last week to pick out materials and a few other little things for after the wedding." She gave a suggestive wink, knowing that Bella would quickly grasp her meaning. Her older sister had immediately taken on the job of fashioning the dress, being an eager seamstress and owner of a shop in town, but was also helping her plan many other aspects of the ceremony as she was to be the Maid of Honor. She'd already picked her bridesmaids as well, and of course Bella was one of the five. "It is a lot of work, but totally worth it. I'm wearing Sam down when it comes to letting us have the reception at the saloon, so of course they'll be alcohol, and I say bring on the drunken speeches!" Jeanine grinned, highly amused at the prospect. Nothing would be able to ruin her special day with Nathan, not even some wasted words.

[Isabella Scarborough]

"Yes well this mamma needs more breaks away from the kids. It was easier when I only had mine but now I have Henry's son too and it's...weird. I just don't know what to do with him sometimes and besides I don't think he really likes me. Kids never like their stepmothers. I didn't even like my real one but I think it's safe to say my kids love me. Though Ellie is getting cranky and I don't know what's eating her. She has always been a good kid, maybe she needs more sleep." Danny was the only child that was easy to deal with. He was still just her happy go lucky baby. Ellie was acting a little like she was upset about something and tired but didn't want to tell Bella why so she just broke down like she was three again and Bella was forced to walk around carrying a child...much too old to be carried or sit her on her lap and tell her everything was going to be okay. She almost wondered if she was falling apart over the same nightmares that kept her up as a child. Bella use to have some awful dreams and just stopped sleeping after a while. Chris, she didn't even know what to do with him. He was a wild card, Bella didn't know a lot about him even if when Henry wasn't home she mostly watched him. He wasn't her son tough and so Bella didn't want to for lack of a better term break him. He was Henry's son so it was okay for Henry to break him but not her. She could get in trouble for doing something wrong and so through that fear Bella kept a healthy distance.

Steve turned his head flicking his long dark tail and shaking his head so his big awkward ears slapped him in the face but the mule didn't care. He was a giant compared to all the other horses with a long elegant beautiful thoroughbreds body and a large size but a truly dokneyesque head. He truly was an awkward creature and yet beautiful at the same time. Pretty in an ugly sort of way and completely happy since he got to live out with a gelding, a pony, and his donkey sire. When Jeanine called his name he opened his maw and let out a strange sound, something between a neigh and a donkey cry making it a high pitched neigh that almost screamed at the same time in that breathy donkey tone. Bella just gazed at the animal slightly disturbed by it now. He wasn't a shameful animal to ride in on, he was going to kill someone and eat them even if he was gentle as could be he was a sneaky one. "Oh no I wouldn't mind I would love to hear all about it. I am sure it was romantic when he proposed." She knew from the past whenever someone proposed to her it had been romantic. Cameron had taken her out to their tree at night and released a jar of fireflies then asked to to be his firefly and his alone. There had also been her first client who had been a widower and asked her one day when he took her to his ranch ans asked her if she wanted to share a life with him. Neither men she could say yes to because honestly she loved her job more than them, and she knew Cam didn't love her enough to be JUST hers. Then there had been rather pathetic proposals as well. The first being a young cowboy who just wanted her because she was young and beautiful and the other being well...obvious.

"Well of course I expect you to get married to him first but you know. I'm just impatient to be able to hold a baby again." And she didn't want to tell her just now that it was too soon for her to be okay with Mary and got hold her baby once it was born. Besides Bella wouldn't be able to look at that kid without thinking of her own. Alex was due around the same time or would have been. Bella should have been showing by now and maybe even feeling him kicking too but no that would never be. She didn't think any child would ever be at this point. True it had only been a month but Bella just got this bad feeling about it all now. She just had this bad taste in the back of her mouth. "I know the feeling trust me. I feel like I have six people sourly disappointed in my not being pregnant yet." Her father wanted another grandson go figure, she knew Henry wanted a baby, she really wanted a baby, Abby was looking forward for another 'grandchild' and she was certain if her grandmother was here she would be on everyone's side of "Why are you not pregnant yet I want to hole a baby." Bella felt under all this pressure she was going to shatter and she just didn't know if she could pull it off. Danny was a magic act she couldn't repeat. Just when her fertility could have been useful it was gone.

Bella was getting so excited for this wedding. Bella ran her fingers through her short hair only now just covering her ears. God she hoped it grew out by the time they had the wedding. she didn't want to be mistaken for a boy again. She was getting rather tired of it and couldn't wait for the day people would glance her from the back and call her miss. "Well if you have alcohol don't let Henry have any or he'll ruin your wedding like he ruined Danny and Darla's." She almost said there's as well but honestly there was no way to save that other than wait until he was let out of prison and they both thought he was going to hang. "What kind of flowers are you going to have?" Damn now she was thinking of her own dream wedding she had always wanted, lilies in her hair and white roses in her hand because red roses always reminded her of blood and death. "are you having it at the church or outside?"

[Jeanine Stanton]

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July 8th, 1869
late afternoon

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Running a dainty hand though her cascading auburn waves, Jeanine inclined her head and listened attentively to Bella's rambling about her children, nodding her head sympathetically for the woman's plight. She had a lot on her plate, that was for certain, and honestly she couldn't even begin to imagine the stress and responsibility of all those munchkins running around. "Well, of course you know that whenever you and Henry need a day off, I'd love to offer my babysitting services." She gave her friend a nudge along with a light laugh, but her words were sincere, ones that she had told the dark-haired Italian time and time again. Granted, it was a lot of little ones to handle on her own, but she could always rope in Lila if she needed extra help. Or Nathan, for that matter - if they were ever going to start their own family, he needed to get more comfortable about small children. And he had a horrible aversion to babies that needed to be nipped in the butt as soon as possible, because she would not have him shying away from their own. That would be simply unacceptable.

A slight smirk played on the saloon singer's lips as Bella alluded to Nathan's proposal as being 'romantic.' She wouldn't exactly call it that, but it had certainly been magical in its own way. Sure, a dark and dim alley wasn't exactly the most sultry setting for the most important moment of her life, but it wasn't the time or place that mattered to her as much as the event itself. Glancing yet again down at the glittering ring on her left hand, she looked over at her companion and said in a faintly amused tone, "I wouldn't exactly call it that, but I'm a fan of the spontaneous anyhow." She gave an impish little wink, before continuing, "He'd just pulled me into an alley for some, uh...privacy...when I saw a sort of glare out of the corner of my eye, and I thought someone had caught us. Turned out it was a ring on the ground, and even more coincidentally, it was my grandmother's ring that my father had given to Nathan to propose, but he lost during the chaos of the shootout." The young musician shook her head, smiling at the sheer fate of it all. "The rest is history." She gave a light shrug, and briefly upturned her youthful and charismatic face to the endlessly blue sky. It wasn't an award-winning tale by any means, but she wouldn't have it any other way.

Laughing a bit at Bella's blunt impatience concerning her baby obsession, Jeanine gave her friend's hand an affectionate and reassuring squeeze as she supplemented, "I know you are. You'll get to one way or another, Bel, I promise." She sorely hoped that the other woman's pregnancy crusade would be successful, after she'd already been so tragically let down. Either way, there were other ladies in town who where expecting, her close companion Mary being one of them, but she knew that given the blonde barmaid's short past with Henry, Bella wasn't exactly overly fond of her. She could understand that, but Mary was now happily married to Davion and also a woman with morals - clouded but undoubtedly there - so she hoped that the two woman could resolve their differences soon, because they were both to be in her wedding, and she really didn't want a catfight taking the attention away from her walk down the aisle.

A concerned frown tugged at the corners of Jeanine's full pink mouth as her friend lamented about other people, likely family members, pressuring her toward pregnancy. "Don't let them get to you, it's your body and yours alone. What is meant to be will be, you just focus on keeping yourself healthy and happy." To lighten the mood a bit, the mischievous brunette reached around with her free hand an gave Bella's backside a light pinch, adding with a grin, "Speaking of which, you need to get some meat on that skinny ass! Come with me to Nathan's mom's place sometime, she's an excellent cook and you won't be able to uphold those dainty eating habits." She bumped the younger woman's hip with her own, playful as usual but still a bit worried for her companion. Henry had expressed to her his concern about his wife's weight, and she too had noticed a considerable slimming in the past few months. She wouldn't dare say it aloud, but such little nutrition certainly didn't improve her odds of becoming pregnant again.

For some peculiar reason, Jeanine smiled and laughed at the mention of Henry's antics under the influence of alcohol. She shook her head and gave a good-natured roll of the eyes, replying lightly, "Oh, I'm not worried. Nothing could ruin the day for me other than the absence of the groom." She gave a wink and grinned, completely confident that no such thing would occur, lest the sky fall. Tucking an auburn strand of hair, behind her ear, she briefly considered Bella's first question, then stated thoughtfully, "Well, I've always loved yellow and orange roses...and it would complement the season of the wedding. Nothing's set in stone, but I don't think Nathan will have much of an opinion about the flowers." Of course, she couldn't speak for him, but she severely doubted he'd be all worked up over the floral scheme. He wasn't really the fretting type anyway. The answer to the Italian's following question was easy enough, and she responded nonchalantly, "Outside, I think. We both love Autumn, and I just can't shake the image of kissing him for the first time as husband and wife with colorful leaves swirling around us. Silly, I know." Jeanine laughed and ducked her head at the mushy sentimentality of the notion.