Title: Facing Your Devils/ Angels.
Description: Benji, Leif: N. tries to overcome fear
Nails - April 3, 2012 09:24 AM (GMT)
: 1st of August, at night. Place
: Aboard the Caribbean Siren
The night after the ceremony for the Matolots, Nails was again unable to sleep, but this time rather than release the bilge pumper he chose instead to gather one of his little animal carvings that needed finishing, it would be soothing and perhaps help sleep find him, but without leaving him aching during the day when he had his own duties to attend.
Walking onto the deck he looked up into the sails and as expected he saw Benjamin hanging like a bat, playing with one of the yard lines like the kitten at the tavern, the lad had a short attention span, but could be amused by such simple things. Finding a smile on his face at the antics, he lifted his hand and acknowledged the lad. It seemed appropriate to have seen him, as he had intended on finishing the small kitten
carving that he was doing for him, based on Russell who was fast becoming a chubby kitten, it was only a small carving, but he hoped Benjamin would like it.
A few men were about the deck, there was a good wind, and the boat was slicing through quickly making good time, watchmen’s eyes were needed to ensure no collisions at this speed at night. Collecting a deck lantern, Nails was about to find a quiet spot when he saw Leif sat alone by the coils of ropes that had held him two nights before.
A large part of Nails wanted to find another place to sit, but that seemed impolite, especially since they had made eye contact now, so with a slightly heavy heart Nails moved to where Leif sat, or started to, at the last moment turned and went back to his bunk.
Tempted to stay down by the hammocks and sleeping men, Nails thought of the white haired kid sitting up there, he found his heart beat a little faster. He knew it was ridiculous, but bad omen's were bad Omen's, and sailors lived so much with superstition.
The night before after watching the ceremony, Nails had begun a project to make himself a necklace charm that would hang around his neck on a piece of hemp rope, a guardian angel of his own, that would hopefully off set any bad luck heading there way......
Like that would help you after your treachery!
Nails mind as usual mocked him his sensitivities. Go and sit alongside the kid, make your talisman, face your fears! With a push of breath it was decided.
Within five minutes he was back and indicating the space alongside Leif.‘May I join you?’
Sitting he took out the roughened outlined shape of an angel
carved not in wood, but this one in a piece of antler horn , the wooden cat now sat in his pocket for work later.
Once he was sat with his back to the ships walls, the wind cut considerably, his blue tunic top was enough fastened to keep him warm, his bare feet enjoying the last of the suns warmth from the day in the well worn deck.
Taking out a small penknife that was as well used on the handle as the deck was, he began to try and concentrate to define the shape of the angel within the bone, trying to think of something to say to the strange white haired kid that he had avoided mostly till now. why did his heart beat so hard. He was a kid. A blond haired kid....with that face? That blond? ... ‘ Still having trouble sleeping? You could try some rum. Many men drink it when first on ships. You could ask cook for some Honey with it?.’
Glancing at Leif, Nails smiled attempting friendship but it was still mechanical rather than natural, it was like a foreboding to have such an angel at your side.
Leif Edvardsen - April 4, 2012 09:43 PM (GMT)
Rather than singing to himself this night, Leif was simply sitting amid the coils of rope and staring out at the nighttime waters. The way moon and stars bounced off of the ripples and waves was rather soothing, actually... but he knew he would need to go back to bed soon. Angel and Baptiste didn't like it when he wandered up on deck by himself at night. They probably worried that he might fall overboard or be picked on by other crew members but Leif was not worried about either thing happening. He just needed the peace and quiet... he needed to not fear that he would wake screaming and interrupt the others' sleep again.
He'd torn his gaze away from the water only once, to glance over at Nails as he passed. It was the footfalls that had caught his attention; and for a moment it seemed like Nails would come and sit with him... but he abruptly changed course and so Leif had returned his gaze to the water. Though, some moments later, he looked up again as a familiar voice spoke to him and asked if they might join him. Apparently he had decided to come back up. The boy looked up at him with a shy nod and gestured for him to have a seat.
Rather than looking back out at the water, he kept his gaze on his companion, pale brows furrowed in confusion. Before now, the man had avoided him like the plague. What could have changed his mind?
He shrugged a slender shoulder at the question and suggestion of rum... he hadn't liked the taste of it or the burn when he'd had to try it earlier... he feared it would roil his stomach. And again there was that smile... the smile that did not reach his eyes. It made Leif sad and he could not help but remark on it.
"Always when you smile, it is not in your eyes. Only for me... why?" His own eyes reflected how sad that made him. He realized that not everyone would like him but at least those that did not... were honest about it.
Nails - April 5, 2012 07:20 PM (GMT)
Nails first instinct was to lie, after all that was what he did best. He tried to fit in, be a friend to all, be pleasant and easy to be around, reliable, likeable, that way he was the one least likely to be considered a treacherous spy. It didn’t sit well with him that Leif had noticed the deception; he was slipping if people, especially one so young, were able to detect a lie in his expression, and only fueled his belief that Leif was no ordinary boy.
Trying to cover it, he made a face of confusion and gave a snort of laughter to make a joke out of it.
’ I don’t smile any differently to you than to others? I think you have been at the Rum already.’
He looked at Leif, and those hairs on his neck that he trusted so much tingled again, and those pale blue eyes the colour of a clear sunny day seemed to read far too deeply into him.
His thumb actually rubbed over the guardian angel emblem he had been carving, his thumb pressing to the detail and holding it tightly. Trying to push a smile that would hopefully convince this ‘child’ that he was wrong.
His heart beat that much louder in his chest it seemed. And faster too, and why was holding that gaze so hard, he wanted to hold it, and be the last to lower his eyes, but failed, and in doing so lost his smile, dropping his head and looking at his thumb that still covered over the emblem of the angel. He had seen the sadness in those eyes, a disappointment, that was hard for Nail's to bear. If the child really was an angel sent to collect his soul, then perhaps he should not anger it with untruths, for it could read the truth easily without admission of words.
‘ You make me want to pierce my ear’. And place a ring of gold there.
Speaking quietly, and truthfully, if Leif were naught but a child he would likely not understand, but if he were a angel sent from the Heavens he would know that Nails thought he needed to have gold in his ear for when he was sent to the depths of the sea and had to pay for his passage into the afterlife.
But at least the answer was the start of the truth.
Leif Edvardsen - April 9, 2012 02:03 PM (GMT)
The boy's hurt expression only deepened as Nails told him another lie and his slender shoulders slumped. He didn't want Nails to be dishonest... he wanted to be his friend... but Nails didn't seem to want to be his and he would have to accept that. He was not certain as to why he made the older male nervous but that was what he always seemed to be when Leif was around. Did Nails think he was cursed because he had been the on;y one to survive the wreckage of the other ship he had been on? Leif certainly had felt that he was but... that was something he had kept to himself.
When Nails made the comment about piercing his ear, Leif looked up with a deeply confused blink; pale brows furrowed and full lips slightly parted. His own small hands moved to lightly touch his own ears, as though to protect them from a wayward needle. "Why?" he asked softly. What did that have to do with him? He had no pierced ears and... it made no sense to him, really. It showed quite plainly on his angelic little face that he had no idea what the carpenter was talking about.
A rather swift gust of wind swept by and Leif yelped, huddling in on himself on the coil of rope. He'd forgotten to bring a blanket this time and it was rather chilly... but it hadn't bothered him when the wind wasn't blowing in his direction. He'd been shielded from it until a moment ago. Either it had changed directions or the ship had. Either way, the poor little thing was trembling.
Nails - April 10, 2012 08:16 AM (GMT)
Why? Nails knew the answer, but how to explain it to a foreign boy if that was all he was, and how to explain it to an angel of death or a guardian angel if that was what he was?
A breath of a fearful laugh caught in his throat, pondering the answer he was to give, when he looked at the sound from Leif and saw him shiver at the wind.
Was that a shiver of doom? Just the wind? His superstitious nature could create so many fears from such a chill breeze.
The sight of the tremors stilled Nail’s over thinking, and drew out his more practical nature, taking off his blue tunic top, and slipping it behind Leif’s shoulders, the material so large on the slim frail boy that is didn’t matter it had no sleeves, Nails just tucked it around the lad and moved a little closer to the coil and Leif so his own body heat was shared. The chill breeze did little to his own skin other than bring up a Goosebumps or two, and he already had those from fear.
‘ Do you know the word Angel? ‘
Handing Leif the emblem he had been carving that was in the palm of his hand, trying to speak simply for the language barrier.
Not Angel the man... But Angel of God'
Pointing to the heavens.
‘Men of the sea, try to keep gold with them at all times, even when naked. So they can pay ‘angels’ for passage to the after life. They may have no gold on them in there pockets, so they pierce there ears, and keep a ring of gold in place to pay any dues owed by them in this life.’
Slightly different an explanation, it wasn’t really angels they were paying, but it was close enough.
‘ An Angel is fair, so pale and hair so white its shines in the sun, see in the carving. A brightness around a fair beautiful face. Neither male nor female, beautiful, different to all others….’
The explanation given, but not the question asked that Nail’s needed answering. With a beating heart he looked to the boy’s angelic face and finally made his throat loosen enough to ask.
‘ Are you an angel? Are you here for me? ‘
It felt like his whole skin was prickling now with goosebumps.
Leif Edvardsen - April 10, 2012 05:11 PM (GMT)
The petite boy's fair cheeks flushed ever so faintly as Nails removed his tunic and wrapped it around his thin frame. The warmth from it caused him to shiver all the more and, when Nails opted to sit nearer, it was only natural for the small boy to scoot closer and cuddle up to him like he would with Baptiste or Angel. "Will you not be cold?" he asked softly, but let any other queries be as he listened to the older male speak of angels and gold... and compare him to said angels. That was why he was so distant? Because he found him beautiful...?
‘ Are you an angel? Are you here for me? ‘
That drew an even deeper blush from the wide-eyed boy and he swallowed hard as his gaze held that of Nails. "I am only me..." he whispered. "Not an angel... I... if I were angel... I... my mama and papa... they... they would live." He sniffled softly, tears pooling in his eyes. "And Mama Anne and Papa Jon... all people I knew... they would be safe... not dead, not hurting... no bad things to happen to them... all things I could not fix."
He rubbed at his eyes, trying to banish the tears but he could not help it. Had he been an angel, Halden would not have been invaded and people would not have suffered. "Not here for you..." he said tremulously. "But if I was... would be only to make you happy and safe... and everyone too...."
Nails - April 11, 2012 11:45 AM (GMT)
Perhaps Angel’s of death didn’t know they were Angels. Certainly it sounded like everyone the kid had met was dead. Was that not a foreboding?
Nail’s couldn’t help but think of all those that Leif named now dead, and the boy was on their ship now, when it was on the way to be met most likely by the English Navy. Again the boy was going to be on a ship boarded and sunk, and pirates and soldiers killed, the rest taken and judged or set before a court to pledge there oath to the King.
‘ Maybe you wish that, but it seems death follows you’
He hadn’t meant to be mean, he was saying how he felt, but looking at the boy huddled by his side, he saw the tears pooling and his own mind was quick to condemn him for such a comment.
‘ He has death following him? What of you. You bring death to this ship. Not him. It is you that risked him and everyone on here. You that betray and condemn. Look to yourself first you lily-livered coward! If he is an angel of death you called him here. And if he is just a boy, have you not just made his life worse for what he must endure again. And now you try to blame him?
Nails was silent for a moment, unsure what to say.
Leif Edvardsen - April 11, 2012 02:25 PM (GMT)
The comment, however soft, felt like a slap to the face. Death followed him? Did it really? He had already pondered whether or not he was cursed but... to hear someone actually say it... well. It hurt. It hurt more than he could possible say and his angelic face crumpled into a vision of pain, anguish and absolute sorrow. Maybe everything was his fault... He hugged his knees and buried his face against them, trembling now with the tears. "I sh-should not be b-born then..." he sobs softly. "Should n-not be t-to live..."
Leif was normally such a happy boy, so pleasant and full of sweetness and life... but right now he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and it was a hard weight to bear. The thought that he was responsible for so many lives lost... He lifts his head to look out at the waves once more. Perhaps he should... make it all better. Perhaps Angel would be safer, perhaps everyone would be safer... He stands shakily and folds the tunic he had been given, setting it down with trembling hands... then stepped up to the rail.
In just his shirt, he looked every bit the little angel, wind toying with his white-blonde locks and whipping the fabric taut against his thin frame. But he was shaking in the chill of the breeze. Shaking from the cold and the fear. "I should fix..." he whispered. "Make safe..." He meant to throw himself into the water. It was rather obvious given the way he gripped the rail, body tensing. He wanted to stay here with Angel and everyone else... but not at the cost of their lives. He would give his instead.
Benjamin Colt - April 12, 2012 12:32 AM (GMT)
As of lately, Benjamin had had quite a bit of trouble when it came to sleep.
It wasn't that his nights were plagued by nightmares. Heaven no, Benjamin's dreams had never contained anything but endless mountains of food, fluffy kittens and bottomless bottles of rum.
Of course, there were nights when he would have quite vicious dreams....About carrots trying to take over 'his' ship. Those dreams he would growl and kick viciously in his sleep, snarling sentences that had other men in the crew raise their eyebrows in question.
But nightmares such as Leif had? Never.
No, Benjamin's trouble with sleep was that he hadn't exhausted himself enough.
Usually, he would've been assigned a task that was too physically taxing for his scrawny form...Or he would sit with one of the men, trying to learn what they knew like the back of their hand.
But people had been busy lately, leaving Benjamin twitchy and sleep-deprived.
At times when he was supposed to be curled up in his 'cot', he could be found at the top mast, peering out over the dark water as if he was a hawk hunting for prey. He stretched his limbs, bettering his limberness and moving his body into new, strange positions that could have others winching in pain.
Or, at nights like these, he could be found hanging upside down from one of the yards, swaying with the ship as he entertained himself with one of the yard lines that was quite intent to catch his attention every other second.
Bugger that thing. It had slapped him in the face twice already, but every time he moved to catch it, it swung out of the way.
Bloody thing. He would get it. Oh yes he would.
His attention was caught by a waving hand from the deck, and he peered down at Nails, who was seemingly unable to sleep tonight as well.
Benjamin nodded back ( as much of a nod he could accomplish, face red, hair standing on end and too large shirt bunched around his chest) before grunting once more as the yard line, moving with the motions of the ship, slapped him in the face again.
For heavens sake!
He growled, and slapped at the moving line, which moved just out of reach again.
He struggled for a few more moments, before giving up. He was starting to feel a headache coming on from all the blood collecting in his head, and he thought that it just might be time to stand upright again.
And once he was standing upright, he moved towards the sound of voices, until he was watching Nails and that blond little wanker, Leif talking. Leif. What kind of name was Leif?
Benjamin rolled his eyes, and shook some of his own, dark hair out of his face.
Not that is own name was that particularly fancy. His mother had mentioned once or twice the meaning of his name. Why he had been given it.
'Son of my sorrow' she had said, and laughed, as she had closed the door to the wardrobe he had spent so much time in, when in her care. 'Or son of the south. Both fits quite well. Now be quiet, or you'll stay in there a very long time.'
He had wondered if his mother recognized the one who had sired him in his features. But with the amount of costumers she had...It simply couldn't be possible, could it?
He hadn't spent much time thinking about it. He had had other things to think about. Like survival, for example.
As his face had returned to its normal hue instead of the puffy red it had been due to him hanging upside down for way too long, he watched the two blonds as they spoke, his fingers twisting the material of his shirt.
He was curious about Nails, which was only to be expected.
Nails was a potential friend, who perhaps would be kind enough to offer slivers of his portions of food to Benjamin.
Most in the crew just rolled their eyes when he said that he was a growing boy.
But Nails. Well, he could always tell nails that he was fourteen or something of the like.
Fourteen year olds needed a lot more food than seventeen year olds, apparently.
Yes. Benjamin could play fourteen, as long as he got more food.
He cocked his head slightly to the side, hearing Nails ask Leif if he was an angel.
So that's why everyone were so obsessed with that little wanker? They thought he was an angel?
He was aware of the kid being good. kind and gentle and quiet...Everything Benjamin was not.
But an angel? No.
Benjamin was certain that there was a motive behind all the kindness. He was certain that the moment he relaxed, the kid would stab everybody in the back and slit their throats as if they were nothing but pigs waiting for the slaughter.
No one could be that disgustingly sweet and not have a motive.
But it seemed the kid himself was convinced of his place in the sky, as his pale hands gripped the railing, muscles tensing as if he was about to throw himself overboard.
Into the dark depths below that would swallow him up and drag him down.
That was an awful way to die.
No one deserved that.
With a loud snarl, he moved forwards quickly, until he had reached Leif's side.
"Are you bloody mad?! Step away from there!" He growled, grabbing the shirt of the kid and pulling him away from the railing.
His stomach twisted uncomfortably. He didn't like being near the railing. One sudden lurch of the ship, and he could find himself in the water.
And who knew what lurked beneath the surface?
Focusing his pale, bruised ( the lack of sleep had managed to leave its mark on him, even though he kept twitching as if he was still full of energy.) eyes on Leif, he bared his teeth.
"I don't know who you think you are, but you're no bloody angel, so don't you dare throw yourself of the ship. If you're going to off yourself, do it with a bloody knife or something. The water is way too cold! Besides, you'd probably have people throwing themselves in after you! Good way to rid the ship of some good men, you bloody mutt!"
Nails - April 12, 2012 07:53 AM (GMT)
"I sh-should not be b-born then...Should n-not be t-to live...I should fix...Make safe..."
Leif spoke the words in almost a whisper, with tears running down his cheeks, Nails gut was twisting, but he seemed frozen to the spot on the floor, unable to move to stop this. His hand merely reached across to the tunic folded so neatly, the angel emblem still held clasped in his palm, and felt what was left of Leif's body heat. Such warmth in that tunic, already evaporating with the cool air, should I let this happen. It would end the suspicion you have, the foreboding of trouble ahead.
End the sense of foreboding! YOU are the cause of that. You brought the trouble. You are the angel of death to this ship. Don't you Dare just sit there! And NO don't let it happen! GET UP! His brain shouted at him to make him see sense and do something..his mind almost in a mad panic of arguing with himself.
Why are you sitting there, he’s going to kill himself and again because of YOU! He is JUST a kid. A blond haired, scared, lonely kid!
Sanity hit him , pushing off the ground he might have been too late because of his delay, but he was about to swing his hand up and catch the back of Leif’s shirt and pull him back to the ships deck and away from the rail, when he realised Benji was already there.
Relief flooded him that Leif would not do it now, that he was safe, but then remembering the conversation two nights ago when Benji said he wanted to slit Leif’s throat, perhaps Benji would push the boy over instead of saving him. Panic again pushed through his body, if Benji pushed Leif, or stabbed him, he would have to face the Captain….and live with his deed for life. Nail’s couldn’t just let this happen, someone else may see, or come along, and it was fast getting out of control.
..."Are you bloody mad?! Step away from there! I don't know who you think you are, but you're no bloody angel, so don't you dare throw yourself of the ship. If you're going to off yourself, do it with a bloody knife or something. The water is way too cold! Besides, you'd probably have people throwing themselves in after you! Good way to rid the ship of some good men, you bloody mutt!"...
Nails was standing now and moving to the side by the rail, facing both boys his own back now to the rail so no one would get past him should Leif make to jump or Benji try to push him, Benji’s words were growled to Leif who looked much like his name meant in English , a leaf that could blow so easily over compared to the feisty dark haired terrier or a ' true mutt' Benjamin. So different in so many ways.
Nails looked from one to the other, two so young, and so different in looks, but both ‘ pirates’ now and fully given of themselves since the ceremony to the life of the sea. He was twice there ages and yet he still had learnt nothing it seemed, he made the same mistakes again and again and made excuses for it.
This had to stop.
‘Leif. He’s right. Don’t ever throw yourself to the sea…. Nor Kill yourself… Enough people in this life will be trying to do that to you. ‘
Way to go Nails…..His mind mocked him again…..Hardly life saving sentences to make all things better!
Scowling and angry that the kid was doing this because of him he tried again to make Leif see how stupid it was to let someone else bring you down.
‘It’s my fault. I made you feel responsible…It's me that's at fault…I also think the Doctor is bad luck, should she throw herself over too? A woman on board a ship is nothing but bad luck … Even Benji here flouts the rules of the sea and lays on the floor at night. It’s bad luck for a sailor to ever lay on his stomach at night in sleep. Should I throw him over too?.. All those things are signs of foreboding, of bringing death to the ship, should I watch Sara and Benji kill themselves too to satisfy my worries?.’
He hoped he was making sense, this was his superstitious nature, but faced with someone doing something based on his actions, it was insane.
Leif Edvardsen - April 12, 2012 01:27 PM (GMT)
The petite boy stumbled and let out a startled cry as he was yanked, rather forcefully, back from the rail by... Benji?? The shock alone was enough to root him to the spot, silent and wide-eyed. Benji hated him, and made no effort -great or small- to hide his contempt for Leif. Why, then, was he pulling him back from doing what would doubtless make him happy? The poor boy was so confused, the tears still falling from his own tired eyes. It seemed they had the dark circles in common from the lack of sleep and he couldn't help but feel responsible for that as well.
He gulped hard as the slightly older boy snarled at him and lectured him on what a stupid thing he had nearly done... ah. There it was. He was right... Leif couldn't risk having anyone jump in after him. He didn't care if he killed himself, just not in a way that would endanger anyone else. At least he knew where they stood in that regard... He paled ever more as he realized that someone was likely to tell Angel or Sol about this. Perhaps it was best if he did it himself to avoid any excess anger or pain on anyone's part. He would explain himself and face the consequences.
Then Nails was joining the fray, voicing as Benji had that it was a foolish gesture. He looked from one to the other, fresh tears coursing down his cheeks. "I am not an angel. But you say I bring death... and you..." he looked to Benjamin. "Would like me to be gone. I want only to make safe for crew... I don't want bad things! I would make both of you to be happy if I go, why stop me? You do not wish me here..."
Benjamin Colt - April 12, 2012 03:07 PM (GMT)
Benjamin continues to glare at the pale boy in front of him, as Nails moved to stand between them and the rail. It relaxed him slightly, having a larger body placing itself between his own scrawny one and the deep, dark sea that held the promise of a quick but painful death.
At times he wondered why he didn't just stay on land. Why he did not just stay where there was no threat of drowning, nor being eaten alive by gigantic creatures of the sea.
But the threat of drowning was everywhere. In water filled barrels, in tubs, in boiling pots...Even puddles had managed to claim the life of men. Drunks who had passed out face down on rainy nights had managed to drown in puddles that didn't even reach his ankles.
At least, on the ship, he had a crew that was intent on keeping him alive and out of harms way.
Sure, at times they made a deal of chasing him around, when they claimed the stench had become too bad to deal with...But at least they didn't try to drown him.
Which was enough to make him face his fear like this.
On a ship in a endless ocean.
He was barking mad, he was.
-Even Benji here flouts the rules of the sea and lays on the floor at night. It’s bad luck for a sailor to ever lay on his stomach at night in sleep. Should I throw him over too?..' Nails words had him flinch, taking a few steps further away from the railing, as if expecting the blond to suddenly grab him and throw him overboard.
"The hell you will!" He snarled.
Leif's voice did little to make him relax, but it did make him turn his pale eyes away from Nails to meet the equally pale eyes of Leif, who was looking at him.
And...was that tears?
He suddenly felt horribly uncomfortable, and he took a quick step away from the blond little wanker.
"Look, kid...." He growled, baring his teeth slightly. "But in case it slipped your notice, Angel and Baptiste have taken quite a liking to you. In fact, the whole bloody crew has. Now, I don't bloody care one bloody bit for you, yeh? Because I can see right through you!" He stepped closer to Leif, and poked him harshly in the chest, as he focused his most vicious glare upon the younger teenager. "You may have the rest of the crew fooled by your girly looks and sweet ways, but not me! I know your type! You prance around, acting all sweet and nice, as if you shat nothing but sunshine. And then one day you turn around and stab people in the back. Spit them in the face and leave them to die. Well, I'm not bloody fooled! And the moment you slip up, I'll be the first one there to end your miserable life. So don't even think of taking that pleasure away from me by throwing yourself overboard yeh?! Cause then everyone will be moaning and whimpering over the loss of yeh, and you know who has to listen to all of that? Me!" He poked Leif repeatedly in the chest as he snarled at him, stepping closer and pulling himself to his full height in order to try to intimidate the foreign little fellow.
"...Besides, you make the men a bit more charitable with their food. Which is the only reason why i haven't cut your throat yet. Keep up the good work, yeh? But don't you dare think I like you or anything! Cause I don't! Not. One. Bloody. Bit!"
Nails - April 13, 2012 06:33 PM (GMT)
’ Benji that’s enough’
Nails had been stunned at what Benji had said, mostly because how wrong Benji was, it was Nails that was the one acting all sweet and nice, and that had already turned and stabbed people in the back, and Benji like all the others were fooled by his act, and didn’t even think he was one to watch.
It made Nails realise again just how ridiculous and mean he had been to cast suspicion on Leif, and create the present situation where the kid was being goaded and poked by Benjamin.
Putting his hand out he stalled Benjamin on the next attack of the finger poking, and held onto Benji’s hand for a moment while he shook his head.
‘Enough, he has had enough. I was wrong to say what I did Leif. Just in the same way I was wrong to consider throwing Benji over, or the Doctor, you are as welcome on this ship as I am, if not more so, for you have a blood brother here, family, and I realise now how foolish I was to think what I did’
A scowl drew his eyebrows down, before looking to Leif appealing to him to listen, and take his words as seriously as he had to begin with, hoping now to take some of that pain back he had forced on the boy.
‘ Death follows me too. Angel would say it has to him as well, he lost his mate to the sea and family too, twice or three times he has been ship wrecked and spat back just as you have. Perhaps that is why we all end up at sea trying to escape such tragedies. Forgive me for saying you are worse than any of us. The sea is a hard mistress, and does such things for her own purposes….’
Leif Edvardsen - April 23, 2012 08:48 PM (GMT)
By now, Leif's chest was beginning to hurt quite a bit; what with Benji's merciless and incessant jabbing and poking him. What skin could be seen at the open neck of the shirt was mottled pink and red already and would doubtless be bruised by morning, if not before. It hurt, as did the caustic words flowing from Benji's mouth, but the Norwegian youth kept quiet and took every jab. He knew Benji didn't like him but he hadn't quite known why. And now he did. Benji thought that he was a lie. That his entire demeanor and personality were a sham. And he had no way of proving the older boy wrong... except to be true to himself.
The tears were still flowing freely when Nails intervened but he listened to him as he spoke. He couldn't be angry at the man for having said such things... even his own folk had their superstitions. "Nothing to forgive..." he said softly, then looked to Benji. "I do not pretend... I am only me. I hope you believe sometime..."
Benjamin Colt - April 23, 2012 10:34 PM (GMT)
Benjamin’s next poking attack was prevented by a larger hand gripping his own, bony one.
Following the limb up to its owner, he glared at Nails, a pout already starting to form on his bottom lip. Who was he to say that Leif had had enough of the poking? Maybe the little wanker was in the need of a good telling off? Huh? What if he was?
With a huff, he pulled back his hand roughly and folded his arms across his chest.
No one ever let him have any fun anymore. It was all ‘Leif this’ and ‘Leif that’. ‘No, Benjamin, stop cursing Leif under your breath, he had done nothing to deserve your anger’ they said. ‘No, Benjamin, Leif should not sleep outside like an animal.’ ‘No, Benjamin, you can not find out if Leif will fly by throwing him off the top mast’.
No, No No.
Where was the fun in that?
And if taking his fun away wasn’t bad enough, the kid had started to cry.
Over what? A little bit of poking?!
”For heavens sake, pull yourself together, lad!” He grunted, quickly turning his gaze to the night sky. He couldn’t deal with crying people. He didn’t know how to handle them or what to do. As a child, he himself had never been comforted when tears had found their way down his cheeks. Ignored, yes. Mocked? Often. Often enough to that by the time he was ten, he never cried anymore. Not in public anyway. And here Leif was crying, openly, in front of both Benjamin and Nails.
And it was just…crying.
He wasn’t crying like Benjamin did, at those rare times he allowed himself to fall apart. There was no kneeling on the floor, body wrecked by quiet sobs, nor any biting of a fist as he tried to muffle his whimpers of despair. He didn’t look like as if his very soul hurt. As if his very heart was bleeding and raw and he just wanted to stop feeling all together.
No, Leif’s tears were still and silent. As if there was no fight left in him, and even if there had been, the fighting wouldn’t have made any difference.
And how in the world was Benjamin to deal with that kind of tears?
Those silent tears that belonged to those who were giving up and backing away.
He wasn’t familiar with that.
Benjamin was a fighter. He fought everything and anyone who tried to hold him down, too stubborn to just lie down and give up.
And perhaps that’s why he couldn’t for the life of him understand what Leif was all about.
Benjamin was a fighter while Leif…Leif submitted. Leif backed away and accepted whatever was coming his way.
Which, in Benjamin’s’ eyes, was bloody stupid.
”Nails! Make him stop crying like a bloody woman!”
Nails - April 24, 2012 10:40 AM (GMT)
"Nothing to forgive..." he said softly, then looked to Benji. "I do not pretend... I am only me. I hope you believe sometime..."
Leif’s acceptance of him made Nails feel not only an ass, but a cruel ass at that.
The kid had shown a forgiveness that Nails would have found difficult to give. The lad was a better man than he, Nails bore grudges and would be firing back insults and condemnations had anyone spoken to him in such a way, and yet here was this young man, accepting such harsh things said against him.
Now both he and Benjamin were being faced with the consequences of ‘ off loading’ their own problems and emotions onto the Lad, the tears were indeed hard to see and bear, for Nails they were hard to see, because he knew his own part in creating them.
For heavens sake, pull yourself together, lad!” Nails looked to Benjamin as he spoke, and saw Benjamin struggling to cope too with the showing of emotion, perhaps Benjamin too realised he had let his own jealousy affect how he behaved, when it was clear there was no evil side to Leif, who hadn’t set out to ‘steal’ friends from Benjamin, nor cause Nail’s guilt to be stirred, the blond haired youth was without malice.
”Nails! Make him stop crying like a bloody woman!”
Nails heard the statement, and if he were not feeling so guilt ridden himself, he may well have snapped at Benjamin to be quiet hadn’t he done enough, or he may have tried to counsel Leif that 'men of the sea' did not cry, no 'man' did, they held it inside…..and then drank themselves into oblivion instead… hardly healthier but ‘ big boys don’t cry’. How often had he heard mothers say that to there children, his own mother refused to let Nails cry, saying that their life was what it was, and no tears would help.
In the end, he did neither of these things though, Nails had to accept his part in Leif’s tears, and so did Benjamin.
Putting his hand gently onto Leif’s shoulder, unsure if the lad would pull back, but grateful when he didn’t, he just gave a slight squeeze, his thumb then lifting to touch at the boy’s neck, and placed gently there.
‘ I see that you are indeed only a young man Leif, nothing more, and nothing more deadly than just someone who is lonely and lost, and needs friends. I hope from now on you will see me as a friend. I promise that is how I will see you from now on. ‘
A glance at Benjamin, he kept his hand on Leif, but reached to put a hand on Benjamin’s shoulder too.
‘I hope we all can be friends now we have said what we felt.’
Speaking then to Benjamin, Nail’s knew that Benjamin needed to accept Leif’s differences, and he would find it hard, there were very different characters.
‘I think you are the only one that can stop the tears my friend. We created them, I have done what I can. A simple touch of your hand to his, a shake of hands? A comforting touch rather than a poking finger? I see no danger in him Benjamin, I was mistaken, perhaps you can see he is no threat either? Just a boy from another country that needs a young man such as you to show him how men at sea survive.’
Then knowing a little of Benjamin’s defence tactics, and his love of appearing a grown man, he added.
‘After all who better to show our Friend Leif here how to survive , than our own Benjamin , a pirate who is rough and tough, and who would not let another pirate be picked on while he was around. Who takes the brotherhood of piracy to his very core. ‘
Hiding a soft smile that wanted to play at his lips, he spoke quietly and with seriousness.
Benjamin Colt - April 28, 2012 12:02 PM (GMT)
To say that Benjamin felt uncomfortable was a gross understatement. He had quickly covered his face with his hands, but was unable to stop himself from peering at Leif between his fingers, as if the blond youth would've suddenly stopped sniffling little a little girl, and toughened up a bit. No such look. The boy still had tears in his pale blue eyes that made something in Benjamin lurch in unease.
He absolutely hated when people cried. Especially when it was his fault to begin with.
But while he wanted nothing more than to run away, and perhaps hide in a barrel until Leif had gathered a hold of himself again, Nails' words spoke to the small, sensible side of Benjamin that rarely had the bright idea to poke its head out of its little hiding.
And that sensible little side demanded that he listened to Nails, and did whatever he had to do to make Leif stop crying.
So, taking a deep breath, he turned until he was facing Leif again,but a quick glance at the boy had him look the other way, as if the tears on Leif's cheek was a particularly gruesome sight.
And then, blindly, he reached out a hand, and patted Leif awkwardly on the shoulder.
"Urh...There, there...." He said, trying to find the correct words to say in a situation like this. "...Uh....No need for tears, mate. I....I'm just a bit...A bit tetchy, that's all...Didn't mean to make you upset." Oh lord, he hoped that was good enough. He wasn't very keen to think up more comforting words. The nice words, excusing his behavior, felt foreign on his tongue, and if Leif decided that said excuse wasn't good enough. Well, there certainly wasn't anything Benjamin could do about it, could he?
But Leif should accept his apology.
And if he didn't....Well, He'd just have to make him accept it, now wouldn't he?
Leif Edvardsen - April 30, 2012 05:29 PM (GMT)
The gentle weight of Nails' hand upon his shoulder was comforting to Leif. Touch was something he very much needed when he was out of sorts but he had never been the sort to outright ask for it. after all, not everyone was as comfortable with touch as he was. The tears still flowed but it was plain to see that the simple gesture was indeed helping him. Helping to settle and soothe him. His words were another comfort, though he could not help looking to Benji to see if he, too, could accept him...
In all honesty, he was expecting the slightly older boy to shrug things off and go back to being cruel to him. But... even he gave him an awkward pat and attempted an apology for his behaviour. Leif closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh of relief. He was shaking but not with the tears anymore. Mostly from the chill and... relief. Relief that he was not thought of as some vengeful entity or.. malicious fibber.
"Th-thank you both..." he stammered, taking a few shaky breaths before moving to brush the tears away. They were still falling but at a much slower rate. A sign that they were indeed real and not him simply crying at will.
Nails - May 1, 2012 10:00 AM (GMT)
‘Urh...There, there.... Uh....No need for tears, mate. I....I'm just a bit...A bit tetchy, that's all...Didn't mean to make you upset’
Nails would have had to suppress a smile at Benjamin’s words and his awkward body language, if the kid was looking at him, however Benjamin was facing away from them both, so his smile flourished and he gave Leif a smile that genuinely went to his eyes this time, almost a laugh as he shook his head at Benjamin’s antics, quietening only when he heard Leif’s heart felt reply. "Th-thank you both’’
Nails put his hand on Benjamin’s shoulder too now, so he had one hand on each of them, and pulled Benjamin a little bit closer in, so they formed a tighter group, not sure of what made him do it, but he gave them each a small friendly shake, then with a laugh pulled them in so close that they were in a cuddle of bodies, and before Benjamin could escape he laid a kiss on both there heads.‘ I’m glad we met and talked this night. ......OHHH’
An idea just hit Nails, and letting go of both boys he turned and in a easy sprint went to the sail crate,leaving them alone, at the crate he withdrew some of the hemp rope and taking out his knife cut a piece off that he then cut into two, before returning to the two boys. Withdrawing first the angel
emblem he had been carving, he threaded the hemp through the small hole and placed it around Leif’s neck, knotting it before checking it was held firm.‘ Now I know you are not an angel, and merely a young man, and one I hope to count on as a good friend, I would like you to have the protection of a guardian angel, may she bring you luck and keep you safe..’
His eyes met Leif’s and again the smile on his lips was genuine, before he leaned in and laid a kiss on the boys forehead. Then with a wink and a nod to Leif he turned to Benjamin.And you……Mr… I’m a bit tetchy that’s all... You grumpy goat herder....’
Mocking him teasingly, copying his London accent like a native( which he was) he laughed at Benjamin and shook his head , his hand reaching into his pocket and withdrawing the kitten
he had been about to work on before he decided on the angel that night . The tail of the kitten curled in on itself making the loop where the hemp was pushed. ‘ I look forward to seeing you be as playful as a kitten with Leif, I know you two, who are already related in blood ceremony will be firm friends, and I trust you will teach Leif the ways of the sea……but in a gentle way, he’s not as tough as you …Aye?…’
Leif may well be tougher in fact, but Nails didn’t say that, Benjamin clearly was easier with people thinking him the brave tough one, but the pair would help each other he knew that now. ‘neither pieces are totally finished, so I’ll come and collect them when I have time, and make them perfect for you’
Putting the hemp around Benjamin’s neck, tight enough that it wouldn’t fall off his head when he was upside down in the yards, he set it purr'fectly’ on Benjamin’s collar bone and smiled at Benjamin.
Leaning in slowly to kiss him, but knowing how Benjamin was with contact he pulled him in close and gave him a bear hug, refusing to let him go till it ended up in more of a wrestle and rough housing, then let him go only then. ‘To a new start ... as friends....’
He mock cuffed Benjamin on his jaw with his fist, and drew Leif in for a hold with his hand around his shoulder, giving both boys as much contact as was comfortable for them, happy to draw Benjamin in too if he let him.
Benjamin Colt - May 1, 2012 08:46 PM (GMT)
Before Benjamin really knew what was happening, he was pulled by Nails into some huddling hug, and it seemed as if Leif had not been unable to escape either, as Benjamin suddenly found him uncomfortably close.
With a very much undignified squawk, Benjamin struggled as Nails laughed, stumbling backwards and furiously rubbing his forehead, where Nails had had the nerve to defile his manliness by planting a kiss.
What the bloody hell was the meaning of this!?
He opened his mouth to snarl at Nails, but before he knew what was happening, the man had sprinted of, leaving him alone with Leif.
Benjamin blinked, and snapped his jaw shut.
Well...Wasn’t this uncomfortable?
He folded his arms, shifting his weight awkwardly from one foot to another, and then opened his mouth to speak…only for Nails to appear again, looking as excited as a deranged puppy.
Benjamin raised an eyebrow, and took a step away from Nails and Leif.
Perhaps Nails had hit his head. Yeah. Or perhaps he had just lost his mind? Yes. That sounded like a reasonable explanation. How sad...He had liked Nails.
He was just about to scurry of into the night and hide from the recently unhinged Nails, leaving him Leif to play with, when the man turned towards him. He froze, and tried to look as if he hadn’t planned to escape at all.
Insane people didn’t like when their victims made a run for it. His mother had, if anything, taught him that.
His eyes widened as Nails’ hand disappeared into a pocket, seemingly reaching for something. Was it a gun? A knife? Oh lord, He really was deranged!
But Nails did not pull out a weapon. Instead he pulled out something small and something…made out of wood?
Benjamin visibly relaxed, and scurried forwards to peer closely at what Nails was offering.
A…cat? A small carved wooden cat. Had Nails carved that himself?
Barely listening to the words the blond man uttered, Benjamin only grunted an ‘Aye’ out of habit, too focused on the emblem which Nails had threaded a piece of hemp robe through, before tying it around his neck.
He had made it… For him?
Benjamin removed his gaze from the small wooden cat, and smiled back at Nails.
And still, even with his gaze upon the taller male, he was unprepared for Nails sudden movement, and before he knew what was happening, he was caught in a tight hug.
Snarling, kicking and struggling, he tried to get away, but it wasn’t until after quite some time that Nails finally let him go, leaving Benjamin to stumble back, eye twitching in annoyance and hair standing up in ridiculous angles from the roughhousing.
”Bloody old goat tosser…” He grunted, trying to stay mad, but failing miserably, as Nails gently pushed his fist against Benjamin’s jaw in a mock-punch.
Alright, so he couldn’t quite get himself not to smile back at Nails...But there was no bloody way he was ever mentioning that the hug hadn’t been all that bad.
”If I didn’t like you so much, old man, you’d be in very much pain right now…” he huffed, unable to stop himself from grinning at Nails, while playing with the new token of friendship which was hanging around his neck.
Leif Edvardsen - May 21, 2012 02:01 PM (GMT)
When Nails smiled at him, really smiled at him... Leif could not help but feel a blush from the tips of his toes to the roots of his white-blonde hair. It was so very different to see such a genuine smile from him... and it put the boy at ease in more ways than one. And he blushed all the more when Nails drew them in close, into the warmth and safety of his arms. Not only that... he placed a kiss upon their heads. The petite youth could not help but curl into him and smile, albeit shyly. Touch was important to him, it always had been. But this.. this was somewhat different.
It was short-lived, however, because soon Nails was off, leaving the two boys to stand in awkward silence. Leif didn't know what to say to Benji, he really didn't. He was glad that they were on better terms, or so Leif believed, but he still.... just felt awkward. Shy.
Luckily, they did not have long to wait before the older male was back and moving to tie something about his slender neck. An... an angel? To protect him... he listened raptly as Nails spoke and felt his little heart swell with thankfulness and emotion. Friends.... good friends... it felt nice to hear it. Almost as nice as it felt when Nails smiled at him once more before planting another kiss on his forehead. It made his belly flutter inside but he didn't really understand why... it had to simply be relief. Of course. What else would it be?
He watched as Benji received a similar gift and smiled softly, a little giggle escaping him as Benji tried to escape the affection Nails was doling out. It was amusing, certainly, though he himself welcomed it when it was once again his turn, even going so far as to slip his arms about Nails' waist and rest his cheek against him. Why was he shaking? He never shook when Angel hugged and kissed him, or Baptiste.... oh well. He would worry about it later. For now... for now he would enjoy the comfort and company of new friends rather than puzzle over why he felt so flushed. If anything, it had to be that he had a chill.
"Friends always..." he said softly.
- THE END -