Welcome!

[Mia Vandutchess]

I wrote this for my ex-fiance when I said my last goodbye to him. I love him so much. Please comment this


Sorry for all the things

I'm sorry for the pains I've caused
It seemed I went too far
I'm foolish and think only of me at times of desperate
It's stupid but I told you I want to make mistakes so I can learn from them
I saw things that I know will change my mind and broaden it
I want to try something new, to discover meanings of life
It's not easy but I am willing to take a challenge
I stood my ground all this time for the both of us
I am grateful for I know you will always have words to soothe me
I saw now that you have bravery
I also now knew love is what protecting you and keeping you together
I know by heart your family loves you dearly for you've been so kind
I'm here asking for forgiveness for making you sad
I always thought you were angry but I knew you are too at times
I'm sorry that I broke your heart
I do things without really think about it
I hope you understand
I have made many mistakes and that boy was one of them
I will watch out for the people I trusts
I love you dearly but I know I broke your heart
I don't dare to go back
I can't stop thinking of you but
I can't keep this up
I hate to do this
It's time for me to go somewhere new
It's only fair for you too
I am saying my last goodbye and wish you luck for a happy life

[Allyson]

Interesting, and i've got two questions for you:

One, is this an experience you've had? Or did you just think of it?
Two, is this a song or a poem...or both?

[Gravity]

This is eerily sad. I think that with a few tweakings it could be truly great. Your rhythm is off, and that's the main thing. I'm not really fantastic at poetry, but if you play around with the line structure and some of the words you could easily adjust the rhythm, and have something great on your hands.

Oh, by the way, Much Welcomes from EVERYONE.

[Mia Vandutchess]

Not a song and its from experience Allyson. Well thanks. I know the rhyme is off but I really can't more to it

This post has been edited by Mia Vandutchess on Oct 1 2007, 05:00 AM

[MadCat]

Poems don't always have to rhyme, but I do agree with gravity, the rhythym was a little off and that is important, but that was still a great poem, very heartfelt, when I read it, I could feel your pain.

[Mia Vandutchess]

Aww...thanks I know its off key but I was desperate when I was writing it and heart broken.