Appearances, Sanctuary Fan Fiction

Howdy yall,
this is my first Sanctuary Fan Fiction and it's a slow process coming. I will appreciate any and all feed back and comments. The length of the final story is unknown and a date of completion is also unknown. I will be posting the story in "sections." Basically these sections are the result of a scene rundown emailed to my friend Josh, who jots down something for me to read. I go over and edit what he sends me, and we bouce it between us 100 times. What I will be posting is what we are satisfied with, but we expect these sections to continue to change with the feed back we receive. In short, ENJOY!!

Please share your thoughts. Your comments, feed back, reviews all motivate Josh and myself to keep work and if anything bring a smile to our faces!!

Also, I'd like to thank PA for allowing me to use these forums. YOU ROCK!

Title: Appearances
Universe: Sanctuary
Created by: Adamo
Written by: Josh G
Edited by: Adamo

Feb 14, 2009: Section 1 & 2 / Post #2 & 3 added.
Feb 15, 2009: Posted correct version of Section 2.
Feb 19, 2009: Spelling and Grammar Fixes in Sections 1 & 2.
Feb 22, 2009: Section 3 / Post #7 added.
Feb 23, 2009: Slighty tweak to a sentence in Section 2.
Mar 02, 2009: Section 4 / Post #12 added.
Mar 03, 2009: Clarified one of Ashley's motions in Section 4.
Apr 21, 2009: Section 5 / Post #19 added.
May 23, 2009: Section 6 / Post #25 added.
Oct 26, 2009: Section 7 / Post #32 added.

This post has been edited by Adamo on Oct 26 2009, 07:06 AM

Section 1:
Title: n/a

The man’s first step onto the street nearly killed him. He aimed his boot for the deepest area of the puddle that lined the curb and stepped with vigor. Streams of water pelted the concrete and the boot of his pants. The interrupting ripples that surged from his boot’s crater brought the beginnings of a smile to his face.

Only then did he sense the approach of a dusty van from down the street. It hugged the curb, cascading the pools of rainwater along the sidewalk. The streetlight’s glare obstructed most of the windshield, but he could see the driver was not aware of anything that may be standing in his way. He was young. College, maybe. One of his hands rested on the wheel with the other out of sight. The driver’s attention was attached well below the windshield to the phone in his other hand. The man also saw an enraged young woman who found herself standing too close to the curb when the van whizzed by. She was looking in disgust at the newly drenched side of her skirt, but only for a moment. She made eye contact with the man in the van’s path, and horror replaced her anger.

One foot still resting in the puddle, the man launched himself backwards onto the curb to avoid losing his leg and whatever else might come off with it. He rolled to his back, kicking his legs up into the air as if he had been hit with a champion’s uppercut. The van never considered him. It whizzed by with a rush of wind and water, missing his heels by inches. He followed the van further down the street. The front wheel scraped the curb a few yards down, and the van jerked back to the center of the lane.

The man rested his head on the damp concrete and closed his eyes. The reality that he could have been run over hit him. What had he been thinking? He heard the splashing water from the van’s wheels when it was over a football field away. He knew that just as he knew a spider was crawling up the light post by his feet. And that a dog had done its business around here no more than an hour ago. And that some terrified woman was rushing towards him.

“Oh my god. Oh my god! Are you ok?” She knelt down beside him. She lightly touched his chest. Her hand quickly drew away, as if he was a hot stove. “Can you hear me?” She looked around to see if anyone may have seen, but only a phone booth and an unlit row of restaurants met her frantic eyes. She heard laughter from a pub around the corner, but the hour was too late to rely on them for much help. “Listen, just stay calm. Don’t move. I’ll call for help.” The girl stood up and fumbled through her purse. She pulled out her phone and began to dial “999,” muttering “Oh my god,” over and over.

The man sat upright and shook his head. “I’m fine,” he said. The moisture on his shirt caused his back to tingle. He swept a hand through his long hair to get rid of the pebbles he picked up from the ground.

She watched in disbelief. Her phone remained at her ear. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Don’t move too much yet. That was a bad fall. You hit the ground hard.”

His shoulders rolled back, and she heard his neck pop. He continued to move in spite of her advice and stood up. His arms wrapped around to his back, wiping off whatever dirt he could reach.

Relaxed that the crisis was probably over, her phone went back in her purse. “Ok, but I’d be careful. You could be hurt real bad and just don’t know it. When I broke my arm in grade school I didn’t even feel it. I just went numb. I didn’t even notice it until Kate looked at my arm and screamed at the bone sticking out. Then I screamed too and it started to hurt.” She tilted her head and looked up into the stars. With a shrug she said, “Anyway, be careful.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I’m fine.” And he was. The fall didn’t hurt. He even appreciated the jolt of adrenaline. The cold water added a splash of excitement to the monotony of tracking.

He blinked, suddenly alert. Did he lose his mark? He wondered how far away she could be by now.

“Let me say, though, that was amazing, truly!” said the girl. The man looked at her, wondering why she was still here. “I thought you were surely dead! Or, if not dead, at least hurt. I never in a million years would think you could avoid that guy. Those stupid drivers are unbelievable! It’s funny, isn’t it? I walk to avoid the dangers of cars—well, and for exercise. Yet here we are, I’m soaked and you almost died!”

Even as she wore her drenched skirt, her mood had elevated. Her face had brightened. She thought of what a great story this will make. She’ll have to call all her friends and even her mom and—

“Thank you for your help, but I must go,” said the man. He nodded his head and walked across the street.

“Ok, cheers! Take it easy tomorrow, you might be sore!” she called from the curb.
But the man knew he wouldn’t be sore. He looked down the street at all the possible paths his mark may have taken. There were too many. There was no way of knowing where she was. Still, he felt no concern. He had her scent and would find her again. He always did. Besides, that’s the fun part.

This post has been edited by Adamo on Oct 15 2009, 12:06 AM

Section 2:
Title: n/a

She walked down the alleyway with purpose. Her echoing steps whispered down the passageway in a dreary game of telephone. She was fairly sure of where she was. Or, if she wasn’t, it was better to appear confident. She eventually reached a proper street and turned in the direction that looked most familiar. A man moved behind the telephone booth in front of her. She took note but paid him no mind. Continuing past him, she headed in the direction she almost surely felt was right.

“Ashley,” she heard from behind her. She kept herself from jumping, but the surprise of the familiar voice plucked her nerves just the same.

Ashley turned and shook her head. “Good lord, Will. You don’t think lurking behind a phone booth is a little creepy? I hope you haven’t said my name like that to every girl that’s walked by.”

“Just one or two,” he said with a smile. “Your shoes give you away. I could hear you when you were at the other end of the alley.” Will began walking down the path Ashley had been taking. She kept pace beside him.

A double-decker bus passed them on the otherwise deserted street. “What’d you find out?” she asked.

“It’s definitely here. There are at least two cases from the past month that fit the profile.” Will pulled a file out of his jacket and read from the first page. “Jessica Newman was killed three weeks ago near the train tracks just west of the city center. They found her…remains.” Will shuddered. “It only left her legs, but the police conducted the tests, they know it’s her.”

“How did they explain it?”

“The most natural explanation possible, I suppose, that she was dismembered by a train. No conductor, of course remembers a sudden bump during the estimated time period, and the rest of the body was never found. Eaten by wild dogs, they guess. The half of the body they found was fairly chewed up by animals, as well.”

“And we’re sure this is one of its?” said Ashley, absently tracing the century-old buildings set along the road.

“Yes. The death was in all the papers. The entire city saw her picture. It’s not every day, you know, that half of a woman is found in Oxford. Authorities have received six claims from people who swear on their life that they saw Jessica Newman walking down the street weeks after her body was found. They’ve been dismissed with the assumption that there must be some woman who looks extraordinarily similar.”

“And the other?”

Will shrugged. “Same story but with a man. Police called it a once-in-a-million industrial mulcher accident.”

He flipped the folder closed shoved it in his jacket. Will paused and considered the facts. “I think it’s understandable. The bogus explanations, I mean. The truth is certainly more remarkable than everything that they’ve come up with.”

The beat of Ashley’s steps quickened. “We need to get this ghoul. We need to contain it before people figure out something far worse is going on or it moves on.”

“Well, I have a few leads to get you started. It’s safe to say, I think, that this thing isn’t as smart as it is brutal.”

They walked in silence, passing a few happy couples and a few colleges. Ashley thought of how she could approach this sort of beast. She had encountered her share of dangerous abnormals, but never one so reckless in its destruction. If she couldn’t handle it soon, this abnormal could cause mass panic.

Will broke her train of thought. “Anything new with your stalker?”

“Nothing new,” she said, stealing a quick look behind her. “He’s around, I’m sure. I think he was held up earlier tonight, but he’s still his same harmless, ever-present self.”

“Do you think he’s an abnormal?”

She gave a quick, uninterested chuckle. “Maybe. Until he gets in my way or we don’t have to worry about abnormals eating people and stealing their appearance, I’m not going to give him much thought. We have bigger problems right now.”

After a few moments of silence, Ashley realized Will was no longer walking beside her. She turned around and saw him standing a few feet back.

“What if your stalker is the thing we’re after?” he said, looking her in the eyes.

From Ashley’s throat came a gruff laugh, as if she had heard someone mispronounce her name. “No, there’s no way. That guy may be weird, but he’s no killer.”

Will was again even with her, and they continued walking. “How do you know?” he asked. “You’ve said he disappears for considerable lengths of time. Even right now, how do you know he’s not somewhere killing right now?”

“I’ve been hunting ghouls for years, Will. They can’t control the consuming fire in their eyes. Their smallest movements reflect their need to kill. That guy, whatever he is, doesn’t burn that sort of fuel.”

Knowing when further arguing was worthless, Will backed off. “Ok. I suppose that’d be too easy anyway.”

Ashley knew she had spoken with absolute confidence. She knew ghouls, and her stalker was no ghoul. Her body, though, betrayed her certainty, and she noticed her hand migrate to the tranquilizer gun in her jacket, ensuring it was loaded and cocked.

Only a block later, she realized she was once again walking alone. “Another revelation?” she said, turning around.

Will pointed down a street she had just walked past. “We turn here.”

“Right.” She was going to figure out this city if it killed her.

This post has been edited by Adamo on Oct 15 2009, 12:07 AM

I really like it actually...the 1st section was an interesting introduction, well written and played easily in my mind as I read it...same with the 2nd section and you've captured Ashley and Will well...the story itself left me wanting to read more...I look forward to finding out more about your Sanctuary world...also like the fact it's in Oxford...a perfect British place for abnormals to thrive!!

I hope others read and comment too...posting in short sections is good too for keeping people's attention...

I really like this great way to start. cant wait to read more

Thanks for the nice comments you two! I feel somewhat silly in that I posted the wrong version of Section 2. Its pretty much the same, but with further imagery and a less abrupt ending. Let me know what you think. ENJOY!

Section 3:
Title: Paradise Lost

Jacob’s limbs felt refreshingly lighter. He walked from the college holding his back straight and his head up, basking in the beauty of a cloudless winter’s night. He had given the past three days of his life to Paradise Lost. He knew he would never get those back, but at least his essay was done. The paper took him well into the night, but he had emailed it—emailed it away from his life forever—before midnight. It was now, walking down Broad Street, that relief hit. The stress dripped off his body like ice melting from a tree. Each step was a tiny liberation.

Now, though, Jacob had a girl to find. He heard from a friend that she would be at a club off Cornmarket. He had never been there, and he lacked the alcohol that made clubs so much more fun. Still, he kept walking. He knew he liked her, and he thought she liked him. The exciting possibility always sat at the front of his mind. His feelings were still under control, but in the back of his mind, the part that he hid from the rest of himself, there was potential. Each time they talked he moved another step closer to the edge of a cliff.

There weren’t many people around tonight. Jacob could see a few guys laughing by the kebab stand down the street. He thought he saw a couple enjoying the moment outside the Bodleian. He didn’t stare, of course. No, Jacob had his own plans, and he needed to hurry if he wanted to get there before she left.

The greasy aroma of the kebab stand reached his nose. That was enough for Jacob to realize he was hungry. He paused at an intersection to think if he had enough time to order a burger. He was leaning towards “no,” when he saw something scutter across the darkened street. Jacob jumped at the sight. The thing crept in front of a parked van and down an alley, only remaining in the open for a moment. A lump formed in his throat that came out as a dirty cough. The adrenaline hit him a moment later, spreading warmth from his heart to his fingertips. He glanced at the kebab guys. They continued clattering around the grill.

What was that? It was the size of a big animal, like the large dogs that sit next to the homeless guys. Jacob knew it wasn’t a dog. No dog moved like that. Could it have been a person? The street was sort of dark—it may have been an injured, contorted person.

The adrenaline had dissolved his appetite. Jacob looked down the street. It was dark, sure, but not that dark. He stole another glance at the kebab guys, who remained aloof as ever. He knew he had to see this.

He stepped gingerly down the poorly lit street, minimizing the noise for no reason in particular. As he approached the parked van he began to notice some sort of tracks along the ground the followed the path of whatever that was. The low light prevented Jacob from seeing them too clearly. They were only dim and slimy skid marks. Jacob saw that the alley the thing went down was deserted and much darker.

A taxi appeared from behind Jacob and raced by him. As it passed, the headlights illuminated the thing’s tracks. They had a funny shade, not what Jacob expected. He knelt down and squinted at the skid marks, making the most of the sparse light.

“Blood,” he whispered.

Jacob, suddenly pale, remained still. He looked back down the alley. Still deserted. He realized that his curiosity would be left unsatisfied. The blood had upped the ante in this mystery, and Jacob no longer wanted in. He had a girl to see. He didn’t have time to solve mysteries.

He stood up and walked towards the well-lit Broad Street. A dark motorcycle sounded from behind him. Jacob turned to make sure he wasn’t going to get run over, but the motorcycle had stopped in front of the same alleyway. Jacob forgot himself and stopped, again overcome by the mystery. The motorcyclist turned its helmeted head towards him and lifted up the visor. She—it was a she—looked at him with petrified eyes and yelled, “Run!”

Jacob turned to his right and saw grey eyes, a large mouth, and nothing else.

The kebab guys continued telling a joke about Americans to their tipsy customer. The sizzling of the meat was all they heard in the background. A disappointed girl continued dancing with her friends at a club off Cornmarket.

This post has been edited by Adamo on Oct 15 2009, 12:07 AM

OOOOH this is AWESOME so far! I loved the intro--I can see it happening on the show--and I love how you're building the suspense up with each chapter. Keep it up!

thanks pooka! lets hope the future sections please you as much. and to AR my tesla-pathetic friend!

Thanks! I feel loved

I finally put my fic up on here...after forever...well, not really forever...but...never mind

This post has been edited by Pooka on Feb 22 2009, 01:56 AM

Lol, I just saw Pooka's reply yesterday, didn't notice part 3 until now!!

Anyway, again it's very well written, keeps the suspense going and the interest piqued...can't wait to read more

Section 4:
Title:

The wooden chair creaked as Will leaned back. He reached his arms up behind his head and let out a lengthy yawn. The moment was the most generous indulgence he had allowed himself for hours. Photos, news clippings, evidence samples painted the tables around him. He looked like a man obsessed, one of those conspiracy theorists who lived on nothing but the mystery.

Yet, Will was a man obsessed, and he had to be. He had poured over the police files of the two killings and whatever additional evidence he and Ashley had gathered, scrutinizing anything that may be a clue. He needed something that would explain the randomness, something to help them make sense of this abnormal. He had found none.

Will stood up and walked over to the table covered with the reports of the two victims. The commonalities had been difficult to spot and were loose at best. Their remains were both left “unfinished,” lying out in the open. The images pinched Will’s stomach each time he thought of them. This tendency could only fit an abnormal with no regard for its own well-being. Surely, Will thought, even the simplest of intellects understands that avoiding detection is the key to survival when killing. The pattern suggested apathy for discretion. Combined with the apparent recklessness, Will and Ashley’s task to eliminate the threat without causing a panic was formidable.

The ray of light to which Will had been clinging was the location of the two bodies. Both victims were killed on the outskirts of Oxford. The abnormal had made no effort to hide the bodies, but, nevertheless, the locations were far removed from the city center. Will could only imagine the panic if a torso was found outside of Sainbury’s in the city center. He knew that two instances were not enough to establish a pattern. It was a loose foothold, but Will hoped that it suggested the thing had some sort of prudence.

The day before Will visited the scene where Jessica Newman’s body was found, which the authorities thought was severed by a train and later scavenged by dogs. Will canvassed the grassy field for any hint as to what had actually occurred. He turned every stone on the damp ground, searching like a child for the place where the Christmas presents were hidden. It took an hour, but he found his gold mine. The authorities had not ventured this far away from the body. Thirty meters away from where Jessica’s body was found, Will saw a piece of black fabric. It was light weight polyester. Will remembered that she was found wearing running shoes, and he was certain that the fabric belonged to her shorts. She may have been dragged to the train tracks by a wild dog or something, but this was the spot where she died.

Running the musty cloth through his fingers, Will studied the configuration of the footprints surrounding him. They were heavily eroded by rain, but enough remained for Will to piece together the incident. The beast was chasing her from this direction. She was running. She was running fast. Here, Jessica’s moist shoeprints showed her turning around to face the beast. And here is where she fell. The thing didn’t charge at her—it jumped. It launched from here. Yes, here. Fifteen feet away, and that was it. The force necessary to strike from that distance would snap her spine on impact. The thing got its fill and returned in the direction from which it came. Will followed the tracks for several pace before he reconsidered. The sun was setting, he had no weapon, and couldn’t outrun whatever that thing was. Jessica had certainly been faster than him. Marking the location of the tracks, Will headed back to town to find Ashley.

Rogue slivers of orange and red darted through the night sky. Dawn was rapidly approaching. Will thought of Ashley as he leaned back in his chair. They had split up several hours ago, and Will wasn’t yet worried. He couldn’t help but think, though, that this abnormal was something different, and his three hours of ignorance weighed heavily on his mind.

His eyelids begin to feel heavy. It seemed that all of his thoughts, every photo and report, were resting on them. He had been up long enough. He should rest.

He slipped into himself, snoring ever so slightly.

The door slammed. Will’s body recoiled as he launched out of the daze.

Ashley walked into the room and dropped her helmet, which clunked against the wooden floor in an angry punch. She gave an unfeminine grunt, like a bull in the arena. She kicked her helmet across the room. Will didn’t see what it hit, but his chair shook with the impact.

“Oh, were you sleeping?” Her voice did not suggest she truly cared.

“No. No I wasn’t sleeping.”

Dust formed a dirty film over her leather jacket. Her eyes were dark and fiery, small capsules of fury. But exhaustion’s curtain had lowered, and her eyes drooped. Her shoulders shagged under the weight of tremendous stress. She melted into an easy chair on the other side of the room. She appeared as a ramshackle image of herself.

All thoughts of a nap out of his mind, Will said, “How did it go?”

Ashley didn’t respond for several seconds. She sat there, her chest undulating in frantic rhythm. It paused, and she looked at Will. “It killed someone else.”

Will raised his eyebrows. “Where?”

“In the center of the city. In an alley. Next to one of those old colleges.”

“Oh no,” Will said not loudly enough for Ashley to hear. Her description was horribly ambiguous, but the attack had clearly not occurred on the outskirts of town like the previous two. The fact crushed his hope that the abnormal had deliberately avoided attracting attention. “So you found it?”

She didn’t speak immediately. “No.”

Her fists slammed into the arms of the chair. Will jerked at the sudden thud. Blood filled Ashley’s cheeks.

Silence settled over the room like the morning English fog. Ashley gathered her thoughts. Will did not hurry her.

“You were right about the tracks,” she began, “and you were right not follow them further.” Her words were fragmented and distant. “I could hardly see them. I could hardly see a thing when I got there.” Frustrated and overcome by exhaustion she placed her hands over her face, drawing them through her hair and down the back of her neck.

“When I found your mark I began tracing the prints through the field—it was a muddy field. I kept my flashlight and gun out the whole time. They led to an abandoned farmhouse. It was close. Not even two hundred yards away. The door was wide open. I knew it wouldn’t be inside, but I still hoped.” Her hands returned to the chair and began wearing on the leather. “Hay was all over the ground, scattered in every direction. It was like a great wind had gone through. The ghoul had been fighting with someone. Or something. Something was going on. Wood, buckets, rakes, they were all scattered. Then I saw the blood. I couldn’t believe that I missed it initially.” Her head shook, and her body trembled. She struck Will as a teapot about to whistle. “It may have killed someone else in there. There was no left over body, but maybe it had just been hungry. The blood was everywhere, and fresh. There was a trail of it out the doorway and through the field. I followed it out of the farmhouse to a road. I ran—I ran as fast as I could for my bike and followed the blood up a street. It didn’t stop. It kept going.”

Ashley stood up and started pacing along the room. Her boots pummeled the floor. Will hoped that no one was sleeping in the room below them. “The trail of blood was strange, though. It darted in and out of alleyways. It wasn’t as—as consistent as the blood in the field.” She paused for a moment in thought. “It wasn’t as smooth as the path through the field.”

Will, who had been massaging his scalp with his fingertips, suddenly raised his head. “It’s trying to avoid detection,” he said. The epiphany lightened his mind.

Ashley did not stop pacing and only nodded at Will’s statement. She continued, “The blood was getting fresher. I could tell I was getting close. I turned onto a main street. High Street? “ Oxford’s geography continued to elude her.

“I knew I saw it in the glow of a streetlight. It turned down an alley. There’s so many alleys. I only saw it for a second, but it moved awkwardly. Like it had a limp. I rode as quickly as I could after the thing. The road it turned on wasn’t well lit. I couldn’t see the ghoul, but there was some kid walking away from me down the alley. I drove towards him. I thought maybe he could tell me something—he was probably just a drunk student. Then I saw the trail of blood. It still glistened even in the low light of the street. It had been there only second before I arrived. The blood trailed along the side of a parked van. That’s when I saw it—when I really saw it—right next to the kid.”

She stopped pacing and let out a long breath. “I maybe could have stopped it or yelled or shot at it, but the sight of it—I couldn’t do anything. I just froze.” She threw up her arms in a conceding shrug. She glared at Will. “It’s monstrous. It wasn’t that big. But it was monstrous. Its mouth was a giant hole.” She drew an imaginary circle in the air, big enough to fit a bowling ball through. “So many teeth. They still dripped blood. Teeth everywhere. I saw its eyes. They were focused completely on the kid. I finally snapped out of it, and I yelled at the kid to run, but it was hopeless. The ghoul launched itself from the front of the van. It bit almost half of him. Half. The jaws got wider somehow, and it could fit the kid’s entire body, down to his elbows, in its mouth.” Ashley imitated the slice from the abnormal’s bite, drawing her finger across her elbow and stomach. “The kid’s forearms dropped to the ground. And the ghoul hardly lost momentum! Where did it get that power? It landed and swallowed. The body fueled it. The ghoul cracked its legs and ran out of the alley down the street. Fast. It all happened in a matter of seconds.”

Will stood up and walked over to the table decorated with loose papers and photos. “Did you take care of the body?” he asked.

Her report served as a vent for her anger, and the passion in her eyes faded away. The uneasiness, however, remained. “Yeah. I don’t think anyone heard a thing. A couple Kebab guys were around the corner, but they don’t exactly seem the sharpest tools in the shed. Our UK team removed the body. We have the kid’s wallet, though. He’s Jacob Ibson. He was twenty, a second-year at St. Catherine’s.”

Will drummed his fingers along the table. “Ok. I’ll keep an eye out for his name in any police reports. There will probably by a Jacob Ibson shell walking around Oxford sometime soon.”

Ashley nodded. “Yeah.”

No one spoke.

Will eventually slapped his hands on the table and looked at Ashley. “We both need some sleep. If the abnormal is avoiding detection, we can at least rest with the comfort that it won’t cause a panic in the next five hours.”

“Can we?” she asked.

“No. But we aren’t going to be any help if we don’t sleep.”

“Yeah, sure,” Ashley said behind her as she retreated to her room.

Looking over whatever evidence was sprawled out across the table, Will sighed. There were so many unanswered questions. Why was the abnormal bleeding? Why did it have to go all the way to Broad Street to find a person to eat? And why is it walking through Oxford in the appearance of its victims?

Will bit his tongue and started to his room. He quickly reconsidered. He snatched a red marker and a sheet of paper from the piles. He wrote in big letters, “Razorjaw,” and put it in the center of the table.

This post has been edited by Adamo on Oct 15 2009, 12:08 AM

GREAT chapter. Your writing style is wonderful to read, and I absolutely love the suspense you're building up!

Thanks Pooka! If only you knew what version of the section this is... I lost count. Having Will act appropriately and capturing Ashley was something I was determined to get right. I hope I did them justice.

Oh, you did

Awesome...finally read it and it was worth the wait. It's wonderfully descriptive and very well written. You really know how to create atmosphere and build tension...looking forward to learning more about this strange abnormal!

Congrats to you and Josh

Thanks for the review Becki! It always amazes me the way Josh can put my ideas down on paper and in the most brilliant way. Im crossing my fingers that we will have section 5 posted before Friday, March 13... If not... ill see what I can do while in England, but no promises.

p.s. something funny about the 'strange' abnormal... the idea for the ghoul came to me when I saw a picture of a clown... they keep spilling out of volkswagons!!

Clowns are SCARY

Section 5:
Title:

“What the hell happened last night? You just—you just should have seen how excited Kristin was when I told her you were going to come! And then guess who has to see her baby eyes when you flake out on us? I covered for you as best I could. God, you’re lucky I’m such a good friend! You better call me soon and let me know what the hell happened. It’s not another girl, is it? If it’s another girl, I’ll kill you. I really will. Call me back.”

With that, Emily snapped her phone shut. She walked down High Street, her mind wandering. She tried to think of reasons that would cause Jacob to not show up last night. She hadn’t come up with any. She had done all she could to facilitate a relationship between Jacob and Kristin. She introduced them, and they got along well. Then, when he had the perfect opportunity to make his move, he stood them up. It made no sense.

Emily could only clear her throat in disgust. She threw the subject as far to the back of her mind as it would go and focused instead on the meeting she was going to be late for. She walked faster, but had to slow to nearly a halt when she met a long line of tourists following a man holding an umbrella in the air. She scanned along the road to find a way to maneuver around the group.

Someone caught her eye on the other side of the street. “Oh, you have got to be kidding,” she whispered. She glanced down at her watch. She figured she was already going to be late. What’s the difference between five minutes and fifteen, anyway?

Watching for buses, she ran across the street to confront Jacob and see if he had an excuse good enough to redeem himself.

Jacob didn’t notice her from the other side of the street, and Emily had to walk quickly to catch up with him. When she felt she was close enough, she shouted his name to get his attention. He didn’t hear her, and kept walking at the same pace. She repeated herself, louder. Still nothing. She sighed, realizing she was going to need to again push through the Oxford crowds. After navigating through the confused crowds, Emily emerged within reaching distance of Jacob, and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, you have some explaining to do,” she said.

Her words didn’t interrupt his pace, but she perceived that he jumped the slightest bit, like a dozing student when called on. Jacob made no reply.

His disregard frustrated Emily. Who is he to blow her off? He was the one who let down his friends last night! She was the one who should be angry. She should be ignoring him! Nevertheless, she felt antagonism would not be the best approach. She gritted her teeth and hid her anger.

“Look, don’t worry about last night. We were disappointed, but we’ll get over it. There will be other chances to see Kristin, so don’t worry.”

Jacob made no move that suggested he heard her. He only kept walking, still a few steps in front of her. Emily threw up her arms in frustration. That’s enough, she thought. She reached up her hand and gripped his shoulder, lightly guiding him around so that he would face her.

He swung around with speed that Emily had never before seen and grabbed the arm that had gripped her shoulder. Emily looked at him in shock. His hand wrapped around her entire arm. It was like when she had her blood pressure taken, only the nurse had squeezed the rubber ball far too many times. Emily could feel the blood pulsating in her arm, begging to be released.

Jacob looked at her with furious eyes. His body was rigid and focused. Emily no longer thought about Kristin or last night, but of getting away. She didn’t scream, to save Jacob the embarrassment once he found himself again. Her eyes could catch the oblivious crowds passing them on the sidewalk. Maybe she would need to scream, after all.

“Jacob?”

Emily was tottering on the edge of consciousness. She studied his callous face for another second, and realized there was no hope. She drew in a breath to give the most important scream of her life. Before she let it out, a man walked up from behind Jacob, and put a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. Jacob let her arm go.

Emily stumbled backwards, grasping her burning arm. The world was fuzzy, and Emily had to strain herself to distinguish any features of the man. His face struck her. It looked like it had recently lost a fight. There were scratches along his nose and cheek and a gash covered his chin. The remnants of a black eye added color to the depressing portrait.

The man looked at Emily gently, who still had trouble focusing on his face, and said, “I am incredibly sorry. Please forgive him.” He turned and started walking with Jacob down High Street.

The initial pain in Emily’s arm subsided after several seconds, and she regained her grounding in the world. No, she thought. Something was incredibly wrong, and a stranger was walking away with her friend. She had to do something. Fueled by adrenaline, she chased through the crowds to find Jacob and whoever the other guy was.

“Hey! Wait! What do you think you’re doing with Jacob!” her voice bounced with her steps, loud enough for the man to hear and the passerby’s to turn in curiosity.

The man stopped and turned towards Emily, who had just reached them. He gave her a look of utter confusion. His eyes were wide, but not with anger. Was that—was that fear? She didn’t know what to think.

She stopped panting and, closing her eyes, again drew in breath for the most important scream of her life. Before she could let it out, she felt a hand beginning to squeeze her neck. Everything went black.

This post has been edited by Adamo on Oct 15 2009, 12:09 AM

That was amazing!! Can't wait for more!!